1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,840 Speaker 1: Fred Show is on. It's stay or go. 2 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:09,400 Speaker 2: All right, Cassie. Hi, Cassie, good morning, Good morning. Still 3 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:10,920 Speaker 2: trying to get over the grilled cheese sandwich. 4 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: I gotta eat when I get home. That sounds good though. 5 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 2: I mean that's probably what it will be, but there's 6 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:17,320 Speaker 2: no protein in that. But this isn't about me. This 7 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:22,840 Speaker 2: is about you, Cassie. What's going on with this? This 8 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:25,160 Speaker 2: is your husband, right, this is three years you've been 9 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:26,000 Speaker 2: married and as a man. 10 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:30,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, so I've been married three years, but we've actually 11 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:33,319 Speaker 3: been together for seven. So I feel like I've known 12 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 3: him enough by now, and I'm just so freaking frustrated. 13 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I got your note here from Fred Show Radio 14 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:43,120 Speaker 2: dot com. So all right, what's the issue? You're frustrated? 15 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 2: Because what what is this guy doing? Let's handle this 16 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:47,559 Speaker 2: right now. We're going to solve this problem for you. 17 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 3: Good, I hope. So's I'm losing my mind. So he 18 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 3: stays up all night to play video games and people 19 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 3: tell me I should be grateful because he doesn't drink 20 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:01,480 Speaker 3: or do drugs, but he be screaming at people till 21 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,679 Speaker 3: four in the morning, and I can't get any sleep 22 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,560 Speaker 3: and he can't get any sleep, and he spends all 23 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:10,200 Speaker 3: his money and time on it. And he doesn't buy 24 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,680 Speaker 3: me flowers, but he'll buy a sixty dollars video game. 25 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:13,839 Speaker 1: Oh boy. 26 00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:15,759 Speaker 2: So he's got his head set on and he's yelling 27 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:19,000 Speaker 2: at you know, some kid in Tacoma, Washington. You know 28 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:23,240 Speaker 2: he's playing Madden or whatever. Those death games are, the 29 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:26,080 Speaker 2: shooting games Call of Duty COD. 30 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:29,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and I'm sure they're all eleven years old. Right, 31 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:30,400 Speaker 3: I'm like, get some friends. 32 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 2: I don't know yesterday or I don't know if it 33 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 2: was a tangent or on the air, but yeah, it's 34 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:39,160 Speaker 2: a little weird that, you know, adults are playing against children. 35 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 2: And I get that kids are good at these games 36 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,559 Speaker 2: and whatever, but I know it's a little strange. Okay, 37 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,399 Speaker 2: So this dude's spending all this time so he doesn't 38 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 2: buy you flowers. He's not in bed next to you. 39 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 1: He's not. 40 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:53,360 Speaker 2: I don't know, he's not paying enough attention to you. 41 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,400 Speaker 1: He's obsessed with these video games. It's bothering you. 42 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 3: Yeah. And sometimes he'll carall in bed and I'll be like, okay, 43 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,760 Speaker 3: it's been a while, maybe we'll have some you know, 44 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:06,440 Speaker 3: some sexy time. And no, he just is too tired 45 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:09,680 Speaker 3: from it, and I can't believe he's choosing that over me, 46 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 3: and I don't know it. It drives me crazy, and 47 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,359 Speaker 3: it's it's really hurting our marriage. 48 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 2: Honestly, I've seen tiktoks and I don't know if they're 49 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:19,120 Speaker 2: real or not, but I've seen tiktoks of women who 50 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,359 Speaker 2: walk out completely naked in front of their men who 51 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 2: are playing video games. 52 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,119 Speaker 1: And these dudes don't even look up. They'd rather play 53 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:24,840 Speaker 1: with their controllers. 54 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:27,320 Speaker 2: They don't even look up, and the woman's just standing there, like, 55 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:32,120 Speaker 2: come hither, you know, Yeah, I assume you've said something 56 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:35,960 Speaker 2: to him. I assume you've been like, yo, dude, you know, 57 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 2: I'm fine with this as a as a distraction or 58 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:43,240 Speaker 2: as you know, in moderation, the same way you'd be 59 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:46,160 Speaker 2: fine with him playing golf for whatever else whatever he does. 60 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,360 Speaker 2: But come on, like, enough is enough. We can't spend 61 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,680 Speaker 2: hours and hours. We have to like be a couple 62 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 2: and communicate it and spend time together. He can't always 63 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:55,639 Speaker 2: be video games. I assume you've said that to. 64 00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:59,520 Speaker 3: Him, Yeah, And I'll dress up and I don't know, 65 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:02,359 Speaker 3: he just he just like I don't know, he's like 66 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,680 Speaker 3: more in love with the video games than me. But yeah, 67 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:07,200 Speaker 3: the other day about like sixty hours with a lingerie 68 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:08,400 Speaker 3: and no, he wasn't having it. 69 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,519 Speaker 2: He was not interested, and he was mad because he 70 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,400 Speaker 2: couldn't spend the sixty bucks to make his little Mario 71 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,079 Speaker 2: Kart better or whatever. 72 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, but what's his response? 73 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 2: He's tired, Like when you say this to him, when 74 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 2: you say, like, hey man, what does he say to 75 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,079 Speaker 2: you in response or does he have a response. 76 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:27,560 Speaker 3: Well, like I said, he says, Okay, he doesn't drink 77 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,639 Speaker 3: and he doesn't do drugs, so he'll remind me of that. 78 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:32,120 Speaker 3: And maybe I should be greatful because my girlfriends tell 79 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:35,080 Speaker 3: me that, but I don't know. I feel like maybe 80 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:39,360 Speaker 3: he's just gasolighting me. But I can't tell because I 81 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 3: don't know. I feel like it's an addiction in itself. 82 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:42,720 Speaker 3: I feel like this is a problem. 83 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, somebody texted, well, it's not he's out cheating, Okay, 84 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:50,200 Speaker 2: But I mean that's a bit extreme, right, Like, yeah, 85 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,840 Speaker 2: that's nice that he's not defiling your marriage, but he's 86 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,000 Speaker 2: not lucky. He's not spending enough time with you. He's 87 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,600 Speaker 2: not paying attention to you. Again, an hour here, an 88 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 2: hour there, maybe even an hour a day whatever, couple. 89 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 2: I don't know, a couple hours, but if you're sitting there, 90 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 2: you know, from the time you get home to whenever 91 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:08,360 Speaker 2: playing these games, like what are you avoiding? You know, 92 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 2: because that's what I would argue, like what is it? 93 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,640 Speaker 2: Why are you so intent on doing this? As it posted? 94 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:15,880 Speaker 2: Why'd you get married? I mean, I know these are 95 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:19,760 Speaker 2: you know, much broader questions, but it's this is a problem. 96 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 2: And I don't care if it's that or what other 97 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:26,839 Speaker 2: other things that you could be doing any anything other 98 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 2: than paying attention to your significant other a little bit occasionally, right, 99 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 2: That's not too much. 100 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: To ask, Cassie. 101 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:38,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, and definitely I'm glad you brought that up because 102 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,120 Speaker 3: it definitely feels like he's cheating sometimes. But then again, 103 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,400 Speaker 3: I feel like I'm just being selfish. But then again, 104 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,239 Speaker 3: I don't know who he's talking to you on the games, 105 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,599 Speaker 3: like is it a child or is it a woman? 106 00:04:47,839 --> 00:04:50,000 Speaker 3: Like I have no idea. He's just in there at 107 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,479 Speaker 3: four am, so I don't know, but it does feel 108 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,280 Speaker 3: a little bit like, you know, the significant other is 109 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 3: his freaking games. 110 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 2: Well, now hold on, Cassie, let us be the ones 111 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,719 Speaker 2: to jump to the while let Ki keep you the 112 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 2: one to jump to the wild conclusions. Okay, I mean 113 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,159 Speaker 2: I was just I was focused more on the fact 114 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 2: that he's playing the games, and now Kiki's probably gonna 115 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:10,280 Speaker 2: take it to well, he's obviously talking to a woman. No, no, 116 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:13,720 Speaker 2: on the headset, that's where you would go with this. Okay, 117 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 2: let me take some phone calls on this eight five, five, five, nine, 118 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:20,039 Speaker 2: one one three five. Have the radio one, Cassie. Let's 119 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 2: see what people have to say. I'm sure there are 120 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:23,760 Speaker 2: other people who have been through this or are going 121 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 2: through this, uh and may have something to say about it, 122 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,080 Speaker 2: but I'm not sure. 123 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:30,240 Speaker 1: I mean, I wouldn't say. 124 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 2: Go no, but I would also say it's something that 125 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:38,360 Speaker 2: needs to be rectified, because I mean, what's the point 126 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 2: of being in a in a relationship if there's no dialogue, 127 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:44,880 Speaker 2: if there's no moderation, if he's not spending time with you. 128 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,320 Speaker 2: And it doesn't have to be all the time, but 129 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,200 Speaker 2: I mean, come on sometimes, right. 130 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:53,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure, I mean at least 131 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 3: once a week. But he's got to get off the games, 132 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:56,000 Speaker 3: he really does. 133 00:05:56,279 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 2: Let's see what the what folks have to say. Thank you, Cassie, 134 00:05:58,760 --> 00:05:59,760 Speaker 2: good luck have a good day. 135 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:01,279 Speaker 3: Thank you. 136 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, someone sitting on the sex lego building. You keep those, 137 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,040 Speaker 2: you keep them. Keep lego out of your mouth. 138 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,160 Speaker 4: It's got that Sobrina Carboner skin gone. 139 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,440 Speaker 1: He keeps it out of your mouth. I don't. There 140 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: is no one at home, so I can do whatever 141 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:12,680 Speaker 1: I want. 142 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,920 Speaker 2: I could eat my cheese sandwich on my legos, actually can, 143 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 2: because I can't get the grease on the legos and 144 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:18,159 Speaker 2: oh it's smudges. 145 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:20,480 Speaker 1: It looks terrible. That would drive you crazy. 146 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:23,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh no, I've read about this on people on 147 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,440 Speaker 2: Reddit that some people use gloves to assemble the legos. 148 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:28,000 Speaker 2: Some people they wash their hands every fifteen minutes because 149 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,080 Speaker 2: the oils will get on the shiny parts of the 150 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 2: lego and it makes it duller. 151 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:36,800 Speaker 1: All right, yeah, all right, yeah, that's too far from me. 152 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:40,120 Speaker 2: I mean, so for the people who have gamers, the 153 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,320 Speaker 2: significant others, I mean, how do you what would you 154 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 2: say to this? 155 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,080 Speaker 5: I had this situation, but it wasn't to this extreme, 156 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 5: and we weren't married, but we were living together and 157 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:50,920 Speaker 5: my ex was a super gamer to the point where 158 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,000 Speaker 5: I knew the names of the people on the game 159 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,400 Speaker 5: that he would be talking to, Like I would walk 160 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:55,760 Speaker 5: in the crib like what a war machine? 161 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:56,919 Speaker 6: That was one of his gamers. 162 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 5: Yeah, that was on the game. And but and I 163 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:03,800 Speaker 5: to some of the textors point like he's not out 164 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,000 Speaker 5: in the street, you know, he's safely in your house 165 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:07,880 Speaker 5: in the mills. 166 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 6: He's still active. But it was like not to this extreme. 167 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 5: So my suggestion to this lady would be, take talk 168 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 5: to your partner, take away the game for a week, 169 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:21,480 Speaker 5: and just see how he adjusts. If he is like 170 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 5: sweating and he's like having withdrawals, then it's an addiction 171 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,920 Speaker 5: and he needs to go talk to somebody about it. 172 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 5: If he can't go a week without it, then you 173 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:31,680 Speaker 5: all have a big problem. 174 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:35,200 Speaker 2: I'm would say try that the whole he's not cheating thing, 175 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,600 Speaker 2: or she's not cheating, but is not That is not 176 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:42,560 Speaker 2: a good enough justification. Like I'm being negligent in my relationship, 177 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:46,120 Speaker 2: I'm ignoring my partner, I'm not fulfilling my partner my 178 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:49,200 Speaker 2: obligation as as as a member of this relationship. 179 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,400 Speaker 5: But I'm not cheating. So yeah, and I'm not drunk 180 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:56,000 Speaker 5: or doing drugs, so to not be it's not a 181 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 5: malicious thing that he's doing. He is a malicious thing. 182 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,160 Speaker 5: Yet he's doing. It's a hog that he's obsessed with. 183 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:04,160 Speaker 5: And I think if you figure out that there may 184 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,000 Speaker 5: be an issue that like a real addiction, then you 185 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 5: can work through that. I don't think she needs to 186 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 5: leave her marriage, is what people are saying. Like if 187 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 5: he was cheating, if he was at the bar, the 188 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,640 Speaker 5: strip club every night, then yeah, you got a big, 189 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 5: big problem. But this man is playing video games in 190 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 5: the middle of the night, so maybe he was with 191 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,600 Speaker 5: you all day. He just can't sleep, he can't go 192 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:22,760 Speaker 5: to sleep. That may be another thing that he can 193 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 5: talk through with a therapist. I think it's an addiction there, 194 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:26,960 Speaker 5: But I just I don't want her to leave her 195 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:27,640 Speaker 5: marriage over this. 196 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 2: You're right, I would have said there's malice, But I 197 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:34,280 Speaker 2: also I would argue that if she's expressed a concern 198 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:39,240 Speaker 2: and he doesn't adjust his behavior, then there's a problem. Yes, 199 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:42,640 Speaker 2: and yeah it may not be rooted and hate, but 200 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:46,200 Speaker 2: it also or dislike. But it's also he's ignoring her, 201 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 2: he's not concerned about her needs. It would sound like Amanda, Hi, Hi, Hey, 202 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,360 Speaker 2: what do you want to say? Good morning, Welcome, thanks for. 203 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,360 Speaker 1: Listening, good morning. 204 00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:59,400 Speaker 4: I just wanted to say, I have a lot of 205 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,959 Speaker 4: intake on it. My boyfriend also plays a lot of 206 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:05,400 Speaker 4: video games, and so you know, he got me a 207 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:08,080 Speaker 4: computer and everything. So we actually play video games together 208 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,200 Speaker 4: because he was spending a lot of time on it, 209 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:13,200 Speaker 4: and we have games that we play together, and so 210 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 4: we kind of made it like an US thing and 211 00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:18,280 Speaker 4: it's worked out so far. It's really fun. 212 00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:20,360 Speaker 2: So basically you had to you had to go over 213 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,040 Speaker 2: to his side. You had to either get into his 214 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,920 Speaker 2: hobby or you were going to see him. I'm not 215 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 2: trying to minimize, you know what, what the compromise you 216 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,719 Speaker 2: come up with. But it wasn't all play less and 217 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 2: do your thing. It was you can just do what 218 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:30,840 Speaker 2: I'm doing. 219 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, because I like to leave by like example, So 220 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 4: I was like, well, if this is something he's into, 221 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:38,400 Speaker 4: then I can be into it. So now he's the 222 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:40,520 Speaker 4: one that comes to like Farmer's Markets with me, he'll 223 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 4: go out with me, because it's like a I started 224 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:46,120 Speaker 4: a compromise, so I started the bend and so now 225 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,840 Speaker 4: he bends back. So it's worked out pretty well and 226 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,679 Speaker 4: we I actually have fun like those games that I 227 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:53,120 Speaker 4: play by myself now and I'm just like, no, I'm 228 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 4: playing by myself. 229 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, aways at the tables turn and Amanda, you know 230 00:09:55,960 --> 00:10:00,440 Speaker 2: Amanda Killer sixty nine sixty nine on on cod Wait wait, 231 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:03,480 Speaker 2: wait till you become a champion and and you're not 232 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:05,360 Speaker 2: paying attention to him anymore. We'll see how he likes 233 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,160 Speaker 2: it then, exactly. 234 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,959 Speaker 4: And that's another thing I wanted to say too, is 235 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,160 Speaker 4: if he's not, like, you know, wanting to spend time 236 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,440 Speaker 4: with you, like, go spend time. 237 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:13,920 Speaker 7: With yourself, get all delled up, go. 238 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 4: Take yourself to dinner. He'll see that and he'll be like, wait, 239 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:18,200 Speaker 4: am I missing out on things? 240 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:22,640 Speaker 2: And he definitely is not a bad idea. Thank you, Amanda, 241 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:24,280 Speaker 2: have a good day. What do you want to say? 242 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,719 Speaker 8: Pe, I'm going to get dragged to hell by the 243 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,839 Speaker 8: gamer community, Like I know they're going to come for 244 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:30,880 Speaker 8: me at this very moment. 245 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:32,560 Speaker 1: Ahead. 246 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:34,640 Speaker 8: Well, but I say with my chest because I don't 247 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:38,080 Speaker 8: understand this hobby, and somebody I think texted, no, I 248 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:39,800 Speaker 8: really don't, and I have hobbies too. People probably look 249 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,920 Speaker 8: at it and go, I don't understand why or whatever. 250 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:44,520 Speaker 8: But someone texted us in saying that most gamers are 251 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,839 Speaker 8: in their thirties. So now is this deeper like, is 252 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,120 Speaker 8: this like a childhood thing, like you didn't get your 253 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:50,520 Speaker 8: games when you were a kid, or you didn't get 254 00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:51,720 Speaker 8: to play enough when you were a kid. 255 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:52,000 Speaker 3: I do. 256 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,520 Speaker 2: It's a distraction. It's a diversion from real life. And 257 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:57,520 Speaker 2: I don't think that's all bad in moderation, the same 258 00:10:57,559 --> 00:10:59,320 Speaker 2: way that I think people go all they get their 259 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:00,839 Speaker 2: mind of stuff legos. 260 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:03,559 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I mean that's what I'm doing it. I'm 261 00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:05,280 Speaker 1: not doing it because I really need. 262 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:09,160 Speaker 2: A model of a car, you know, or whatever. I 263 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 2: just it's something i've found, it's something I can do. 264 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 2: That just I have to think about it and not 265 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,400 Speaker 2: whatever else is going on. And that's like literally yesterday, 266 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 2: I'm putting this thing together and it's my phone's. 267 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:20,480 Speaker 1: Going ding ding ding ding ding, and. 268 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,320 Speaker 2: I'm not paying any attention because I want to finish 269 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,080 Speaker 2: that section of what I was doing. And that is 270 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,480 Speaker 2: an okay thing for me, because otherwise that phone goes thing, 271 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,720 Speaker 2: I grab it and I attend to that, and that 272 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:31,439 Speaker 2: is that is a slippery slope. 273 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:32,680 Speaker 6: You ignored me, that's abuse. 274 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 1: What did you ask me? 275 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,200 Speaker 6: YEA, I sent you, I was calling you, but you 276 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,000 Speaker 6: was doing lego. 277 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:41,640 Speaker 9: You did not wo No, But yeah, that makes sense, 278 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,040 Speaker 9: I guess because everyone's entitled to their their fun. I 279 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,440 Speaker 9: guess if legos makes you happy and it's fun and 280 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,920 Speaker 9: it distracts you from the world, cool, But I guess 281 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:51,560 Speaker 9: the moderation is key, right for anything you do in life. 282 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:54,360 Speaker 9: You're sitting all night like you're thirteen years old, like 283 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,040 Speaker 9: your parents are, you know, like got the link it 284 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:57,400 Speaker 9: over your head, parents are coming in and got your 285 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:58,080 Speaker 9: game boy whatever. 286 00:11:58,160 --> 00:11:59,000 Speaker 8: Like that's too much. 287 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean if you're not you know, bathing and 288 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:05,200 Speaker 2: eating and going to work and your relationship and whatever else. 289 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:08,960 Speaker 1: Hey, Jane, you live this thing. Good morning, j Yeah. 290 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:13,160 Speaker 7: I my first husband and he was in med school, 291 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,560 Speaker 7: you name it. I mean, the whole world coming for 292 00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:19,520 Speaker 7: him and gonna look good. And he started gaming and 293 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:25,280 Speaker 7: it was all the time. And you know, trial therapy. 294 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:27,200 Speaker 7: You know, that's a big thing for her to do. 295 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:28,920 Speaker 7: But if he won't do it, it's not going to 296 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:31,960 Speaker 7: get me better. I mean, it's it's sad, but it 297 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:34,600 Speaker 7: is an addiction. When it's like interfering with your life. 298 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,160 Speaker 7: It's no different than the bottle. It's no different than 299 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:40,360 Speaker 7: staying out all night. It's the same exact thing. It's 300 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:43,640 Speaker 7: just been a different task. Yeah, it's not even a 301 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,640 Speaker 7: good way. Addiction is addiction, and that's what's going on, 302 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:49,600 Speaker 7: and she doesn't get me help. You know, she's looking 303 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,480 Speaker 7: at three years now, she's looking at fifteen or twenty 304 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,600 Speaker 7: because it's going to stop. 305 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,800 Speaker 1: You left your husband over this, It says. 306 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:57,840 Speaker 7: Yes, I did. 307 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:01,840 Speaker 2: Wow, Wow, I'm sorry that happened to you. But I mean, 308 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,559 Speaker 2: I again, I think you're right. I mean it may 309 00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:08,880 Speaker 2: be different, you know, chemically or whatever. But if if 310 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,880 Speaker 2: someone has behavior that's detrimental to your relationship and you 311 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,040 Speaker 2: try and address it and it doesn't change, I don't 312 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:15,080 Speaker 2: know what you're supposed to do. 313 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:18,720 Speaker 7: Yeah, it's either you can accept it for what it 314 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,760 Speaker 7: is and stay, because all she can do is control 315 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,720 Speaker 7: what she does. And she can either accept it and 316 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,320 Speaker 7: hope it changes it may it may not, or she 317 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:27,760 Speaker 7: can go. 318 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:28,440 Speaker 1: Yeah. 319 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,679 Speaker 7: I mean, if he's not gonna she can't make him 320 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,240 Speaker 7: do anything. And if it's not, if the relationship isn't 321 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:36,760 Speaker 7: worth it for him, then she, you know, needs decided 322 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 7: she wants to stay with him or not. You know 323 00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:41,120 Speaker 7: what happens if they have kids. 324 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, well fair enough, and then Gean, thank you, thanks 325 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 2: for calling, Thanks for starting to have a good day. 326 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,560 Speaker 2: You know, if I could quote the great Mel Robbins 327 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:52,839 Speaker 2: from the let Them theory, Yeah, rob Yeah, well she's 328 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,440 Speaker 2: we tried to get her on and we were denied. 329 00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,560 Speaker 1: Busy as are Oh yeah. 330 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,280 Speaker 2: I took about five seconds and then to say not happening. 331 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:05,080 Speaker 2: But she does kind of address this at the end 332 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:09,040 Speaker 2: of the book, talking about you know, people's behavior, like 333 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,160 Speaker 2: trying to get someone to work out was an example 334 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,800 Speaker 2: she used, Like if you have a partner who just 335 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 2: lays on the couch all day and won't get in shape, 336 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,640 Speaker 2: and you've tried to express that you care about their 337 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 2: health and well being whatever, first of all, you got 338 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,160 Speaker 2: to model the proper behavior, which would be then to 339 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:24,280 Speaker 2: maybe do some of these things that you want him 340 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 2: to do yourself. But you cannot ride people like you 341 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:31,240 Speaker 2: simply cannot ride someone and give ultimatums and make threats 342 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,640 Speaker 2: and the rest of it. It's like, you know, maybe 343 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:36,120 Speaker 2: she does. I mean, maybe there's something too getting dulled 344 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 2: up and going out with her friends and not riding 345 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:40,800 Speaker 2: him on it all I see you later, and going 346 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,520 Speaker 2: out and living life and having a good time and 347 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:44,760 Speaker 2: doing the things that she wants to do without him 348 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,760 Speaker 2: and either he's going to see that and go, Okay, 349 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 2: wait a minute. You know she's not on me about this? 350 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,120 Speaker 2: Why not you know why all of a sudden is 351 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 2: she not all over me about changing my behavior? 352 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:57,000 Speaker 1: Is she moving on? 353 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:57,680 Speaker 2: Is she? Do? 354 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:58,920 Speaker 1: I need to try harder? You know? 355 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:01,440 Speaker 2: And again, it's not about him, it's about you. But 356 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:03,720 Speaker 2: at the same time, and if you do that long 357 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 2: enough and there's zero adjustment, zero change, zero motivation, then 358 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,560 Speaker 2: you got to go. But I mean, I think you 359 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:11,240 Speaker 2: start by again. If every day you come home you're like, 360 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,760 Speaker 2: have a video game again, that's not going to motivate 361 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:17,520 Speaker 2: anybody to change. Look at me, I'm basically a motivational speaker. Now, 362 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:21,880 Speaker 2: thanks Mel Robbins. I'm gonna give a Ted talk soon. Hey, Kara, 363 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 2: let them Hello? Hi, how are you what? You Just 364 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,280 Speaker 2: to recap I'm sorry to interrupt you, but just to 365 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:31,240 Speaker 2: recap your stay go. This woman is married to a 366 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,040 Speaker 2: guy who appears to be addicted to video games. He 367 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:34,640 Speaker 2: cares more about the video games than he does about 368 00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:35,360 Speaker 2: spending time with her. 369 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,040 Speaker 1: What do you think I mean? 370 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:37,520 Speaker 7: Girl? 371 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:40,720 Speaker 10: Look, it does not matter if he's not in the clubs. 372 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,840 Speaker 10: It does not matter if he's not cheating with her 373 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:46,800 Speaker 10: and doing drugs. The end result is the same. He 374 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,800 Speaker 10: is not chaining out with her like a married man 375 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:54,200 Speaker 10: should be. And seriously, who takes a grown man seriously 376 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:55,880 Speaker 10: who plays video games all day? 377 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:57,080 Speaker 6: And almost he lost me? 378 00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:00,560 Speaker 1: Well, what do you mean video game all day? 379 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,680 Speaker 2: I wouldn't take a person seriously who plays video games 380 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,720 Speaker 2: all day instead of attending their needs and the relationship 381 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:06,600 Speaker 2: to God. 382 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:10,840 Speaker 10: Who could Now she can jump on the bandwagon and 383 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,600 Speaker 10: get into video games with him, But then what happens 384 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 10: when they have kids? Yeah? I mean she's got two, three, 385 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:20,280 Speaker 10: four kids with him included. 386 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:25,240 Speaker 7: Well, they don't make it a family thing the kids. 387 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:28,080 Speaker 2: Is he even involved in that process? You know, because 388 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,080 Speaker 2: he's involved with her. 389 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,280 Speaker 10: Right now, How can he be involved with them? 390 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 1: Yeah? I agree, girls gotta. 391 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:40,440 Speaker 2: Go, Yeah, have a good day. 392 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:42,960 Speaker 11: I was with her, But I think it's okay to 393 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,880 Speaker 11: sometimes take someone seriously who plays video games all day 394 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:49,240 Speaker 11: and all night constantly. No, I'm with I think it's 395 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,840 Speaker 11: okay to sometimes do that, Like it's okay to indulge 396 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,120 Speaker 11: my issue, which is what she started with, is going well, 397 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,800 Speaker 11: at least I'm not doing X, Y or Z. No, 398 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:58,640 Speaker 11: that was what you committed to when we got into 399 00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:00,640 Speaker 11: a relationship. You the bars on the floor. You are 400 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,920 Speaker 11: giving me the bare minimum you owe me that, so 401 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,800 Speaker 11: to go. I'm not doing this, so I should be 402 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,800 Speaker 11: allowed to do this. That is completely unfair and that's manipulation. 403 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,120 Speaker 2: I don't care if it's video games or working out. 404 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:11,840 Speaker 2: I don't even care if it's a healthy activity. If 405 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 2: you're doing something all day and all night, you're obsessed. 406 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,600 Speaker 6: I could be worse, Yeah, for sure. 407 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:19,320 Speaker 11: But I'm saying you can have days where you do 408 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:20,240 Speaker 11: that and indulge. 409 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,119 Speaker 5: I'm okay with that, true, because I mean it's like 410 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,760 Speaker 5: your kid doing drug like mom. I could be a crackheads, 411 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:32,760 Speaker 5: ribbing banks, right, robbanks. 412 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,520 Speaker 2: These days it's not arm Oh well, I don't know. 413 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,840 Speaker 2: I'd much rather you do that, see what I'm saying. Yeah, 414 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,280 Speaker 2: we're gonna move on to entertainment. Report is up next, 415 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:43,159 Speaker 2: five hundred bucks with Kiki less than ten minutes to 416 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:45,240 Speaker 2: eight if you can beat her in five questions. Friends 417 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:47,679 Speaker 2: show back into and we're commercial freaks.