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Speaker 1: How do you combat the doubt? You combat the doubt

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Speaker 1: by looking at what are the actual results? And if

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Speaker 1: you're trying to measure yourself from today to yesterday, of

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Speaker 1: course the picture is not going to be that pretty.

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Speaker 1: But if you measure yourself from when you began to

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Speaker 1: where you are now, which could be weeks or months,

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Speaker 1: then you get a better picture of how far you

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Speaker 1: have come.

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Speaker 2: What's going on?

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Speaker 3: Everyone, Emily Abadi here, you are listening to season fifteen

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Speaker 3: the premiere a Virtle, a wellness focus podcast where I

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Speaker 3: connect with everyone from your favorite athletes to top experts

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Speaker 3: and industry CEOs about their highest hies, toughest moments, and

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Speaker 3: everything in between. We all go through hurdles in life,

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Speaker 3: and my goal through these discussions is to empower you

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Speaker 3: to better navigate yours and move with intention so that

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Speaker 3: you can stride towards your own big potential and of

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Speaker 3: course have some fun along the way. Wow, six hundred

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Speaker 3: and seventy eight episodes in the catalog. Hurdle is now

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Speaker 3: listened to in over two hundred and fifteen countries, and

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Speaker 3: we are back over season fifteen. Wow, it's just yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's crazy. A little bit of backstory here for those

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Speaker 3: of you that may be newer to the feed. Hurdles

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Speaker 3: started at the very top of twenty eighteen. I was

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Speaker 3: going through some turbulent moments in my personal and professional life.

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Speaker 3: Recently let go from Conde Nast after Self magazine folded,

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Speaker 3: where I was the fitness editor. There, I was freelance

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Speaker 3: writing and asking myself, what is it that I want

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Speaker 3: to do with my voice, what is it that I

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Speaker 3: want to put into the world, And sitting on a

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Speaker 3: couch with a good friend, I said this statement. I said,

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Speaker 3: I just want to get over this hurdle. And it

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Speaker 3: was in that moment and it all started to spiral.

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Speaker 3: It all started to concept. I wanted to combine my

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Speaker 3: years of editorial experience over a decade working in the

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Speaker 3: health and wellness space, with my passion in pursuit for

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Speaker 3: the area of wellness, having my own personal story of transformation.

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Speaker 3: That really taught me that the best thing that you

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Speaker 3: can invest in is yourself. For more on my story,

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Speaker 3: you can check out episode one of the show.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to link that in.

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Speaker 3: The show notes and now today, I could not be

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Speaker 3: more elated to bring you episode two hundred and sixty

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Speaker 3: nine of hurdle with the one the only. Diego Perez,

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Speaker 3: better known to many of you as Young Pueblo. You're

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Speaker 3: likely familiar with his writing. It's all over social media.

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Speaker 3: He has a new book out right now, all link

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Speaker 3: that in the show notes as well, and it's called

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Speaker 3: The Way Forward. His writing has been gosh so influential

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Speaker 3: for me over the years, and I was elated that

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Speaker 3: is the biggest understatement to have the opportunity to sit

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Speaker 3: down with him for are a really special conversation.

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Speaker 2: We talk about his beginnings.

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Speaker 3: He talks to me about the rock bottom hurdle moment

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Speaker 3: he experienced in college that inspired him to walk away

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Speaker 3: from drugs for good and examine the anxieties and fears

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Speaker 3: that he had been running away from for so long.

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Speaker 3: Diego also opens up about how he got into meditation

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Speaker 3: through doing this self work and how he integrates it

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Speaker 3: into his every day currently meditating every single day for

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Speaker 3: two hours. He gives us the tips and tricks on

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Speaker 3: how he never skips that practice and why he never will.

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Speaker 3: If you're a fan of Diego's writing, then you know

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Speaker 3: that he often touches on topics like boundaries and self

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Speaker 3: worth and relationships, and we have a lot of great

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Speaker 3: dialogue on so many of.

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Speaker 2: Those themes in today's episode.

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Speaker 3: Make sure you're following along with Hurdle over on socialists

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Speaker 3: at Hurdle Podcast. I myself am over at Emily a Body,

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Speaker 3: and we've got a weekly new It's called the Weekly Hurdle.

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Speaker 3: It comes out every Friday. The link to subscribe to

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Speaker 3: that it's absolutely free, is also in the show notes.

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Speaker 2: Let's do this, Let's get to hurdling today.

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Speaker 3: I am sitting down with Diego Perez. He is a

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Speaker 3: best selling author known to many as Young Giblow.

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Speaker 2: How you doing today?

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Speaker 1: I'm doing really well. Thank you for having me, Emily.

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Speaker 1: I'm excited to talk.

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Speaker 3: I know the fact that I was able to not

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Speaker 3: only secure you for the show, but secure you for

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Speaker 3: the show during such a hectic time for you. How

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Speaker 3: are you feeling right now?

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Speaker 4: I'm feeling pretty good.

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Speaker 1: I just finished a week in Los Angeles doing a

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Speaker 1: bunch of interviews there, so I'm just like happy to

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Speaker 1: be home this week and kind of focusing on, you know,

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Speaker 1: doing what needs to get done, but also preparing myself

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Speaker 1: energetically to go back out on the road.

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Speaker 3: I know in the intro, of course, I will have

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Speaker 3: mentioned the Way Forward.

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Speaker 2: That's what we're talking.

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Speaker 3: About right now, you have a new new book coming out.

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Speaker 3: Does having a new book come out feel like maybe

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Speaker 3: having a child?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: And you know what's funny is that in the sense

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Speaker 1: that this book, I feel like it just puts together

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Speaker 1: and makes sense all the other books. You know, it

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Speaker 1: is sort of like weaves this larger picture. Because I

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Speaker 1: wrote this one book.

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Speaker 4: Called Later.

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Speaker 1: Last year and it was a nonfiction book, which was

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Speaker 1: really different from the poetry and prose books that are

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Speaker 1: usually usually released. But the Way Forward kind of just

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Speaker 1: brings together inward and clarity and connection. And to me,

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Speaker 1: those first two poetry and prose books like they were

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Speaker 1: incomplete without the Way Forward. So it almost feels like

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Speaker 1: a sigh of relief, like, Okay, they're all out there.

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Speaker 1: It's a complete set, and now people will, hopefully, you know,

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Speaker 1: really understand what I'm talking about.

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Speaker 3: Really understand what you're talking about, and a lot of

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Speaker 3: people keep up with what you're talking about. Something like

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Speaker 3: over two point seven million followers on Instagram, many of

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Speaker 3: them regular really sharing your stuff. Before we get into

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Speaker 3: a little bit of your backstory and how you got

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Speaker 3: to be in this place, that you are. Now, I

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Speaker 3: do want to talk about the meaning behind the pseudonym

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Speaker 3: young Pueblo.

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Speaker 2: So why don't you give us the lowdown?

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Speaker 1: Sure, so, Young Pueblo. It was a name that kind

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Speaker 1: of just pop up, like popped into my mind when

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Speaker 1: I first got onto Instagram back in like twenty twelve,

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Speaker 1: and back then it was just a private account. But

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Speaker 1: when I started meditating, I started realizing that I'm really immature,

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Speaker 1: Like I have a lot of growing up to do,

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Speaker 1: and I've been studying history my whole life, like I've

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Speaker 1: always been really like just enjoyed learning about the rise

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Speaker 1: and fall of empires, like how systems develop over time.

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Speaker 1: And I started realizing that humanity as a whole is

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Speaker 1: very immature. Like when we're trying to think about what

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Speaker 1: actually is maturity, I always like to think back to

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Speaker 1: what were we first learning when we were kids. And

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Speaker 1: when you send a kid to kindergarten, the first things

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Speaker 1: that teachers are trying to teach you is like how

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Speaker 1: to clean up after yourself, how to share, how to

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Speaker 1: be kind to one another, how to tell the truth,

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Speaker 1: you know, and just generally you know, to not.

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Speaker 4: Hit each other.

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Speaker 1: These like fundamental basics and we may be good at

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Speaker 1: these things as individuals, but as a human collective, we

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Speaker 1: haven't mastered these basic things at all. And to me,

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Speaker 1: young Pueblo it just means young people, and it means like,

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Speaker 1: you know, we're still on the rise, We're still mature,

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Speaker 1: and we're still growing. And that's why I like to

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Speaker 1: focus all of my writing around personal transformation and relationships,

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Speaker 1: because I feel like, in a big way, these things

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Speaker 1: are the building blocks of society, and to me, my

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Speaker 1: writing feels like one of the sort of very small

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Speaker 1: things that you know, because so many different people are

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Speaker 1: trying to improve humanity as a whole through their own way,

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Speaker 1: and you know, I'm just trying to add to that

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Speaker 1: current of the many millions that are trying to push

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Speaker 1: us in a better direction.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, that's really special.

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Speaker 3: And you know, it's so interesting because you talk about

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Speaker 3: this concept that humanity is potentially entering an era of

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Speaker 3: remarkable growth and healing, but there is just so much

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Speaker 3: happening in the world.

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Speaker 2: In this work that.

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Speaker 3: You do, do you go through periods of feeling maybe

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Speaker 3: frustrated or just at a loss for what is going

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Speaker 3: on in our world in terms of society, and so

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Speaker 3: many other facets.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, like every other week.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you just watch, you keep watching the news, and

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Speaker 1: like the news, you know, it'll bring focus to like

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Speaker 1: obviously things that are important, and but you keep sort

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Speaker 1: of developing this sort of more more microscopic attention when

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Speaker 1: you're looking at different like, oh, this issue that's going

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Speaker 1: on here, this issue that's going on there. But what

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Speaker 1: I try to do is intentionally take a big step back.

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Speaker 1: If I'm going to try to really get a sense of,

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Speaker 1: you know, how we're moving as humanity, I have to

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Speaker 1: remind myself that, like we live in a special time,

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Speaker 1: Like we live in a time where there are millions

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Speaker 1: and millions of people who are meditating these days, millions

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Speaker 1: and millions of people who are seeking different forms of therapy,

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Speaker 1: people who are you know, using psychiatry or using you know,

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Speaker 1: there's so many different healing modalities that are available to

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Speaker 1: people now than ever before, and to me, this is

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Speaker 1: like historically unprecedented, right, Like these modalities that come from

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Speaker 1: the Eastern world, that come from indigenous, modalities that come

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Speaker 1: from the Western world, Like they're more widely accessible than

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Speaker 1: they ever been. Like we can always go further in

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Speaker 1: terms of accessibility, but it's undeniable that these modalities that

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Speaker 1: can help transform your mind are way more accessible. So

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Speaker 1: to me, that gives me a lot of hope because

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Speaker 1: there are always people that are trying to change the

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Speaker 1: world for the better, but this is one of the

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Speaker 1: first times where we can change ourselves individually internally as

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Speaker 1: we're trying to change the world. And to me, that's

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Speaker 1: the miss peace.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: You know, it's interesting that you bring up the word

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Speaker 3: accessibility because as you pointed out, there still is work

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Speaker 3: that can be done on that front, and I would

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Speaker 3: almost argue that some people who struggle with accessibility turn

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Speaker 3: to content like yours to help them get through their

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Speaker 3: difficult moments. How does that statement make you feel? When

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Speaker 3: did you come to a place where you realize that,

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Speaker 3: as an individual, you diego have that opportunity to help others?

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Speaker 1: I think, I mean one, I feel really grateful that

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Speaker 1: that's even the way things have turned out. I feel

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Speaker 1: it's interesting because a lot of times, like you know, I,

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Speaker 1: as an individual like I can't define things. I can

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Speaker 1: only give my perspective on things, and I can only

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Speaker 1: reflect openly because that's what I really feel like I'm doing.

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Speaker 1: I'm just openly reflecting and sharing things that would be

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Speaker 1: happening in my own mind, you know, if it was

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Speaker 1: just me and myself. But the way that things have

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Speaker 1: worked out, you know, putting things out there on the

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Speaker 1: Internet and how big they've gotten. I feel like a

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Speaker 1: mixture of a sense of responsibility and also reminding myself

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Speaker 1: like at the end of the day, you know, I

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Speaker 1: can't control the way people perceive different things that I write,

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Speaker 1: and ultimately, like all I can really share are my perspectives.

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Speaker 1: And to me, I feel like the number one most

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Speaker 1: important thing is that I just keep meditating. Like that's

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Speaker 1: that's the number one thing. It's like if I keep

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Speaker 1: you know, meditating in this footposita, a practice that has

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Speaker 1: given me so much, Like I've been in the Goenka

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Speaker 1: tradition for eleven years now and the results have been

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Speaker 1: like completely life changing. And I've seen the way that

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Speaker 1: it has improved my relationship with my wife, you know,

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Speaker 1: with my parents, with my brother and sister, and just

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Speaker 1: with you know, with everything that comes together with work.

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Speaker 1: So to me, it's like, if I want to put

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Speaker 1: forward the best version of myself, I just need to

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Speaker 1: double down on meditating because I know that's what works

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Speaker 1: for me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's that whole put your oxygen mask on first

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Speaker 3: so that you can then help others situation. And your

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Speaker 3: meditation practice is quite extensive. You meditate for two hours

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Speaker 3: a day.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I've been doing that for like, I think

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Speaker 1: it's a little more than eight years now, and I've

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Speaker 1: been you know, doing it daily, and it's been you know,

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Speaker 1: it's a big time investment.

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Speaker 4: But I always think about the results that I get.

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Speaker 1: That's what reminds me, like, you know, whenever I feel tired,

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Speaker 1: or I feel too lazy, or you know, I want

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Speaker 1: to watch too much Netflix, it's like, now, you know, remember,

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Speaker 1: like this is actually improving every facet of your life.

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Speaker 1: And even with you know, meditating two hours a day

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Speaker 1: and having all this work that I need to do,

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Speaker 1: it still feels like, you know, you can still find

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Speaker 1: time to waste.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, I mean this is like the definition of

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Speaker 3: if he wanted to, he would oh man, Well, I

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Speaker 3: do think that there is some context to provide in that.

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Speaker 3: It's not like one day you just said, you know

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Speaker 3: what I'm going to start doing. I'm going to start

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Speaker 3: meditating for two hours a day, and then that brought

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Speaker 3: you all of these different results obviously, then in turn

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Speaker 3: this audience, so give us some context into where you

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Speaker 3: were in your life when you first found meditation.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm glad you're pointing that out, because it was

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Speaker 1: all very slow and gradual. So I was at the

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Speaker 1: summer of twenty eleven, I sort of hit this breaking

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Speaker 1: point in my life where I was trying to run

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Speaker 1: away from my emotions as fast as possible in the

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Speaker 1: easiest way possible. And the medium that I found was,

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Speaker 1: you know, drugs and alcohol, just like trying to you know,

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Speaker 1: whenever a tense emotion would arise, I would try my

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Speaker 1: fastest to just like find some weed, roll a joint,

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Speaker 1: or drink alcohol or or go to as many parties

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Speaker 1: as possible. And that long pattern that was lasting for

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Speaker 1: about five to six years, it resulted in me just

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Speaker 1: like wrecking my body right, Like my mind felt terrible,

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Speaker 1: my body felt terrible, And there was one particular night

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Speaker 1: where I pushed my body to and I felt like

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Speaker 1: I was dying, Like I felt like my heart was

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Speaker 1: going to explode. And in that moment, I realized, if

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Speaker 1: I keep going like this, you know, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: lose my life. Like my body literally can't take it anymore,

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Speaker 1: and I started changing my habits, you know, quite slowly.

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Speaker 1: The first thing I did was I just stopped all

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Speaker 1: the things that could immediately endanger my life. So any

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Speaker 1: hard drugs, I put them down, and I started, you know,

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Speaker 1: going for long walks. I started trying to tell myself

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Speaker 1: the truth. I started practicing not running away from my

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Speaker 1: emotions even when it was difficult. And it felt like

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Speaker 1: this sort of this year long period of self love

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Speaker 1: where I was just you know, and I'm talking like

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Speaker 1: pre the self love era, like twenty that twenty eleven,

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Speaker 1: you know, twenty eleven to twenty twelve, when people on

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Speaker 1: Instagram weren't even talking about self love yet, and it

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Speaker 1: felt like a really nourishing and empowering time, especially in

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Speaker 1: regards to all those emotions that I was avoiding because

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Speaker 1: to me, when they would come up, all that tension,

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Speaker 1: it felt so daunting to even sit with it. But

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Speaker 1: when I challenged myself to spend five, ten, fifteen minutes

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Speaker 1: just you know, literally sitting on my bed feeling those emotions,

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Speaker 1: it was surprisingly not as overwhelming as I thought they

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Speaker 1: it was going to be. So in that moment, I

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Speaker 1: felt like a lot of my you know, I got

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Speaker 1: to reclaim a lot of my power, and eventually I

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Speaker 1: did a silent ten day meditation course. And when I

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Speaker 1: did that course, it was super, super difficult, and I,

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Speaker 1: you know, basically honestly barely made it through. But when

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Speaker 1: I finished the course, I realized that my mind felt lighter,

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Speaker 1: and my mind felt better than before, almost like if

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Speaker 1: it was, you know, ten to fifteen percent lighter than

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Speaker 1: it used to be. And by lighter, I mean like

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Speaker 1: there was less anxiety, less stress, less tension, like less

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Speaker 1: of that reactive quality. And I was really shocked by that.

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Speaker 1: So over the next two year period, between twenty twelve

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Speaker 1: and twenty fourteen, I did a few more of those

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Speaker 1: ten day courses before I actually started meditating every day. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, a few things that double click on first and foremost.

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Speaker 3: You're doing all of this in your early twenties, you

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Speaker 3: really made a myriad of choices, all at the same time,

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Speaker 3: all of which individually could have been difficult to execute.

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Speaker 3: So for someone else who may recognize certain patterns or

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Speaker 3: wants to make a profound change in their life, and

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Speaker 3: they do recognize that there are several different things that

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Speaker 3: they want to do, what do you say to them,

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Speaker 3: because I think that that in itself can be daunting,

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Speaker 3: wanting to incorporate all of these different changes at the

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Speaker 3: same time totally.

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Speaker 1: And it sounds like a lot when I'm telling the story,

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Speaker 1: you know, like the quick like two to three minute

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Speaker 1: version of the story. But it was like slow, you know,

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Speaker 1: like it was I'm talking slow, like I remember the

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Speaker 1: first two things between twenty eleven and twenty twelve. Or

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Speaker 1: I don't do any drugs that can take your life

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Speaker 1: and move move your body, like go for long walks,

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Speaker 1: go to the gym, you know, drink more water, do

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Speaker 1: things that would help my body. And that was like

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Speaker 1: the primary objective for that first year. And when that

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Speaker 1: felt sort of secure, when it felt like second nature,

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Speaker 1: like it was like, Okay, this isn't too difficult. I'm

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Speaker 1: getting into the rhythm and habit of this. Then it

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Speaker 1: was like, okay, what can I turn my attention next,

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Speaker 1: you know, to next? And that's when I started focusing

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Speaker 1: on meditating and going even deeper with facing my emotions.

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Speaker 4: And you know, that.

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Speaker 1: Took like a that took like a two and a

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Speaker 1: half almost three year period where it was like okay,

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Speaker 1: like I want to bring meditation into my daily life,

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Speaker 1: and I kept building. So my advice to people is, like,

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Speaker 1: you don't want to change everything at once. You want

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Speaker 1: to pick like one or two of the most important

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Speaker 1: things and strengthen them, like put your determination to them,

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Speaker 1: make them building blocks, like fine foundational aspects of your life,

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Speaker 1: and then once they feel secure, then you put put

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Speaker 1: the next brick in right and pick the next thing

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Speaker 1: that you're going to work on. And like that, I think,

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Speaker 1: you know, that's really where I am now is like

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Speaker 1: every two years, like even now, like I feel like

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Speaker 1: right now this time, because meditation is so dialed in

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Speaker 1: and like I'm going to meditate every day no matter what.

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Speaker 1: Right like, I know that I'm going to do it,

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Speaker 1: and I know how how good it is for me,

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Speaker 1: and it's not a questionable thing. So now my attention

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Speaker 1: is turning to more so fine tuning my health and

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Speaker 1: trying to bring it to like a new level of

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Speaker 1: health so that you know, I can you know, hopefully

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Speaker 1: be a dad someday and like take great care of

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Speaker 1: my kids and like you know, be light and healthy

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Speaker 1: and able to play with them as hard as I can.

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Speaker 1: And so but all these things like take time, so

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Speaker 1: like the beginning was just like trying to save myself,

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Speaker 1: like save my life, and now it's like, let's get.

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Speaker 3: Stronger, beautifully put And I'm curious, are you habit stacking

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Speaker 3: at all with the meditation? So is there anything else

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Speaker 3: for you at this moment that you pair with that

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Speaker 3: that practice that's a non negotiable.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's really interesting. No, I mean the meditation. I

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Speaker 1: definitely keep it like separate to everything else, Like I

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Speaker 1: don't want to like over like it's already like it's

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Speaker 1: its own big thing that's giving me so many things.

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Speaker 1: So I always keep it kind of separate from everything

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Speaker 1: else and try not to combine it with other things.

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Speaker 1: But I think the only other, like super simple thing

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Speaker 1: that I'm making sure to do is just to like

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Speaker 1: drink a glass of water when I wake up. It's

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Speaker 1: like it's so easy to just get dehydrated throughout the day.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like, let me get a glass of water

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Speaker 1: and then I'll sit down to meditate in the morning.

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Speaker 1: But the other things are kind of like and this

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Speaker 1: is like the issue with a lot of people who

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Speaker 1: like own their own businesses and are there you know,

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Speaker 1: they're they're their own employer. Is like every day can

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Speaker 1: be so different, right, Like one day you'll wake up

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Speaker 1: and it's the moment you wake up, you just have

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Speaker 1: meeting after meeting after meeting, or all these different things.

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Speaker 1: So to me, like, I meditate two hours a day,

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Speaker 1: but it depends, you know. Sometimes I'll wake up and

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Speaker 1: meditate right away, or other days I'll wake up and

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Speaker 1: then meditate like sort of three hours after I wake up,

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Speaker 1: because the first few hours are just things I have

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Speaker 1: to do or I have to squeeze in my workout first.

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Speaker 1: And you know, so every day is pretty different.

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Speaker 2: Every day is pretty different.

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Speaker 3: Do you have those days where you realize that it's

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Speaker 3: six o'clock and you haven't gotten the time to meditate yet.

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Speaker 1: No, because I make time, Like I'm just like, if

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Speaker 1: you know, if it's if it gets too late in

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Speaker 1: the day, I'm like, you know, because the value of

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Speaker 1: sitting those two hours a day. And then something that

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Speaker 1: you know, I learned from from my teachers and Guanka

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Speaker 1: is like you want to meditate at some point in

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Speaker 1: the morning because that whole time at night when you

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Speaker 1: were sleeping, you were reacting to your sensations.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 1: We often think that we're reacting to the thoughts or

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Speaker 1: the dreams in our minds, or the memories that are

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Speaker 1: passing through through the mental theater that we all have.

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Speaker 1: But all of those things that arise on the mind

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Speaker 1: simultaneously arise with since stations on the body, and we

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Speaker 1: don't quite realize, like when we feel anger, we feel sadness,

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Speaker 1: like those are feelings in the body, like we feel them.

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Speaker 1: Anxiety is like a clear feeling, and what we don't

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Speaker 1: like is like is that feeling?

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Speaker 4: You know?

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Speaker 1: We have a version to that. So that level of

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Speaker 1: sensations is always on. We're constantly reacting to it. And

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Speaker 1: you can tell even when you're sleeping, right, you'll be

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Speaker 1: sleeping on your bed and if it gets cold, like

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Speaker 1: you'll grab the covers and put them on your body

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Speaker 1: even though you're still asleep, or you'll take them off

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Speaker 1: because it's too hot, and I think you know. So

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Speaker 1: you wake up in the morning and you have actually

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Speaker 1: been reacting all night. So it's almost like a way

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Speaker 1: for you to clean your mind from all the stuff

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Speaker 1: that you've been accumulating at night, and the same thing

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Speaker 1: meditating in the evening, you're like cleaning your mind from

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Speaker 1: all the stuff you accumulated throughout the day when you

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Speaker 1: were working and doing whatnot.

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Speaker 3: It's like a physical manifestation of the glymphatic system, like

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Speaker 3: just happening right when you wake up.

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Speaker 2: In the morning.

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Speaker 3: It's so interesting to hear again about this like content,

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Speaker 3: because it is so so beautiful.

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Speaker 2: How you make it a priority for yourself.

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Speaker 3: You talked about how when you first started prioritizing your

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Speaker 3: own health and well being, you recognize that you were

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Speaker 3: both your words, immature and also that you weren't taking

440
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:18,520
Speaker 3: the time to take care of yourself.

441
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:21,679
Speaker 2: Is there something that you can attribute that to.

442
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:24,160
Speaker 3: Was that a learned behavior or something that you saw

443
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,920
Speaker 3: growing up that you didn't want to interact with your

444
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:30,560
Speaker 3: emotions or was this just the result of your environment.

445
00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:30,680
Speaker 2: At that time.

446
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,719
Speaker 1: Oh, that's a great question. I think there's a number

447
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:38,000
Speaker 1: of things. I think, you know, I would cope by

448
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:41,160
Speaker 1: trying to escape, right by trying to just like not

449
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,560
Speaker 1: not deal with whatever is there and ignore it. But

450
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:46,840
Speaker 1: I think the other part was I think something that

451
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,199
Speaker 1: a lot of us people our age are reckoning with

452
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,879
Speaker 1: is like most of us when we didn't grow up

453
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:56,359
Speaker 1: with parents that were meditators or or therapists or anything

454
00:22:56,440 --> 00:23:00,240
Speaker 1: like that, so we didn't have a way to age

455
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 1: with our emotions like most of you know, most of

456
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 1: us like had the TV be our third parent or

457
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:10,680
Speaker 1: something like that, or second parents, so we had we

458
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 1: just had no real method to process. And I started

459
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 1: realizing that when after I graduated college was like I

460
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 1: don't even know, Like all I could, all I knew

461
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:24,000
Speaker 1: was to run, right, was to run and ignore, and

462
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,360
Speaker 1: if I wanted to feel better, I had to face it.

463
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:30,399
Speaker 1: But I think it was just a mixture of like

464
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 1: dealing with the sadness and anxiety that I grew up

465
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,639
Speaker 1: with and sort of was imprinted upon by dealing with

466
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 1: just being a poor immigrant in the United States, like

467
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 1: I was born in Ecuador, came to the United States

468
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 1: with my family when I was four years old, and

469
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:47,120
Speaker 1: we went through, you know, serious poverty when we were

470
00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:50,960
Speaker 1: growing up in Boston, and seeing the struggle of my

471
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:53,240
Speaker 1: mom and dad trying to figure it out every month

472
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,560
Speaker 1: every month, like how to pay the rent, how to

473
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:58,479
Speaker 1: get food in the fridge, and just like you know,

474
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:02,200
Speaker 1: seek after these fundamentals of life. Like I saw all

475
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,439
Speaker 1: of that, I saw that struggle, and to me, it's like,

476
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,439
Speaker 1: of course, like it makes total sense, Like this is

477
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:09,720
Speaker 1: where all this anxiety was born from. But then it

478
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:12,800
Speaker 1: just kept accumulating, kept accumulating over time. And when you

479
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,240
Speaker 1: have no tool to process, what else is it going

480
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,280
Speaker 1: to do. It's going to just keep snowballing and growing.

481
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:19,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, snowballing and growing.

482
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 3: The first ten day retreat put us in your shoes there.

483
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was.

484
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 1: It was hard, like you know, like I said before,

485
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:36,600
Speaker 1: I before that ten day course, I was practicing, you know,

486
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 1: without a meditation technique, just like challenging myself to sit

487
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:44,000
Speaker 1: with my emotions for five ten minutes. But now when

488
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:47,000
Speaker 1: I'm actually in the retreat, like you know, we're doing

489
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,440
Speaker 1: a much it's a it's a real meditation, a much

490
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 1: deeper sort of like first hand experience of whatever is

491
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,639
Speaker 1: a rising and passing away inside of your you know,

492
00:24:56,680 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 1: your being, and we do that, you know, ten eleven

493
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:04,199
Speaker 1: hours a day. So to me, I was just like

494
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:08,199
Speaker 1: one it was. It felt so difficult, and I was

495
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:11,359
Speaker 1: totally doing the bare minimum, you know, like just not

496
00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:14,119
Speaker 1: not meditating the full ten eleven hours that first course.

497
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:18,399
Speaker 1: And I kept looking at the guy who who I

498
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:21,159
Speaker 1: got a ride with, and I would see him and

499
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:24,000
Speaker 1: now kind of just I was kind of trying to

500
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 1: get a sense of like is he gonna leave? Is

501
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 1: he gonna stay? Because if he's gonna leave, I'm gonna

502
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,120
Speaker 1: try to hit your ride back with him. Because this

503
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,840
Speaker 1: was the time before uber and there was no like

504
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,160
Speaker 1: and we were in the middle of nowhere, Washington State,

505
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,560
Speaker 1: you know, this this little town called called on, Alaska,

506
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,240
Speaker 1: And I remember when we drove there, there was nothing

507
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 1: on the way there. And I've been to that center

508
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 1: again before, like you know, I think like five years ago,

509
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:52,639
Speaker 1: I went back to that center and did another a longer,

510
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,359
Speaker 1: twenty day course there, and I drove to that place

511
00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:59,400
Speaker 1: from different directions and there's there's just nothing to get there.

512
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 1: And if it had if it had been a different time,

513
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:05,880
Speaker 1: if it had been like five years later, I think

514
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 1: I probably would have just gotten an uber and left.

515
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,880
Speaker 1: And I'm really fortunate that there was no real way.

516
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,639
Speaker 1: And I was also I didn't have any money back then,

517
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 1: so it wasn't like I was going to pay for

518
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:18,160
Speaker 1: a train or you know, or take a really expensive

519
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 1: cab or something like that. So I think, like, I'm

520
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 1: really fortunate the way things worked out that I had to.

521
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 1: I had no other choice but to just be there.

522
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:29,399
Speaker 1: And just face it. But once I realized that this

523
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,119
Speaker 1: guy who I got a ride with wasn't going anywhere,

524
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,399
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I'm here, you know, I'm I'm

525
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 1: so I took the last few days of the course

526
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 1: really seriously started meditating more, and when I got back

527
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 1: to Portland, Oregon, where I was staying at the time,

528
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 1: I was surprised. I remember walking back and like going

529
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:50,879
Speaker 1: back because I was staying at a farm, and I

530
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,719
Speaker 1: was like back on the farm, and I was like, whoa,

531
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,560
Speaker 1: Like my mind, I've never felt my mind like this before.

532
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 1: Like it feels like my mind has space, like it

533
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 1: isn't pressed with like you know, anxiety or something that

534
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,119
Speaker 1: it wants to grab onto. Like I'm able to like

535
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,159
Speaker 1: look at a tree and it almost felt like I

536
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 1: could see more leaves in a tree than I could before.

537
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:15,119
Speaker 1: And it just felt so new and so balanced, and

538
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,880
Speaker 1: I was like, whoa, whatever happened. I actually don't really

539
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:21,040
Speaker 1: fully understand how the meditation worked, but let me go

540
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,439
Speaker 1: back and get a bigger dose of what I just

541
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,320
Speaker 1: got because I need more. Yeah.

542
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:30,240
Speaker 3: And it's so interesting hearing you describe this so beautifully

543
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 3: and with so many examples, because for someone who doesn't

544
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 3: have a meditation practice or has never felt this way,

545
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 3: it may be really hard to sympathize with it. And

546
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 3: what I'm hearing you say is you came out of

547
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:48,119
Speaker 3: this experience and you truly felt less of a sense

548
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 3: of urgency, which is something that we all struggle with.

549
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 3: I can say confidently, right, and for better or for worse,

550
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 3: that happened for you, just like the pandemic honestly happened

551
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:01,879
Speaker 3: for so many of us, to also discover what it

552
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 3: felt like when there was less of a sense of urgency.

553
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:09,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, I totally. I mean it's interesting too, because I

554
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:13,119
Speaker 1: credit so the book that I wrote, Clarity Connection, a

555
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:16,479
Speaker 1: lot of that. I was finishing the manuscript when the

556
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:21,479
Speaker 1: pandemic first started, and that moment where my wife and

557
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:25,400
Speaker 1: I were like in our tiny apartment. So we lived

558
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,240
Speaker 1: in New York City for seven years. The first half

559
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:30,480
Speaker 1: we lived in Crown Heights, and then the second half

560
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 1: we lived in the North Bronx and we had this

561
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,680
Speaker 1: like tiny little apartment, one bedroom apartment, and it was

562
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 1: the two of us there for the first you know,

563
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 1: like first three four months, and in that space we

564
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:46,800
Speaker 1: started realizing that there were a lot of things about

565
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 1: our relationship that were sort of going under the rug

566
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 1: that we weren't quite quite dealing with, that we had

567
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 1: to talk about, that we had to not only like

568
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:59,360
Speaker 1: sort of forgive each other for past mistakes, but we

569
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:03,200
Speaker 1: also had to build better structures on how we communicate

570
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 1: and how we get along. And I'm really like, I mean,

571
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 1: the pandemic was incredibly difficult. Like I lost family members.

572
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 1: It was a tough, tough moment, But I'm also grateful

573
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:17,479
Speaker 1: that I think because of what happens, my wife and

574
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:19,840
Speaker 1: I were able to take our relationship to a new

575
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 1: level and just learn how to be together better and

576
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 1: how to love each other better, because it just revealed

577
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 1: everything that was wrong.

578
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, for so many, for so many, and thanks for

579
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 3: sharing that. I think there are I know there are

580
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 3: many people listening to this right now that may feel

581
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 3: as though they are in a similar situation and don't

582
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:43,120
Speaker 3: even know how to approach conversations that would yield a

583
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:48,120
Speaker 3: similar result. So for that person, how do you start

584
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 3: getting to a place with your partner where you can

585
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 3: have vulnerable, honest conversations that you don't feel like you

586
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 3: need to run from.

587
00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think there's a few key things. One is

588
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 1: understanding that dishonesty always creates distance, and that's either dishonesty

589
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 1: between you and yourself. That means you're literally creating space

590
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 1: between you and yourself, and that means your sense of

591
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 1: awareness and your like total truth, you know, you're not

592
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 1: accepting it, and acceptance is that sort of medium that

593
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 1: closes that distance. And when you really understand that that

594
00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 1: distance is something that you can create within you and yourself,

595
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 1: you also start seeing that that's a distance that you

596
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:37,680
Speaker 1: can create between you and your partner. And when you're

597
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:41,280
Speaker 1: both being dishonest about things, you're just creating so much

598
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:43,800
Speaker 1: space between the two of you that you can actually

599
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 1: come closer and be a more sort of genuine unit together.

600
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 1: And I think it's it's difficult because sometimes when you

601
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 1: do start telling each other the truth compassionately about you know,

602
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:58,840
Speaker 1: whatever it was that you were sort of caring inside

603
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:01,479
Speaker 1: of you, it's going to be hard, Like it's going

604
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:03,840
Speaker 1: to be hard to overcome that and be able to

605
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:07,600
Speaker 1: either do that work of forgiveness and letting go or

606
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 1: figuring out a new system, because you know, whatever the

607
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 1: truth may be that you need to put forward, you know,

608
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:15,520
Speaker 1: who knows how the other person is going to receive it.

609
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:18,280
Speaker 1: But as long as you're trying, it's like worth trying

610
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,479
Speaker 1: to tell the truth to each other in that manner

611
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 1: because it's ultimately going to bring you closer together. And

612
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 1: the other side of things that I really recommend to

613
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 1: people is that you want to check in often, you know,

614
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 1: and I'm talking at least on a daily basis, sometimes

615
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 1: two times a day, about where your emotions are, because

616
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:41,720
Speaker 1: that's probably one of the most beautiful gifts that my

617
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:43,239
Speaker 1: wife and I have been able to give to each

618
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 1: other is simply more information. Because we'll wake up in

619
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 1: the morning, and sometimes we wake up and one of

620
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:54,560
Speaker 1: us will feel down or heavy or like or you know,

621
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 1: a little tired from the previous day. And so quickly

622
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 1: that feeling that you have, if it's untended, and if

623
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 1: it remains unaware, it can start developing a narrative. And

624
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:10,280
Speaker 1: the mind really does not like to accept responsibility for

625
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:13,160
Speaker 1: whatever it's feeling, so it will take whatever you're feeling

626
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:15,800
Speaker 1: and start making it the other person's fault. It'll like

627
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 1: try to find a way to make it the other

628
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:20,760
Speaker 1: person's fault. So when you check in about your emotions

629
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, this is how I'm feeling right now.

630
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 1: You let yourself know how you're feeling, You let your

631
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 1: partner know how you're feeling. You both have that extra

632
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 1: information and then you can act on it in a

633
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 1: way where you can better support each other. And I

634
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 1: think the miracle and not the miracle, but you know,

635
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:40,000
Speaker 1: the wonder of like of being able to tell each

636
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 1: other this extra information is that it really does stop

637
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 1: unnecessary arguments from happening, because the mind loves to play

638
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:52,000
Speaker 1: these games where it's like feeling a particular emotion and

639
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,080
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden it's like, well, this isn't

640
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:56,440
Speaker 1: my fault, this has to be your fault. Like and

641
00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 1: when you just own it and you realize you know,

642
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:02,400
Speaker 1: this is just another path changing emotion, it's much easier

643
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 1: to just let it go without it causing any trouble.

644
00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:09,640
Speaker 3: Ah.

645
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 2: The mid Roll.

646
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:12,760
Speaker 3: The mid Roll a beautiful place for me to talk

647
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:15,880
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648
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:20,840
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649
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:23,720
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650
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651
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652
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653
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654
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655
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656
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657
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:49,240
Speaker 3: marathon training cycle, but I literally just shook.

658
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 2: Up a bottle.

659
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 3: It's sitting next to me here at my desk with

660
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 3: my favorite flavor inside. It's watermelon, and I am drinking

661
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 3: one of these a day at least. That's because when

662
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,120
Speaker 3: we get the right a line, extra lights in the

663
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:04,880
Speaker 3: proper ratios, it's a little nerdy, but then the cells

664
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 3: of our brain and body they can function optimally, and

665
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:09,840
Speaker 3: that is what I am after.

666
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:11,520
Speaker 2: They've got a ton of flavors.

667
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Speaker 3: I mentioned Watermelon's my favorite, but they've also got citrus, orange, raspberry, grapefruit,

668
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:20,440
Speaker 3: mango chili, which makes a mean margarita. You heard it

669
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:24,080
Speaker 3: here first, a different sip for every taste. And of course,

670
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677
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678
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:51,960
Speaker 3: if you haven't done so yet, head on over to

679
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 3: wherever you are listening to this podcast, whether it be

680
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:58,879
Speaker 3: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, tune in, you name it and leave

681
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,839
Speaker 3: a review, leave review and leave a reading and tell

682
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,319
Speaker 3: the people why you love Hurdle and what keeps you

683
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:05,160
Speaker 3: coming back for more.

684
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:06,320
Speaker 2: Not only does.

685
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 3: Your feedback mean the world to me, but it also

686
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:11,440
Speaker 3: helps in all of the crazy podcast rankings and whatnot.

687
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 3: So do that do some good for me today? I

688
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:16,840
Speaker 3: love you for showing up for me. You're the best.

689
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 3: And with that, let's get back to this episode. Whether

690
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 3: or not you have a partner, let's talk about self

691
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:35,720
Speaker 3: for a second. How do we get to a place

692
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:41,120
Speaker 3: where we can regularly choose to be more kind to ourselves?

693
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 1: Oh, that's a good question. I think it has to

694
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,680
Speaker 1: do a lot with acceptance to me.

695
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:47,280
Speaker 4: Self.

696
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:50,880
Speaker 1: Love is like, it's not consumerism, right, It's not like

697
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:55,320
Speaker 1: you buying yourself things that you haven't gotten yourself before.

698
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:58,239
Speaker 1: It's more so it's an energy that you use to

699
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 1: try to know and heal yourself. But that aspect of

700
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:04,560
Speaker 1: knowing and healing yourself, it's not going to work unless

701
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:09,759
Speaker 1: you come into it with self acceptance. And when you're

702
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:12,919
Speaker 1: able to get to know your own emotional history, get

703
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:16,680
Speaker 1: to know you know the sort of your ebbs and flows,

704
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:18,719
Speaker 1: and accept the way you move through the day and

705
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 1: simultaneously accept the history that's affecting your day to day,

706
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:26,399
Speaker 1: you start developing a sense of compassion, and I think

707
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:29,800
Speaker 1: from that compassion comes this kindness that you start treating

708
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 1: yourself because you know, you're like, I can't be one

709
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:34,800
Speaker 1: hundred percent every day, I can't be like I can't

710
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:38,040
Speaker 1: always say the right thing, I can't always like you know,

711
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:42,160
Speaker 1: put my best best creativity forward, or you know, when

712
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:45,319
Speaker 1: you start realizing that there it's natural to have ups

713
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 1: and downs, you can treat yourself with so much more

714
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 1: kindness and you'll notice that the downs they are not

715
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 1: going to be as like hard or as long as before,

716
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:58,120
Speaker 1: because you're just like as opposed to throwing tension onto

717
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 1: the down moment and worrying and more anxiety to it

718
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 1: and being like, well, how long is this going to last?

719
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:04,240
Speaker 4: Is going to be forever?

720
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 1: You're just like, oh, it's just, you know, another moment

721
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 1: that's changing, and it passes by more quickly.

722
00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:12,239
Speaker 3: And you talked about the profound hurdle moment that you

723
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 3: had back in college when you really started to turn

724
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 3: your life around. So is that what you noticed as

725
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:21,839
Speaker 3: other difficult moments would continue to arise for you as

726
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,800
Speaker 3: you continued on in your journey, that they felt more

727
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:26,880
Speaker 3: like something that you were able to handle.

728
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 4: Yeah.

729
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:31,000
Speaker 1: I think I learned over time. I mean in the

730
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,880
Speaker 1: beginning it was incredibly difficult because I just had no

731
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 1: practice of even spending time with my emotions. But as

732
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:41,239
Speaker 1: time moved forward and I was able to, you know,

733
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 1: build that quality and that habit of sort of checking

734
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:48,080
Speaker 1: in with you know, whatever I was feeling, it helped

735
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:50,799
Speaker 1: a lot. So now I feel like, even when I

736
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,920
Speaker 1: think about my emotions, I don't think about myself like

737
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:57,399
Speaker 1: as I am sad or like you know I am

738
00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 1: you know, whatever emotion it could be. It's more like

739
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:03,239
Speaker 1: sadness is moving through me, or like you know this,

740
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:06,640
Speaker 1: or like tension is here for a moment, and it's

741
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 1: more so like I'm losing the identification with it, and

742
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:11,839
Speaker 1: I'm feeling it, you know, honoring whatever's there. But it's

743
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,200
Speaker 1: just like it's just another thing that's moving through.

744
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:18,840
Speaker 3: That is really powerful because that's exemplifying the difference between

745
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 3: fact versus feeling. Right, It's like I can sit here

746
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:24,000
Speaker 3: and I can say to you, I have brown hair,

747
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:26,920
Speaker 3: and I can also say to you, I am sad,

748
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:30,680
Speaker 3: but I am not permanently sad. I will permanently have

749
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:32,640
Speaker 3: brown hair. I'm never going to have blonde hair. I'll

750
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:35,720
Speaker 3: tell you that right now. So there is a difference

751
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:38,399
Speaker 3: between those two things. And for some especially when that

752
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:43,759
Speaker 3: feeling feels so grand, feel so large, feel so overwhelming,

753
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 3: it's hard to distinguish between the two totally.

754
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:50,279
Speaker 1: Because I think that's like the nature of the mind

755
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:54,240
Speaker 1: is like we love stories and will love them even

756
00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 1: if they're like bad for us, because like it's really

757
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:58,759
Speaker 1: easy for us to get attached, Like we don't just

758
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:01,200
Speaker 1: get attached to the things that we crave, we also

759
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 1: get attached to the things we hate, and we spend

760
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:05,960
Speaker 1: so much time. So if it's like a story that

761
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:09,560
Speaker 1: you know, we're not good, we're not worthy, like you know,

762
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:13,280
Speaker 1: I'm bad. Then, Like we'll sometimes cling to these stories

763
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:16,360
Speaker 1: and we'll keep augmenting them and adding to them. But

764
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 1: really it's like you made it.

765
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:18,719
Speaker 4: You know.

766
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:20,719
Speaker 1: If you made a mistake, you made a mistake. Or

767
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:22,520
Speaker 1: if you did something great, you did something great. But

768
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:24,919
Speaker 1: like every moment is just not going to be the same.

769
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,200
Speaker 1: They're going to keep changing because that's just the law

770
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:28,920
Speaker 1: of the universe. Everything is impermanent.

771
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:34,879
Speaker 3: You talked about how the pandemic changed your relationship with

772
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 3: your wife for the better. Arguably, it also dramatically impacted

773
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:41,480
Speaker 3: your career. So many more people finding you and your

774
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:43,520
Speaker 3: writing during this time.

775
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,319
Speaker 2: Talk to me about what that was like for you.

776
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 2: What was it like for you.

777
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:52,040
Speaker 3: When more and more eyes started reading your work and

778
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:55,640
Speaker 3: your words and looking to you for a little bit

779
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 3: of solace.

780
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:01,840
Speaker 1: You know, I mean it got to a point where,

781
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:05,440
Speaker 1: I mean, I remember when the pandemic like first first started,

782
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 1: right like we all were just so confused, like we

783
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:09,920
Speaker 1: didn't know what was going to happen. We thought we

784
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:11,880
Speaker 1: were going to go you know, there was going to

785
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:15,400
Speaker 1: be no work for like two three weeks, and then

786
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:18,280
Speaker 1: it just kept dragging out, dragging out longer and longer

787
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:21,600
Speaker 1: and It was interesting because I remember the first two

788
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 1: months of the pandemic that like March and April twenty twenty,

789
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 1: everything on the internet just slowed down, and rightfully, so,

790
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:32,880
Speaker 1: I mean I remember because I was Were you in

791
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 1: New York during that first wave?

792
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm actually living quite close to where you used

793
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:37,839
Speaker 3: to live right now.

794
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:41,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, So that first wave, I mean that that was

795
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 1: intense because that was like I think the number is

796
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:46,960
Speaker 1: like somewhere around like twenty thousand people died in the

797
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 1: city in like two months.

798
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:48,680
Speaker 4: It was wild.

799
00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:51,719
Speaker 1: And it was also like like microlocated. I don't even

800
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:53,560
Speaker 1: know what the right term is, but it was like

801
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:56,280
Speaker 1: really in the city and in a few other cities

802
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:57,600
Speaker 1: and not in the rest of the country.

803
00:40:57,800 --> 00:40:59,680
Speaker 2: Hyper local hyper local.

804
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:05,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, So it was like a strange sort of

805
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 1: moment where like we're really experiencing it and a lot

806
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 1: of other parts of the country in the world are

807
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:15,000
Speaker 1: not quite experiencing it yet, and so people are like

808
00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:18,279
Speaker 1: kind of online kind of not nobody's really liking things

809
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,279
Speaker 1: as much as before because we're all kind of just

810
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:25,080
Speaker 1: like confused about what's happening. And I remember personally just

811
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:28,640
Speaker 1: being concerned because I, you know, I had friends who

812
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 1: were in the hospital, like friends who were like so

813
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:34,239
Speaker 1: sick in bed they couldn't move for a week, and

814
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 1: or there were people who knew that. You know, it

815
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:40,960
Speaker 1: almost felt like everybody knew somebody who was like either

816
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 1: in the hospital or had passed away. And so in

817
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 1: that moment, it was like, let's just move slowly. You know,

818
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:48,920
Speaker 1: I'm not even going to be worried about this like

819
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 1: Instagram thing or whatever's going on. It's like, it's just

820
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:54,080
Speaker 1: what's most immediate and let me, you know, tend to

821
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:55,879
Speaker 1: my relationship with me and my wife and then see

822
00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 1: what happens.

823
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:59,120
Speaker 4: But as things sort of settled.

824
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:02,360
Speaker 1: Down and then became you know, May, May, June, July,

825
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 1: that's when things really took off. Was like, because we

826
00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 1: knew we were like in this quiet zone. I think

827
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:11,440
Speaker 1: a lot of people started thinking about their relationships, thinking

828
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 1: about like how, you know, looking for different tips that

829
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 1: they wanted in terms of self improvement, because like, not

830
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:19,640
Speaker 1: everybody was in a relationship. Some people were just like

831
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,440
Speaker 1: in their apartment alone with a small circle of friends,

832
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 1: and you had no other choice but to face yourself,

833
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,160
Speaker 1: you know. So I think that was one of the

834
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 1: reasons why people were just like looking for different things

835
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:35,920
Speaker 1: to try to put into practice or different things to

836
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 1: reflect on. And it's been an interesting ride ever since.

837
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:43,280
Speaker 1: Like things really you know, grew a lot during that time,

838
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 1: and I think the numbers have gotten to the point

839
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:50,080
Speaker 1: where they're almost unimaginable, right, Like I don't know what

840
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:54,279
Speaker 1: like two point seven million people look like. Right, there's

841
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:56,720
Speaker 1: just no way my mind can even try to wrap,

842
00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:58,920
Speaker 1: like honestly try to wrap its mind around it, Like

843
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:03,360
Speaker 1: there's limitations that and so to me, I feel like

844
00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:07,800
Speaker 1: I don't I can't quite measure the impact that I'm having,

845
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:10,480
Speaker 1: Like I really don't know. I can hear from stories

846
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:14,800
Speaker 1: and whatnot from different people or if like my friends

847
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 1: know somebody that likes my work and then they tell

848
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 1: me a story. And it wasn't until I went back

849
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:23,040
Speaker 1: to one of my first conferences after the pandemic, you know,

850
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 1: I was doing a talk and I ended up speaking

851
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:27,240
Speaker 1: to one woman who wanted me to sign her books.

852
00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:30,600
Speaker 1: And she told me that, like, you know, she had

853
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:32,560
Speaker 1: all three of my books and she was like, you know,

854
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:35,000
Speaker 1: she was like you saved my life, and she was

855
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 1: telling me her story, and I like I almost felt

856
00:43:39,239 --> 00:43:40,920
Speaker 1: like in a really positive way, like a deer in

857
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:44,240
Speaker 1: the headlights. Like I'm just like, I'm taking in her story,

858
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:47,720
Speaker 1: and I think during that whole time when we were alone,

859
00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 1: like I really you know, I see the numbers, but

860
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:52,719
Speaker 1: I don't know what the numbers mean. And there are comments,

861
00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:55,040
Speaker 1: but you know, you check the comments sometimes, but not

862
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:57,440
Speaker 1: all the time because that's also very you know, exhausting.

863
00:43:57,480 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 1: So I'm trying to watch out for my own mental

864
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:02,160
Speaker 1: health when I'm you know, sharing things online. But getting

865
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:04,680
Speaker 1: to meet an individual and hear her story and what

866
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 1: she went through and how these books helped her, I

867
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:10,160
Speaker 1: was just like I couldn't even believe it, you know,

868
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:12,799
Speaker 1: it just kind of shook me awake and was like, wow,

869
00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:16,800
Speaker 1: this is like it's really affecting people. So I'm trying

870
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:20,000
Speaker 1: my best to you know, to just one be grateful

871
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,120
Speaker 1: that I can even help, and then try my best

872
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:22,880
Speaker 1: to serve people.

873
00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:23,080
Speaker 4: Well.

874
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:24,320
Speaker 2: It's really beautiful.

875
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:27,279
Speaker 3: It's so special that we have each of us the opportunity,

876
00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:30,080
Speaker 3: whether you have two point seven million people trying to

877
00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:32,600
Speaker 3: keep up with you or just your family and friends,

878
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:35,399
Speaker 3: right like, each of us have that opportunity to make

879
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:38,440
Speaker 3: an impact on someone else, and especially in today's digital age,

880
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:42,759
Speaker 3: you truly never know who is watching and who you

881
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 3: are impacting. I would be remiss if I didn't flip

882
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:50,719
Speaker 3: this question and ask you who impacts you?

883
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:56,239
Speaker 1: Oh, that's I mean, my number one influence is definitely

884
00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:01,040
Speaker 1: my wife. Like I think I'm learning from her every day,

885
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:02,920
Speaker 1: sometimes more than what I want to be learning.

886
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:05,200
Speaker 4: It's just like, you know, so like we just.

887
00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:09,280
Speaker 1: Get that like positive feedback and also like it's clear

888
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,640
Speaker 1: like how far we've come and how much I need

889
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 1: to work on or But I'm so grateful to the

890
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:17,080
Speaker 1: I don't know the wisdom that she, like, because she

891
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:19,600
Speaker 1: is a really serious meditator too, the wisdom that she's

892
00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:25,640
Speaker 1: putting out there. And I am also really influenced by.

893
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:29,680
Speaker 1: There's this teacher in this Vipositan tradition, Barry Lapping, who

894
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:32,240
Speaker 1: he's been meditating for like fifty years. He's like seventy

895
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 1: I think seventy five or seventy six now, And I

896
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:37,840
Speaker 1: mean this guy has been meditating so much, like started

897
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:39,920
Speaker 1: around the same time that I started, Like I think

898
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:42,120
Speaker 1: he was in his early twenties. He's someone that I

899
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:45,600
Speaker 1: bring my questions to and I'm always like just so

900
00:45:45,719 --> 00:45:49,480
Speaker 1: impressed by how unstressed out. He is like he like

901
00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:53,440
Speaker 1: you know, is helping a ton helping a ton of people,

902
00:45:53,719 --> 00:45:56,080
Speaker 1: you know, working a bunch, but just does it all

903
00:45:56,160 --> 00:46:02,360
Speaker 1: so calmly and so peacefully, and he's so unafraid of change.

904
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:05,080
Speaker 1: And it's like, I don't know, I take a lot

905
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:06,440
Speaker 1: of inspiration from him.

906
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:10,360
Speaker 3: And the best way that you know how to someone

907
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:14,240
Speaker 3: who may not have any true understanding of how someone

908
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:17,279
Speaker 3: sits down to meditate for the amount of time that

909
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:22,200
Speaker 3: you do, can you explain, albeit briefly, what that period

910
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 3: of time actually entails for you?

911
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:28,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, so one I think the best explanation is

912
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 1: probably like when you go to these silent ten day courses,

913
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 1: you spend the first three days being aware of the

914
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:40,799
Speaker 1: breath and it's called anapana, and you're just, you know,

915
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:43,880
Speaker 1: aware of the breath in a way where it comes

916
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:49,759
Speaker 1: and concentrates the mind, and that calming and concentrating of

917
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:52,440
Speaker 1: the mind sort of prepares you to be then able

918
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:55,840
Speaker 1: to really observe the body, because we're all aware of

919
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:58,279
Speaker 1: our body put to certain degrees. When we're able to

920
00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:02,120
Speaker 1: really calm and constant the mind, you're able to feel

921
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:05,840
Speaker 1: your sensations in a much more like vibrant and crisp level,

922
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 1: and the last seven days of the retreat, you're you know,

923
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:14,120
Speaker 1: being aware of the sensations on the body and within

924
00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:16,520
Speaker 1: the framework of the body. When you're being aware of

925
00:47:16,560 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 1: it like that, you start learning more about the truth

926
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:22,920
Speaker 1: of impermanence. And so that's what you do during the

927
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:25,160
Speaker 1: silent ten day courses, and when I meditate at home,

928
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:28,640
Speaker 1: it's just that same sort of direct observation of impermanence.

929
00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:31,360
Speaker 1: You're just you know, feeling the sensations on the body

930
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:35,759
Speaker 1: and understanding how everything is always changing. And that's you know,

931
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:39,000
Speaker 1: the sky level view of the technique. And of course

932
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 1: when you get there, there's like it takes those actual

933
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:45,320
Speaker 1: ten days to learn how to be able to practice well,

934
00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:48,680
Speaker 1: and because you not only have to learn the technique,

935
00:47:48,719 --> 00:47:50,800
Speaker 1: but you have to develop the qualities of the mind

936
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 1: during that ten day so that you can actually feel,

937
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:56,879
Speaker 1: you know, what's happening in the body, because it's there's

938
00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:58,600
Speaker 1: so much more, I mean, to the point where you

939
00:47:58,640 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 1: can you know, feel how everything is changing literally like

940
00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:07,719
Speaker 1: at a microscopic level, which is totally possible if the

941
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:08,560
Speaker 1: mind is enhanced.

942
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:11,279
Speaker 3: If the mind is enhanced, I firmly believe there's no

943
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:14,520
Speaker 3: such thing as a dumb question. So I've got to

944
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,719
Speaker 3: inquire whether or not there's a timer for something like this.

945
00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:20,480
Speaker 2: How do you know when the process.

946
00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 4: Is done totally? The iPhone will let you know.

947
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:28,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I said the timer for an hour, and then

948
00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:30,160
Speaker 1: when it dings, yeah, it's done.

949
00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:31,200
Speaker 2: On to the next thing.

950
00:48:31,239 --> 00:48:35,160
Speaker 3: Do you ever get to that ding and you crave

951
00:48:35,239 --> 00:48:36,359
Speaker 3: or require more time?

952
00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:40,400
Speaker 4: Yeah? Sometimes for sure. And it all depends, you know.

953
00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:42,879
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm on the go and it's like, you'll get

954
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 1: more time when you get more time, But other times,

955
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:48,000
Speaker 1: if you need more time, then yeah, I'll be fortunate

956
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:48,880
Speaker 1: enough to keep sitting.

957
00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:53,640
Speaker 3: What would you say right now, knowing that this practice

958
00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:57,120
Speaker 3: prepares you for even greater challenges ahead.

959
00:48:57,680 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 2: Are your current biggest challenges?

960
00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:06,799
Speaker 1: My current biggest challenges are I think time management and

961
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:09,839
Speaker 1: is it really time or is it energy? It's more

962
00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:13,360
Speaker 1: like energy management. It's like trying to figure out where

963
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 1: I want my energy to go to because I'm really

964
00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:20,960
Speaker 1: enjoying being an author in writing books, but I'm also

965
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:24,920
Speaker 1: like the past two years, myself and five other friends,

966
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:29,400
Speaker 1: we built this venture capital company that is really focused

967
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:32,520
Speaker 1: on trying to invest in companies that are sort of

968
00:49:32,520 --> 00:49:37,400
Speaker 1: building that next generation of Internet platforms that are intentionally

969
00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:41,520
Speaker 1: built in a compassionate manner, that are trying their best

970
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 1: to create whatever products they're creating, but with the well

971
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:47,600
Speaker 1: being of the user in mind. So to me, that's

972
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 1: been like a whole world that I've been opened up

973
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:53,000
Speaker 1: to and have really been enjoyed because I feel like,

974
00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:54,840
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, we've been using the Internet for

975
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:58,680
Speaker 1: so long, but it can be better, and we need

976
00:49:58,719 --> 00:50:02,480
Speaker 1: to you know, keep developing platforms in a direction that

977
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:07,360
Speaker 1: just are not increasing loneliness or not making people more depressed,

978
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:10,920
Speaker 1: that are still giving people the services or fun that

979
00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:13,759
Speaker 1: they're looking forward, but not in a way that's like

980
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:17,880
Speaker 1: inducing anxiety or hurting people's minds. So I'm pretty excited

981
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:20,000
Speaker 1: to be, you know, jumping into this work. But at

982
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:23,120
Speaker 1: the same time, like balancing that with writing and everything

983
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:25,840
Speaker 1: has been like a you know, a learning.

984
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:28,560
Speaker 3: Curve, a proper multi hyphen it. What a twenty twenty

985
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:31,560
Speaker 3: three answer. I'm passionate about meditation. I really love to

986
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:34,759
Speaker 3: help people find their personal betterment, and I'm also interested

987
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:36,080
Speaker 3: in venture capitalism.

988
00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:42,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, the other day I was I was talking to

989
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:44,880
Speaker 1: someone and they were like, why are you a poet

990
00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:46,200
Speaker 1: with a venture capital company.

991
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:48,480
Speaker 4: I was like, I don't know, because I'm trying to help, like.

992
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:55,640
Speaker 2: I'd do something with this money. Shoot, oh man, that's great.

993
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:56,760
Speaker 2: That's truly great.

994
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:59,280
Speaker 3: You know something I ask everyone that comes on the show,

995
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:02,120
Speaker 3: and especially relevant to our conversation because we did talk

996
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:06,160
Speaker 3: about your sizable following. People come to your Instagram feed

997
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:09,000
Speaker 3: and they see a person that is not only a

998
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:12,600
Speaker 3: New York Times bestselling author, but also someone who really

999
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:14,839
Speaker 3: does understand so much of the work that we're all

1000
00:51:14,840 --> 00:51:19,200
Speaker 3: trying to do every day toward you know, better self belief,

1001
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:24,399
Speaker 3: personal betterment, and developing clear, healthy boundaries and relationships. When

1002
00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:26,920
Speaker 3: you look in the mirror, diego, what is it that

1003
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:28,279
Speaker 3: you see looking back at you?

1004
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 1: Oh, I see someone who's really doing their utmost to

1005
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:40,120
Speaker 1: embrace the truth of impermanence. I feel like, like, I

1006
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:43,440
Speaker 1: know that I struggle when I don't embrace in permanence.

1007
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 1: If I develop a combative relationship with impermanence, then life

1008
00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:50,759
Speaker 1: hurts right. That means I'm too attached to how things are.

1009
00:51:51,239 --> 00:51:55,440
Speaker 1: So I do my utmost to try to embrace impermanence.

1010
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:58,839
Speaker 1: Understand that everything's always changing, understand that there's always ups

1011
00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:01,200
Speaker 1: and downs, and I feel like when I do embrace

1012
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:04,480
Speaker 1: some permanence, I can more easily flow with things as

1013
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:05,920
Speaker 1: opposed to getting tossed around.

1014
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:08,080
Speaker 3: I want to talk a little bit about this concept

1015
00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:11,799
Speaker 3: of lingering in discomfort, or choosing a life or a

1016
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:14,360
Speaker 3: way that we know might not be serving us, but

1017
00:52:14,440 --> 00:52:17,160
Speaker 3: we feel crippled to get out of. That is a

1018
00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:19,960
Speaker 3: concept that I know there are people listening to this

1019
00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:22,040
Speaker 3: right now and they're nodding their head and they're thinking

1020
00:52:22,120 --> 00:52:25,360
Speaker 3: about perhaps an exercise routine that doesn't serve them, or

1021
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:28,800
Speaker 3: alack thereof relationship that they're in, a job, et cetera.

1022
00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:32,440
Speaker 3: So when someone feels as though they are stuck within

1023
00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:35,520
Speaker 3: this hurtle moment and capable of getting out, do you

1024
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:38,640
Speaker 3: have any advice or suggestions of the first place to begin.

1025
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:43,080
Speaker 1: I think the first place to begin is your intuition.

1026
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:45,799
Speaker 1: Is like I think oftentimes we will linger in that

1027
00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:50,360
Speaker 1: zone right when we are not sure what our next

1028
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:52,000
Speaker 1: move is going to be. I think for a lot

1029
00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:56,279
Speaker 1: of people, life is so tricky and difficult that, like,

1030
00:52:56,520 --> 00:52:58,440
Speaker 1: especially if you're trying to move from one job to another,

1031
00:52:58,640 --> 00:53:00,359
Speaker 1: like you still have to pay your rent, so you're

1032
00:53:00,360 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 1: not just going to bounce from that job and get

1033
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:04,680
Speaker 1: you know, and not have work for a while because

1034
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:06,840
Speaker 1: you might not be able to afford that. So I

1035
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:09,200
Speaker 1: think a lot of times we have to check in

1036
00:53:09,239 --> 00:53:13,400
Speaker 1: with our intuition because our intuition, I think it's often

1037
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:16,640
Speaker 1: geared towards major events in life where it's like trying

1038
00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:19,120
Speaker 1: to push you outside of your comfort zone so you

1039
00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:22,440
Speaker 1: keep sort of expanding in the ways that you need to.

1040
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:26,920
Speaker 1: And like I look back to when my intuition was

1041
00:53:26,920 --> 00:53:30,040
Speaker 1: telling me to write, I didn't listen to it for

1042
00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 1: like a year, and I was just, you know, doing

1043
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:35,279
Speaker 1: a job that I sort of half liked, and I

1044
00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:39,480
Speaker 1: kept doing it, but I knew that this wasn't like

1045
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:42,319
Speaker 1: what I wanted to continue doing. But it took me

1046
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:46,920
Speaker 1: time to be able to not only clearly feel what

1047
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:49,400
Speaker 1: my intuition was telling me to do, but also to

1048
00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:52,719
Speaker 1: just gather the courage to get it done. So I

1049
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:55,440
Speaker 1: feel like that's my number one advice is like, your

1050
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:57,799
Speaker 1: intuition will never ask you to harm yourself or harm

1051
00:53:57,840 --> 00:54:00,640
Speaker 1: others or other people, but it we'll ask you to

1052
00:54:00,680 --> 00:54:03,960
Speaker 1: step outside your comfort zone. And your intuition is not

1053
00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:06,279
Speaker 1: your craving, right, it's not like, oh, I want more

1054
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:07,960
Speaker 1: ice cream or I want more of this, and that

1055
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:10,800
Speaker 1: it's going to try to give you a bigger message

1056
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:13,960
Speaker 1: as to what's the next move. So then the other

1057
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:15,640
Speaker 1: part is like, are you bold enough to listen?

1058
00:54:16,040 --> 00:54:17,920
Speaker 2: Yeah? Well, are you bold enough to listen?

1059
00:54:18,040 --> 00:54:20,319
Speaker 3: Is really the difficult part, right, I mean, I like

1060
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:23,200
Speaker 3: in this or think about this. For myself, getting out

1061
00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:26,839
Speaker 3: of an emotionally abusive relationship and staying in the relationship,

1062
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:32,400
Speaker 3: albeit awful and hard and difficult, it was familiar territory

1063
00:54:32,719 --> 00:54:35,960
Speaker 3: and finding the strength to get out of that relationship.

1064
00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:38,879
Speaker 3: It took courage, and it took that bravery that we're

1065
00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:41,319
Speaker 3: talking about, right, And it's not until you get on

1066
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:44,120
Speaker 3: the other side of it and you have that hindsight

1067
00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:46,279
Speaker 3: that you're able to say, just like we were talking

1068
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:48,160
Speaker 3: about about the strength that we gain from going through

1069
00:54:48,160 --> 00:54:50,960
Speaker 3: these difficult moments, and that the next time it's easier

1070
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:53,600
Speaker 3: to handle, and the next time after that it's even easier. Right,

1071
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:56,279
Speaker 3: not to downplay the severity or the difficult like the

1072
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:58,400
Speaker 3: difficult nature that goes hand in hand with dealing with

1073
00:54:58,440 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 3: some of these obstacles in our lives.

1074
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:02,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's challenging for sure.

1075
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:05,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you for sharing that too, because I feel

1076
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:08,759
Speaker 1: like it's so like getting out of a relationship like that.

1077
00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:11,080
Speaker 1: You know, I can't even imagine how it was for you.

1078
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:13,839
Speaker 1: But I feel like it's so important to share even

1079
00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:16,759
Speaker 1: the little tidbits of our stories because, like you were

1080
00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:20,560
Speaker 1: saying earlier, like we have no idea who we're going

1081
00:55:20,640 --> 00:55:22,120
Speaker 1: to help. And that's why I tell people, I'm like,

1082
00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:25,120
Speaker 1: this is the best time ever to get your message

1083
00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:27,439
Speaker 1: out there in whatever way possible. If you want to write,

1084
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:29,040
Speaker 1: if you want to start a podcast, if you want

1085
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:31,480
Speaker 1: to do whatever, just do it because you don't even

1086
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:33,200
Speaker 1: know who you're going to help, Like you don't know.

1087
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:36,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I also think that right now what we're

1088
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:39,000
Speaker 3: seeing especially, I mean I was laughing last week looking

1089
00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:41,120
Speaker 3: at I believe I forget the exact number. It might

1090
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:43,799
Speaker 3: have been, like thirty creators or whatever the spotlight was

1091
00:55:43,840 --> 00:55:46,600
Speaker 3: that Forbes was doing, and it's like a year or

1092
00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:49,480
Speaker 3: two years ago, these people had completely different jobs and

1093
00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:52,839
Speaker 3: now they're on a top list of Forbes Creators, each

1094
00:55:52,880 --> 00:55:55,920
Speaker 3: of them making over four million dollars. And it's like

1095
00:55:56,239 --> 00:55:58,960
Speaker 3: that's because one day they decided to share.

1096
00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:01,960
Speaker 2: Their story, their person, their view with the world.

1097
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:04,120
Speaker 3: And some people liked it and some people didn't, but

1098
00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:06,359
Speaker 3: it didn't matter because they were doing something with it.

1099
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:09,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I was thinking just the other day when

1100
00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:12,720
Speaker 1: I was in the car driving back from Boston because

1101
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:16,240
Speaker 1: my wife and I live in the middle of western Massachusetts,

1102
00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:20,840
Speaker 1: and I was realizing I was like, if everybody wanted

1103
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:23,879
Speaker 1: to please everyone and wanted everyone to have a good

1104
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:27,400
Speaker 1: idea of like who they were, you know, like have

1105
00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:31,960
Speaker 1: a positive image of who they are in their mind, like,

1106
00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:34,960
Speaker 1: nobody would ever be able to take a step forward, right,

1107
00:56:35,040 --> 00:56:37,279
Speaker 1: because like someone, there's always going to be someone out

1108
00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:40,120
Speaker 1: there who disagrees, and that's fine, right, It's good. I

1109
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:45,680
Speaker 1: feel like it's an important character development quality that we

1110
00:56:45,719 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 1: all need to build where we can look at something

1111
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:50,839
Speaker 1: and be like, oh, that's not for me without hating it,

1112
00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:53,120
Speaker 1: and it's like, oh right, that's you know, and then

1113
00:56:53,239 --> 00:56:55,000
Speaker 1: they just move on and move on to the things

1114
00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:58,240
Speaker 1: that they do like. But that shouldn't stop us from

1115
00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:00,879
Speaker 1: creating things, because like, you know, you'll find your niche,

1116
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:03,360
Speaker 1: you'll find your base, and then some people may not

1117
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:05,000
Speaker 1: dig it, but a lot of people will.

1118
00:57:05,040 --> 00:57:05,879
Speaker 2: A lot of people will.

1119
00:57:06,120 --> 00:57:08,520
Speaker 3: You'll find your thing, You'll find your base what would

1120
00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:10,960
Speaker 3: you say is your favorite thing about the base that

1121
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:12,080
Speaker 3: you've built thus far.

1122
00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:14,840
Speaker 1: I mean my favorite thing is that they inspire the

1123
00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:18,960
Speaker 1: heck out of me. Like you know, like when I see,

1124
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:21,520
Speaker 1: like whenever I do do events, which is really rare,

1125
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:25,960
Speaker 1: like I'll do maybe like five events a year, I

1126
00:57:26,040 --> 00:57:27,040
Speaker 1: go out there and I'm.

1127
00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:27,600
Speaker 4: Like, whoa.

1128
00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:31,120
Speaker 1: There are people who are like actively trying to heal themselves.

1129
00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:34,440
Speaker 1: And I love hearing the stories that people will tell

1130
00:57:34,480 --> 00:57:36,880
Speaker 1: me about the different techniques that they use, too, because

1131
00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:40,800
Speaker 1: like it's important to realize, like just because one thing

1132
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:42,240
Speaker 1: works for me, it doesn't mean it's going to work

1133
00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:45,200
Speaker 1: for everybody else. People need their own different modalities that

1134
00:57:45,280 --> 00:57:48,640
Speaker 1: meets their minds where they are. But just hearing different

1135
00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:53,120
Speaker 1: people's stories and seeing, you know, the case studies of

1136
00:57:53,240 --> 00:57:55,880
Speaker 1: like I was once like this and I'm not perfect,

1137
00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:58,840
Speaker 1: but now I'm like this, I'm like, that's amazing that

1138
00:57:58,840 --> 00:58:01,080
Speaker 1: that's a huge step forward. Not only did you change

1139
00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:03,560
Speaker 1: your life, but you're actually changing the lives of the

1140
00:58:03,600 --> 00:58:08,200
Speaker 1: people around you because you're a kinder, gentler human being

1141
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:11,640
Speaker 1: and you're no longer like a point of harm, right,

1142
00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:15,640
Speaker 1: because there are sometimes where there's like a giant web

1143
00:58:15,680 --> 00:58:19,160
Speaker 1: of humanity. And when we don't know how to process

1144
00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:22,240
Speaker 1: our own pain, we're just repeating our pain and then

1145
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:24,880
Speaker 1: handing it to other people who are near us. And

1146
00:58:25,480 --> 00:58:29,440
Speaker 1: when people are healing themselves, transforming themselves, they're no longer

1147
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:31,400
Speaker 1: a point of pain. It's not like their life is

1148
00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:34,840
Speaker 1: going to be perfect. But if something does happen to

1149
00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:37,800
Speaker 1: them that is difficult, they know how to process it

1150
00:58:38,120 --> 00:58:42,120
Speaker 1: within themselves without handing it over to somebody else. And

1151
00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:44,440
Speaker 1: I think that's to me, that's beautiful, Like that's how

1152
00:58:44,440 --> 00:58:45,440
Speaker 1: we build a better world.

1153
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:46,120
Speaker 2: I've got to know.

1154
00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:49,440
Speaker 3: You mentioned the individual that you speak to about your

1155
00:58:49,480 --> 00:58:53,440
Speaker 3: personal practice, but beyond that, do you have anyone else

1156
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:55,800
Speaker 3: that you speak to about what's going on in your life?

1157
00:58:55,840 --> 00:58:59,360
Speaker 3: Do you personally seek out therapy or business coaching or

1158
00:58:59,400 --> 00:58:59,960
Speaker 3: life coaching?

1159
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:01,640
Speaker 2: Who's in your gurup to a box?

1160
00:59:01,960 --> 00:59:03,080
Speaker 4: Oh that's a good question.

1161
00:59:03,840 --> 00:59:07,680
Speaker 1: No, I've never taken therapy because meditating has been like

1162
00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:09,800
Speaker 1: such a you know, it's like really kept my hands

1163
00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:12,160
Speaker 1: fulls and my hands full, and I've been learning so

1164
00:59:12,240 --> 00:59:12,840
Speaker 1: much from it.

1165
00:59:14,920 --> 00:59:16,280
Speaker 4: I think there.

1166
00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:19,360
Speaker 1: Are people like business people that I go to who

1167
00:59:19,440 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 1: just know a lot more than I do. So I'm

1168
00:59:22,320 --> 00:59:25,360
Speaker 1: really grateful to my friend who's also a general partner

1169
00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:27,080
Speaker 1: wid ad Venture as a company that I was just

1170
00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:30,600
Speaker 1: mentioning Bradley Horowitz, who he was a VP at Google

1171
00:59:30,680 --> 00:59:33,040
Speaker 1: for a long time and he led the team that

1172
00:59:33,160 --> 00:59:35,640
Speaker 1: developed Gmail and helped build a lot of the products

1173
00:59:35,680 --> 00:59:39,040
Speaker 1: that we use every day. So whenever I'm like trying

1174
00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:42,720
Speaker 1: to do something or don't understand something, I'm usually like, hey, Bradley, like,

1175
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:43,320
Speaker 1: what's happened?

1176
00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:45,800
Speaker 3: I cannot imagine having the creator of Gmail like on

1177
00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:46,600
Speaker 3: my speed dial.

1178
00:59:47,640 --> 00:59:50,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, this person in my toolbox.

1179
00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:51,040
Speaker 4: I know.

1180
00:59:51,080 --> 00:59:53,760
Speaker 1: And it's it's interesting because they understand things on a

1181
00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:56,080
Speaker 1: whole other level and like we you know, it's one

1182
00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:57,920
Speaker 1: thing to be able to use these products, but to

1183
00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:01,120
Speaker 1: think about how much goes into the design of them.

1184
01:00:02,200 --> 01:00:05,600
Speaker 1: But whenever I'm trying to understand the economy or trying

1185
01:00:05,600 --> 01:00:07,840
Speaker 1: to understand, you know, like how how could we help

1186
01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:11,080
Speaker 1: this particular business, Like they're so wise, And when it

1187
01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:13,400
Speaker 1: comes to those things and the business world, to me,

1188
01:00:13,440 --> 01:00:15,560
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, you can meditate a ton and

1189
01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:18,280
Speaker 1: it can hone your intuition and make you peaceful, but

1190
01:00:18,440 --> 01:00:20,720
Speaker 1: like you still got to learn, and when it comes

1191
01:00:20,760 --> 01:00:22,320
Speaker 1: to business, you still have to learn from someone who

1192
01:00:22,320 --> 01:00:22,800
Speaker 1: knows a lot.

1193
01:00:23,320 --> 01:00:23,840
Speaker 2: Very true.

1194
01:00:24,120 --> 01:00:27,040
Speaker 3: Speaking of learning from someone that knows a lot, what

1195
01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:31,560
Speaker 3: is it that you hope that your audience is walking

1196
01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:33,280
Speaker 3: away with when they're learning from you?

1197
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:37,680
Speaker 1: I'm hoping that people. One the main main message is

1198
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:39,840
Speaker 1: always the same one as when I first started, was

1199
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:42,920
Speaker 1: that healing as possible. I think that's like message number one.

1200
01:00:43,520 --> 01:00:46,360
Speaker 1: Number two is that there are tools out there for you,

1201
01:00:46,640 --> 01:00:49,840
Speaker 1: and sometimes that means doing a little bit of the

1202
01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:53,440
Speaker 1: like spiritual buffet where you have to like try different

1203
01:00:53,480 --> 01:00:55,960
Speaker 1: things and try different modalities until you kind of hit

1204
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:58,000
Speaker 1: the one that you're like, oh, I like this one,

1205
01:00:58,040 --> 01:00:59,760
Speaker 1: this one's really going to work for me. And that

1206
01:00:59,800 --> 01:01:01,560
Speaker 1: could be like what we've been talking about, like a

1207
01:01:01,560 --> 01:01:03,840
Speaker 1: wide range of things. But when you find the thing

1208
01:01:03,880 --> 01:01:05,880
Speaker 1: that works for you, you just got to dig deep

1209
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:08,000
Speaker 1: and just you know, keep hitting at it. And usually

1210
01:01:08,080 --> 01:01:11,800
Speaker 1: the thing that works for you is something that is challenging, right,

1211
01:01:12,120 --> 01:01:16,040
Speaker 1: but not overwhelming, And when you find that sweet spot,

1212
01:01:16,160 --> 01:01:19,680
Speaker 1: then you just keep moving forward. And I think that

1213
01:01:19,920 --> 01:01:22,000
Speaker 1: was like one of the sort of main messages in

1214
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:25,080
Speaker 1: the Way Forward in my new book, because like the

1215
01:01:25,120 --> 01:01:27,560
Speaker 1: world is going to keep changing, but if you're able

1216
01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:30,800
Speaker 1: to be connected with your intuition. If you're able to

1217
01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:34,160
Speaker 1: understand your own values and keep them simple, it'll help

1218
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:37,760
Speaker 1: you as everything keeps transforming inside and inside of you

1219
01:01:37,840 --> 01:01:38,440
Speaker 1: and around you.

1220
01:01:38,840 --> 01:01:40,080
Speaker 2: Keep them simple.

1221
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:44,200
Speaker 3: Right now, diego, you have an opportunity to offer yourself

1222
01:01:44,280 --> 01:01:47,240
Speaker 3: a piece of advice. Looking back on that difficult hurdle

1223
01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:51,600
Speaker 3: moment in college, knowing what you know, now, what do

1224
01:01:52,040 --> 01:01:52,920
Speaker 3: you tell yourself?

1225
01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:58,120
Speaker 1: I tell myself that that I definitely have the strength

1226
01:01:58,680 --> 01:02:04,600
Speaker 1: to rebuild my life and put myself into a better trajectory.

1227
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:07,840
Speaker 1: I think I was like doubtful in the beginning, like

1228
01:02:07,880 --> 01:02:09,920
Speaker 1: I didn't know if I was able to, if I

1229
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:12,320
Speaker 1: was going to be able to recuperate, to be able to,

1230
01:02:13,080 --> 01:02:16,240
Speaker 1: you know, just change things around. And if I could

1231
01:02:16,240 --> 01:02:19,080
Speaker 1: tell myself that you do have the strength to get

1232
01:02:19,080 --> 01:02:22,040
Speaker 1: this done, the determination, and that let it be a

1233
01:02:22,040 --> 01:02:25,600
Speaker 1: gradual process. It's not like everything's better in a year

1234
01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:28,440
Speaker 1: or two years. It's literally been a long game, like

1235
01:02:28,520 --> 01:02:32,240
Speaker 1: a long like eleven years. And I think, you know,

1236
01:02:32,600 --> 01:02:35,000
Speaker 1: let the process be what it is. But I think

1237
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:36,320
Speaker 1: it's definitely possible.

1238
01:02:36,880 --> 01:02:39,160
Speaker 3: Let it be what it is. And that doubt also

1239
01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:43,959
Speaker 3: so understandable and relatable. Right at the cusp of any

1240
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:46,520
Speaker 3: big change, it's almost inevitable.

1241
01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:49,680
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and I think it's totally natural. But I

1242
01:02:49,720 --> 01:02:51,920
Speaker 1: feel like, how do you combat the doubt? You combat

1243
01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:54,400
Speaker 1: the doubt by looking at what are the actual results.

1244
01:02:54,720 --> 01:02:57,400
Speaker 1: And if you're trying to measure yourself from today to yesterday,

1245
01:02:57,680 --> 01:02:59,640
Speaker 1: of course the picture is not going to be that pretty.

1246
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:03,520
Speaker 1: If you measure yourself from when you began to where

1247
01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:06,840
Speaker 1: you are now, which could be weeks or months, then

1248
01:03:06,880 --> 01:03:09,400
Speaker 1: you get a better picture of how far you have come,

1249
01:03:09,760 --> 01:03:12,560
Speaker 1: because it's a very different thing between looking at yourself

1250
01:03:12,560 --> 01:03:15,640
Speaker 1: from a micro perspective to a macro perspective.

1251
01:03:16,080 --> 01:03:17,360
Speaker 2: For sure, Well do you go.

1252
01:03:17,480 --> 01:03:20,640
Speaker 3: I'm so so so happy that we were able to

1253
01:03:20,720 --> 01:03:22,800
Speaker 3: sit down and have this conversation for those of you

1254
01:03:22,880 --> 01:03:25,480
Speaker 3: that don't yet follow you, and I feel like there

1255
01:03:25,480 --> 01:03:28,320
Speaker 3: aren't many listening to this show, but give us your info,

1256
01:03:28,520 --> 01:03:29,440
Speaker 3: tell us how to keep up.

1257
01:03:30,400 --> 01:03:30,760
Speaker 4: Thank you.

1258
01:03:32,160 --> 01:03:35,480
Speaker 1: So the best place to hang out I'm really enjoying.

1259
01:03:35,480 --> 01:03:38,920
Speaker 1: Substack Subsec is my jam right now, so Young Pueblo

1260
01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:41,680
Speaker 1: dot substack dot com if you want to read my

1261
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:45,960
Speaker 1: new longer writings or to just like stay connected. I

1262
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:48,720
Speaker 1: also have a private member's only chat room there, which

1263
01:03:48,760 --> 01:03:53,200
Speaker 1: is really cool. The other place is obviously Instagram young

1264
01:03:53,240 --> 01:03:56,840
Speaker 1: Pueblo with an underscore in the middle, and you can

1265
01:03:56,880 --> 01:03:58,800
Speaker 1: also find my books and bookstores everywhere.

1266
01:03:59,120 --> 01:04:03,160
Speaker 3: Bookstores every where, the newest one out now, I'm gonna

1267
01:04:03,160 --> 01:04:05,240
Speaker 3: link it in the show notes. I'm over at Emia

1268
01:04:05,320 --> 01:04:09,320
Speaker 3: Body and at Hurdle Podcast. Another Hurdle conquered. Catch you

1269
01:04:09,320 --> 01:04:10,000
Speaker 3: guys next time.