WEBVTT - #17 Skye 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:03.680 High podcast friends. As regular listeners know, I try to 0:00:03.720 --> 0:00:07.440 run a family friendlish podcast, but because it's integral to 0:00:07.480 --> 0:00:10.480 the plot. In this episode of Heavyweight, we dropped the 0:00:10.600 --> 0:00:14.600 F bomb and unprecedented nine times. If they were giving 0:00:14.600 --> 0:00:19.160 out peabodies for swearing, maybe i'd get one. Also, as 0:00:19.200 --> 0:00:22.279 long as I'm giving advisories, I also pronounced the word 0:00:22.360 --> 0:00:30.680 garage as garage. I encourage you to listen anyway. Hello, 0:00:31.080 --> 0:00:33.760 did you get a message from me a couple months ago? 0:00:36.040 --> 0:00:38.680 A phone message was on your birthday. I was wishing 0:00:38.680 --> 0:00:43.920 you a happy birthday. It's possible I didn't hear anything back, 0:00:44.000 --> 0:00:47.960 so I was concerned. Yes, when someone leaves your message 0:00:48.000 --> 0:00:50.919 on your birthday, you have no obligation to return that message. 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:54.200 But that's it. Oh my gosh, it would have been 0:00:54.280 --> 0:00:56.800 nice to get. I'm not saying a thank you card. 0:00:56.960 --> 0:00:57.880 But you know, if I. 0:00:57.800 --> 0:00:59.720 Was under no obligation, why are you now giving me 0:01:00.040 --> 0:01:01.600 rushes as to how I should have responded. 0:01:01.800 --> 0:01:04.839 Some things in life aren't obligatory, but we just do them, 0:01:04.880 --> 0:01:05.479 you know what I mean? 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:08.039 Absolutely, like picking up the phone when I just saw that. 0:01:08.040 --> 0:01:18.720 You called me exactly like, hey, wait a minute. From 0:01:18.800 --> 0:01:24.560 Gimblet Media I'm Jonathan Goldstein, and this is Heavyweight. Today's 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:40.440 episode Sky Sky and her son Clark ever ritual, Well, 0:01:40.480 --> 0:01:43.000 I don't know about you. Every night, after his teeth 0:01:43.040 --> 0:01:45.880 are brushed and he's all tucked in, right before Clark 0:01:45.920 --> 0:01:48.640 goes to sleep, Sky sits down on the edge of 0:01:48.680 --> 0:01:50.320 his bed and they talk. 0:01:51.000 --> 0:01:55.080 What was your favorite part of that movie? Probably like 0:01:55.200 --> 0:01:58.240 the end was a good end. The helicopter scene was good. 0:01:58.400 --> 0:02:02.639 Clark's eleven. Naturally, there's a lot of discussion about comic 0:02:02.680 --> 0:02:03.720 books and movies. 0:02:04.240 --> 0:02:06.440 I don't think it was a movie. You know, the 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:08.799 original Jumanji was not funny. 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:11.919 But there's something about the stillness of nighttime that also 0:02:12.000 --> 0:02:14.120 frees Clark up to speak in a way that he 0:02:14.160 --> 0:02:17.800 doesn't normally. Not only does he tell Sky about what 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:20.760 he's watching and reading, he tells her about his feelings. 0:02:21.480 --> 0:02:25.840 He shares stories about what's going on at school, and 0:02:25.919 --> 0:02:30.520 Sky shares stories too, stories from her childhood. Some stories 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:34.120 she tells just to entertain Clark, but other stories she 0:02:34.200 --> 0:02:41.040 tells to impart a lesson. There's one story in particular 0:02:41.200 --> 0:02:44.040 she's told Clark over and over again throughout the years, 0:02:44.600 --> 0:02:48.840 and lately it's been coming up a lot recently. Sky 0:02:48.919 --> 0:02:49.840 told me the story. 0:02:50.680 --> 0:02:54.160 So the story, in a way, the story starts when 0:02:54.520 --> 0:02:55.240 I moved. 0:02:55.360 --> 0:02:58.240 When she was eleven years old, Sky was best friends 0:02:58.280 --> 0:03:01.880 with a group of four girls. They wore a spree sweatshirts, 0:03:01.880 --> 0:03:05.040 and watched love Boat on the weekends. They were the 0:03:05.080 --> 0:03:06.000 popular girls. 0:03:06.480 --> 0:03:09.320 That was sort of the vibe of that group was like, 0:03:09.440 --> 0:03:12.920 we're exclusive and we're kind of the shit. Yeah, you 0:03:12.919 --> 0:03:14.600 know how like in high school they have you know, 0:03:14.720 --> 0:03:18.120 most beautiful and most popular, and all of those. We 0:03:18.240 --> 0:03:22.000 decided to make our own book of you know, awarding 0:03:22.080 --> 0:03:29.240 people various prizes. We gave me best Eyes, and I 0:03:29.320 --> 0:03:32.480 remember sort of having this pride in that. 0:03:33.600 --> 0:03:37.200 They spent all the fifth grade together. Then summer came 0:03:37.760 --> 0:03:40.640 and with it long days filled with lazy bike rides 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:44.360 and trips to the candy shop. But early one summer morning, 0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:47.280 Sky woke up to find her yard had been teepeed 0:03:47.800 --> 0:03:50.560 covered in toilet paper and there was more. 0:03:51.360 --> 0:03:56.000 Someone had written fuck you on our garage door. And 0:03:56.960 --> 0:03:59.600 we had a double garage, and so fuck was on 0:03:59.600 --> 0:04:01.800 one you was on the other, and they were written 0:04:02.640 --> 0:04:08.560 in large white letters on our brown garage. 0:04:08.680 --> 0:04:12.000 Sky's mom had seen the vandals make their getaway. The 0:04:12.040 --> 0:04:15.680 words fuck you had been written by none other than 0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:17.640 Sky's for best friends. 0:04:18.880 --> 0:04:20.240 And they had been written in paint. 0:04:21.560 --> 0:04:23.200 I wish they had done it was something that had 0:04:23.240 --> 0:04:26.280 come off, because I do remember this feeling of like 0:04:26.960 --> 0:04:30.640 being driven home day after day and seeing those words 0:04:30.640 --> 0:04:35.560 on the garage door. Teeping someone's house is one thing, 0:04:35.560 --> 0:04:38.839 it's sort of a common prank, but the fact that 0:04:38.839 --> 0:04:41.440 they wrote fuck you, that felt to me like it 0:04:41.520 --> 0:04:45.279 really came from anger. And they had to have brought 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:46.920 the paint, you know. There had to have been some 0:04:47.640 --> 0:04:48.680 thought put into this. 0:04:50.600 --> 0:04:53.520 Why had they done it? What were they angry about? 0:04:54.560 --> 0:05:03.119 Sky had no idea. Did you ever see those girls again? 0:05:03.720 --> 0:05:03.920 Well? 0:05:03.960 --> 0:05:05.480 I saw them again, for sure. 0:05:06.000 --> 0:05:09.280 We all funneled into this junior high school that fall, 0:05:09.720 --> 0:05:13.000 and I think that I just avoided them. I never 0:05:13.640 --> 0:05:19.120 ever said a word to any of the four girls ever. Again, 0:05:20.120 --> 0:05:22.880 I pretended it never happened. 0:05:24.279 --> 0:05:27.000 And when Sky tells Clark this story, here's where she 0:05:27.040 --> 0:05:31.320 delivers the moral. Awful things do happen, but in the 0:05:31.480 --> 0:05:36.120 end everything turns out fine. Sky grew up, got married, 0:05:36.480 --> 0:05:38.880 has a job she likes, and a family she loves. 0:05:39.640 --> 0:05:43.640 Her story, she tells him, has a happy ending in 0:05:43.680 --> 0:05:46.520 the past. When he's heard this story, Clark's taken his 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:49.840 mom's lesson at face value. But Clark is now the 0:05:49.880 --> 0:05:52.360 same age Sky was when her friends turned on her. 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:55.440 He's starting to see his own classmates leave old friends 0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:59.000 behind for the more popular crowd. For the first time, 0:05:59.200 --> 0:06:01.400 He's able to image what it would be like if 0:06:01.400 --> 0:06:04.240 his own small group of friends suddenly cast him out, 0:06:04.760 --> 0:06:07.279 stopped coming over to his house to play video games, 0:06:07.640 --> 0:06:12.080 stop speaking to them altogether. So Sky's moral that everyone 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:16.760 lives happily ever after is starting to feel untrue, and 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:20.559 so Clark has a question for his mother, why didn't 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:23.920 she ever confront her friends about what they did? Why 0:06:23.960 --> 0:06:29.520 not then? But also he asks Sky, why not now? 0:06:33.320 --> 0:06:36.599 Like did they do it for themselves or because of you? 0:06:37.920 --> 0:06:41.080 Or was it because of something you did or something? 0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:45.040 Clark brings up Sky's story during their bedtime ritual, asking 0:06:45.080 --> 0:06:49.840 for details, weighing the injustice, fantasizing about Sky looking up 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:53.360 her old friends and confronting them with some questions. 0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:56.960 I think you can't be like the person that you 0:06:57.080 --> 0:06:59.680 normally are, where you're like tim and little. 0:06:59.440 --> 0:07:02.680 Mommy funny that you think of me as timid Mommy, 0:07:02.760 --> 0:07:03.839 that's very interesting. 0:07:04.240 --> 0:07:07.039 Yeah, well, I have like a lot of occasions to 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:13.200 prove that your New Year's resolution was to say no 0:07:13.760 --> 0:07:17.320 more often. That was your resolution because you were too 0:07:17.400 --> 0:07:19.200 timid to say no. 0:07:19.080 --> 0:07:20.360 To people before that. 0:07:20.560 --> 0:07:23.320 Well, I like to think that it's less about me 0:07:23.400 --> 0:07:26.160 being timid and more about me being a can do 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:27.320 kind of person. 0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:35.679 There it is right there. At school functions, Clark watches 0:07:35.720 --> 0:07:38.640 his mom try to accommodate the other parents and get 0:07:38.680 --> 0:07:42.520 steamrolled in the process. In restaurants, he sees his mom 0:07:42.600 --> 0:07:45.400 settled for the wrong meal rather than bother the waiter. 0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:49.480 For once, he wants Guy to stop worrying about everyone 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:52.520 else's feelings. He wants her to focus on herself. 0:07:53.040 --> 0:07:57.200 I would really love to know, like why it's important 0:07:57.200 --> 0:07:57.400 to you. 0:07:58.520 --> 0:08:02.480 It's basically for me, are like my mom avenging. Those 0:08:02.640 --> 0:08:07.400 people just wanted you to kind of like get your avenge, 0:08:08.280 --> 0:08:13.200 my revenge, avenge yourself. Sorry I'm using the wrong word. 0:08:13.360 --> 0:08:16.240 You gotta be like you did this and do you 0:08:16.320 --> 0:08:24.240 remember why it happened, and say sorry to me, he said. 0:08:24.000 --> 0:08:27.320 At the end, Mom, You've got to figure this out. 0:08:27.520 --> 0:08:30.600 You've got to go for it. You have to have 0:08:30.640 --> 0:08:34.240 a chance to find out why this happened. 0:08:39.120 --> 0:08:41.880 It's not just Clark who feels this way. There's someone 0:08:41.880 --> 0:08:44.800 else who also wonders why this happened and has always 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:55.040 wished Sky had had the chance to ask. Is this Rachel? 0:08:55.720 --> 0:08:59.560 This is Skuy's mom, Rachel, the only eyewitnessed what happened 0:08:59.559 --> 0:09:02.720 that night, and the person talking to her while chewing 0:09:02.720 --> 0:09:05.480 a hunk of munster cheese and hollow bread because his 0:09:05.640 --> 0:09:08.360 boss Alex thinks taking lunch breaks is more of a 0:09:08.400 --> 0:09:10.560 BizOps thing, is me? 0:09:12.559 --> 0:09:15.160 I got out of my chair and I stood at 0:09:15.160 --> 0:09:21.400 the window and pulled back the drape, and I see 0:09:21.679 --> 0:09:24.440 their bikes sort of going off into the night. 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:29.640 The night the girl showed up around two or three 0:09:29.679 --> 0:09:32.480 in the morning, Rachel was reading in an armchair by 0:09:32.480 --> 0:09:35.280 the window. She's always up in the middle of the night. 0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:38.720 It's a habit that began in childhood. She tells me 0:09:38.800 --> 0:09:43.320 that her own mom, Sky's grandmother suffered from schizophrenia. She 0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:45.960 was unpredictable, and the middle of the night was the 0:09:46.000 --> 0:09:48.840 only time the house was ever quiet and safe. Who 0:09:48.920 --> 0:09:52.760 was during those calm nights alone that Rachel began writing poetry? 0:09:53.679 --> 0:09:57.440 And here I am all these years later, and I'm 0:09:57.440 --> 0:10:03.280 still doing it. There's something holy about the middle of 0:10:03.280 --> 0:10:09.720 the night. Nobody's hassling you, and you can really hear 0:10:09.760 --> 0:10:10.600 yourself somehow. 0:10:12.559 --> 0:10:15.000 But on the night the vandals struck, she could also 0:10:15.080 --> 0:10:19.360 hear four eleven year old girls making their getaway. When 0:10:19.400 --> 0:10:21.880 the sun came up, Rachel saw the fuck you on 0:10:21.960 --> 0:10:24.640 the garage and immediately she phoned up one of the 0:10:24.679 --> 0:10:28.040 girls and spoke with both her and her mom. Well 0:10:28.080 --> 0:10:31.600 neither denied what had happened. Nothing much came of the conversation, 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:35.680 and after that Sky begged Rachel not to make any 0:10:35.679 --> 0:10:39.760 more phone calls. The idea of confronting anyone just upset 0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:43.840 Sky Moore, so Rachel stopped calling, and after a few 0:10:43.880 --> 0:10:46.360 days things seemed to go back to normal. 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:55.280 We felt it was over, and for her it really wasn't. 0:10:57.400 --> 0:11:00.400 It really took her, being I think, grown up, for 0:11:00.520 --> 0:11:03.480 her to start saying to me, I think about this 0:11:03.559 --> 0:11:08.920 all the time, and it was shocking to me. I 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:13.200 had not understood that, and I felt dopey that I 0:11:13.240 --> 0:11:19.320 hadn't understood that, because I thought I was pretty well 0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:25.319 attuned to her and her feelings. It broke my heart. 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:36.239 She always understood how to sit in with people, completely 0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:39.719 unlike her parents. My husband, you know, was born in 0:11:39.800 --> 0:11:43.319 Finland and was a mathematician and had his PhD when 0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:46.520 he was nineteen. And I was this strange, you know, 0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:50.400 high school dropout poet. I mean, we were really odd 0:11:50.400 --> 0:11:52.880 and eccentric birds, and here was this kid who was 0:11:53.000 --> 0:11:57.679 just exquisitely normal. And to us, she's always been a wonder, 0:11:58.280 --> 0:12:02.120 you know, like, who is this very social being? This 0:12:02.320 --> 0:12:06.600 is a kid who whose first word was high and 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:10.360 who when she was small literally sat on the front 0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:14.920 step all day and said hi to every person who 0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:21.120 passed on the sidewalk, and we loved her for that. 0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:27.520 And what happened with the girls, This had the effect 0:12:27.600 --> 0:12:33.280 of making her more you know, pulling in her wings. 0:12:33.320 --> 0:12:36.600 And this is the person Clark sees today, someone who 0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:39.240 keeps her wings tucked in so tight for fear of 0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:42.080 them getting in anyone's way, that she's forgotten how to 0:12:42.120 --> 0:12:46.240 open them. Rachel knows that Clark has recently begun urging 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:49.679 his mom to be less timid, and she approves. 0:12:50.160 --> 0:12:55.720 There's something authoritative about a child they haven't had. They're 0:12:55.760 --> 0:12:58.600 not all hammered by doubts and worries about what they're 0:12:58.640 --> 0:13:01.280 saying they're like, well, why didn't you do this? 0:13:02.360 --> 0:13:06.839 You know, Rachel had asked me to call at the 0:13:06.920 --> 0:13:10.360 end of her work night. It's now seven thirty AM, 0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:13.960 close to her bedtime, so we say our goodbyes, but 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:17.640 just before putting down the phone, she offers a final benediction, 0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:19.960 as I was so beautiful. 0:13:19.559 --> 0:13:23.160 The way he wanted her to figure this out. Because 0:13:24.280 --> 0:13:27.480 she'll hear that from him in a way that she 0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:32.520 probably could never hear that from me, it has more 0:13:32.520 --> 0:13:33.840 of a chance to wake her up. 0:13:36.520 --> 0:13:39.720 And with that, Rachel heads off to bed, and I 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:43.440 turned back to Sky, who, with a little help from Clark, 0:13:44.080 --> 0:13:45.400 is still trying to wake up. 0:13:46.240 --> 0:13:50.040 He does have this sense of but that's an unfinished thing. 0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:54.560 Yeah, like the good that this good ending hasn't fully 0:13:55.240 --> 0:13:55.840 happened yet. 0:13:55.920 --> 0:14:00.400 Yeah, yeah, the good ending hasn't happened. So it's sort 0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:03.440 of turning into a different story, which is that it's 0:14:04.080 --> 0:14:09.440 kind of never too late to summon courage and do something. 0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:12.160 That scares you. 0:14:17.000 --> 0:14:19.920 I guess in a way, I want to live up 0:14:20.200 --> 0:14:23.600 to his to who I think he'd like me to be. 0:14:23.840 --> 0:14:28.960 You know, I think like I need to show him 0:14:28.960 --> 0:14:32.280 that I can stand up for myself. 0:14:40.560 --> 0:14:44.080 Thirty five years later, and Sky's finally decided she's ready. 0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:47.840 She just needs help reaching the girls and not backing 0:14:47.880 --> 0:14:51.960 down when she does. So you want to do this? 0:14:53.720 --> 0:14:56.160 I think that I want to do this. Yes, I 0:14:56.200 --> 0:14:58.920 want to do this. You know now I'll be able 0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:01.560 to say I did what I could. 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:05.920 And if you want to be able to say you 0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:09.200 did what you could to save scads of cash with 0:15:09.360 --> 0:15:13.400 some truly great deals, here's the chance you've been dreaming 0:15:13.440 --> 0:15:25.440 of your entire life. Sky and I get to work 0:15:25.480 --> 0:15:30.040 reaching out to the four girls, Sam, Nicky, Randy, and Tessa. 0:15:30.880 --> 0:15:35.040 We begin with Sam because Sky already has their contact info. 0:15:35.160 --> 0:15:37.080 They'd run into each other at their ten year high 0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:42.840 school reunion. Sky Sam had said, it's me. It would 0:15:42.840 --> 0:15:45.520 have been the perfect opportunity to ask about the fuck 0:15:45.560 --> 0:15:48.480 you on the garage door, but Sky just couldn't bring 0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:52.960 herself to mention it, so instead they made awkward small talk. 0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:58.120 And then she fronted me on Facebook, which practically made 0:15:58.160 --> 0:15:58.680 me laugh. 0:15:58.880 --> 0:15:59.760 But I. 0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:04.080 This sounds ridiculous, but I didn't want to be rude, 0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:06.640 and so I accepted her friendship. 0:16:08.560 --> 0:16:11.640 I helped Sky write a Facebook message to Sam saying 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:14.240 she has some questions about the end of their friendship, 0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:20.720 but with no response, Sky follows up again and again. Eventually, 0:16:21.200 --> 0:16:24.760 Sam writes back, we just naturally grew apart as life 0:16:24.800 --> 0:16:29.320 events progressed, she says. She concludes by saying that Sky's 0:16:29.320 --> 0:16:33.480 attempts to contact her are making her feel quote overwhelmed 0:16:33.520 --> 0:16:44.520 and stressed, and that makes Sky feel bad. Second is Nicky, 0:16:44.960 --> 0:16:48.280 who says that even though Skuy's mom clearly remembers her 0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:52.560 being there that day, she absolutely wasn't. In fact, she says, 0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:57.520 she and Sky weren't even that close. Third comes Randy. 0:16:58.200 --> 0:17:00.320 Randy's hard to get a hold of so when we 0:17:00.320 --> 0:17:02.680 get no answer on her house phone, we try all 0:17:02.680 --> 0:17:06.000 the numbers we can find. We leave her repeated messages, 0:17:06.440 --> 0:17:09.320 but it seems like she's not even getting them. But 0:17:09.400 --> 0:17:12.760 as it turns out, she's gotten all of them, because 0:17:12.760 --> 0:17:15.199 she sends Sky an email to say that she's not 0:17:15.320 --> 0:17:20.200 happy about it. In fact, she's creeped out. Sky was 0:17:20.240 --> 0:17:22.520 at the grocery store when she received the email. 0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:29.280 I was in line and I completely was out of 0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:32.000 my body as I was reading it. I so forgot 0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:34.320 where I was that someone had to say, are you 0:17:34.400 --> 0:17:34.879 in line? 0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:37.960 And I was like Uh, no, I'm not, and I. 0:17:37.960 --> 0:17:42.280 Had to push my cart away from the checkout stand 0:17:42.359 --> 0:17:45.600 because I could not focus. 0:17:46.160 --> 0:17:49.479 Sky went into damage control mode, writing back to Randy 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:52.919 to say how deeply sorry she was. I asked her 0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:54.119 to read me what she'd send. 0:17:55.000 --> 0:17:58.119 Randy, I'm so grateful that you wrote me back. It 0:17:58.160 --> 0:18:00.720 makes me cringe to think about how so my creepy 0:18:00.800 --> 0:18:03.280 and weird it must have seemed to get those messages. 0:18:04.560 --> 0:18:07.520 I'm kicking myself for letting that happen. I'm still hoping 0:18:07.560 --> 0:18:09.960 to talk to you privately and just explain myself. 0:18:10.480 --> 0:18:11.320 Would that be okay? 0:18:14.400 --> 0:18:17.879 Like, you know, is there a kind of like do 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:21.240 you feel like your default is to sort of apologize 0:18:21.440 --> 0:18:23.560 for having reached out? 0:18:27.359 --> 0:18:27.679 Yeah? 0:18:27.800 --> 0:18:28.960 I do. 0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:31.240 That has occurred to me. 0:18:33.240 --> 0:18:36.679 Later, Sky shares the email with Clark, and it seems 0:18:36.680 --> 0:18:38.280 like it's occurred to him as well. 0:18:38.880 --> 0:18:43.320 I think you were over apologetic if you say yourself 0:18:43.320 --> 0:18:46.480 as the kind of character was like, oh sorry, sorry, sorry, 0:18:46.480 --> 0:18:51.159 I shouldn't have done that. That automatically makes her basically. 0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:53.400 Like gives her power. Yeah, puts her in. 0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:56.560 A better spot than you're in, and that's bad. 0:18:58.600 --> 0:19:01.800 At Sky's insistence, Randy finally agrees to a phone call, 0:19:02.560 --> 0:19:05.119 but in the end, all she tells Sky is that 0:19:05.160 --> 0:19:08.639 she doesn't remember that night, doesn't remember any toilet paper 0:19:09.040 --> 0:19:18.320 or grasdoor, She doesn't remember anything at all. Of the 0:19:18.359 --> 0:19:23.040 four friends, only one remains, Tessa, the girl Sky's mom 0:19:23.160 --> 0:19:27.400 phoned directly after the incident. Over the next couple weeks, 0:19:27.600 --> 0:19:30.840 I speak with Tessa several times. She can't decide if 0:19:30.840 --> 0:19:33.760 she wants to talk with Sky. For one thing, she 0:19:33.800 --> 0:19:36.920 says it was so long ago that she doesn't remember much, 0:19:37.560 --> 0:19:41.280 to which I rejoin that she's all we've got. For another, 0:19:41.359 --> 0:19:44.560 she adds getting contacted like this through a third party 0:19:44.600 --> 0:19:49.520 interlocutionary international podcasting host is pretty weird, to which I 0:19:49.600 --> 0:19:54.639 admit that it is slightly unconventional. Finally, Tessa says she 0:19:54.680 --> 0:19:57.720 doesn't want to inadvertently drag the other girl's names through 0:19:57.720 --> 0:20:00.840 the dirt for something they did as kids, to which 0:20:00.880 --> 0:20:04.359 I say, well, let's change those names and draw some 0:20:04.440 --> 0:20:07.640 pseudonyms through the dirt. And once I agree to change 0:20:07.640 --> 0:20:11.120 the names of the four girls, Tessa, not her real name, 0:20:11.640 --> 0:20:14.800 agrees to sit down with Sky, still her real name, 0:20:15.320 --> 0:20:18.360 so she can finally have a conversation about the night 0:20:18.520 --> 0:20:23.840 in question. Both Sky and Tessa live in California, pretty 0:20:23.840 --> 0:20:26.720 close to where they grew up. I figure my presence 0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:31.080 at their meeting could be calming, helpful even All Sky 0:20:31.200 --> 0:20:33.680 has to do is invite me out there to join her. 0:20:34.560 --> 0:20:40.320 I like California, and no I love it. But because 0:20:40.359 --> 0:20:43.520 of her cursed timidity, Sky just doesn't have the lima 0:20:43.600 --> 0:20:47.840 beans to ask. So I continue to offer her prompt. 0:20:48.640 --> 0:20:49.920 I haven't been there in some time. 0:20:52.280 --> 0:20:53.480 Well, it's a lovely state. 0:20:54.520 --> 0:20:57.760 After several minutes of this elaborate dance, I get to 0:20:57.800 --> 0:21:02.040 the point, for both our sake, So does you do 0:21:02.080 --> 0:21:02.560 you think that? 0:21:02.960 --> 0:21:03.080 Uh? 0:21:04.640 --> 0:21:05.600 You think I should come? 0:21:06.840 --> 0:21:07.760 That would be amazing. 0:21:10.280 --> 0:21:14.160 And so it's off to California A for some long 0:21:14.200 --> 0:21:18.520 overdue Q and A. 0:21:18.640 --> 0:21:18.840 Hi. 0:21:20.160 --> 0:21:23.760 Good how about you guys? Hi Clark, nice to meet you. 0:21:24.960 --> 0:21:27.760 Sky picks me up at the hotel. Clark's along too, 0:21:28.200 --> 0:21:29.919 to make sure his mom doesn't lose her. 0:21:29.800 --> 0:21:32.439 Nerve Clark, you can continue to navigate for me. 0:21:33.440 --> 0:21:33.600 WI. 0:21:34.640 --> 0:21:37.840 Clark sits in the passenger seat, leafing through a comic book. 0:21:37.960 --> 0:21:39.480 All right, let me I'm just going to throw this 0:21:39.520 --> 0:21:43.160 in here if that's okay. Yeah, And then I tossed 0:21:43.160 --> 0:21:46.399 my bag into the back of the hatchback and we 0:21:46.520 --> 0:21:52.840 head off to meet Tessa. It felt great to be 0:21:52.880 --> 0:22:00.679 in San Francisco. It's just like the mom and the 0:22:00.760 --> 0:22:04.640 Papa saying if one is going to San Francisco, one 0:22:04.680 --> 0:22:08.360 should wear flowers in one's hair. As we speed down 0:22:08.400 --> 0:22:12.680 the highway, I close my eyes, lean back, and would 0:22:12.720 --> 0:22:16.040 that I had hair, enjoy the wind blowing through it. 0:22:19.080 --> 0:22:20.760 Wait, is the trunk open? 0:22:21.000 --> 0:22:24.440 Oh wow? It seems that in my excitement to hit 0:22:24.520 --> 0:22:28.159 the streets of San fran I'd left the hatchback door open, 0:22:28.960 --> 0:22:31.520 which it turns out is the source of the San 0:22:31.600 --> 0:22:36.320 Franciscan breeze. She whizz, I'm sorry about that. 0:22:36.760 --> 0:22:37.040 God. 0:22:38.359 --> 0:22:40.720 Sky finds a place on the shoulder of the highway 0:22:40.760 --> 0:22:45.240 to pull over, oh man, and shuts the trunk door 0:22:46.200 --> 0:22:51.600 of that, and with that we were back on our way. 0:22:52.840 --> 0:22:58.240 That's why they call me mister excitement. Actually, no one 0:22:58.240 --> 0:23:10.720 calls me mister excitement. San Francisco is pretty. 0:23:12.160 --> 0:23:14.399 We're not in San Francisco, you know that, right? I mean? 0:23:23.840 --> 0:23:26.600 As we drive to meet Tessa, I ask Sky how 0:23:26.640 --> 0:23:27.160 she's doing. 0:23:28.560 --> 0:23:33.200 I feel nervous sighted, which is a word. 0:23:32.960 --> 0:23:36.680 That I am when when I you use the word 0:23:36.760 --> 0:23:38.720 nervous sided Clark. 0:23:40.240 --> 0:23:44.600 Like before, like baseball games and like stuff like that. 0:23:45.200 --> 0:23:47.040 I mean, I kind of feel nervous sighted. 0:23:48.440 --> 0:23:48.760 Nervous. 0:23:48.800 --> 0:23:53.119 Sided is a portmanteau word, like the way say romance, 0:23:53.280 --> 0:23:57.720 a word denoting an incestuous relationship between brothers. Is or 0:23:58.119 --> 0:24:01.440 she lax the act of chilling out with a bar 0:24:01.600 --> 0:24:03.240 of family sized x lax. 0:24:04.800 --> 0:24:07.919 How do you feel about meeting do you want to 0:24:07.960 --> 0:24:11.199 meet her? I will resist temptations to punder over what 0:24:11.280 --> 0:24:11.640 she did. 0:24:13.320 --> 0:24:16.639 Clark is eleven years old. In the comic books he reads, 0:24:17.040 --> 0:24:21.040 that's how problems are solved with punches, kung fu chops. 0:24:21.680 --> 0:24:25.160 Writing the scales is a simpler business. It's one thing 0:24:25.200 --> 0:24:27.880 to hear stories about his mom being stepped on. It's 0:24:27.960 --> 0:24:30.080 another to be in the same room with one of 0:24:30.119 --> 0:24:33.359 the people who did the stepping. Sky tries to tamp 0:24:33.440 --> 0:24:34.840 down his need for revenge. 0:24:35.280 --> 0:24:40.680 Well, as we were talking about last night before you 0:24:40.760 --> 0:24:44.600 went to slay, you won't forgiveness. Giveness forgiveness. We need 0:24:44.640 --> 0:24:46.280 to find the forgiveness. 0:24:48.920 --> 0:24:51.440 I wanted a quiet place for Sky and tested to talk, 0:24:51.840 --> 0:24:54.200 and it turned out that on the weekends the local 0:24:54.280 --> 0:24:56.600 university had an unoccupied studio. 0:24:57.200 --> 0:24:58.720 I think we're basically here. 0:24:59.240 --> 0:25:01.480 We pull in the empty campus parking lot. 0:25:02.080 --> 0:25:03.680 Clark, you want to look and make sure I'm within 0:25:03.720 --> 0:25:05.600 the lines. There was a little lines. 0:25:05.880 --> 0:25:15.879 Okay, let's get set up. So this is where Clark 0:25:15.920 --> 0:25:18.160 and I, well, we'll sit. 0:25:19.000 --> 0:25:21.280 The studio is only big enough for Sky and Tessa, 0:25:21.760 --> 0:25:24.120 So Clark and I sit in the control booth where 0:25:24.160 --> 0:25:27.680 we'll be able to eavesdrop on the conversation. There's a mic, 0:25:27.960 --> 0:25:31.000 so should the need arise Clark and offer guidance that 0:25:31.080 --> 0:25:33.040 only Sky can hear through her headphones. 0:25:33.400 --> 0:25:35.080 I'm mom, Hi, Clark. 0:25:35.400 --> 0:25:36.520 Okay, so you turn it on. 0:25:36.680 --> 0:25:37.840 It's good to hear your voice. 0:25:38.280 --> 0:25:38.960 Can you hear me? 0:25:39.480 --> 0:25:39.760