1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,720 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:14,160 Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:19,239 Speaker 1: Today's tip is to keep small things small. Not everything 4 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,640 Speaker 1: warrants a big response. And by keeping small things small, 5 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 1: as the saying goes, you save your time and energy 6 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:29,560 Speaker 1: for things that truly do warrant your attention. You'll probably 7 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:33,120 Speaker 1: be happier too. If you're like most people, you no 8 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,960 Speaker 1: doubt find yourself annoyed when things in life aren't quite right. 9 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,559 Speaker 1: I know I do. Maybe your neighbor leaves his garbage 10 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:42,519 Speaker 1: bins on the curb for days, or maybe your workplace 11 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:47,120 Speaker 1: sends pointless email newsletters that you can't unsubscribe from. If 12 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 1: you're listening to this podcast, my guess is that you 13 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,560 Speaker 1: have high standards for yourself and you try to find 14 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 1: solutions to problems that come up in your life. That's 15 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 1: generally a good thing. Sometimes, though, our attempts to find 16 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:03,160 Speaker 1: solutions can cost more than the problems they're trying to solve. 17 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,679 Speaker 1: That's when it pays to keep small things small. The 18 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:10,160 Speaker 1: first way to keep small things small is to recognize 19 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 1: them as small things. Ask yourself, how much does this 20 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,480 Speaker 1: affect my life or the lives of the people I 21 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 1: care about. Sometimes the answer will be not much. These 22 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:26,000 Speaker 1: are occasions to practice patients. You can smile after someone 23 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 1: cuts in front of you in the line to exit 24 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: from the highway. Maybe the person is a thoughtless jerk, 25 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 1: or maybe it's a tourist in a rental car who 26 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:36,760 Speaker 1: had no idea that that's where the exit was. In 27 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,280 Speaker 1: any case, you know that you will still get to 28 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,319 Speaker 1: work on time at your high paying job, or you 29 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:47,480 Speaker 1: do challenging, meaningful work alongside clever colleagues. I mean, really, 30 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 1: what does it matter to you? If you're not sure 31 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:54,680 Speaker 1: whether you're dealing with a small thing, try what Richard Carlson, 32 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:58,320 Speaker 1: author of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, calls the time warp. 33 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 1: Imagine yourself a year from now, how much does this 34 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 1: issue matter? Most likely, you won't remember your commute two 35 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 1: days from now, let alone a year from now. Or 36 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 1: you can ask yourself whose issue is this? Anyway, it 37 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:16,239 Speaker 1: might be nice if your colleague didn't use double exclamation 38 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:19,200 Speaker 1: points and all his emails, but this hardly reflects upon 39 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:22,320 Speaker 1: you. You You might prefer that your high schooler look a 40 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,760 Speaker 1: little less like she had slept in her clothes, but 41 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:28,920 Speaker 1: again to eat her own. Psychologist Wendy Mogul, in her 42 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:32,160 Speaker 1: book The Blessing of a b Minus, encourages parents to 43 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:35,280 Speaker 1: allow themselves to appreciate their kids as they figure out 44 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:39,080 Speaker 1: who they are, even when their tastes or hobbies they 45 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 1: seem a little odd. She offers an old Hebrew prayer, 46 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 1: thank you God for varying the creatures. The next time 47 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:49,560 Speaker 1: you find yourself about to get annoyed or want to 48 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:53,000 Speaker 1: fix something that isn't actually your problem, just say to yourself, 49 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 1: what a world plenty of surprises and leave other people 50 00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:01,920 Speaker 1: to their exclamation points or odd bawl fashion. Sometimes, though, 51 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:04,080 Speaker 1: you may feel like a small thing is having an 52 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:06,960 Speaker 1: adverse effect on you or someone else, and you feel 53 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:10,640 Speaker 1: the urge to address it. Even then, a little perspective 54 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,440 Speaker 1: is wise. I find it helpful to imagine how a 55 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:17,960 Speaker 1: conversation about the issue might unfold. Suppose you have a 56 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 1: monthly conference call that consistently starts ten minutes late. You 57 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 1: faithfully log on at the scheduled time, only to spend 58 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:28,800 Speaker 1: ten minutes talking about the weather. As you think about 59 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,120 Speaker 1: bringing this up with the person who convenes the call, 60 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,800 Speaker 1: try to imagine what you would say try to imagine 61 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 1: how he might respond. Are you feeling stumped about what 62 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:41,920 Speaker 1: you might say? That doesn't sound petty about this ten 63 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: minutes every month? Or you have to talk about the weather. 64 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 1: If so, plan for the delay, come up with your 65 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:53,160 Speaker 1: best weather jokes, or just dial in late yourself. Other times, though, 66 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 1: imagining the conversation will help you figure out how to 67 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 1: keep a small thing in perspective while constructively addressing its. 68 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,720 Speaker 1: Suppose you frequently learned about special programs at your kids 69 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 1: school just a few days before you either scramble to 70 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:09,080 Speaker 1: rearrange your work schedule or your kids are disappointed when 71 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:12,000 Speaker 1: you can't be there. At first blush, you might think 72 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,720 Speaker 1: to respond to the teacher's next email with your frustration 73 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 1: about this, but that might make the teacher feel guilty 74 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,279 Speaker 1: and probably doesn't help the long term goal of a 75 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:24,960 Speaker 1: good relationship, so instead you envision another option. When you 76 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 1: have a hunch that there's an event coming up, you 77 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,520 Speaker 1: reach out to your child's teacher to ask if there's 78 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:33,560 Speaker 1: something you should anticipate. Hello, Mrs Rogers. With springbreak around 79 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,000 Speaker 1: the corner, I wondered if there might be a class party. 80 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,039 Speaker 1: I'm eager to get it on the calendar so I 81 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:41,800 Speaker 1: can arrange my schedule to attend. Hopefully that will elicit 82 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:45,039 Speaker 1: at least tentative information and maybe even nudge the teacher 83 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 1: to give a little more notice for special events in 84 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:50,840 Speaker 1: the future. You kept the small things small while still 85 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:54,440 Speaker 1: addressing an issue that was bothering you. How do you 86 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 1: manage to keep small things small in your life? You 87 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,719 Speaker 1: can let me know at Before Breakfast podcast at i 88 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 1: heeart media dot com. In the meantime, this is Laura. 89 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,880 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening and here's to making the most of 90 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:17,440 Speaker 1: our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you. 91 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:20,359 Speaker 1: You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else. 92 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:24,680 Speaker 1: Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at 93 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:30,240 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast pod. That's b the number four then Breakfast 94 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,360 Speaker 1: p o D. You can also shoot me an email 95 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:37,279 Speaker 1: at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media dot com. 96 00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:39,800 Speaker 1: That Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters. 97 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,480 Speaker 1: Thanks so much, should I look forward to staying in touch. 98 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of I Heart Radio. For 99 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 1: more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the I heart 100 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your 101 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:04,320 Speaker 1: favorite shows. I don't get