Speaker 1: My name is Alex, and I have the coolest parents
Speaker 1: in the whole world. No, no, alright, it will be
Speaker 1: alright forever, No, al right, will be all right for ever.
Speaker 1: All right, y'all. So I'm actually here with my family
Speaker 1: and Utah for the holidays. I am very, very fortunate,
Speaker 1: as I mentioned in the Christmas episode, that I do
Speaker 1: get to spend the holidays with my family, and I
Speaker 1: thought this would be the perfect time for me to
Speaker 1: actually do the episode that I've really really been wanting
Speaker 1: to do since I started this podcast. I want to
Speaker 1: introduce you to my parents, but actually, like just me
Speaker 1: tell you about them before you actually meet them. I
Speaker 1: was the only boy, so I didn't have to ever
Speaker 1: fight for like my dad's attention, or I never had
Speaker 1: to like fight for tickets to the basketball game or
Speaker 1: the football game. Um. But I got to just hang
Speaker 1: out with my sisters, and I got to really get
Speaker 1: into much with the beauty that is femininity and the
Speaker 1: beauty that is women, and I got to be a
Speaker 1: real true mama's boy. And and my sisters taught me
Speaker 1: how to talk to girls and how to dress and
Speaker 1: and uh and it was really a great setup. And
Speaker 1: and if you know me at all, You'll know that
Speaker 1: I always say that it's my favorite thing about my
Speaker 1: life is my family and my parents, including that. Um So,
Speaker 1: I thought it would be an incredible idea to have
Speaker 1: my parents on here and to talk about what it
Speaker 1: was like being their kid, and talk about what is
Speaker 1: like having them as parents, and then talking about, you know,
Speaker 1: what life is like now that I am twenty four
Speaker 1: years old and I as much as I'm still a
Speaker 1: mama's boy and I'm still the best son in the world.
Speaker 1: How like they also happened to be like my best
Speaker 1: friends in the whole world. So it got me thinking,
Speaker 1: if you could ask your parents anything, what would you
Speaker 1: ask them? What's up? Y'all? It's alex I. Oh no,
Speaker 1: this is my podcast. Let's get into it where we
Speaker 1: really talk about everything, and we don't We talk about
Speaker 1: everything regardless of who's in the room, including my old
Speaker 1: mom and dad. We're gonna have a great time today.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna paint the picture for you. So I'm at
Speaker 1: my parents house. We have Mila and Sydney and Taylor
Speaker 1: and Halle and the outside trying their best to not
Speaker 1: make noise, but with a one year old that's pretty tough.
Speaker 1: So if you hear anything coming from outside, that's what
Speaker 1: it is. But also here in this room, I've got
Speaker 1: my two favorite people on earth, and I'm going to
Speaker 1: introduce you to them now. First up, she is not
Speaker 1: only the best mom in the world, but she's also
Speaker 1: the best customer support agent at Purple Mattresses. She makes
Speaker 1: an incredible chocolate cake, and she's most likely gonna cry
Speaker 1: during this episode. My mom, Heather, I own, Oh what's up? Mom?
Speaker 1: Thanks first setting me up? And she's crying. And Uh,
Speaker 1: the man that she's been with for the last twenty
Speaker 1: nine years, twenty eight years, twenty nine years, thirty years.
Speaker 1: More than that, he is my best friend. He is
Speaker 1: my number one fan. And um, he taught me how
Speaker 1: to gamble and I won some money last time I
Speaker 1: was in Vegas thanks to that teaching. Uh, my dad,
Speaker 1: Martin Ion, know what's up? Dad? How are you all right? Son?
Speaker 1: Good to be here, and I'm glad that you had
Speaker 1: a successful weekend this weekend Vegas. So we have some
Speaker 1: We have three interesting topics to talk about. First one
Speaker 1: is New Year. Knew you in quotes again? Uh that
Speaker 1: we're gonna be talking about the big important questions. And lastly,
Speaker 1: we have an A m A which is asked Me anything,
Speaker 1: or in this case it's an A M P A,
Speaker 1: ask my parents anything. I went on Instagram and ask
Speaker 1: you guys to give us some questions that you've always
Speaker 1: maybe wanted to ask your parents or things that you
Speaker 1: were scared to ask your parents. And my parents are
Speaker 1: going to do the heavy lifting for all of us,
Speaker 1: which is great. But before we get into that, I
Speaker 1: have a question that I ask all of my guests,
Speaker 1: and that question is what are you doing this week
Speaker 1: to improve yourself? I will start this week. I've been
Speaker 1: really focusing on this something my therapist and I talked
Speaker 1: about a lot, because I think he says I have
Speaker 1: anticipatory anxiety and what I what comes with that is
Speaker 1: I always focus on what's next, or what's coming or
Speaker 1: or the future. And one of the biggest things that
Speaker 1: I've been working on, especially this week leading up to
Speaker 1: the holidays, and usually for me, there's twenty million things
Speaker 1: to do on my holiday's list, and I want to
Speaker 1: make sure I get every single one of them done. Um,
Speaker 1: but the biggest thing that I've been focusing on is
Speaker 1: doing what's right in front of me. Doing the first
Speaker 1: like what's like the next thing only and not focusing
Speaker 1: on what comes after that. So that's how I've been
Speaker 1: trying to improve my life this week. But now that
Speaker 1: you guys have an example, Mom, do you have something
Speaker 1: I do, it kind of goes a little bit along
Speaker 1: with yours. I was stressed with this week, starting with
Speaker 1: trying to get Christmas perfect. You know, it's like my
Speaker 1: favorite holiday. I want to make sure everyone is equal
Speaker 1: and fair. We have the right amount of presents. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you definitely, you always my mom. Make sure that you
Speaker 1: always have like everybody has the same amount of presents,
Speaker 1: like nobody has one more one lass. But it's also
Speaker 1: fed into me my sisters like death. If she ever
Speaker 1: does mess up and one of us gets one more,
Speaker 1: one less than she never hears the end of it.
Speaker 1: So true. So with everything being as it is this year,
Speaker 1: I had to let go is what I had to
Speaker 1: do this week and realize it couldn't be exactly how
Speaker 1: I wanted it to be, like with gifts, and just
Speaker 1: focus on being present. I actually have for the first time.
Speaker 1: I have everything wrapped. I have our ball game that
Speaker 1: we play every year. It is like in the closet
Speaker 1: ready to go. I'm usually making that ball Christmas Eve
Speaker 1: at midnight. It's already so I can be present since
Speaker 1: everyone is now here in Utah with us. I like it.
Speaker 1: And that was my That was my when I had
Speaker 1: a few weeks ago, as I got my Christmas shopping
Speaker 1: done super early. Dad, what you got? Um? Mine is
Speaker 1: kind of similar to mom. I really want to be
Speaker 1: present and appreciate all four of my kids and my
Speaker 1: amazing son in law, and especially my grand baby. And
Speaker 1: so I just want to sit back and absorb, take
Speaker 1: it all in and enjoy the company and and the
Speaker 1: spirit of each of them. Nice. That's those are Those
Speaker 1: are good ones to have, and they're great ways for
Speaker 1: us to get straight into it because as much as
Speaker 1: we try and do things every week to make ourselves better,
Speaker 1: we are coming to the ultimate day of of doing
Speaker 1: things to be better, which is New Year's Day. Everybody's
Speaker 1: got resolutions, and we're here now talking about New Year.
Speaker 1: New you just to kind of we'll we'll break the ice,
Speaker 1: will get comfortable, and then we can get into some
Speaker 1: more juicy parents stuff. UM, so let's do it. A
Speaker 1: lot of people have advice about New Year's resolutions. Um,
Speaker 1: some people don't like the New Years resolutions. Recently, actually
Speaker 1: haven't really been into Year's resolutions because I feel like
Speaker 1: the way that I used to do them, which was
Speaker 1: like every day I'm working out starting today, and I
Speaker 1: realized that I would just totally fall off the wagon
Speaker 1: by the second week of February or even the second
Speaker 1: week of January or what about you guys? Are you
Speaker 1: guys resolutions people? Um, I've never been one like write
Speaker 1: it down, keep track of it that way. I definitely
Speaker 1: make goals in my head of things that I want
Speaker 1: to do, but I try to give myself some grace
Speaker 1: in if I if I fail, even if it's quickly
Speaker 1: on in the year, and just also know that it's
Speaker 1: okay to reassess and restart. I like that dad. I
Speaker 1: used to Mom knows there was a place in Hawaii
Speaker 1: that I'd like to be um New Year's Eve too
Speaker 1: and write down my goals for that year. But at
Speaker 1: that time, I think I was looking more for structure
Speaker 1: in my life. These days, I think starting uh fifty
Speaker 1: two times a year is a lot easier on me,
Speaker 1: and so I feel like I could start all over
Speaker 1: each week starting quick. With some wisdom there Martin, I
Speaker 1: feel like sometimes for New Years, at least for me,
Speaker 1: I'll spend half of the time thinking about the year
Speaker 1: that just happened, and then I'll spend the other half
Speaker 1: of the time thinking, Okay, what do I want to
Speaker 1: do this year? What's coming up this year? Um? But
Speaker 1: this year, I feel like it's pretty it's pretty easy
Speaker 1: for me to want to just think about what's next
Speaker 1: and trying to figure out what's coming up after this.
Speaker 1: But that being said, what do you think is the
Speaker 1: most important thing that you guys learned in a year
Speaker 1: like this that was super weird and super dividing, and
Speaker 1: a lot of bad stuff happened, and it definitely wasn't
Speaker 1: the year that any of us were expecting it to be. Um,
Speaker 1: I think it, just like I said before, kind of
Speaker 1: to let go, let go of those preconceived things you
Speaker 1: think have to happen, and you have to let go
Speaker 1: because we weren't in control. There were so many things
Speaker 1: that normally were in control of that we actually weren't
Speaker 1: in control of this year, and we had to let
Speaker 1: go and try to find the happiness in the joy
Speaker 1: and what we did have control in, and also to
Speaker 1: keep it simple life was super simple for most of
Speaker 1: the year. That being said, there were some very hard
Speaker 1: times and sad times when we couldn't be together, but
Speaker 1: we would just make the best of it. When we
Speaker 1: one of us was down, I feel like we tried
Speaker 1: to all the rest pick up and pick up the
Speaker 1: pieces and just try to stay positive and keep it simple.
Speaker 1: I agree. I agree. It's a very different year, but
Speaker 1: you can look at it as the glass half empty
Speaker 1: or that glass half full. We uh, your parents, We've
Speaker 1: got to spend a lot more time this year together
Speaker 1: than we ever have probably in our whole marriage, and
Speaker 1: that's because of a lot of the circumstances this year.
Speaker 1: Well look at that. You guys are the first people
Speaker 1: have been on the show that aren't like this year sucked,
Speaker 1: including me. So all right, Well, now that we have
Speaker 1: broken that ice, let's get into parenting. It's what we
Speaker 1: have that connects us to You guys are my parents.
Speaker 1: So um, I feel like there's so many things that
Speaker 1: I've thought of in my own childhood into my young
Speaker 1: adulthood of like, oh, I want to make sure I
Speaker 1: do that when I have a kid, or like I
Speaker 1: want to make sure that I treat my kid like this,
Speaker 1: or my kid always feels like this when you guys
Speaker 1: are growing up, Like, what were your thoughts about that?
Speaker 1: Was there anything specific? And we'll start with you, dad,
Speaker 1: that like that made you go like, oh man, when
Speaker 1: I become a dad, I definitely want to be this,
Speaker 1: or like I definitely want to teach my kids this. Yeah.
Speaker 1: As a matter of fact, when I was dating your mom,
Speaker 1: we decided we dated for two weeks and decided to
Speaker 1: get married. Oh yeah, we didn't even get to that
Speaker 1: part yet. There's a long we're gonna go. We're gonna
Speaker 1: crack into that in just a sect, but go continue on.
Speaker 1: In that two weeks, one of the things she shared
Speaker 1: with me was that she'd never gotten a spanking from
Speaker 1: her parents, and that blew me away. Um, you know,
Speaker 1: being from a Polynesian background when I grew up, my
Speaker 1: my dad lad with the iron hand, and so I
Speaker 1: couldn't understand it when she told me, and I thought
Speaker 1: she was joking. But as we spoke a lot more
Speaker 1: in depth about it, I made it a goal. I
Speaker 1: said to myself, I want to be a parent that
Speaker 1: doesn't punish his children physically, and I want to lead
Speaker 1: my family without the eye in hand, I can proudly
Speaker 1: say other than two times, which both I deserved it.
Speaker 1: One I pete on my sisters and two I choked
Speaker 1: my sisters with my bare hands. Just just hallie, just hallie.
Speaker 1: That was true. You did, you did a good job.
Speaker 1: So congratulations on that, Mom. Do you have anything specific?
Speaker 1: I think I just wanted to have. I grew up
Speaker 1: with great parents who I knew loved me. But I
Speaker 1: think one it's a it was a generational thing. Is
Speaker 1: I wanted to be able to communicate because I felt
Speaker 1: like there was a lot of times and still as
Speaker 1: a struggle in my family to always have open and
Speaker 1: honest communication because I feel like that's the only way
Speaker 1: to truly be happy and to truly love each other,
Speaker 1: and especially love each other unconditional, which is so important
Speaker 1: to me in capitalizing on on that communication, son, I
Speaker 1: think the most important thing you mentioned the two times
Speaker 1: that you were spanked, but more importantly was the communication
Speaker 1: and how it played out, because, for instance, the very
Speaker 1: first time was when you peet on your sisters because
Speaker 1: they wouldn't let you play with them, and we can
Speaker 1: all agree that was probably a pretty valid reason to
Speaker 1: be on them. Yes, and uh, but not the right
Speaker 1: to take um. However, I knew how you were feeling.
Speaker 1: But if you remember, we gathered as a family and
Speaker 1: had a family meeting. We had a full family. It
Speaker 1: was a full situation, and we discussed what had taken
Speaker 1: place and and uh, what you had done, and we
Speaker 1: also discussed what you thought would be the right amount
Speaker 1: of spankings. Uh, these are bare butt spankings. And by
Speaker 1: the way, I want you to know the seriousness of
Speaker 1: this spanking. You got to choose, and I don't know why. Yeah,
Speaker 1: at three years old, for some reason, you chose the
Speaker 1: number four. And I remember my heart dropping and going, well,
Speaker 1: that's a lot, okay, he said, four kids, and and
Speaker 1: I chose four spanking had known I was a weirdo
Speaker 1: of back then. I was like giving four of them.
Speaker 1: Your sisters were all crying after the first everybody's crying.
Speaker 1: First crying, I'm crying, girls crying. Dad's crying. Yeah, that's tears.
Speaker 1: Hit my ass, my bare ass, and it hurt a
Speaker 1: little bit more, staying a little more, didn't it, gave
Speaker 1: it a little gave it a little stinger. And then
Speaker 1: the second time was very very similar, very similar. After
Speaker 1: choking Hallie and I thought she had stolen I thought
Speaker 1: she had stolen my candy. And I think that's a
Speaker 1: pretty valid punishment for the accusation of stealing. And I
Speaker 1: think we had warned him once, like a really good warnings.
Speaker 1: What do you mean? But that also, if you recall,
Speaker 1: took a lot of communicating and explaining to you why
Speaker 1: it was happening. Once again, you got to choose, and um,
Speaker 1: luckily you didn't choose four. You just chose three. Learned
Speaker 1: my last and the fourth one is when the tear
Speaker 1: was on my ass and it hurt. The good news
Speaker 1: is that both of you guys's goals that you had
Speaker 1: have come true because we are all great at communicating,
Speaker 1: all all six of us. I guess all eight of
Speaker 1: us now including Mela is very good at communicating when
Speaker 1: she wants stuff. But I want to go back a
Speaker 1: little bit because you talked about, and I'm so used
Speaker 1: to it that that that's how you and mom met
Speaker 1: and how you guys got married. But when people here
Speaker 1: that after two weeks of dating you decided you're going
Speaker 1: to get married, uh, most people's jaws just dropped to
Speaker 1: the floor. So we need to hear a little bit
Speaker 1: more about how that all went down. The first night
Speaker 1: we went out, we kissed, and the next fourteen days
Speaker 1: there wasn't a day that went by it we didn't
Speaker 1: see each other. And on the fourteenth day, right around there,
Speaker 1: we were on our way to the gym, it was
Speaker 1: like six third in the morning, and uh, I asked
Speaker 1: you how seriously you felt about us? And you paused
Speaker 1: and thought about it, and then you said, I'm seriously
Speaker 1: enough that if you were to ask me married now,
Speaker 1: I'd say yes, and that's it. And I said, well,
Speaker 1: it's own, let's get married. That is true. I was
Speaker 1: nineteen um and wasn't looking to get married by any means.
Speaker 1: But when it's right and it's the time, it's the time,
Speaker 1: you know it. We were married almost a year from
Speaker 1: that date. That is the exact reason why I told
Speaker 1: so many women that I loved them, because my parents
Speaker 1: had that as the preface of what it is to
Speaker 1: get married. So Uh, any girls who are hurt from
Speaker 1: the fact that I told them I loved them and
Speaker 1: then probably broke up with them within that year, I
Speaker 1: want you to know. That's why don't blame me, blame
Speaker 1: my parents. It's their fault. And then you guys. You
Speaker 1: guys got married, So how do you before we get
Speaker 1: into the parenting stuff, how do you guys feel what
Speaker 1: is the secret to having a successful and happy marriage? Man,
Speaker 1: that was such a loaded question, that pretty loaded. I
Speaker 1: would say, once again, communication. You know, we've definitely had
Speaker 1: a lot of bumps along the road and in our
Speaker 1: thirty years. But a couple of things that come to
Speaker 1: mind for me. Um A term that Dad introduced to
Speaker 1: me was brutal honesty, and it's not always fun, but
Speaker 1: it's definitely successful in a relationship. So I would say
Speaker 1: brutal honesty, communication, and forgiveness and fight for what you want.
Speaker 1: Definitely fight for what you want. And we were just
Speaker 1: talking about it, as we talk about it quite often,
Speaker 1: how grateful we feel that we've had such an amazing
Speaker 1: life so far, and how much we love our family
Speaker 1: and our children and to watch them grow, to watch
Speaker 1: them find happiness. And after thirty years, I can honestly
Speaker 1: say that I love your other more than I loved
Speaker 1: her the day I married her. No, it's really it's
Speaker 1: real though, it is true. I feel exactly the same.
Speaker 1: We talked about it often. That makes me very very
Speaker 1: happy to hear so I think the reason why a
Speaker 1: lot of people listen to this podcast and the reason
Speaker 1: why I wanted people to hear this conversation was because
Speaker 1: a lot of people grow and learn over time, and
Speaker 1: especially younger people are growing and learning over time. And
Speaker 1: I don't think that that's necessarily something in my conversations
Speaker 1: with plenty of older people and and including both of you,
Speaker 1: including old friends and Sandy and Mickey uh saying that
Speaker 1: that's like the most important thing is that you continue growing,
Speaker 1: you continue learning, And I think that that's something that
Speaker 1: plays into, um, what you both had mentioned of like,
Speaker 1: you know, communicating and fighting for what you really want.
Speaker 1: And I think those are the foundations of things that
Speaker 1: that should not ever stop happening. UM, So what are
Speaker 1: ways that you guys continue learning on your own and
Speaker 1: also together? I would say, you know, I would learn
Speaker 1: a lot actually watching you guys, watching the kids and
Speaker 1: listening and you guys open my mind to things that
Speaker 1: are very current and ways of thinking that we weren't raised,
Speaker 1: but we keep it, keep an open mind, and UM,
Speaker 1: love growing in that way and love just learning all
Speaker 1: the time watching other people, and I think talking about
Speaker 1: it too. You know, once again, like I think old
Speaker 1: school says, you know, you don't talk about your issues,
Speaker 1: you don't talk about what you've been through, but you're
Speaker 1: what you're feeling. And I think now it's so important
Speaker 1: that you just have to not hold anything in and
Speaker 1: just communicate, open up. I think another great thing that
Speaker 1: your mom's taught me is the difference between reacting and responding.
Speaker 1: Such a big difference. And I'd say I was a
Speaker 1: pretty reactive young man, you know, early in her marriage,
Speaker 1: and she's she's taught me how to respond to things
Speaker 1: rather than react right right, and and that's I think
Speaker 1: those are nice things to to not only have with
Speaker 1: each other in a marriage, but also, uh, the reason
Speaker 1: why you're here on this podcast is because it's also
Speaker 1: good things to have, like as a parent. So what
Speaker 1: was it like raising us? Most importantly me, Well, I
Speaker 1: have a scene and Dad always kind of rolls his
Speaker 1: eyes a little bit, and I've altered it over the
Speaker 1: years because I always just say, oh, I have I
Speaker 1: have perfect kids, and Dad would roll his eyes. No
Speaker 1: one is perfect, we know that, but my scene is
Speaker 1: I have four perfect in my eyes children. So I think,
Speaker 1: you know, initially when we first had Taylor and we
Speaker 1: were so young, we really wanted it to be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: obviously it's she's going to change our lives, but we
Speaker 1: don't want it to change it in things that we
Speaker 1: enjoy doing. We wanted you all to be included in
Speaker 1: our lives and what we do. UM, and I think
Speaker 1: that was like a big thing with us. You know,
Speaker 1: obviously there were times and places where it wasn't appropriate
Speaker 1: to bring four little kids to certain events, but as
Speaker 1: long as it was appropriate, you guys were there with us,
Speaker 1: and we just went appropriate included you in our lives
Speaker 1: so you could, you know, experience the things that we
Speaker 1: loved that you guys were there with us. I'm looking
Speaker 1: at that picture behind you of Mom and the four
Speaker 1: of you, and I remember, um, that years right around
Speaker 1: two thousand, wasn't it? Wasn't it two thousand and UM?
Speaker 1: I can recall that we hadn't even purchased our first
Speaker 1: home yet. Um. We did later that year, but looking
Speaker 1: at that picture, I reflect back and think, man, we
Speaker 1: had it all back then. We It wasn't about getting
Speaker 1: the new house or building the new house or any
Speaker 1: other material things. It was just having our family together
Speaker 1: and being happy. That's nice, that's super tight. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think that that's something that I wanted to ask you,
Speaker 1: dad about, because you mentioned like back then when we
Speaker 1: didn't own a house or we didn't have this, we
Speaker 1: didn't have that before we kind of had all grown
Speaker 1: up and I got to live the super luxurious life
Speaker 1: that I did as a child. Then, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: Um But but but in seriousness, our household was pretty traditional,
Speaker 1: I guess I'll say in the sense that mom, once
Speaker 1: we were all as as we were all home and
Speaker 1: growing up as children, you stayed home for the most part.
Speaker 1: You worked a little bit for the airlines throughout. But Dad,
Speaker 1: you worked a pretty grueling schedule of work to put
Speaker 1: food on the table. Plus you know so much more
Speaker 1: than that. Um So my next question is for you, Dad,
Speaker 1: which is how did you balance working your ass off
Speaker 1: and providing and doing so much for the family on
Speaker 1: the work like away from us, I don't never think
Speaker 1: about you being like less of a good dad because
Speaker 1: you're always gone. Like I know, there's a lot of
Speaker 1: kids who are like I don't even know. I never
Speaker 1: had a relationship with my dad. I always had a
Speaker 1: great relationship with you. I think all of us did.
Speaker 1: But you also still were working five six days a week,
Speaker 1: you know, big, big, double digit hours. That's a good question.
Speaker 1: I think I think you've inherited it as well, the
Speaker 1: belief and playing hard and working hard. We always had
Speaker 1: activities as a family and fun things to do, but
Speaker 1: we also had our quiet time as a family where
Speaker 1: we would just spend quality time and not have to
Speaker 1: use an activity to get out and go together. Um.
Speaker 1: A lot of it is through trial and error too,
Speaker 1: and time management. I look back, and I might have
Speaker 1: a different point of view. I might, you know, be
Speaker 1: thinking I wish I had spent more time, or I
Speaker 1: wish I hadn't missed out. You know, many times I
Speaker 1: did miss out on the activities that you and your
Speaker 1: sisters were doing or that you participated in just due
Speaker 1: to work. But I always fought included because Mom was
Speaker 1: great with the video camera and I was still able
Speaker 1: to feel like I was there. Yeah, I mean, and
Speaker 1: I think we all felt the same, at least on
Speaker 1: my end, at least, I've felt we never missed a step.
Speaker 1: It was always like I can't remember how many times
Speaker 1: would come and visit you at work and you'd let
Speaker 1: me drive the golf card around to the houses and
Speaker 1: all of those things. So I think that it was
Speaker 1: more so a how did you do that type of
Speaker 1: question more than a how do you feel about that?
Speaker 1: But you watched us go through things that you might
Speaker 1: have either already been through or you've already experienced, but
Speaker 1: we had to learn the lessons for ourselves. You saw us,
Speaker 1: you know, when in stride, and you saw us being
Speaker 1: stressed about everything from homework to girls or or boys
Speaker 1: or everything kind of under the sun. And you guys
Speaker 1: are being parents. And I feel like sometimes while you
Speaker 1: might have known the answers, or you might have known
Speaker 1: exactly what we needed to do or what we didn't
Speaker 1: need to worry about. Um, you might have been your
Speaker 1: tongue so that we could experience those things for ourselves.
Speaker 1: But are there anything specifically that you wish you could
Speaker 1: have told us? You know that maybe in your mind
Speaker 1: you were like, man, you guys are you're giving way
Speaker 1: too much energy to this this stress or this worry.
Speaker 1: I would definitely say like relationships for sure, you know,
Speaker 1: as you guys got older, I mean that was the
Speaker 1: hardest like to see, you know, to even kind of
Speaker 1: feel I never wanted to be the parent who was
Speaker 1: like I told you so, or you shouldn't be friends
Speaker 1: with this person or that person. But you know, we
Speaker 1: definitely have our instincts, and when I felt like maybe
Speaker 1: someone wasn't good for you or one of your sister's,
Speaker 1: kind of bite my tongue and let you write it out.
Speaker 1: And then but at the same time, when that person
Speaker 1: hurt you, which in my mother heart I felt was
Speaker 1: going to happen, I wish, like, man, I should have
Speaker 1: said something, but I just didn't want to be that
Speaker 1: in your face. Mother told you so. I mean, because
Speaker 1: you do have to. You know, life is trial and
Speaker 1: error and you have to do that. And unfortunately, yeah,
Speaker 1: as a mom, as a parent and mom or dad,
Speaker 1: it's very hard to watch that when we know what
Speaker 1: the outcome is going to be. But it's definitely important.
Speaker 1: I think that we allowed you to do that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we wanted to make sure that you experienced it for
Speaker 1: yourself and that we weren't interrupting your experience because of
Speaker 1: our views. And I think that's probably one of the
Speaker 1: most challenging things about being a parent, because you have
Speaker 1: to be patient. We've had many many conversations you know
Speaker 1: that we didn't share with you or your sisters as
Speaker 1: you were going through a lot of these experiences that
Speaker 1: we really just had to keep to ourselves and watch
Speaker 1: from the sidelines. Yeah, I mean, I think there's a
Speaker 1: lot that goes into being a parent. I have never
Speaker 1: even been a parent, and I know that there's a
Speaker 1: lot that goes into being a parent. But I think
Speaker 1: even more than the things that you guys had to
Speaker 1: go through with us, which were normal, like dating and
Speaker 1: what you just mentioned in the conversations you have behind
Speaker 1: closed doors, you guys were parents to a very unique situation,
Speaker 1: which was me, don't go anywhere, I want to take
Speaker 1: this to the next step up or I guess the
Speaker 1: next piece of our conversation kick the sisters out, because
Speaker 1: you guys also were very You guys were parents to
Speaker 1: a very unique situation, which was me wanting to pursue dreams,
Speaker 1: really chase after things. And if you've for the listeners,
Speaker 1: if you've ever heard any interview of mine where I
Speaker 1: reference what it was like being, you know, growing up,
Speaker 1: and what I attribute success to, the biggest thing was
Speaker 1: having a family that believed in me, having a family
Speaker 1: that supported me. And we moved to Los Angeles from Arizona,
Speaker 1: UM So I want to go back and kind of
Speaker 1: relive that through your guys eyes, because I know even
Speaker 1: in my own experience that there were a lot of people,
Speaker 1: um even today that would never do what you guys did.
Speaker 1: I think most parents will believe in their kid and
Speaker 1: buy them a guitar if they want to learn how
Speaker 1: to play guitar, or maybe they'll give buy them some
Speaker 1: singing lessons or or help them do you know one
Speaker 1: or two simple things that don't really alter their own lifestyle.
Speaker 1: But you guys actually were open to completely uprooting out
Speaker 1: of Arizona in moving to Los Angeles. So, in one
Speaker 1: giant loaded question, what drove you to do that? And
Speaker 1: what gave you the confidence that it was not a
Speaker 1: wild pipe dream? Not a wild pipe dream? Son, it
Speaker 1: was a wild pipe dream. I guess it was a
Speaker 1: wild pipe dream. We just we you know, it was
Speaker 1: very unorthodox, a very unorthodox move that we did. But
Speaker 1: you know, you mentioned like some parents will get their
Speaker 1: kids and guitar, you know, just to suffice them because
Speaker 1: they want to learn how to play guitar. You were
Speaker 1: that and so much more because not only did you
Speaker 1: want a guitar, you want a piano and you wanted
Speaker 1: to sing, and you would soar, and if I was
Speaker 1: checking off the boxes, you would sore in in those areas,
Speaker 1: and so we knew you were serious. Um, we know
Speaker 1: that it's not common for your children to know what
Speaker 1: their dream is. However, your three sisters, we look at
Speaker 1: them in the same space as we look at you.
Speaker 1: They just haven't told us exactly what they want to do.
Speaker 1: You just happened to know that when you were young.
Speaker 1: Did it warrant such an unorthodox move? No, not necessarily,
Speaker 1: but at that time when we moved, uh, this timing
Speaker 1: seemed to be right. It was quite a bit of
Speaker 1: a sacrifice, as you know, moving from a seven thousand
Speaker 1: square foot home to a little apartment, but it was
Speaker 1: location and we were on the beach. We were in California,
Speaker 1: where your mom and I both grew up and wanted
Speaker 1: to We yearned to get back, but we didn't expect
Speaker 1: to be on the beach. And if it was just
Speaker 1: a small apartment, we'll take it. And you know, it
Speaker 1: taught us also to go back to more of a
Speaker 1: minimalist type of lifestyle because we had so much stuff.
Speaker 1: And at that time, right before moving, you too to California.
Speaker 1: I thought stuff was important at that time as a
Speaker 1: growing father and becoming more and more successful. If I
Speaker 1: were to do it again, I wouldn't concentrate so much
Speaker 1: on stuff and really concentrate on your sister's needs and
Speaker 1: your needs. You know, when we first decided to move
Speaker 1: to l a Um, it wasn't just overnight. Obviously, it
Speaker 1: was watching you. You had been asking it. We knew
Speaker 1: you wanted to do it. We'd kind of thought, oh,
Speaker 1: maybe he'll pursue it later in life. And and the
Speaker 1: more we saw this talent and you grow, and we
Speaker 1: kind of, you know, let you go out to l
Speaker 1: a kind of test the waters. And of course all
Speaker 1: parents think their kids are great, and like I said,
Speaker 1: I have four perfect in my eyes kids. And I
Speaker 1: believed you had talent. Dad believed you had talent. But
Speaker 1: on top of the talent, we saw the drive you had,
Speaker 1: and the work ethic and the desire and but first
Speaker 1: and foremost on top of that is how happy it
Speaker 1: made you. And I would think that if anyone were
Speaker 1: to ask my kids, what did your mom want the
Speaker 1: most for you? I would hope that you guys would say,
Speaker 1: she wants us to be happy. And I think that's
Speaker 1: that was the biggest driver. I remember someone saying to me, oh,
Speaker 1: you want to take your son to l A to
Speaker 1: make a buck off of him? And I was so
Speaker 1: offended because I thought, first of all, how dare you?
Speaker 1: But anyways, I thought, no, you know what, look at him,
Speaker 1: look at how happy? Well, I think I remember who
Speaker 1: that was that to you. I got a little black book.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonnae I got Arizona, little black book of
Speaker 1: people who I've gotta who I'm really gonna send Christmas
Speaker 1: cards to when I when it's all said and done.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think it just was the happiness, and
Speaker 1: it was for us. Like Dad said, you know, we
Speaker 1: had had this stuff, We had had this, that and
Speaker 1: the other, and it was that isn't what brings happiness.
Speaker 1: It's finding your passion, finding your joy, loving fully and
Speaker 1: um being there for one another, watching your sisters support
Speaker 1: you and sacrifice for you in the move. To me,
Speaker 1: I'm that all we all grew closer, our hearts grew
Speaker 1: bigger for each other. And you know, I do it again,
Speaker 1: do it again and again. Mom and I were just
Speaker 1: talking the other week about how we both talked so
Speaker 1: much about building the perfect home, and that perfect home.
Speaker 1: When we did build home, you all had your own rooms,
Speaker 1: and you all we had a big intercom system, and
Speaker 1: we remember calling you guys for dinner on the intercom,
Speaker 1: like in your separate rooms, and we realized that wasn't
Speaker 1: the life we wanted. We wanted to be closer, and
Speaker 1: you know, moving to California that put us closer. As
Speaker 1: you know, we didn't have much furniture, and love sex
Speaker 1: became our our furniture, but it also became our kitchen.
Speaker 1: So I think when I look at that whole move
Speaker 1: in general, and I look at it, I try and
Speaker 1: look at it objectively, and when it comes to if
Speaker 1: we were to take it not by we're just calling
Speaker 1: it as it is. If it comes to that as
Speaker 1: like an investment, like you invested in my dream by
Speaker 1: moving me to Los Angeles, I think it's safe to
Speaker 1: say for me that like it was a good investment,
Speaker 1: like obviously outside of what your goal was, Mom of
Speaker 1: saying like me being happy that happened, Dad, if we
Speaker 1: even based it off of stuff and like experience and
Speaker 1: getting to do it like I've been so lucky in
Speaker 1: my career so far too to sign to a major
Speaker 1: label and release songs and have gold records and write
Speaker 1: songs for big artists and all these things. But I
Speaker 1: think more importantly than that for me was that, like
Speaker 1: you had mentioned, we went from having our own space
Speaker 1: to being forced to not have our own space and
Speaker 1: create now what was actually who we were as family,
Speaker 1: which was all being together, so that it kind of
Speaker 1: laid the foundation that now that we're again apart, I
Speaker 1: think at that time really um set a foundation of
Speaker 1: who we were going to be as all as adults
Speaker 1: now all as family, and it's really made us you know,
Speaker 1: who we are now, which is like just a bunch
Speaker 1: of friends. I think that also just happened to be
Speaker 1: family you mentioned before we go into this last segment
Speaker 1: and then go into the A M. A. Dad you
Speaker 1: had mentioned and Mom you had mentioned it as well,
Speaker 1: kind of referencing raising each of us. So how did
Speaker 1: you navigate raising how do you navigate being a parent
Speaker 1: to four completely unique people? Definitely for unique people, Yep,
Speaker 1: we definitely have that. UM. I think it is just
Speaker 1: kind of giving everybody their own opportunity. Like Dad said,
Speaker 1: obviously you're dream your passion of what you wanted to
Speaker 1: do for the rest of your life came early, and
Speaker 1: I think sometimes I could have also been hard for
Speaker 1: your sisters because they're like, we don't know what we
Speaker 1: want to do. And I don't want to say you
Speaker 1: weren't normal, and like your son, your brother is not normal.
Speaker 1: You guys are normal. But at the same time, it's
Speaker 1: you know, most ten twelve year olds don't know exactly.
Speaker 1: I mean they might by the time you're twelve, you've
Speaker 1: gone through ten different occupations that you would like to be.
Speaker 1: So it was just navigating, listening to everybody, providing opportunities
Speaker 1: for them as well, and being sensitive to each of
Speaker 1: their needs. And when I say sensitive, you almost have
Speaker 1: to guess ahead of time um on each of your
Speaker 1: kids and be proactive to their needs and what you
Speaker 1: might think of their needs. And you're not always right,
Speaker 1: but I think the effort. You know, I M Taylor's
Speaker 1: your oldest sister. I try to be sensitive to Taylor's
Speaker 1: needs um as much as I am yours and your needs.
Speaker 1: And you don't even need me, you know, these days,
Speaker 1: yet you're still our son, and we still feel like
Speaker 1: we have to be here for you no matter what.
Speaker 1: We know that your life isn't perfect. But each of
Speaker 1: your sisters. You know, You're youngest sister is twenty two,
Speaker 1: and you guys might think we spoil her the most,
Speaker 1: and we probably do. But um, with parenting all four
Speaker 1: of you, by time you get to the end, which
Speaker 1: is your youngest sister, you kind of want to just
Speaker 1: say yeah so much right, Like you learn it's kind
Speaker 1: of like that commercial where it's like first baby and
Speaker 1: you're like not letting it touch the ground, and then
Speaker 1: it's like third baby and you're just like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: given whatever you needs. Like it's just really at this
Speaker 1: point whatever I don't know. I I mean knocking knocking
Speaker 1: on real wood right now, Um that I don't have
Speaker 1: to be a parent anytime soon, because it really is
Speaker 1: a journey. But I think this weird idea that I've
Speaker 1: always had of like I feel like when you're when
Speaker 1: you're really young, you just think like your parents are invincible,
Speaker 1: they're not even human. They're just like these amazing, perfect superheroes.
Speaker 1: And then as you get older in a good way
Speaker 1: but also just in a very human way, you find out,
Speaker 1: oh they're people. I'm in person, Like we're all people
Speaker 1: and everybody's a person. I want to ask you guys
Speaker 1: about that whole situation, because I feel like, what were
Speaker 1: your guys is I guess emotions as we all became
Speaker 1: older and we all became old enough to see you
Speaker 1: more as as friends. UM, I don't remember, like actually
Speaker 1: like a point where it switched, but I do remember.
Speaker 1: I remember hearing people say, oh, my mom's my best friend,
Speaker 1: or my daughter's my best friend, my son's my best friend.
Speaker 1: And I didn't really grasp that concept until maybe just
Speaker 1: a couple of years ago, where I, like you just said,
Speaker 1: if I had to choose who I could be with
Speaker 1: you know, or who I want to be with the most,
Speaker 1: or who I want to talk to, who I want
Speaker 1: to see, it's true. It is it is the aid
Speaker 1: of us that are in this house right now. And
Speaker 1: I felt that way for a while, where I just
Speaker 1: genuinely obviously another important concept excuse me and parenting, I think,
Speaker 1: is a difference between like and love. And of course
Speaker 1: I've always loved you, I've I will always love you,
Speaker 1: and but how life goes, there are times in life
Speaker 1: where we might not like each other because of choices
Speaker 1: we've made or differences we're having. Arguments that might come
Speaker 1: up but I couldn't honestly remember the last time I've
Speaker 1: thought to myself that I haven't liked one of you,
Speaker 1: because I like you so much. We are all very unique,
Speaker 1: were very different. We have different beliefs and um things
Speaker 1: in our lives that we that are important to some
Speaker 1: might not be the most important to others. But it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter because we like each other so much. We
Speaker 1: genuine love each other unconditional, and I, as a mom,
Speaker 1: I couldn't. I couldn't have abous for anything else. At
Speaker 1: sixteen minutes and ten seconds she started, There we go,
Speaker 1: number of crying Number two I would have. UM. I
Speaker 1: can honestly say I vouch for your mom. She's one
Speaker 1: of the most loving people I know. But more importantly,
Speaker 1: she has helped me co parents and taught me not
Speaker 1: only to love, but she's taught me words like kindness
Speaker 1: and tolerance and understanding and patients. And these are things
Speaker 1: that have been passed down to your sisters and yourself
Speaker 1: that you inherently get that you may not have to
Speaker 1: pull them out to utilize them or understand them yet,
Speaker 1: but they're inherently in you and your sisters. I don't
Speaker 1: know what that feels like, but I do know that
Speaker 1: I've been you know, I'm I'm so lucky that I
Speaker 1: have parents who have been able to understand that that
Speaker 1: that we all kind of grow And I think we
Speaker 1: got really lucky that, like you said, we all like
Speaker 1: each other just as much as we love each other now.
Speaker 1: But the there's a lot of a lot of things
Speaker 1: that you guys say, like in general, because most of
Speaker 1: the time when I have guests on here, I can
Speaker 1: be like, oh, I totally relate to that, but I
Speaker 1: really don't. I have no relation to being being a parent,
Speaker 1: and hopefully I don't have one. But maybe like in
Speaker 1: ten years down the line, I'll be able to call
Speaker 1: you and be like, hey, remember when you said that
Speaker 1: thing on my podcast. I get it now here we are,
Speaker 1: um ten years then they're old enough that they're not
Speaker 1: just like little babies. So the flip to that then
Speaker 1: is seeing your kid grow up. And I know that
Speaker 1: you I I'd like to think that when you have
Speaker 1: a child, you have like an idea of like, man,
Speaker 1: my kid's never going to do this, or my my
Speaker 1: kid is never gonna, you know, drink, or my kids
Speaker 1: never gonna do that. And obviously I've referenced it a
Speaker 1: lot in this podcast, how we were raised and uh,
Speaker 1: and how that's really shaped who I am as a person,
Speaker 1: And it's really shape to my personality, and it's really
Speaker 1: shaped my beliefs and the and the faith that I
Speaker 1: have and in and the the amount of important families
Speaker 1: and all of these things. But just as much as
Speaker 1: kids grow up and they find out that their parents
Speaker 1: aren't superheroes, I think parents watch their kids grow up
Speaker 1: and they find out that no matter how hard you
Speaker 1: can steer your children in the right direction, which is
Speaker 1: what I think you guys did, inevitably, there's still going
Speaker 1: to be human beings, and they're still going to be adults,
Speaker 1: and they're probably going to differ in some ways that
Speaker 1: you had originally not planned for them to differ in.
Speaker 1: Um So, I guess one of my last questions before
Speaker 1: we get into this ask my parents anything, is how
Speaker 1: do you navigate those feelings when your children start acting
Speaker 1: in ways? And this is for any parents out there,
Speaker 1: not even just our family. How do you navigate those
Speaker 1: feelings when your kids aren't doing what you had hoped
Speaker 1: or originally wished they would do. There are too many
Speaker 1: answers for navigating your feelings. However, I think if you
Speaker 1: know to love your children and can, then everything that
Speaker 1: comes your way or their way is very Uh, you
Speaker 1: can handle it. You can deal with it. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: An actual example came to mind is I remember listening
Speaker 1: your dad came home and he showed me, Um, your
Speaker 1: gospel at twenty three songs. And I remember listening to
Speaker 1: old a f and you know, to be completely honest
Speaker 1: as a mom. If I didn't love, I don't love
Speaker 1: hearing you say those words and UM, but I listened
Speaker 1: to all the words. I listened to it several times.
Speaker 1: And then I don't know if you remember this, but
Speaker 1: I flew to l A, I'm sorry, and UM. We
Speaker 1: talked about it. I told you how I felt. I
Speaker 1: asked you if I could have done something better as
Speaker 1: a parent to make your life better. And you explained
Speaker 1: to me your whole feelings on writing it, and you
Speaker 1: explained everything, and I was just at peace, and and
Speaker 1: I knew that these were your words, these were your truth.
Speaker 1: And as much as you know, maybe if you've made
Speaker 1: or make choices that are different from maybe we would
Speaker 1: have written on paper as what we outlined for your life.
Speaker 1: The most important thing. I've said this to so many people,
Speaker 1: that is that you have a heart of gold. You
Speaker 1: are a good person. You even if it's not the
Speaker 1: choices I would make, you're a good person and you
Speaker 1: help and you have this amazing sense about you. So
Speaker 1: it's like that to me, I'd rather you be there
Speaker 1: and be happy than maybe, you know, being stifled and
Speaker 1: not being your unique and true self. Yeah, your mom is.
Speaker 1: She's always been very uh sensitive once again to each
Speaker 1: of your needs, but a lot of them are in
Speaker 1: this sense, was you know, her need to express to
Speaker 1: you how um it was so different for her, such
Speaker 1: a big change for her. I, on the other hand,
Speaker 1: I believe in not blocking any of the artistic vibes
Speaker 1: or creativity. And when I heard heard that, of course,
Speaker 1: you know, the first thoughts are, man, Will Smith never
Speaker 1: had to swear, you know, and it was just because
Speaker 1: you had such a clean upbringing. I remember reading on
Speaker 1: on your YouTube videos, you know, people saying how Chemey
Speaker 1: doesn't cuss, Well, it's because people use profanity as a
Speaker 1: descriptive words. We both grew up in the ld S faith,
Speaker 1: and so you know, we were taught not to drink,
Speaker 1: not to smoke, not to use profanity and and so
Speaker 1: these are things that oh, you've seen us roll with,
Speaker 1: you know, as your parents. But try me. They haven't
Speaker 1: been that difficult. They haven't been that challenging. It's just
Speaker 1: been different, right, And I think what you had mentioned
Speaker 1: earlier is like it was how you two were raised,
Speaker 1: and you were raised, I think it's also a much
Speaker 1: different generation. Um, and then you come up and you
Speaker 1: have your children, and it's it's impossible to track. And
Speaker 1: this is something that I'm just completely assuming is you know,
Speaker 1: it's impossible to track where the world's going to go.
Speaker 1: So you can't raise your kids in the perfect way
Speaker 1: to act the exact same way when the world isn't
Speaker 1: gonna give that same environment that you guys were raised in.
Speaker 1: And I think that that can be really, really hard,
Speaker 1: because especially when it comes to religion, or when it
Speaker 1: comes to faith, or when it comes to family values
Speaker 1: or any of those things, it's hard to keep those
Speaker 1: exact same family values when the world around you is
Speaker 1: a complete one eighty. You know, it's it's it's it's
Speaker 1: hard when the you know, when the F word at
Speaker 1: your guys generation was used so sparingly that you would
Speaker 1: genuinely be shocked when you hear the word and now
Speaker 1: you walk outside and if you if you don't hear
Speaker 1: it in a single conversation, you're more surprised that you
Speaker 1: didn't hear those words. And so it's little things like
Speaker 1: that that can be really really difficult for a parent,
Speaker 1: at least in my opinion. Um. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: I think, I think about so many ways that you
Speaker 1: have You guys, as parents, have been amazing in letting
Speaker 1: our different lives that we've led in our experiences that
Speaker 1: we've come to independently as children, and then we come
Speaker 1: back and we bring those to you. I think something
Speaker 1: that's been really really awesome, especially you know, I'll even
Speaker 1: say this last year with the election and everything, and
Speaker 1: you saw so many trending videos of kids yelling at
Speaker 1: their parents because the kids supported one side and the
Speaker 1: parents supported another side, or you have like you know,
Speaker 1: there's everybody always uses the term old heads, which is like,
Speaker 1: you know, parents who are stuck in their ways, or
Speaker 1: older people who are aren't willing to learn about the
Speaker 1: new generation or what's going on. And I think one
Speaker 1: thing that I will credit to you having such a strong,
Speaker 1: open conversation relationship. I think at this point, both of
Speaker 1: you guys know pretty much everything I've ever done in
Speaker 1: in terms of the good, the bad, and the ugly
Speaker 1: I've I've been comfortable enough to say, hey, do you
Speaker 1: guys know that I did this? Or you've asked me
Speaker 1: even like, hey have you guys, have you ever done this?
Speaker 1: And we can have you know. On the flip side
Speaker 1: of that, son, there's also when I say the flip side,
Speaker 1: we were just talking about something that you've done that
Speaker 1: has surprised us, some kind of took us back. But
Speaker 1: on the other hand, you know, there's a saying you
Speaker 1: learned from your children too, and you know, the first
Speaker 1: thing that comes to mind is your support of lgbt Q.
Speaker 1: Mom and I were raised that that was totally on
Speaker 1: the other side of the fence, and and we didn't
Speaker 1: know very many people who were gay or lesbian or
Speaker 1: different that way. And but we what we did know
Speaker 1: is that we taught you and your sisters to love people,
Speaker 1: to love everyone, and not to judge. Those are the
Speaker 1: two biggest things we've taught our children. And so when
Speaker 1: we saw your support for that, we had to face
Speaker 1: each other and say, that's what we taught them. We
Speaker 1: taught we taught our kids to love and not be
Speaker 1: judgmental and to accept. And so those old heads, I
Speaker 1: totally get what you I know what you mean by that,
Speaker 1: but that is also purely an example of how we've
Speaker 1: learned from our kids, and we're never too old to learn.
Speaker 1: I think also too, you just said something that made
Speaker 1: me think of something, which is, like you said, the
Speaker 1: lessons that you taught, you know, lessons that you taught
Speaker 1: us that might manifest out in different ways than you
Speaker 1: had originally taught them. You know, you said, love everybody,
Speaker 1: and even though in your generation that might have just
Speaker 1: meant make sure you give money to provide food for
Speaker 1: the homeless of those who have least like it can
Speaker 1: manifest into something completely different. I think of I think
Speaker 1: of so many ways in which I could twist and
Speaker 1: spin lessons that you've you guys have both taught me
Speaker 1: into things that I do on our everyday basis. I
Speaker 1: think of quality over quantity and everything in moderation. When
Speaker 1: I think of the times that I decided to try drinking,
Speaker 1: or the times that I that I smoked or or
Speaker 1: would do this or that, and and and I think
Speaker 1: that that's something also that you can't. Are we gonna
Speaker 1: have to give him a third that you can't you know,
Speaker 1: those are things that you can't you don't know, like, oh,
Speaker 1: I actually taught him that. And and there's so many
Speaker 1: lessons if any, if anything, all of the lessons that
Speaker 1: I've applied to my life would be lessons that I
Speaker 1: learned from me. Whether it's whether it's quality over quantity,
Speaker 1: or you know, it's all about good food, good family,
Speaker 1: and good music and things like that, all of these
Speaker 1: lessons that we learned. Um and so I think as
Speaker 1: we close out this segment and we get into this
Speaker 1: A m A, it has been so cool getting to
Speaker 1: feel and experience every season that is being your guys
Speaker 1: son and getting to experience that. We went from a
Speaker 1: stage where I and you'll hear in my podcast with
Speaker 1: my sisters about out the time that I got caught
Speaker 1: making out with Jamie Arrato and I had to come
Speaker 1: home and I had we had the talk of you know,
Speaker 1: being disappointed in me all of those little things, getting
Speaker 1: spanked at, you know, at three years old for peeing
Speaker 1: on my sisters and all that stuff too. Even now
Speaker 1: being an adult and being able to like tell you
Speaker 1: guys like, hey, guys, I tried this or I tried that.
Speaker 1: Check this out. And and you, as incredible listeners and
Speaker 1: learners as well as incredible teachers, get to provide this
Speaker 1: open space that we can come home for Christmas. Whether
Speaker 1: we all come from different walks of life that year,
Speaker 1: we are all completely unified that year. Especially this year,
Speaker 1: we've all been so isolated from each other that we
Speaker 1: get to come back here and we feel so open
Speaker 1: and loving. So I want to thank you both for
Speaker 1: being the best parents that you guys are and providing
Speaker 1: the environment that helped me at least and and and
Speaker 1: I'll speak for the girls as well, and them as
Speaker 1: well become who who we are and and get to
Speaker 1: apply all that in our lives. Um, we're gonna take
Speaker 1: a quick break, and when we come back, we have
Speaker 1: the A M A which is asked me anything, or
Speaker 1: also known as the A M P A, which is
Speaker 1: asked my parents anything, don't go anywhere. Al Right, we
Speaker 1: are back. This is let's get into it. I'm with
Speaker 1: my parents and we've had like I feel like this
Speaker 1: episode is definitely unique than more unique than the other ones.
Speaker 1: I also realized like halfway through this episode that my
Speaker 1: my own energy in this episode is different, and it's
Speaker 1: because I'm talking to my parents. UM, so cheers to that. Mom, Dad,
Speaker 1: how you is doing? We're doing great? Yes. So I
Speaker 1: went on my Instagram and uh, and I asked all
Speaker 1: of the fans to hit me up with questions that
Speaker 1: they wish they could ask their parents, or questions that
Speaker 1: they just want me to ask you about us. So
Speaker 1: we're gonna start super easy and uh. And the first
Speaker 1: question is how do you feel about my hair? Do
Speaker 1: you like it long? Or do you want me to
Speaker 1: cut it? I think you're a beautiful hair and it's
Speaker 1: long and as sorry now, um, I don't know if
Speaker 1: everyone knows, but we didn't cut Alex's hair to he
Speaker 1: turned three, so he had long hair as a little
Speaker 1: boy and I loved it and he had the curls
Speaker 1: and I think it's beautiful long hair. I do love
Speaker 1: his his face with the sides, like when his side
Speaker 1: just to be super short. But I like it now
Speaker 1: how you can pull it back and I see that. Um,
Speaker 1: but I say, whatever makes you happy, you have good
Speaker 1: long hair and lose the mustache. They definitely hate the mustache.
Speaker 1: Facial hair. They do not like they do not like
Speaker 1: the facial hair. But you know what, that's okay, that's
Speaker 1: totally fine. Okay. So this question is from sid dot
Speaker 1: lou how did they birth beautiful Sydney and then follow
Speaker 1: up with a toad like you. Um, that's from my
Speaker 1: sister and we're gonna we're not gonna take that question,
Speaker 1: thank you very much. UM. Here's another question. Speaking of sisters,
Speaker 1: here's a question, hallie ion know how are babies made? Oh? Wow?
Speaker 1: Did we never tell her? No? Do you know what's
Speaker 1: really funny? Did you know that you, at least with me.
Speaker 1: You guys never had the talk with me. I thought
Speaker 1: your dad, did I give that this was the talk.
Speaker 1: This was the talk. And I don't know if you
Speaker 1: remember this, Dad, but this was the talk that I do.
Speaker 1: At this point, I was eighteen, I was dating a
Speaker 1: certain person, um, and I think literally the conversation was like, hey, son,
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're doing out there, but just
Speaker 1: be safe, all right? And I was like, all right,
Speaker 1: thanks dad. Wait wait wait, because I didn't think that
Speaker 1: was the talk. I thought the talk was when you
Speaker 1: were in seventh or eighth grade and you came home
Speaker 1: and you told me something that happened with a young lady,
Speaker 1: and I tried my very best to not be surprised,
Speaker 1: but we did have a little talk about young ladies
Speaker 1: at that time. I don't remember that. Um, this is
Speaker 1: a fun question. How would you say your guy's parenting
Speaker 1: style is different than your parents parenting style? We already
Speaker 1: talked about the communication mom, we already talked about the
Speaker 1: iron fist Dad, But like, what else do you feel
Speaker 1: like it was really different in the way that you
Speaker 1: guys decided to parent. Our parents came from such a
Speaker 1: different era, and I think that we've just trusted each
Speaker 1: other and talked about it, you know, the decisions we've
Speaker 1: made as parents before, during, and after. But I definitely
Speaker 1: would say that your mom and I put communication up
Speaker 1: there first. Where I never really saw my parents communicate,
Speaker 1: let alone be Um, they weren't outwardly loving and they
Speaker 1: didn't show a lot of what an intimacy either, you know,
Speaker 1: or so we never really saw romantic moments. But somehow
Speaker 1: I grew up in a family of ten kids, so yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, had to happen somehow. Yeah, But I just
Speaker 1: think that parenting changes with eras Also, Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: you definitely have to be flexible. I mean, because we
Speaker 1: what we did is we took the good things from
Speaker 1: our parents, and I think that's kind of what I
Speaker 1: hope this for you all, is that you take the
Speaker 1: good things that you had as your parents and you
Speaker 1: enhance it and you make it even better. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to say I am a better mom than my
Speaker 1: mom was, but I hope that I took things traits
Speaker 1: from her and then I just made it better for
Speaker 1: your generation. And I hope that's what I hope for
Speaker 1: you guys. I love that. I love that. So this
Speaker 1: one's this one is a little bit more personal. When
Speaker 1: was the first time that you guys were disappointed in me?
Speaker 1: They're asking some really good one. I mean, which time? No,
Speaker 1: I mean honestly, and we talked about it a lot.
Speaker 1: Is the I just didn't know how to handle when
Speaker 1: you peete on your sisters like that. To me, I
Speaker 1: was I grew up with only sisters, so such a
Speaker 1: boy thing to do, and I just was like, that's
Speaker 1: why I just put its seriously grossed out where I
Speaker 1: was laughing and I thought it was funny, but I
Speaker 1: knew the seriousness of it, and I knew you know
Speaker 1: that we had to approach it as parents, and uh,
Speaker 1: but I don't think that was the first time I
Speaker 1: was man, I just pointed me before that I was
Speaker 1: like three years old. Are you going to be disappointed
Speaker 1: with me? And three years old or younger? I know,
Speaker 1: the first time I can think of that I was disappointed.
Speaker 1: I had taken you to the Super Bowl and we
Speaker 1: had the hookups to where we were able to go
Speaker 1: and watch the Arizona Cardinals practice for the Super Bowl.
Speaker 1: At that time, we were able to like go and
Speaker 1: get signatures, and I wanted you to go get one
Speaker 1: from Larry Fitzgerald, and for some reason you just froze
Speaker 1: up and you you wouldn't go over and get it.
Speaker 1: And I remember getting frustrated with you and saying, so
Speaker 1: I go over there, and I almost had almost like
Speaker 1: push you over there. So I don't know if that's
Speaker 1: the disappointment as a word, but once you know, I
Speaker 1: had pete on my sisters for it had been nine
Speaker 1: years now since I pete on my sisters, So you
Speaker 1: weren't disappointed. We have to point out the fact that
Speaker 1: we can we just say it as it is now.
Speaker 1: You were not disappointed when I Pete on my sisters.
Speaker 1: I was not disappointed. It's a guy thing. I actually
Speaker 1: totally remember that, and I remember just being I don't
Speaker 1: even know what it was. I can't remember why I
Speaker 1: didn't go up to Larry. But Larry, if you hear this,
Speaker 1: I'm going to find you one day and take a
Speaker 1: picture with you so that my dad can be proud
Speaker 1: of me again. Next question, what are your best tips
Speaker 1: for your children becoming independent slash becoming mature? Let them
Speaker 1: try trial and error, giving them the opportunity talking about it,
Speaker 1: giving advice if they if you feel like it's super
Speaker 1: important for their safety or whatnot, or if it's asked for.
Speaker 1: But I think just giving them the freedom for the
Speaker 1: trial and error. I know this saying is used a lot,
Speaker 1: but it was so tried and true, and that don't
Speaker 1: be afraid to fail. It makes you tougher and you
Speaker 1: learned from every failure. Don't be afraid to fail. Don't
Speaker 1: be afraid to fail. I like that. This next question
Speaker 1: it is uh, it's this one's an interesting one. What's
Speaker 1: the hardest thing that you ever had to say to
Speaker 1: us as kids? Son you're adopted, What was the hardest
Speaker 1: thing I feel like to me if if I if
Speaker 1: I can add my I would say the hardest thing
Speaker 1: that I in my memory that you told us was
Speaker 1: when we came we were driving home from the cruise
Speaker 1: and you told us that that our dog Tate had
Speaker 1: died while we were on our cruise. Yeah. UM, I
Speaker 1: think death is a hard one. Um. You well, you
Speaker 1: weren't born, your and your sisters were young when nana
Speaker 1: um passed away. Um, we had Papa passed away and
Speaker 1: we had passed away. Um. But death is hard and
Speaker 1: even though it's part of life, that one really does
Speaker 1: stand out when Tate when we got off the cruise
Speaker 1: and we knew during the whole cruise because it happened
Speaker 1: at the beginning of the cruise and the person, the
Speaker 1: friend that was watching him for us, was able to
Speaker 1: contact this earlier in the cruise, but we chose not
Speaker 1: to tell you till after. Yeah. I think that's probably
Speaker 1: the hardest in my memory would definitely be Tate when
Speaker 1: when you guys let us know about that. But like
Speaker 1: you mentioned, yeah, unfortunately there's gonna be hard conversations to have.
Speaker 1: But let's let's dance over to some some more fun stuff.
Speaker 1: How did you come up with all of our names.
Speaker 1: So Taylor Taylor's name is Taylor Tamari and Taylor is
Speaker 1: my mom's maiden name, and Tomari is dad's mom's maiden names,
Speaker 1: so she got her grandma's maiden names. Nice Sydney is
Speaker 1: Sydney Lee. Lee is my maiden name, so that was
Speaker 1: her middle name, and Sydney it was actually Grammy's hairdresser.
Speaker 1: We were going to possibly name her Samantha, but I
Speaker 1: just don't love Samantha for her, and then it was
Speaker 1: Grammy's hairdresser said Sydney. And her name is spelled s
Speaker 1: I d any Y because I loved the name Sydney
Speaker 1: and she was not named after Australia. And then you.
Speaker 1: I before, when we had the two girls, I wanted
Speaker 1: a girl named Alex and Dad didn't like that name
Speaker 1: for a girl. So when you were born, actually when
Speaker 1: we were dating, we both liked the name Ian for
Speaker 1: a boy, and when you were born, you just were
Speaker 1: not in Ian, and so I and ion O though,
Speaker 1: that's that's I mean, you can't get a stronger name
Speaker 1: than I and ion Oh. We had said that to
Speaker 1: someone and they said E I E I O and
Speaker 1: so kind of it sounds like. So anyways, when so
Speaker 1: we're like, well, what about alex And then we started
Speaker 1: going We said Martin. I love the name Martin, but
Speaker 1: Dad didn't want that, and so I said, okay, well
Speaker 1: how about Martin Alexander. You're not a junior but and
Speaker 1: we'll call him Alex. And so that's how he came
Speaker 1: up with your name. And then Hallie, right Hallie. I
Speaker 1: wanted to name her Sloan because as I was at
Speaker 1: an amusement park and there were four kids and their
Speaker 1: their kids were Taylor, Sydney, Alex and Sloan no joke.
Speaker 1: When I was pregnant with Hallie, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I love that, and they're all kind of like unisex names,
Speaker 1: and so I was like, okay, we'll do that. And
Speaker 1: then where she was born and um, I said that name,
Speaker 1: and Dad I could just see on his face he
Speaker 1: did not like that name. And but while while I
Speaker 1: was pregnant with Hallie, the second parent Trap came out
Speaker 1: and one of the twins, played by Lindsay Lohan, her
Speaker 1: name was Hallie. And I would watch the credits of
Speaker 1: every movie I watched when I was pregnant with all
Speaker 1: you guys to see the names, and her name was
Speaker 1: Hallie h A L L I E. And that's where
Speaker 1: she came from. I like it. I like it hall
Speaker 1: Elizabeth Elizabeth in her middle name. Good names names for
Speaker 1: some good kids. Um, well, listen, we have time for
Speaker 1: I think one more question, and I want to make
Speaker 1: it a juicy one. This person says, I'm a first
Speaker 1: time parent. How do I stop feeling aulty for standing
Speaker 1: up for my own parenting? For me, it goes back
Speaker 1: to kind of what I did this week, and give
Speaker 1: yourself the space, give yourself the grace and the space
Speaker 1: to be the best you can be. I don't think
Speaker 1: you ever need to apologize. I have a joke I
Speaker 1: always say if I've done something like and I'll be like, oh,
Speaker 1: mother of the Year, I won the award right there,
Speaker 1: allowing myself knowing, Okay, probably wasn't the best parenting or
Speaker 1: my shining is moment as a as a mom, but
Speaker 1: allowing almost make a joke out of it, because all
Speaker 1: I can say is I tried to be my best.
Speaker 1: I've tried to improve. I've watched other people to to
Speaker 1: get tips, read you know this, that and the other
Speaker 1: to try to do the best. But you also have
Speaker 1: to dig down deep get that instinct, that motherly, fatherly
Speaker 1: instinct that is there I believe in anyone, and just
Speaker 1: do your best and give yourself that space, but not
Speaker 1: beat yourself up. That's exactly what I was gonna say.
Speaker 1: Don't beat yourself up. Just put your best foot forward,
Speaker 1: like Mom said, with your motherly or fatherly instincts, trust them,
Speaker 1: and just try to do your best. Don't beat yourself up.
Speaker 1: I would say. My takeaway is that and it's something
Speaker 1: that you guys did. And I think from the beginning
Speaker 1: of this episode you've identified that it's something you did,
Speaker 1: which is um. You obviously had your goals for us.
Speaker 1: You had what you wanted to be as parents, from
Speaker 1: being communicative and leading with love and not necessarily and
Speaker 1: iron fist. And as we grew up and we're adults
Speaker 1: now and we're all everybody in this house except for Mila,
Speaker 1: is now like a full blown adult with our own life.
Speaker 1: You guys excelled in your understanding that you won't be that,
Speaker 1: you won't be perfect. It won't be perfect, We won't
Speaker 1: be perfect. Nothing is going to be perfect. But you guys,
Speaker 1: you guys excelled in and doing your best and and
Speaker 1: really as as cheesy as the line is forgetting the rest. Um.
Speaker 1: But thank you both for taking some holiday time to
Speaker 1: be on this podcast. We're getting paid for this, right,
Speaker 1: so we'll figure stulf thing out after this. Um. But
Speaker 1: right now this is Usually it's with people who are
Speaker 1: promoting projects or anything. UM. But I think you guys
Speaker 1: are just such clowns that let's tell everybody your Instagram
Speaker 1: so that they can find you on Instagram. It's called
Speaker 1: not so shameless promo. Mom, what's your Instagram handle? My
Speaker 1: Instagram is has h e z as in zebra Iona
Speaker 1: has Iona dad Uh It's Martin iona a i O
Speaker 1: n oh and you know me alex Iono. Best part
Speaker 1: about having a weird last name you do not have
Speaker 1: to worry about having a h an interesting tag. Um.
Speaker 1: But guys, thank you so much for coming on. Thank
Speaker 1: you for listening to the podcast. Please make sure you
Speaker 1: rate and subscribe. That is how we grow. I love you, guys.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go enjoy a bunch of cinnamon rolls and
Speaker 1: Mom's chocolate cake. I'll see you guys later weeks. We
Speaker 1: really want you to get the help you need. So
Speaker 1: if you need help, please seek independent advice from a
Speaker 1: competent healthcare or mental health professional. The views and opinions
Speaker 1: expressed in this podcast are solely those of the podcast
Speaker 1: author or individuals participating in the podcast, and do not
Speaker 1: represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees. This podcast
Speaker 1: should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, counseling,
Speaker 1: or therapy. Listening to the podcast does not established doctor
Speaker 1: patient relationship with hosts or guests of ALEXIONO, Let's Get
Speaker 1: Into It or I Heeartmedia. No guarantee is given regarding
Speaker 1: the accuracy of any statements or opinions made on this podcast. Well,
Speaker 1: if that's a doozy