WEBVTT - The Best Advice with Heather + Martin Aiono 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:02.920 My name is Alex, and I have the coolest parents 0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:10.200 in the whole world. No, no, alright, it will be 0:00:10.400 --> 0:00:21.079 alright forever, No, al right, will be all right for ever. 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:27.040 All right, y'all. So I'm actually here with my family 0:00:27.080 --> 0:00:29.560 and Utah for the holidays. I am very, very fortunate, 0:00:29.600 --> 0:00:32.040 as I mentioned in the Christmas episode, that I do 0:00:32.120 --> 0:00:34.680 get to spend the holidays with my family, and I 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:36.600 thought this would be the perfect time for me to 0:00:36.640 --> 0:00:39.760 actually do the episode that I've really really been wanting 0:00:39.760 --> 0:00:42.440 to do since I started this podcast. I want to 0:00:42.479 --> 0:00:45.519 introduce you to my parents, but actually, like just me 0:00:45.560 --> 0:00:49.080 tell you about them before you actually meet them. I 0:00:49.159 --> 0:00:50.959 was the only boy, so I didn't have to ever 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:53.440 fight for like my dad's attention, or I never had 0:00:53.440 --> 0:00:55.680 to like fight for tickets to the basketball game or 0:00:55.680 --> 0:00:58.000 the football game. Um. But I got to just hang 0:00:58.040 --> 0:00:59.720 out with my sisters, and I got to really get 0:00:59.760 --> 0:01:03.800 into much with the beauty that is femininity and the 0:01:03.840 --> 0:01:06.280 beauty that is women, and I got to be a 0:01:06.280 --> 0:01:09.120 real true mama's boy. And and my sisters taught me 0:01:09.120 --> 0:01:11.480 how to talk to girls and how to dress and 0:01:11.480 --> 0:01:14.160 and uh and it was really a great setup. And 0:01:14.160 --> 0:01:15.760 and if you know me at all, You'll know that 0:01:15.800 --> 0:01:20.039 I always say that it's my favorite thing about my 0:01:20.120 --> 0:01:23.240 life is my family and my parents, including that. Um So, 0:01:23.400 --> 0:01:25.840 I thought it would be an incredible idea to have 0:01:25.920 --> 0:01:28.720 my parents on here and to talk about what it 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:30.800 was like being their kid, and talk about what is 0:01:30.840 --> 0:01:34.400 like having them as parents, and then talking about, you know, 0:01:34.480 --> 0:01:36.920 what life is like now that I am twenty four 0:01:37.000 --> 0:01:39.399 years old and I as much as I'm still a 0:01:39.400 --> 0:01:42.319 mama's boy and I'm still the best son in the world. 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:44.640 How like they also happened to be like my best 0:01:44.680 --> 0:01:46.840 friends in the whole world. So it got me thinking, 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:50.320 if you could ask your parents anything, what would you 0:01:50.360 --> 0:01:55.640 ask them? What's up? Y'all? It's alex I. Oh no, 0:01:55.760 --> 0:01:58.080 this is my podcast. Let's get into it where we 0:01:58.160 --> 0:02:01.600 really talk about everything, and we don't We talk about 0:02:01.640 --> 0:02:04.560 everything regardless of who's in the room, including my old 0:02:04.600 --> 0:02:08.560 mom and dad. We're gonna have a great time today. 0:02:08.680 --> 0:02:10.160 I'm gonna paint the picture for you. So I'm at 0:02:10.200 --> 0:02:12.600 my parents house. We have Mila and Sydney and Taylor 0:02:12.600 --> 0:02:15.000 and Halle and the outside trying their best to not 0:02:15.080 --> 0:02:17.760 make noise, but with a one year old that's pretty tough. 0:02:17.800 --> 0:02:20.400 So if you hear anything coming from outside, that's what 0:02:20.520 --> 0:02:23.800 it is. But also here in this room, I've got 0:02:23.840 --> 0:02:26.200 my two favorite people on earth, and I'm going to 0:02:26.280 --> 0:02:29.600 introduce you to them now. First up, she is not 0:02:29.680 --> 0:02:31.720 only the best mom in the world, but she's also 0:02:31.880 --> 0:02:36.600 the best customer support agent at Purple Mattresses. She makes 0:02:36.600 --> 0:02:41.079 an incredible chocolate cake, and she's most likely gonna cry 0:02:41.360 --> 0:02:44.960 during this episode. My mom, Heather, I own, Oh what's up? Mom? 0:02:45.280 --> 0:02:51.160 Thanks first setting me up? And she's crying. And Uh, 0:02:51.280 --> 0:02:53.359 the man that she's been with for the last twenty 0:02:53.440 --> 0:02:56.920 nine years, twenty eight years, twenty nine years, thirty years. 0:02:56.960 --> 0:03:01.040 More than that, he is my best friend. He is 0:03:01.440 --> 0:03:05.000 my number one fan. And um, he taught me how 0:03:05.000 --> 0:03:07.120 to gamble and I won some money last time I 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:10.400 was in Vegas thanks to that teaching. Uh, my dad, 0:03:10.600 --> 0:03:13.799 Martin Ion, know what's up? Dad? How are you all right? Son? 0:03:14.080 --> 0:03:16.200 Good to be here, and I'm glad that you had 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:19.720 a successful weekend this weekend Vegas. So we have some 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:22.240 We have three interesting topics to talk about. First one 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:25.440 is New Year. Knew you in quotes again? Uh that 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:28.160 we're gonna be talking about the big important questions. And lastly, 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:30.519 we have an A m A which is asked Me anything, 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:32.600 or in this case it's an A M P A, 0:03:32.600 --> 0:03:35.560 ask my parents anything. I went on Instagram and ask 0:03:35.640 --> 0:03:38.840 you guys to give us some questions that you've always 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:40.680 maybe wanted to ask your parents or things that you 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:43.440 were scared to ask your parents. And my parents are 0:03:43.440 --> 0:03:45.000 going to do the heavy lifting for all of us, 0:03:45.040 --> 0:03:47.200 which is great. But before we get into that, I 0:03:47.240 --> 0:03:49.080 have a question that I ask all of my guests, 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:51.360 and that question is what are you doing this week 0:03:51.560 --> 0:03:56.200 to improve yourself? I will start this week. I've been 0:03:56.240 --> 0:03:58.760 really focusing on this something my therapist and I talked 0:03:58.760 --> 0:04:01.200 about a lot, because I think he says I have 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:04.120 anticipatory anxiety and what I what comes with that is 0:04:04.160 --> 0:04:07.000 I always focus on what's next, or what's coming or 0:04:07.080 --> 0:04:09.480 or the future. And one of the biggest things that 0:04:09.520 --> 0:04:11.800 I've been working on, especially this week leading up to 0:04:11.920 --> 0:04:16.159 the holidays, and usually for me, there's twenty million things 0:04:16.200 --> 0:04:18.479 to do on my holiday's list, and I want to 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:20.840 make sure I get every single one of them done. Um, 0:04:20.880 --> 0:04:22.480 but the biggest thing that I've been focusing on is 0:04:22.520 --> 0:04:24.640 doing what's right in front of me. Doing the first 0:04:24.680 --> 0:04:27.200 like what's like the next thing only and not focusing 0:04:27.200 --> 0:04:30.360 on what comes after that. So that's how I've been 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:33.039 trying to improve my life this week. But now that 0:04:33.080 --> 0:04:35.360 you guys have an example, Mom, do you have something 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:38.160 I do, it kind of goes a little bit along 0:04:38.200 --> 0:04:41.279 with yours. I was stressed with this week, starting with 0:04:41.400 --> 0:04:44.920 trying to get Christmas perfect. You know, it's like my 0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:48.640 favorite holiday. I want to make sure everyone is equal 0:04:48.839 --> 0:04:52.080 and fair. We have the right amount of presents. Yeah, 0:04:52.120 --> 0:04:55.039 you definitely, you always my mom. Make sure that you 0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:58.080 always have like everybody has the same amount of presents, 0:04:58.120 --> 0:05:00.880 like nobody has one more one lass. But it's also 0:05:00.960 --> 0:05:04.159 fed into me my sisters like death. If she ever 0:05:04.240 --> 0:05:06.000 does mess up and one of us gets one more, 0:05:06.080 --> 0:05:08.720 one less than she never hears the end of it. 0:05:08.920 --> 0:05:12.680 So true. So with everything being as it is this year, 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:15.200 I had to let go is what I had to 0:05:15.200 --> 0:05:19.600 do this week and realize it couldn't be exactly how 0:05:19.640 --> 0:05:22.360 I wanted it to be, like with gifts, and just 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:27.080 focus on being present. I actually have for the first time. 0:05:27.160 --> 0:05:30.640 I have everything wrapped. I have our ball game that 0:05:30.680 --> 0:05:33.000 we play every year. It is like in the closet 0:05:33.040 --> 0:05:36.280 ready to go. I'm usually making that ball Christmas Eve 0:05:36.320 --> 0:05:39.799 at midnight. It's already so I can be present since 0:05:39.880 --> 0:05:42.600 everyone is now here in Utah with us. I like it. 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:45.160 And that was my That was my when I had 0:05:45.160 --> 0:05:46.960 a few weeks ago, as I got my Christmas shopping 0:05:46.960 --> 0:05:50.320 done super early. Dad, what you got? Um? Mine is 0:05:50.400 --> 0:05:53.039 kind of similar to mom. I really want to be 0:05:53.120 --> 0:05:57.120 present and appreciate all four of my kids and my 0:05:57.200 --> 0:06:01.320 amazing son in law, and especially my grand baby. And 0:06:01.360 --> 0:06:04.479 so I just want to sit back and absorb, take 0:06:04.520 --> 0:06:08.120 it all in and enjoy the company and and the 0:06:08.160 --> 0:06:11.680 spirit of each of them. Nice. That's those are Those 0:06:11.680 --> 0:06:13.640 are good ones to have, and they're great ways for 0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:16.160 us to get straight into it because as much as 0:06:16.160 --> 0:06:18.880 we try and do things every week to make ourselves better, 0:06:18.920 --> 0:06:23.159 we are coming to the ultimate day of of doing 0:06:23.240 --> 0:06:25.840 things to be better, which is New Year's Day. Everybody's 0:06:25.839 --> 0:06:29.440 got resolutions, and we're here now talking about New Year. 0:06:29.839 --> 0:06:32.520 New you just to kind of we'll we'll break the ice, 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:34.080 will get comfortable, and then we can get into some 0:06:34.120 --> 0:06:37.839 more juicy parents stuff. UM, so let's do it. A 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:40.440 lot of people have advice about New Year's resolutions. Um, 0:06:40.520 --> 0:06:42.760 some people don't like the New Years resolutions. Recently, actually 0:06:42.800 --> 0:06:45.360 haven't really been into Year's resolutions because I feel like 0:06:45.920 --> 0:06:47.599 the way that I used to do them, which was 0:06:47.680 --> 0:06:51.320 like every day I'm working out starting today, and I 0:06:51.440 --> 0:06:53.320 realized that I would just totally fall off the wagon 0:06:53.360 --> 0:06:56.080 by the second week of February or even the second 0:06:56.080 --> 0:06:58.000 week of January or what about you guys? Are you 0:06:58.000 --> 0:07:02.960 guys resolutions people? Um, I've never been one like write 0:07:03.040 --> 0:07:06.400 it down, keep track of it that way. I definitely 0:07:07.000 --> 0:07:09.240 make goals in my head of things that I want 0:07:09.279 --> 0:07:13.239 to do, but I try to give myself some grace 0:07:13.400 --> 0:07:17.120 in if I if I fail, even if it's quickly 0:07:17.200 --> 0:07:20.240 on in the year, and just also know that it's 0:07:20.240 --> 0:07:26.000 okay to reassess and restart. I like that dad. I 0:07:26.200 --> 0:07:28.720 used to Mom knows there was a place in Hawaii 0:07:28.800 --> 0:07:31.840 that I'd like to be um New Year's Eve too 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:35.120 and write down my goals for that year. But at 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:37.320 that time, I think I was looking more for structure 0:07:37.720 --> 0:07:42.080 in my life. These days, I think starting uh fifty 0:07:42.120 --> 0:07:44.200 two times a year is a lot easier on me, 0:07:44.320 --> 0:07:46.600 and so I feel like I could start all over 0:07:46.680 --> 0:07:50.600 each week starting quick. With some wisdom there Martin, I 0:07:50.640 --> 0:07:52.280 feel like sometimes for New Years, at least for me, 0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:55.360 I'll spend half of the time thinking about the year 0:07:55.400 --> 0:07:57.040 that just happened, and then I'll spend the other half 0:07:57.040 --> 0:07:58.400 of the time thinking, Okay, what do I want to 0:07:58.400 --> 0:08:00.320 do this year? What's coming up this year? Um? But 0:08:00.400 --> 0:08:02.679 this year, I feel like it's pretty it's pretty easy 0:08:02.720 --> 0:08:04.800 for me to want to just think about what's next 0:08:04.800 --> 0:08:07.520 and trying to figure out what's coming up after this. 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:09.360 But that being said, what do you think is the 0:08:09.400 --> 0:08:11.280 most important thing that you guys learned in a year 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:15.640 like this that was super weird and super dividing, and 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:18.040 a lot of bad stuff happened, and it definitely wasn't 0:08:18.040 --> 0:08:21.320 the year that any of us were expecting it to be. Um, 0:08:21.560 --> 0:08:24.480 I think it, just like I said before, kind of 0:08:24.520 --> 0:08:28.160 to let go, let go of those preconceived things you 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:30.480 think have to happen, and you have to let go 0:08:30.600 --> 0:08:33.080 because we weren't in control. There were so many things 0:08:33.120 --> 0:08:36.760 that normally were in control of that we actually weren't 0:08:36.760 --> 0:08:38.559 in control of this year, and we had to let 0:08:38.559 --> 0:08:41.440 go and try to find the happiness in the joy 0:08:41.559 --> 0:08:44.840 and what we did have control in, and also to 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:49.520 keep it simple life was super simple for most of 0:08:49.559 --> 0:08:52.400 the year. That being said, there were some very hard 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:55.040 times and sad times when we couldn't be together, but 0:08:55.160 --> 0:08:57.440 we would just make the best of it. When we 0:08:57.600 --> 0:08:59.560 one of us was down, I feel like we tried 0:08:59.600 --> 0:09:02.640 to all the rest pick up and pick up the 0:09:02.640 --> 0:09:05.520 pieces and just try to stay positive and keep it simple. 0:09:06.840 --> 0:09:09.680 I agree. I agree. It's a very different year, but 0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:12.600 you can look at it as the glass half empty 0:09:12.679 --> 0:09:17.560 or that glass half full. We uh, your parents, We've 0:09:17.640 --> 0:09:20.160 got to spend a lot more time this year together 0:09:20.640 --> 0:09:24.360 than we ever have probably in our whole marriage, and 0:09:24.400 --> 0:09:26.760 that's because of a lot of the circumstances this year. 0:09:28.000 --> 0:09:29.760 Well look at that. You guys are the first people 0:09:29.800 --> 0:09:32.199 have been on the show that aren't like this year sucked, 0:09:32.679 --> 0:09:35.439 including me. So all right, Well, now that we have 0:09:35.600 --> 0:09:39.520 broken that ice, let's get into parenting. It's what we 0:09:39.520 --> 0:09:41.280 have that connects us to You guys are my parents. 0:09:41.280 --> 0:09:43.400 So um, I feel like there's so many things that 0:09:43.480 --> 0:09:46.040 I've thought of in my own childhood into my young 0:09:46.080 --> 0:09:47.840 adulthood of like, oh, I want to make sure I 0:09:47.880 --> 0:09:49.800 do that when I have a kid, or like I 0:09:49.840 --> 0:09:52.040 want to make sure that I treat my kid like this, 0:09:52.160 --> 0:09:54.480 or my kid always feels like this when you guys 0:09:54.480 --> 0:09:57.120 are growing up, Like, what were your thoughts about that? 0:09:57.200 --> 0:09:59.920 Was there anything specific? And we'll start with you, dad, 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:01.640 that like that made you go like, oh man, when 0:10:01.640 --> 0:10:04.360 I become a dad, I definitely want to be this, 0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:08.320 or like I definitely want to teach my kids this. Yeah. 0:10:08.400 --> 0:10:12.240 As a matter of fact, when I was dating your mom, 0:10:12.360 --> 0:10:14.880 we decided we dated for two weeks and decided to 0:10:14.920 --> 0:10:16.880 get married. Oh yeah, we didn't even get to that 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:19.480 part yet. There's a long we're gonna go. We're gonna 0:10:19.480 --> 0:10:21.840 crack into that in just a sect, but go continue on. 0:10:22.200 --> 0:10:25.200 In that two weeks, one of the things she shared 0:10:25.240 --> 0:10:28.679 with me was that she'd never gotten a spanking from 0:10:28.720 --> 0:10:33.120 her parents, and that blew me away. Um, you know, 0:10:33.240 --> 0:10:37.400 being from a Polynesian background when I grew up, my 0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:40.880 my dad lad with the iron hand, and so I 0:10:40.920 --> 0:10:43.040 couldn't understand it when she told me, and I thought 0:10:43.120 --> 0:10:46.760 she was joking. But as we spoke a lot more 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:49.640 in depth about it, I made it a goal. I 0:10:49.840 --> 0:10:52.360 said to myself, I want to be a parent that 0:10:52.440 --> 0:10:58.120 doesn't punish his children physically, and I want to lead 0:10:58.160 --> 0:11:01.760 my family without the eye in hand, I can proudly 0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:04.840 say other than two times, which both I deserved it. 0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:07.240 One I pete on my sisters and two I choked 0:11:07.240 --> 0:11:11.160 my sisters with my bare hands. Just just hallie, just hallie. 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:13.600 That was true. You did, you did a good job. 0:11:13.679 --> 0:11:17.000 So congratulations on that, Mom. Do you have anything specific? 0:11:18.000 --> 0:11:20.080 I think I just wanted to have. I grew up 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:23.360 with great parents who I knew loved me. But I 0:11:23.400 --> 0:11:26.360 think one it's a it was a generational thing. Is 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:29.480 I wanted to be able to communicate because I felt 0:11:29.520 --> 0:11:33.040 like there was a lot of times and still as 0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:37.920 a struggle in my family to always have open and 0:11:38.040 --> 0:11:41.920 honest communication because I feel like that's the only way 0:11:41.960 --> 0:11:45.280 to truly be happy and to truly love each other, 0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:49.640 and especially love each other unconditional, which is so important 0:11:49.640 --> 0:11:53.560 to me in capitalizing on on that communication, son, I 0:11:53.600 --> 0:11:56.079 think the most important thing you mentioned the two times 0:11:56.679 --> 0:12:00.719 that you were spanked, but more importantly was the communication 0:12:01.000 --> 0:12:03.520 and how it played out, because, for instance, the very 0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:06.360 first time was when you peet on your sisters because 0:12:06.360 --> 0:12:09.760 they wouldn't let you play with them, and we can 0:12:09.760 --> 0:12:12.280 all agree that was probably a pretty valid reason to 0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:17.120 be on them. Yes, and uh, but not the right 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:21.840 to take um. However, I knew how you were feeling. 0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:25.400 But if you remember, we gathered as a family and 0:12:25.440 --> 0:12:28.400 had a family meeting. We had a full family. It 0:12:28.480 --> 0:12:31.640 was a full situation, and we discussed what had taken 0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:34.600 place and and uh, what you had done, and we 0:12:34.679 --> 0:12:37.640 also discussed what you thought would be the right amount 0:12:37.720 --> 0:12:44.079 of spankings. Uh, these are bare butt spankings. And by 0:12:44.120 --> 0:12:46.440 the way, I want you to know the seriousness of 0:12:46.440 --> 0:12:50.320 this spanking. You got to choose, and I don't know why. Yeah, 0:12:50.440 --> 0:12:52.439 at three years old, for some reason, you chose the 0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:57.000 number four. And I remember my heart dropping and going, well, 0:12:57.040 --> 0:12:59.800 that's a lot, okay, he said, four kids, and and 0:13:00.280 --> 0:13:04.240 I chose four spanking had known I was a weirdo 0:13:04.280 --> 0:13:06.640 of back then. I was like giving four of them. 0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:11.400 Your sisters were all crying after the first everybody's crying. 0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:16.760 First crying, I'm crying, girls crying. Dad's crying. Yeah, that's tears. 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:19.199 Hit my ass, my bare ass, and it hurt a 0:13:19.240 --> 0:13:21.600 little bit more, staying a little more, didn't it, gave 0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:23.719 it a little gave it a little stinger. And then 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:26.720 the second time was very very similar, very similar. After 0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:30.720 choking Hallie and I thought she had stolen I thought 0:13:30.720 --> 0:13:32.400 she had stolen my candy. And I think that's a 0:13:32.400 --> 0:13:35.720 pretty valid punishment for the accusation of stealing. And I 0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:39.400 think we had warned him once, like a really good warnings. 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:44.600 What do you mean? But that also, if you recall, 0:13:45.200 --> 0:13:48.560 took a lot of communicating and explaining to you why 0:13:48.600 --> 0:13:52.760 it was happening. Once again, you got to choose, and um, 0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:56.800 luckily you didn't choose four. You just chose three. Learned 0:13:56.840 --> 0:13:58.400 my last and the fourth one is when the tear 0:13:58.520 --> 0:14:01.319 was on my ass and it hurt. The good news 0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:03.040 is that both of you guys's goals that you had 0:14:03.200 --> 0:14:06.520 have come true because we are all great at communicating, 0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:09.439 all all six of us. I guess all eight of 0:14:09.520 --> 0:14:12.240 us now including Mela is very good at communicating when 0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:14.680 she wants stuff. But I want to go back a 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:17.080 little bit because you talked about, and I'm so used 0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:19.000 to it that that that's how you and mom met 0:14:19.000 --> 0:14:21.520 and how you guys got married. But when people here 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:23.720 that after two weeks of dating you decided you're going 0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:27.720 to get married, uh, most people's jaws just dropped to 0:14:27.760 --> 0:14:29.320 the floor. So we need to hear a little bit 0:14:29.360 --> 0:14:32.840 more about how that all went down. The first night 0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:39.080 we went out, we kissed, and the next fourteen days 0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:40.960 there wasn't a day that went by it we didn't 0:14:40.960 --> 0:14:45.240 see each other. And on the fourteenth day, right around there, 0:14:45.400 --> 0:14:47.160 we were on our way to the gym, it was 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:50.840 like six third in the morning, and uh, I asked 0:14:50.880 --> 0:14:55.840 you how seriously you felt about us? And you paused 0:14:55.880 --> 0:14:58.400 and thought about it, and then you said, I'm seriously 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:00.640 enough that if you were to ask me married now, 0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:04.920 I'd say yes, and that's it. And I said, well, 0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:10.000 it's own, let's get married. That is true. I was 0:15:10.120 --> 0:15:14.680 nineteen um and wasn't looking to get married by any means. 0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:17.480 But when it's right and it's the time, it's the time, 0:15:17.560 --> 0:15:21.320 you know it. We were married almost a year from 0:15:21.360 --> 0:15:24.360 that date. That is the exact reason why I told 0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:27.280 so many women that I loved them, because my parents 0:15:27.320 --> 0:15:30.040 had that as the preface of what it is to 0:15:30.080 --> 0:15:34.160 get married. So Uh, any girls who are hurt from 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:36.040 the fact that I told them I loved them and 0:15:36.040 --> 0:15:39.240 then probably broke up with them within that year, I 0:15:39.280 --> 0:15:42.760 want you to know. That's why don't blame me, blame 0:15:42.800 --> 0:15:45.880 my parents. It's their fault. And then you guys. You 0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:48.200 guys got married, So how do you before we get 0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:51.000 into the parenting stuff, how do you guys feel what 0:15:51.320 --> 0:15:56.040 is the secret to having a successful and happy marriage? Man, 0:15:56.120 --> 0:15:59.240 that was such a loaded question, that pretty loaded. I 0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:03.720 would say, once again, communication. You know, we've definitely had 0:16:03.760 --> 0:16:06.400 a lot of bumps along the road and in our 0:16:06.480 --> 0:16:09.680 thirty years. But a couple of things that come to 0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:14.160 mind for me. Um A term that Dad introduced to 0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:21.280 me was brutal honesty, and it's not always fun, but 0:16:21.480 --> 0:16:25.920 it's definitely successful in a relationship. So I would say 0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:34.400 brutal honesty, communication, and forgiveness and fight for what you want. 0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:38.840 Definitely fight for what you want. And we were just 0:16:38.880 --> 0:16:41.480 talking about it, as we talk about it quite often, 0:16:41.640 --> 0:16:46.520 how grateful we feel that we've had such an amazing 0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:50.160 life so far, and how much we love our family 0:16:50.160 --> 0:16:53.120 and our children and to watch them grow, to watch 0:16:53.200 --> 0:16:58.360 them find happiness. And after thirty years, I can honestly 0:16:58.440 --> 0:17:01.440 say that I love your other more than I loved 0:17:01.440 --> 0:17:04.880 her the day I married her. No, it's really it's 0:17:04.920 --> 0:17:07.760 real though, it is true. I feel exactly the same. 0:17:08.080 --> 0:17:12.159 We talked about it often. That makes me very very 0:17:12.160 --> 0:17:14.240 happy to hear so I think the reason why a 0:17:14.280 --> 0:17:16.320 lot of people listen to this podcast and the reason 0:17:16.320 --> 0:17:20.400 why I wanted people to hear this conversation was because 0:17:20.440 --> 0:17:22.480 a lot of people grow and learn over time, and 0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:25.000 especially younger people are growing and learning over time. And 0:17:25.040 --> 0:17:28.440 I don't think that that's necessarily something in my conversations 0:17:28.520 --> 0:17:32.600 with plenty of older people and and including both of you, 0:17:32.680 --> 0:17:36.760 including old friends and Sandy and Mickey uh saying that 0:17:36.760 --> 0:17:38.880 that's like the most important thing is that you continue growing, 0:17:38.920 --> 0:17:40.919 you continue learning, And I think that that's something that 0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:43.920 plays into, um, what you both had mentioned of like, 0:17:44.040 --> 0:17:47.040 you know, communicating and fighting for what you really want. 0:17:47.240 --> 0:17:49.840 And I think those are the foundations of things that 0:17:49.840 --> 0:17:53.280 that should not ever stop happening. UM, So what are 0:17:53.280 --> 0:17:56.040 ways that you guys continue learning on your own and 0:17:56.080 --> 0:17:59.440 also together? I would say, you know, I would learn 0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:04.119 a lot actually watching you guys, watching the kids and 0:18:04.200 --> 0:18:08.000 listening and you guys open my mind to things that 0:18:08.040 --> 0:18:11.960 are very current and ways of thinking that we weren't raised, 0:18:12.000 --> 0:18:15.840 but we keep it, keep an open mind, and UM, 0:18:16.200 --> 0:18:21.400 love growing in that way and love just learning all 0:18:21.400 --> 0:18:24.119 the time watching other people, and I think talking about 0:18:24.119 --> 0:18:27.879 it too. You know, once again, like I think old 0:18:27.880 --> 0:18:31.120 school says, you know, you don't talk about your issues, 0:18:31.160 --> 0:18:34.120 you don't talk about what you've been through, but you're 0:18:34.920 --> 0:18:38.480 what you're feeling. And I think now it's so important 0:18:38.520 --> 0:18:41.800 that you just have to not hold anything in and 0:18:41.920 --> 0:18:45.600 just communicate, open up. I think another great thing that 0:18:45.800 --> 0:18:50.959 your mom's taught me is the difference between reacting and responding. 0:18:52.320 --> 0:18:55.000 Such a big difference. And I'd say I was a 0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:58.440 pretty reactive young man, you know, early in her marriage, 0:18:58.480 --> 0:19:01.080 and she's she's taught me how to respond to things 0:19:01.200 --> 0:19:05.320 rather than react right right, and and that's I think 0:19:05.320 --> 0:19:07.960 those are nice things to to not only have with 0:19:08.000 --> 0:19:10.640 each other in a marriage, but also, uh, the reason 0:19:10.720 --> 0:19:14.200 why you're here on this podcast is because it's also 0:19:14.280 --> 0:19:17.200 good things to have, like as a parent. So what 0:19:17.240 --> 0:19:22.159 was it like raising us? Most importantly me, Well, I 0:19:22.200 --> 0:19:24.199 have a scene and Dad always kind of rolls his 0:19:24.240 --> 0:19:26.520 eyes a little bit, and I've altered it over the 0:19:26.600 --> 0:19:28.280 years because I always just say, oh, I have I 0:19:28.320 --> 0:19:31.520 have perfect kids, and Dad would roll his eyes. No 0:19:31.560 --> 0:19:34.080 one is perfect, we know that, but my scene is 0:19:34.359 --> 0:19:39.400 I have four perfect in my eyes children. So I think, 0:19:39.520 --> 0:19:43.040 you know, initially when we first had Taylor and we 0:19:43.040 --> 0:19:45.840 were so young, we really wanted it to be like, Okay, 0:19:46.480 --> 0:19:49.119 obviously it's she's going to change our lives, but we 0:19:49.160 --> 0:19:51.200 don't want it to change it in things that we 0:19:51.320 --> 0:19:53.800 enjoy doing. We wanted you all to be included in 0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:56.480 our lives and what we do. UM, and I think 0:19:57.680 --> 0:19:59.199 that was like a big thing with us. You know, 0:19:59.280 --> 0:20:02.320 obviously there were times and places where it wasn't appropriate 0:20:02.400 --> 0:20:05.840 to bring four little kids to certain events, but as 0:20:05.880 --> 0:20:08.359 long as it was appropriate, you guys were there with us, 0:20:08.440 --> 0:20:12.400 and we just went appropriate included you in our lives 0:20:12.600 --> 0:20:15.199 so you could, you know, experience the things that we 0:20:15.280 --> 0:20:18.440 loved that you guys were there with us. I'm looking 0:20:18.440 --> 0:20:20.920 at that picture behind you of Mom and the four 0:20:20.960 --> 0:20:24.600 of you, and I remember, um, that years right around 0:20:24.600 --> 0:20:28.600 two thousand, wasn't it? Wasn't it two thousand and UM? 0:20:28.720 --> 0:20:32.399 I can recall that we hadn't even purchased our first 0:20:32.440 --> 0:20:37.760 home yet. Um. We did later that year, but looking 0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:42.159 at that picture, I reflect back and think, man, we 0:20:42.200 --> 0:20:45.280 had it all back then. We It wasn't about getting 0:20:45.320 --> 0:20:49.359 the new house or building the new house or any 0:20:49.359 --> 0:20:53.440 other material things. It was just having our family together 0:20:53.640 --> 0:20:57.840 and being happy. That's nice, that's super tight. I mean, 0:20:57.880 --> 0:21:00.679 I think that that's something that I wanted to ask you, 0:21:00.800 --> 0:21:03.639 dad about, because you mentioned like back then when we 0:21:03.680 --> 0:21:05.399 didn't own a house or we didn't have this, we 0:21:05.440 --> 0:21:08.160 didn't have that before we kind of had all grown 0:21:08.240 --> 0:21:10.520 up and I got to live the super luxurious life 0:21:10.560 --> 0:21:16.440 that I did as a child. Then, thank you, thank you. 0:21:17.119 --> 0:21:23.560 Um But but but in seriousness, our household was pretty traditional, 0:21:23.640 --> 0:21:26.200 I guess I'll say in the sense that mom, once 0:21:26.240 --> 0:21:28.720