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Speaker 1: You don't hear me confession, I can't take back all

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Speaker 1: arms mouse speaker.

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Speaker 2: I got a text to sevent eighty five nine too

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Speaker 2: that says I haven't told anyone this, but I have

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Speaker 2: a secret crush on Jose and I moved to his apartment.

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Speaker 2: I live on the same floor as him, and I

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Speaker 2: watch him come home every day through my peephole. I

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Speaker 2: need courage to finally say something to stalker ahead.

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Speaker 3: I was just telling you lex as I met a

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Speaker 3: girl in the elevator with her dog the other.

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Speaker 2: N Yeah, you need to knock on all the doors

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Speaker 2: as you go down the way down, she says. Ps.

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Speaker 2: I'm a Victoria's Secret model who finds lazy men extremely attractive.

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Speaker 2: Someone for everyone.

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Speaker 1: Bring your dog.

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Speaker 2: But if you have a big confession or a secret

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Speaker 2: crush you'd like to get out in the open, you

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Speaker 2: could do it here on the mass speaker. We actually

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Speaker 2: have two people who both want to come clean today,

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Speaker 2: So we're going to start with a guy who wants

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Speaker 2: to be called Seth. Seth, you also been crushing on Jose. No, no,

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Speaker 2: that is a quick no, but I still feel very

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Speaker 2: love Well's set The voice changer is on. You're now

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Speaker 2: the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession.

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Speaker 1: All right, this was a couple of years ago. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I had a roommate back in college. This guy was

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Speaker 1: the worst, absolutely we can.

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Speaker 4: All think of one.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so was was he really messy?

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Speaker 2: What was his deal?

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Speaker 1: Well, you know, I didn't know the guy before we

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Speaker 1: matched up his roommates and we have to share a

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Speaker 1: small room. And yeah, he'd leave his clothes everywhere, you know,

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Speaker 1: empty glass bottles all over the place.

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Speaker 5: Right, pretty typical dorm stuff.

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Speaker 2: Is that adjustment when it's like mom isn't here to

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Speaker 2: help me anymore? And yeah, I'm like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: I don't tell you.

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Speaker 5: There's some forty five year old men who are still

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Speaker 5: as yep.

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Speaker 1: And this guy he never left the room either.

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Speaker 2: So okay, if.

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Speaker 1: I had people over, he'd get pitched. You know, he'd

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Speaker 1: get really upset too.

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Speaker 5: Okay, so he was real social, not a nice guy.

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Speaker 1: It's not very nice.

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to lay in garbage. Don't people over here.

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Speaker 2: It's embarrassing. I mean, I had a bad roommate when

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Speaker 2: I was in college to actually two of them, and

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Speaker 2: you just kind of have to live with it. For

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Speaker 2: a lot the whole year until you get afford to

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Speaker 2: like kick him out, Like, what do you do?

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Speaker 1: Seth. I told one of my friends about him, and

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Speaker 1: my friend said, dude, I can help you get him

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Speaker 1: out of here.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: So we came up with a plan, which I guess

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Speaker 1: looking back was kind of immature, but it was really

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Speaker 1: funny to us.

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Speaker 5: Though, Please don't tell me you got him like totally

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Speaker 5: kicked out of college or something.

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Speaker 1: What happened, Well, we had bunk beds and I was

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Speaker 1: on the top. Yeah, and my friend who was helping me,

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Speaker 1: would come in late at night after this other roommate

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Speaker 1: dude went to sleep, and he'd hide underneath the bed

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Speaker 1: and then start shaking it an id yell earthquake, earthquake, that's.

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Speaker 2: Really so he'd like wake up in a terror.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I jump out and run out of the room.

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Speaker 1: And we did it so often that we had other

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Speaker 1: people on the floor run out and do it too.

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Speaker 2: No, it's an earthquake, drill. Why is there like seventeen

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Speaker 2: earthquakes this month?

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Speaker 1: We told everybody the school was built on a fault line.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: And eventually my roommate said, he's just not sleeping. Well,

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Speaker 1: it's gotten really bad and he decided to move back

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Speaker 1: home and do college online.

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Speaker 3: Ah well, yeah, even if he did figure it out,

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Speaker 3: it'd be like, all right, obviously everyone.

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Speaker 2: Here doesn't want me here. That's great that it worked.

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Speaker 2: Do you feel a little bit bad though?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: You changed his whole.

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Speaker 1: Life out a little bit. But I bet you he's

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Speaker 1: home anchoring of his fur.

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Speaker 2: Wow. But let's let's go to our next mass speaker.

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Speaker 2: She's chosen the name Connie for herself. Connie, welcome to

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Speaker 2: the show. Hi, Hey, Connie, how are you feeling.

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Speaker 4: I'm excited to get this off my chest, but.

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Speaker 5: A little in their Okay, you don't sound proud right now?

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Speaker 2: Well, your voice changer is on, Connie, you're the mass speaker.

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Speaker 2: Whenever you ready, let's hear your confession.

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Speaker 4: So this starts actually like three years ago, I was

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Speaker 4: driving to work, jerk cutting off in traffic.

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Speaker 1: That was.

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Speaker 2: That was definitely Jose.

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Speaker 5: Before I'm breaking out, I apologize on behalf of all

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Speaker 5: of us, one of us though, well.

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Speaker 4: I don't think it was one of you guys because

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Speaker 4: of what happened next. So I didn't want to confront

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Speaker 4: them or like get into a fight or anything. But

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Speaker 4: I'm really mad and I started to follow them.

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Speaker 5: God, this is not worth your underg Connie.

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Speaker 4: I know it's three years ago, but I'm still saying,

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Speaker 4: let it go.

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Speaker 2: Road rage is real, though. Yeah, sometimes you can't help you.

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Speaker 4: No, seriously, you need to listen to our show.

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Speaker 2: This is the rage happened. Yeah, you followed this person.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I followed them, like off the highway into a neighborhood.

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Speaker 2: What, oh my god.

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Speaker 4: They pulled into a driveway and I see it's a

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Speaker 4: guy that gets out of his car and he goes

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Speaker 4: into his house.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'm scared, like I feel like she slashed tires.

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Speaker 2: Please tell me you didn't do it. You just drove away.

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Speaker 4: Well I did wait that day, but what is wrong

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Speaker 4: with you? You're still sitting with it twenty four hours later.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, you're gonna think I'm so petty. But

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Speaker 4: now every day on my way to work, I actually

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Speaker 4: go out of my way and drive by this guy's

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Speaker 4: house and I throw my gum in his driveway.

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Speaker 3: This is good because it's such a small thing that

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Speaker 3: just adds up and it never confuses him every day, Like,

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Speaker 3: why is there always gum in the driveway for three years?

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Speaker 2: Were you've been taking up extra gas extra time?

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Speaker 3: I hate I love it.

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Speaker 4: I probably knew it about three times a week because

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Speaker 4: I never do it if I see his car in

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Speaker 4: the driveway, I don't want to do it if he's gone.

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Speaker 2: So now it's reasonable, it's smart. You don't want witnesses.

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Speaker 4: Well over three years, you know that's a lot of gum.

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Speaker 2: How long are you going to be doing this for

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Speaker 2: another like fifteen twenty years. When are you going to

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Speaker 2: say that it's even he's gotten his for cutting you off?

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Speaker 4: I don't know, because at first it was like a

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Speaker 4: revenge thing. But now every time I do it, I

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Speaker 4: just feel a little bit better. If I'm having a

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Speaker 4: bad day.

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Speaker 2: It's like you're a morning cup of coffee. You can't

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Speaker 2: start the day without it.

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Speaker 3: One day he's gonna sell his house and the new

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Speaker 3: people moving in, you're gonna be like, this neighborhood's awful,

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Speaker 3: doesn't even live there anymore.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, I never even thought about that.

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Speaker 2: God bless you on your mission for revenge. Connie. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: text into seventy five nine too. If you have a

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Speaker 2: confession you've been holding on to Will Hydro identity, mask

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Speaker 2: your voice, and make you the next mass speaker. Phone

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Speaker 2: tabs coming

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Speaker 1: Up Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,