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Speaker 1: Here's how we would describe you. A lying, thieving, blaspheming adulterys.

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Speaker 1: That's what you are so far, and we haven't even

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Speaker 1: gotten into the hate or any of the other things

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Speaker 1: that are part of your life. Pay I'm not singling

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Speaker 1: you out because look, my hand is raised. I am

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Speaker 1: with you. I'm a lying, thieving, blaspheming adulter. Welcome back

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Speaker 1: to the podcast. One of my favorite guests and one

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Speaker 1: of my favorite humans. Wow, little brother Parker William Smith

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Speaker 1: felt like you needed a full introduction today. What an intro.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. Sometimes when you come to do this podcast,

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Speaker 1: you will drive here from the Yee Farm where you work,

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Speaker 1: where you're the CEO, and you'll listen to like some

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Speaker 1: kind of inspirational something to get in the mood for

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Speaker 1: this podcast. And I asked you today and you said

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Speaker 1: I was listening to how About Them Cowgirls by George Strait.

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Speaker 1: So I think I am very ready prepared for this podcast.

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Speaker 1: That's amazing. That's amazing. This podcast. The format of it,

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Speaker 1: this is episode one oh six, and it's basically, you

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Speaker 1: have a question, you email it to Grangersmith Podcast at

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Speaker 1: gmail dot com and we walk through them as if

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Speaker 1: Parker and I are sitting with you, maybe around a campfire,

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Speaker 1: maybe driving in a truck, whatever. The most casual, relaxed

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Speaker 1: environment you could imagine is you ask us the question

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Speaker 1: and we walk through it without notes, without preparation, basically

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Speaker 1: as if we're just buddies trying to give you the

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Speaker 1: best advice we can on the situation. This started, this

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Speaker 1: podcast format started when I just realized that I have

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Speaker 1: a lot of people in my life. I'm very blessed

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Speaker 1: to have a lot of people in my life that

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Speaker 1: have very sound advice, good advice, and you know, on

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Speaker 1: whether it's on the bus or on the phone, there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of guys that will just sit around and

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Speaker 1: just kind of walk through life's questions, whether it's relationship

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Speaker 1: or career or spiritual, whatever it might be, we walk

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Speaker 1: through them together. And I just thought, man, this would

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Speaker 1: be really cool if I opened it up to guests.

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Speaker 1: So if you guys have a question, email Greener Smith

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Speaker 1: Podcast at gmail dot com and we'll get to it.

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Speaker 1: And let's get to the first one. Here. Is this

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Speaker 1: your first episode with these headphones? Yeah, switched to headphones today,

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Speaker 1: and the benefit is so that each of us can

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Speaker 1: hear ourselves, similar to how when you're on stage or

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Speaker 1: is that completely different. Yeah, well yes, it's basically the idea.

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Speaker 1: There's two main reasons we're wearing headphones today. One, it

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Speaker 1: allows the guest to hear I kind of I'm comfortable

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Speaker 1: around the microphone. But it allows the guest to see,

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Speaker 1: to feel their radio, to the their proximity to the microphone,

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Speaker 1: so they can be aware of you know, if you

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Speaker 1: come you come back and you're sitting in the chair

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Speaker 1: like this and you realize when I sound way better

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Speaker 1: like this. The second biggest reason is if there's a

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Speaker 1: because I don't I produce this myself. There is no

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Speaker 1: technician or audio guy in the room, no camera guy.

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Speaker 1: It's all me. So if there's a problem, I'm going

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Speaker 1: to know it instantly because I have headphones on. So

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Speaker 1: we'll see how it goes. If you're watching on YouTube,

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Speaker 1: you'll understand. If you're just listening, it shouldn't even matter

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Speaker 1: to you at all. And then so when musicians are

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Speaker 1: on stage, the benefit of the what you call the ears,

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Speaker 1: which a lot of people don't know, is when those

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Speaker 1: guys are on stage, they have what you call your

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Speaker 1: ears and your headphones, and that is so that you

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Speaker 1: can hear yourself as well, right, because that's so strange

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Speaker 1: on stage. That's the main reason, because the speakers are

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Speaker 1: usually in front of the stage and they're shooting outwards

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Speaker 1: towards the crowd. So the musicians that are behind the

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Speaker 1: speakers are not going to hear it. They're going to

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Speaker 1: hear a delayed sound, and they're not gonna be able

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Speaker 1: to hear the detail of what they're playing or singing,

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Speaker 1: and so then we have a completely different mix than

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Speaker 1: what the crowd here. So that's why we have a

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Speaker 1: monitor engineer, Will who mixes our ears, and then Blake,

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Speaker 1: who's out what we call front of house, who mixes

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Speaker 1: what the audience hears. That's kind of a new thing.

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Speaker 1: It started with we wear the earphones the ear plugs,

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Speaker 1: but that's maybe like a fifteen or twenty year old deal.

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Speaker 1: Before then everyone had wedges, which some people still use them.

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Speaker 1: It's the speakers that are on the ground shooting back

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Speaker 1: towards the musicians. But before that they didn't have anything.

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Speaker 1: So like if you think about the Beatles when they

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Speaker 1: used to play concerts at big arenas, they didn't have

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Speaker 1: any kind of monitor system at all. They were just

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Speaker 1: playing with the ambient noise of what the arena sounded like,

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Speaker 1: which is very difficult and hard to harmonize, hard to

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Speaker 1: hear the details of what the guitar players are doing,

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Speaker 1: stuff like that. So here we are just like the Beatles,

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Speaker 1: me and you. Yep. First question is this subject is

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Speaker 1: how do I stop being a hero? Hey, grangew my

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Speaker 1: name is Joshua. I hail from San Saba, Texas. Shout

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Speaker 1: out to Texas Ranch Country. I've met you a couple

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Speaker 1: times and each time you never let me down. You're

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Speaker 1: so welcoming and friendly and make us feel like family.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for that. Now for my question. I'm a

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Speaker 1: young Christian man who's looking to find the woman I

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Speaker 1: want to spend the rest of my life with. The

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Speaker 1: Only problem is I have a hero complex that I

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Speaker 1: have to beat. Whenever I start talking to a young

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Speaker 1: lady and we get to know each other and open

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Speaker 1: up or talk about ourselves, I get more invested. The

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Speaker 1: more invested I get, the more I want to help

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Speaker 1: them with all of their life's problems before even a

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Speaker 1: commitment has been made. I hate to see people struggle,

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Speaker 1: and especially when I have an interest in them, So

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Speaker 1: I help out whatever they need before we even get

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Speaker 1: to know each other. This usually gets me in the

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Speaker 1: quote he says, friend zone, and I'm being labeled a

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Speaker 1: nice guy? How do I stop being this hero ps?

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Speaker 1: I'm twenty one years old. I know my life is

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Speaker 1: just starting and I have a lot to figure out.

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Speaker 1: I just started welding school and I'm planning on that

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Speaker 1: being my career. Here's a picture of us, so oh awesome. Yeah, Joshua,

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Speaker 1: he's a super cool dude, and he included a picture

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Speaker 1: of me and him in a meet and greet man Joshua,

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Speaker 1: thank you brother, Thank you for emailing, and thank you

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Speaker 1: for being the fan that you are. I know I've

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Speaker 1: met you several times and you're just a stand up guy,

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Speaker 1: so I appreciate you emailing. It's a pretty common question,

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Speaker 1: I think to this hero complex is what he's calling it.

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Speaker 1: Where you come in and you meet somebody and you

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Speaker 1: want to immediately try to fix a problem that they have.

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Speaker 1: I know I've been in this kind of situation where

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Speaker 1: you meet you're young, and you meet a girl and

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Speaker 1: you talk to her a few times and she meet

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Speaker 1: lee tells you about her stepdad. Is you know, neglecting

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Speaker 1: her or talking. You know, maybe you know any kind

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Speaker 1: of scenario, you name it, there's some kind of problem,

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Speaker 1: and then you want to come in and go you

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Speaker 1: know what, you know, you should tell your stepdad and

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Speaker 1: you try to start fixing things, and then you gain

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Speaker 1: their trust and then you become this friend of theirs.

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Speaker 1: You've been in this situation. Yeah, I think that there's

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Speaker 1: a level of First of all, it's not wrong to

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Speaker 1: want to help somebody. I think that that is a

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Speaker 1: good thing in and of itself. But I think that

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Speaker 1: it's easy. I've fallen in this, in this situation with

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Speaker 1: past relationships where there's a form of pride and ego,

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Speaker 1: and that feels good to be the one helping people

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Speaker 1: in a certain sense, and you almost turn into like

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Speaker 1: their personal helper for everything. And when they're relying on

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Speaker 1: you for all of this, their their help to deal

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Speaker 1: with all of their problems, you know, there's there can

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Speaker 1: be an issue to that, and then the guy or

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Speaker 1: the girl or whoever's the one helping, let's become the

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Speaker 1: hero kind of fuels that because they like to be

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Speaker 1: the one relied upon. And then the other person likes

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Speaker 1: it because they can just throw all their problems on them,

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Speaker 1: and it just turns into this weird cycle. And when

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Speaker 1: the relationship is not two individuals who have all of

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Speaker 1: their anxieties and cast on the foundation of Christ, then

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Speaker 1: it's easy to look for other things or people to

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Speaker 1: cast your problems on, and then that's that's where the

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Speaker 1: problems start. Yeah, for sure, I think Joshua, something something

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Speaker 1: interesting to know is that maybe you just need to

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Speaker 1: hear it. Maybe you already know this, you just need

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Speaker 1: to hear it from us. But you trying to help

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Speaker 1: them and trying to figure out some of their problems

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Speaker 1: is not what is making them not like you. You,

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Speaker 1: that's something else. That's something different. You know, like if

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Speaker 1: a girl, if a girl likes you, she just she's

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Speaker 1: gonna like you, and she's gonna love that you help

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Speaker 1: with her issues if she if you are if you

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Speaker 1: are included into this friend zone because you're helping her,

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Speaker 1: but that means she just wasn't gonna like you romantically

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Speaker 1: in the first place. Yeah, it's easy to justify and

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Speaker 1: be like, well, she just doesn't like me because I'm

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Speaker 1: too helpful, right, And it's like she doesn't dislike you

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Speaker 1: if you're a guy out there and you're thinking that

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Speaker 1: you're always friend zone. It's like, girls don't not like

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Speaker 1: you just because you're very nice or helpful or you're

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Speaker 1: doing things for them, it's because they weren't interested. And

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Speaker 1: I think that it's up to the guy initially, if

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Speaker 1: you're gonna ask a girl out, then let her know

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Speaker 1: you're interested, so that there's clarity at the beginning. And

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Speaker 1: you say very specifically, I don't want to do homework

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Speaker 1: with you. I don't want to you know, come over

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Speaker 1: and let's hang. It's I want to take you on

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Speaker 1: a date, and you have to say that d were

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Speaker 1: a date, so that they know from the very beginning

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Speaker 1: of what your intentions are. Otherwise, the girl is confused

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Speaker 1: and she doesn't know what this is and the guy

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Speaker 1: might just be might just be messing around and not

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Speaker 1: the girl doesn't know what the guy's intentions are, and

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Speaker 1: then at the end of the day, the guy could

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Speaker 1: be misled and then friend zoned even though he was

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Speaker 1: never even seen romantically by the girl in the first place,

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Speaker 1: because he didn't let his intentions be known. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: really good. So I think you could basically fill in

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Speaker 1: the friend zone thing. You could fill that in with

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Speaker 1: any other character trade about you. She doesn't like me

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Speaker 1: because I make too much money. She doesn't like me

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Speaker 1: because I don't make enough money. She doesn't like me

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Speaker 1: because I'm a welder. She doesn't like me because I'm

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Speaker 1: a doctor. You could find something to fill in the blank,

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Speaker 1: but I think Parker Man really hit it on the

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Speaker 1: head where you need, Joshua to when you start liking

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Speaker 1: a girl and you're just being you, and the version

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Speaker 1: of you is you like to fix things. When you

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Speaker 1: are that version and you start liking a girl, you

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Speaker 1: needed to tell her straight up, you know what. I

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Speaker 1: like you. I would love to take you on a date.

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Speaker 1: Would you be interested in going on a date and

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Speaker 1: seeing if there's more to us than just being friends?

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Speaker 1: And if she goes? You know what, Joshua, You're such

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Speaker 1: a sweet guy. I just don't think of you that way. Great,

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Speaker 1: now we know, like your problem solved. There's your problem solved.

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Speaker 1: You're right, So I think I could quickly say your

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Speaker 1: subject line, how do I stop being a hero? You don't?

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Speaker 1: That's awesome. One day, one special girl, Joshua is gonna

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Speaker 1: love that you're the hero. She's gonna love that she

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Speaker 1: could turn to you and you're a problem solver, and

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Speaker 1: that's going to take a certain personality, not very rare.

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of girls would love that, but

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Speaker 1: there are certain girls that would be like, I don't

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Speaker 1: that's not my love language. Stay out of this. I

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Speaker 1: could do it myself and that's fine too. But that's

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Speaker 1: that's that's the fun process of dating is you realize

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Speaker 1: all those things in this dating process. So hit her

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Speaker 1: up with that that D word, Parker said, date. It's

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Speaker 1: going to date Parker. We have a lot of I

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Speaker 1: set aside a lot of questions for you. You want

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Speaker 1: me to read some subjects or you want me to

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Speaker 1: just hit and hit the next one. Let's just hit one. Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: this this question literally came today. It says, hey, Grangel,

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Speaker 1: I'm being vulnerable here here. I just got over an

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Speaker 1: abusive relationship and the person was very emotionally abusive. She

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Speaker 1: always manipulated me into thinking certain ways that I wasn't

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Speaker 1: allowed and told me I wasn't allowed to have any friends.

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Speaker 1: I was always told that I was worthless in this

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Speaker 1: world and that I was the problem and the reason

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Speaker 1: I had no friends. Whenever I tried to confront her

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Speaker 1: about how she was making me feel she put it

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Speaker 1: back on me and assured me that she was a

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Speaker 1: good person. I let it go on for so long

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Speaker 1: because I know her pass and I know she was abused,

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Speaker 1: and I was trying to give her the benefit of

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Speaker 1: the doubt. I also believed that she was telling me.

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Speaker 1: I also believed she was telling me and that she

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Speaker 1: was right about no one wanted to be my friend,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't want to be alone, so I stayed

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Speaker 1: with her. I finally decided to leave recently, but I

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Speaker 1: still feel like I'm not good enough to try to

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Speaker 1: make friends and move on. Please help, Brian. It's kind

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Speaker 1: of like a similar question to what we just read, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Brian is look, Brian, you came into this relationship trying

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Speaker 1: to fix her because she came out of an abusive relationship,

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Speaker 1: so you used that as you gave her a crutch

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Speaker 1: and said, well, I'm going to give you the benefit

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Speaker 1: of the doubt because I know you were abused and

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to be abusive, so I'm going to

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Speaker 1: help fix you. But that ended up backfiring on you.

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Speaker 1: So his question is, I mean they're done. What it

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Speaker 1: sounds like is the bottom line is I didn't want

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Speaker 1: to be alone, so I stayed, which, Yep, how relatable

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Speaker 1: is that. How many people right now just are in

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Speaker 1: relationships with people who are awful, people who tell them

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Speaker 1: that they have no friends and that they're miserable and

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Speaker 1: that they're not good humans, and they're like, well and

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Speaker 1: they believe them. Yeah, and it's like, well, I guess

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Speaker 1: this is better than being by myself. And so at

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, it comes down to can

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Speaker 1: I be content by myself or do I need to

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Speaker 1: have someone with me even if they're awful and making

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Speaker 1: my life life worse in every way. I want everyone

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Speaker 1: to listen that is thinking about a question they might

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Speaker 1: have for this podcast that has to do with them

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Speaker 1: being single right now and looking for someone out there

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Speaker 1: to be in a relationship with. So then you read

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Speaker 1: this one and you go, well, here's the opposite. Here's

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Speaker 1: someone that was in a relationship that was miserable, meaning

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Speaker 1: it's not the goal to be in a relationship, to

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Speaker 1: seek a relationship just to be in one because you're lonely.

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Speaker 1: That doesn't accomplish anything, and oftentimes that gets you in

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Speaker 1: the wrong relationship. In this case was someone that was

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Speaker 1: previously abused, and so you tried to fix it and

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Speaker 1: then you got abused in return. So Brian's question is

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Speaker 1: really he's asking am I worthy? Am I good enough

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Speaker 1: to make friends and move on? Please help? Right? That's

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Speaker 1: his question basically, Yeah, So what do you tell the

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Speaker 1: Brian when he says I'm not I feel like I'm

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Speaker 1: not good enough to make friends and move on? Please help? Well,

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Speaker 1: so he has all of these feelings from surrounding himself

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Speaker 1: with this girl and not with with good people who

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Speaker 1: are lifting him up. And so I think that we're

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Speaker 1: gonna believe whatever we're being told from the people around us,

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Speaker 1: and they have a big impact on our thoughts and

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Speaker 1: our subconscious And so, first of all, yes, I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: ask in this situation. I wouldn't be asking yourself, how

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Speaker 1: should I feel? Based on these things that she told me.

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Speaker 1: He should be asking himself what should I do with

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Speaker 1: those feelings? And there's so many different times in our

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Speaker 1: lives where we feel like we can't move on, or

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Speaker 1: we can't go on, or we've lost somebody, or we've

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Speaker 1: gotten our heart broken and we can't get to that next.

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Speaker 1: We feel like we can't make it another day, when

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Speaker 1: in reality. It's not about how you feel. You will

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Speaker 1: be okay, you will be able to move on. But

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Speaker 1: testing you know, the says to take captive every thought,

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Speaker 1: to obey Christ and test it and test it with

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Speaker 1: truth because that is the only source of truth that

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Speaker 1: is out there. And when you're surrounding yourself with people

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Speaker 1: that are speaking negatively, then it's going to affect you negatively.

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Speaker 1: So yes, you will move on, Yes you will make friends.

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Speaker 1: You need to take steps today, small steps. Don't relive

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Speaker 1: the past, don't don't feel like you needue closure from this.

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Speaker 1: It's over. Move on. Take steps toward healthy activity, toward

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Speaker 1: getting sleep, toward uh, surrounding yourself with good people and

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Speaker 1: joining a club, joining a sport, like we always say,

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Speaker 1: and it'll get better. So good. Remember that book we

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Speaker 1: read a long time ago, what was it called Dale Carnegie?

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Speaker 1: How to Win friends and Influence people. That's what what's called.

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Speaker 1: That's a great book, Brian. I mean, just just you

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Speaker 1: could you could make friends by doing one thing I'll

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Speaker 1: lot and that's listening. You can go into a relationship

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Speaker 1: with somebody new and listen seventy percent of the time

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Speaker 1: and talk thirty percent of the time and You're gonna

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Speaker 1: make good friends that way right off the bat. You're

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Speaker 1: going to earn people's trust. You're gonna you're gonna find

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Speaker 1: a lot of people to go. Man, I really like Brian.

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Speaker 1: Why do you like Brian? I don't know, Man, He's

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Speaker 1: just he always understands me. And the truth is you're

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Speaker 1: just listening. Just be a good listener. So you started

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Speaker 1: this whole email to me by saying, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: be vulnerable. Here, be vulnerable. Right back to people in

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Speaker 1: a new friend group, how do you find friends? Well,

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Speaker 1: what do you like to do? So you could start

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Speaker 1: with work. You can start with neighbors, people, people that

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Speaker 1: live next door in the apartment next door. Hey, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna cook some burgers tonight. You guys want to come over,

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Speaker 1: And when they come over, ask them about themselves. People

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Speaker 1: love to talk about themselves. What do you do? Where

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Speaker 1: are you from? Where do you have any siblings? Where'd

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Speaker 1: you go to school? And people will talk and talk

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Speaker 1: and and you'll be able to discern good friends. But

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Speaker 1: I mean, this is this is your next move. You brother,

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Speaker 1: you're single now, congratulations. This is a this is a

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Speaker 1: great step for you. This is a this is a

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Speaker 1: new page, a fresh blank slate for you. So, yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is great. Congratulations, I should say, you're out of it.

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Speaker 1: You're out of an abusive relationship. You're free, clean slate,

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Speaker 1: ready to make some friends, find some people that you

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Speaker 1: could talk to and listen to them. You'll be just fine. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: be glad you're not in a marriage with her. Be

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Speaker 1: glad you're not in a marriage with her, because we

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Speaker 1: will find those. We'll find those kind of questions in

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Speaker 1: here too. Let me let me go to this one.

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Speaker 1: This is a short question, and I'm gonna I'm not

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Speaker 1: gonna read their name. They don't they don't have their names.

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to read it. The side note, if

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Speaker 1: you're emailing Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com, I love

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Speaker 1: it when you keep it short. You don't have to

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Speaker 1: tell me your whole life story for me to get

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Speaker 1: a gist of where this is going. So it's easier

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Speaker 1: for me and the guest. And so far the ones

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Speaker 1: I've read the day have been great. Just don't write

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Speaker 1: a novel. It's harder for me. I think you could

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Speaker 1: sum it up. Here's a very short one. It says,

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Speaker 1: subject line, I don't like talking to people about this,

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Speaker 1: but dot dot dot me and my wife have been

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Speaker 1: trying to have a kid for close to four years.

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Speaker 1: I want to get a fertility test done, but I'm

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Speaker 1: scared to know the answer. What do you think I

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Speaker 1: should do? I will let you answer that. Okay, he

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Speaker 1: didn't tell me not to say it, so I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: say in the email. His name is Dylan, Dylan brother.

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Speaker 1: Let me ask you, let me let me shoot it

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Speaker 1: back to you. You're having You and your wife have

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Speaker 1: been having trouble having a child for four years. Fast

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Speaker 1: forward thirty years in your life, and I would ask

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Speaker 1: you straight back and say say, nothing happens. You don't

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Speaker 1: get anything tested. I would ask you, or would you

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Speaker 1: ask yourself in thirty years are you happy that you

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Speaker 1: didn't check? Are you good with that? Because I think

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Speaker 1: the obvious answer is you want to know. That's why

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Speaker 1: you emailed this podcast. You want to know. So go

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Speaker 1: in there and go to that get that appointment, you

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Speaker 1: and your wife at the fertility clinic, and get the

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Speaker 1: test done and take the answer. Come what may. And

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Speaker 1: I don't know anything about your story, but I would

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Speaker 1: say there's an equal chance you can get any answer.

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Speaker 1: The doctor could say I'm so sorry. Guys, there's no possibility.

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Speaker 1: Or a doctor could say there's a slight issue and

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Speaker 1: here's how we here's how we could get you pregnant,

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Speaker 1: or the doctor says that looks like nothing's wrong. Keep trying.

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Speaker 1: But either way you're gonna walk out of that clinic

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Speaker 1: and you're gonna go, Okay, I understand now, Dylan, You're

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Speaker 1: gonna have an answer. Don't you want an answer? And

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Speaker 1: that this is this is valuable to you to have

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Speaker 1: an answer, so you can't go in being scared about anything.

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Speaker 1: So the issue is he doesn't want the wrong answer. Yep,

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Speaker 1: that's what it comes down to. People would rather live

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Speaker 1: in a twilight of it not being certain but kind

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Speaker 1: of constantly what happens when you don't have any anything

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Speaker 1: concrete or any truth and you're just constantly living in

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Speaker 1: this like void of you don't know what's right or

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Speaker 1: what's wrong, and and then you you don't know how

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Speaker 1: to take steps from there. If he's in a situation

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Speaker 1: where he is infertile, then there are options that you

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Speaker 1: can take for adoption or like there's different steps that

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Speaker 1: you can take to have children after that, But how

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Speaker 1: sad would it be to just live in this gray

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00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:07,359
Speaker 1: twilight you're quoting. You're quoting Teddy Roosevelt. So, Dylan, what

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Speaker 1: would Teddy Roosevelt say if you asked him this? If

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Speaker 1: you haven't studied Teddy Roosevelt at all, man, what an

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00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:17,560
Speaker 1: amazing guy in American history? And he would tell you

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Speaker 1: straight up like it is, don't live in that gray twilight.

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Speaker 1: Step forward, make a decision, go into this clinic, and

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Speaker 1: then and then you'll have a second group of decisions

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Speaker 1: to make after you find out what's going on. Maybe

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Speaker 1: maybe the doctor says, we could, we could get you

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Speaker 1: a baby, but it's gonna cost a lot of money.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you don't have the money. Now you know, at

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Speaker 1: least now you know, at least now you have options.

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Speaker 1: Right now, your option is go to bed scared and

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Speaker 1: lonely and worrying, and your wife is wondering if she's

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Speaker 1: really a woman, and you don't want any of that.

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Speaker 1: You could you could walk out like Parker said, and go,

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Speaker 1: you know what, We're going to adopt. We really want

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Speaker 1: a child. We're going to adopt. The foster system is

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Speaker 1: crazy right now. Or you could say, hey, babe, looks

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Speaker 1: like our destiny is to not have a child, So

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Speaker 1: we're going to do other things that we can now

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Speaker 1: commit to because we know we're not going to have

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Speaker 1: a child. So anyway, Dylan, there's a you're not going

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Speaker 1: to know any of this until you go in and

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Speaker 1: go to the clinic and then email this podcast back

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Speaker 1: and let us all know what happened. What a difficult

427
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:31,920
Speaker 1: situation that must be for a man who is possibly

428
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,560
Speaker 1: infertile or the woman is possibly infertile. It's like she's

429
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,359
Speaker 1: been placed on this earth to have children and to

430
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,359
Speaker 1: raise disciples. And what a scary feeling that must be

431
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 1: to be like, did I make a mistake? Am I

432
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,600
Speaker 1: with the right person? Am I with the wrong person?

433
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:48,199
Speaker 1: Because we can't have children? Did I do this? Or

434
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:52,320
Speaker 1: did I do that? And it's so if they find

435
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:55,520
Speaker 1: that answer and it is yes, you cannot have children,

436
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,760
Speaker 1: then it would make you rethink everything that you've done

437
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:02,120
Speaker 1: in a scary way. But he could take solace in

438
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:05,840
Speaker 1: asking himself, you know, I have a goud who cares

439
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:10,359
Speaker 1: for me, and that what is he trying to teach

440
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 1: me in this situation? How many times in the Bible

441
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 1: have there been situations of infertility? And then twenty years later,

442
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:22,640
Speaker 1: god fulfills his promises. Yeah, it brings up another point.

443
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,360
Speaker 1: If you find out that your wife is the one

444
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 1: that's infertile, honor her, love her, give her, shower her

445
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 1: with love, make her feel like she's the woman of

446
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 1: your dreams forever, regardless of what this doctor says. And

447
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:42,120
Speaker 1: if you come in with that mentality, then you could

448
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,920
Speaker 1: that's what you would also expect her to come back

449
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 1: to you with if you're the one that's infertile. So

450
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:50,760
Speaker 1: either way, you guys, have this discussion before you go in,

451
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:54,679
Speaker 1: and we wish you the best doing We're gonna take

452
00:25:54,680 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 1: a break and bear it back. Guys, thanks for listening

453
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,479
Speaker 1: to the podcast so far. I want to get back

454
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,119
Speaker 1: to these questions, but first I want to thank our

455
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460
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462
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463
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464
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465
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471
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472
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473
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474
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475
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476
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481
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482
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484
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488
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494
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Speaker 1: gonna love it. Back to the podcast, all right, have

495
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,679
Speaker 1: another very simple, very short question that comes from a

496
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:30,880
Speaker 1: guy named John. He says, I'm fourteen years old. I'm

497
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 1: struggling with a caffeine addiction and trying to quit. How

498
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 1: can I help myself to quit? Thank you? John? Wow? Right,

499
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:44,960
Speaker 1: that one's actually relatable. I would consider myself fairly addicted

500
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:50,959
Speaker 1: to caffeine, but he's fourteen. Oh never mind, he's fourteen, Like,

501
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 1: that's pretty young. It's an interesting question, like this is

502
00:28:56,360 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 1: what's worrying him? He's so. I guess we shouldn't think

503
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 1: so much about the caffeine as we could just speak

504
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 1: to addiction in any sort for a fourteen year old. Okay,

505
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:19,160
Speaker 1: since it's caffeine, we could say, are you getting enough sleep? Right? Yeah,

506
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 1: that's a good start. And maybe maybe the caffeine is

507
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 1: part of why you're not getting enough sleep, and then

508
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 1: that's leading you to be tired, which makes you want

509
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 1: more caffeine. And so it's a never ending circle here

510
00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 1: that you could get caught in and as a fourteen

511
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:44,600
Speaker 1: year old and good. So self discipline is the first

512
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:48,720
Speaker 1: thing to come to mind for John. When you're fourteen,

513
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 1: the word for you is discipline, and self discipline is

514
00:29:55,120 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 1: one of the hardest forms of that word, because you, Hey,

515
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 1: no one's gonna help you, but you so ye, are

516
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 1: you really worried about it? Like? Is this? How is

517
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,480
Speaker 1: this affecting your life? Is this I'm assuming this is

518
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 1: affecting your sleep, which is which is an issue? I'm

519
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,160
Speaker 1: assuming this isn't like I'm going broke at Starbucks or

520
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:23,680
Speaker 1: something like surely it's not that. But first thing, just

521
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:28,200
Speaker 1: for just speaking speaking to myself about caffeine, is you're

522
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 1: gonna have to put a time on your day when

523
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 1: you have your last cup of coffee or coke or

524
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 1: whatever whatever you have. So for me, it's like three

525
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 1: o'clock is the is my number. If I have something

526
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 1: after three o'clock, if I have tea or coffee after

527
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 1: three coke zero, then I'm gonna feel it. Maybe it's

528
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 1: an energy drink. I'm gonna feel it when I get

529
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 1: into bed. I could feel that that anxious feeling when

530
00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 1: you get into bed and you still have caffeine in

531
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 1: your system. So put a time on it. And one

532
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 1: thing I did is I went to I'm a coffee

533
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:11,160
Speaker 1: drinker in the morning. I went to one cup and

534
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 1: I used to just drink, and there was a time

535
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:16,440
Speaker 1: and I just drank unlimited amount of coffee in the morning,

536
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 1: and then I would get jittery right before lunch. I'd

537
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 1: be shaken. No one wants that. So this particular addiction

538
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:31,080
Speaker 1: as you start as you don't have to go cold

539
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,840
Speaker 1: turkey on it. You can, but that takes more discipline.

540
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:39,000
Speaker 1: But just ramping down your caffeine intake so say you're

541
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 1: on six cups of say, let's be realistic, three cups

542
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:46,959
Speaker 1: of coffee and two energy drinks. Let's say that's what

543
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:50,600
Speaker 1: you're doing. Then ramp it down to one energy drink

544
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 1: and two cups of coffee and do that for thirty days.

545
00:31:54,960 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 1: Let's speak Jordan Peterson language here, Aim small, right, excuse me,

546
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 1: aim lower. You need to make you're trying to make

547
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 1: hit a bullseye. Hear, and you need to widen the

548
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:14,800
Speaker 1: bullseye a little bit and aim smaller, and don't worry

549
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,480
Speaker 1: so much about cold turkey. How do I kick this

550
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 1: thing and make little progressions and then mark it on

551
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 1: your calendar so you could give yourself, say, for the

552
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 1: next ten days, I'm gonna keep this exact same habit,

553
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna be thinking about it. I'm gonna be

554
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:33,440
Speaker 1: thinking about my routine. And then after ten days, I'm

555
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:35,760
Speaker 1: gonna knock down one energy drink and two cups of

556
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 1: coffee and then or replace that with coke zero, whatever

557
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,680
Speaker 1: you're drinking, and then do that for twenty days, and

558
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:46,040
Speaker 1: then mark it on your calendar. And then twenty days later,

559
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna cut all energy drinks. I'm gonna go to

560
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 1: one cup of coffee or one coke zero. And what

561
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 1: that's gonna do is it's gonna ramp down your body's

562
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 1: need for that caffeine and you're not gonna think about

563
00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 1: it as much. Yeah, And I think that it's also

564
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 1: a matter of asking yourself, you know, what is the

565
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 1: root of this problem? What am I? What void am

566
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:11,760
Speaker 1: I filling with this caffeine? Or you know, some people

567
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 1: out there, everybody has advice, you know, what is it

568
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:18,960
Speaker 1: with this alcohol or this drug that is filling some

569
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:22,240
Speaker 1: hole that I have? Is it because is it because

570
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,400
Speaker 1: it's just a sleep problem and it's just a snowball

571
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 1: and I just like constantly need to feel energized. Or

572
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 1: is it are you socially anxious and so you feel

573
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 1: like you need to have energy to be sociable or

574
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 1: is it you have it when you're stressed out and

575
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:40,720
Speaker 1: just having an honest conversation with yourself and then trying

576
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 1: to get to the root of it rather than just

577
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 1: thinking I just need to quit caffeine just because I'm

578
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 1: pretty sure that's bad. It's like, what's the root here? Yeah,

579
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:53,520
Speaker 1: that's so good, that's so good. So, especially since you're fourteen,

580
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 1: another thing you could do is it's it's always I say,

581
00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 1: the cookie jar theory. But the cookie jar theory is,

582
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:02,120
Speaker 1: if you're you're on a diet, take the cookie jar

583
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 1: out of the kitchen, get it out of the house,

584
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 1: because you're not good enough. I'm not good enough as

585
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:11,000
Speaker 1: a human to be trying to be on a diet.

586
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 1: And every day, every morning, you have to walk past

587
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:17,560
Speaker 1: the cookie jar, and it's so easy to reach in.

588
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:20,880
Speaker 1: It's much easier on yourself to just get the cookie

589
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,560
Speaker 1: jar out of the house when you're in a good

590
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:25,960
Speaker 1: right mind and you're not craving. It's like they say,

591
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 1: don't go grocery shopping when you're hungry. You're gonna buy

592
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 1: the whole grocery store. So when you're not feeling you're

593
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 1: not really feeling caffeine, it's not really a big deal.

594
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 1: At some part of your day, go through your fridge

595
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,800
Speaker 1: and get rid of all the coke, get rid of

596
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 1: all the energy drinks, take it all out, and then

597
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 1: you're going to be craving it and you're gonna open

598
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 1: the fridge and go, ah, took it out. I took

599
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 1: it out. Well, I guess I can't have one unless

600
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 1: I literally you don't have a car, You're fourteen, so yeah,

601
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,719
Speaker 1: and just having a healthy, healthy amount, Like, how much

602
00:34:57,760 --> 00:34:59,600
Speaker 1: more are you going to enjoy that one cup of

603
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:01,959
Speaker 1: coffee knowing that that's the only one that you get,

604
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 1: Like that's ultimately what's going to be better for you?

605
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,440
Speaker 1: Like C. S. Lewis says something along along the lines

606
00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:09,000
Speaker 1: of how much better is it to swim with a

607
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:11,320
Speaker 1: clear conscience when you go in through the gate versus

608
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:13,640
Speaker 1: hopping the fence in the middle of the night and

609
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:16,840
Speaker 1: potentially having all of these like harmful effects happen to you.

610
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 1: It's like, how much more would you just enjoy that

611
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 1: one cup of coffee with a clear conscience? Yeah? If

612
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:24,480
Speaker 1: this is I'm assuming you're fourteen, 're living with your parents,

613
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:27,880
Speaker 1: or this is a discussion you need to have with

614
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:31,560
Speaker 1: your mom too. Ok, Mom, I'm I feel like I

615
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:37,400
Speaker 1: have an addiction to caffeine? Can you help me with this? Yeah?

616
00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 1: Thank you, John, thanks for emailing buddy. Here's a here's

617
00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:46,960
Speaker 1: one Parker that came in this week and it says

618
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:54,000
Speaker 1: the subject says, straightforward question, wanting straightforward answer. Morning. I

619
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:57,080
Speaker 1: have a very straightforward question, and I know it's likely

620
00:35:57,080 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 1: been answered to. I apologize. I myself am just shy thirty,

621
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:04,920
Speaker 1: married to an incredible man. We have two beautiful, healthy kids.

622
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:09,080
Speaker 1: We are a small business owning family. I would say

623
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:12,279
Speaker 1: we are rich with love and life and that's all

624
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:16,120
Speaker 1: that matters to us. Having said that, neither myself or

625
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 1: my husband have ever been a member of any church

626
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 1: or any religion. We're both what I call spiritual and

627
00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:26,359
Speaker 1: constantly helping and serving people. Just because we don't choose

628
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 1: to go to a church house, read books and so on,

629
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:33,399
Speaker 1: are y'all saying we will not go to heaven. I

630
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:36,520
Speaker 1: was raised with a very simple upbringing of being a

631
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 1: good person and good will come. Another is, if there

632
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:43,880
Speaker 1: is a God, which we do believe, there is no

633
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 1: good God will keep you from your loved ones. I

634
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,520
Speaker 1: truly believe that, having lost my dad just shy of

635
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:54,200
Speaker 1: six months ago, very sudden, no doubt in my mind

636
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:58,120
Speaker 1: that he's not there, meaning he is in heaven. You

637
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:01,080
Speaker 1: can't live a life such as his and be the

638
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 1: man that he is and not end up with the

639
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:05,680
Speaker 1: best of the best. Anyway, thank you for your time,

640
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:09,799
Speaker 1: much love, Chanda. Okay, that was not a straightforward question.

641
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:14,319
Speaker 1: It was not Chonda. That was not straightforward. I understand it.

642
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:17,840
Speaker 1: I understand exactly what you're saying, but it was not

643
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:22,080
Speaker 1: maybe as straightforward as you think. I guess she's saying,

644
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:26,960
Speaker 1: we have a lot of beautiful things that we've produced,

645
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:33,240
Speaker 1: and we are what they would consider good people, and

646
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:39,880
Speaker 1: they're saying that, they're saying, will we not go to

647
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:44,120
Speaker 1: heaven because just because we're not Christian even though we're

648
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:46,759
Speaker 1: good people. No, that's not what she's asking. She didn't

649
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:51,359
Speaker 1: say Christian. What did she say religion? And I think

650
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:57,160
Speaker 1: that's important in her question. And I could speak to

651
00:37:57,200 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 1: this and would I would ask you, you know, if

652
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 1: we're sitting in the around a campfire together, Chinda, I

653
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:09,719
Speaker 1: would ask you why you believe there's a God but

654
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 1: you don't want to serve him in any way? I

655
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:18,960
Speaker 1: would ask that because otherwise you should just be an atheist,

656
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 1: because an atheist would say, yeah, I like doing good things.

657
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 1: It pleases me to do good things. But she is

658
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:32,879
Speaker 1: which I believe is the image of God in her.

659
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 1: She's acknowledging that there is a place, a heaven type

660
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:45,799
Speaker 1: place after you die, and surely all good people go there.

661
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 1: That's kind of what she's thinking, and the reason I

662
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:52,319
Speaker 1: bring I corrected you on the Christianity thing. Is it's

663
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 1: important because you guys have heard me talk about this

664
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:58,720
Speaker 1: on my podcast of plenty, and I'm sure that's why

665
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:02,800
Speaker 1: you're asking me this, because you've heard me in previous

666
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:06,239
Speaker 1: podcast talking about Christianity. So you just want to straight

667
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 1: up say, hey, you talk about this this Jesus. Are

668
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:13,560
Speaker 1: you telling me that I won't go to heaven if

669
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:16,279
Speaker 1: I don't believe in him? She didn't say that, she

670
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 1: said religion. So a couple of things. This is loaded question.

671
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 1: But here's a couple of things. One spirituality, Being spiritual

672
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:38,719
Speaker 1: and acknowledging a God and talking about religion is not

673
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:42,319
Speaker 1: what I ever talk about in this podcast. We talk

674
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:49,799
Speaker 1: about a relationship with Jesus Christ, and that is Christianity.

675
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 1: It's different. It's not being spiritual or yeah, I'm good.

676
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:01,960
Speaker 1: It's not that that's a another religion. There's other religions

677
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 1: that can do that. But the second thing I want

678
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:10,080
Speaker 1: to say is that what I speak to about christ

679
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 1: and Christianity, what I speak to is I am simply

680
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 1: being a mailman delivering the male. But I'm I'm not

681
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:23,080
Speaker 1: writing the mail, right, I'm just delivering it. So what

682
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 1: I'm saying is not what I not what I came

683
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:31,120
Speaker 1: up with or something that I figured out. I'm just

684
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:34,000
Speaker 1: telling you what the Bible says. And the Bible is

685
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 1: the book that Christians believe is the word of God.

686
00:40:36,719 --> 00:40:39,680
Speaker 1: So I'm just telling you what the Bible says. And

687
00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:42,480
Speaker 1: so if you want to straightforward answer to what the

688
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:45,400
Speaker 1: Bible says, and I say that because it's not me

689
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 1: in any way, in my opinion, the Bible says, the

690
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:52,920
Speaker 1: answer is to you, no, you will not go to heaven.

691
00:40:57,719 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 1: And with that, we're going to take a break. We'll

692
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:01,399
Speaker 1: be no, I'm just kidding. I'm just we get going.

693
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:03,839
Speaker 1: We'll dig get more of that, We'll dig in more.

694
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,200
Speaker 1: I'll do what. I acknowledge, Sehonda, that your question is

695
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:12,400
Speaker 1: very common, see it all the time. And I believe

696
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:17,560
Speaker 1: that that. I believe that that desire when you something

697
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 1: happened with you at some point when you were looking

698
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:25,840
Speaker 1: at my Instagram or you were listening to the podcast

699
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 1: or whatever you were doing, and you stopped and you

700
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:35,760
Speaker 1: made time in your busy day to craft an email

701
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:40,040
Speaker 1: and send it correctly to Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot

702
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:44,760
Speaker 1: com because this was on your mind and I believe

703
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:48,399
Speaker 1: there's something that within you that led you to that.

704
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:52,279
Speaker 1: Otherwise it wouldn't have mattered that much, because you just

705
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 1: would have been convinced. Yeah, good people go to heaven.

706
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 1: Doesn't matter who you worship, what you believe, what you read,

707
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:01,680
Speaker 1: doesn't matter anything. If you're good, you're gonna go. That's

708
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:03,840
Speaker 1: what I believe. I don't care what Granger thinks. I

709
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 1: don't care about emailing him. But that's not what happened.

710
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:10,480
Speaker 1: You pulled out your computer or your phone, and you

711
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:12,840
Speaker 1: typed this up and you sent it because you're looking

712
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:21,160
Speaker 1: for an answer. Yeah. The Bible tells us that no

713
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:23,840
Speaker 1: one is good, not even one. And so one of

714
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:26,560
Speaker 1: the things that I found in my when I found

715
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 1: Christ was the nature of my own depravity, and that

716
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:38,800
Speaker 1: not one ounce in me is anything but a depraved wretch,

717
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:42,400
Speaker 1: a terrible person. I was sprinting to hell from the

718
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:46,120
Speaker 1: moment that I was born, saved by grace. And how

719
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:50,840
Speaker 1: common is it for humans naturally to want to define

720
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:53,120
Speaker 1: morality and what is good and what is evil on

721
00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:56,399
Speaker 1: their own since the beginning of Adam and Eve. That's

722
00:42:56,480 --> 00:43:00,680
Speaker 1: our oldest story is you can define what is good

723
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:04,160
Speaker 1: and evil. You can know the truth. Eat this apple

724
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 1: and it will all be made clear to you. And

725
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:09,759
Speaker 1: how common is it for us to want to have

726
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 1: control and want to define that for ourselves rather than

727
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:19,399
Speaker 1: to seek God's word. I would ask you a couple

728
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:21,480
Speaker 1: of questions. If we're sitting together, Chanda, I would ask

729
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:24,360
Speaker 1: you a couple of questions like this, because Parker's right on.

730
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:30,320
Speaker 1: Usually the root of a question like this is humans

731
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:36,400
Speaker 1: typically don't understand the depth of their own depravity. And

732
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:41,239
Speaker 1: when you don't understand that you're not good, and you

733
00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:45,520
Speaker 1: don't understand the depth of your depravity, then you don't

734
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:50,960
Speaker 1: understand the sacrifice it took Jesus on the cross to

735
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:55,040
Speaker 1: wipe you clean to be your savior. Basically, if you

736
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:57,520
Speaker 1: don't think you need it saved, then you don't need

737
00:43:57,560 --> 00:44:01,440
Speaker 1: a savior, and then Jesus doesn't exist, doesn't matter. So

738
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:04,879
Speaker 1: once again, I'm just delivering the mail. I didn't write it,

739
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 1: but I would ask you these questions. Have you ever

740
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:10,680
Speaker 1: told a lie in your whole life? White lie, little lie, anything?

741
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:13,360
Speaker 1: And I would bet you would say yes. And I

742
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:15,720
Speaker 1: would say what do they call someone that tells a lie?

743
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:19,319
Speaker 1: A liar? And then I would say, have you ever

744
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 1: stolen anything? Have you ever stolen anything in your entire

745
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:26,920
Speaker 1: life a song on the internet? The answer probably is yes.

746
00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:28,440
Speaker 1: And then I would say, well, what do they call

747
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:31,719
Speaker 1: someone that steals a thief? Then I would say, have

748
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:34,839
Speaker 1: you ever have you ever taken the name of God

749
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 1: in vain in any way? Have you ever said OMG

750
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:42,799
Speaker 1: on a text? Then the answer is yes. And what

751
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:44,919
Speaker 1: do they call someone that takes the name of God

752
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:48,560
Speaker 1: in vain? A blasphemer? And then I would say, have

753
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 1: you ever looked at a man at all with lust sexually?

754
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:56,840
Speaker 1: Have you ever looked at a man with lust sexually?

755
00:44:57,719 --> 00:45:00,520
Speaker 1: And you, of course you would say yes some point

756
00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:03,799
Speaker 1: that's not your husband, you'd say yes. And I would say,

757
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:07,719
Speaker 1: Jesus says that if you look upon another person with lust,

758
00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:12,520
Speaker 1: you have committed adultery. So I would say, so far, Chonda,

759
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:18,680
Speaker 1: here's how we would describe you. A lying, thieving, blaspheming, adulterous.

760
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 1: That's what you are so far. And we haven't even

761
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:24,800
Speaker 1: gotten into the hate or any of the other things

762
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:27,400
Speaker 1: that are part of your life. Pay I'm not singling

763
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 1: you out because look, my hand is raised. I am

764
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 1: with you. I'm a lying, thieving blaspheming, adulter. That's who

765
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,319
Speaker 1: I am, and that's who we all are. We are,

766
00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 1: we are broken, and until we truly realize that, we

767
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 1: realize at what point of good would allow you and

768
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 1: your worldview to get into heaven? And at what point

769
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:52,799
Speaker 1: what line in the sand do you finally cross and

770
00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 1: God goes, Oh, congratulations, Shonda. You are a good person.

771
00:45:57,120 --> 00:46:00,920
Speaker 1: And if you have subtracted just three more water old

772
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,360
Speaker 1: ladies across the street, you might not have made it,

773
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 1: but you just made the perfect quota, and so you're

774
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:10,160
Speaker 1: on the good side. Welcome to Heaven. I don't want

775
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:11,879
Speaker 1: to speak I don't want to speak about your dad

776
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,600
Speaker 1: because I lost my dad too, and I don't want

777
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:16,719
Speaker 1: to say anything bad about him. And I could say

778
00:46:16,719 --> 00:46:19,239
Speaker 1: this about your dad. We don't know what happens to

779
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 1: someone on their deathbed. We don't know what kind of

780
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 1: supernatural conversion or what could have happened, so we cannot

781
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:29,000
Speaker 1: speak to that at all. But I'm speaking to you

782
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:31,400
Speaker 1: and your heart, and I want you to know the

783
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 1: depths of your depravity, and that the Bible says no

784
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,720
Speaker 1: one is good and we are not saved by works

785
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:41,479
Speaker 1: of any kind. We're not we're saved by grace, through

786
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:47,560
Speaker 1: faith and Jesus alone. And two thousand years ago God

787
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:51,400
Speaker 1: became flesh. He came to earth as a man, one

788
00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:54,800
Speaker 1: hundred percent God, one hundred percent man. And he lived

789
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:58,080
Speaker 1: a perfect life to show us how to live, to

790
00:46:58,200 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 1: show us how to worship. And he was hated for that.

791
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:05,600
Speaker 1: He was killed for that, hung on a cross, and

792
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:08,640
Speaker 1: he died in front of all his disciples, in front

793
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 1: of hundreds of people. He died, And during that time

794
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:14,720
Speaker 1: he atoned for our sin, and he took on the weight,

795
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 1: and he felt the pain, and he felt the death

796
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,480
Speaker 1: and the blood and the nails in his hands, in

797
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:23,480
Speaker 1: his feet. Then he took on all of that, all

798
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 1: of the pain, all of the suffering, all the abandonment,

799
00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:30,160
Speaker 1: all the lies and evil of the world. He took

800
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:33,480
Speaker 1: it on for us so that we could be saved

801
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:37,440
Speaker 1: through him. Three days later he was resurrected. He rose

802
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:41,359
Speaker 1: from the dead in front of hundreds. He came out

803
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:44,719
Speaker 1: of that tomb and appeared to hundreds of people eyewitnesses

804
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:47,960
Speaker 1: who wrote it down and spread that message like wildfire.

805
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:51,960
Speaker 1: This message spread out all through the Near East and

806
00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:56,440
Speaker 1: Greece and Western Europe, and people took this and they

807
00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 1: saw it, and they wrote it, and they passed it,

808
00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:01,359
Speaker 1: and they wrote letters to other people that lived during

809
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:04,680
Speaker 1: that time, and they all died for it because the

810
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:08,440
Speaker 1: message was that valuable. And when these people saw him resurrected,

811
00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:12,640
Speaker 1: they saw it with their own eyes, and they changed

812
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:16,759
Speaker 1: and they died for that message. So that is the

813
00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:20,880
Speaker 1: story of the gospel. And with your acknowledgment of your depravity,

814
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:24,839
Speaker 1: which we call repentance, it's God. I'm sorry. I've messed up.

815
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 1: I'm not good. I'm messed up. I've messed up. I

816
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:30,239
Speaker 1: thought I was good. I thought I walked enough old

817
00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:33,560
Speaker 1: ladies across the street. I thought I was spiritual. I

818
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:37,360
Speaker 1: thought I thought I know said the right things, taught

819
00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:40,120
Speaker 1: my kids the right way. But I was wrong. I'm

820
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:43,320
Speaker 1: not worthy. I'm not worthy of the almighty creator of

821
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:47,200
Speaker 1: the universe. That's not I can't be worthy. Thank you

822
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:50,279
Speaker 1: for saving me through this. You gave me an opportunity,

823
00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:52,600
Speaker 1: and all we're asked to do is believe that, and

824
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:59,680
Speaker 1: you're saved. Well said. I love the scene of John

825
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:03,399
Speaker 1: McCall arthur on Larry King Live that I know you've

826
00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:11,320
Speaker 1: seen several times. And Larry King had a show where

827
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:13,920
Speaker 1: he would have individuals call in, and he would have

828
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 1: on this particular show, he had different representatives from every

829
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:25,799
Speaker 1: major world religion. He had Judaism, Islam, he had an atheist, Buddhism,

830
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:32,239
Speaker 1: and listening to each one of these individuals speak, it

831
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:36,799
Speaker 1: is very clear that every other major world religion has

832
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 1: you working your way to heaven and your salvation is

833
00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:43,680
Speaker 1: based on your works here on earth, and Christianity is

834
00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:46,960
Speaker 1: the only religion that says there's nothing that you could do.

835
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:51,719
Speaker 1: You are not deserving of eternal life, even though you

836
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:55,160
Speaker 1: think you are, and we're naturally thinking that we're entitled

837
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:59,280
Speaker 1: to it, and thank God, and it just makes sense.

838
00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:03,279
Speaker 1: It's thank God only through the sacrifice of Christ. Aren't

839
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:05,839
Speaker 1: you glad that it's there's not a Santa Claus God

840
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:08,439
Speaker 1: up there with a good and naughty list, a good

841
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:10,279
Speaker 1: and a naughty list that gives you check marks every

842
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:12,239
Speaker 1: time you do something good, and if you get enough

843
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:14,279
Speaker 1: check marks, you're finally going to get to heaven. You

844
00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:17,480
Speaker 1: do enough good things and hopefully, man, hopefully by the

845
00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:20,040
Speaker 1: time I die, I've done enough good and I'll just

846
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:25,080
Speaker 1: be with God, hopefully. Isn't that? Isn't that scary. And

847
00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:30,360
Speaker 1: I'll say this one more thing to you, Chonda. You

848
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:34,720
Speaker 1: believe there's a God. Wouldn't you believe that a God

849
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:37,760
Speaker 1: that created this universe, that created you and his image

850
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:41,839
Speaker 1: would have given you a way to know him. And

851
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:45,040
Speaker 1: we believe that's the Bible. It's not a mystery. It's

852
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:48,080
Speaker 1: not a I wonder who God is. I wonder what

853
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:50,920
Speaker 1: He thinks of me. When we actually have a book

854
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:53,560
Speaker 1: that tells us exactly was written over the course of

855
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:58,720
Speaker 1: fifteen hundred years, over forty different authors, over every subject

856
00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:04,800
Speaker 1: you can imagine, inspired by God in every way historically accurate,

857
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:07,480
Speaker 1: that we could trace this back and the story of

858
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:10,440
Speaker 1: the Gospel that I said, you know, Paul says in

859
00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:13,239
Speaker 1: Romans that that story I told you is the power

860
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 1: of the Gospel is the power of God for salvation.

861
00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:18,840
Speaker 1: So what it does is when you hear the story,

862
00:51:18,880 --> 00:51:22,640
Speaker 1: it either triggers you and you feel it that within you.

863
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:26,400
Speaker 1: You feel that trigger and you go, I'm in. Or

864
00:51:26,440 --> 00:51:28,480
Speaker 1: it plants a seed where maybe five years down the

865
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:31,360
Speaker 1: road you remember that and it triggers you, or it doesn't.

866
00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:35,960
Speaker 1: It doesn't. So there's people listening right now that go

867
00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:39,520
Speaker 1: that is the biggest fairy tale hogwash I've ever heard

868
00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:42,120
Speaker 1: in my life. I understand that that's biblical too. That

869
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:47,120
Speaker 1: some people will just think, no way, that's foolish, foolishness,

870
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:49,960
Speaker 1: and God says you reject him, you become a fool

871
00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:52,319
Speaker 1: in that way, and it's going to sound like foolishness.

872
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:54,600
Speaker 1: But there's other people, and this is who I'm talking to.

873
00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:57,799
Speaker 1: There's other people listening right now that go I want

874
00:51:57,800 --> 00:52:00,279
Speaker 1: to know more about this because I thought I thought

875
00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:03,560
Speaker 1: this whole spiritual religious thing was all the same. But

876
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:07,360
Speaker 1: Grangeer's telling me it's not. And that's who I'm speaking to,

877
00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:11,560
Speaker 1: and that's what's that's what's important to me. So Shanda

878
00:52:13,080 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 1: email back. Would you would you email back if this

879
00:52:15,239 --> 00:52:17,920
Speaker 1: mattered to you, if this made sense to you, and

880
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:20,719
Speaker 1: give me a straightforward answer back like I gave it

881
00:52:20,719 --> 00:52:23,440
Speaker 1: to you. Give me a straightforward answer back this mattered

882
00:52:23,480 --> 00:52:27,960
Speaker 1: to me? Or Granger you are a looney, but either way,

883
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:33,160
Speaker 1: email back. We got we got a little ticker on

884
00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:37,240
Speaker 1: time that says we're just about out of time? Part well,

885
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:40,920
Speaker 1: would you come back next week? Am I being invited back?

886
00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:43,279
Speaker 1: Could I invite you back on the podcast right now?

887
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:45,759
Speaker 1: Will you come back next week and we'll knock out

888
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:49,800
Speaker 1: the rest of these questions. I will be here perfect

889
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:52,920
Speaker 1: in the same shirt. Probably we'll see you guys. Love you.

890
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:56,080
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I

891
00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:58,719
Speaker 1: appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out

892
00:52:58,840 --> 00:53:02,080
Speaker 1: by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,

893
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:05,560
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and

894
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:08,799
Speaker 1: the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I

895
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:11,759
Speaker 1: upload a video. If you have a question for me

896
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:15,640
Speaker 1: that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast

897
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:18,399
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Yig