1 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:07,920 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny Smith and welcome to stuff I've 2 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:19,280 Speaker 1: never told you production of I Heart Radio. And want 3 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,120 Speaker 1: to start this one right out of the gate with 4 00:00:21,239 --> 00:00:25,840 Speaker 1: a content warning, probably obvious from the title and summary, 5 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: but we are going to be talking about orgies today. 6 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:35,960 Speaker 1: Statement to say ever work, yes, and we're not gonna 7 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 1: go to in depth or anything. We're specifically focusing on 8 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:43,800 Speaker 1: news stories about orgies during the pandemic, not the stuff 9 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:46,200 Speaker 1: that might come to mind when it comes to things 10 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:51,519 Speaker 1: like cults and orgies. Um or also just because now 11 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:53,280 Speaker 1: I want to do a whole episode on just this 12 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,760 Speaker 1: whole world of orgies. We're not really going to get 13 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 1: to in depth on that either. These could be future 14 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:04,280 Speaker 1: episodes today that's pandemic orgy. You know, that's all no 15 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:07,720 Speaker 1: big deal, So content warning for that. UM and I 16 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:09,280 Speaker 1: did have a question for you to Samantha, and we 17 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,440 Speaker 1: discussed it before answer I'm not springing it on you. 18 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:15,000 Speaker 1: I was curious if you've ever been asked to be 19 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:20,240 Speaker 1: in or been in a threesome or more sexual situation. 20 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 1: So I've never actually been in that situation. I haven't 21 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:28,680 Speaker 1: propositioned or hit on by couples to be part of 22 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:32,399 Speaker 1: something and I've never gone for that. I I guess 23 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 1: I'm not very adventurous my own issues with sexual experiences. 24 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:41,000 Speaker 1: It's like, that's too much for me. Really, Um, it's 25 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,560 Speaker 1: hard enough for me to be naked in front of 26 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 1: one person, right, So that's kind of that whole big level. 27 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,920 Speaker 1: But no, I don't have an interesting answer to that. 28 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:50,240 Speaker 1: I really I've gotten kind of hit on a couple 29 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:54,080 Speaker 1: of times proposition, but never actually gone through you. Yeah, 30 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:59,360 Speaker 1: I I've been asked and one one time. It's one 31 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:03,320 Speaker 1: of those memories that I just occasionally mull over about 32 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 1: what was really going on there, because one time this 33 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:09,639 Speaker 1: guy asked me to be in a threesome. And this 34 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 1: was in college, and I think I was trying to 35 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 1: be open to the idea, even though in the back 36 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 1: of my head I knew the answer was gonna be no. 37 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,360 Speaker 1: But I was trying to be like, you know, so 38 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 1: I asked, like, who is the other person? And he said, well, 39 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 1: it can be whoever you wanted to be. And I 40 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:30,120 Speaker 1: was like, so you're we're the basis of this and 41 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:31,720 Speaker 1: we're going to find someone else. And he was like, 42 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,840 Speaker 1: I'm just what would make you more comfortable? Would you 43 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:36,000 Speaker 1: be more comfortable if it was someone you've never met 44 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:41,240 Speaker 1: or someone you had met and I we discussed it 45 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:42,920 Speaker 1: for a while and I never came up with a 46 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 1: good answer. But to this day, I'm like, what was 47 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,880 Speaker 1: going on there? That's a sex in the City episode? 48 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:53,520 Speaker 1: Is it really? That's so gread? I should have known 49 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:56,960 Speaker 1: it always got back to sex in the city. I 50 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 1: think he was doing sex in the city and I 51 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:04,320 Speaker 1: just sword off, not really that because they don't ask 52 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,960 Speaker 1: that question, but it is like brought in. So it's 53 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:10,119 Speaker 1: this whole thing with Charlotte, who is probably the most 54 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:13,280 Speaker 1: naive of the four days, a guy who wants to 55 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,480 Speaker 1: have a threesome, and so she has this whole discussion 56 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:18,520 Speaker 1: with all of them, and they go about the round 57 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:20,400 Speaker 1: table about who would they have it with, would it 58 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:23,000 Speaker 1: be a stranger, would it not be And of course 59 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,839 Speaker 1: port little Miranda gets left out. Altogether, it's a whole thing. 60 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 1: Oh my, maybe he'd seen that episode. Maybe interesting. I 61 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 1: legitimately whe awake at nights sometimes thinking about this this moment. 62 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:40,720 Speaker 1: And then this is the same guy who came back 63 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,800 Speaker 1: to me like years later we hadn't spoken to each other, 64 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:44,840 Speaker 1: and was very nice to me. And then at the 65 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,840 Speaker 1: end of the night, asked to be friends benefits, so 66 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:54,200 Speaker 1: it could be dude does not take hints. I will say, 67 00:03:54,840 --> 00:04:01,400 Speaker 1: going through experiences being naive, for lack of a better term, 68 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,960 Speaker 1: I have become more suspicious. There was a time when 69 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:08,800 Speaker 1: if somebody was married and they started hanging out with 70 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:12,400 Speaker 1: me a lot, either person, I would just be like, well, 71 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:17,560 Speaker 1: they're married. But now sometimes I'm like, either maybe somebody's 72 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 1: trying to cheat, or it's a threesome situation and they're 73 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,640 Speaker 1: throwing me out and that that's it. It's probably not 74 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 1: the case, but I have started thinking is sometimes I 75 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 1: think that's part of the thing is once once we 76 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:31,480 Speaker 1: make the mistake of believing that way of like, Okay, 77 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 1: they're married, they're off the table, we're good, we can 78 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,800 Speaker 1: be friends, and then things start happening, and you the 79 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,320 Speaker 1: one time that something happens, you're like, from then on, 80 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: you're suspicious and scared. Right, Yes, suspicious and scared. So 81 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:50,839 Speaker 1: that's why we'll start off with this this episode. Okay, 82 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 1: so this has been something that's puzzling me throughout the 83 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,360 Speaker 1: pandemics and Anthea Noah's I've like occasionally brought it up. 84 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:57,080 Speaker 1: It's been on our ideas list for a long time, 85 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,960 Speaker 1: but that did. Yeah. Well, I just kept seeing all 86 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,880 Speaker 1: these news stories about cracking down on sex orgies, and 87 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:08,359 Speaker 1: I was just really curious whether or not this was 88 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:11,640 Speaker 1: the thing that was happening the whole time, and I'm 89 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 1: just not in the orgy loop, which I'm very much 90 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 1: not in the orgy loop. And to be clear, like 91 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 1: no king shaming or shaming of sexual activities as long 92 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:23,080 Speaker 1: as they're safe, informed, consensual activities amongst adults. I just 93 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:30,160 Speaker 1: was really curious all these stories I kept seeing. So recently, 94 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:33,480 Speaker 1: the New York Department of Health updated their guidelines for 95 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 1: having safe sex during the pandemic, which we talked about, 96 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:40,960 Speaker 1: including this line quote, make it kinky, be creative with 97 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 1: sexual positions, and physical barriers like walls that allow sexual 98 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:50,160 Speaker 1: contact while preventing close face to face contact. Interesting. They 99 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:54,400 Speaker 1: heavily advised avoiding sex parties, but if you must get 100 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:58,279 Speaker 1: vaccinated first and choose a larger, more open and well 101 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:02,159 Speaker 1: ventilated spaces. Good to know. Good to know. And as 102 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:06,040 Speaker 1: you as you probably heard that this story, these guidelines 103 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,719 Speaker 1: did make the rounds of people like are you talking 104 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:13,680 Speaker 1: about glory holes essentially? And what's a well ventilated space 105 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,680 Speaker 1: I can have like a sex party in After the 106 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 1: so called war on rimming, they also updated their guidelines 107 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 1: with quote the risk of spreading the virus through feces 108 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:27,719 Speaker 1: parentheses poop is thought to be low. Though the virus 109 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,479 Speaker 1: has been found in the feces of people who have 110 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:32,480 Speaker 1: had COVID nineteen, researchers needed to know if the virus 111 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 1: can spread through sexual activities involving oral contact with feces, 112 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:39,360 Speaker 1: such as rimming. Um. I just wanted to include that 113 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,360 Speaker 1: because that came up in a lot of the when 114 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:46,279 Speaker 1: I was searching this. So what exactly constitutes an orgy? 115 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:48,839 Speaker 1: I thought there would be like a much more straightforward definition, 116 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:50,240 Speaker 1: which I don't know if that was foolish of me, 117 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,760 Speaker 1: but from dictionary dot com it's quote wilder drunken festivity 118 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:58,280 Speaker 1: or revelry, especially involving sex with multiple participants, or from 119 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:03,120 Speaker 1: Miriam Webster sexual encounter involving many people. But there were 120 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,839 Speaker 1: a lot of like food and drinking aspects to it 121 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:10,680 Speaker 1: as well. I learned there are several global sex party networks, 122 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 1: many of which have had to adapt during the pandemic. 123 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:17,800 Speaker 1: Um A virtual sex parties and online sex workshops, for instance, 124 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 1: but plenty of illegal in person sex parties have taken 125 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:24,440 Speaker 1: place during this pandemic. During these lockdowns, two um some 126 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:29,680 Speaker 1: have tried to incorporate social distancing and vaccine requirements. In 127 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:33,320 Speaker 1: January of French police broke up a one hundred person 128 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 1: sex party taking place in a warehouse. In November, one 129 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 1: people tested positive for COVID nineteen as you're attending the 130 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 1: Naughty Nolans Swingers party in New Orleans, which is about 131 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,640 Speaker 1: thirteen percent of the attendees, and the organizer went on 132 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 1: to vote, I wouldn't do it again if I knew 133 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,640 Speaker 1: then what I know now. It weighs on me and 134 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 1: it will continue to weigh on me until everyone is 135 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:57,400 Speaker 1: one hundred percent better. And the event did require temperature 136 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 1: checks and mask Also in November, a far right anti 137 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:05,920 Speaker 1: lgbt Q plus Hungarian diplomat got busted for attending an 138 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 1: a legal lockdown orgy with twenty other men. A few 139 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,120 Speaker 1: have been broken up in New York ad people at 140 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,400 Speaker 1: a sex club in Queen's. More than two hundred were 141 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 1: detained at an illegal sex party in Los Angeles. Atlanta. 142 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 1: Sex clubs, Traps and the Loft were featured In one 143 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,000 Speaker 1: of these articles about these it described the experience at 144 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,280 Speaker 1: these sex clubs, and it was something I had no 145 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 1: idea about, just a world I had no idea about. 146 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,400 Speaker 1: Customers had to sign a document that read, we understand 147 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,600 Speaker 1: that we are using the clubs facilities during a worldwide 148 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 1: COVID night team pandemic and understand and accept all risk 149 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:40,199 Speaker 1: and consequences. Thereof people who work at these clubs across 150 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 1: the country reported high interest during this time and theorized 151 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 1: it might have to do with a newfound appreciation of 152 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:50,200 Speaker 1: being close to other people. Um And as I was 153 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,400 Speaker 1: reading through these, of course I thought of fan fiction 154 00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:54,760 Speaker 1: because a lot of people use this term touch starved, 155 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:58,240 Speaker 1: which I've never actually heard. I should have known it's 156 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,480 Speaker 1: an actual thing. But in fan fiction, a lot of 157 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:03,920 Speaker 1: people use touch starved. And that's what people were describing 158 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,800 Speaker 1: is they felt like they've been missing fan fiction war. 159 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:10,760 Speaker 1: Just so you know, I know, I have learned through 160 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:14,720 Speaker 1: this orgy research that my world of fan fiction is 161 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:19,679 Speaker 1: not the first and foremost there are. It's something it 162 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:23,360 Speaker 1: could be applied to young children who aren't physically touched 163 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,400 Speaker 1: and don't it's not aware of, like parental cuddles and 164 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:30,479 Speaker 1: hugs and emotions, so it's actually lit more more scientific 165 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:50,640 Speaker 1: than just yes, I have learned. I have learned cuttle 166 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,600 Speaker 1: parties are yes also leaving, and some people were saying 167 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 1: it's related the same thing, and these articles talked about 168 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:59,959 Speaker 1: those as well and described those as well. Others described, say, 169 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:03,680 Speaker 1: orgies amongst friends, which I find really interesting. Again that 170 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:07,840 Speaker 1: kind of goes back to would you be comfortable? Would 171 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,800 Speaker 1: you be more comfortable doing it with people you knew 172 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:13,320 Speaker 1: or didn't know. I think it's probably pretty personal, actually, 173 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:17,720 Speaker 1: definitely very personal, very personal. Yes, yes. And I also 174 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:22,000 Speaker 1: learned about podcast a Polosa quote where sex is not 175 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:25,680 Speaker 1: just celebrated but embraced with style, and they sense like 176 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:28,959 Speaker 1: a super inclusive, supportive event. I went to their website, um, 177 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,560 Speaker 1: and I was really impressed, to be honest. I also 178 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:35,079 Speaker 1: learned about fogo, which is fear of going out, and 179 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:39,760 Speaker 1: I was like, yes, that is what I have. Yeah, 180 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,320 Speaker 1: I was gonna say, is that what we would talk 181 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 1: about when I'm like, hey, look the deltail variant is 182 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:50,400 Speaker 1: happening and I'm putting myself in quarantine again. Okay, cool? 183 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:54,079 Speaker 1: Pretty much. Jennefer Elision, founder of Scart club A Woman's 184 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,800 Speaker 1: only sex club said in an interview, quote, the pandemic 185 00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:00,120 Speaker 1: has definitely boosted women thinking about themselves and having the 186 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:03,280 Speaker 1: time now to consider their own pleasures. I think there 187 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:05,760 Speaker 1: are a lot of realizations for women who question their 188 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:09,479 Speaker 1: sexuality but are afraid to act on it. This realization 189 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,840 Speaker 1: of I want to live my life fully now and 190 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:14,480 Speaker 1: I'm not going to listen to what others think or say. 191 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:18,720 Speaker 1: Go ahead, ladies, you find that you find that pleasure. Yeah, yeah, 192 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,160 Speaker 1: And a lot of people who have participated in these 193 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:26,920 Speaker 1: sex parties have said that it's not an activity but 194 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,319 Speaker 1: more of a lifestyle. And they've also pointed out that 195 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:33,440 Speaker 1: they're more judge for breaking COVID regulations because of what 196 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,720 Speaker 1: they're doing. The thousands of people out a raid, for example, 197 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:38,760 Speaker 1: which is not a direct comparison, but I see the 198 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:43,760 Speaker 1: point even if yeah, there's still a direct comparison, but 199 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 1: I see the point. Trying to just anything in crowded 200 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:51,559 Speaker 1: basis make me worried anyway, So there's that. An anonymous 201 00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:54,679 Speaker 1: user from Paris wrote to Motherboard Advice, quote, the health 202 00:11:54,720 --> 00:12:00,079 Speaker 1: situation cannot suppress the irrepressible desire to that's right. That 203 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:03,559 Speaker 1: could be put on a pillow. Someone that for me. 204 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:08,040 Speaker 1: Another quote from someone Gaveriel Geiger at Vice interviewed, stated, 205 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:11,239 Speaker 1: I think people have a clear need for social connection 206 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:15,280 Speaker 1: and meeting. Everything is closed. People are alone. We cannot, 207 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 1: you see, stay with cages around our pussies and you know, 208 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:23,720 Speaker 1: dicks forever. Now, at least in France, we're vaccinating people. Yeah. 209 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 1: And then when the when the pandemic first appeared to 210 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:30,120 Speaker 1: be easing in the US, sex parties were on their eyes, 211 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:33,960 Speaker 1: including boobs cruises or cruises that encourage people to walk 212 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:39,559 Speaker 1: around naked. I just made Samantha do as pittake, I 213 00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:43,600 Speaker 1: do not wonder about this. Good. Listen, there is my 214 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:47,840 Speaker 1: twelve year old immature self reading all these things. It's 215 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:52,120 Speaker 1: just like, what is happening? This is again, this feels 216 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,520 Speaker 1: like what it's all year old with joke about right 217 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:58,720 Speaker 1: in their fantasies and then talking about this out loud 218 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,640 Speaker 1: as an actual thing that's been created. I'm like, you 219 00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:07,120 Speaker 1: know what, twelve year olds are innovative. Well, that's actually 220 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:09,640 Speaker 1: a point I wanted to make, because it's clear that 221 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,760 Speaker 1: we're we're kind of poking fun at some of this 222 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:15,120 Speaker 1: and not not really at the people in general. But 223 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:18,920 Speaker 1: the reporting on it, because as we talked about in 224 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,920 Speaker 1: that episode on Sex Birds, like that we have such 225 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,719 Speaker 1: a taboo and it's so hard for us to talk 226 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 1: about second and me in particular, like I couldn't get 227 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:30,320 Speaker 1: through that list of words without blushing and giggling. And 228 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 1: that was part of my whole fascination with this where 229 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:36,080 Speaker 1: I wanted to know more because I was like, I 230 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 1: did kind of think it was, you know, in the 231 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,720 Speaker 1: minds of twelve year olds. I knew it happened. I 232 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:45,600 Speaker 1: just wasn't quite familiar with the numbers or the people 233 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 1: behind it. And speaking of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana 234 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:52,080 Speaker 1: University and Love Honey released a study fairly recently that 235 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:56,080 Speaker 1: found quote, people were more likely to attended sex club 236 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:59,840 Speaker 1: this year than before the pandemic of men and fourteen 237 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:03,360 Speaker 1: scent of women, while say they're less interested in the 238 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:07,800 Speaker 1: other of the same level of interest. If you're curious, 239 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:11,319 Speaker 1: which I was pre pandemic, about six point three percent 240 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:14,120 Speaker 1: of men and five percent of women had been to 241 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:18,000 Speaker 1: a sex party or swingers club. I think my whole 242 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:21,000 Speaker 1: thing about the way that it's reported is they are 243 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:25,560 Speaker 1: making it sensessitionalized by bringing up the more tongue in cheek, 244 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,320 Speaker 1: most likely the groups who are like making fun of 245 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 1: this themselves, but creating an outlet for themselves, as in 246 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,920 Speaker 1: like they're making fun of our perceptions as insure the 247 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:39,160 Speaker 1: outside of perceptions. So therefore it is a literal joke 248 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,920 Speaker 1: on the rest of us in this route. As a 249 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 1: naive individual, it feels shocking, but it's not in reality 250 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:48,080 Speaker 1: and the fact that as long as again it's safe 251 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:51,800 Speaker 1: and everybody is consensual, there's nothing wrong with us, except 252 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 1: for once again, it needs to be safe, and that 253 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:57,680 Speaker 1: includes pandemic stuff. But it is an interesting level of like, 254 00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:59,920 Speaker 1: how are we reporting it, what are we looking at? 255 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,560 Speaker 1: And yes, and are we making it even more taboo 256 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,360 Speaker 1: finding a reason to make it more taboo because of 257 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:10,640 Speaker 1: the pandemic? Right? And I I will shout out there's 258 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,640 Speaker 1: an article, the one that actually was in Atlanta, and 259 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,440 Speaker 1: I apologize I can't remember the author, but she she 260 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:21,000 Speaker 1: wrote about going to trapeze in the loft and so 261 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 1: she went and like did it and it wasn't her 262 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:27,720 Speaker 1: first time or whatever, and she was talking about specifically 263 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,240 Speaker 1: during the pandemic what was it like? But I appreciated 264 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:31,560 Speaker 1: that it was coming from the point of view, like 265 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:35,120 Speaker 1: she wasn't a frequent goer, but she had been and 266 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 1: was into it, was open to it and talked about 267 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:39,960 Speaker 1: her experience, and I think a part of it too. 268 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,080 Speaker 1: Like you said, for a lot of us that does 269 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:46,240 Speaker 1: feel very sensationalized or perhaps taboo. But for someone like 270 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:51,080 Speaker 1: me who's definitely, um like not into sex, reading about 271 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:55,360 Speaker 1: it just felt like I've only seen this in movies 272 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:59,600 Speaker 1: and of course in her entertainment. It's wild and um 273 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:01,960 Speaker 1: she it was interesting to read about, like the logistics 274 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,560 Speaker 1: of things and the expectations of things. It was just 275 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:09,320 Speaker 1: I had it heard about it from someone. It was 276 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,880 Speaker 1: in that world right, And one of those locations was 277 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,920 Speaker 1: shocking to me because I just know of it as 278 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:17,520 Speaker 1: a music venue, so I was like, what, what, oh, 279 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:20,400 Speaker 1: where's this that? So, but let's go back to the 280 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,280 Speaker 1: studies for just a second, because most studies conducted during 281 00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 1: the pandemic of sex life and health have found decline 282 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:31,400 Speaker 1: in a pretty decent one. Rates of masturbation have gone up, however, 283 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:35,880 Speaker 1: so uh, some studies have found women expressed increased sexual 284 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:40,160 Speaker 1: desire during lockdown than men, which it is interesting. That 285 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,440 Speaker 1: is interesting. I think it was like a ten percent 286 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,520 Speaker 1: generally of this like a ten percent higher interest. But 287 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,640 Speaker 1: I kind of wonder if that's playing on some of 288 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:52,320 Speaker 1: the stuff we've talked about around uh, like I don't 289 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,200 Speaker 1: know toxic masculine us the right word, but how there's 290 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:58,720 Speaker 1: this expectation that men will want sex and we'll find sex, 291 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,840 Speaker 1: and when you're like, the world is your oyster and 292 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:06,119 Speaker 1: you're not in quarantine, then there's more pressure, whereas for 293 00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:11,320 Speaker 1: women it's kind of the opposite. I don't know, I 294 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:15,399 Speaker 1: I just found that really interesting. And again, it may 295 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:19,600 Speaker 1: go back to the whole loneliness factor when women are 296 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:24,360 Speaker 1: kind of in whatever may be the reason we're not 297 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:26,639 Speaker 1: in touch with many people. We don't even see our friends. 298 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 1: All of that, the whole needing again touch starving being 299 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:32,560 Speaker 1: started to touch in general, which is translated to well, 300 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:35,680 Speaker 1: I really I need some sex that means second to 301 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,520 Speaker 1: be touched and cut it on. You know. One of 302 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:41,359 Speaker 1: my favorite lines from Sex in the City as the 303 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,480 Speaker 1: line I just want him to lay on me. I 304 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:46,040 Speaker 1: just need his body to lay on me. Like she's 305 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:48,240 Speaker 1: not even talking about sex. But that was kind of 306 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,639 Speaker 1: the level and I'm like, yeah, I get that. I 307 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,640 Speaker 1: definitely it. I became one of my phrases for a while, 308 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,119 Speaker 1: I'm like, I just need someone to lay on me. 309 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:59,080 Speaker 1: Like it became a thing. And maybe that loneliness pushed 310 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:00,960 Speaker 1: it up a little bit. I could see that for sure. 311 00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:03,920 Speaker 1: For sure. Um, and you know we started with sex 312 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:05,720 Speaker 1: in the city. Let's end with sex in the city. 313 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:11,040 Speaker 1: Thank you. Yes, I'm always happy, happy to have the 314 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:15,520 Speaker 1: sex in the city context around. Yeah. Just you know, 315 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:20,159 Speaker 1: have say sex always COVID wise and always always wise 316 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:25,440 Speaker 1: and listeners, we would love to hear from you. Thank 317 00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:27,800 Speaker 1: you for going on this journey with us. You can 318 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:30,040 Speaker 1: email us our email us Stuff Media mom Stuff at 319 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,040 Speaker 1: iHeart media dot com. You can find us on Twitter 320 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,480 Speaker 1: at mom Stuff podcast or on Instagram at stuff I've 321 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,919 Speaker 1: Never Told You. Thanks as always to our super producer 322 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:41,600 Speaker 1: Christina be safe, yes, and thanks to you for listening 323 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,879 Speaker 1: Stuff on over Toldi's production of I Heart Radio. 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