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Speaker 1: Hello.

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Speaker 2: Hey, what's your name?

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Speaker 1: My name is Mason Mason. What's up, Mason, Yes, sir,

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Speaker 1: H nothing much, man, I'm a long time listener, first

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Speaker 1: time caller. Uh found your found your stream twenty twenty two.

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Speaker 1: I remember, I remember exactly where I found the stream,

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Speaker 1: but uh, it's not what I'm calling calling to talk

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Speaker 1: to you about.

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Speaker 2: Wait, but I'm kind of curing us because if you

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Speaker 2: remember something exactly, it must be interesting. Tell me more so.

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Speaker 1: I work. I work at a theme park, and I

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Speaker 1: was doing haunt repair work in one of our haunts,

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Speaker 1: and uh, I saw you on Instagram a couple times,

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Speaker 1: and uh, and then I finally tuned into the podcast

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Speaker 1: and I listened to your podcasts every day for like

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Speaker 1: eight hour, my entire work day, for for about a week.

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Speaker 1: And uh, I'm I'm all caught up on all previous

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Speaker 1: uh episodes you post said since then? Which is I'm

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Speaker 1: really married to the game.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no shit, no shit, that's really crazy to me.

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Speaker 2: That's that's I mean, that's a significant How many episodes

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Speaker 2: of this thing are there?

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Speaker 1: Like three, I.

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Speaker 2: Don't even know, but you've been I mean that's a

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Speaker 2: significant amount of Uh, that's probably a significant amount of

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Speaker 2: the words that I have said in the past five

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Speaker 2: years of my life, right, I mean think I'm thinking

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Speaker 2: about it, right, Like, if you like, in a twenty

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Speaker 2: four hour day, what percentage of the words let's say

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Speaker 2: okay in a week? Right, I put out two of

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Speaker 2: these podcasts a week in one week, what percentage of

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Speaker 2: the words that I say are recorded and put online

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Speaker 2: as a podcast. I hope it's not a large percentage.

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Speaker 2: I hope I'm socializing enough that it's not a large percentage,

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Speaker 2: But it's a percentage. It's a you've heard a large

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Speaker 2: percentage of the recording words that I have or I

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Speaker 2: not I not even requd you've heard a large percentage

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Speaker 2: of the total words that I have spoken aloud in

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Speaker 2: the last five years. I hope that's absolutely that would

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Speaker 2: mean that would mean, that would mean that that I've

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Speaker 2: just been silent in thinking.

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Speaker 1: You know, well, I live vi curiously through your words,

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Speaker 1: and I really I really love the issues that that

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Speaker 1: you talk about on your podcast with your with the

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Speaker 1: viewers and the callers. I mean, I really I really

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Speaker 1: kind of take your therapy for for gospel in a way,

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Speaker 1: but I mean just just living living through other people's

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Speaker 1: world experiences is enough for me to tune into the

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Speaker 1: podcast every day.

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Speaker 2: So good, I hope. So I hope that that's here

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Speaker 2: because I don't I I hope. I hope you're not

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Speaker 2: taking anything I say as gospel. I hope you know.

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Speaker 2: Here's what I'll say this, here's what I I hope

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Speaker 2: you're not taking anything I say as gospel. But if

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Speaker 2: I think, if I'm I think if the point of this,

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Speaker 2: or if one of the points of this is that

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Speaker 2: people are gathering perspectives on the world based on other

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Speaker 2: people's lived experience. If if my own lived experience is

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Speaker 2: chucked in there, I don't mind, but you probably shouldn't

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Speaker 2: take anything I say. Is I try not to take

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Speaker 2: anything I say is gospel or at.

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Speaker 1: Least Oh dude, it's the best man.

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Speaker 2: Well, I thank you. I appreciate that. I'm trying to

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Speaker 2: take my own words. You know, I'm trying to trying

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Speaker 2: to live better. I'm trying to I don't know, I

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Speaker 2: got to get a handle on my brain.

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Speaker 1: But we're gonna say, we're all trying to be the

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Speaker 1: best version of ourselves. Man, And that's that's kind of

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Speaker 1: what I'm calling to talk about.

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Speaker 2: Please me talk about you finely.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to finally become the best version of myself. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So so June twenty second, so that's exactly a month

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Speaker 1: ago from today. I had I had a stint of

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Speaker 1: what what I was diagnosed with was acute mania, So

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Speaker 1: I kind of I kind of had this god complex.

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Speaker 1: Everything felt larger than life. I had hyperactivity in my brain.

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Speaker 1: So the past four, I guess the past month, I've

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Speaker 1: been actively coming down from that, and it was a

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Speaker 1: very eye opening experience for me. It kind of changed

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Speaker 1: the way I think and changed my entire worldview. So

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Speaker 1: I'm calling to see if I can get any advice

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Speaker 1: from you on how to navigate this, this this new

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Speaker 1: perspective and this new journey I'm kind of undergoing here.

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Speaker 2: Well, before we launch into any kind of advice, if

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Speaker 2: you want to talk about it, tell me more. What

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Speaker 2: did that experience look like?

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Speaker 1: Well, so since then, I've been I've been talking to

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Speaker 1: a psycho biatrist. My my parents started to think that

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Speaker 1: I was bipolar. My my psychiatrist completely disagrees, but I

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Speaker 1: the experience looked like I took three visits to the

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Speaker 1: e R, which is more than I had ever gone

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Speaker 1: in my entire life. In one week, I had three

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Speaker 1: visits to the e R to kind of talk me

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Speaker 1: down from this this heightened manic state that I was in.

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Speaker 1: I do think it was kind of like a weed

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Speaker 1: induced psychosis. I mean, this, this is just this is

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Speaker 1: just an idiot doing research online. AI has been a

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Speaker 1: big tool for helping me navigate this. I know I

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Speaker 1: shouldn't be so reliant on AI, but I'm.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: So, I mean, it's it's very interesting, man. They they

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Speaker 1: got my parents insisted on medicating me. I'd never been

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Speaker 1: on any form of medication before I had direct symptoms

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Speaker 1: of the medication, so I was I was taken off

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Speaker 1: the medication and my parents I still live with them.

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Speaker 1: I'm twenty one. I I can't really move out in

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Speaker 1: this economy.

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Speaker 2: Oh br I mean before before before we do anything,

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Speaker 2: before we do anything, I mean twenty one. I want

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Speaker 2: to hear the rest of your story. But twenty one

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Speaker 2: is a perfectly acceptable age to be living with your parents,

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Speaker 2: So you know, don't don't freak out about that. And

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Speaker 2: it's also not I mean, it's a fucking it's an

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Speaker 2: amazing gift that you your parents are still heavily involved

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Speaker 2: in your life and care about you enough to be,

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Speaker 2: you know, going through this with you. So I hope,

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Speaker 2: you know, I hope you're feeling that love.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, it's it's unconditional love, but it is almost overbearing

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Speaker 1: to an extent because I still feel like I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to navigate the bounds that come with manhood and trying

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Speaker 1: to find my independence as a man. I mean, I've

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Speaker 1: I've had the same job for seven years. I'm only twenty.

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Speaker 1: I started when I was fourteen, and I thought this

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Speaker 1: would be my life's calling and I could I could

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Speaker 1: work the rat race and work the nine to five

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Speaker 1: job my entire life. I'm I'm slowly coming to terms

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Speaker 1: with that in this new state of mind, that I

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Speaker 1: might go crazy if if I if I end up

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Speaker 1: working the same job my entire life. But my parents

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Speaker 1: have been trying to instill this foundation onto me that

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Speaker 1: I need to work to make money. But watching you

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Speaker 1: for the last three years has been really inspirational that

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Speaker 1: you can find your voice online and you can find

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Speaker 1: you can find other means to make money that's not

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Speaker 1: being stuck in the nine to five job.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, my job, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

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Speaker 1: I mean my job, it's very creative. I'm currently at

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Speaker 1: work now. I do a lot of special effects and

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Speaker 1: prop making and seen c work scence. He's a wood router.

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Speaker 1: I'm actually in the wood routing room right now. I

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Speaker 1: got a couple of projects to get done, but I

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Speaker 1: thought this would be a more beneficial way to spend

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Speaker 1: my time on the clock.

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Speaker 2: So you've been so wait aute, you're twenty one. You've

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Speaker 2: been in the special effects industry since you were fourteen?

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Speaker 1: No, no, no. I started operating rides and I became

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Speaker 1: a rides trainer, a ride supervisor, then moved over to

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Speaker 1: special effects right out of high school, and I've I

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Speaker 1: hadn't touched a hand drill or anything since then. A

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Speaker 1: little quick backstory. I grew up in a STEM academy

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Speaker 1: from kindergarten through sixth grade, so I always had this creative,

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Speaker 1: uh aspect of me that's kind of been untapped up

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Speaker 1: until now. Because now I can finally express my creative

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Speaker 1: outlet in a way that I reap the benefits from

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Speaker 1: the park that I work at. Also reached the benefits

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Speaker 1: from so I'm very savvy when it comes to like

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Speaker 1: three D modeling. We do a lot of three D

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Speaker 1: printing at our at our work. But I mean, I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm self taught. I've used AI and YouTube to help

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Speaker 1: me out with a lot of these things. But I

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Speaker 1: feel like there's a passion that lives so deep within me,

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Speaker 1: and I'm trying to explore this, this passion. I have

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Speaker 1: a lot of guest service experience, I mean, essentially growing

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Speaker 1: up at this theme park, so I know how to

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Speaker 1: talk to people and I know how to put on

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Speaker 1: a stage face. But I'm trying. I'm trying to I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to see how I can apply this in my

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Speaker 1: in my real life to to kind of I don't

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Speaker 1: know if it breaks free from the rat race, I guess.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I've I started voice journaling, so I do

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Speaker 1: have a voice journal journal on on my phone, and

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Speaker 1: then I can I can take the transcript of that

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Speaker 1: voice memo, putting it, put it into AI, and AI

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Speaker 1: helps me complete like unformed thoughts that I that I

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Speaker 1: had mentioned in the voice journal, it helps me organize. Uh.

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Speaker 1: It's basically written journaling, but in utilizing modern day technology

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Speaker 1: to help me explore what I want to really do

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Speaker 1: with my life, kind of back to my parents, I

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Speaker 1: I'm still living under their household. I have a wonderful

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Speaker 1: safety net that they've they've helped build for me. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I like this. I think I've been pretty calledled my

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Speaker 1: entire life and don't have the real world experience that

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Speaker 1: I envy. Four But I I've essentially lived paycheck to

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Speaker 1: paycheck because I put all of my money in cryptocurrency.

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Speaker 1: I know you would advise that I shouldn't put all

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Speaker 1: my eggs in one basket, as my parents have been

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Speaker 1: telling me, but I've I put seven thousand in there.

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Speaker 1: My portfolio is currently up to fifty thousand, some pretty

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Speaker 1: exponential games in the last year and a half. But

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Speaker 1: I Dave Ramsey would be the person I would talk

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Speaker 1: to you about this cryptocurrency, right.

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Speaker 2: I have lots well, I have, I have lots of thoughts. Okay, Well, Also,

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Speaker 2: by the way, listen, I'm gonna be honest with you,

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Speaker 2: is I've also I also feel as though I've been

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Speaker 2: relatively coddled for my entire life. I mean, I grew

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Speaker 2: up in you know, so I grew up you know,

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Speaker 2: with a in a house in the suburbs, and my parents,

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Speaker 2: you know, they pay for me to go to college.

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Speaker 2: And they let me live there for you know, fucking

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Speaker 2: live in the house until I was twenty two twenty three,

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Speaker 2: so I was able to save and do all the scrap.

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Speaker 2: And I also felt like I was like, oh crap,

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Speaker 2: I'm I have no uh semblance of the real world whatsoever,

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Speaker 2: you know. But I also but I also have the

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Speaker 2: belief that like, uh, listen, if you can use that too,

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Speaker 2: I mean, don't you. I I think if you can

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Speaker 2: use that position to you know, enrich your life, and

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Speaker 2: they're bot from enriching your life, you kind of there's

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Speaker 2: a there's a bit of I would call I would

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Speaker 2: call it trickle down enrichmond when you you know, use

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Speaker 2: it to do do do you know, as like a

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Speaker 2: starting launching platform to do something that's worthwhile for your life.

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Speaker 2: Uh you know, I think that benefits uh, you know,

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Speaker 2: the people around you who care about you.

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Speaker 1: Two.

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Speaker 2: So uh oh, there's a bunch of other things. I

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Speaker 2: was going to say, Oh, crypto, I don't know, man,

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Speaker 2: don't I don't have I don't I mean, I don't.

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Speaker 2: I don't have any crypto. I'm not a crypto guy.

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Speaker 1: Oh you're missing out, man, And utility coins. Look into

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Speaker 1: ISO twenty twenty two, compliance try to invest in US

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Speaker 1: made cryptocurrencies, something with utility, because it seems like that's

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Speaker 1: where our financial system is headed. So, I mean, for

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Speaker 1: the last three years, I've kind of been preaching the

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Speaker 1: gospel when it comes to cryptocurrency, and that's just that's

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Speaker 1: the way the world is heading.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I'm okay again. A lot of things, a

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Speaker 2: lot of things.

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Speaker 1: Again. I could talk all day about cryptocurrency. I've done.

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Speaker 1: I've done three years of research onto this. Finance in

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Speaker 1: high school is always what I was most passionate about.

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Speaker 2: Sure, and I actually and I actually, I actually, I

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Speaker 2: think it's a good thing because it's true, you need

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Speaker 2: money to exist, right and if you're lucky unfortunately, yes,

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Speaker 2: you need money to exist, and if you're lucky, you

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Speaker 2: can figure out a way to make it that doesn't

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Speaker 2: take up too much of your time so that you

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Speaker 2: can go and do the things that you actually want

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Speaker 2: to do. Crypto, I'm not. I don't know anyth about crypto.

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Speaker 2: I don't really don't. I don't want to talk about

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Speaker 2: it only because I don't know about it. But I

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Speaker 2: think it's okay to I. I also when I was

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Speaker 2: you know, when I was twenty one, I had a

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Speaker 2: lot of separate parts of my brain where I was like,

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Speaker 2: I kind of separated my brain into like three or

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Speaker 2: four categories where I was like, Okay, I need to

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Speaker 2: figure out something I can do to make money, and

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Speaker 2: then I need to figure out something I can do

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Speaker 2: to that is like makes art, and I need to

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Speaker 2: figure out something I can do that gets me around people,

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Speaker 2: and I need to focus on and I need to

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Speaker 2: make sure I get the money thing down, pat, because

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Speaker 2: then it'll help me out with the art thing and

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Speaker 2: the being around the people thing.

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Speaker 1: So you are genuinely thriving, then I have all of those,

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Speaker 1: all of those four checkbox ticked.

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Speaker 2: I got the age of seven.

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Speaker 1: Man, It's true.

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Speaker 2: I got well, I got you know, I got a

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Speaker 2: little lucky. Uh.

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Speaker 1: COVID was a huge benefactor to that. Dude. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: remember going on Reddit and and and seeing seeing that

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Speaker 1: you wanted to start this thing and then call this line.

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Speaker 1: I mean your story is is very uh and I

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Speaker 1: mean your business model, I guess too, you could say

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Speaker 1: is very inspirational too. I mean just just your everyday listener.

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Speaker 1: I really enjoyed that. Uh. It was her name Ava

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Speaker 1: that British woman you had on I just got done

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Speaker 1: listening to that part.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, great, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah that.

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Speaker 1: Was That was a great conversation man, And it's really

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Speaker 1: cool to hear from your I mean, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to say older, but you're more more wise audience numbers,

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Speaker 1: I agree. I mean, it's just it's just the way

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Speaker 1: you break down those those calls is is very beneficial

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Speaker 1: to me when I'm trying to experience the world vicariously

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Speaker 1: through I mean, I guess your callers, right, because so

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Speaker 1: that seems like the best way I can I can

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Speaker 1: pick up on on my flaws, other people's flaws, and

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Speaker 1: again kind of tying back to the beginning of the conversation,

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Speaker 1: being the best version of ourselves.

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Speaker 2: Right, I appreciate that. I want to get back into

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Speaker 2: your life for a second. And by the way, just

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Speaker 2: so you know, I'm just and you've heard every episode

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Speaker 2: of my show, so I guess, I'm I guess, I'm

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Speaker 2: only I guess I'm just saying this to myself. But

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Speaker 2: obviously you know I'm not a real therapist and work,

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Speaker 2: but I'm interested. But You've brought up a lot of

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Speaker 2: topics as we've been talking that I have personal interests in,

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Speaker 2: so I'm happy to just like chat with you about them.

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Speaker 2: So you brought up a lot of things that I

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Speaker 2: want to get into. I'm trying to keep a note

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Speaker 2: of all of them. I'm going to rattle off the ones.

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Speaker 2: I remember you talked about masculinity navigating that. Is that correct? Okay?

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Speaker 2: You were talking about mania and just general mental health stuff,

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Speaker 2: and then talking about talking about like trying to find

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Speaker 2: what you actually want to do with your life, your

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Speaker 2: relationship with your parents. I'm down to get into all

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Speaker 2: that stuff. Let's talk about Let's talk about the masculinity thing.

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Speaker 2: Where you where are you at with that? What are

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Speaker 2: the thoughts with that? What's right? Made you bring that up?

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Speaker 1: So there's a couple of things that that that it

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Speaker 1: sparked me to just say that. But my my state

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Speaker 1: of acute mania really made it clear to me that

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Speaker 1: I am a man that is I'm going to quote

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Speaker 1: Paul McCartney here, Uh, maybe I'm a man that's in

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Speaker 1: the middle of something that he doesn't really understand. That's

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Speaker 1: from a song. Maybe I'm amazed, And I mean that

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Speaker 1: that really resonates with me because we're all just men

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Speaker 1: and women and children trying to navigate this this world

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Speaker 1: for the first time, and how we how we respond

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Speaker 1: to our adversities and and things that things that really

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Speaker 1: bog us down and distract us from I mean, I'm

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Speaker 1: not very religious, but God's plan, I mean I think

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Speaker 1: there's a plan, there's a there's a path that all

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Speaker 1: of us are destined to be on. And I mean, so, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know. I mentioned the man because my parents think

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Speaker 1: of me lesser as a man because of the way

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Speaker 1: that I've been responding to this adversity in my life.

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Speaker 1: I mean, this last four weeks has been pretty hellish

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Speaker 1: for my parents because they've seen me. They've seen me

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Speaker 1: in a heightened state that they're not used to. So

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Speaker 1: every time I come home, my mom kind of just

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Speaker 1: says she wants her son back, and the son that

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Speaker 1: she once knew as her roommates. I mean, I've been

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Speaker 1: their essential, essentially their roommate for the last three years

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Speaker 1: since I turned eighteen and got my full time job

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Speaker 1: out of high school. They uh, they want that relationship back.

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Speaker 1: I think myself as lesser of a man then, because

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Speaker 1: I was addicted to poorn, I was addicted to my phone,

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Speaker 1: I was addicted to h to marijuana, all these these

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Speaker 1: crutches in my life that have have negatively, uh negatively

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Speaker 1: been impacting me. Uh, I've break, I've breaken free from

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Speaker 1: from from those things. I'm finally getting back in the gym.

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Speaker 1: I'm finally becoming the version of myself that I want

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Speaker 1: to be. So when I come home and my parents

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Speaker 1: think I'm lesser of a man because they don't recognize

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Speaker 1: this new me anymore, it's it's kind of disheartening.

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Speaker 2: So Okay, you don't have to get into it if

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Speaker 2: you don't want to. But you you described kind of

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Speaker 2: at the beginning of this some like manic episode where

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Speaker 2: you thought that you were God? What what was.

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Speaker 1: That it was? It was, I mean a cute mania.

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Speaker 1: I mean I just have have kind of I've done

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Speaker 1: a little bit of research, but what from my psychiatrist

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Speaker 1: has told me I had a God complex where where

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Speaker 1: I uh, man, it's a little it's still hard for

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Speaker 1: me to process this because it was it was riddled

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Speaker 1: by insomnia, it was riddled by my excessive marijuana usage.

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Speaker 1: There was a lot of there was a lot of

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Speaker 1: contributors to what led me to this state of acute

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Speaker 1: mania and I mean it was tough, man, it was.

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Speaker 1: It was a tough like week of in and out

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Speaker 1: of the er, in and out of fighting with my parents.

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Speaker 1: I mean, kind of spewing off the same same garbage

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Speaker 1: that I'm telling you now.

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Speaker 2: But do you do you know what sollipsism is.

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Speaker 1: I do not.

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Speaker 2: Okay, maybe I should maybe, maybe maybe I shouldn't send

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Speaker 2: you down this rabbit Maybe it's not responsible to send

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Speaker 2: you down.

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Speaker 1: I'm a huge fan of rabbit holes, but I don't.

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Speaker 2: It's probably not respond it's probably super irresponsible to send

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Speaker 2: you down this rabbit hole. But the only reason why

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Speaker 2: I and bringing it up is is, I guess in

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Speaker 2: relation to the god complex. Yeah, syllipsis, don't go don't

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Speaker 2: go too crazy on it. Please stay in the matrix. Okay,

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Speaker 2: the matrix is a nice place to be, especially when

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Speaker 2: you're twenty. Stay in the matrix as long as you can.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if my parents have escaped

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Speaker 1: the matrix for for the last four weeks and they

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Speaker 1: don't stand what I mean.

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Speaker 2: We can, we can, we can, we can talk about that,

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Speaker 2: but I don't whatever. Syllpsicism is this idea that your

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Speaker 2: consciousness is the because I've gone I've had a I've

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Speaker 2: recent not over the past year. As I've been hading,

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Speaker 2: you've listened to my podcast, you know, I'm going through

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Speaker 2: an existential crisis. As the year has been going, I've

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Speaker 2: also had like a weird God complex of this. And

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Speaker 2: here's what I mean by that is Syllipsism is the

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Speaker 2: idea that your own consciousness is the only verifiable thing

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Speaker 2: to you.

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Speaker 1: And so.

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Speaker 2: I know, yeah, well, it's the only thing that's verifiable

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Speaker 2: to you, and so it leads you down this path

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Speaker 2: of thinking, like, wait, theoretically I could be God. Not

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Speaker 2: in the sense of like I'm like, not in like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I'm better than everyone else kind of a sense, but

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Speaker 2: in like a oh, I'm the only thing that can

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Speaker 2: be verified, but I also have got but also the God,

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Speaker 2: the the like a God complex thing manifests itself in

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Speaker 2: this sense of like, sure, I'm God, but also everyone

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Speaker 2: is God because.

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Speaker 1: God lives in within, God lives in with all of us.

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Speaker 2: Man, well, well, the idea that like, I mean, look,

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Speaker 2: I'm create. I I am created out of fucking like

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Speaker 2: biological material and carbon and ship that is, you know,

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Speaker 2: part of my parents who were created out of carbon

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Speaker 2: and it just keeps good. Eventually, if we go back

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Speaker 2: farther enough, we get in from like how I got

401
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Speaker 2: here and how I'm able to have these thoughts and

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Speaker 2: how I'm able to be conscious of myself. We start

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Speaker 2: to delve into things that are beyond the known, and uh,

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Speaker 2: you know, I'm a I'm a conscious product of the universe.

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Speaker 2: I am the universe aka God. I don't know if

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Speaker 2: I believe in like a Christian God, but you know

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Speaker 2: what I mean, Like, you're you're you're born.

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Speaker 1: Of the p.

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Speaker 2: No, it's not everything, I'm everything. I'm saying like feels

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Speaker 2: very like empirical to be. I know, I use the

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Speaker 2: word too much. I'm saying like makes sense, Like I'm look,

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Speaker 2: I'm created of, Like I'm a weird thing. We all

413
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Speaker 2: are weird things. I'm a weird thing where I'm biological

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Speaker 2: material like the like created from the universe itself, and

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Speaker 2: I'm also conscious and I am experiencing the rest of

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Speaker 2: the universe. That's fucking crazy to me. It's a wild

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Speaker 2: it's a wild concept. So like be whatever, the whole

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Speaker 2: thing of, Like I'm the universe experiencing itself. Whatever. Blah

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Speaker 2: blah blah, Anyway, anyway, I'm sorry that was a huge tangent,

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Speaker 2: but that that's kind of I love it. But also,

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Speaker 2: but here's why I.

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Speaker 1: Say, you want to stream of consciousness, man, that's that's

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Speaker 1: that's what tis. I mean, that's why people are so

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Speaker 1: interested and you have diehard listeners, right, I mean your

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Speaker 1: stream of consciousness. When when you get into talking about

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Speaker 1: a subject matter that's as heavy as that, it's it

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Speaker 1: just it resonates so well with a lot of us,

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Speaker 1: like free thinkers, I would say, I mean, I.

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Speaker 2: I appreciate that, Mason. I want to keep on subject.

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Speaker 2: I want to keep on you is okay, So you

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Speaker 2: were talking about let me let me ask you this, man,

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Speaker 2: because what did the psychi when you when you went

433
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,480
Speaker 2: crazy and you went to the er and you and

434
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,199
Speaker 2: you saw the psychiatrist. What did they tell you?

435
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 1: So here's the thing. I was kind of in the

436
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:34,480
Speaker 1: midst of that god complex, but I was fully lucid

437
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:39,119
Speaker 1: and conscious the whole time. So I was actively trying

438
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:44,920
Speaker 1: to resist treatment. So I mean, for the first time

439
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 1: we went to the er, everything was was pretty chill

440
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 1: and dandy. These these medical professionals I'm air quoting right now, Okay,

441
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 1: all right, Well didn't didn't didn't see well? Right, right,

442
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,280
Speaker 1: I mean, at least at least for me. They are

443
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:05,159
Speaker 1: medical professionals. They are able to help people who need

444
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,640
Speaker 1: the help. But when when you don't feel as though

445
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 1: you need the help in that state of mind, because

446
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 1: I mean I was, because I was fully lucid and

447
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 1: aware of my surroundings, but it was it was more

448
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 1: of a spiritual awakening to me than it was any

449
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 1: form of diagnosis. That were you but the matrix could

450
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:27,639
Speaker 1: give me?

451
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:31,640
Speaker 2: Well, okay, I have again, I keep having thoughts about this.

452
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:34,040
Speaker 2: So were you when you say that in the in

453
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,479
Speaker 2: the in the time you were there, when you were lucid,

454
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:39,640
Speaker 2: you were not rejecting help, and you were and you

455
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 2: called them quote unquote medical professionals as I'm talking to

456
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 2: you right now, do you? And I'm not in the listen, listen, listen,

457
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:50,560
Speaker 2: let me let me right finish your quite And I'm I'm,

458
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 2: I'm I'm not in the businesses. Maybe I am, but

459
00:26:55,200 --> 00:27:00,399
Speaker 2: I was going to say, I I what fuck it do?

460
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 1: I had these right, I did think they could help me.

461
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:09,199
Speaker 1: But when I spend four hours of my life not

462
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:14,200
Speaker 1: seeking active help because my parents think I desperately need it.

463
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:17,359
Speaker 1: It seems like wasted time every time we went in there.

464
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,200
Speaker 1: The only time they were really of service to me

465
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 1: is when I was having direct symptoms of my medication.

466
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:29,040
Speaker 1: So I would I would go in there because my

467
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:33,159
Speaker 1: parents think I'm manic, which yeah, you could from an

468
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:37,600
Speaker 1: outsider's perspective, you could definitely say I was manic. But

469
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:40,400
Speaker 1: but I would rather be at homes like like going

470
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,960
Speaker 1: down rabbit holes, or watching YouTube or fucking jerking off,

471
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 1: like I mean, doing something that's productive to me in

472
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:51,359
Speaker 1: my life. Because when I was sitting in that hospital room,

473
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:56,200
Speaker 1: multiple hospital rooms for an extended period of time, waiting

474
00:27:56,240 --> 00:28:00,159
Speaker 1: for the medical professionals to come in and try to

475
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 1: diagnose what I'm what I'm undergoing, they weren't of any

476
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 1: service to me, and it really just left myself and

477
00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 1: my parents with more questions about what I was going through.

478
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,000
Speaker 2: I want to I just want to clarify. I want

479
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:15,399
Speaker 2: to clarify something. Are you talking right now from the

480
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:17,439
Speaker 2: perspective of you at the time, or this is how

481
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 2: you feel right now.

482
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:19,960
Speaker 1: Me at me at the time, this is this is

483
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 1: me at the time, This is me able four weeks

484
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 1: able to reflect on that time spent, because I mean,

485
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:32,359
Speaker 1: it's it's exactly a month to the date. I've been

486
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 1: trying to call the last couple of times because I

487
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 1: thought you would find my story interesting. But yeah, dude,

488
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's just a lot for me to process.

489
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 1: One is a man but also trying to find independence

490
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 1: and trying to break free from from the the societal

491
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 1: constructs that my parents have laid before me.

492
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,400
Speaker 2: What is this? What is the societal contract that what

493
00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 2: is the societal contract.

494
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:01,040
Speaker 1: That I that I need? That I need that I

495
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 1: need to find a job that will make me money.

496
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:10,680
Speaker 1: But during my awakening, I realized that this was not

497
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:14,239
Speaker 1: the job for me. Okay, And I mean, and I

498
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 1: feel like I'm actively like I feel like a caged

499
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 1: bird right now, who who wants to spread his wings

500
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 1: and fly. But I'm trying to find what I'm deeply,

501
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:30,000
Speaker 1: truly passionate about to kind of help me. But I mean,

502
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 1: I'm twenty one and the world's my oyster, right So

503
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 1: I mean, I I will I probably won't find that

504
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:41,600
Speaker 1: right now, but that's I've kind of been banking on

505
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:47,040
Speaker 1: cryptocurrency too much to help help me find this financial

506
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 1: freedom so I can take like a gap year in

507
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 1: my in my working history to find what what what really?

508
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 1: What really resonates with me for the since COVID, I've

509
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,960
Speaker 1: kind of had dreams of being a nomad and living

510
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 1: in a van down by the river, as Chris Barley

511
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 1: would say, or I mean taking a sailboat and going

512
00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:12,120
Speaker 1: and sailing from Seattle down to Hawaii. I mean, like

513
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 1: so very ambitious goals like that.

514
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:18,240
Speaker 2: Yeah. Actually I was. Yeah, I was like I think

515
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,320
Speaker 2: twenty twenty one when I first was like, oh I

516
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 2: want to do Yeah, when I was also I was

517
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 2: also at that age I was thinking a lot about

518
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 2: nomad adventures and those things. Yeah, have you well, but

519
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 2: also but also have you ever done anything like that?

520
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 1: No, sir okay, I mean other than other than backpacking,

521
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 1: camping trips, really trying to get in tune with the

522
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,640
Speaker 1: really just touching graphs. I mean other than that, No,

523
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,240
Speaker 1: because I haven't had the funds or means to do.

524
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 2: So you're up what fifty grand in crypto?

525
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 1: Yes, sir okay.

526
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 2: Have you ever been out of the country?

527
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:02,400
Speaker 1: Yes? Yeah, my parents were very fortunate enough to take

528
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 1: my brother and I exploring around the world. Was last year,

529
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 1: the year before we went and saw the Mayan ruins

530
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 1: down in Chietsa, Nitza, we had a we had a

531
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 1: tour guide there that really opened up my mind. And

532
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:25,640
Speaker 1: I mean, the sun gods and how the Mayans created

533
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 1: our calendar year fifty two seasons in a year, seven

534
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 1: days a week was all be able to they all

535
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 1: they read that from the sun. And I mean, I

536
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:39,480
Speaker 1: think in a lot of ways, society is more advanced.

537
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 1: Society was more advanced back then than it is now

538
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:46,240
Speaker 1: just because we have smartphones. I mean, I'm an old

539
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 1: soul that would really like to unplug from from the matrix,

540
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 1: if you will. I mean, because nomadic lifestyle just seems

541
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 1: like how our ancestors intended for us.

542
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 2: Let me tell you this, and this is there's no

543
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 2: correct philosophy on how to live. I don't believe. And

544
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:15,520
Speaker 2: also I don't. You and I might have different interpretations

545
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:20,400
Speaker 2: for what the quote unquote matrix is. Uh, my personal

546
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:26,880
Speaker 2: interpretation of what the matrix is is like, uh, you

547
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:29,360
Speaker 2: have kind of like where your brain is at when

548
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:32,440
Speaker 2: you're in some form of a spiritual awakening and you're

549
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 2: seeing beyond the day, the day to day, right, and

550
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 2: and the day to day and living in a society

551
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:43,680
Speaker 2: and stopping at stop signs and waiting in line at

552
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:48,600
Speaker 2: the CVS and talking to someone in a hallway and

553
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:53,480
Speaker 2: being on the computer and uh, you know, talking to

554
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 2: your mom on the phone and saying hi to somebody

555
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 2: who walks past you down the street like that, Like

556
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 2: that's the matrix or whatever, and or like you know,

557
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 2: you're waiting in line at a sandwich shop and you're like,

558
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:09,960
Speaker 2: why is this line not going? Or whatever? You know,

559
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:11,920
Speaker 2: you're that's that's I get, Like the matrix. That's like

560
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,440
Speaker 2: every day. And then like beyond that is where you're like,

561
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:17,800
Speaker 2: uh oh, what the fuck? I'm the universe experiencing itself

562
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 2: and what right? And my personal philosophy is you want

563
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 2: it is if you is. I was actually just talking

564
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:29,000
Speaker 2: about one of my friends about this, uh and and

565
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:32,320
Speaker 2: she disagreed. She wanted to live fully outside the matrix.

566
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 2: But this is how I think about these things.

567
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 1: Live fully outside the matrix will need to be firmly

568
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:41,280
Speaker 1: planted in reality.

569
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,880
Speaker 2: Okay, That's how that's what I was going. That's that's

570
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 2: what I was gonna say. Is I enjoy life the

571
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 2: most when I'm one foot inside always you gotta keep.

572
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 2: You gotta keep, especially if you're at the point where

573
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,480
Speaker 2: you know you're you're going through psychosis and you're going

574
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 2: to the er and you're you're really scaring the people

575
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,560
Speaker 2: around you, you want to keep. It's I think it's

576
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 2: good to explore that which is beyond the matrix. But

577
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:10,040
Speaker 2: you know what's funny. You know what's interesting is that

578
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 2: you explore all these things outside of the matrix, But

579
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:20,239
Speaker 2: then the real spirituality is kind of found within the

580
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:23,480
Speaker 2: matrix a little bit, right, right, It's kind of found

581
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 2: within the matrix. You know, it's found in very sure

582
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:32,759
Speaker 2: small things. I mean, you know when you're whatever. Let's

583
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 2: say you work at a fucking office and you are

584
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:38,520
Speaker 2: at the you're getting a snack from the fridge, and

585
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 2: your coworker is talking to you about some fucking thing

586
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,319
Speaker 2: they did over the weekend, and you're talking to them

587
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:49,440
Speaker 2: like that's very matrixy. But that's also but also but

588
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:53,760
Speaker 2: also being in the moment of that conversation has deep

589
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:58,080
Speaker 2: spiritual value, you know, so so go, so it's fun

590
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:01,759
Speaker 2: to explore yourself beyond the matrix and whatnot, But you

591
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:03,759
Speaker 2: got you bring it back, and you bring it back

592
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 2: and you use it to because you also you also

593
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 2: don't live there. Your your physical body and brain you

594
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 2: live in. You live in society. You can go off

595
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:15,719
Speaker 2: into the woods and remove yourself, but you, I don't

596
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 2: know if you're gonna have such a great time. You know,

597
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:20,279
Speaker 2: it's good to live in society. So you, you know,

598
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:23,120
Speaker 2: go off and have your spiritual awakenings and whatever, do

599
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:26,960
Speaker 2: your fucking ayahuasca and uh, I mean maybe don't do ayahuasca,

600
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:30,480
Speaker 2: but go and and do do those things. But but

601
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:34,320
Speaker 2: bring it, bring it back so that when you're whatever

602
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:39,239
Speaker 2: talking to your son one day about some bullshit, it's like,

603
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:42,920
Speaker 2: you can navigate the thing you act you can, you

604
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:46,000
Speaker 2: can use it to better navigate the thing you actually

605
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 2: live in. Does that make any sense to you? Or

606
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:49,319
Speaker 2: am I on a road?

607
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 1: No? It totally, It totally does, dude.

608
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:55,319
Speaker 2: Okay, because you, because you, if you, because you you

609
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,080
Speaker 2: realize a lot of things that are matrix y. You

610
00:35:57,160 --> 00:36:00,920
Speaker 2: really you have to make money to survive. You you

611
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 2: want a career or a or to pursue a passion

612
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:08,120
Speaker 2: of some kind that requires you to exist within your

613
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:13,879
Speaker 2: ego and your identity. Right, so the things you want

614
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:16,319
Speaker 2: are all matrixy, but that's good. If you live too

615
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 2: far outside of the matrix, you'll get I don't know.

616
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 2: I don't know what your brain is like. I only

617
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 2: have the experience of my brain. And when my brain

618
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:27,640
Speaker 2: goes too far outside of the matrix, I get lost.

619
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 2: I just get lost. I'm honored to you know, think

620
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:34,879
Speaker 2: about that ship, but you get And also, you've become

621
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:37,000
Speaker 2: an asshole when you talk to your even when you

622
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:40,000
Speaker 2: talk to your friends about the matrix. And the more

623
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 2: you talk to your friends about how you're the universe

624
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:46,360
Speaker 2: experiencing itself, the more they're gonna hate you.

625
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 1: So they think you're arrogant. They think you're an asshole.

626
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:53,520
Speaker 2: And I mean being arrogant about it only if you

627
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:54,440
Speaker 2: are right, you know.

628
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 1: Well, I say those things because that's how my parents

629
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 1: were referring to me when when I talk, And I mean,

630
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm trying to find that separation between me

631
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 1: living outside of the matrix while still living in the

632
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:13,839
Speaker 1: confines of my household, while still living in the confines

633
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:16,920
Speaker 1: of the matrix, going going, and clocking in every morning.

634
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:21,040
Speaker 1: But I think it takes a lot to navigate, man.

635
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 1: And uh, it seems like I'm too young to be

636
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 1: experiencing the world in this in this in this light

637
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:30,760
Speaker 1: at the moment, maybe.

638
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:35,840
Speaker 2: Sorry to storry to start to interrupt you, but also in

639
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:39,280
Speaker 2: talking about like I don't you shouldn't let your parents

640
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:42,279
Speaker 2: and the people are You shouldn't let your parents and

641
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 2: the people around you dilute you. You know what I mean,

642
00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 2: You should let them dilute you. You you shouldn't let

643
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:54,280
Speaker 2: them dilute you. But also you gotta learn to live

644
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 2: in the other people's contexts. You know, you gotta have

645
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:02,440
Speaker 2: the empathy for your parents myself. Got to put yourself

646
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,919
Speaker 2: in their shoes, and you got to understand how their

647
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:08,520
Speaker 2: brain works and how their world works, and you might

648
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:11,720
Speaker 2: you might be living in this world that's like spiritually

649
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:16,239
Speaker 2: beyond what they understand, not even in a douchey I

650
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:18,520
Speaker 2: don't even that sounds douchey, but you know what I mean.

651
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:22,960
Speaker 2: But you got to learn you gotta take some empathy

652
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:26,280
Speaker 2: and have it for them so that you can be like, Okay,

653
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:28,759
Speaker 2: I'm gonna what's the best way to be in this

654
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 2: situation with them right now? And that that shows that

655
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:34,640
Speaker 2: I because you got to you got to live in

656
00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:36,840
Speaker 2: their context. You can't let them you don't want to

657
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:38,440
Speaker 2: let them dilute you, and you don't want to let

658
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 2: them make you feel bad about yourself or make you

659
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 2: I'm trying.

660
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:48,120
Speaker 1: I'm trying hard, right, Yeah, I'm trying hard. But uh,

661
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:52,480
Speaker 1: I'm trying to separate myself from Agent Smith actively trying

662
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:56,239
Speaker 1: to to pull me back into their way of thinking. Right.

663
00:38:56,400 --> 00:39:00,320
Speaker 1: I mean, I refer to today I did my parents'

664
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 1: Agent Smith.

665
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 2: But that is really that is extremely funny. But I mean, well,

666
00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:06,440
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. I want to ask you.

667
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:08,760
Speaker 1: I I want to free slope, dude.

668
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:13,360
Speaker 2: I want to ask you. So, I mean, what is

669
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:16,520
Speaker 2: going on with your parents? Like? What is the deal there?

670
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 1: They? They love me almost too much. It feels like,

671
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:26,160
Speaker 1: like I said, it's overbearing. I've had this unconditioned, unconconditional

672
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 1: love for the last twenty one years of my existence.

673
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:32,919
Speaker 1: I will always know they love me, and I will

674
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:37,319
Speaker 1: always love them. But I don't feel as though I'm

675
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 1: in a a constant state to be parented anymore because

676
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:46,320
Speaker 1: I've I've found that in forms of mentors, mentors and

677
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 1: my job mentors in my life, my I I find

678
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 1: it hard to relate with my peers sometimes because because

679
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,279
Speaker 1: I'm an old soul. I feel like a man that's

680
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:02,879
Speaker 1: that's living in the sixties right now. If that makes

681
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:07,239
Speaker 1: any sense to you, I mean, I I I just

682
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:11,319
Speaker 1: I find it hard to come to terms with with

683
00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:16,920
Speaker 1: realities we know it today because I'm just reminiscent on

684
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:21,440
Speaker 1: on past societies, past cultures.

685
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:24,200
Speaker 2: Okayanna, I'm gonna I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you.

686
00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:28,680
Speaker 2: What is it about? And I want you to try it.

687
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:30,400
Speaker 2: I'm gonna try I want to try to rain this

688
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 2: in and get really specific here. What is it about

689
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 2: past societies that you think can't be found in the

690
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:45,359
Speaker 2: world that you currently live in? If you can give

691
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 2: me a specific answer about that, because I'm willing to

692
00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:50,719
Speaker 2: bet so.

693
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:57,680
Speaker 1: I'm immediately I'm immediately thinking of the movie Midnight in Paris.

694
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:02,319
Speaker 1: Owen Wilson goes to Paris and he hops in a

695
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 1: in a horse wagon and carriage, and it brings him

696
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 1: back to the nineteen twenties in a time where Paris, culture, literature,

697
00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:17,799
Speaker 1: evolution in society was at its finest. And what I

698
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:22,080
Speaker 1: took out of that message was people are people in

699
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:27,279
Speaker 1: the present are actively trying to go back to how

700
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:31,919
Speaker 1: things used to be. And I mean I'm just a man,

701
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:36,680
Speaker 1: and I know I can't charge the course of history,

702
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:38,680
Speaker 1: and I go back.

703
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 2: I gotta stap, I gotta stop you, I gotta stop you.

704
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry for forgetting your name, because I'm really

705
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 2: enjoying our conversation. But what was your name again? Mason?

706
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:48,960
Speaker 1: Mason?

707
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:50,880
Speaker 2: Mason Mason. I'm gonna stop you, and I'm going to

708
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 2: ask you again because you kind of did the thing

709
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:54,279
Speaker 2: that I thought you were going to do. Okay, right,

710
00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:57,239
Speaker 2: you kind of did the thing that I thought you

711
00:41:57,239 --> 00:41:58,919
Speaker 2: were going to do, which is fine, But I'm gonna

712
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:02,640
Speaker 2: ask you again. What's specifically do you think is gone

713
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:08,840
Speaker 2: from the past that you can't find today?

714
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 1: Really? Really nothing? The only the only thing something maybe

715
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:18,960
Speaker 1: the addition of smartphones, right, I mean, I just, I

716
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:22,520
Speaker 1: just I don't like the way that smartphones make the

717
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 1: common man think anymore, because everyone would rather be so

718
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:33,800
Speaker 1: sucked into the reality of their online screens. It's really

719
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 1: just the modern age of technology we live in. While

720
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 1: I reap the benefits of that, I also am reminiscent

721
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:41,839
Speaker 1: of a time where I had to go to the

722
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:45,200
Speaker 1: library to uh to find information.

723
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:52,399
Speaker 2: And I means I I I under here's the thing,

724
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:55,319
Speaker 2: and I get that. And actually I don't think you echo, uh,

725
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:58,880
Speaker 2: you don't echo an unpopular sentiment. And I think a

726
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:03,320
Speaker 2: lot of people, especially like you know, I mean, uh,

727
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:06,880
Speaker 2: you know, twenty one twenty seven is is not a

728
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:08,839
Speaker 2: crazy gap, but it is a gap. And I think

729
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:12,120
Speaker 2: a lot of people, you know, you were of the

730
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:15,480
Speaker 2: age where where we've only we've only known smartphones. And

731
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people do realize underneath it

732
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 2: that they don't like smartphone culture and they don't like it,

733
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:32,920
Speaker 2: and I I I think that you're not alone in that,

734
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:36,279
Speaker 2: and I think that there's opportunity in understanding that you're

735
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 2: not alone in that and going out to find uh,

736
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:45,640
Speaker 2: the more sort of intentional people and intentional communities that

737
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:51,839
Speaker 2: you seek. But you don't wanna you don't, I don't.

738
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 2: I just I just would you know, you're a smart guy, Mason,

739
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:58,680
Speaker 2: I would. I would hate for you to waste any

740
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:05,360
Speaker 2: time menting about the state of the world when you

741
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:10,239
Speaker 2: could be when you could be finding the people and

742
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 2: the places that are worth engaging, because you know, I

743
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:22,120
Speaker 2: fucking every you know, dude, every every This is not

744
00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:30,960
Speaker 2: a popular sentiment, but every epoch of history has had horrible,

745
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 2: horrible things going on. I mean, we had fucking like,

746
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:37,960
Speaker 2: we had two world wars. Man, Like, you know, there's

747
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:42,840
Speaker 2: never been a state of the world that was utopian.

748
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:46,400
Speaker 2: Maybe actually maybe maybe a little bit in the nineties,

749
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 2: but even then there's probably going on that was kind

750
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:55,120
Speaker 2: of when technology was perfect. But anyway, but anyway, like

751
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:57,440
Speaker 2: all the things that at least, if we're going to

752
00:44:57,520 --> 00:44:59,359
Speaker 2: talk about you as an individual, the things that you

753
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 2: seem to want, wants, you seem to want to just

754
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:05,719
Speaker 2: from talking to you, I'm gauging that you seem to

755
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:09,400
Speaker 2: want connection, you seem to want community, you seem to

756
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:13,080
Speaker 2: want to be able to express yourself. You seem to

757
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:15,920
Speaker 2: want adventures. Those are I mean, bro, those are my

758
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:20,760
Speaker 2: Those are my three big life values. Is adventure and community,

759
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:25,120
Speaker 2: creative expression, and you can you can find them. You

760
00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:28,560
Speaker 2: don't need to travel to fucking the eighteen hundred's. Life

761
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 2: would suck in the eighteen hundreds. Man, you're no, but

762
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:34,120
Speaker 2: I don't need to imagine.

763
00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:39,040
Speaker 1: Imagine. Imagine imagine a get Go pulling out their gun

764
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:42,560
Speaker 1: from there and being a gunslinger, right, just just like Rango.

765
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:45,719
Speaker 2: You know, Mason, I can Mason, Mason, I can buy

766
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:51,279
Speaker 2: a gun right now, I don't want a gun. You

767
00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:53,560
Speaker 2: can go have an advent. You can go to the

768
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:59,640
Speaker 2: library right now. You don't have to transport to so,

769
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:03,719
Speaker 2: you know, if I were just like again, I would

770
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:06,600
Speaker 2: hate for you to be lamenting the world you could

771
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 2: live in instead of realizing the opportunities that exist in

772
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 2: the world that you do live in. Especially you, I mean,

773
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:14,200
Speaker 2: you got you got it on lock I. I know

774
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 2: that the crypto or whatever. You understand that you've got

775
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:20,680
Speaker 2: to try to figure out some way to make money

776
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:24,600
Speaker 2: outside of the traditional ways in order to you know,

777
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:27,400
Speaker 2: you understand the concepts of financial freedom and you understand this.

778
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:31,719
Speaker 2: And then the air thing. As far as dealing with

779
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:40,280
Speaker 2: your parents, I mean, I don't know, man, you'll honestly,

780
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:44,160
Speaker 2: if I had to simplify my thoughts about this conversation

781
00:46:44,239 --> 00:46:45,960
Speaker 2: that we've had so far, I think you'll figure it out.

782
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:49,080
Speaker 2: But like, don't let yourself go too crazy, man, Like stay,

783
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:53,960
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? Stay stay? And also, yeah,

784
00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:57,920
Speaker 2: when other people want to help you, you should also be

785
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:01,160
Speaker 2: open to letting them to the degree that it doesn't

786
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:07,200
Speaker 2: dilute your your spirits and personality. You should let people

787
00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:11,880
Speaker 2: help you, especially medical professionals. Because also a lot of

788
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:15,319
Speaker 2: the fucking things that we think of as spiritual awakenings

789
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:20,040
Speaker 2: are truly just brain chemicals acting in crazy ways, you know.

790
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:26,280
Speaker 2: But yeah, so I don't know, let people, let people

791
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:30,120
Speaker 2: help you try to cultivate some form of empathy and

792
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:33,320
Speaker 2: understanding with your parents while not you know, while preserving

793
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:40,560
Speaker 2: yourself and yeah, just try to try your best. Man.

794
00:47:40,600 --> 00:47:42,160
Speaker 2: I don't know, it was a long rant, but.

795
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:45,800
Speaker 1: Oh dude, that exactly what I needed to hear today.

796
00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:50,680
Speaker 1: I do need to make amends with with my parents.

797
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:54,359
Speaker 1: I knew. We had a kind of drag out fight

798
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:59,400
Speaker 1: last night where I just I just wish conflict resolution

799
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 1: was more addressed in my upbringing because I'm actively trying

800
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:07,680
Speaker 1: to keep an open mind and kind of check my

801
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:11,240
Speaker 1: emotions at the door when I'm when I'm having conversations

802
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:15,920
Speaker 1: and really just taking in the full scope of scope

803
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:17,880
Speaker 1: of what they're saying. And I mean that kind of

804
00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:22,080
Speaker 1: ties back to living in the moment and and being

805
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:25,720
Speaker 1: an active listener. So you're not you're you're you're listening

806
00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:29,480
Speaker 1: and you're not reacting to what they are saying. Yeah,

807
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:32,440
Speaker 1: and that's that is still what I'm trying to juggle

808
00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:35,560
Speaker 1: and process right now is as I try to find

809
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:38,080
Speaker 1: my footing in this world, as we all are trying

810
00:48:38,120 --> 00:48:40,359
Speaker 1: to find our footing in this world. I mean, we're

811
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:48,040
Speaker 1: supposed to be ever changing individuals, and I mean I'm

812
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:56,080
Speaker 1: just I'm just trying to to evolve. Essentially. It's broadened

813
00:48:56,120 --> 00:49:00,000
Speaker 1: my horizons in a way that most people aren't open

814
00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:03,600
Speaker 1: to h to doing because they're they're content and they're

815
00:49:03,719 --> 00:49:07,440
Speaker 1: comfortable in their current way of thinking and there in

816
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:13,799
Speaker 1: their current environment and circumstances, and uh, the wilderness must

817
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:14,560
Speaker 1: be explored.

818
00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:21,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, well try not to trying to I I uh,

819
00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 2: you know what's funny is I actually do think especially

820
00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:27,279
Speaker 2: I think when you're younger and you're I you know,

821
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 2: when you're like young and ambitious, there is a tendency

822
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:33,600
Speaker 2: to think of yourself in terms of others, which is

823
00:49:33,719 --> 00:49:36,319
Speaker 2: what you're saying of like, you know, I want to

824
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 2: explore the wilderness and I don't want to be like

825
00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:42,400
Speaker 2: the other people. And that's actually it's a weird. It's

826
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:48,120
Speaker 2: a helpful jump start slash motivator to getting yourself out

827
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:51,000
Speaker 2: and in the world and doing shit. But you know,

828
00:49:51,080 --> 00:49:54,080
Speaker 2: then it's funny. I mean, I've been on that jur

829
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:56,040
Speaker 2: I'm still on the journey. But then you kind of

830
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:59,000
Speaker 2: do all that stuff and then you come back down

831
00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:02,160
Speaker 2: to earth and you're like, oh, we were all we

832
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:05,680
Speaker 2: we were all kind of the same and some Yeah,

833
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:09,600
Speaker 2: I don't know anyway, Mason.

834
00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:12,080
Speaker 1: At the end of the day, we're all human, right, Yes,

835
00:50:12,239 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 1: we're all human.

836
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:20,400
Speaker 2: We're all destined for who knows. We didn't talk about

837
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:23,960
Speaker 2: the job thing. Yeah, we can talk about it briefly

838
00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:25,200
Speaker 2: if you want. What do you want to do?

839
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:29,759
Speaker 1: Dude? That's That's still what I'm trying to figure out

840
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:33,839
Speaker 1: because I was I was content with so when I

841
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 1: when I graduated, my my walkout speech was I want

842
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:41,279
Speaker 1: to win the lottery and I want to buy the

843
00:50:41,280 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 1: theme park that I've worked at my entire life. Uh.

844
00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:48,680
Speaker 1: The owner of the theme park saw that and uh

845
00:50:48,760 --> 00:50:52,439
Speaker 1: and had a chuckle. But I mean, I've always I've

846
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:55,279
Speaker 1: kind of been a one track mind up until my

847
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:58,200
Speaker 1: acute mania, So I mean I would I would have

848
00:50:58,200 --> 00:51:00,960
Speaker 1: been content with working at this place my entire life,

849
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:04,759
Speaker 1: but I'm actively trying to veer away from from that

850
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:08,520
Speaker 1: way of thinking and uh and realize there's more to

851
00:51:08,719 --> 00:51:13,480
Speaker 1: life than to the than than working at the same

852
00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:17,560
Speaker 1: job my entire working career. So right now, I think

853
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:25,120
Speaker 1: I'm trying to expand my resume. I mean, the resume

854
00:51:25,320 --> 00:51:29,360
Speaker 1: comes to like gaining world experience as well as my

855
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:33,840
Speaker 1: working career. So I mean, I'm I'm almost thinking working

856
00:51:33,880 --> 00:51:37,160
Speaker 1: for a cruise line and uh and being able to

857
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:41,239
Speaker 1: being able to see the world while also getting a

858
00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:48,120
Speaker 1: steady paycheck, living living abroad and living aboard a vessel. Right, So,

859
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:52,080
Speaker 1: I mean, I think there's there's proper ways to go

860
00:51:52,200 --> 00:51:57,759
Speaker 1: about this that kind of tap into the what I'm

861
00:51:57,800 --> 00:52:00,520
Speaker 1: what I'm actively searching for, and that's just a sense

862
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:04,359
Speaker 1: of connection and a sense of humanity because I kind

863
00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:07,320
Speaker 1: of I kind of radiate off the energy I receive

864
00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 1: in the world. So I mean, if I'm if I'm

865
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:15,080
Speaker 1: around a group of people, my my initial instinct is

866
00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:18,439
Speaker 1: to bring the spirits of others up. So I kind

867
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:20,080
Speaker 1: of do that in the form of being a stand

868
00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:22,040
Speaker 1: up comedian. I kind of do that in the form

869
00:52:22,120 --> 00:52:28,240
Speaker 1: of being courteous and uh and charismatic and gentle to others.

870
00:52:29,239 --> 00:52:33,279
Speaker 1: But when when I'm when I'm receiving toxic energy or

871
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:38,839
Speaker 1: or hearing things that I mean that are coming from

872
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:42,920
Speaker 1: a place of love. But yeah, I just I need

873
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 1: to be more open and understanding kind of like you're saying.

874
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:48,040
Speaker 2: But you. But I also I think that what you're

875
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:50,239
Speaker 2: talking I think everything you're talking about is is sort

876
00:52:50,280 --> 00:52:54,200
Speaker 2: of a natural process of maturity that you go. I mean,

877
00:52:54,239 --> 00:52:58,359
Speaker 2: you're still still young man. I think. I think I'll

878
00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:01,000
Speaker 2: let you go in a sec But I I think

879
00:53:01,239 --> 00:53:07,400
Speaker 2: that the hunches that you have to make more of

880
00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:10,960
Speaker 2: your life and do more things and try to put

881
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:12,880
Speaker 2: yourself out there by you know whatever, going on a

882
00:53:12,880 --> 00:53:15,080
Speaker 2: cruise line or maybe doing like a work away or

883
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:18,200
Speaker 2: some shit, I think they're great hunches. And I and

884
00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:19,719
Speaker 2: I think that a lot of the things you're going

885
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:23,960
Speaker 2: for sort of emotionally or spiritually, they kind of come

886
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:32,040
Speaker 2: as a result of like natural maturity. So I just

887
00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:36,799
Speaker 2: I'm gonna let you go, but I'll say don't let

888
00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:39,040
Speaker 2: just don't let just don't let yourself go too crazy,

889
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:41,719
Speaker 2: and try to let people help you if they feel like, yeah,

890
00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:44,719
Speaker 2: they feel like you need help. Mason, is there anything

891
00:53:44,719 --> 00:53:45,719
Speaker 2: else you want to say to the people of the

892
00:53:45,719 --> 00:53:46,719
Speaker 2: computer before we go.

893
00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:51,800
Speaker 1: Not necessarily to the computer, I do have a thought

894
00:53:51,880 --> 00:53:54,800
Speaker 1: for you. Have you ever thought about doing a therapy

895
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:58,320
Speaker 1: get go podcast out of an airplane as you're actively

896
00:53:58,920 --> 00:54:01,520
Speaker 1: skydiving for the first time, or if you if you

897
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:03,799
Speaker 1: haven't been skydiving before. I think that would be a

898
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:04,960
Speaker 1: good piece of content.

899
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:07,200
Speaker 2: I unfortunately hate that idea.

900
00:54:07,239 --> 00:54:07,440
Speaker 1: I have.

901
00:54:07,520 --> 00:54:12,160
Speaker 2: No, I'm not interested in, Yeah I do. I I'm

902
00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:17,239
Speaker 2: not interested in like extreme sports or things that in

903
00:54:17,360 --> 00:54:20,560
Speaker 2: like any kind of like physical danger, right, But I

904
00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:23,240
Speaker 2: like But I appreciate the idea. I appreciate the idea.

905
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:26,320
Speaker 2: I think I would. No, I would, I would ship

906
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:28,719
Speaker 2: my pants. There's way, but there's there's way other things

907
00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:31,799
Speaker 2: that I would rather do than skydive. But who knows.

908
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:35,279
Speaker 1: Then the people, the computer. I just want to say,

909
00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:39,040
Speaker 1: live and let live, and I mean be the best

910
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:40,319
Speaker 1: version of yourself every day.

911
00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:44,320
Speaker 2: So beautiful. Thanks for listen, Thanks for the kind words

912
00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:46,320
Speaker 2: you have about the podcast, Thanks for sharing your story,

913
00:54:46,840 --> 00:54:49,960
Speaker 2: and I'll uh I'll see you around the universe.

914
00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:53,200
Speaker 1: Misson absolutely man, thank you for the time. Take care

915
00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:56,080
Speaker 1: of you.

916
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:56,160
Speaker 3: Know.

917
00:54:56,200 --> 00:54:58,200
Speaker 2: It's funny he said he's listened to every episode. I

918
00:54:58,239 --> 00:55:06,440
Speaker 2: wonder if he's gonna listen back to himself on this episode.

919
00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:09,640
Speaker 2: That could be crazy. That could be crazy. I liked

920
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:16,520
Speaker 2: that conversation. Yeah, I do feel like I actually I

921
00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:20,440
Speaker 2: feel I felt a lot in common with Mason, like

922
00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:24,640
Speaker 2: like thinking about like me at twenty one, Not so

923
00:55:24,719 --> 00:55:27,439
Speaker 2: much the existential stuff. I wasn't particular I was maybe

924
00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:29,880
Speaker 2: I was a little bit existential when I was twenty

925
00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:31,960
Speaker 2: I was definitely a little bit existential when I was

926
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:34,880
Speaker 2: twenty one, not to the degree that I am now

927
00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:39,080
Speaker 2: or to the degree that I think Mason might be.

928
00:55:39,239 --> 00:55:44,720
Speaker 2: But I definitely had the same sort of adventurous spirit

929
00:55:44,880 --> 00:55:51,920
Speaker 2: or desire to find something beyond what I what I knew.

930
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:56,480
Speaker 2: But yeah, I think I think he'll arrive at certain

931
00:55:56,520 --> 00:56:03,200
Speaker 2: places again through just some natural maturity. And that was

932
00:56:03,239 --> 00:56:05,840
Speaker 2: and that was that call, and I am a gecko.

933
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:13,000
Speaker 3: Hello, Hi, I'm Cora. Wow, this is crazy. How's it going?

934
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:17,239
Speaker 2: Uh? You know, actually this morning is going good. I

935
00:56:17,280 --> 00:56:22,480
Speaker 2: feel good. I'm here on the earth. I'm asking a

936
00:56:22,719 --> 00:56:28,560
Speaker 2: lot of questions to my brain, but you know, doing

937
00:56:28,560 --> 00:56:31,680
Speaker 2: the best, doing the best I can. How are you doing, Coorra?

938
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:32,200
Speaker 2: What's up?

939
00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:40,360
Speaker 3: I'm doing pretty good? You know, I'm feeling I remember

940
00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:43,480
Speaker 3: you told the listener one time, is the least important

941
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:47,120
Speaker 3: conversation that you'll ever have. I'm trying to tell myself

942
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:50,680
Speaker 3: that right now. Yeah, you know is doing pretty good.

943
00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:52,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, breakout work.

944
00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:56,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is among one of the least important conversations

945
00:56:57,239 --> 00:57:00,440
Speaker 2: I think you'll have. What's what's your life like side

946
00:57:00,440 --> 00:57:01,440
Speaker 2: of this conversation.

947
00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:08,840
Speaker 3: Well, I'm a trans woman. Uh. I just moved to

948
00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:16,480
Speaker 3: Seattle from the Midwest, so that's a pretty interesting change.

949
00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:19,960
Speaker 3: I'm living with a couple, so it's me and then

950
00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:23,560
Speaker 3: two people that are dating in a two bedroom, which

951
00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:28,400
Speaker 3: is only the second weirdest roommate situation I've had. But yeah,

952
00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:30,480
Speaker 3: that's pretty much what my life looks like right now.

953
00:57:31,720 --> 00:57:34,560
Speaker 2: Why is that a weird situation for you? Is it?

954
00:57:34,640 --> 00:57:36,480
Speaker 2: Do you feel like you're third wheeling these people?

955
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:41,760
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, no, it's it's like chill, we're all we're

956
00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:46,480
Speaker 3: all like queer, so it's not like super awkward.

957
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:47,840
Speaker 1: I think.

958
00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:53,440
Speaker 3: I think we've avoided awkward situations so far. But you know,

959
00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:57,760
Speaker 3: sometimes I got to set boundaries, you know, got to

960
00:57:57,800 --> 00:58:01,960
Speaker 3: be like, don't share, don't be intimate around me, you know,

961
00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:02,680
Speaker 3: stuff like that.

962
00:58:04,480 --> 00:58:06,959
Speaker 2: What was the other roommate situation that you were in?

963
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:14,400
Speaker 3: My ex? So I lived with my ex for like, wow,

964
00:58:14,440 --> 00:58:16,160
Speaker 3: I just saw someone run over a traffic cop and

965
00:58:16,160 --> 00:58:19,680
Speaker 3: that's crazy A sorry. So I lived with my ex

966
00:58:19,720 --> 00:58:25,600
Speaker 3: for like a year after we broke up, and that

967
00:58:25,760 --> 00:58:29,240
Speaker 3: was the weirdest roommate situation I think I have ever

968
00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:37,600
Speaker 3: been in. And I think I mean, obviously that's already weird,

969
00:58:37,720 --> 00:58:42,640
Speaker 3: but it was mainly weird because they started dating someone

970
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:46,640
Speaker 3: like very shortly after we broke up and continued to

971
00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:47,280
Speaker 3: live together.

972
00:58:49,240 --> 00:58:51,640
Speaker 2: Did they have the person that they were dating over

973
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:53,760
Speaker 2: the house while you guys were living together?

974
00:58:55,280 --> 00:58:55,960
Speaker 1: Yeah?

975
00:58:56,680 --> 00:58:58,960
Speaker 2: Were you guys sharing like a one bedroom or a

976
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:00,640
Speaker 2: studio or did Aulae have your own room?

977
00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:03,880
Speaker 3: So I had my own room. We shared a wall,

978
00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 3: so I did hear some things. It's kind of weird,

979
00:59:08,640 --> 00:59:10,120
Speaker 3: kind of felt like I was sitting in the cuck

980
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:11,560
Speaker 3: chair sometimes, you know what I mean?

981
00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:16,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. Whose idea was it to break up.

982
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 1: Theirs?

983
00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:30,080
Speaker 2: Ah? Yeah, yeah, it was like yeah, yeah, go ahead, Oh.

984
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:31,840
Speaker 1: No it was. It was just like.

985
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:35,920
Speaker 3: A bad relationship though, So I think they're kind of valid,

986
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:39,840
Speaker 3: you know, I think we were just we were together

987
00:59:39,920 --> 00:59:42,080
Speaker 3: for like four and a half years or something when

988
00:59:42,080 --> 00:59:46,800
Speaker 3: we broke up, and I'm twenty four. I just turned

989
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:50,200
Speaker 3: twenty four, so like we were together for like since

990
00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:52,520
Speaker 3: like high school, so you know.

991
00:59:56,240 --> 00:59:58,480
Speaker 2: And are you outdating anyone? Now? Are you? What are

992
00:59:58,480 --> 00:59:58,840
Speaker 2: you doing?

993
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:04,840
Speaker 3: Mm hmm. You know, I've been thinking about getting on

994
01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:10,920
Speaker 3: dating apps. I feel like i've kind of I've not

995
01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:16,120
Speaker 3: been dating or been interested in anything romantic since I moved.

996
01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:19,520
Speaker 3: I don't know why. I feel like I've just been

997
01:00:19,640 --> 01:00:21,800
Speaker 3: like since I was in a relationship for so long,

998
01:00:21,880 --> 01:00:26,120
Speaker 3: I've just been like enjoying doing my own saying, oh

999
01:00:26,160 --> 01:00:27,600
Speaker 3: my god, mm.

1000
01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:31,800
Speaker 2: Hm m hm uh what is it? What is your

1001
01:00:31,800 --> 01:00:33,080
Speaker 2: own thing that you've been doing?

1002
01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:44,440
Speaker 3: Well, I let's see. My big three hobbies are like music,

1003
01:00:44,960 --> 01:00:53,000
Speaker 3: video games, and I make like YouTube videos. But yeah,

1004
01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:57,040
Speaker 3: I would say, I feel that's a weird. I feel

1005
01:00:57,040 --> 01:00:59,720
Speaker 3: like we're bringing up YouTube videos on your podcast.

1006
01:00:59,760 --> 01:01:01,720
Speaker 1: Sorry that I was, well, I.

1007
01:01:01,680 --> 01:01:02,880
Speaker 2: Was gonna ask. I was gonna ask what kind of

1008
01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:05,480
Speaker 2: YouTube videos? What kind of YouTube videos?

1009
01:01:06,520 --> 01:01:10,320
Speaker 3: So I got I just started a podcast actually, And

1010
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:14,520
Speaker 3: then I also make me and one of my roommates

1011
01:01:14,560 --> 01:01:19,720
Speaker 3: makes We both make video essays and I I edit

1012
01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:20,520
Speaker 3: them and stuff.

1013
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:23,680
Speaker 2: So yeah, the thing, what was the last thing you

1014
01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:24,800
Speaker 2: made a video essay about?

1015
01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:30,400
Speaker 3: Well, the last thing I'm The thing I'm about to

1016
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:34,040
Speaker 3: upload is so I make anime videos. But like I'm

1017
01:01:34,040 --> 01:01:37,600
Speaker 3: also queer, So I want to get like a queer audience, right,

1018
01:01:37,800 --> 01:01:41,040
Speaker 3: So I thought, what better thing to cover than to

1019
01:01:41,120 --> 01:01:47,120
Speaker 3: talk about futinari? What the you know that is?

1020
01:01:48,560 --> 01:01:48,800
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1021
01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:52,920
Speaker 2: I probably I I what is what is Fuinariutinari?

1022
01:01:53,040 --> 01:01:54,680
Speaker 3: Well, I'm going to be the caller that teaches you

1023
01:01:54,680 --> 01:01:55,440
Speaker 3: about futinari.

1024
01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:57,000
Speaker 1: Okay, So this.

1025
01:01:57,080 --> 01:02:02,200
Speaker 3: Is essentially like Tai you know head Tai. It's that

1026
01:02:02,680 --> 01:02:09,760
Speaker 3: but with girls with like massive penises, and that's essentially.

1027
01:02:09,360 --> 01:02:09,960
Speaker 1: The whole meme.

1028
01:02:12,880 --> 01:02:15,960
Speaker 3: And my video was on whether or not it's representation

1029
01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:17,720
Speaker 3: because it's kind of fetishizing.

1030
01:02:17,880 --> 01:02:19,120
Speaker 1: So it was kind of just like.

1031
01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:23,200
Speaker 3: A pseudo intellectual video essay about that.

1032
01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:31,960
Speaker 2: But yeah, you know, can I I'm very curious about

1033
01:02:32,320 --> 01:02:36,520
Speaker 2: what you think about this? Is like, is is the idea?

1034
01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:39,080
Speaker 2: And I don't know, maybe this is a stupid thing

1035
01:02:39,080 --> 01:02:42,880
Speaker 2: to talk about. But like in the current world right

1036
01:02:42,920 --> 01:02:45,760
Speaker 2: where like everyone like we're no longer living in a

1037
01:02:45,840 --> 01:02:51,080
Speaker 2: mono culture, like is representation still a thing because like

1038
01:02:51,120 --> 01:02:54,440
Speaker 2: we're all kind of representing ourselves on the internet now,

1039
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:57,440
Speaker 2: So it's like I don't, well, I don't know, I

1040
01:02:57,480 --> 01:03:00,360
Speaker 2: don't know. I'm curious what you think because like I

1041
01:03:00,360 --> 01:03:03,400
Speaker 2: don't know, do we need like, do are people still

1042
01:03:03,400 --> 01:03:08,280
Speaker 2: like hung up about like representation and like mainstream media

1043
01:03:08,360 --> 01:03:11,600
Speaker 2: if there isn't any mainstream media really, I mean there

1044
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:14,280
Speaker 2: still is, I guess mainstream media, but it's like dying,

1045
01:03:14,680 --> 01:03:16,560
Speaker 2: you know. So it's like when you because like when

1046
01:03:16,600 --> 01:03:20,400
Speaker 2: you scroll on TikTok or Instagram reels, you already get

1047
01:03:20,560 --> 01:03:29,000
Speaker 2: like you're algorithmically you're presented with representations of yourself like naturally,

1048
01:03:29,960 --> 01:03:32,200
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't I'm just spitballing ideas here.

1049
01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:33,400
Speaker 2: But what do you think about that?

1050
01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:37,280
Speaker 3: No, that's so real because like before you page, my

1051
01:03:37,400 --> 01:03:39,800
Speaker 3: for you page is all people that are like me.

1052
01:03:39,960 --> 01:03:43,280
Speaker 3: It's all great people and other than like stuff that

1053
01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:44,560
Speaker 3: goes viral and just ends.

1054
01:03:44,480 --> 01:03:45,320
Speaker 1: Up there naturally.

1055
01:03:45,480 --> 01:03:47,760
Speaker 3: Like it's mostly people that are like me. So I

1056
01:03:47,760 --> 01:03:51,000
Speaker 3: am represented by my social media and takes. That's an

1057
01:03:51,000 --> 01:03:54,320
Speaker 3: interesting point. I feel like a lot of people have

1058
01:03:54,400 --> 01:03:59,720
Speaker 3: been like just like so disillusioned by popular media like

1059
01:03:59,800 --> 01:04:02,920
Speaker 3: move like Marvel movies. For example, they were going to

1060
01:04:02,960 --> 01:04:09,320
Speaker 3: release a comic for Marvel called Snowflake and Safe Space,

1061
01:04:10,400 --> 01:04:13,680
Speaker 3: and it was supposed to be representation for non binary superheroes.

1062
01:04:13,760 --> 01:04:16,080
Speaker 3: But it's like obviously that's so cringe to have a

1063
01:04:16,080 --> 01:04:20,320
Speaker 3: superhero called Snowflake and safe space. And I feel like

1064
01:04:20,360 --> 01:04:22,640
Speaker 3: that's a great example of like, yeah, we don't need

1065
01:04:22,680 --> 01:04:26,160
Speaker 3: representation when it's like a billion dollar corporation. They don't

1066
01:04:26,160 --> 01:04:26,880
Speaker 3: know what they're doing.

1067
01:04:27,520 --> 01:04:30,040
Speaker 1: We're not even looking for that anyways.

1068
01:04:29,680 --> 01:04:33,800
Speaker 2: Right right, I mean kind of like, you know, I

1069
01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:36,000
Speaker 2: guess who gives a shit what like the billion dollar

1070
01:04:36,080 --> 01:04:41,920
Speaker 2: or whatever. I don't know. I feel like social media,

1071
01:04:42,080 --> 01:04:46,960
Speaker 2: although people have demonized lots of aspects of it, it

1072
01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:53,560
Speaker 2: has allowed for greater democratization of the media landscape. You know, well,

1073
01:04:53,760 --> 01:04:55,800
Speaker 2: I got okay, I got a question for you, So listen,

1074
01:04:55,800 --> 01:04:58,480
Speaker 2: as a queer person, how do you feel when like

1075
01:04:58,960 --> 01:05:02,520
Speaker 2: what a target or whatever, or like like during Pride Month,

1076
01:05:02,600 --> 01:05:05,040
Speaker 2: right when all these companies are like, hey, look we

1077
01:05:05,040 --> 01:05:07,160
Speaker 2: have a ring, we changed our profile picture to the

1078
01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:10,960
Speaker 2: rainbow flag. But it's still like, you know, we're doing

1079
01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:13,800
Speaker 2: a bunch of crazy stuff behind the scenes, Like does

1080
01:05:14,040 --> 01:05:16,320
Speaker 2: is that do anything for you? You know?

1081
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:19,720
Speaker 3: I have a funny anecdote about this. There was like

1082
01:05:19,800 --> 01:05:22,480
Speaker 3: a viral video of someone like trashing of Barnes and

1083
01:05:22,520 --> 01:05:26,160
Speaker 3: Noble Pride display. So it's like from down the street,

1084
01:05:26,160 --> 01:05:30,880
Speaker 3: from where it grew up, like at my Barnes and Nobles,

1085
01:05:30,920 --> 01:05:33,440
Speaker 3: and I think that was.

1086
01:05:33,400 --> 01:05:34,200
Speaker 1: Like two years ago.

1087
01:05:34,680 --> 01:05:37,960
Speaker 3: This year, companies did not really do the whole Pride thing,

1088
01:05:38,760 --> 01:05:40,800
Speaker 3: and I think it's because of stuff like that where

1089
01:05:40,800 --> 01:05:44,120
Speaker 3: people were coming in and like screaming about like tucking underwear.

1090
01:05:44,840 --> 01:05:48,080
Speaker 3: You know, I wish stuff like that, you know, Like

1091
01:05:48,120 --> 01:05:52,440
Speaker 3: the Target specifically is tragic because like sometimes they do

1092
01:05:52,520 --> 01:05:57,000
Speaker 3: be having cute stuff at Target, you know, like yeah,

1093
01:05:57,080 --> 01:05:59,840
Speaker 3: and it really depends on the store. Also, I saw

1094
01:06:00,640 --> 01:06:04,880
Speaker 3: there's like always a meme like a Cracion Pride profile picture,

1095
01:06:05,200 --> 01:06:10,240
Speaker 3: you know, like you're telling me Pride profile picture, Like okay,

1096
01:06:10,680 --> 01:06:11,320
Speaker 3: but I guess I.

1097
01:06:11,320 --> 01:06:13,120
Speaker 2: Don't like when you see that, you know, and it's

1098
01:06:13,120 --> 01:06:15,280
Speaker 2: got like like like the trans flag in it, Like

1099
01:06:15,320 --> 01:06:17,280
Speaker 2: does that do anything for you? Does that make you feel?

1100
01:06:18,160 --> 01:06:21,800
Speaker 2: Is that do you like that stuff? Uh?

1101
01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:25,160
Speaker 3: No, It's I feel like it's more of a meme.

1102
01:06:25,800 --> 01:06:27,640
Speaker 3: I feel like it's kind of like an indicator of

1103
01:06:27,720 --> 01:06:29,840
Speaker 3: just like whoever's president, you know what I mean, Like

1104
01:06:29,920 --> 01:06:30,440
Speaker 3: how like.

1105
01:06:32,160 --> 01:06:33,840
Speaker 1: How which which way.

1106
01:06:33,880 --> 01:06:36,200
Speaker 3: The tides turning in terms of which is more profitable,

1107
01:06:36,240 --> 01:06:36,880
Speaker 3: you know what I mean?

1108
01:06:36,880 --> 01:06:37,240
Speaker 2: They don't.

1109
01:06:37,920 --> 01:06:41,640
Speaker 3: It's more of like a yeah, No, it doesn't do

1110
01:06:41,640 --> 01:06:44,280
Speaker 3: anything for me. It's just more interesting.

1111
01:06:45,160 --> 01:06:48,200
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. What you what, you grew up in the Midwest?

1112
01:06:49,320 --> 01:06:52,000
Speaker 3: Yes, I grew up in Arizona, so kind of Midwest

1113
01:06:52,080 --> 01:06:53,280
Speaker 3: kind of okay?

1114
01:06:53,440 --> 01:06:59,320
Speaker 2: Was there a lot of queer culture in the Arizona.

1115
01:06:58,560 --> 01:07:00,800
Speaker 3: There is a lot of queer culture, or in Arizona.

1116
01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:03,880
Speaker 3: It's kind of a weird state because everything's so spread

1117
01:07:03,920 --> 01:07:07,760
Speaker 3: out and it's so hot, so no one fucking goes outside.

1118
01:07:08,240 --> 01:07:10,680
Speaker 3: So the community there is very like spread out and

1119
01:07:10,800 --> 01:07:13,520
Speaker 3: not very centralized. But there are a lot of gay

1120
01:07:13,560 --> 01:07:15,560
Speaker 3: people that live in Arizona.

1121
01:07:18,280 --> 01:07:20,320
Speaker 2: Were you in a major city or were you in

1122
01:07:20,640 --> 01:07:21,640
Speaker 2: kind of a smaller place.

1123
01:07:23,280 --> 01:07:26,440
Speaker 3: I was in a major city, so I went to Asu,

1124
01:07:28,600 --> 01:07:32,640
Speaker 3: and yeah, so that area was pretty gay. But there's

1125
01:07:32,680 --> 01:07:35,640
Speaker 3: also a lot of everyone there because international students and

1126
01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:39,640
Speaker 3: just everyone in college town, you know. But yeah, I

1127
01:07:39,640 --> 01:07:41,320
Speaker 3: think Arizona.

1128
01:07:40,840 --> 01:07:41,720
Speaker 1: Is like very weird.

1129
01:07:43,960 --> 01:07:47,760
Speaker 3: It's like, I mean, obviously all the young people are

1130
01:07:47,800 --> 01:07:51,720
Speaker 3: like general like West Coast demographic, but also like we

1131
01:07:51,800 --> 01:07:54,680
Speaker 3: have so many boomers that are just giving, like straight,

1132
01:07:54,800 --> 01:08:00,520
Speaker 3: like midwestern small town like evangelical Christian, Like who am

1133
01:08:00,560 --> 01:08:02,280
Speaker 3: I about to talk to right now? When I'm going

1134
01:08:02,320 --> 01:08:06,560
Speaker 3: for the fries, you know, likeice old lady or like

1135
01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:10,080
Speaker 3: crazy person. You know, that's kind of how it fell

1136
01:08:10,120 --> 01:08:11,840
Speaker 3: for me. I don't know if this is like the

1137
01:08:11,880 --> 01:08:16,439
Speaker 3: same experience for anyone listening. Obviously, I'm a trans woman,

1138
01:08:16,720 --> 01:08:18,479
Speaker 3: so I kind of view it through like a more

1139
01:08:18,479 --> 01:08:21,400
Speaker 3: bias lens. I'm sure it's trail for some people.

1140
01:08:21,560 --> 01:08:27,160
Speaker 2: But yeah, And how has Seattle been in comparison just

1141
01:08:27,280 --> 01:08:28,639
Speaker 2: I mean sort of just in general?

1142
01:08:30,520 --> 01:08:34,800
Speaker 3: Oh oh, it's awesome. I mean for queer people, this

1143
01:08:34,920 --> 01:08:37,280
Speaker 3: is like the best place to be I'm telling you

1144
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:41,640
Speaker 3: Capitol Hill and like just Seattle in general, there's like

1145
01:08:42,760 --> 01:08:45,120
Speaker 3: I mean, I actually am seeing people like same sex

1146
01:08:45,160 --> 01:08:48,160
Speaker 3: couple's hold hands in public, which is something I had

1147
01:08:48,240 --> 01:08:54,560
Speaker 3: never seen before, like outside of Pride Parade. So that's interesting.

1148
01:08:54,800 --> 01:08:59,200
Speaker 3: I think also people in Seattle, it's kind of funny

1149
01:08:59,280 --> 01:09:01,320
Speaker 3: people in Seattle suck and saying hi to you on

1150
01:09:01,360 --> 01:09:03,320
Speaker 3: the street. I don't know, what do you think do

1151
01:09:03,360 --> 01:09:05,519
Speaker 3: you enjoy when people say, like, hey, how are you?

1152
01:09:05,880 --> 01:09:09,760
Speaker 2: They suck at saying hi? Well, I feel like in

1153
01:09:09,840 --> 01:09:12,880
Speaker 2: any big city you're not going to get people saying

1154
01:09:12,920 --> 01:09:14,280
Speaker 2: hi to you on the street.

1155
01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:15,360
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

1156
01:09:16,840 --> 01:09:19,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're in New Yorker. Can people do that there?

1157
01:09:19,400 --> 01:09:23,240
Speaker 2: No, of course not definitely. Not well, because there's so

1158
01:09:23,280 --> 01:09:26,240
Speaker 2: many people, Like saying hi on the street is like, well,

1159
01:09:26,280 --> 01:09:29,160
Speaker 2: let me think. No, I mean when I go back

1160
01:09:29,200 --> 01:09:31,760
Speaker 2: home to Baltimore, like to the suburbs, like I'll say

1161
01:09:31,800 --> 01:09:34,160
Speaker 2: hi to somebody if I pass by them in the suburbs.

1162
01:09:34,160 --> 01:09:35,720
Speaker 2: But that's not I don't think that's really a thing

1163
01:09:35,760 --> 01:09:37,759
Speaker 2: that happens in a big city.

1164
01:09:39,000 --> 01:09:39,240
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1165
01:09:39,320 --> 01:09:41,200
Speaker 3: I guess if there's so many people, you can't say

1166
01:09:41,240 --> 01:09:42,479
Speaker 3: to everyone.

1167
01:09:42,479 --> 01:09:43,519
Speaker 2: Right right?

1168
01:09:43,880 --> 01:09:45,360
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1169
01:09:46,080 --> 01:09:50,840
Speaker 2: Maybe like yeah, no, no, it's not really a big

1170
01:09:51,040 --> 01:09:54,040
Speaker 2: saying hi to people town. What do you what's so

1171
01:09:54,160 --> 01:09:58,760
Speaker 2: you're living with this couple there right, yes, okay, how

1172
01:09:58,760 --> 01:09:59,400
Speaker 2: do you know them?

1173
01:09:59,400 --> 01:09:59,599
Speaker 1: Where?

1174
01:09:59,600 --> 01:10:01,519
Speaker 2: They just ran? The people from craig list or are

1175
01:10:01,520 --> 01:10:02,520
Speaker 2: your friends?

1176
01:10:03,560 --> 01:10:03,720
Speaker 1: You know?

1177
01:10:03,880 --> 01:10:06,000
Speaker 3: So one of them is like my best friend.

1178
01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:06,840
Speaker 1: We moved.

1179
01:10:06,840 --> 01:10:10,160
Speaker 3: He actually asked me to move here first, and I

1180
01:10:10,200 --> 01:10:14,160
Speaker 3: was like okay, sure. So we moved here together and

1181
01:10:14,200 --> 01:10:18,000
Speaker 3: then he started dating someone like pretty fast, just because

1182
01:10:18,040 --> 01:10:20,719
Speaker 3: he's like very like social and on dating apps and stuff,

1183
01:10:21,840 --> 01:10:24,960
Speaker 3: and uh yeah, it just ended up working out that

1184
01:10:26,520 --> 01:10:28,639
Speaker 3: the U haul lesbian. I don't know if you've heard

1185
01:10:28,640 --> 01:10:30,200
Speaker 3: that term, you haul lesbian?

1186
01:10:30,320 --> 01:10:32,559
Speaker 2: But what is a lesbian?

1187
01:10:35,200 --> 01:10:36,000
Speaker 1: So a U haul.

1188
01:10:35,960 --> 01:10:41,320
Speaker 3: Lesbian is when two people, two queer people start great

1189
01:10:41,320 --> 01:10:43,760
Speaker 3: and so U haul lesbian applies to woman, but it

1190
01:10:43,800 --> 01:10:49,120
Speaker 3: could be anyone. And it's essentially when the relationship moves

1191
01:10:49,200 --> 01:10:52,639
Speaker 3: really fast in terms of like, oh, we met two

1192
01:10:52,760 --> 01:10:55,519
Speaker 3: days ago and now we're like moving in together, you know,

1193
01:10:55,640 --> 01:10:58,479
Speaker 3: so we already got the U haul. So it's called

1194
01:10:58,479 --> 01:10:59,519
Speaker 3: it U haul lesbian?

1195
01:11:00,439 --> 01:11:05,040
Speaker 2: Is that a I feel I feel like And this

1196
01:11:05,080 --> 01:11:11,439
Speaker 2: is purely like anecdotal observation, Like, I feel like, do

1197
01:11:11,439 --> 01:11:17,360
Speaker 2: do queer relationships tend to move quicker than straight relationships? M?

1198
01:11:17,960 --> 01:11:18,200
Speaker 1: Yes?

1199
01:11:19,200 --> 01:11:19,560
Speaker 2: Why do you?

1200
01:11:19,600 --> 01:11:20,519
Speaker 1: What do you do?

1201
01:11:22,720 --> 01:11:24,559
Speaker 3: Because straight people have a stick up their butt?

1202
01:11:24,600 --> 01:11:24,840
Speaker 2: Man?

1203
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:29,960
Speaker 3: I feel like the process of a straight relationship first

1204
01:11:30,040 --> 01:11:32,800
Speaker 3: date is removing the stick up your butt and then

1205
01:11:32,880 --> 01:11:35,280
Speaker 3: you can talk like normal people, you know, like everyone's

1206
01:11:35,320 --> 01:11:37,839
Speaker 3: so scared. I feel like queer people like you already

1207
01:11:37,880 --> 01:11:40,559
Speaker 3: have like such like a huge life experience in common.

1208
01:11:41,280 --> 01:11:44,160
Speaker 3: You are you can kind of get past that like

1209
01:11:44,320 --> 01:11:49,280
Speaker 3: awkward face. I feel like a bit easier interesting, Yeah,

1210
01:11:49,360 --> 01:11:50,840
Speaker 3: and you're just more comfortable.

1211
01:11:52,040 --> 01:11:56,120
Speaker 2: I don't know, is there do you think? Like again,

1212
01:11:56,160 --> 01:11:59,200
Speaker 2: anecdotally from your experience, do you have you found like

1213
01:11:59,360 --> 01:12:03,080
Speaker 2: that queer people have been more like generally wired for

1214
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:06,880
Speaker 2: like down for like monogamy from the start, because I

1215
01:12:06,920 --> 01:12:10,400
Speaker 2: feel like, well, like in straight relationships, I feel like, uh,

1216
01:12:10,720 --> 01:12:15,320
Speaker 2: in general, there's a lot of like hesitancy for commitment

1217
01:12:15,840 --> 01:12:20,479
Speaker 2: and you know, oh maybe you know, in the world

1218
01:12:20,479 --> 01:12:24,040
Speaker 2: of infinite possibilities, is there someone else better out there?

1219
01:12:24,120 --> 01:12:24,320
Speaker 1: You know?

1220
01:12:24,400 --> 01:12:26,799
Speaker 2: Do we want to move things so fast?

1221
01:12:27,280 --> 01:12:27,519
Speaker 1: You know?

1222
01:12:27,640 --> 01:12:29,360
Speaker 2: Do you feel like there's less of that in the

1223
01:12:29,560 --> 01:12:31,080
Speaker 2: in the queer community?

1224
01:12:37,120 --> 01:12:39,639
Speaker 3: Is there less I'm sorry, what was the last part

1225
01:12:39,640 --> 01:12:40,160
Speaker 3: of the question.

1226
01:12:40,680 --> 01:12:47,120
Speaker 2: Oh, you know, just just like, uh, a fear of commitment.

1227
01:12:47,360 --> 01:12:48,240
Speaker 2: I'll put it short.

1228
01:12:48,920 --> 01:12:53,880
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, no, I'm back on track. Yeah, So I

1229
01:12:53,920 --> 01:12:57,080
Speaker 3: mean it's more like you can.

1230
01:12:59,040 --> 01:12:59,400
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1231
01:12:59,479 --> 01:13:02,400
Speaker 3: I guess it's per person I wouldn't want to generalize

1232
01:13:02,479 --> 01:13:04,680
Speaker 3: fear of commitment as like a queer thing or not

1233
01:13:04,760 --> 01:13:09,840
Speaker 3: a queer thing, but I feel like maybe I feel

1234
01:13:09,880 --> 01:13:15,519
Speaker 3: like maybe queer people just like lack community from spaces

1235
01:13:15,560 --> 01:13:21,759
Speaker 3: where it's offered normally, like maybe family or like friends

1236
01:13:21,880 --> 01:13:24,120
Speaker 3: or maybe like in schooling, Like if you're like not

1237
01:13:24,200 --> 01:13:26,439
Speaker 3: in an accepting area, I feel like stuff like that

1238
01:13:27,320 --> 01:13:30,560
Speaker 3: makes you like want to move faster in your relationship

1239
01:13:30,600 --> 01:13:33,519
Speaker 3: because you want to like feel what you don't have,

1240
01:13:33,720 --> 01:13:36,680
Speaker 3: and normally you don't need to do that in a

1241
01:13:36,760 --> 01:13:39,120
Speaker 3: relationship to get those things, you know, Like there's lots

1242
01:13:39,160 --> 01:13:43,000
Speaker 3: of found family, so I feel like it kind of

1243
01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:49,160
Speaker 3: it kind of has to relate to that also, so

1244
01:13:49,200 --> 01:13:51,400
Speaker 3: it's kind of an incentive to commit as supposed to

1245
01:13:51,439 --> 01:13:53,439
Speaker 3: fear of commitment. To bring it back to your question,

1246
01:13:53,520 --> 01:13:55,360
Speaker 3: I feel like there's more of an incentive to commit

1247
01:13:55,560 --> 01:14:01,920
Speaker 3: for like community, Like you're all in the same community anyways.

1248
01:14:03,080 --> 01:14:03,320
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1249
01:14:03,360 --> 01:14:06,840
Speaker 2: Interesting. What about you personally? How's your Are you like

1250
01:14:07,000 --> 01:14:10,840
Speaker 2: trying to find a husband or a wife or like

1251
01:14:10,880 --> 01:14:12,479
Speaker 2: what is your what's your goal?

1252
01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:14,240
Speaker 1: Oh?

1253
01:14:14,320 --> 01:14:20,599
Speaker 3: Man, I thought I was in the men for so long,

1254
01:14:20,760 --> 01:14:23,000
Speaker 3: but I think I really just want a wife, you know,

1255
01:14:23,960 --> 01:14:26,080
Speaker 3: or a girlfriend. I don't want to get married, honestly.

1256
01:14:26,320 --> 01:14:28,760
Speaker 3: It was kind of speaking a fear of commitment. I'm

1257
01:14:28,760 --> 01:14:33,360
Speaker 3: not trying to get married. That's scary. But yeah, no,

1258
01:14:34,960 --> 01:14:39,400
Speaker 3: I've been thinking of getting on dating apps. But I

1259
01:14:39,439 --> 01:14:43,120
Speaker 3: also want to see if like going to like third

1260
01:14:43,160 --> 01:14:46,760
Speaker 3: spaces or shared spaces for like my interests would help

1261
01:14:46,800 --> 01:14:49,920
Speaker 3: me find and meet people because I just moved here,

1262
01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:52,320
Speaker 3: so I need to like go out and like find things,

1263
01:14:52,360 --> 01:14:54,559
Speaker 3: do my weekly thing, so I don't kill myself, you know,

1264
01:14:54,720 --> 01:14:57,120
Speaker 3: like that one guy said magic on Monday, So I

1265
01:14:57,120 --> 01:14:58,000
Speaker 3: don't kill myself.

1266
01:14:58,120 --> 01:14:59,680
Speaker 2: It's true. You got to have something to make a

1267
01:14:59,760 --> 01:15:03,040
Speaker 2: say don't kill yourself. It's very important. Yeah, it's very important.

1268
01:15:03,960 --> 01:15:06,160
Speaker 2: Do you have a job of some kind out there?

1269
01:15:07,360 --> 01:15:15,280
Speaker 3: Yes, without docting myself, I work at car dealerships, so

1270
01:15:15,360 --> 01:15:20,559
Speaker 3: it's a very not queer job. It's kind of the opposite. Actually,

1271
01:15:20,640 --> 01:15:21,479
Speaker 3: it's very interesting.

1272
01:15:22,600 --> 01:15:25,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, tell me more. How has that experience been.

1273
01:15:26,320 --> 01:15:32,000
Speaker 3: So I work on like the I work like non sales.

1274
01:15:32,000 --> 01:15:35,120
Speaker 3: I work in service, so when I talk to salespeople,

1275
01:15:35,160 --> 01:15:37,120
Speaker 3: it's always like in passing. So this is where I

1276
01:15:37,160 --> 01:15:39,320
Speaker 3: get a lot of like oh, people stuck and saying hello.

1277
01:15:40,320 --> 01:15:42,599
Speaker 3: Like so these are like my coworkers that I never

1278
01:15:42,720 --> 01:15:45,240
Speaker 3: have to talk to, but we see each other every day,

1279
01:15:45,880 --> 01:15:50,600
Speaker 3: and they all suck at communicating, specifically at this dealership

1280
01:15:50,640 --> 01:15:52,920
Speaker 3: that I'm at right now. I feel like everyone sucks

1281
01:15:52,920 --> 01:15:58,080
Speaker 3: at communicating except for me, and car dealerships are just

1282
01:15:58,160 --> 01:16:02,719
Speaker 3: like that out here. I don't know everyone like so focused. Sorry,

1283
01:16:02,800 --> 01:16:06,320
Speaker 3: I'm basically salespeople are so focused on selling cars that

1284
01:16:06,320 --> 01:16:09,400
Speaker 3: they're kind of rude, and then the service texts are

1285
01:16:09,400 --> 01:16:12,600
Speaker 3: all just like dude bros. So if you're one of

1286
01:16:12,600 --> 01:16:17,200
Speaker 3: those types of people, it's great. But yeah, no, I'm

1287
01:16:17,280 --> 01:16:19,759
Speaker 3: kind of just here because it makes me some money.

1288
01:16:20,080 --> 01:16:20,280
Speaker 1: You know.

1289
01:16:21,680 --> 01:16:24,639
Speaker 2: You know, what do you work in? Do you are?

1290
01:16:24,680 --> 01:16:26,680
Speaker 2: You do work in sales or you do you like

1291
01:16:26,720 --> 01:16:27,960
Speaker 2: get commissions and stuff?

1292
01:16:29,439 --> 01:16:32,800
Speaker 3: So I work in service, so I like work on

1293
01:16:33,000 --> 01:16:38,400
Speaker 3: the electricity. I'm like twelve o'ol, so that like I

1294
01:16:38,479 --> 01:16:41,479
Speaker 3: work on cars, like the electricity part of it.

1295
01:16:43,520 --> 01:16:47,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, okay, it's not very int. What's your name

1296
01:16:48,120 --> 01:16:48,800
Speaker 2: in Karra?

1297
01:16:50,080 --> 01:16:50,400
Speaker 1: Cora?

1298
01:16:50,880 --> 01:16:55,840
Speaker 2: Cora? Uh? What's your I guess before we go? Well,

1299
01:16:55,960 --> 01:16:57,559
Speaker 2: you know, I want to ask you this, Quorra, because

1300
01:16:57,560 --> 01:16:59,920
Speaker 2: I know we just kind of chatted for twenty minutes,

1301
01:17:00,080 --> 01:17:02,479
Speaker 2: but was there a particular thing you wanted to talk

1302
01:17:02,479 --> 01:17:03,400
Speaker 2: about when you called?

1303
01:17:05,240 --> 01:17:07,519
Speaker 3: I feel like I steered the conversation towards all the

1304
01:17:07,560 --> 01:17:09,320
Speaker 3: topics I would talk about, honestly.

1305
01:17:09,800 --> 01:17:12,759
Speaker 2: Perfect. So what's next for you, Kara? What's your dream

1306
01:17:12,800 --> 01:17:13,719
Speaker 2: in life? What?

1307
01:17:13,720 --> 01:17:17,880
Speaker 1: What? Uh? What's an influencer?

1308
01:17:18,320 --> 01:17:20,599
Speaker 2: I want to be an influencer.

1309
01:17:20,880 --> 01:17:23,800
Speaker 3: Or work for someone. This isn't I'm not doing the

1310
01:17:23,840 --> 01:17:26,040
Speaker 3: critch thing where people call it as for jobs. I

1311
01:17:26,080 --> 01:17:29,080
Speaker 3: would never do that, but I w it's either that

1312
01:17:29,360 --> 01:17:31,719
Speaker 3: or like be an editor for someone like a YouTuber,

1313
01:17:31,840 --> 01:17:36,080
Speaker 3: you know. So those are my two things I'm working

1314
01:17:36,080 --> 01:17:39,400
Speaker 3: on right now. So I've been editing my podcast and

1315
01:17:39,439 --> 01:17:44,400
Speaker 3: I got my friends YouTube channel in mine and just

1316
01:17:44,439 --> 01:17:50,559
Speaker 3: autistically doing that over and over again. So yeah, so.

1317
01:17:52,960 --> 01:17:55,840
Speaker 2: Your and have you uploaded a video essay before? Is

1318
01:17:55,840 --> 01:17:57,080
Speaker 2: this your debut?

1319
01:17:58,320 --> 01:18:01,599
Speaker 3: I've had I've done three four, but two of them

1320
01:18:01,840 --> 01:18:04,120
Speaker 3: my first one is pretty so. My first one's bad,

1321
01:18:04,280 --> 01:18:08,000
Speaker 3: my second one's pretty good. I'm uploading a third one

1322
01:18:08,720 --> 01:18:10,880
Speaker 3: and then I have a couple on my friend's channel.

1323
01:18:12,920 --> 01:18:17,840
Speaker 3: I'm starting out, though it's pretty debut. No subscribers, have

1324
01:18:17,880 --> 01:18:18,479
Speaker 3: you got any?

1325
01:18:18,520 --> 01:18:20,360
Speaker 2: Have you got any any buzz on any of them?

1326
01:18:20,439 --> 01:18:22,000
Speaker 2: Or at least because there's the thing, right, it's not

1327
01:18:22,040 --> 01:18:24,719
Speaker 2: about like going viral or getting a ton of views,

1328
01:18:24,720 --> 01:18:27,240
Speaker 2: but like if you post a video essay, right and

1329
01:18:27,280 --> 01:18:30,280
Speaker 2: you get like three comments from people you don't know,

1330
01:18:30,680 --> 01:18:31,439
Speaker 2: that's pretty good.

1331
01:18:32,760 --> 01:18:37,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I think I found it that So yeah,

1332
01:18:37,439 --> 01:18:40,719
Speaker 3: I agree. I'm not really like focused on the numbers.

1333
01:18:40,760 --> 01:18:42,519
Speaker 3: I'm kind of more focused on how much I can

1334
01:18:42,560 --> 01:18:45,720
Speaker 3: engagement I get with people. So, like one of them,

1335
01:18:45,920 --> 01:18:49,760
Speaker 3: I posted about how this anime character is trans and

1336
01:18:49,800 --> 01:18:51,880
Speaker 3: a lot of people don't think that they're trands. It's

1337
01:18:51,880 --> 01:18:55,439
Speaker 3: from this anime called Rama one Half or Context for

1338
01:18:55,560 --> 01:18:59,960
Speaker 3: anyone that knows that show. That got like five hundred views,

1339
01:19:00,240 --> 01:19:03,000
Speaker 3: but it got like a hundred comments of people arguing

1340
01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:05,080
Speaker 3: in the comments. Yeah, because that's what you're on like

1341
01:19:05,080 --> 01:19:06,160
Speaker 3: a controversial topic.

1342
01:19:06,320 --> 01:19:09,000
Speaker 2: Yeah right right, so yeah, that's what people I think,

1343
01:19:09,160 --> 01:19:13,639
Speaker 2: you know, people don't understand about like building Internet careers

1344
01:19:13,680 --> 01:19:15,759
Speaker 2: or whatnot. Is it's not about like how many views

1345
01:19:15,840 --> 01:19:19,120
Speaker 2: or followers someone or something has. It's more about like

1346
01:19:19,200 --> 01:19:22,840
Speaker 2: how many comments there are because that that that's a

1347
01:19:22,880 --> 01:19:27,080
Speaker 2: representation of like how many actual human beings are genuinely

1348
01:19:27,760 --> 01:19:30,160
Speaker 2: engaging in the things that you are saying and doing.

1349
01:19:31,479 --> 01:19:31,719
Speaker 1: Right.

1350
01:19:32,240 --> 01:19:34,120
Speaker 3: No, yeah, I think it's so cool. I actually get

1351
01:19:34,160 --> 01:19:37,559
Speaker 3: like that feedback, especially on YouTube when it's like delayed.

1352
01:19:39,640 --> 01:19:42,519
Speaker 3: I don't know, it's very fun. It's like instead of

1353
01:19:42,640 --> 01:19:45,479
Speaker 3: it's like turning in like a video assignment for a class,

1354
01:19:45,520 --> 01:19:47,639
Speaker 3: but instead of a teacher, it's like a bunch of

1355
01:19:47,680 --> 01:19:48,760
Speaker 3: like random.

1356
01:19:48,520 --> 01:19:49,640
Speaker 1: Twelve year old boys on the.

1357
01:19:53,560 --> 01:19:55,280
Speaker 3: I like, how did I do.

1358
01:19:57,520 --> 01:19:59,439
Speaker 2: I like that analogy. Yeah it is. It's like you're

1359
01:19:59,439 --> 01:20:01,880
Speaker 2: writing an s say for school, except instead of a teacher,

1360
01:20:01,880 --> 01:20:04,800
Speaker 2: it's a bunch of twelve year olds on YouTube that

1361
01:20:04,880 --> 01:20:09,880
Speaker 2: are giving you the grains. That's very funny. Well, Coora Uh,

1362
01:20:09,960 --> 01:20:11,360
Speaker 2: if you want, you can shut yourself out.

1363
01:20:12,800 --> 01:20:16,280
Speaker 3: Okay.

1364
01:20:16,320 --> 01:20:17,519
Speaker 1: So I my.

1365
01:20:19,400 --> 01:20:23,400
Speaker 3: Video essay channel is Cora Lex c O R A

1366
01:20:23,680 --> 01:20:27,680
Speaker 3: L e X, and then my podcast is called Pleasers

1367
01:20:28,640 --> 01:20:30,759
Speaker 3: and you can really just called, like type in pleezers

1368
01:20:30,840 --> 01:20:31,679
Speaker 3: Cora lex.

1369
01:20:31,479 --> 01:20:32,320
Speaker 1: And it pops up.

1370
01:20:33,800 --> 01:20:35,439
Speaker 2: Cora Lex. Anything else you want to say to the

1371
01:20:35,439 --> 01:20:42,720
Speaker 2: people of the computer before we go go outside.

1372
01:20:43,080 --> 01:20:45,880
Speaker 3: Don't be afraid of making eye contact with people. You

1373
01:20:45,960 --> 01:20:48,479
Speaker 3: look silly. I am someone that starts being afraid of

1374
01:20:48,479 --> 01:20:52,559
Speaker 3: eye contact. I'd be looking at people ignoring me, and

1375
01:20:52,560 --> 01:20:54,680
Speaker 3: that looks silly. We all got to start talking to

1376
01:20:54,760 --> 01:20:56,080
Speaker 3: each other more, That's what I think.

1377
01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:57,479
Speaker 2: Stare at everyone.

1378
01:20:58,800 --> 01:21:01,040
Speaker 3: Yes, therapy, pople in public.

1379
01:21:01,240 --> 01:21:02,559
Speaker 2: Beautiful, take care of court.

1380
01:21:03,600 --> 01:21:04,599
Speaker 1: Yep, you two fine?

1381
01:21:06,560 --> 01:21:08,920
Speaker 2: That was fun. What was the thing? Foo? Put foo

1382
01:21:09,000 --> 01:21:13,599
Speaker 2: something something of the foo Kora Lex. Let's go I'm

1383
01:21:13,600 --> 01:21:16,400
Speaker 2: gonna check her out. Let's see Cora Lex YouTube dot com,

1384
01:21:16,400 --> 01:21:24,880
Speaker 2: slash kora Lex. Oh, okay, This is not what I

1385
01:21:24,920 --> 01:21:28,519
Speaker 2: was expecting to come up when I typed it. Okay,

1386
01:21:28,560 --> 01:21:31,280
Speaker 2: this is a skateboarding person. This is definitely not the

1387
01:21:31,400 --> 01:21:36,640
Speaker 2: right thing. Okay, I'm just gonna search Kora lex On.

1388
01:21:37,960 --> 01:21:43,360
Speaker 2: Oh harah, here we go, Here we go. Did trans

1389
01:21:43,520 --> 01:21:47,559
Speaker 2: people ruin anime? I think that I think that's the

1390
01:21:47,560 --> 01:21:49,400
Speaker 2: one that that that they're talking about.

1391
01:21:49,880 --> 01:21:50,000
Speaker 1: Oh.

1392
01:21:50,040 --> 01:21:53,439
Speaker 2: I like this format. This is cool. Yeah, there we go.

1393
01:21:53,479 --> 01:21:57,080
Speaker 2: There's a bunch of people in the comments talking about

1394
01:21:57,080 --> 01:22:02,080
Speaker 2: each other. That was good. This is good.

1395
01:22:03,080 --> 01:22:03,280
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1396
01:22:03,320 --> 01:22:05,160
Speaker 2: I like I like make I like when people make stuff.

1397
01:22:05,200 --> 01:22:09,720
Speaker 2: I think it's good to make stuff rock and roll. Hey,

1398
01:22:09,760 --> 01:22:12,719
Speaker 2: what's up, folks. I'm gonna end this episode by doing

1399
01:22:12,760 --> 01:22:15,799
Speaker 2: a little bit of gak mail. Uh. If you're not familiar,

1400
01:22:15,880 --> 01:22:18,360
Speaker 2: gek mail is a thing that I do where I

1401
01:22:18,720 --> 01:22:24,960
Speaker 2: uh read viewer mail and uh if you want to

1402
01:22:25,000 --> 01:22:29,559
Speaker 2: me to read an email that you have sent, you

1403
01:22:29,640 --> 01:22:34,519
Speaker 2: can send me an email at therapy gecko mail at

1404
01:22:34,560 --> 01:22:39,000
Speaker 2: gmail dot com and I might perhaps read your email.

1405
01:22:39,160 --> 01:22:42,719
Speaker 2: So let's, uh, let's start reading a few emails, shall we. Okay,

1406
01:22:42,760 --> 01:22:47,280
Speaker 2: this first one is from Valentine. The subject line is

1407
01:22:47,360 --> 01:22:52,720
Speaker 2: all caps. We are sinners. Valentine says dear Lyle, I've

1408
01:22:52,720 --> 01:22:55,080
Speaker 2: been listening to your podcast since the pandemic and I

1409
01:22:55,080 --> 01:22:57,280
Speaker 2: wanted to thank you and the listeners for bringing together

1410
01:22:57,320 --> 01:23:03,680
Speaker 2: so many stories. Thank you, Valentine on twenty six from Vienna, Australia.

1411
01:23:03,960 --> 01:23:06,720
Speaker 2: And am not religious by any means, but this New

1412
01:23:06,800 --> 01:23:09,920
Speaker 2: Year I walked past a church and thought about going

1413
01:23:09,960 --> 01:23:14,000
Speaker 2: in for confession, mainly because therapy is so expensive and

1414
01:23:14,080 --> 01:23:17,840
Speaker 2: religions use many tools like meditation that are used in

1415
01:23:17,920 --> 01:23:21,559
Speaker 2: therapy too. However, I didn't go in. It's fine. I've

1416
01:23:21,600 --> 01:23:25,080
Speaker 2: thought about doing a confession once. I don't know can

1417
01:23:25,200 --> 01:23:27,720
Speaker 2: Jews go to confession? I feel like that. I mean,

1418
01:23:27,760 --> 01:23:29,880
Speaker 2: that's who gives it? No one. I think they just

1419
01:23:29,960 --> 01:23:32,400
Speaker 2: let you in. I think he's to do it anyway.

1420
01:23:33,120 --> 01:23:35,439
Speaker 2: After giving it some thought, I realized that most of

1421
01:23:35,479 --> 01:23:44,680
Speaker 2: the sins quote unquote discussed and confession are religious in nature. Parentheses, blasphemy, masturbation,

1422
01:23:45,200 --> 01:23:50,360
Speaker 2: primarital sex, etc. And I don't feel bad about participating

1423
01:23:50,400 --> 01:23:53,400
Speaker 2: in those things. When I got home, I kept thinking

1424
01:23:53,400 --> 01:23:55,599
Speaker 2: about what I would have said if I had gone in.

1425
01:23:56,479 --> 01:23:59,719
Speaker 2: At first, I couldn't come up with anything. This felt strange,

1426
01:23:59,760 --> 01:24:03,120
Speaker 2: because of course we all do things that aren't okay,

1427
01:24:03,600 --> 01:24:06,800
Speaker 2: even if unintentionally. The more I thought about it, the

1428
01:24:06,800 --> 01:24:10,360
Speaker 2: more I spiraled into overthinking may and other's actions and

1429
01:24:10,400 --> 01:24:13,800
Speaker 2: whether they are morally right and respectful. I wonder how

1430
01:24:13,800 --> 01:24:17,200
Speaker 2: many people find the balance between being self serving and

1431
01:24:17,280 --> 01:24:20,640
Speaker 2: empathetic for the community when the line is evil and

1432
01:24:21,160 --> 01:24:24,400
Speaker 2: when uh? I wonder how many people find the balance

1433
01:24:24,439 --> 01:24:27,920
Speaker 2: between being self serving and empathetic for the community and

1434
01:24:28,000 --> 01:24:31,440
Speaker 2: when the line of evil is drawn? And how conscious

1435
01:24:31,560 --> 01:24:34,720
Speaker 2: all those good and evil people in the world are.

1436
01:24:36,560 --> 01:24:38,880
Speaker 2: One of the sins that came to mind had to

1437
01:24:38,880 --> 01:24:43,439
Speaker 2: do with Eric, the man from the Australian Homeless shelter.

1438
01:24:44,640 --> 01:24:49,080
Speaker 2: The man oh oh, the man from the Austrian homeless shelter. Okay, wait,

1439
01:24:49,160 --> 01:24:53,120
Speaker 2: I remember this. Do you guys remember a phone call

1440
01:24:53,240 --> 01:24:55,640
Speaker 2: that I took on here? I think I think this

1441
01:24:55,800 --> 01:24:58,439
Speaker 2: is a yeah, this is a This is a person

1442
01:24:58,439 --> 01:25:00,120
Speaker 2: who is referencing a phone call I took on here

1443
01:25:00,160 --> 01:25:03,639
Speaker 2: from this guy, this Austrian dude named Eric who worked

1444
01:25:03,680 --> 01:25:07,840
Speaker 2: at a homeless shelter. One of the things that came

1445
01:25:07,840 --> 01:25:09,639
Speaker 2: to mind had to do with Eric the man from

1446
01:25:09,680 --> 01:25:14,040
Speaker 2: the Austrian Homeless Shelter. In the chat when I was

1447
01:25:14,080 --> 01:25:17,000
Speaker 2: streaming this on Twitch, In the chat, I commented that

1448
01:25:17,040 --> 01:25:19,519
Speaker 2: I'd love to get in contact with him to go

1449
01:25:19,600 --> 01:25:22,640
Speaker 2: to your show in Cologne, and he replied that we

1450
01:25:22,640 --> 01:25:27,280
Speaker 2: should get in touch. Interesting, however, I completely ghosted him.

1451
01:25:28,520 --> 01:25:30,880
Speaker 2: At the time, I was broke from a trip I

1452
01:25:30,920 --> 01:25:34,960
Speaker 2: had just taken, under immense pressure to finish my experiments

1453
01:25:35,000 --> 01:25:39,000
Speaker 2: for my master's thesis and trying to find a PhD position.

1454
01:25:40,040 --> 01:25:42,680
Speaker 2: On the other hand, Eric was probably looking to get

1455
01:25:42,680 --> 01:25:46,559
Speaker 2: in touch with me and never got a reply. I'm sorry, Eric,

1456
01:25:46,880 --> 01:25:49,320
Speaker 2: I hope you can forgive me. I hope you and

1457
01:25:49,439 --> 01:25:52,080
Speaker 2: Eric had an amazing show in Cologne and that you'll

1458
01:25:52,080 --> 01:25:55,719
Speaker 2: come back to Europe Sunday. All the best, love your podcast. Okay,

1459
01:25:55,720 --> 01:26:02,000
Speaker 2: here's what I'm confused about. Is okay, when you say

1460
01:26:02,000 --> 01:26:04,880
Speaker 2: you ghosted him, right when you say you ghosted him,

1461
01:26:05,320 --> 01:26:07,559
Speaker 2: were you guys just in the twitch chat and you

1462
01:26:07,600 --> 01:26:09,920
Speaker 2: were like, hey, we should go to the show together,

1463
01:26:10,080 --> 01:26:13,080
Speaker 2: and he was like, yeah, we should and then you

1464
01:26:13,080 --> 01:26:21,920
Speaker 2: didn't say anything else. Is that really ghosting? Because look,

1465
01:26:21,960 --> 01:26:25,000
Speaker 2: here's the thing, right, we all know that we all

1466
01:26:25,040 --> 01:26:28,360
Speaker 2: know that some plans just don't make it out of

1467
01:26:28,360 --> 01:26:31,280
Speaker 2: the group chat. You know what I'm saying. Sometimes plans

1468
01:26:31,320 --> 01:26:32,680
Speaker 2: just don't make it out of the group chat. That's

1469
01:26:32,680 --> 01:26:35,800
Speaker 2: not really ghosting. Ghosting would be more like if you

1470
01:26:35,840 --> 01:26:39,400
Speaker 2: guys got in contact and the DMS and you were like, Hey,

1471
01:26:39,920 --> 01:26:42,200
Speaker 2: what time do you want to meet up on the

1472
01:26:42,240 --> 01:26:42,920
Speaker 2: day of the show?

1473
01:26:43,800 --> 01:26:44,000
Speaker 1: Right.

1474
01:26:44,360 --> 01:26:47,879
Speaker 2: If it got to that point, then maybe it's ghosting.

1475
01:26:47,960 --> 01:26:49,640
Speaker 2: But if it was just like you brought it up

1476
01:26:49,680 --> 01:26:51,640
Speaker 2: in the chat, I don't think. I don't think you

1477
01:26:51,680 --> 01:26:58,000
Speaker 2: need to go to confession for that necessarily, But thank

1478
01:26:58,040 --> 01:27:03,479
Speaker 2: you for your thoughts, Valentine. Okay, let's see here. This

1479
01:27:03,520 --> 01:27:12,920
Speaker 2: is from Jeremy subject line open masturbation, second date. Hey, Geck,

1480
01:27:13,560 --> 01:27:17,160
Speaker 2: I had a girl over at my house hanging out. Okay,

1481
01:27:17,160 --> 01:27:21,360
Speaker 2: this person spelled girl with a U. It's not that important,

1482
01:27:21,360 --> 01:27:23,880
Speaker 2: but it's also a little important. I had a girl

1483
01:27:24,040 --> 01:27:26,320
Speaker 2: over at my house hanging out. We met on the

1484
01:27:26,360 --> 01:27:30,680
Speaker 2: apps hinge. Specifically, we were just chilling watching a show.

1485
01:27:30,800 --> 01:27:34,439
Speaker 2: No physical contact or intimacy had been performed at all

1486
01:27:34,600 --> 01:27:39,439
Speaker 2: thus far. This evening, we were watching Squid Game season three,

1487
01:27:40,160 --> 01:27:44,400
Speaker 2: and I get up to let my dog out, and

1488
01:27:44,439 --> 01:27:48,000
Speaker 2: when I come back, this girl is completely naked on

1489
01:27:48,080 --> 01:27:53,840
Speaker 2: my couch, legs spread open, using a mini vibrator, casually

1490
01:27:53,960 --> 01:28:01,479
Speaker 2: having an orgasm right there, right on my couch. Exclamation point.

1491
01:28:02,600 --> 01:28:06,280
Speaker 2: I see this and go oh sorry, turned around and

1492
01:28:06,479 --> 01:28:10,720
Speaker 2: walked back outside and came back a minute later. When

1493
01:28:10,760 --> 01:28:13,880
Speaker 2: I get back, she's dressed and sitting there watching TV

1494
01:28:14,400 --> 01:28:18,640
Speaker 2: like nothing happened. I sit back down and watch for

1495
01:28:18,680 --> 01:28:22,360
Speaker 2: about five minutes in complete silence before I ask her

1496
01:28:22,640 --> 01:28:25,920
Speaker 2: why she didn't just use the bathroom or something, and

1497
01:28:26,040 --> 01:28:29,480
Speaker 2: her response was, I just needed to have an orgasm.

1498
01:28:29,560 --> 01:28:34,800
Speaker 2: You know, I'm almost certain I'm asexual, but hate labels,

1499
01:28:34,840 --> 01:28:37,479
Speaker 2: so I just set her up on a date with

1500
01:28:37,680 --> 01:28:43,280
Speaker 2: a mate who's always horny. Lol. I'm Australian, by the way.

1501
01:28:43,479 --> 01:28:48,120
Speaker 2: Come to Cannaburra for a show. My confused regards Jeremy. Okay,

1502
01:28:48,120 --> 01:28:50,840
Speaker 2: this is a what an awesome email. That's so funny.

1503
01:28:50,840 --> 01:28:55,599
Speaker 2: First of all, I you know, Jeremy, I have to say,

1504
01:28:55,680 --> 01:28:58,200
Speaker 2: I think if you're a sexual, that's all cool. I

1505
01:28:58,280 --> 01:29:07,160
Speaker 2: have such strong respect for you that, after all this happened,

1506
01:29:07,280 --> 01:29:09,599
Speaker 2: you just you set her up with one of your friends.

1507
01:29:11,080 --> 01:29:14,160
Speaker 2: That's awesome. That's a really good Uh, that's a really

1508
01:29:14,200 --> 01:29:19,240
Speaker 2: good move this woman. Clearly, I think if a woman

1509
01:29:19,320 --> 01:29:22,040
Speaker 2: comes to your house and then you go to the

1510
01:29:22,080 --> 01:29:23,760
Speaker 2: bathroom or some ship, and then she comes back, and

1511
01:29:23,800 --> 01:29:28,759
Speaker 2: then you come back and she's just naked. She's probably

1512
01:29:28,960 --> 01:29:35,000
Speaker 2: I would probably assume that she was into you, or

1513
01:29:35,160 --> 01:29:37,800
Speaker 2: she or something. I would probably that's a I think

1514
01:29:37,920 --> 01:29:42,000
Speaker 2: that's a fair assumption. Maybe she didn't know that you were,

1515
01:29:42,840 --> 01:29:47,760
Speaker 2: that you were asexual. I don't know. I don't this.

1516
01:29:47,880 --> 01:29:52,320
Speaker 2: I this is an interesting case to me. But you,

1517
01:29:53,560 --> 01:29:55,200
Speaker 2: I would ask your friend. I would be like, so,

1518
01:29:55,280 --> 01:29:59,559
Speaker 2: what what's up? Did you did? Did? Did? Did your

1519
01:29:59,600 --> 01:30:04,120
Speaker 2: friend and this lady go on a date? Did? Did?

1520
01:30:04,240 --> 01:30:04,320
Speaker 4: Uh?

1521
01:30:05,160 --> 01:30:09,000
Speaker 2: I'm cre I'm really curious about this lady. If your

1522
01:30:09,040 --> 01:30:12,040
Speaker 2: friend ends up going out with this lady and then

1523
01:30:12,160 --> 01:30:14,960
Speaker 2: gives you any more information, let me I send another

1524
01:30:15,000 --> 01:30:17,479
Speaker 2: email because I'm curious what this lady's deal is, because

1525
01:30:17,479 --> 01:30:25,320
Speaker 2: there's some something's going on. Maybe who knows. Not that

1526
01:30:25,360 --> 01:30:28,639
Speaker 2: it's any of my business, I guess, although I guess

1527
01:30:28,680 --> 01:30:31,920
Speaker 2: my entire show is about things that are none of

1528
01:30:31,960 --> 01:30:37,280
Speaker 2: my business. You're a good homie, Jeremy. Okay, this is

1529
01:30:37,280 --> 01:30:42,840
Speaker 2: from Brendan subject line stuck in my own brain. Hello, Lyle.

1530
01:30:42,880 --> 01:30:45,519
Speaker 2: I'll keep this as short as I can. Recently, I

1531
01:30:45,560 --> 01:30:47,679
Speaker 2: broke up with my partner and ever since it happened,

1532
01:30:47,760 --> 01:30:50,519
Speaker 2: I haven't changed for the better. I've been ignoring most

1533
01:30:50,560 --> 01:30:53,960
Speaker 2: social connections I had and feeling NonStop guilt for the

1534
01:30:54,000 --> 01:30:58,120
Speaker 2: breakup and also for being distant from the world. I

1535
01:30:58,200 --> 01:31:01,200
Speaker 2: can't stop feeling pathetic and scared to step back into

1536
01:31:01,240 --> 01:31:03,799
Speaker 2: the world despite how bad this is for my health.

1537
01:31:04,439 --> 01:31:07,599
Speaker 2: Have you ever been too depressed or distant to want

1538
01:31:07,680 --> 01:31:10,640
Speaker 2: to be a part of people's lives? If you have

1539
01:31:10,800 --> 01:31:12,680
Speaker 2: or haven't, do you have any advice on how to

1540
01:31:12,680 --> 01:31:15,240
Speaker 2: stay positive and go through life even when it seems

1541
01:31:15,240 --> 01:31:18,640
Speaker 2: impossible to do? Love? The podcast was a treat to

1542
01:31:18,640 --> 01:31:20,680
Speaker 2: see you alive later this year. If you read this

1543
01:31:20,720 --> 01:31:25,240
Speaker 2: higher a Koul guy anonymous. Oh okay, well all right,

1544
01:31:25,240 --> 01:31:30,200
Speaker 2: well we'll cut his name out. We'll just say this

1545
01:31:30,240 --> 01:31:38,160
Speaker 2: is from anonymous. Okay. I'm trying to think here. I'm

1546
01:31:38,160 --> 01:31:41,280
Speaker 2: trying to think here, and this is a real this

1547
01:31:41,360 --> 01:31:44,720
Speaker 2: is a very much a real therapist type of a thing.

1548
01:31:44,800 --> 01:31:47,880
Speaker 2: But I am it does have me thinking about my

1549
01:31:48,000 --> 01:31:50,320
Speaker 2: own life. I think. I mean, I'm the kind of

1550
01:31:50,400 --> 01:31:55,880
Speaker 2: you know, there's two kinds of like depressed people, Like

1551
01:31:55,960 --> 01:31:59,519
Speaker 2: some people get depressed and they when some people when

1552
01:31:59,520 --> 01:32:02,000
Speaker 2: they get depress, say withdraw and they don't want to

1553
01:32:02,040 --> 01:32:03,800
Speaker 2: talk to anyone. And I've had I have tons of

1554
01:32:03,840 --> 01:32:07,160
Speaker 2: friends like that who they get depressed and they just

1555
01:32:07,240 --> 01:32:08,800
Speaker 2: ghost everyone and they don't want to be a part

1556
01:32:08,840 --> 01:32:14,559
Speaker 2: of people's lives. In my personal experience with depression, I'm

1557
01:32:14,640 --> 01:32:18,040
Speaker 2: kind of the opposite. When I get depressed, I want

1558
01:32:18,080 --> 01:32:26,320
Speaker 2: to okay, I'll say this, uh, when i'm you know,

1559
01:32:27,840 --> 01:32:30,640
Speaker 2: part of what I enjoy in my own life and

1560
01:32:30,800 --> 01:32:34,839
Speaker 2: is also my job, is like interfacing with new people

1561
01:32:35,200 --> 01:32:44,880
Speaker 2: and new experiences and trying to find interest in the

1562
01:32:44,920 --> 01:32:47,519
Speaker 2: world around me, and like I have, I have a

1563
01:32:47,720 --> 01:32:51,160
Speaker 2: part of my soul that like loves life and loves

1564
01:32:51,280 --> 01:32:54,320
Speaker 2: people and loves new experiences and wants to connect with

1565
01:32:54,360 --> 01:32:56,599
Speaker 2: as many folks as possible and engage in as many

1566
01:32:57,080 --> 01:33:00,000
Speaker 2: novel experiences as possible and whatnot. And when I get depressed,

1567
01:33:00,320 --> 01:33:05,679
Speaker 2: I absolutely distance myself from that part and I go, wow,

1568
01:33:05,720 --> 01:33:09,200
Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck about to anyone or anything,

1569
01:33:09,800 --> 01:33:12,960
Speaker 2: and I super distance myself from that. But when it

1570
01:33:12,960 --> 01:33:17,439
Speaker 2: comes to people I'm already connected with, like the people

1571
01:33:17,479 --> 01:33:19,360
Speaker 2: in my life, like my you know, my family and

1572
01:33:19,360 --> 01:33:22,960
Speaker 2: my like my my real friends and whatnot, when I

1573
01:33:22,960 --> 01:33:26,040
Speaker 2: get depressed, I tend to be drawn uh uh more

1574
01:33:26,120 --> 01:33:33,400
Speaker 2: towards then, if that makes sense. I typically crave social

1575
01:33:33,439 --> 01:33:37,640
Speaker 2: connection from people I already know when I'm depressed, but

1576
01:33:37,680 --> 01:33:42,879
Speaker 2: I lose the part of myself that wants to engage

1577
01:33:42,880 --> 01:33:49,760
Speaker 2: with the world at large. And so do I have

1578
01:33:49,800 --> 01:33:51,599
Speaker 2: any advice on how to stay positive and go through

1579
01:33:51,600 --> 01:33:58,160
Speaker 2: life even when it seems impossible to do? You know,

1580
01:34:01,200 --> 01:34:06,559
Speaker 2: within your ability. I don't know what your life looks

1581
01:34:06,640 --> 01:34:14,360
Speaker 2: like beyond just this email, but I've definitely had I've

1582
01:34:14,360 --> 01:34:19,160
Speaker 2: had periods of time where I was really depressed and

1583
01:34:19,200 --> 01:34:23,640
Speaker 2: I was like, I shouldn't bother dating or going out

1584
01:34:23,720 --> 01:34:26,840
Speaker 2: and doing anything because I'm just like, I don't I

1585
01:34:26,920 --> 01:34:31,400
Speaker 2: can't see why anyone would want to be around me

1586
01:34:31,600 --> 01:34:35,360
Speaker 2: right now because I'm just like such a I have

1587
01:34:35,479 --> 01:34:41,519
Speaker 2: no energy. And I think typically when I feel that way,

1588
01:34:41,600 --> 01:34:48,120
Speaker 2: it's a sign that I gotta go back in to

1589
01:34:48,760 --> 01:34:55,960
Speaker 2: the I call it the depression laboratory, where we gotta

1590
01:34:56,040 --> 01:35:00,240
Speaker 2: hit the drawing board. We gotta go, Okay, something something

1591
01:35:00,320 --> 01:35:02,439
Speaker 2: is not good here. Is it a medication thing, is

1592
01:35:02,479 --> 01:35:05,559
Speaker 2: it a is it a brain thing? Is it a whatever?

1593
01:35:05,600 --> 01:35:07,680
Speaker 2: We get we hit the drawing board. So I think

1594
01:35:07,680 --> 01:35:09,120
Speaker 2: when I feel this way, I just go back to

1595
01:35:09,160 --> 01:35:13,000
Speaker 2: the drawing board, and I go, okay, I'm clearly you

1596
01:35:13,000 --> 01:35:15,800
Speaker 2: can't force it. I don't think I'm just talking. I

1597
01:35:17,920 --> 01:35:20,559
Speaker 2: advice is one thing I can only I can only

1598
01:35:20,600 --> 01:35:23,280
Speaker 2: really just tell you my lived experience, and I found

1599
01:35:23,320 --> 01:35:27,160
Speaker 2: I can't force things when I'm depressed. So if I'm depressed,

1600
01:35:27,160 --> 01:35:30,000
Speaker 2: and that means I can't like whatever, go to some

1601
01:35:30,080 --> 01:35:35,120
Speaker 2: social event or you know, do this podcast or do

1602
01:35:35,280 --> 01:35:38,920
Speaker 2: something that demands of me, I don't try to force

1603
01:35:38,960 --> 01:35:43,200
Speaker 2: it because the idea of like you said it, you

1604
01:35:43,280 --> 01:35:44,640
Speaker 2: say in this email, do you have any advice on

1605
01:35:44,680 --> 01:35:46,559
Speaker 2: how to go through life? And even when it seems

1606
01:35:46,600 --> 01:35:53,639
Speaker 2: impossible to do it? Is if I'm in a situation

1607
01:35:53,720 --> 01:35:56,519
Speaker 2: where a thing seems impossible to do because of my

1608
01:35:56,600 --> 01:36:00,839
Speaker 2: mental health, I just don't do it, and I go, okay,

1609
01:36:01,240 --> 01:36:05,840
Speaker 2: let me go back to the depression laboratory and go, okay,

1610
01:36:05,840 --> 01:36:07,720
Speaker 2: maybe I need to get more sleep, maybe I need

1611
01:36:07,760 --> 01:36:13,200
Speaker 2: to try some medication, maybe I need to do this

1612
01:36:13,400 --> 01:36:17,280
Speaker 2: that the other thing first before I begin to feel

1613
01:36:17,320 --> 01:36:22,320
Speaker 2: like myself. And then the things that were previously impossible

1614
01:36:22,320 --> 01:36:25,080
Speaker 2: to do, I'm like, oh, they were impossible to do

1615
01:36:25,760 --> 01:36:29,679
Speaker 2: because of something internal that I needed to work out

1616
01:36:29,840 --> 01:36:33,840
Speaker 2: first and now that I've worked them out, I'm like, Okay,

1617
01:36:33,920 --> 01:36:37,880
Speaker 2: I actually can interface with the world after kind of

1618
01:36:37,920 --> 01:36:42,639
Speaker 2: fixing myself a little bit. That's really how it's worked

1619
01:36:43,400 --> 01:36:51,280
Speaker 2: just for me in my life. So also, sometimes, bro,

1620
01:36:51,360 --> 01:36:52,720
Speaker 2: you just got to turn your shit off and back

1621
01:36:52,760 --> 01:36:55,559
Speaker 2: on again, you know what I'm saying. So you ever

1622
01:36:55,560 --> 01:36:58,960
Speaker 2: have a day, You ever have a day where you're like, yeah,

1623
01:36:58,960 --> 01:37:03,719
Speaker 2: we gotta this, we gotta give we gotta give up today.

1624
01:37:04,320 --> 01:37:08,439
Speaker 2: We'll try again tomorrow. I think I've brought this up

1625
01:37:08,479 --> 01:37:12,120
Speaker 2: on the podcast before, maybe, But doctor k who's great.

1626
01:37:12,120 --> 01:37:14,080
Speaker 2: You should check him out on YouTube. He goes by

1627
01:37:14,160 --> 01:37:18,360
Speaker 2: healthy gamer Gigi. He's like a he's an actual therapist.

1628
01:37:18,760 --> 01:37:21,560
Speaker 2: He's like a psychiatrist guy. I know he does a

1629
01:37:21,600 --> 01:37:27,000
Speaker 2: lot of mental health videos. But he talked about uh.

1630
01:37:27,160 --> 01:37:30,720
Speaker 2: He says he doesn't dip into reserves. He says he

1631
01:37:30,880 --> 01:37:36,599
Speaker 2: works hard, but he doesn't dip into reserves. And when

1632
01:37:36,600 --> 01:37:40,160
Speaker 2: he said that, I was like, that's fucking genius. So

1633
01:37:44,360 --> 01:37:46,600
Speaker 2: that's kind of how I do it is I'm like,

1634
01:37:46,800 --> 01:37:51,480
Speaker 2: I'll i'll be a part of other people's lives. I'll

1635
01:37:51,479 --> 01:37:53,840
Speaker 2: interface with the part of myself that wants to be

1636
01:37:54,520 --> 01:37:58,559
Speaker 2: in the world doing things, and I'll work as hard

1637
01:37:58,560 --> 01:38:00,519
Speaker 2: as I can, and I'll, you know, try as hard

1638
01:38:00,520 --> 01:38:04,559
Speaker 2: as I can. But once I sense in my brain

1639
01:38:04,680 --> 01:38:08,760
Speaker 2: and my body that I'm beginning to dip into reserves

1640
01:38:08,960 --> 01:38:12,080
Speaker 2: is when I stop and I go, Okay, time to

1641
01:38:12,160 --> 01:38:16,120
Speaker 2: turn this off and back on again. I don't know

1642
01:38:16,120 --> 01:38:19,120
Speaker 2: if that rant was helpful for you in any way,

1643
01:38:19,200 --> 01:38:24,800
Speaker 2: but good luck, Brendan. Okay, I'll take a I'll take

1644
01:38:24,840 --> 01:38:27,080
Speaker 2: one more viewer call.

1645
01:38:29,520 --> 01:38:29,800
Speaker 1: All right.

1646
01:38:29,840 --> 01:38:35,439
Speaker 2: This is from We Found Love in an Email? Okay, Oh,

1647
01:38:35,760 --> 01:38:38,439
Speaker 2: this is from Elise. The subject line is we found

1648
01:38:38,520 --> 01:38:42,479
Speaker 2: Love in an email. Hey, Gek, you spoke to my

1649
01:38:42,600 --> 01:38:46,760
Speaker 2: boyfriend Bryce and I on Valentine's Day earlier this year.

1650
01:38:47,240 --> 01:38:49,600
Speaker 2: We were the couple who called in while sitting in

1651
01:38:49,640 --> 01:38:54,040
Speaker 2: a car outside the art museum. I fully, I not

1652
01:38:54,120 --> 01:38:57,439
Speaker 2: only fully remember this phone call, but I often think

1653
01:38:57,479 --> 01:39:01,320
Speaker 2: of it. Actually, I often think think of it. We

1654
01:39:01,320 --> 01:39:03,519
Speaker 2: were the couple who called in while sitting in a

1655
01:39:03,560 --> 01:39:06,559
Speaker 2: car outside the art museum. Thought to send a cute

1656
01:39:06,600 --> 01:39:10,960
Speaker 2: little update. We both cherish that episode. One thing I

1657
01:39:11,000 --> 01:39:12,600
Speaker 2: liked about this couple is I remember they were a

1658
01:39:12,600 --> 01:39:15,960
Speaker 2: little bit older and they were on like a What

1659
01:39:16,120 --> 01:39:18,040
Speaker 2: I liked I remember I liked this episode because these

1660
01:39:18,040 --> 01:39:20,120
Speaker 2: two they were a little bit older, and yet they

1661
01:39:20,120 --> 01:39:24,080
Speaker 2: were on a very teenage date. Like I remember being

1662
01:39:24,160 --> 01:39:25,920
Speaker 2: sixteen and I was on a date with a girl,

1663
01:39:26,400 --> 01:39:29,360
Speaker 2: like sitting in a car in a parking lot, and

1664
01:39:29,400 --> 01:39:32,040
Speaker 2: it just it feels like, you know, you have moments

1665
01:39:32,080 --> 01:39:33,439
Speaker 2: like that where you're like, all right, well that was

1666
01:39:33,479 --> 01:39:36,000
Speaker 2: all in high school, that's all gone. And I was

1667
01:39:36,040 --> 01:39:37,400
Speaker 2: talking to these two and I was like, oh shit,

1668
01:39:37,400 --> 01:39:39,439
Speaker 2: they're they're still doing it, you know, So I thought

1669
01:39:39,439 --> 01:39:43,720
Speaker 2: it was cool. Okay. As a refresher, me and my

1670
01:39:43,720 --> 01:39:47,439
Speaker 2: boyfriend met in January of this year through hinge. Bryce

1671
01:39:47,479 --> 01:39:50,280
Speaker 2: had asked me to be official in March, and our

1672
01:39:50,320 --> 01:39:53,479
Speaker 2: relationship has grown so much since we last spoke to you.

1673
01:39:53,960 --> 01:39:57,519
Speaker 2: We've traveled together, met family members, connected on a very

1674
01:39:57,520 --> 01:40:00,880
Speaker 2: emotional level, and we can both confidently say that we've

1675
01:40:00,960 --> 01:40:05,760
Speaker 2: never felt safer with anyone before. I love that. And look,

1676
01:40:05,800 --> 01:40:08,240
Speaker 2: these guys met when they were twenty nine or something

1677
01:40:08,280 --> 01:40:13,719
Speaker 2: like that. For all you young folks out there afraid

1678
01:40:13,760 --> 01:40:17,799
Speaker 2: you'll never find love. In our episode, we had briefly

1679
01:40:17,800 --> 01:40:20,519
Speaker 2: spoke about how many tribulations it took to find each other.

1680
01:40:20,760 --> 01:40:22,640
Speaker 2: I'm writing this not only as a form of a

1681
01:40:22,680 --> 01:40:25,400
Speaker 2: love letter, but I also wanted anyone in the dating

1682
01:40:25,400 --> 01:40:28,160
Speaker 2: scene who hears slash reads this to feel inspired to

1683
01:40:28,240 --> 01:40:31,599
Speaker 2: keep putting this themselves out there. I'd like to see

1684
01:40:31,600 --> 01:40:33,760
Speaker 2: this as a pay it forward because there was a

1685
01:40:33,800 --> 01:40:36,599
Speaker 2: force in my life who inspired me to keep putting

1686
01:40:36,640 --> 01:40:40,400
Speaker 2: myself out there despite feeling hopeless toward dating. And if

1687
01:40:40,400 --> 01:40:42,640
Speaker 2: it wasn't for that, I would not have what I

1688
01:40:42,720 --> 01:40:45,080
Speaker 2: have today. So if you happen to read this, thank

1689
01:40:45,120 --> 01:40:47,240
Speaker 2: you and thank you for all you do. Much love,

1690
01:40:47,360 --> 01:40:50,519
Speaker 2: take care at least. Wow, that's a great email to

1691
01:40:50,640 --> 01:40:56,240
Speaker 2: end on. It's tough, man, it's tough. The apps are

1692
01:40:56,240 --> 01:41:01,920
Speaker 2: a grind. You know. Real life is tricky. It's hard.

1693
01:41:01,920 --> 01:41:05,920
Speaker 2: It's hard for men and women out there, and I

1694
01:41:05,960 --> 01:41:08,200
Speaker 2: think a lot of people they get a little disillusioned,

1695
01:41:09,600 --> 01:41:13,839
Speaker 2: especially if you know things haven't happened at certain periods

1696
01:41:13,880 --> 01:41:16,439
Speaker 2: of time where you may have expected them to have happened.

1697
01:41:19,640 --> 01:41:22,120
Speaker 2: But yeah, I don't know. I've talked about this on

1698
01:41:22,160 --> 01:41:27,160
Speaker 2: here before. My parents are divorced and they're both remarried,

1699
01:41:27,920 --> 01:41:30,320
Speaker 2: and they got divorced when they were in their fucking

1700
01:41:30,760 --> 01:41:33,680
Speaker 2: h I want to say my parents got divorced in

1701
01:41:33,720 --> 01:41:39,320
Speaker 2: like they're mid or late forties, and they're both remarried.

1702
01:41:39,439 --> 01:41:41,960
Speaker 2: And the people that my parents are remarried to, my

1703
01:41:41,960 --> 01:41:47,760
Speaker 2: stepmom and my stepdad are significantly better matches for them

1704
01:41:47,800 --> 01:41:53,800
Speaker 2: than each other. I mean shit, I think my dad

1705
01:41:54,400 --> 01:41:58,519
Speaker 2: met my step mom when he was fucking forty nine

1706
01:41:58,640 --> 01:42:02,760
Speaker 2: or forty eight, forty six, and they've they have a

1707
01:42:02,800 --> 01:42:05,160
Speaker 2: great relationship. They've been together for a while. My mom

1708
01:42:05,240 --> 01:42:07,519
Speaker 2: met my stepdad when she was at a similar age.

1709
01:42:07,560 --> 01:42:10,360
Speaker 2: They've been together for you know, they have a great relationship.

1710
01:42:10,479 --> 01:42:18,479
Speaker 2: So yeah, I agree. Just keep putting yourself out there. Life, life, life. Okay, Well,

1711
01:42:18,600 --> 01:42:20,679
Speaker 2: this was a fun podcast. This was a good one.

1712
01:42:21,600 --> 01:42:25,800
Speaker 2: Shout out to Mason, Shout out to Cora. Thank you

1713
01:42:25,880 --> 01:42:29,479
Speaker 2: guys for calling, Thank you guys for emailing, Thank you

1714
01:42:29,479 --> 01:42:35,840
Speaker 2: guys for listening. Oh I am folks listening on Spotify

1715
01:42:37,600 --> 01:42:43,160
Speaker 2: or on any podcast form, although mainly Spotify. I'm gonna

1716
01:42:43,200 --> 01:42:45,920
Speaker 2: be I So this is the last thing I'll say

1717
01:42:45,920 --> 01:42:49,479
Speaker 2: before we go. I made this video. I don't know

1718
01:42:49,520 --> 01:42:56,840
Speaker 2: if you guys remember a caller named Diego from an

1719
01:42:56,880 --> 01:43:02,320
Speaker 2: episode back in December of twenty twenty four or twenty

1720
01:43:02,360 --> 01:43:08,040
Speaker 2: twenty three, But there was a caller there's this guy

1721
01:43:08,080 --> 01:43:11,920
Speaker 2: who called me on the show from Tijuana and we

1722
01:43:12,000 --> 01:43:16,360
Speaker 2: talked about the Tijuana breakdance scene. And I went to

1723
01:43:16,400 --> 01:43:20,759
Speaker 2: Tijuana a couple months ago to meet him in real life.

1724
01:43:21,240 --> 01:43:28,200
Speaker 2: And I made this little travelogue documentary video and actually,

1725
01:43:28,240 --> 01:43:30,080
Speaker 2: if you want to watch it on YouTube, it'll be

1726
01:43:30,120 --> 01:43:32,680
Speaker 2: It's out right now on my YouTube channel YouTube dot

1727
01:43:32,720 --> 01:43:35,800
Speaker 2: com slash Lyle Forever. But I'm also gonna try to

1728
01:43:35,880 --> 01:43:41,440
Speaker 2: post it on here on Spotify as like a video

1729
01:43:41,640 --> 01:43:48,880
Speaker 2: podcast episode on Friday, so look out for that. But

1730
01:43:48,920 --> 01:43:50,280
Speaker 2: if also, if you want to just watch it right now,

1731
01:43:50,280 --> 01:43:52,640
Speaker 2: you can watch it on my YouTube YouTube dot com

1732
01:43:52,720 --> 01:43:55,920
Speaker 2: slash Lyle Forever. It should be out by the time

1733
01:43:55,960 --> 01:44:03,800
Speaker 2: this podcast episode is out. Anything else that's it. Go

1734
01:44:03,840 --> 01:44:05,760
Speaker 2: watch that documentary. I hope. I want you guys to

1735
01:44:05,800 --> 01:44:08,360
Speaker 2: watch it because I worked hard on it and I

1736
01:44:08,360 --> 01:44:12,440
Speaker 2: want to make more of them, and if you watch it,

1737
01:44:12,439 --> 01:44:15,120
Speaker 2: it will it will make it so that I can

1738
01:44:15,160 --> 01:44:18,400
Speaker 2: make more around the world. Maybe I'll visit other callers.

1739
01:44:19,360 --> 01:44:21,439
Speaker 2: Maybe I'll go to Kenya, maybe I'll go to Brazil,

1740
01:44:21,479 --> 01:44:22,960
Speaker 2: maybe I'll go to the Middle East. I want to

1741
01:44:23,000 --> 01:44:27,160
Speaker 2: do all that shit. Okay, I'm done ranting. I gotta

1742
01:44:27,160 --> 01:44:29,639
Speaker 2: get off. I gotta get out of here. But uh, okay,

1743
01:44:30,320 --> 01:44:34,439
Speaker 2: see you guys soon. Thank you. Hello, folks, it's Lyle here.

1744
01:44:34,760 --> 01:44:38,120
Speaker 2: That's the end of this episode. But get this, I'm

1745
01:44:38,160 --> 01:44:42,960
Speaker 2: releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, an entire

1746
01:44:43,439 --> 01:44:46,960
Speaker 2: extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to

1747
01:44:47,040 --> 01:44:51,280
Speaker 2: by becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko over at

1748
01:44:51,360 --> 01:44:56,200
Speaker 2: therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers get access

1749
01:44:56,240 --> 01:45:00,000
Speaker 2: to bonus episodes. They get a completely ad free podcast

1750
01:45:00,200 --> 01:45:03,000
Speaker 2: feed of the regular show, they get recordings from my

1751
01:45:03,080 --> 01:45:06,680
Speaker 2: live shows, members only streams, and they help support my

1752
01:45:06,760 --> 01:45:10,360
Speaker 2: ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's a clip

1753
01:45:10,600 --> 01:45:13,800
Speaker 2: from this week's members only bonus episode.

1754
01:45:14,040 --> 01:45:16,000
Speaker 4: But I did want to tell a story about the

1755
01:45:16,040 --> 01:45:20,760
Speaker 4: first time I did acid. Okay hit me, and I

1756
01:45:20,800 --> 01:45:23,760
Speaker 4: wouldn't say I ended up in Narnia. I felt like

1757
01:45:23,920 --> 01:45:31,080
Speaker 4: all of my bones disconnected, like individually, and we're rotating

1758
01:45:31,320 --> 01:45:37,639
Speaker 4: like long waves inside of my skin. Like you don't

1759
01:45:37,680 --> 01:45:40,320
Speaker 4: know exactly how to explain it, but not like circular,

1760
01:45:40,400 --> 01:45:40,840
Speaker 4: but like.

1761
01:45:41,200 --> 01:45:45,160
Speaker 2: Your bones are rotating inside of your skin. If you

1762
01:45:45,160 --> 01:45:47,439
Speaker 2: want to hear this full conversation, you can sign up

1763
01:45:47,479 --> 01:45:51,400
Speaker 2: to become a premium member at therapy Gecko dot supercast

1764
01:45:51,600 --> 01:45:55,120
Speaker 2: dot com, or find the link in the episode description.

1765
01:45:55,560 --> 01:46:00,439
Speaker 2: That's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. All right, I

1766
01:46:00,479 --> 01:46:02,679
Speaker 2: have nothing else to say there.

1767
01:46:02,720 --> 01:46:05,960
Speaker 3: Rep Ken goes on the line taking your phone calls

1768
01:46:06,040 --> 01:46:06,639
Speaker 3: every night.

1769
01:46:07,000 --> 01:46:09,680
Speaker 2: The RepA Can goes doing his ride. He's teaching you

1770
01:46:09,720 --> 01:46:11,960
Speaker 2: to loud in the lid of your life, but he's

1771
01:46:12,040 --> 01:46:14,479
Speaker 2: not really an expert.