WEBVTT - Two Miracles: The Night Jane Boroski Survived 0:00:08.480 --> 0:00:14.680 It was August sixth, nineteen eighty eight. Jan Borowski was 0:00:14.760 --> 0:00:19.440 seven months pregnant. She had been at the fair, having 0:00:19.480 --> 0:00:24.520 a fabulous time. She got hot, she got tired, so 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:26.880 as she's driving home, she thought, I'm gonna stop at 0:00:26.880 --> 0:00:31.200 this convenience store and get me something to drink. Well, 0:00:31.240 --> 0:00:35.239 the convenience store was closed, but as luck would have it, 0:00:35.720 --> 0:00:39.200 they had a vendom machine outside. So she parked her car, 0:00:40.120 --> 0:00:43.520 rummaged through her pursed, tried to find some change, went 0:00:43.600 --> 0:00:46.600 up to the vendom machine and it took her money. 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:50.760 So she went back to her car, got more change, 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:54.520 and went back to the vending machine, and then things 0:00:55.520 --> 0:01:00.360 went away that she would have never thought possible in 0:01:00.520 --> 0:01:05.160 her deepest nightmares. She was only twenty two years old. 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:10.920 Now this story has a miracle attached to it, So 0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:16.000 y'all stay with me. Our guest tonight is not just 0:01:16.360 --> 0:01:22.280 a survivor. She's the only survivor of the Connecticut River 0:01:22.400 --> 0:01:27.360 Valley serial killer. And y'all, she's brought her own Zone 0:01:27.400 --> 0:01:35.840 seven with her. Please help me. Welcome Jane Barowski, Amanda Bettered, 0:01:36.560 --> 0:01:40.880 and Drew Bettered. Y'all, welcome to Zone seven. 0:01:41.240 --> 0:01:44.319 Thank you so happy to be here. Thank you for 0:01:44.360 --> 0:01:44.880 having us. 0:01:45.360 --> 0:01:46.600 Thank you so much for having us. 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:47.360 We appreciate it. 0:01:47.840 --> 0:01:51.120 Well, let me tell you what's remarkable. Some of y'all 0:01:51.120 --> 0:01:56.800 may already know their names. They're from the Invisible Tears podcast. 0:01:57.440 --> 0:02:00.760 Y'all know what I'm talking about. That podcast that goes 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:05.120 deep into what happened to Jane and then what she 0:02:05.440 --> 0:02:10.040 did with it, and y'all you know, sometimes you think, 0:02:10.560 --> 0:02:14.240 how in the world does something like this happen to 0:02:14.320 --> 0:02:19.600 somebody and they turn around and use it for good. Well, 0:02:19.600 --> 0:02:22.440 we're gonna talk about that too, because that's exactly what 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:30.480 she's doing. Jane. Why don't you talk about what happened 0:02:30.480 --> 0:02:33.079 that night just a little bit, and then I want 0:02:33.080 --> 0:02:36.000 to bring Amanda and Drew back in and let's talk 0:02:36.080 --> 0:02:41.280 about what you're doing currently. Does that sound okay? 0:02:41.800 --> 0:02:47.160 That sounds great? Thank you. Yeah, I everything you said. 0:02:47.200 --> 0:02:52.200 Went to affairs, stopped for a soda. I'm sitting there 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:57.320 drinking my soda and a vehicle pulled in part beside 0:02:57.320 --> 0:02:59.639 me on my passenger side of my car. 0:03:01.760 --> 0:03:05.880 Didn't think anything of it. I'd like to add that 0:03:06.720 --> 0:03:10.800 Swansea is a very small town in New Hampshire and 0:03:11.600 --> 0:03:15.959 in nineteen eighty eight. It had virtually no major crime, 0:03:16.360 --> 0:03:17.239 so I felt safe. 0:03:18.480 --> 0:03:21.720 Next thing I know, I see him in my rear 0:03:21.800 --> 0:03:25.480 view mirror walking behind my car, went up to my 0:03:25.600 --> 0:03:28.520 car door and tried to take me out of the car. 0:03:30.360 --> 0:03:34.760 We struggled. We thought I thought I kicked him. I 0:03:34.840 --> 0:03:37.680 ended up smashing my windshield because I went to kick 0:03:37.760 --> 0:03:41.880 him and I kicked my windshield. And then he took 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:45.920 a knife out and said, maybe this will persuade you 0:03:46.000 --> 0:03:49.640 to get out of the car, which it did. 0:03:49.760 --> 0:03:56.160 I got out of the car, and he was confusing 0:03:56.240 --> 0:03:56.480 to me. 0:03:58.520 --> 0:04:02.000 For one he he told me that I beat up 0:04:02.040 --> 0:04:06.960 his girlfriend, which obviously I had not, and he asked 0:04:07.000 --> 0:04:10.760 me or mentioned that my car was a Massachusetts car, 0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:14.080 which I was like, no, I have new Hampshire plates 0:04:14.120 --> 0:04:17.480 on my car. So he kind of like walked away 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:19.920 from me and went to the back of the car. 0:04:20.080 --> 0:04:23.960 And I'm thinking, okay, he's confused. It took me, you know, 0:04:24.320 --> 0:04:29.039 I took my safeguard down, thought that, you know, he 0:04:29.400 --> 0:04:33.240 mistaken me for somebody else. And the next thing I know, 0:04:33.279 --> 0:04:37.039 I see him walking towards his vehicle. Well then I'm like, 0:04:40.080 --> 0:04:44.520 I'm sitting here with a smash windshield, so I'm like, hey, 0:04:45.640 --> 0:04:50.080 what about my windshield? And those are the words that 0:04:50.120 --> 0:04:54.120 I regret for the rest of my life. He came 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:57.599 back around put the knife up against my neck and 0:04:58.680 --> 0:05:01.680 I'm standing there and he was still wanting me to 0:05:01.720 --> 0:05:04.000 go with him, and I knew in my mind if 0:05:04.040 --> 0:05:07.719 I went with him, I probably would not be alive today. 0:05:09.120 --> 0:05:14.480 So I saw a vehicle coming down the road headlights 0:05:15.120 --> 0:05:17.360 and I said to myself, Okay, the only way I'm 0:05:17.400 --> 0:05:20.800 getting myself out of this situation is to run as 0:05:20.839 --> 0:05:23.080 fast as I can to the road and scream. 0:05:23.839 --> 0:05:24.400 And I did. 0:05:24.760 --> 0:05:28.919 I just took right off, started running towards the road. 0:05:29.640 --> 0:05:30.920 The vehicle was coming. 0:05:31.080 --> 0:05:35.120 I'm screaming, and the vehicle just drove right by, and 0:05:35.320 --> 0:05:38.080 the next thing I know, he like tackled me down 0:05:38.160 --> 0:05:41.760 like a football player, got me on my back. I 0:05:41.800 --> 0:05:44.240 was laying on the ground on my back and he 0:05:44.279 --> 0:05:46.880 got on top of me, and before I knew it, 0:05:46.960 --> 0:05:56.240 he was stabbing me multiple times. And he stopped and 0:05:56.839 --> 0:06:00.919 got up walked away, And by this time I'm bleeding 0:06:01.200 --> 0:06:04.520 and I'm trying to get myself up, and I rolled 0:06:04.520 --> 0:06:07.159 myself over to my stomach and I get up on 0:06:07.240 --> 0:06:10.560 my hands and knees, and he drives by me and 0:06:10.720 --> 0:06:11.760 looked right down at me. 0:06:11.880 --> 0:06:14.479 I looked right up at him, and he just drove off. 0:06:15.360 --> 0:06:20.599 So I did everything I could to get to my vehicle, 0:06:20.960 --> 0:06:24.039 got in my vehicle, started it, and I had a 0:06:24.080 --> 0:06:26.640 friend of mine that lived about two miles down the road. 0:06:26.720 --> 0:06:29.120 So I knew if I could just get to his house, 0:06:31.480 --> 0:06:34.120 you know, I would be able to get help. And 0:06:34.560 --> 0:06:36.960 so I'm driving down the road and next thing I know, 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:38.880 I'm right behind him. 0:06:38.960 --> 0:06:40.400 He's right in front of me. 0:06:41.080 --> 0:06:43.159 You know, Jane, I got to tell you, that's part 0:06:43.200 --> 0:06:46.880 of the story that gave me, I think, the most chills. 0:06:47.000 --> 0:06:50.279 For some reason, I was not expecting that when I 0:06:50.320 --> 0:06:51.400 first heard your story. 0:06:51.520 --> 0:06:53.160 Oh I was not needle something. 0:06:53.279 --> 0:07:01.320 Oh yep. But for some reason, the idea that you 0:07:01.360 --> 0:07:03.640 were able to catch up to him and realize he's 0:07:03.680 --> 0:07:06.880 ahead of you. Oh lord, All right, go ahead, honey, 0:07:06.920 --> 0:07:07.920 I'm sorry, I just had. 0:07:07.760 --> 0:07:10.800 To That's okay. 0:07:10.920 --> 0:07:14.520 So he was in front of me, and my biggest 0:07:14.560 --> 0:07:16.440 fear was he was going to see where I turned 0:07:17.080 --> 0:07:20.480 the driveway that I was turning into. And so I 0:07:20.480 --> 0:07:23.240 got to the driveway, I pulled in the driveway, he went, 0:07:23.520 --> 0:07:28.080 He went four straight. I went up to my friend's door. Well, 0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:29.880 I didn't even get to the door. I got to 0:07:29.920 --> 0:07:33.080 the bottom of the little steps that goes up to 0:07:33.120 --> 0:07:35.440 the door, and I was just like, you need to 0:07:35.440 --> 0:07:39.640 get me help. Some asshole just stabbed the crap out 0:07:39.640 --> 0:07:45.760 of me and I collapsed on the steps and next 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:48.640 thing I know, we hear the vehicle come back by 0:07:48.720 --> 0:07:54.280 the house the opposite way, and we heard squealed tires 0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:58.520 and then it left in them just disappeared in the night. 0:08:00.600 --> 0:08:05.200 So I was I'm fortunate to be alive. I was 0:08:05.240 --> 0:08:07.560 stabbed twenty seven times. 0:08:08.840 --> 0:08:12.200 He sliced my juggler in my neck, I had two 0:08:12.240 --> 0:08:16.000 collapse lungs, a cut tendon in my thumb, a cut 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:19.000 tendon in my knee. I had a lot of defensive wounds. 0:08:19.400 --> 0:08:22.200 So let me just ask you, he thought he left 0:08:22.240 --> 0:08:22.880 you for dead? 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:25.760 I believe so, yeah, I believe that. 0:08:25.920 --> 0:08:29.080 So when he realized, wait a minute, that's her car. 0:08:29.200 --> 0:08:32.440 Because you had a very distinct car. Tell everybody your 0:08:32.480 --> 0:08:34.240 car because you love that car. 0:08:34.559 --> 0:08:36.200 Oh, I did love my car. 0:08:36.480 --> 0:08:40.360 I had a nineteen eighty five Firebird white right on it, 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:45.640 red interior. It was absolutely gorgeous. I absolutely loved the car. 0:08:46.120 --> 0:08:48.320 Loved it, and you know, I loved it so much 0:08:48.360 --> 0:08:53.439 that I kept it. Obviously that there was a lot 0:08:53.480 --> 0:08:57.040 of blood and everything in the car, and so while 0:08:57.040 --> 0:09:01.200 I was in the hospital, my husband had it clean detailed. 0:09:01.720 --> 0:09:06.920 After the police were done fingerprinting it and doing all 0:09:06.920 --> 0:09:12.960 their forensics and gathering evidence, my husband had it detailed 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:18.079 and he wanted to sell it, and I was like, no, 0:09:18.760 --> 0:09:19.480 that's my car. 0:09:20.480 --> 0:09:23.079 You're selling my car. I love that car. 0:09:25.320 --> 0:09:28.520 There's nothing like a car that you just you just 0:09:28.679 --> 0:09:31.160 dig it, like that's your set of wheels. 0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:32.320 You know, absolutely. 0:09:32.400 --> 0:09:35.960 That was a nineteen eighty five Firebirds where the nicest 0:09:35.960 --> 0:09:36.800 sports cars. 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:39.000 Uh, and it drove so nice. 0:09:39.559 --> 0:09:42.400 So let's talk about your support system. I want to 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:47.040 bring Amanda in first, because Amanda, you're a trauma expert, 0:09:47.360 --> 0:09:51.880 but you also have something that is in your wheelhouse 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:54.520 that I think is pretty powerful and we don't talk 0:09:54.559 --> 0:09:56.880 about it a lot. People don't maybe know a lot 0:09:56.920 --> 0:10:04.000 about it. You deal with energy, and I think that 0:10:04.240 --> 0:10:08.880 anybody that's ever been in a traumatic situation that had 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:12.560 somebody just touch their hand knows the power of touch. 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:18.800 I think making sure that people are intuitive and that 0:10:18.840 --> 0:10:21.160 they are ever present. I think that's one of the 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:24.720 most important things, Amanda. I was at a wedding about 0:10:24.760 --> 0:10:28.200 a year and a half ago, and the preacher told 0:10:28.240 --> 0:10:31.840 the couple to turn around and just take it in 0:10:32.679 --> 0:10:35.440 that this was going to go by so fast and 0:10:35.480 --> 0:10:38.400 there were going to be things they didn't remember, and 0:10:38.440 --> 0:10:43.880 he basically just made them take that moment. And I thought, 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:46.000 that's one of the most powerful things I've ever seen 0:10:46.040 --> 0:10:49.800 at a wedding. So tell everybody a little bit about 0:10:49.840 --> 0:10:53.000 what it is you do to help Jane. 0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:57.160 Yeah, sure, So I'm actually a wreaky master teacher, and 0:10:57.280 --> 0:11:01.880 so as you speak about energy, So, Reikie is a 0:11:01.920 --> 0:11:07.960 form of energy work where I channel universal energy through 0:11:08.000 --> 0:11:11.960 myself and help clients as I tune into their energy field. 0:11:12.400 --> 0:11:15.679 And while that sounds really, you know, kind of like 0:11:15.880 --> 0:11:19.120 kooky sometimes for people listening to it, just think about 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:25.400 it like this. Absolutely everything is energy, and when anybody 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:30.440 goes through any sort of situation, possibly trauma, maybe something 0:11:31.200 --> 0:11:35.479 great or something that's not so great, it actually imprints 0:11:35.640 --> 0:11:40.160 energy into your energy field. So as a reiki master, 0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:43.640 what I do is I tune into people's energy fields 0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:48.040 and I help them cleanse anything that may be stuck 0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:50.800 in their energy field. A lot of times people don't 0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:54.920 realize that pain can manifest in your energy field. 0:11:55.480 --> 0:12:02.200 Yeah, you can get diseases for sure. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, yep. 0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:06.120 So let me ask you this, Drew. I noticed that 0:12:06.200 --> 0:12:08.559 you and Amanda have the same last name. Is there 0:12:08.559 --> 0:12:10.400 a reason for that? Sorry? Ah? 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:11.840 Yes, Amanda is my wife. 0:12:12.920 --> 0:12:18.400 Okay. And then you have mentioned that you've known Jane 0:12:18.520 --> 0:12:21.120 your whole life, So tell us how the three of 0:12:21.200 --> 0:12:22.400 y'all teamed up. Ah. 0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:25.600 Yes, So, Jane and her husband Dennis have been friends 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:29.720 with my parents for my entire life. One of my 0:12:29.800 --> 0:12:33.960 earlier childhood memories is I actually do remember watching The 0:12:34.240 --> 0:12:37.959 Unsolved Mysteries when they covered Jane's case, so at a 0:12:38.080 --> 0:12:40.560 very early age. That did sort of leave that imprint 0:12:40.640 --> 0:12:47.040 and really did kick off my intrigue with true crime. 0:12:48.440 --> 0:12:52.000 And with Jane being so close to the family, it 0:12:52.080 --> 0:12:54.320 was very difficult for me because I wanted to ask 0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:57.560 her so many questions about the case, but I didn't 0:12:57.600 --> 0:13:00.520 want to bring it up because we were way too close. 0:13:01.080 --> 0:13:03.440 I didn't want to broach that subject. I didn't know 0:13:03.520 --> 0:13:05.680 if she was ready to talk about he or anything 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:10.000 like that. And then this was probably about ten fifteen 0:13:10.080 --> 0:13:13.600 years ago, Jane and I were sitting around campfire at 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:17.040 a campground in New Hampshire and she just looks at 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:20.160 me and goes, you know, Andrew, have I ever showed 0:13:20.200 --> 0:13:24.760 you the scars? And it instantly opened up kind of 0:13:24.800 --> 0:13:27.480 like that book, where I could just ask her questions 0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:30.720 about it, you know, who the current suspect at that 0:13:30.880 --> 0:13:33.000 time was, and just kind of do a little bit 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:35.160 of a deep dive with being able to ask her 0:13:35.200 --> 0:13:37.160 those questions that I kind of always wanted to know, 0:13:37.880 --> 0:13:42.000 and it made it very good for our relationship as well. 0:13:42.679 --> 0:13:45.720 And then it was around the when the pandemic kicked off, 0:13:46.840 --> 0:13:50.400 Jane and her daughter Jessica were listening to some episodes 0:13:50.440 --> 0:13:54.240 talking about the Connecticut Valley case and they were in 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:58.880 there going god, there's a lot of you know, wrong information, 0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:01.840 or the story is not really adding up, or they're 0:14:01.880 --> 0:14:04.840 talking about this and doesn't make sense, and they're like, 0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:08.520 why don't we do our podcast and actually tell the 0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:11.199 full story? But they didn't really know where to start, 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:14.360 and Jane was like, don't. I don't know how to 0:14:14.400 --> 0:14:19.840 do this, and Jessica goes ask Andrew. So Jane sent 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:21.960 me a text and was like, Hey, do you got 0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:23.560 do you want to go out to lunch? I've got 0:14:23.560 --> 0:14:26.040 a great idea. So we went to a Longhorn Sta 0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:30.960 Longhorned Steakhouse in Keene, New Hampshire, Jane, Me, Amanda and 0:14:31.040 --> 0:14:34.720 Jess and we sat there and just kind of talked 0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:37.720 about what the plans would be if we did want 0:14:37.720 --> 0:14:40.560 to do a show. And Amanda and I were absolutely 0:14:40.600 --> 0:14:43.800 honored because for me it was a if I can 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:47.200 help Jane, give her a platform to tell her story 0:14:47.960 --> 0:14:50.720 how it happened, but then also what happened to her 0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:53.240 after the fact. Because being a family friend, I was 0:14:53.280 --> 0:14:57.080 able to witness a lot of the stuff, even though 0:14:57.160 --> 0:15:00.560 Jane was she'll be admit to it, keeping a lot 0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:02.240 of stuff on the down low. So there was a 0:15:02.240 --> 0:15:04.200 lot that we didn't know, but we did know some 0:15:04.280 --> 0:15:07.080 of the some of the stuff that was happening to her. 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:11.120 So I just wanted to give her that opportunity to 0:15:11.320 --> 0:15:14.000 try to not only tell her story, but also if 0:15:14.000 --> 0:15:17.320 she can help somebody that also went through something traumatic. 0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:19.720 Amandon and I were going to be there to support 0:15:19.800 --> 0:15:22.520 her as best we could to try to put this 0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:23.320 podcast together. 0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:31.480 Jane, how important was it for you to not just 0:15:31.560 --> 0:15:35.200 have support but to have two people that are willing 0:15:35.240 --> 0:15:39.600 to say, hey, you may not understand this energy thing, 0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:42.320 but I'm going to try to help you, and then 0:15:42.440 --> 0:15:44.800 Andrews saying hey, I'm going to help run this thing 0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:49.920 and produce it and have all of that at your disposal. 0:15:50.240 --> 0:15:54.520 Oh as blessed today. I am blessed. 0:15:55.760 --> 0:16:01.120 We've become a great team. You know, I wanted a 0:16:01.160 --> 0:16:07.840 platform to share I suffered PTSD for a long time 0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:12.920 because of my attack, and I know there's a lot 0:16:12.960 --> 0:16:15.880 of people out there that also have gone through trauma 0:16:16.760 --> 0:16:24.120 and have PTSD, but they don't really know how to 0:16:24.400 --> 0:16:28.480 actually go about to getting help. It took me over 0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:31.840 twenty years to actually see a counselor for the first 0:16:31.840 --> 0:16:35.240 time about my attack and about what happened to me. 0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:43.760 So to when they just when they accepted and they 0:16:43.760 --> 0:16:47.600 were like, yeah, let's do this. I was elated. I 0:16:47.680 --> 0:16:50.960 was I felt blessed. I was like, Okay, now I 0:16:51.000 --> 0:16:53.360 have a platform to tell my story. Because you know, 0:16:53.640 --> 0:16:56.560 when you go through something traumatic like I've gone through, 0:16:57.320 --> 0:17:02.600 the story doesn't end with Okay, she healed physically, she's 0:17:02.640 --> 0:17:06.119 out of the hospital, she goes home. Story done. It 0:17:06.600 --> 0:17:11.280 doesn't happen that way. I may have healed very quickly physically, 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:14.600 but not mentally. Mentally took years. 0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:17.959 You made the news before you even got released from 0:17:18.000 --> 0:17:20.080 the hospital. You didn't know whether or not he was 0:17:20.119 --> 0:17:22.920 coming back exactly, especially once he knew your name. 0:17:23.040 --> 0:17:25.760 Yep, exactly exactly. And that was the thing. 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:29.600 Back then, they put the victim's names all over media, 0:17:29.920 --> 0:17:33.240 and they don't do that today. If the victim has survived, 0:17:33.680 --> 0:17:37.399 you don't see the victim's name anymore, especially if the 0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:41.600 case is unsolved. But yeah, back then was a very 0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:46.359 very different time, and so I, you know, I lived 0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:48.960 with a lot of fear for a long time, and 0:17:49.960 --> 0:17:53.240 it kind of produced other things in me, like anger 0:17:53.600 --> 0:18:01.399 and survivor's guilt and anxiety and night mayors and so 0:18:02.119 --> 0:18:07.320 I had, you know, I had all the symptoms of PTSD, 0:18:08.480 --> 0:18:10.560 but I at the time, I didn't know I had 0:18:10.640 --> 0:18:13.800 PTSD until I went to my counselor. And my counselor 0:18:13.880 --> 0:18:18.160 was like, hey, here's some symptoms of PTSD. I really 0:18:18.200 --> 0:18:21.240 think you have PTSD. Go home, and you know, look 0:18:21.280 --> 0:18:23.840 at the paper and look look at the symptoms. Because 0:18:23.880 --> 0:18:26.840 I was like, PTSD is for like you know, servicemen 0:18:26.880 --> 0:18:31.040 and women that have seen the unspeakable overseas, you know. 0:18:32.160 --> 0:18:35.720 But I read that and I was like blown away. 0:18:36.280 --> 0:18:38.479 But yet at the same time, I was like, oh 0:18:38.560 --> 0:18:40.120 my god, now I have PTSD. 0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:40.600 Now what? 0:18:41.119 --> 0:18:43.600 And that's what I said to her. I was like, okay, 0:18:44.040 --> 0:18:46.600 you got me. I have PTSD. Now what. 0:18:46.800 --> 0:18:50.560 And she's like, we start healing you. Those were words 0:18:50.680 --> 0:18:54.119 I have never heard. I never heard those before. 0:18:55.160 --> 0:18:59.080 She's the one that And you know, it's shocking that 0:18:59.720 --> 0:19:01.600 you know, here you are in the middle of this 0:19:01.680 --> 0:19:07.120 horrific event, yet you had not ever been told or. 0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:13.359 Sat and thought. I not only witnessed something unspeakable, I 0:19:13.400 --> 0:19:17.800 had something unspeakable happened to me, and as somebody's trying 0:19:17.840 --> 0:19:23.640 to kill me, I'm trying to protect my unborn child. Afterwards, 0:19:23.920 --> 0:19:26.240 I think I'm still being hunted. I don't know where 0:19:26.240 --> 0:19:28.520 he's at. I don't know if he's going to strike again. 0:19:29.520 --> 0:19:33.880 They asked you to do a composite, and you know, 0:19:34.280 --> 0:19:37.679 you can't even speak. You've got to blink yes or 0:19:37.760 --> 0:19:41.080 no for the composite. Tell everybody about that. 0:19:41.960 --> 0:19:43.280 So I was. 0:19:43.640 --> 0:19:46.320 I believe it was like day two or day three 0:19:47.040 --> 0:19:50.160 when I was in the hospital. I was in intensive care. 0:19:50.320 --> 0:19:50.800 I see you. 0:19:51.880 --> 0:19:56.960 I had a ventilator, and the detectives came in with 0:19:57.119 --> 0:20:02.280 this box of slides, and they were like different eyes 0:20:02.480 --> 0:20:06.840 and different noses and different mouths and different faces and hair, 0:20:07.119 --> 0:20:10.359 and so I had all kinds of different slides. And 0:20:11.600 --> 0:20:15.120 because I had a ventilator, they were trying to make 0:20:15.160 --> 0:20:19.920 a composite to spread around so that they could put 0:20:19.920 --> 0:20:23.960 that in the news and put flyers out and stuff. 0:20:24.400 --> 0:20:27.359 So I had to blink when they showed me eyes 0:20:28.119 --> 0:20:31.040 or nose. I had to blink once for yes and 0:20:31.080 --> 0:20:35.240 two for no. I think, you know, I look back 0:20:35.359 --> 0:20:37.280 and I thought about this a couple of years ago. 0:20:37.359 --> 0:20:40.040 I looked back on that, and it's like, I wonder 0:20:40.200 --> 0:20:43.800 if they thought they needed to get this composite out 0:20:43.920 --> 0:20:46.520 because they didn't think I was going to survive. 0:20:48.480 --> 0:20:50.920 And we don't know where he's at and he gets 0:20:50.920 --> 0:20:53.960 strike again. I mean, I'm sure it was a parallel concern, 0:20:54.040 --> 0:20:56.880 but you know, you're talking about both your lungs and 0:20:57.359 --> 0:21:00.879 carotid artery. I mean, he wasn't playing. He literally thought 0:21:01.040 --> 0:21:03.879 you were going to die right there in that parking lot. 0:21:04.440 --> 0:21:07.479 I think he expected me to but I didn't. 0:21:07.880 --> 0:21:11.159 No, you did, not, Sugar Amanda, when you talk about, 0:21:11.840 --> 0:21:13.399 you know, we're gonna do this and it's going to 0:21:13.480 --> 0:21:16.600 be victim centered and we're going to have a platform 0:21:16.640 --> 0:21:19.560 where other people can, you know, get help and tell 0:21:19.600 --> 0:21:25.200 their story. How difficult is it for you to make 0:21:25.280 --> 0:21:29.399 sure that you stay true to what y'all want to do, 0:21:29.520 --> 0:21:32.720 that you don't make an off handed joke that you 0:21:32.840 --> 0:21:36.760 don't not think about, Hey, this is the anniversary of 0:21:36.840 --> 0:21:39.159 when she was attacked, this is the anniversary when she 0:21:39.400 --> 0:21:41.960 was let out of the hospital, this is the anniversary 0:21:42.000 --> 0:21:46.119 of you know, the other victims. Like, that's a lot 0:21:46.240 --> 0:21:47.160 on you too. 0:21:47.680 --> 0:21:51.399 M Yeah, Yeah, it absolutely is. I definitely think that 0:21:51.680 --> 0:21:55.359 all of us can probably agree that. Since we've been 0:21:55.560 --> 0:21:58.639 in this podcasting space, and now, mind you, none of 0:21:58.720 --> 0:22:01.920 us were podcasters before. We had to teach ourselves, right, 0:22:02.280 --> 0:22:07.440 So as we've been sort of stumbling along this path, 0:22:11.600 --> 0:22:15.440 we've we've definitely we've learned quite a few things. I 0:22:15.480 --> 0:22:19.040 think now we are all finally at the point where 0:22:19.640 --> 0:22:25.200 we all understand that we are victim advocates. We see 0:22:25.240 --> 0:22:28.199 the work that we've done, we see who we've helped, 0:22:29.119 --> 0:22:31.879 and we're extremely proud of that and that sort of 0:22:32.000 --> 0:22:35.240 keeps us keeps us going and gives us momentum to 0:22:35.320 --> 0:22:38.800 keep going. I do have to say from a personal perspective, 0:22:38.840 --> 0:22:42.960 being within this space, especially like for myself personally, being 0:22:43.119 --> 0:22:47.040 very sensitive to energy, being very you know, compassionate and 0:22:47.200 --> 0:22:51.840 victim centric and that sort of thing. It being in 0:22:51.880 --> 0:22:56.560 this space has been hard for me sometimes I need to, 0:22:57.119 --> 0:23:01.440 you know, take some mental health today, is myself right, 0:23:01.560 --> 0:23:05.720 and just sort of decompress and just remember why we 0:23:05.760 --> 0:23:08.640 are doing what we're doing, and we're in it to help, 0:23:08.680 --> 0:23:10.240 and we're in it for the right reasons. 0:23:10.800 --> 0:23:15.480 I preach work life balance. That balance is so important. 0:23:16.080 --> 0:23:19.200 You've got to do something tough like I know today 0:23:19.800 --> 0:23:22.520 is tough on Jane. I know it, which is another 0:23:22.600 --> 0:23:25.399 reason I think you and Drew are so important. And 0:23:25.480 --> 0:23:28.520 Drew I was going to ask, you know, when she's 0:23:28.520 --> 0:23:30.520 got to gear up, She's got to tell this again. 0:23:31.240 --> 0:23:34.240 You know, this is not entertainment. This is her life. 0:23:34.880 --> 0:23:37.680 And you know, one thing that I have learned, whether 0:23:37.720 --> 0:23:41.240 it's talking to Jane or talking to Kathy Kleiner, they 0:23:41.280 --> 0:23:47.920 have this same just experience in that the killer would 0:23:47.920 --> 0:23:53.360 be killer was not in a hurry, he wasn't anxious, 0:23:53.680 --> 0:23:59.200 he wasn't just out of control, it's it's the opposite 0:23:59.240 --> 0:24:02.760 of Sometimes we envision and like if we were writ 0:24:02.840 --> 0:24:05.200 in this horror movie the way we would make the killer. 0:24:05.720 --> 0:24:10.080 He's calculated, he's calm. He jives past her and just 0:24:10.160 --> 0:24:13.600 looks at her and keeps going and goes slow. He's 0:24:13.640 --> 0:24:17.560 not speeding out of there. So when you're dealing with 0:24:17.680 --> 0:24:21.240 Jane before the show, during the show, which again I'm 0:24:21.240 --> 0:24:24.119 glad y'all are here for her, and then after the show, 0:24:24.480 --> 0:24:26.000 how important is that. 0:24:26.880 --> 0:24:29.960 It's very important for us to make sure that Jane 0:24:30.080 --> 0:24:33.160 is in the right headspace. If something is hitting her 0:24:33.440 --> 0:24:37.800 too hard, we definitely pull the rains back and we 0:24:38.320 --> 0:24:41.240 kind of look at the day that Jane is having. 0:24:41.320 --> 0:24:43.400 And a lot of times there is very good days 0:24:43.440 --> 0:24:45.560 where she's an open book and we can ask her 0:24:45.600 --> 0:24:48.919 as much questions as possible. Like, you know, there is 0:24:48.960 --> 0:24:51.440 one day where we just sat down and we were like, okay, Jane, 0:24:51.440 --> 0:24:53.600 put yourself back when you were laying on the pavement. 0:24:54.119 --> 0:24:56.040 Do you remember the sound of the shoes that were 0:24:56.040 --> 0:24:58.359 making as he was walking across the pavement. You know, 0:24:58.480 --> 0:25:01.159 what type of clothing was he wear? Like, trying to 0:25:01.840 --> 0:25:04.920 bring her back to that moment, to try to grasp 0:25:05.080 --> 0:25:09.880 any detail that she might have, but also knowing there's 0:25:09.920 --> 0:25:12.880 going to be certain times when she is not mentally 0:25:13.320 --> 0:25:16.960 in the right frame of mind to talk. But I 0:25:17.000 --> 0:25:19.200