1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,000 Speaker 1: How do I tell my parents that I'm gay? I'm 2 00:00:02,080 --> 00:00:04,440 Speaker 1: leaving them, I hate them, and I'm moving with my cousin. 3 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:06,280 Speaker 2: I'm just a lot to tell them. You just say 4 00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:08,640 Speaker 2: exactly that. I think you'll lay it down, street. 5 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:11,160 Speaker 1: Lay it down, all right. I seventeen female, am gay. 6 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:16,520 Speaker 1: My dad is a pastor. That is sometimes a rough combination, 7 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:19,759 Speaker 1: and my family have always been church people. I was 8 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 1: forced to come out when my mother decided to check 9 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:23,160 Speaker 1: my phone out of the blue. 10 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:24,599 Speaker 3: Oh what did she do? Well? 11 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:26,680 Speaker 1: She had done that in two years since I got 12 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:31,000 Speaker 1: my own phone and paid for it myself. Needless to say, 13 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:33,880 Speaker 1: they did not take the news of my gain as well. 14 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:37,519 Speaker 1: My mother told me to leave, so I did so. 15 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,640 Speaker 1: I went to my aunt's house, who was fully aware 16 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:41,800 Speaker 1: of the situation and more than happy to have me say. 17 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:43,599 Speaker 1: Shortly after I got there, my parents pulled up into 18 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:46,320 Speaker 1: the driveway. My aunt asked me to go outside and 19 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 1: talk to them, which I did. Oh, man, speak some 20 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,200 Speaker 1: sentence to them, baby girl. 21 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:51,599 Speaker 3: Yep. 22 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:53,880 Speaker 1: They proceeded to yell at me for two hours in 23 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 1: the yard, while my aunt's children were trying to sleep 24 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:57,360 Speaker 1: and my younger sister was. 25 00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 3: Crying in the car. 26 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 2: Oh, pee your parents and Sundays like they kind of suck. 27 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,120 Speaker 3: I kind of want to slap. 28 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:06,039 Speaker 1: I want to slibbity slap them all over their stupid faces. 29 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,760 Speaker 1: They told me to give them my keys since the 30 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:10,959 Speaker 1: car was in my dad's name, and as a seventeen 31 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 1: year old, you know you can't take out a car loan. 32 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:15,240 Speaker 1: They said they would leave if I did, so I 33 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,840 Speaker 1: gave them the keys and guess what, John what, they 34 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 1: in fact did not leave. Not only are they homophobic suckers, 35 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 1: but they are liars too. 36 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:28,040 Speaker 2: How can they be homophobic? They're assholes and they are 37 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 2: homophobic and their kid is their kid is gay, but. 38 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:37,040 Speaker 1: They are My mom went home while my dad yelled 39 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,680 Speaker 1: some more, and when he called me the devil jeez, 40 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:42,920 Speaker 1: I went inside and locked the door. My aunt tried 41 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:44,880 Speaker 1: to console me, but she had to work the next morning, 42 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,480 Speaker 1: so I asked her to go to bed. Oh, I know, terrible. 43 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,280 Speaker 1: The next day was Sunday, the large day, and no 44 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 1: one was home at my aunt's house because I guess 45 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: they were all in church. And my dad came back 46 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 1: and let himself into the house while I was sleeping 47 00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:01,639 Speaker 1: creep up with these parents. He said he was sorry, oh, okay, okay, 48 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 1: all right, and asked me to come to church with him, 49 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 1: and I agreed to go with him that night, but 50 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:09,840 Speaker 1: only if he left right then. So she's like, hey, yeah, 51 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 1: my frecking room dad. He said he'd be back at six. 52 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,520 Speaker 1: I have a cousin who's only a few months younger 53 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,640 Speaker 1: than me and that lives next door to my aunt, 54 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:19,280 Speaker 1: and I went over to the house because I didn't 55 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:22,800 Speaker 1: feel comfortable being home alone. Sometime during my visit, she said, hey, 56 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,840 Speaker 1: you know B, we were calling her be said you 57 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:27,840 Speaker 1: could stay at her house. She has a spare room. 58 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 3: Okay. I then proceeded ask who B was? Who is B? 59 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,239 Speaker 1: It turned out she was my older cousin who I 60 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,480 Speaker 1: had never met. He offered to take me over to 61 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,680 Speaker 1: talk to her. She was really nice and said if 62 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:40,680 Speaker 1: I helped clean out the room out, it was mine 63 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,600 Speaker 1: and my cat could stay too big enough for the 64 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:43,120 Speaker 1: whole family. 65 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,000 Speaker 3: That's a pretty good deal. 66 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,959 Speaker 2: When I got back to my aunt's house around four, 67 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:48,239 Speaker 2: she still wasn't home, but her fiance and children were. 68 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 2: We chatted for about ten minutes before my mom pulled 69 00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:51,760 Speaker 2: into the driveway. 70 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 3: What's with these parents always pulled into the driveway. 71 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 2: She's like, there's a trifley for me to pull into, 72 00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 2: the doing my bigotry everywhere. 73 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,040 Speaker 1: She came inside and told me I was going home 74 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,520 Speaker 1: with her right now, or she was calling the cops. 75 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,880 Speaker 3: Take up your eye? Are you kicking her out? Or? God? 76 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 2: She said, they may not be able to do anything 77 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,800 Speaker 2: to me, but if they came, they'd take my aunt's 78 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,920 Speaker 2: children away from her. Maybe it's because like, like, you know, 79 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 2: holding some kidnapping eye. 80 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:19,880 Speaker 3: God give me a break. 81 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,280 Speaker 1: My aunt's trailer had some problems that she had been 82 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:24,839 Speaker 1: working on getting fixed and that are now corrected, which 83 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:26,920 Speaker 1: I guess maybe they could use against her. Her fiance 84 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:29,400 Speaker 1: told me that I could stay and that he wasn't worried. 85 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,239 Speaker 1: But I was my aunt and her family or my 86 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:35,080 Speaker 1: whole world, and my mother knew exactly what she was 87 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 1: doing and threatening them. I felt I had caused enough 88 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:39,680 Speaker 1: problems and went home with my mother. Now I love 89 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 1: to read. I had a very large book collection, totaling 90 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 1: in around three thousand dollars. Three thousand dollars a lot. 91 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,080 Speaker 1: That's a lot of books. Bro, It's like a hundred bucks. 92 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 1: You smart, you smart? You were smarty pants over here. 93 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 1: All of my books were in my car, as I 94 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:56,240 Speaker 1: had no intention on leaving them. When I got to 95 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 1: the house with my mother, the rest of the family 96 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:02,720 Speaker 1: was sitting in the yard around huge pile of my books. 97 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,480 Speaker 3: Oh my god, what's going on? 98 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 1: And they were burning all the books like a big 99 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: family bonding experience. 100 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 3: What the fuck is wrong? Wow? 101 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:15,120 Speaker 1: When they finished, my parents came into my old room 102 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:18,400 Speaker 1: and interrogated me. When the questions got close to my 103 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:21,680 Speaker 1: brother fifteen Mail, who is bisexual, I refuse to answer 104 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:25,400 Speaker 1: and wouldn't tell them why what. When they wouldn't drop it, 105 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,960 Speaker 1: I grabbed my shoes and left on foot. I asked 106 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 1: my neighbor to call my aunt and cut to come 107 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,320 Speaker 1: get me, but my mom met us outside before she 108 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:34,279 Speaker 1: got the chance. She said she'd take me back to 109 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,520 Speaker 1: my aunt's after church, so I again left my mother. 110 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:40,200 Speaker 3: Dude, oh, p this sucks. Actually, Like you're trying to think, like, 111 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:41,760 Speaker 3: what do you do in this situation right now? 112 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:46,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm building up a response as we're going through it. 113 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,799 Speaker 2: It's like maybe trying to get a part time job 114 00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 2: and just like leave and get money while you're living 115 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:52,480 Speaker 2: with your aunt. 116 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:53,040 Speaker 3: Socky. 117 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,839 Speaker 2: Hopefully, hopefully, one of these family members seems like the 118 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:57,919 Speaker 2: cousin she doesn't know as well or the aunt like 119 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 2: hopefully some sort of configuration there, but it seems like 120 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,800 Speaker 2: some of the family members are are our supportive? 121 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:05,400 Speaker 3: Are supportive? 122 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:07,479 Speaker 1: Yeah, she said she'd take me back to my aunts 123 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:10,720 Speaker 1: after church, so again left with my mother chewed her word. 124 00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 1: After a horrendous church service, she took me back to 125 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,760 Speaker 1: my aunt's. She said she'd picked me up for work 126 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,159 Speaker 1: in the morning and to have my bags packed because 127 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,400 Speaker 1: I was staying home after that. The next day, at work, 128 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:23,159 Speaker 1: Bee's brother told me to send her the address and 129 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 1: she'd come get me when she got off work. Though 130 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,520 Speaker 1: I didn't know who Be was, it became very clear 131 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,680 Speaker 1: that my parents did when she came to pick me up. 132 00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 1: Oh I wish I still had pictures of the holes 133 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 1: my father left in the wall because she was that 134 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,600 Speaker 1: mad that he just freaking went hulk on that shit. 135 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:38,159 Speaker 3: God. 136 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:41,240 Speaker 1: I've been staying with Bee, her brother, and her long 137 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:44,280 Speaker 1: term girlfriend for about three months now, and I've never 138 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:47,279 Speaker 1: been happier. I have a semi okay relationship with my 139 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,560 Speaker 1: parents as I'm trying to be the bigger person, okay, 140 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,559 Speaker 1: So like op he's now staying in a better place. 141 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 3: Good. 142 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:56,479 Speaker 1: She's with her family, who seemed much more accepting. Yeah, 143 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,360 Speaker 1: the problem is we have all decided to move about 144 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 1: two hours hours away, so the movie two hours away 145 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,320 Speaker 1: from their parents. I'm really excited, but I don't know 146 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,160 Speaker 1: how to approach the subject with my parents. I want 147 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,479 Speaker 1: to tell them of it before we move, because I 148 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:10,120 Speaker 1: don't want to harm the relationship. But I have a 149 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:13,719 Speaker 1: few concerns. One B is more than okay with me 150 00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:16,360 Speaker 1: telling my parents, However, she doesn't want the whole family 151 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 1: inner business, namely my uncle, my mom's brother. But I 152 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:22,000 Speaker 1: know my parents are going to tell everybody. And Two, 153 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,360 Speaker 1: I'm not eighteen yet I won't be for a few 154 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,359 Speaker 1: more months. So can my parents take legal action? We 155 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 1: aren't moving out of state and I have been collecting 156 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 1: mail here, but I'm still a minor. They can take 157 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,560 Speaker 1: legal action. Is there any way to prevent them from 158 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,119 Speaker 1: doing so? Please help? 159 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:40,960 Speaker 3: Okay, Opy, we really loved Hell. We were not lawyers. 160 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 3: We are not. 161 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:46,960 Speaker 1: But something I do know is you can get emancipated 162 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:48,320 Speaker 1: from your parents. 163 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 3: Yeah. 164 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,919 Speaker 2: I'm not really sure how that works. Let's see emancipation. 165 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 1: So it's not easy to get emancipated from your parents 166 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 1: when you're under eighteen. Emancipation is a legal process that 167 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 1: gives a mind another right to make their own decisions 168 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,920 Speaker 1: and be responsible for their own well being. In most states, 169 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,320 Speaker 1: you have to be at least eighteen to be emancipated. However, 170 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:08,840 Speaker 1: there are some limited circumstances under which a minor can 171 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:12,680 Speaker 1: be emancipated before the age of eighteen. These circumstances vary 172 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 1: by state, but they conclude being married, being on active 173 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:21,280 Speaker 1: military duty, or being self supporting and financially independent. Okay, 174 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 1: so join the army, get a base, or be financially 175 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:27,880 Speaker 1: independent if you're seven. 176 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,760 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, go ahead. Oh yeah, sorry to cut you. 177 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:34,760 Speaker 2: But I don't know anything about anything, but I I 178 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 2: feel like you have a decent case for emancipation here. 179 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:39,040 Speaker 3: I think you do. I think you do. 180 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:40,800 Speaker 1: I mean you could also wait it out, you know, 181 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:44,600 Speaker 1: however long it is. But cauld, I imagine the legal 182 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 1: process to emancipate yourself might take more than that. 183 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:49,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's that's actually a great point. 184 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think probably, Like this is again, we are 185 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:58,080 Speaker 2: not the experts or whatever. But if I'm like thinking, 186 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:01,000 Speaker 2: if I'm in your shoes, I would probably just move 187 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,880 Speaker 2: with them and like, luckily, like there's only a few 188 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 2: months left, so I think like after those few months, 189 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 2: you should be in the clear. 190 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's tough one. Yeah. 191 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,800 Speaker 1: The thing is because like if you're seventeen, your parents 192 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,880 Speaker 1: have legal right to make decisions about your car and 193 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 1: custody until your return eighteen, so they can decide who 194 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:18,240 Speaker 1: you will live with. 195 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:19,800 Speaker 3: That's true. 196 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 1: But a minor who is seventeen may be able to 197 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:27,480 Speaker 1: petition the court for a change in their living rage arrangements, 198 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:30,440 Speaker 1: which is known as custody modification or change of custody. 199 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:33,120 Speaker 3: Interesting, but yet to prove to the court that there's 200 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:34,280 Speaker 3: good reasons for the change. 201 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:39,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean there's great evidence like this podcast, this podcast, 202 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 2: Hey shoot this in your petition for a man. If 203 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,920 Speaker 2: we get we used in court, that would be crazy, 204 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:46,920 Speaker 2: but it's crazy. I would look into those options. It 205 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,719 Speaker 2: seems like you've you've found a family member in b 206 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,480 Speaker 2: you like willing to take you in. You know, you're 207 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:54,720 Speaker 2: already working, like it's it seems like you're on your 208 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 2: path the independence. So I would keep researching and trying 209 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,640 Speaker 2: to join the military or join the military, or get 210 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 2: maarent army strong baby, But don't be above be financially Hey, 211 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 2: if you join the military, you will be financially independent, 212 00:09:07,559 --> 00:09:08,920 Speaker 2: and people in the military get. 213 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,600 Speaker 3: Buried very quickly. That's true. You'll probably you'll get all three. 214 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:12,320 Speaker 3: Dude trying to. 215 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:18,439 Speaker 2: Be an independent military wife. Hey, isn't that the dream? 216 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:19,199 Speaker 3: That's the dream.