1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,960 Speaker 1: My daughter wants five figures for her IVF treatment so 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,520 Speaker 1: she can have a baby. I said, no, I'm giving 3 00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:07,600 Speaker 1: it to my stepdaughter. Am I the a whole? 4 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:11,480 Speaker 2: What are all these demands for IVF? You know, like, just. 5 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,280 Speaker 3: Excuse me, Sam, I want a baby. 6 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 2: Why can't you just do it the old fashioned way 7 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:17,120 Speaker 2: and then like, you know, just like steal it from 8 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:18,919 Speaker 2: a nursery or straight. 9 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,680 Speaker 1: Rumpel Stiltskin the fat boy is just steal a baby. 10 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,160 Speaker 1: I am a father of two. Biological daughter is twenty 11 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,680 Speaker 1: six and my stepdaughter is eighteen. I'm lucky to have 12 00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:29,800 Speaker 1: established a good relationship with my stepdaughter that is based 13 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 1: on mutual trust and respect. 14 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:32,159 Speaker 3: Very nice. 15 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:35,000 Speaker 1: I raised her when she was two. I don't even 16 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:37,880 Speaker 1: call her my stepdaughter. I call her my own. She's 17 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:41,000 Speaker 1: always dreamed of owning a car and hinted about wanting 18 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,159 Speaker 1: a car for her eighteenth birthday four years so I 19 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:45,360 Speaker 1: took it upon myself to try and save up for one. 20 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:47,560 Speaker 1: It took me years to save up to be able 21 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,320 Speaker 1: to get her a decent car as a gift, and 22 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 1: I felt thrilled I was able to achieve this goal, 23 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,599 Speaker 1: knowing how much it means to her. I haven't bought 24 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,720 Speaker 1: the car just yet, and I'm currently looking for a 25 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:58,760 Speaker 1: decent car around ten to thirteen thousand dollars. My oldest 26 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,280 Speaker 1: daughter has been struggling with infertility, and she and her 27 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:04,399 Speaker 1: husband already tried the clinical route but weren't successful. They 28 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 1: stopped trying for a year due to financial struggles. I 29 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:09,520 Speaker 1: visited her last week and she talked about how she's 30 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:12,600 Speaker 1: getting ready to go through another round of IVF. 31 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,039 Speaker 2: IVS sounds so rough and so expensive. 32 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:16,920 Speaker 1: We talked about the money, and she brought up the 33 00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:19,760 Speaker 1: money that I was saving or her stepsister's car. I 34 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:22,480 Speaker 1: tried cutting into the conversation, but she asked if she 35 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:24,679 Speaker 1: could borrow the money and she'll repay it in a 36 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:28,000 Speaker 1: few months. I said no, because what's the use of 37 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:30,120 Speaker 1: getting money in a few months when I want to 38 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 1: buy my stepdaughter her car, stepcar, stepcar. 39 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,240 Speaker 3: That's not where the gas goes. 40 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:38,200 Speaker 1: Her husband pointed out how his parents helped with the 41 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 1: previous treatment costs and now it's my turn since we're family. 42 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:45,040 Speaker 1: So he said, my stepsister can get a car anytime later, 43 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:48,160 Speaker 1: but logically the money should go towards a better case. 44 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 1: I declined, saying that it's her last birthday with family 45 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 1: before she moves away from college, and I didn't want 46 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,640 Speaker 1: to disappoint her. My daughter said that she wasn't asking 47 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:59,279 Speaker 1: for a fancy new car. She just longs to become 48 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 1: a mother. In all honesty, I stated, even if I 49 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 1: gave her the money, there's no guarantee the treatment will 50 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:06,600 Speaker 1: work this time. Her husband said, I had my priorities 51 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:09,320 Speaker 1: messed up, asking who in their right mind sees their 52 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,679 Speaker 1: child struggle with such a massive issue and refuses to help, 53 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:15,800 Speaker 1: and then prioritizes the car over a potential grand baby 54 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 1: that every sane grandparent dreams of having. I asked, why 55 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:22,080 Speaker 1: isn't someone else besides his parents helping? And my daughter 56 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,320 Speaker 1: said that they already asked others for money, but are 57 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,119 Speaker 1: struggling with debt with her medication. 58 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:28,560 Speaker 2: So in what world do you think if she's already 59 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,000 Speaker 2: in debt, how will she be able to pay op back. 60 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:34,000 Speaker 2: You're not asking for a loan, you're asking for the money. 61 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: Out for the money, yeah, I said, even if the 62 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,840 Speaker 1: treatment pays off, then what did she really think having 63 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 1: a baby while struggling with debts was a good idea? 64 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,720 Speaker 1: She got quiet, and her husband asked if I could 65 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 1: leave and he won't call me selfish since I already 66 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 1: know that's why I kept getting defensive. I left without 67 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,640 Speaker 1: further arguing, and my sister had a fight with my 68 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,160 Speaker 1: wife and argued with me, saying that I got carried 69 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 1: away and spoiling my stepdaughter to please her mom and 70 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:01,200 Speaker 1: neglected my blood daughter and made light of her struggles. 71 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 1: She kept insisting that I do the right thing, but 72 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,919 Speaker 1: I was mad at my daughter hold her, even more 73 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:08,560 Speaker 1: upset that my son in law wanted to talk to 74 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:11,359 Speaker 1: my stepdaughter about it and spoil the surprise. I like 75 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:13,560 Speaker 1: to add that I'm not on good terms with my 76 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:16,360 Speaker 1: daughter's in laws because of how they are in general, 77 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 1: especially her mother in law, but I tried to stay civil. 78 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:23,080 Speaker 1: Still she insisted on insulting my wife. My wife no 79 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,760 Speaker 1: longer wants to be around this woman, and it's understandable, 80 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,679 Speaker 1: but we're getting a lot of heat from my son 81 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 1: in law for how we're reacting. I'm seeing a number 82 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 1: of people asking why my daughter and her husband need 83 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 1: the money now, since they're young and can save up 84 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 1: on their own. I'm not sure about that answer, but 85 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:39,920 Speaker 1: it seems to me that my daughter is getting I 86 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:43,120 Speaker 1: shured by her husband and his family, and adoption is 87 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 1: off the table due to their mentality. My son in 88 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,240 Speaker 1: law is thirty three years old and he also has 89 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:52,400 Speaker 1: a medical condition to manage. Okay, there's a lot going 90 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,840 Speaker 1: on here. I would love to know what everyone thinks 91 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 1: right now, speak your mind, let us know if you 92 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,400 Speaker 1: think OPI is the ahole. And then also, I mean, 93 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 1: we've seen so many IVF stories are like infertility stories. 94 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:05,800 Speaker 1: We would love to hear your own infertility and IVF 95 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:09,200 Speaker 1: and other stories either in the YouTube comments or even 96 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,800 Speaker 1: better on our slash okop show because we want to 97 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,119 Speaker 1: take some and invite you on the show. 98 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 2: Say what do you think is OPD a hole? I 99 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:16,760 Speaker 2: don't think so. 100 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 3: Yeah. 101 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 2: I do think that there are many parents, if they 102 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 2: had the financial means, that would want their children to 103 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:28,000 Speaker 2: be able to have children totally. So, Like, I don't 104 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 2: think it's an unreasonable thing to ask your parent. But 105 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 2: if they say no, you know, they say no, what 106 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 2: can you do they say no? Say no. I don't 107 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 2: think Op's the a hole. Especially it's like Op's daughter 108 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 2: is not asking for a loan, asking for the money 109 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:41,360 Speaker 2: out right. 110 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:44,800 Speaker 1: I think they're deluding themselves into thinking they're asking for 111 00:04:44,839 --> 00:04:45,120 Speaker 1: a loan. 112 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:46,440 Speaker 3: They're not. 113 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,400 Speaker 2: They're not asking for a loan. Yeah, I don't know, 114 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 2: Like what is the best course of action here. If 115 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:53,120 Speaker 2: I was ope this, it might be an a whole 116 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:56,200 Speaker 2: move to actually say, hey, daughter, I'm going to give 117 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:59,039 Speaker 2: you a car, but if you want the car over 118 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:00,120 Speaker 2: helping your sister. 119 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,479 Speaker 1: Right, it puts her in a precarious situation too, because 120 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:04,200 Speaker 1: you're like, I don't want to seem like a jerk, 121 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,440 Speaker 1: like for picking a car over niece. 122 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,240 Speaker 3: Essentially, Yeah, so, yeah, do you want a car or 123 00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:09,960 Speaker 3: do you want a niece. 124 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 2: That's really tough. I'm gonna say, oh, you should put 125 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:12,800 Speaker 2: it in the daughter's hands. 126 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,359 Speaker 1: I would probably still go through with a surprise and 127 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,159 Speaker 1: then maybe later down the line be like I would 128 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,640 Speaker 1: tell my daughter and son in law like, listen, I 129 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:24,040 Speaker 1: saved up this money. This is the plan I had 130 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,800 Speaker 1: for it, and like if I had all the money 131 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,760 Speaker 1: in the world, I would in a second, yeah, give 132 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 1: it to you. But like, at the end of the day, 133 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 1: this is what I was able to do over years 134 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,560 Speaker 1: of saving, and like, this is something I want to do. 135 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:38,839 Speaker 2: I would be curious to hear if the daughter ever 136 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,520 Speaker 2: got some kind of like financial help for a car 137 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:43,360 Speaker 2: or a house or anything like that, or. 138 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 1: Some sort of like equivalent gesture, even if it wasn't 139 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,040 Speaker 1: the same amount of money. Maybe back in the day 140 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 1: he was like financially worse off, and it's like, okay, 141 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,680 Speaker 1: I could only save up this, but here's like three 142 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:52,120 Speaker 1: thousand for your high school graduation. 143 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,120 Speaker 2: I would love to know if there was anything like that, 144 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:57,440 Speaker 2: because if there wasn't, then it's kind of like a favoritism. 145 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,160 Speaker 2: It feels like a little bit of favoritism. 146 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,240 Speaker 1: I think the son in law and daughter are the 147 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:02,839 Speaker 1: a hole for pushing him so hard. 148 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, especially if it doesn't seem like he has, like, 149 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:07,000 Speaker 2: you know, a tone hundred percent of money to spend. 150 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:08,280 Speaker 2: But let us know what you think. Put in the 151 00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:09,840 Speaker 2: comments below and we'll see you soon. 152 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:14,440 Speaker 1: Bureaucracy at its finest, and had to circumvent it. A 153 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:17,480 Speaker 1: read a story guide. It was Italy, the year nineteen 154 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:19,280 Speaker 1: ninety five. I love how that starts. 155 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 3: The year was nineteen ninety five, The perfect start Italy. 156 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:26,839 Speaker 2: In a little Italian bistro just below the Farmer's Market. 157 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 1: It was a CPA tone. Man in a dark fedora 158 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:30,720 Speaker 1: was sipping an espresso. 159 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:34,719 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, smoking a cigarette, and he was thinking to himself. 160 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:38,240 Speaker 3: Mo ma me yeah. Internet was dial up only and 161 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 3: really expensive. 162 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:42,560 Speaker 1: One municipality decided to give away free dial up internet 163 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 1: to any citizen who asked for it. The procedure to 164 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 1: get an account was to call the appropriate municipal office 165 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,919 Speaker 1: by phone or to get an appointment, or go to 166 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,520 Speaker 1: the office, show your ID and have a username slash password. 167 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,840 Speaker 1: I was walking past the office and thought, hey, why 168 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: not like that? But bye, come mine. I went in 169 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,200 Speaker 1: and there was a small desk in the big empty 170 00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:05,360 Speaker 1: room with a sign that said I perbly e per 171 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:09,600 Speaker 1: bowl per bowl. I think could be that or hyperbly. 172 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 1: It's one of those the name of a free internet initiative, 173 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:14,640 Speaker 1: so that's the name of the initiative. I asked the 174 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:16,560 Speaker 1: clerk who was free and if I could sign up 175 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,680 Speaker 1: for free internet. She asked me if I had an appointment. 176 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 1: I told her that I did not. I was just 177 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 1: walking by and decided to go in, and since there 178 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:25,280 Speaker 1: was no one waiting, I asked if I could do 179 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,640 Speaker 1: it without an appointment. She told me that I had 180 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:30,800 Speaker 1: to take an appointment, so I asked her, okay, can you. 181 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:31,560 Speaker 3: Give me an appointment. 182 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:35,080 Speaker 1: She told me, you must call the phone number to 183 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:37,440 Speaker 1: get one. That is the only way. So I walked 184 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 1: three meters ten feet back. I picked up my cell 185 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 1: phone and I called the number, to which she answered 186 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:44,560 Speaker 1: the phone herself. 187 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:46,320 Speaker 2: Oh my god, and gave me an. 188 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:49,880 Speaker 1: Appointment for ten minutes from now. I don't know if 189 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 1: she actually noticed that it was me calling her from 190 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 1: the same exact room. 191 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:56,920 Speaker 2: You got a lot of it, like the bureaucracy is 192 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,360 Speaker 2: so heavy and that it's like, just speak to me 193 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:02,200 Speaker 2: on another device and it will be fine. But it's 194 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 2: also like not even like I would understand. It's like, oh, 195 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 2: we have to be in the system or whatever. But 196 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 2: this is like in nineteen ninety five. 197 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:08,040 Speaker 3: There is no. 198 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 2: There's no system. It's ridiculous. 199 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,160 Speaker 1: And it's like, okay, i'll meet when ten minutes is like, oh, 200 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,640 Speaker 1: it's okay, Like I'll just take you now. 201 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:16,440 Speaker 3: Hello. 202 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 1: I went back to her desk and I said, I 203 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,560 Speaker 1: know I'm a little early. Sorry, can I have internet 204 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 1: access credentials? And this is how I got free internet access. 205 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:25,920 Speaker 3: Wow. 206 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:29,400 Speaker 2: Ope, work in the system, getting through that bureaucracy. 207 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,520 Speaker 3: Also free internet. That's that's lit. 208 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,880 Speaker 2: That's a great I mean it's dial up but true. 209 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:36,200 Speaker 2: But that's pretty late. 210 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,200 Speaker 3: You know, you're just loading Google dot com. 211 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:41,880 Speaker 2: Yeah. What else was around nineteen tenety five, Yellow Books, 212 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,400 Speaker 2: Yellow website, Peace Space,