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Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to another new episode of

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Speaker 1: You Need Therapy. My name is Kat and I'm the host.

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Speaker 1: Here quick little reminder before we get started. Yes, this

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Speaker 1: podcast is called You Need Therapy, but this and itself

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Speaker 1: is not therapy. It is just a resource. So I

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Speaker 1: was thinking about how, like I started this career. I

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Speaker 1: started being a therapist a long time ago, Like I

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Speaker 1: went to school when I was twenty two, started my

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Speaker 1: internship when I was like twenty three, and I just

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Speaker 1: started thinking about like how I started, and then like

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Speaker 1: what I've learned along the way. And it's so funny

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Speaker 1: because when you start being a therapist, you can't just

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Speaker 1: know all of the things that you're going to know

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Speaker 1: that eventually make you into the kind of therapists that

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Speaker 1: you are, like evolve you into the kind of therapist

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Speaker 1: you are. You have to just start with what you

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Speaker 1: know and learn along the way. And you start with

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Speaker 1: the information and the trainings you do in school, and

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Speaker 1: that's so important, But you learned so much by experience

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Speaker 1: and being a human, and you can only learn so

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Speaker 1: much in the classroom. I mean, definitely helps you need

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Speaker 1: to go to school, But if you want to be

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Speaker 1: a therapist. Um, but it's not the only part. So

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Speaker 1: what I started to do and I made this like

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Speaker 1: super long list, is I started to write down all

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Speaker 1: of the things that I have learned like along the way.

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Speaker 1: So I started making like a Google doc that just

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Speaker 1: basically it was like quotes or just like messages or

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Speaker 1: hard truth or just myths and stuff like that, like

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Speaker 1: things I've learned along the way that have been really

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Speaker 1: helpful and kind of helped evolve me into the kind

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Speaker 1: of helper I am. And some of them took nine

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Speaker 1: years to figure out, and some took like thirty days

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Speaker 1: and clicked immediately. Some makes sense and at the same

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Speaker 1: time or very hard to still like sit inside of

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Speaker 1: your soul like you can know them, but it's hard

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Speaker 1: to like feel know them. And this list is like

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Speaker 1: fifty six pages long. So I wanted to do an

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Speaker 1: episode where I kind of talked about this list, but

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Speaker 1: that would be too much. It would just maybe like

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Speaker 1: reading those things, and so I don't think that'd be helpful.

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Speaker 1: So I decided to pick fifteen. They're not necessarily the

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Speaker 1: top fifteen. I don't think you can rank this stuff,

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Speaker 1: but they're just important ones that I just chose So

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Speaker 1: some of the stuff I've talked about on here, some

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Speaker 1: of it I have not. It's a little bit of

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Speaker 1: a mixed bag. So let me present to you fifteen

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Speaker 1: things being a therapist has taught me so far. Number one,

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Speaker 1: it's not always about you. Yeah, this one is so

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Speaker 1: hard to actually believe sometimes, but so freaking powerful when

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Speaker 1: you do. Usually we are born this like insanely ecocentric

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Speaker 1: being like, that's just how we are in the early

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Speaker 1: stages of development. Being ecocentric is like the very normal

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Speaker 1: tendency or or way that a child sees everything as

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Speaker 1: it all relates, and and it's happening to them. It's

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Speaker 1: not like being selfish, it's just not You don't have

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Speaker 1: the ability to like under stand how the world works yet.

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Speaker 1: And as we move through life, we're supposed to grow

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Speaker 1: out of this, and we're supposed to develop this ability

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Speaker 1: to see that like other people's behavior isn't always revolving

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Speaker 1: around us, but it doesn't always happen. And then what

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Speaker 1: does happen is we can find ourselves saying over and

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Speaker 1: over again things like what's wrong with me? Why am

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Speaker 1: I not enough? Why wasn't I enough? Why was I

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Speaker 1: too much? What could I have done better? And the

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Speaker 1: reality is these are all irrelevant because often the behavior

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Speaker 1: of others has very little to do with us, and

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Speaker 1: we just can't stop making it about us. Now. Often

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Speaker 1: this can happen as a result of childhood trauma maybe

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Speaker 1: needs be it emotional, physical, any of that aren't met consistently,

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Speaker 1: or you grow up in chaos, or a family member

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Speaker 1: leaves or a family member dies when you're still in

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Speaker 1: that like natural state of ecocentric nous and as a

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Speaker 1: small child or adolescent, we just naturally think these things

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Speaker 1: are because of us. And if that belief isn't addressed,

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Speaker 1: then it just becomes like a screen, which I've talked

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Speaker 1: about the screens on this podcast a lot, So it

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Speaker 1: becomes kind of like a lens that we see the

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Speaker 1: world through and it actually is not accurate. So when

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Speaker 1: we do develop and we do adopt the truth that

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Speaker 1: like not everything is about us, our world has the

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Speaker 1: opportunity to just like change dramatically. So number one, it's

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Speaker 1: not always about you. Number Two, there's a lot of

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Speaker 1: bad in the world and they're still good. The trick

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Speaker 1: is allowing yourself to see both. And oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: my first couple of years working as a therapist, I

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Speaker 1: got like emotionally beat up. I found myself stuck in

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Speaker 1: this spot of do I become jaded by life? And

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Speaker 1: do I just think the world is evil? And do

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Speaker 1: I just like take on this hardened outlook on humanity

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Speaker 1: or is there like another option? I would like there

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Speaker 1: to be another option, but I'm leaning towards like become

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Speaker 1: jaded by life. And I found myself in the spot

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Speaker 1: where like I didn't really know how to survive and

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Speaker 1: like enjoy being in our world. I was doing that

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Speaker 1: thing where like you see something and basically it's all

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Speaker 1: you pay attention to, so then it's all you see,

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Speaker 1: and then you just think that you see more of

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Speaker 1: it because it's all you see, But really it's because

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Speaker 1: you're just paying attention to one thing. So we do

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Speaker 1: it to ourselves. And the truth is there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of like fucked up ship in the world, like a lot,

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Speaker 1: but that's not all there is. And I cannot take

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Speaker 1: away the bad. We cannot take away the bad. We

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Speaker 1: can't get rid of that. But me thinking that the

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Speaker 1: world is just forever evil robs me of the ability

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Speaker 1: to experience that this is not the whole story. There

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Speaker 1: is good in the world, we just have to be

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Speaker 1: brave enough to see it. Number three. Not everything can

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Speaker 1: be fixed and not everything deserves fixing. Yeah, so this

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Speaker 1: kind of speaks to itself. Humans have a hard time

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Speaker 1: sitting in discomfort. I think we've definitely decided that here

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Speaker 1: on the podcast, and it can be super uncomfortable to

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Speaker 1: have broken relationships, broken anything. Often relationships and things break

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Speaker 1: because they just don't work together. So not everything can

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Speaker 1: be fixed and not everything deserves fixing. Number four, we

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Speaker 1: would all be very lost without Alley moments. Now. I

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Speaker 1: know this one is very cliche, but also it's not wrong.

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Speaker 1: This always reminds me of the part in The Glass Castle,

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Speaker 1: which was a book that I had to read an undergrad,

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Speaker 1: and I kind of want to read it again because

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Speaker 1: how freaking good it is. But there's this part in

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Speaker 1: the Glass Castle where they're talking about the Joshua tree,

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Speaker 1: and I'm just gonna read a little like it's like

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Speaker 1: two sentences from the book. One time I saw a

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Speaker 1: tiny Joshua tree sapling growing not too far from the

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Speaker 1: old tree. I wanted to dig it up and replant

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Speaker 1: it near our house. I told mom that I would

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Speaker 1: protect it from the wind and water every single day

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Speaker 1: so that it could grow nice and tall and straight.

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Speaker 1: Mom frowned at me, you'd be destroying what makes it special,

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Speaker 1: she said, it's the Joshua trees struggle that gives it

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Speaker 1: its beauty. Oh, and I just love it because if

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Speaker 1: you know what Joshua tree is, it's those like windy,

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Speaker 1: twiny and like twirly things, and like they're so freaking cool,

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Speaker 1: and it's so true like the struggle that that gives

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Speaker 1: it it's beauty. Without the struggle, it wouldn't look that way.

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Speaker 1: And I will always stand by the idea that we

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Speaker 1: can be grateful for our growth without being grateful for

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Speaker 1: the thing that made us grow. I'm not grateful for trauma.

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Speaker 1: I want to be very clear about that. I'm not

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Speaker 1: grateful for trauma. I am grateful for the parts of

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Speaker 1: me that I was forced to find and see and

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Speaker 1: hold and know because of what I've gone through. I'm

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Speaker 1: not grateful for the trauma, but a lot of the

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Speaker 1: hard parts of life or what have forced me to

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Speaker 1: tap into the parts of me that I might not

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Speaker 1: ever find if I didn't have to find them, which

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Speaker 1: leads me to number five four five and six kind

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Speaker 1: of all to go together. Number five, asking for help

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Speaker 1: is one of the most vulnerable and courageous things humans

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Speaker 1: can do. This is also one of the things that

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Speaker 1: is the hardest for people to do, which I found

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Speaker 1: very very, very very early on. It is extremely difficult

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Speaker 1: for people to ask for help for different reasons. And

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Speaker 1: I wonder often when we're going to universally acknowledge that,

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Speaker 1: like asking for help is like actually a huge act

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Speaker 1: of strength and power. I mean, we're humans, and humans

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Speaker 1: were put on earth more than one at a time,

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure for a reason. And we were literally

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Speaker 1: created to need people and to be connected to people,

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Speaker 1: like actually we were born connected to another human, Like

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Speaker 1: it's that literal. And what we know through through just

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Speaker 1: like living life and also through research and science is

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Speaker 1: that like humans can't develop fully in like a vacuum

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Speaker 1: by themselves. They need people. They just do. If you

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Speaker 1: want to be a functional human, you need other people.

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Speaker 1: That is just a truth. And we never stop being

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Speaker 1: humans aroound our lives. So like it's not like when

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Speaker 1: you're a kid, you can you can need people because

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Speaker 1: you're a human when your kid, but when you get

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Speaker 1: older you turn into this like robot thing that doesn't

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Speaker 1: need No, you're always a human, so that means you

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Speaker 1: never stop needing, which brings me into number six. Like

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Speaker 1: I said, four or five and six are kind of connected.

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Speaker 1: We don't just need help in our value moments. I

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Speaker 1: love talking about the Valley, I really do. Maybe I'll

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Speaker 1: do an episode on that. But this was a later

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Speaker 1: lesson for me. It came after I realized very early

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Speaker 1: on that asking for help is an amazing sign of strength.

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Speaker 1: But I think clicked after I realized how important like

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Speaker 1: aftercare was when it came to the recovery process, Like

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Speaker 1: when I was working in treatment and you put so

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Speaker 1: much effort into making sure people had all this aftercare

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Speaker 1: and we had all these resources, and we had to

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Speaker 1: these backup plans, these all the stuff, and it was like,

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Speaker 1: why do these people are sober now they've worked on

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Speaker 1: their trauma. Why do we still need this? And it's

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Speaker 1: because like when we come to like the early stages

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Speaker 1: of like okay, I need help, Like when we were

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Speaker 1: finally like okay, I need help, there's usually like a

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Speaker 1: little bit of like motivation to do the work and

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Speaker 1: feel better, and then like we we get excited because

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Speaker 1: things aren't working, And then we're climbing to the top

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Speaker 1: of the mountain and we're getting out of the valley,

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Speaker 1: and so we're doing all the things, and then once

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Speaker 1: we get to the top of the mountain, it's like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm done. But then we forget that, Like the reason

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Speaker 1: that we got to the top of the mountain is

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Speaker 1: because I was doing all of these things. So what's

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Speaker 1: gonna happen when I stopped doing these things? When I

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Speaker 1: stopped needing to support or thinking that I need support,

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Speaker 1: When I stopped doing the things that I know helped

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Speaker 1: me walk to my day with a good attitude or

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Speaker 1: the energy that I need when I do the things

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Speaker 1: that allow me to rest, when I do the things

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Speaker 1: that allow me to all that, you're going to fall

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Speaker 1: down the mountain. If we stop doing the things that

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Speaker 1: make us feel better and more full and more human

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Speaker 1: and more alive, then eventually we're going to go back

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Speaker 1: to where we started. I get why that's tough and

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Speaker 1: why we don't want that to be true, because it's

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Speaker 1: like this, does the work ever end? But like it

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Speaker 1: kind of doesn't. We just got to keep doing those things.

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Speaker 1: We don't just need help. In value moments number seven.

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Speaker 1: Conflict is necessary to build intimacy. If there's no conflict

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Speaker 1: in a relationship, then somebody's not being honest. I'll just

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Speaker 1: say that, if there's no it's never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,

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Speaker 1: ever ever any conflict in a relationship, somebody is not

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Speaker 1: being either transparent or honest or vulnerable. And there's no

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Speaker 1: way that two people never have one ounce of conflict

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Speaker 1: if they're both being fully themselves. And I say this

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Speaker 1: knowing that conflict isn't bad. It's an opportunity to know

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Speaker 1: someone deeper and learn, just like we learn from our

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Speaker 1: value moments, right, And I love this idea that I

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Speaker 1: ran into. This could be a whole another point, but

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna put it in here that like, what makes

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Speaker 1: a relationship strong isn't how compatible and like perfect you

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Speaker 1: are together, but how you handle incompatibility, like when those

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Speaker 1: things do come up when you do disagree. It's not

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Speaker 1: really about oh, we just fit perfectly because we are

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Speaker 1: a perfect match, because like perfect does not exist in

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Speaker 1: the world. It's oh, we know we are not perfect,

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Speaker 1: and in our imperfection we have the ability to sit

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Speaker 1: and work through and be in that stuff together. So

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Speaker 1: conflict is necessary to build intimacy. If I want to

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Speaker 1: know somebody deeper, I have to allow them and I

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Speaker 1: have to allow myself to be fully vulnerable. If I

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Speaker 1: want intimacy, I have to be vulnerable. Vulnerability invites conflict.

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Speaker 1: Conflict helps us know people deeper. All of that is intertwined.

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Speaker 1: Number eight. If it looks like someone's life is perfect,

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Speaker 1: there is a very high chance it's actually chaotic. And

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Speaker 1: I feel like I don't really need to say a

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Speaker 1: lot here, but like hear me out, I see it all.

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Speaker 1: I see it all, like I see the insides of

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Speaker 1: so many people's lives, and I just needed to trust

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Speaker 1: me here, Like perfect is not a thing. So if

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Speaker 1: something looks perfect, there is a chance that you are

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Speaker 1: either not seeing the full picture or there is a

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Speaker 1: lot of masking going on. And the good news is here,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't really matter because we don't need to identify

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Speaker 1: how good our life is by sizing up someone else's

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Speaker 1: life around us. And I heard Annie f Downs say

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Speaker 1: this on her podcast That Sounds Fun one time, and

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Speaker 1: I just love it so much. She said, if we

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Speaker 1: are deciding if our life is okay by looking at

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Speaker 1: someone else's life, we're always going to come up wanting

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Speaker 1: because we usually look at like the outsides of other

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Speaker 1: people's lives, and we compare our insides to everybody's outsides,

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Speaker 1: and we think that their outsides are perfect, and like,

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Speaker 1: maybe they are. I don't know. That doesn't really make

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Speaker 1: sense to me because perfect and one person isn't perfect

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Speaker 1: to another, and like what it's perfect and all that.

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Speaker 1: But if we are always looking to other people to

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Speaker 1: figure out if we have enough, we're always not going

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Speaker 1: to have enough, because the reality is we all need differences,

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Speaker 1: we don't all need the same. But if you think

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Speaker 1: somebody's life is perfect, I just want you to know

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Speaker 1: you are probably not seeing the whole picture, or you're

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Speaker 1: not seeing clearly. Okay. Number nine, You cannot withdraw your

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Speaker 1: way to connection. And this is a tricky one because

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Speaker 1: I bet more of us do this than we want

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Speaker 1: to admit. But one of the deepest and like most

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Speaker 1: like I guess, universal desires for human beings is the

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Speaker 1: desire to connect, to connect with other people. We all

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Speaker 1: just like want connection and connection heals us. But to

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Speaker 1: get connection, we have to move to we can't move away,

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Speaker 1: and so often we do this thing where we lean

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Speaker 1: away hoping that someone will lean into us. But as

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Speaker 1: we lean away, a lot of times those people either

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Speaker 1: stay where they are or they also will lean away

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Speaker 1: too because they're like sensing your vibe. Right, you can't

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Speaker 1: withdraw your way to connection. That's a very passive, aggressive

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Speaker 1: and just like not honest. It's not vulnerable, and connection

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Speaker 1: is vulnerable. It's not the true way to actually connect

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Speaker 1: to people, connecting to saying hey, I have a need,

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Speaker 1: Hey have a feeling, Hey have a desire. I need

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Speaker 1: you to hear me. It's not rolling over and hoping

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Speaker 1: that the other person will tap you on the shoulder

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Speaker 1: and be like, what's wrong? All right? Number ten, Acceptance

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Speaker 1: can be more healing than love. Love, in fact, is

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Speaker 1: not always the answer. And I know this is crazy, right,

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Speaker 1: It's crazy that I just said that, because we're not

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Speaker 1: taught that. But sometimes it's impossible. Sometimes it's just impossible

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Speaker 1: to love something or someone. It just is. And in

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Speaker 1: those cases when we can't learn to love ourselves or

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Speaker 1: our bodies or somebody else or an experience, we get

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Speaker 1: to choose something else, like there is another option, and

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Speaker 1: that other option is called acceptance. And there actually is

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Speaker 1: a skill called radical acceptance that a woman named Marcia

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Speaker 1: Lenahan has created in her skills that go into this

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Speaker 1: overhead idea of therapy called DPT. It's a whole school

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Speaker 1: of therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, and radical acceptance is one

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Speaker 1: of the biggest skills used inside of that therapy process.

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Speaker 1: And the truth is it's very very very very very

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Speaker 1: exhausting to fight reality, Like it's very exhausting, and then

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Speaker 1: also it doesn't work, Like we can't just like fight

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Speaker 1: reality and then win and be like reality is not reality.

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Speaker 1: I win, like, no, you can't actually change reality. And

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Speaker 1: I also confine myself trying to do this sometimes like

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Speaker 1: this can't be true, this isn't whatever. I have to

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Speaker 1: learn to do this or I have to do that.

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Speaker 1: But refusing to accept reality doesn't make our pain go away.

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Speaker 1: It just ends up turning our pain into suffering. So

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna say that again, refusing to accept reality doesn't

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Speaker 1: make our pain go away. It just turns our pain

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Speaker 1: into suffering. So this skill of radical Upton's is very

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Speaker 1: helpful in situations when you can't change reality and you

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Speaker 1: can't change how you feel about reality. And radical acceptance

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Speaker 1: does not mean that you agree with what's happening or

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Speaker 1: what has happened to you. Rather, it just signals like

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Speaker 1: an opportunity for hope because you are accepting things as

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Speaker 1: they are and not fighting. So if you want to

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Speaker 1: learn more about radical acceptance, you honestly could google it

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Speaker 1: and find a lot of good information on it. Um

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Speaker 1: If you search Marsha Lenehan, a bunch of stuff will

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Speaker 1: come up. DBT is awesome. So if you're in therapy,

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Speaker 1: you can like ask your therapist I want to learn

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Speaker 1: more about this. Most therapists know at least a baseline

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Speaker 1: amount of DPT because their skills can be universal even

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Speaker 1: if you don't practice solely DBT. And maybe we'll do

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Speaker 1: a whole episode on that as well. One day. We're

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Speaker 1: going to do this podcast forever, I've decided, so we

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Speaker 1: have a lot of episodes so I can use whatever

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Speaker 1: topics that I need to use. Number eleven. Sometimes things

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Speaker 1: don't make sense, and that's the point period. One of

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Speaker 1: the biggest encouragements I would like to give to any

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Speaker 1: and all human beings is do not attempt to understand

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Speaker 1: why a dysfunctional or very unhealthy person does what they do.

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Speaker 1: Just understand that it's dysfunctional understand that they're not healthy,

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Speaker 1: and then put a period to actually figure that out

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Speaker 1: can sometimes be super damaging because at the same time,

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Speaker 1: you're trying to rationalize certain behaviors that can't be rationalized.

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Speaker 1: For example, when people ask questions like why did this

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Speaker 1: happen to me? When talking about like abuse or trauma

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Speaker 1: and stuff like that, it sends a message that your

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Speaker 1: abuse has something to do with you, and it can

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Speaker 1: be explained and it can make sense to you, and

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Speaker 1: abuse just can't make sense. It's not okay. And I

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Speaker 1: know we want to make sense of things because it

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Speaker 1: tells us, like in our heads, if I can make

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Speaker 1: sense of this, I can understand it, and then maybe

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Speaker 1: I won't feel this way. But I think it's very

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Speaker 1: empowering to know that there are certain things that don't

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Speaker 1: make sense because they're so messed up. So sometimes things

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Speaker 1: don't make sense. And that's just the point number twelve.

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Speaker 1: Behavior is a symptom, not the problem, and this is

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Speaker 1: where the idea of focusing on the cause, not the symptom,

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Speaker 1: comes in when it comes to addiction, especially I am

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Speaker 1: relentless here. I did an episode on addiction awhile ago

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Speaker 1: that I highly suggest listening to. And there's this genius

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Speaker 1: man named Gabor Mate who I talk a lot about

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Speaker 1: on that episode, and he illustrates this idea perfectly when

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Speaker 1: he speaks about how addiction is looked at in our

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Speaker 1: society because we look at humans and we say like,

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Speaker 1: why are you doing this? Why are you smoking? Why

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Speaker 1: are you drinking? Why are you're doing these drugs? Why

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Speaker 1: are you watching this? Or why why do you keep

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Speaker 1: doing that? And it's like, well, maybe that's not the

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Speaker 1: question we need to be asking, because maybe that behavior

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Speaker 1: is not actually the problem, and it's a symptom of

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Speaker 1: a bigger problem. And so the question we might want

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Speaker 1: to ask instead of like why the addiction is why

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Speaker 1: are you in so much pain? So behavior is a symptom,

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Speaker 1: it's not the problem. And I think if we can

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Speaker 1: own that for ourselves and other people, it can allow

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Speaker 1: us to be so much more loving and carrying towards

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Speaker 1: ourselves and accepting. If that's what you n you don't

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Speaker 1: actually have to work hard to be who you are.

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Speaker 1: You have to work hard to stop being who you

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Speaker 1: aren't just let that one sink in being ourselves actually

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Speaker 1: comes very naturally. It's the other stuff that clouds are

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Speaker 1: are being and and clouds our relationships, and it clouds

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Speaker 1: our thoughts. That fear of not being able to control

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Speaker 1: being loved or understood or being loved by certain people

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Speaker 1: really screws with our ability to show up. So we

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Speaker 1: develop all of these things, whether their behaviors or thoughts

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Speaker 1: or ways we show up, and all of the ways

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Speaker 1: we look, ways we dress. We develop all these things

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Speaker 1: and attempt to get what we all truly want love, connection, acceptance, belonging.

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Speaker 1: And then these like become like coats of armor almost

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Speaker 1: and and and so it's it's not so hard to

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Speaker 1: be you. That's a natural thing. If you took the

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Speaker 1: coats of armor off, there you'd be. But it's hard

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Speaker 1: to take this coats of armor off because if I

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Speaker 1: take this off, what's going to happen? What won't I get?

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Speaker 1: What won't I have? And the question I would even

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Speaker 1: ask here to like transform that what won't I get?

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Speaker 1: What well when I have? Is what is my armor

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Speaker 1: keeping me from? What's my armor keeping me from? If

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Speaker 1: I was created on purpose, for a purpose, with purpose

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Speaker 1: the way I was for a purpose, but then I

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Speaker 1: put all this armor on, I don't show up with

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Speaker 1: that as that human. There's something that I'm like, probably

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Speaker 1: not getting because the creation I was created as doesn't

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Speaker 1: get to show up. But it's really really hard and

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Speaker 1: scary to take that stuff off. And so people I

408
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Speaker 1: hear people say all the time like I don't know

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Speaker 1: who I am, or it's hard to be who I am,

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Speaker 1: and or it's hard to show up as authentic, And

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know if that's the thing that

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Speaker 1: we need to look at. I think it's hard to

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Speaker 1: let go of the things that we've put on top

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Speaker 1: of who we are. Number fourteen. It is truly never

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Speaker 1: too late. Honestly, I want to make this one short

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Speaker 1: and simple, because the thing here is unless you're dead,

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Speaker 1: you still have time. That that applies to anything. Unless

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Speaker 1: you're dead, you still have time. And there are so

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Speaker 1: many things in our lives that we are like, oh,

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Speaker 1: my time is passed. I can't do that. It's too

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Speaker 1: late for this, it's too late for that. And it's

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Speaker 1: like when we see this all the time, the time

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Speaker 1: is going to pass. You're moving in so like you

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Speaker 1: might as well use it to do what you want

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Speaker 1: to do, or or be he want to be, or

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Speaker 1: say what you want to say that time is going

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Speaker 1: to move, so do you want to move with it

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Speaker 1: or do you want to kind of stay like almost

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Speaker 1: like holding yourself back. But it is never too late,

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Speaker 1: never too late to go to therapy. It's never too

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Speaker 1: late to to work on yourself. It's never too late

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00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:19,439
Speaker 1: to get back to school. It's never too late to

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00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,639
Speaker 1: think about starting a job. It's never too late to

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00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:24,520
Speaker 1: start a new hobby. It's never too late you could

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00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:27,480
Speaker 1: be And you're like, I want to learn how to

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00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,240
Speaker 1: play the piano. It doesn't mean that you're going to

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00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,760
Speaker 1: be like incredible piano player, but you can learn maybe,

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00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:35,640
Speaker 1: which brings us to number fifteen. We made it all

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Speaker 1: the way to the end. This is one of my

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Speaker 1: favorite things ever. So I know I said in the beginning,

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00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,000
Speaker 1: like I can't rank these, but like, this is one

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00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,080
Speaker 1: of my favorite things in the whole entire world. And

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00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:47,919
Speaker 1: it is this simple, simple, simple idea and truth in

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00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:52,040
Speaker 1: fact that you cannot heal what you refuse to acknowledge.

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00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:53,800
Speaker 1: And I say this one of our last because as

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00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:55,880
Speaker 1: simple as it sounds, it's one of the most important

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00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:58,200
Speaker 1: things I think we can learn to hold on and

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00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:01,200
Speaker 1: plant inside of our beans that we can't heal things

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00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:04,600
Speaker 1: that we aren't acknowledging. We can't tend to wounds that

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00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:08,240
Speaker 1: we pretend aren't there. And it's hard and it's scary,

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00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,040
Speaker 1: I know, to acknowledge stuff, to acknowledge pain, it's scary,

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00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:14,440
Speaker 1: But remember us not acknowledging pain doesn't make it go away.

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00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 1: It just turns our pain into suffering. So I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: leave you with that one because I think it's so powerful,

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00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,480
Speaker 1: And maybe you think about, like, what are the things

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00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:26,000
Speaker 1: that I'm refusing to acknowledge that like actually deserves some healing,

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00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 1: And maybe if I give myself that healing, it might

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00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:31,200
Speaker 1: be easier for me to take some most armor off

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00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,960
Speaker 1: and then I can beat myself. Is that part? You

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00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:37,920
Speaker 1: already have the structure to do be yourself. So there

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00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:41,560
Speaker 1: are my fifteen things I learned on my journey of

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00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,919
Speaker 1: being a therapist. And maybe we'll do a part two

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00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:48,240
Speaker 1: one day, because this list will continue to grow till

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Speaker 1: the end of time and change, and I might change

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00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 1: my mind on some of them because we're allowed to

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00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:55,600
Speaker 1: do that. As humans. We are allowed to change our minds,

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00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:58,480
Speaker 1: which gets to go on the list. But I hope

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00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 1: that was helpful for you. Guys, and I think that

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00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 1: you guys could also be making these kinds of lists

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00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,440
Speaker 1: like you could also. I mean, this is a human thing,

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00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:08,200
Speaker 1: so you're moving through life, You're also learning things about

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00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 1: humanity and yourself and all of that. So this could

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00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 1: be a little encouragement to start your own little list

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00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,119
Speaker 1: of things I've learned from being a human being. If

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00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:17,879
Speaker 1: you have any questions, remember you can always email me

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00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,880
Speaker 1: Catherine at You Need Therapy podcast. You can follow me

477
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,720
Speaker 1: at cat dot de fata or the podcast at you

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00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:28,560
Speaker 1: Need Therapy podcast on Instagram. I love when you guys

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00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:30,199
Speaker 1: connect with me on there, and I love when you

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00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,400
Speaker 1: guys send me emails and questions and all of that.

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00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,880
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna leave you with that, and I hope

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Speaker 1: you guys have the very day you need to have,

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00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:39,880
Speaker 1: the very week you need to have, And I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: go have the Monday that I need to have. By guys,