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Speaker 1: Two hopeless daters. One dating app then dares you swipe right.

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Speaker 2: The question is whose love life is more tragic.

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Speaker 3: It's Battle Love the Tender Dates.

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Speaker 4: It's the dating game show that strongly encouraged a Laddin

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Speaker 4: to Scotch guard that magic carpet, but he didn't listen.

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Speaker 4: It's Battle the Tender Dates, where two of our listeners

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Speaker 4: go head to head to find out whose dating life

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Speaker 4: is the most tragic. We'll explain the rules in just

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Speaker 4: a second, but first let's meet today's contestants. In this corner,

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Speaker 4: his seductive party trick is d shelling an entire lobster

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Speaker 4: inside of his mouth. WHOA, yeah, that's why the ladies

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Speaker 4: call him seafood trio Leo.

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Speaker 1: Hey, what the guard there? I don't know, but.

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Speaker 3: Hope nobody's allergic to shellfish.

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Speaker 4: And in the other corner, he swears he has a

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Speaker 4: sick motorcycle parked just outside. It's just invisible, right, Meet Harley, Charlie.

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Speaker 1: Hey, Hey, how's it going? Yeah? Hey, you need to

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Speaker 1: wear a helmet on that bike, Charlie needed.

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Speaker 3: The game works.

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Speaker 4: One contestant is going to start by telling one of

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Speaker 4: their worst dating stories. Then the other will try and

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Speaker 4: counter with the nightmare story of their own. We're going

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Speaker 4: back and forth for three rounds till we declare a winner.

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Speaker 4: We're gonna start things off with you seafood trio Leo.

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Speaker 1: Let's go all right. So I was hooking up with

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Speaker 1: this chick. We were making out when she stopped. She

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Speaker 1: told me that she saw a bald spot on the

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Speaker 1: back of my head.

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Speaker 4: Oh oh, how could she see the back of your

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Speaker 4: head when you're making out?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they felt it. Then, I don't know, some weird stuff, man,

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Speaker 3: go on.

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Speaker 1: She said that meant that i'd be bald by thirty,

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Speaker 1: and she doesn't date bald guys. So she left.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry, my friend, I'm sorry. I don't old guys.

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Speaker 3: And one day you're gonna be seventy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. Was maybe just an excuse to leave.

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Speaker 1: But ever since I've been buying special hair product.

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Speaker 3: Okay, that's all right.

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Speaker 1: She gave you a complex, but you know you may

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Speaker 1: have sicker hair because.

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Speaker 3: Of it, Charlie, can you count?

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Speaker 2: So we were at the movies right for our first date.

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Speaker 2: Eight thing going smooth. Her phone accidentity went off. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: the screen lights up and I can see my tender

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Speaker 2: profile like her wallpaper on her phone.

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Speaker 3: Your picture.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, first date though, let's keep in mind.

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Speaker 3: Maybe she just.

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Speaker 1: Needs it as a reminder what your name is? That

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Speaker 1: was super ugy?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, round two, Leo, Time to hit back.

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Speaker 1: I met the smoking hot lady who's a spinning instructor,

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Speaker 1: and you know, spin instructures are always smoke shows. And

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Speaker 1: she invites me to her class. So I show up

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Speaker 1: as she puts me in the front row, which is

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Speaker 1: intimidating enough as it is. Yeah, and then five minutes

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Speaker 1: in she comes over and sets my bike on the

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Speaker 1: highest resistance and tells me if she sees me turn

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Speaker 1: it down, it's over between her man challenge. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: at what point in the class did you just pass out?

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Speaker 1: I'm just standing up, trying to grind on this thing,

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Speaker 1: and I point at the door to distractor and turn

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Speaker 1: it down, and she caught me.

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Speaker 3: You're two weaks for her.

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Speaker 1: She called me out in front of everyone over the

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Speaker 1: microphone and told me to get out.

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Speaker 4: Why does everybody you date like come after.

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Speaker 3: You, Charlie. We're back to you. Got to step it up, man,

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Speaker 3: all right?

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Speaker 2: So I was dropping this girl off after the day, right,

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Speaker 2: everything went smooth. I'm leaving to go home. She calls

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Speaker 2: me and she asked me to come inside. She says,

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Speaker 2: you know, she's scared to be alone. So I'm like cool,

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Speaker 2: I'm feeling like, you know, this is my chance, Belly,

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Speaker 1: What I'm talking about. And on her part, I.

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Speaker 2: Go back inside.

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Speaker 1: When I get there is a man.

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Speaker 3: Did whoa what?

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Speaker 1: Wait, like her roommate or something.

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Speaker 2: Please tell me. No, She sneaks and tells me he

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Speaker 2: didn't know he was in there. It was her boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: He got back home early from his trip.

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Speaker 3: Oh what a jerk coming back home early. I hate that. Guys.

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Speaker 3: Get to your third and final round. We need you

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Speaker 3: to really throw down here, gentlemen. So seafood trio leo,

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Speaker 3: what do you got?

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Speaker 1: My tender day invited me to go furniture testing testing.

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking she wants to check couches out or something.

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Speaker 3: You know, Okay, yeah, you got to sit on them before.

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Speaker 2: You buy it.

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Speaker 1: You just never know, maybe a little love seat or something.

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Speaker 1: But no, no, no, no. We get to the store and

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Speaker 1: I found out she meant baby furniture testing because she's

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Speaker 1: eight months pregnant.

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Speaker 3: Oh amazing that she has the energy.

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Speaker 4: For me for that.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, she's like, I'm so glad you hear my

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Speaker 3: back hurt.

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Speaker 1: It gets worse, it gets way worse. She's looking for

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Speaker 1: a crib and asked if I could crawl into one

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Speaker 1: to let her know if the baby would be comfortable.

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Speaker 3: How big of a baby is she planning on having?

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Speaker 1: Or how.

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Speaker 3: Can't ride a bike.

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Speaker 4: To act like a baby, Harley jar Chance boy.

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Speaker 2: All right, we was e in at one of those

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Speaker 2: outdoor restaurants, you know you sit outside and just relax.

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Speaker 2: It was a beautiful day I'm talking about. It was

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Speaker 2: just perfect. She was beautiful, the date was cool. If

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Speaker 2: everything was small. A bird pooped on my date's.

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Speaker 4: Head, sounding good luck though, yeah, it's people just say

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Speaker 4: that to make you feel better.

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Speaker 1: What she do.

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Speaker 2: So she seemed upset at first, right, and I told her,

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Speaker 2: you know, like we could just we could just leave,

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Speaker 2: you know, and just end it off. But she told

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Speaker 2: me that her therapist encouraged her to start to face adversity,

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Speaker 2: you know, and be tough and deal with things. Okay, okay,

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Speaker 2: So we sat there for another half hour. She tried

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Speaker 2: to eat, but she was crying, not coming out eight.

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Speaker 3: With the bird poop still on the hay. She didn't

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Speaker 3: clean it all.

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Speaker 4: All right.

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Speaker 3: That final means the match is over. This was an

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Speaker 3: intense one. Judges, we gotta score at Alexis. I gotta

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Speaker 3: go Leo for crawling into Baby Crab. We got one

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Speaker 3: for Leo. Brooke, I mean bird poop Girl. I feel

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Speaker 3: bad for her, but it's definitely Leo. Congratulations Seapoo Trio.

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Speaker 4: Leo, you're dating like is messier than a cafeteria on

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Speaker 4: Sloppy Joe Day.

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Speaker 3: I think he's crying just being nice to me.

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Speaker 4: Bullied once again. That was battle with the tender dates.

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Speaker 4: We got your phone tab coming up

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Speaker 1: Right after this, Freaking Jeffrey in the morning.