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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that just started a phobia clinic

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Speaker 1: specifically for people who are afraid of heights. The only

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Speaker 1: issue is the best rent he could get was a

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Speaker 1: penthouse on the seventy eighth floor in New York City.

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Speaker 2: So doesn't have a ton of clients yet.

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Speaker 1: I mean he does, but they're all still down in

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Speaker 1: the lobby wait to come up. Yeah, it's a Laser Stories.

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Speaker 1: It's a segment where we read weird news stories around

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Speaker 1: the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got

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Speaker 1: a laser.

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Speaker 2: Those other skycriers just gon't.

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Speaker 1: This first Laser Stories out of Nebraska, a twenty four

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Speaker 1: year old man named Pete Naber walked into a quick

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Speaker 1: Shop convenience store and demanded all the money in the register.

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Speaker 2: I'm number and I'm here to rob you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Well that's when the employee did a double take

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Speaker 1: because Naber had a hostess cinnamon rolls box covering his

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Speaker 1: right hand over his hand.

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Speaker 3: Like so instead of a pirate with a hook, he

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Speaker 3: was a man with a doughnut hand.

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Speaker 1: Well, the clerk was worried he might have a gun

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Speaker 1: in that box, so he asked him, what have you

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Speaker 1: got in there? I'm guessing it's not cinnamon rolls.

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Speaker 4: So he's trying, and Nabber answered.

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Speaker 1: Well, Nobber didn't blink or answer him. Instead, he just

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Speaker 1: demanded the money again, so the clerk handed over the

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Speaker 1: cash from the register.

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Speaker 4: He wasn't in his right mind. He was on a

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Speaker 4: sugar high, obviously.

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Speaker 1: Well, it didn't take long for police to track Noobber

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Speaker 1: down on foot, and that's when they searched him and

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Speaker 1: found a handgun, the cash, and a decent amount of

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Speaker 1: meth o. He ate the donuts When he was putting handcuffs,

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Speaker 1: the cops asked him, what was the point of the

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Speaker 1: hostess box if you already had a gun? Yeah? His

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Speaker 1: answer turns out, when you're high on meth, you're not

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Speaker 1: sure what you're doing. So Nobber don't believe he didn't

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Speaker 1: even realize he had.

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Speaker 2: A box on his hands. It must have been stuck

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Speaker 2: there from weeks ago.

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Speaker 4: Do you think he's ever like, oh God, really, that's embarrassing.

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Speaker 2: Ringe.

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Speaker 1: He was arrested on multiple felon accounts including robbery, possession

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Speaker 1: of a controlled substance, and use of a deadly weapon.

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Speaker 4: Clog your arteries with those things.

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Speaker 1: Next, the story is out of Holy what trimony AI.

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Speaker 1: You either hate it or love it so much you

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Speaker 1: want to marry it.

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Speaker 2: I like the images of the cute kids that they

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Speaker 2: generated and.

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Speaker 3: Keep sharing those with me, and they creepy out.

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Speaker 1: But I say marry it, because that's exactly what a

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Speaker 1: Spanish woman named Alicia Framis is doing.

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Speaker 2: She's said to become the first.

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Speaker 1: Woman in the world to get married to an AI

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Speaker 1: generated hologram. Seriously, the hologram is called Ailex or Alex Alex.

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Speaker 3: Oh I get it, Alicia and Alex. I mean it

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Speaker 3: does have a cue little like couple.

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Speaker 1: Names, and the ceremony will also be a piece of

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Speaker 1: performance art to post questions around new forms of companionship.

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Speaker 4: Deeper meaning well hold on.

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Speaker 2: I mean think about it.

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Speaker 1: As long as something makes you feel good and supports

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Speaker 1: you in life.

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Speaker 3: And he'd win every argument, you know, because you could

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Speaker 3: program it that way, ye or yeah.

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Speaker 1: Alicia is an artist, but she says she's not doing

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Speaker 1: this just for the fame or the Instagram followers. She

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Speaker 1: says her only motivation is real love, oh cute by

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Speaker 1: marrying a not real thing, you know, Alicia says there

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Speaker 1: are many unknowns as she prepares to marry a hologram.

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Speaker 1: For example, she wonders if she'll be able to open

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Speaker 1: up a joint bank account with her hologram.

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Speaker 3: Hubby pretty much rules if you can't actually hold their

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Speaker 3: physical hand, then maybe that won't work.

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Speaker 2: How would he type in the pin number to me?

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Speaker 2: How many money in his account? It's true?

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Speaker 4: What is he like working on the side it as

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Speaker 4: a celebrities.

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Speaker 1: This is not the artist's first piece of experimental performance art.

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Speaker 1: After she previously lived for a year with a mannequin

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Speaker 1: named Pierre, so at.

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Speaker 4: Least the holler could talk back again. How is it

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Speaker 4: less weird?

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Speaker 2: That's more normal. Let's just say that relationship with Pierre

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Speaker 2: did not work out.

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Speaker 4: Back in the department story.

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Speaker 1: Next the stories out of Oregon, a woman just made history.

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Speaker 1: Her name is Jenny dou Vander, and she holds the

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Speaker 1: new Guinness World Record for widest tongue circumference. The official

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Speaker 1: measurement comes in at five point two one inches around,

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Speaker 1: which makes it bigger than a soda can a giant strawberry.

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Speaker 3: I mean, honestly, we're looking at a picture right now,

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Speaker 3: and the way she has her tongue position, it looked

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Speaker 3: like she'll never be able to close your mouth again.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, real, you can go see that photo that I'm

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Speaker 1: showing everybody on her insta stories at Brook and Jeffrey

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Speaker 1: if you're into.

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Speaker 2: That type of thing.

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Speaker 1: So how did the record happen in the first place, Well,

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Speaker 1: she said her son encouraged her to apply after he

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Speaker 1: told his mom, hey, your tongue is weird looking.

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Speaker 4: Checks out.

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Speaker 1: So other than that, she says, the subject of it

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Speaker 1: only comes up when people are comparing tongue tricks, which

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Speaker 1: happens all the time.

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Speaker 2: She's like, you can do the clover, I can do

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Speaker 2: a whole forest. And she does find her huge tongue

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Speaker 2: to be very useful, because I bet she does. Don't

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Speaker 2: go there.

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Speaker 1: It's because she's a flute player, okay, and a strong

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Speaker 1: tongue is great for playing fast notes on a front.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So fly to the bumble coming up?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the stories out of trend Town. If you want

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Speaker 1: to be cool, you got to act like you just

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Speaker 1: don't care. But only to a point. I say that

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Speaker 1: Kazara is now selling women's pants called wrinkle effect jeans.

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Speaker 4: So they look wrinkly.

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Speaker 1: So what are wrinkle effect jeans? Well, basically they look

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Speaker 1: like they've been balled up in the corner of your

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Speaker 1: bedroom for over a month. And the best part, or

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Speaker 1: maybe the worst part I really can't tell anymore with

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Speaker 1: this is you cannot iron the wrinkles out.

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Speaker 3: They look like jeans that I had in the year

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Speaker 3: two thousand. They're like kind of shiny, kind of thin,

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Speaker 3: and you would say, what are you wearing tonight jeans

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Speaker 3: and a cute top?

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Speaker 1: You know, But when the ring I'm saying wrinkly, we

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Speaker 1: mean literally every square inch of the fabric is completely wrinkled,

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Speaker 1: and they're supposed to look like that. Social media is

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Speaker 1: having a field day with comments like it's like the

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Speaker 1: jeans I forgot I had when I found them at

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Speaker 1: the bottom of my wardrobe, and one person jokes, someone

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Speaker 1: who hates folding laundry definitely.

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Speaker 2: Came up with these.

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Speaker 4: Good point there, it's gonna be ironic if they're dry

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Speaker 4: clean onman.

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Speaker 3: Iron Yeah, I got it, I got it.

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Speaker 1: I liked it regardless if perpetually wrinkled gens somehow sounds

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Speaker 1: good to you. They're on Zara's website right now for

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Speaker 1: seventy bucks. A few of the sizes are already sold out, though.

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Speaker 4: Oh you can always get a coupon for that website.

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Speaker 4: So on that story, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I want to know when is this little fashionista gonna

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Speaker 1: come up with a signature piece.

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Speaker 2: Oh wait, that's right.

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Speaker 1: In twenty thirteen, he dropped Latex bodysuits for Amphibs.

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Speaker 2: That's strussed, limited edition.

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Speaker 4: Yeah no, no wrinkles there no, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Still a collector's item, know, and that sounds lays of

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Speaker 1: stories has come to an end for the day.

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Speaker 2: We'll do it again, same time on Monday

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Speaker 4: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.