1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,360
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

2
00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,680
Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcast and we have

3
00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:08,840
Speaker 1: some foundational stories coming up for you. But the thing is,

4
00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:12,440
Speaker 1: this foundation needs a little support from these sponsors. So

5
00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:15,400
Speaker 1: stick around two minutes we'll get into the episode.

6
00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:20,040
Speaker 2: I cheated on my girlfriend, but everyone took my side.

7
00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:22,600
Speaker 3: Uh weird flex I.

8
00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:26,360
Speaker 2: Male nineteen met my girlfriend, female eighteen through a mutual

9
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,319
Speaker 2: club in college. At that time, I definitely did not

10
00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:31,840
Speaker 2: look or dress the best, and I was starting to

11
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:34,120
Speaker 2: work on myself for the first time in my life

12
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,040
Speaker 2: through the gym, skincare and putting myself out there, but

13
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,840
Speaker 2: I had a long way to go. When I saw

14
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,560
Speaker 2: her for the first time, I instantly fell in love.

15
00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:46,040
Speaker 2: I couldn't stop thinking about her and was super excited

16
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,800
Speaker 2: to get closer to her. However, at the time, she

17
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:51,440
Speaker 2: had a boyfriend and I didn't want to come off

18
00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:54,040
Speaker 2: as weird or anything, so I kept my distance. And

19
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:57,120
Speaker 2: by the way, this comes from user poor Pickler one

20
00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,280
Speaker 2: two three, and if you want to submit your own stories,

21
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,280
Speaker 2: go to the r slash sho Okay Storytime subreddit. I'm Dakota,

22
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,920
Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Keon and weird to give good advice goofily,

23
00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:07,679
Speaker 2: but we don't have all the answers. We just know

24
00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:10,440
Speaker 2: what we would do, so if you would do something different,

25
00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:14,280
Speaker 2: let us know in the comments. Still, we became very

26
00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:17,160
Speaker 2: good friends and eventually hung out all the time. At

27
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:20,800
Speaker 2: this time, her relationship with her boyfriend was deteriorating and

28
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:24,000
Speaker 2: we were getting closer and closer. One night, when I

29
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:26,560
Speaker 2: was tipsy, she asked me if I liked her. Long

30
00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,640
Speaker 2: story short, we ended up hooking up for the first time.

31
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:33,319
Speaker 2: It was an exhilarating feeling. I still didn't look that

32
00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:36,000
Speaker 2: great and hadn't received that kind of attention from a

33
00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:40,760
Speaker 2: genuinely attractive woman in my whole life, and I was ecstatic.

34
00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:43,240
Speaker 2: After all, the girl of my dreams had just gotten

35
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:46,520
Speaker 2: with me over her own boyfriend. I felt like a king,

36
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:49,360
Speaker 2: and we got along great, like I could really see

37
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:53,240
Speaker 2: this girl as one I married. We did everything together,

38
00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,800
Speaker 2: liked the same stuff, and she was genuinely, very beautiful.

39
00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,440
Speaker 2: Everything I had thought I wanted in a woman she had.

40
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,560
Speaker 2: I was completely in love, But as time went on

41
00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:05,360
Speaker 2: her mental health spiraled. She still refused to break up

42
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,320
Speaker 2: with her boyfriend, giving him chances over and over again.

43
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:11,440
Speaker 2: This made me frustrated because we also were hooking up

44
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:12,360
Speaker 2: multiple times.

45
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,680
Speaker 3: Suck, you both suck.

46
00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:20,200
Speaker 2: Everybody sucks in the story so bad?

47
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, makes sense why together?

48
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,080
Speaker 2: I really wanted her to break up with him so

49
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,960
Speaker 2: I could be in a relationship with her. Eventually, she

50
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:30,080
Speaker 2: did break up with him and said that she really

51
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:34,399
Speaker 2: liked me but couldn't do a relationship. Being naive and oblivious,

52
00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:37,400
Speaker 2: I was totally okay with that. In my head. People

53
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:40,000
Speaker 2: always said that, but it would only be a matter

54
00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:43,040
Speaker 2: of time before she would come around and we'd start dating.

55
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,520
Speaker 2: Except I was wrong. I grew up in a pretty

56
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:49,120
Speaker 2: traditional household with pretty traditional friends, so the concept of

57
00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:51,920
Speaker 2: claiming to like someone while sleeping around with others was

58
00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:54,640
Speaker 2: completely foreign to me. It didn't make sense to me.

59
00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:56,720
Speaker 2: Why would someone say they like you and hook up

60
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,560
Speaker 2: with other people? So when it happened the first time,

61
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,000
Speaker 2: I was devastated. It was at a party that I

62
00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:04,280
Speaker 2: myself was at. I asked her if she wanted to

63
00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:07,200
Speaker 2: go home, but she said no. When I asked her why,

64
00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:09,520
Speaker 2: she looked me in the eyes and said that she

65
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:13,320
Speaker 2: was going to be busy tonight. I couldn't believe it.

66
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:16,560
Speaker 2: When I asked more. She nearly laughed it off. Needless

67
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,680
Speaker 2: to say, I was absolutely crushed. I hid it from everyone,

68
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,480
Speaker 2: and she ended up going back home with a guy

69
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,200
Speaker 2: she had met that night and hooked up with him

70
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:26,200
Speaker 2: the next morning. I threw up a few times. I

71
00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:28,399
Speaker 2: really thought that I would be in a relationship with her,

72
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,280
Speaker 2: but I guess not. I talked to her because we

73
00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,440
Speaker 2: were in a mutual friend group, and after we talked,

74
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:36,560
Speaker 2: I realized that she had no obligation to only talk

75
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,400
Speaker 2: to me, so she was free to do what she

76
00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:42,000
Speaker 2: wanted anyways. Knowing that didn't change that it hurt like crazy.

77
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,640
Speaker 2: Then two days after that, I asked her to have

78
00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:47,480
Speaker 2: lunch with me. She said yes. Then we were sitting

79
00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:50,200
Speaker 2: next to each other in the library. When I looked

80
00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:52,360
Speaker 2: over at her computer, I saw her texting a guy

81
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:55,200
Speaker 2: asking if he had showered and if his apartment was free.

82
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,040
Speaker 2: Then she got up and said that she had a

83
00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,840
Speaker 2: commitment and left, skipping our lunch. Turns out she hooked

84
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,880
Speaker 2: up with that guy. She didn't text me for a

85
00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:03,040
Speaker 2: few hours. Brother.

86
00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,760
Speaker 3: Just to be clear, what is the relationship status.

87
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,920
Speaker 2: Their relationship status is nothing.

88
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:11,080
Speaker 3: Exactly nothing. She said, I don't want to be in

89
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:14,600
Speaker 3: a relationship with you, dude. You have literally no say here.

90
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,120
Speaker 2: I went to the gym and hit the boxing bags

91
00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:20,039
Speaker 2: with my bare knuckles. It hurt physically because I felt

92
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,400
Speaker 2: I deserved it. Why was I letting a woman like

93
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:25,760
Speaker 2: this control me? After seven hours, she contacted me again,

94
00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:27,960
Speaker 2: asking me to come over, and I did. We ended

95
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,240
Speaker 2: up hooking up, and then I sat and talked with

96
00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:32,479
Speaker 2: her for a few hours. When she went to the bathroom,

97
00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:34,480
Speaker 2: her phone was open, and I realized within the span

98
00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,240
Speaker 2: of those seven hours, she had also hooked up with

99
00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:38,640
Speaker 2: that guy from the party. I left without saying a word,

100
00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,400
Speaker 2: and she called me a few times, but I didn't

101
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,160
Speaker 2: pick up. The next morning, I asked to come over

102
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,560
Speaker 2: to get my stuff and was planning on ending it

103
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:48,600
Speaker 2: for good. When I got there, she was crying and

104
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,720
Speaker 2: zooted out of her mind. She said she was struggling

105
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,039
Speaker 2: with substance use in her mental health, and that she

106
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:56,640
Speaker 2: had been struggling earlier that day. I came closer to

107
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,520
Speaker 2: her to check her wrists and bandage her arms, and

108
00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,280
Speaker 2: took her to the hospital. As I was sitting in

109
00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:02,400
Speaker 2: the hospital, I noticed marks on her neck, and I

110
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,920
Speaker 2: hadn't seen those earlier. I assumed it was some form

111
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:07,000
Speaker 2: of struggling and sat in the hospital for five hours

112
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,120
Speaker 2: waiting to see what would happen. Eventually, we ended up

113
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,560
Speaker 2: coming back home and she started crying again. Apparently after

114
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,839
Speaker 2: I had left, she'd called her ext and hooked up

115
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,000
Speaker 2: with him again. I couldn't believe it. I used to

116
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,800
Speaker 2: truly love this girl. No you didn't, God, no you

117
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,560
Speaker 2: got No you didn't, though you really didn't.

118
00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,440
Speaker 3: Obsessed with the idea of her.

119
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,040
Speaker 2: It meant the whole world to me that she had

120
00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,360
Speaker 2: liked me, but the fact that she was so easily

121
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,440
Speaker 2: getting close to these people broke me inside. I was

122
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,000
Speaker 2: about to leave when she made me wait and promised

123
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,160
Speaker 2: that she would be exclusive with me from now on,

124
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,359
Speaker 2: and that she really needed me in her life because

125
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,839
Speaker 2: she was scared she might not handle things well again.

126
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:40,800
Speaker 2: This is the first time I liked a girl like this,

127
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:42,960
Speaker 2: Even though she had caused me so much pain, I

128
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,000
Speaker 2: decided to try and believe in her and help her

129
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:48,320
Speaker 2: get better, no matter the cause. She also began having

130
00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:51,000
Speaker 2: lung problems at this time. Every other week I would

131
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,080
Speaker 2: take her to the hospital and sit there while she

132
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,719
Speaker 2: was getting check ups. When I would hang out with

133
00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:56,960
Speaker 2: my friends, and she would ask me to come back

134
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,640
Speaker 2: because she was scared for mental health. I came back

135
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,120
Speaker 2: most out of caring, but also because I didn't want

136
00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,320
Speaker 2: her to hook up with anyone else if I wasn't

137
00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:08,400
Speaker 2: there immediately. It was an absolutely awful situation. Yeah, my

138
00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,640
Speaker 2: grades dropped, my social life was falling apart, and I

139
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,760
Speaker 2: was solely living to help her get back on her feet.

140
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:17,080
Speaker 2: Every day after class, I'd come home and check on her,

141
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:20,239
Speaker 2: making sure she hadn't done anything drastic, or just sat

142
00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:22,280
Speaker 2: with her and made her feel needed. Most of her

143
00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:24,160
Speaker 2: friends at this point had abandoned her, so it was

144
00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:27,200
Speaker 2: just me and her and two of her very close friends.

145
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:30,160
Speaker 2: This went on for a month until one day she

146
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,200
Speaker 2: told me that she couldn't be with me anymore because

147
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,200
Speaker 2: she felt bad that I was doing so much and

148
00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:36,440
Speaker 2: she wasn't giving anything in return, and that she needed

149
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,160
Speaker 2: to heal on her own. I desperately tried to explain

150
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:40,640
Speaker 2: to her that I could be a part of that

151
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,080
Speaker 2: we didn't need to end things. She said she needed

152
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:46,320
Speaker 2: space and to be independent, and that after a few

153
00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:49,320
Speaker 2: months we could try again. I was shattered. I asked

154
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,400
Speaker 2: her for one promise, and that was to keep to

155
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:53,599
Speaker 2: her word and really work on herself and not be

156
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,120
Speaker 2: with random people like that again, and to stop mis

157
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:59,520
Speaker 2: using certain things. When she agreed, I left and we

158
00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,760
Speaker 2: stopped sharing locations and just tried to exist as friends.

159
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,680
Speaker 2: I could barely eat or do anything without crying. It

160
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:09,160
Speaker 2: was genuinely awful. You guys just both need help. You

161
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:14,239
Speaker 2: guys both se contented. You're the first time genuinely attractive girl,

162
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:18,160
Speaker 2: which is already a crazy so weird is into you,

163
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,520
Speaker 2: and you're like, I'm gonna give my whole life to

164
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:24,520
Speaker 2: this other person. Absurd. We still talked here and there,

165
00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,640
Speaker 2: but now as friends, and I felt as if I

166
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,320
Speaker 2: had thrown away that previous semester of helping her for nothing.

167
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,520
Speaker 2: I went to a party that weekend and nearly had

168
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,840
Speaker 2: a panic attack on the porch, zooted out of my

169
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,920
Speaker 2: mind and completely intoxicated. I called her and texted her

170
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:38,760
Speaker 2: several times for help because I had no one to

171
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,920
Speaker 2: go to any more about it, but got nothing back.

172
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,880
Speaker 2: If it wasn't for another girl, What a bright idea

173
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:47,000
Speaker 2: that is, I suspect I would have felt really lost

174
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,480
Speaker 2: that night. A day later, she was driving me back

175
00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:52,160
Speaker 2: home from the library, she told me she needed to

176
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,720
Speaker 2: tell me something. That night, when I had called her,

177
00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,120
Speaker 2: she wasn't thinking clearly and ended up getting close to

178
00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:00,120
Speaker 2: someone she had just met on Tinder. I couldn't believe it.

179
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,440
Speaker 2: Are you sure? It sounds like she just wants to

180
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:06,680
Speaker 2: have casual things with other people that aren't you, and

181
00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:11,160
Speaker 2: then that's fine, that's okay as one you're both teenagers.

182
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:13,480
Speaker 4: As one big anime character says, believe it.

183
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,280
Speaker 2: I wanted to stop talking to her and yell at her,

184
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,520
Speaker 2: but I couldn't. I went to my apartment and cried

185
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:21,520
Speaker 2: for hours, wondering where everything had gone wrong. I had

186
00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:23,600
Speaker 2: given up so much for her, and in two days

187
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,800
Speaker 2: she had already been with someone else she barely knew.

188
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,320
Speaker 2: Then she called me, and like a complete idiot, I

189
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,680
Speaker 2: responded and talked to her.

190
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:30,040
Speaker 5: Oh.

191
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:32,680
Speaker 2: She said that she had gotten her diagnosis back earlier

192
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,520
Speaker 2: that morning, and that she was going through a tough

193
00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:36,880
Speaker 2: time with her feelings, which sometimes caused her to act

194
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:38,600
Speaker 2: in ways that weren't good for her. Said she didn't

195
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:41,040
Speaker 2: roll into a mental health institution, and begged me for

196
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:44,200
Speaker 2: another chance. I ended the call and sat there, not

197
00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:47,480
Speaker 2: knowing what to do, for four days. She came to

198
00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:51,200
Speaker 2: my apartment in the morning, cooked breakfast and talked to me,

199
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,240
Speaker 2: and because deep down I still loved her, I talked back.

200
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,680
Speaker 2: She started doing things she never did before and promised

201
00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:59,079
Speaker 2: me that she would do absolutely everything in her power

202
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,240
Speaker 2: to make me comfortable with her again. She showered me

203
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,800
Speaker 2: with complimentds, bought me things, and she was very open

204
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,800
Speaker 2: about people who were trying to talk to her or

205
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,000
Speaker 2: get close to her. As time went on, I became

206
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,439
Speaker 2: more and more convinced that I could eventually forget all

207
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,959
Speaker 2: the horrible things she did and take her back. Months

208
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:16,200
Speaker 2: passed and I finally felt ready, and we got back

209
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,680
Speaker 2: into a relationship. Things seemed great. People didn't know of

210
00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:21,920
Speaker 2: the things she had done because I hadn't told anyone.

211
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,960
Speaker 2: They saw us as that couple. As for me, my

212
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,360
Speaker 2: style got better. I looked much better, and I got

213
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,920
Speaker 2: into very good shape. I had a tremendous glow up

214
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,000
Speaker 2: with her. People would come up and say how proud

215
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,520
Speaker 2: of me they were for how far I had gotten,

216
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,200
Speaker 2: especially compared to before, and for a bit I bought

217
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,439
Speaker 2: into it. This was what I had dreamed of with her.

218
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:40,960
Speaker 2: People loved us as a couple, and she finally loved me.

219
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,959
Speaker 2: She truly, at that point was the perfect girlfriend. I

220
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,560
Speaker 2: could not have asked for more, but the scars from

221
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:49,400
Speaker 2: the past still hurt. Anytime I heard the word hook

222
00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:51,679
Speaker 2: up with or saw it written out, I would get

223
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,400
Speaker 2: flashbacks to the text messages I had read that night

224
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,880
Speaker 2: between her and the random guys. So you need to

225
00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,080
Speaker 2: break up with her, you need to not be dating her,

226
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,080
Speaker 2: you need to not be dating period. Every time I

227
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,959
Speaker 2: saw one of them in public, I felt deeply humiliated

228
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,240
Speaker 2: and a shame. I tried to fight it for years,

229
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,680
Speaker 2: but it always stuck deep down. The woman I loved

230
00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:11,160
Speaker 2: had spent time being close with these other guys on

231
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:14,319
Speaker 2: a whim, all while claiming that she had loved me. Obviously,

232
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:17,640
Speaker 2: I'm aware that completely ethically speaking, she technically hadn't done

233
00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:19,719
Speaker 2: anything wrong, but still I would wake up at night

234
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:22,040
Speaker 2: with full blown panic attacks, not being able to breathe

235
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,560
Speaker 2: and throwing up. It was an absolutely disgusting feeling, and

236
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,720
Speaker 2: I couldn't shake it off. But still I put my

237
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,720
Speaker 2: heart and soul into that relationship as much as I could.

238
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:32,080
Speaker 2: I planned and paid for our dates, got her many

239
00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:35,040
Speaker 2: gifts throughout the relationship, and most importantly, spent time with

240
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:37,600
Speaker 2: her whenever I could. In fact, I ended up practically

241
00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,440
Speaker 2: moving in with her. At one point, to the rest

242
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:40,960
Speaker 2: of the world, we were the couple that would make

243
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:44,200
Speaker 2: it past college, and I truly believed that too. Months

244
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,640
Speaker 2: went by until I decided to study abroad for the summer.

245
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,559
Speaker 2: I was excited, but also a little nervous. My girlfriend

246
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,440
Speaker 2: was also a little nervous, but I believed it was

247
00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:54,120
Speaker 2: because of the long distance I ended up going abroad,

248
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,920
Speaker 2: and suddenly things got weird. I was never met with

249
00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:59,960
Speaker 2: the same enthusiasm over text. The calls weren't as frequent,

250
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,280
Speaker 2: and she never complimented me anymore or tried to make

251
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,760
Speaker 2: me feel good. I would do it constantly, but even

252
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,000
Speaker 2: when I asked, I would be met with laughter and

253
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,280
Speaker 2: that I was being too dramatic. I started getting in

254
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,760
Speaker 2: my head again, what if she started seeing someone else?

255
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:17,840
Speaker 2: What if she didn't love me anymore? And so I

256
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:21,880
Speaker 2: kept trying over text and call. Meanwhile, at study abroad,

257
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,280
Speaker 2: I mentioned I had a pretty good physique. This one

258
00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:27,280
Speaker 2: girl began to openly show interest to me, and regrettably

259
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,880
Speaker 2: I didn't stop her. We talked a lot, and it

260
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:32,040
Speaker 2: felt really good to talk to someone who felt like

261
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,240
Speaker 2: they really cared about me. We talked more and more.

262
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,000
Speaker 2: My girlfriend got even more distant. I assumed that once

263
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:39,880
Speaker 2: we got back, things would figure themselves out. One day,

264
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:42,720
Speaker 2: I posted my physique on my social media's because I

265
00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:44,600
Speaker 2: was proud of how I looked for the past few months.

266
00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:46,720
Speaker 2: The girl from the study abroad sent me a picture,

267
00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:49,240
Speaker 2: replying to it and said, open this when you're alone.

268
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:51,680
Speaker 2: I faced a moral dilemma that I now feel was

269
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:54,840
Speaker 2: God testing me. Should I open it or not. Eventually

270
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:56,920
Speaker 2: I gave in, and literally as soon as I opened it,

271
00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:59,000
Speaker 2: I got a call from my girlfriend. She was breaking

272
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:01,199
Speaker 2: up with me. I couldn't believe it.

273
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,480
Speaker 4: I said, you passed.

274
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:03,840
Speaker 6: Wow.

275
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,000
Speaker 2: I guess in a way God was testing you, and

276
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,360
Speaker 2: you passed.

277
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:09,800
Speaker 4: And failed at the same time. I don't know how

278
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:10,200
Speaker 4: you do it.

279
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:13,000
Speaker 2: I was so heartbroken and was devastated. Yes, I made

280
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:16,160
Speaker 2: a small mistake, but the reason she was breaking up

281
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,040
Speaker 2: was not even because she found out. It was because

282
00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:21,839
Speaker 2: of the long distance. I was shocked. All of our

283
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,600
Speaker 2: friends and everything, all the dreams that we had made,

284
00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:26,640
Speaker 2: all the suffering I had put myself through to make

285
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,240
Speaker 2: things work, it was all for absolutely nothing. At the end,

286
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:31,880
Speaker 2: she ultimately gave up on me. I argued for a bit,

287
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,720
Speaker 2: but ultimately I saw it from her eyes. She was

288
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,960
Speaker 2: done and I had just lost my multi year relationship.

289
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:41,640
Speaker 2: Unsor our mutual friends heard, they all stopped talking to her.

290
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,679
Speaker 2: I never told them anything about the above, about what

291
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:47,200
Speaker 2: she put me through, or about you cheating on her,

292
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,560
Speaker 2: but it was well known by everyone around us that

293
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,280
Speaker 2: I was a good boyfriend to her and that I

294
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:54,400
Speaker 2: had really cared about her. All of them viewed her

295
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,920
Speaker 2: as callous and ungrateful, and that she didn't put in

296
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:59,319
Speaker 2: the same effort that I had to save this relationship.

297
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:01,480
Speaker 2: She ended up having no friends and left the school

298
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,400
Speaker 2: more alone than when she came. To this day, no

299
00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,480
Speaker 2: one knows about the study of broad Girl, even my

300
00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:07,600
Speaker 2: ex girlfriend. And that's the end of that story.

301
00:13:07,679 --> 00:13:09,760
Speaker 4: You mean the internet, You mean then.

302
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:13,080
Speaker 3: We all know. We all know that you freaking are

303
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,360
Speaker 3: a cheater and you suck.

304
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:18,400
Speaker 5: My husband accused me of cheating and claims that our

305
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,240
Speaker 5: son isn't his Well.

306
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,080
Speaker 2: Good news, there's a test for that, buster.

307
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,679
Speaker 5: I female thirty four, have been married to my husband,

308
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,120
Speaker 5: male thirty six for almost seventeen years, and we've been

309
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:29,400
Speaker 5: together for almost twenty. We have two kids and our

310
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:32,200
Speaker 5: relationship has always been strong. It was rocky when we

311
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,959
Speaker 5: were younger as we navigated becoming adults while raising a baby,

312
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,480
Speaker 5: but we never had issues with cheating that I was

313
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:40,480
Speaker 5: aware of. Recently, he told me that he wanted more kids,

314
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,240
Speaker 5: which I already knew, but I was waiting for the

315
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,640
Speaker 5: right time. By the way, this comes from fun Spring

316
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:46,720
Speaker 5: sixty five ninety seven, and if you want to submit

317
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:47,959
Speaker 5: your own stories, go to the.

318
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,640
Speaker 3: R slash Okay. Story time is Sepreddits and I'm.

319
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,240
Speaker 2: Angie, I'm Dakota, I'm.

320
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:54,840
Speaker 6: Sophia, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully, but

321
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:57,439
Speaker 6: we don't have all the answers. We're only going to

322
00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:59,360
Speaker 6: guess what we would do in this situation. But let

323
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:02,360
Speaker 6: us know what you do in the commons down below. Oh,

324
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:03,199
Speaker 6: peace sets.

325
00:14:03,679 --> 00:14:06,480
Speaker 5: We have been doing great, spicy sleep is great, and

326
00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:09,000
Speaker 5: we generally have fun together as a couple. I was

327
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:12,199
Speaker 5: recently accepted into medical school. Although it wasn't the school

328
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,440
Speaker 5: we wanted, it's only a couple of hours away. He

329
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,480
Speaker 5: has always been supportive on this journey. We talked about

330
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,800
Speaker 5: how I would have to stop working to take full

331
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,760
Speaker 5: time courses and I was the one with the higher income.

332
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,560
Speaker 5: Oh boy, we made it work, and he was supportive

333
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:26,360
Speaker 5: and encouraging.

334
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,040
Speaker 3: As a dad, he's amazing.

335
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,280
Speaker 5: He's loving, attends their school events, and is attentive. But

336
00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:33,800
Speaker 5: since I was pregnant with my son, who's about to

337
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:37,040
Speaker 5: turn twelve, I always noticed he was slightly more distant

338
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,440
Speaker 5: and colder towards him, till he generally treats them the same.

339
00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:43,360
Speaker 5: My son was hospitalized about two years ago, and I

340
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,160
Speaker 5: saw how much he meant to him. He was there

341
00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,880
Speaker 5: all seven days with him and me, never leaving.

342
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,320
Speaker 3: We were in a really good place.

343
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:52,200
Speaker 5: This week, we went to see my new school, hung out,

344
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,680
Speaker 5: and took my son to an amusement park. On Saturday,

345
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:56,720
Speaker 5: my daughter had gone out with friends. They had a

346
00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:58,920
Speaker 5: great time together since I couldn't go on many rides

347
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:02,080
Speaker 5: with them. That night, we were watching TV and talking

348
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,680
Speaker 5: about how when my daughter was young, we had gone

349
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:07,800
Speaker 5: to a concert. Then the conversation shifted to who else

350
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:11,000
Speaker 5: I had been with spicily and I said no one. Ever,

351
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,320
Speaker 5: he insisted that I had been with someone else. He

352
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,840
Speaker 5: started saying how one time, when we had our first place,

353
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,800
Speaker 5: I came home smelling like spicy sleep. He asked me

354
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,480
Speaker 5: about it and I said it was nothing, and he

355
00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:24,760
Speaker 5: was trippic. He said, he was like, Okay, sure, fine,

356
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,080
Speaker 5: I don't remember this at all, but I know for

357
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,680
Speaker 5: a fact that I've never been with anyone before him

358
00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:31,040
Speaker 5: or while I've been with him.

359
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:35,160
Speaker 3: Nothing. I kept denying it. He then asked, did you

360
00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:36,800
Speaker 3: ever sleep with Dan?

361
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,880
Speaker 5: He was talking about someone who was one of his

362
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,840
Speaker 5: friends growing up that I knew. I was shocked and

363
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:45,800
Speaker 5: then taken by surprise. He went off and said how

364
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:47,920
Speaker 5: Dan had spent a few days in our place and

365
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:51,160
Speaker 5: he thinks based on some things he saw that we

366
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:52,400
Speaker 5: had spicy sleep.

367
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,680
Speaker 2: This is like the biggest like red flag, Like this

368
00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:57,280
Speaker 2: guy clearly cheated on you with like a bunch of

369
00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:00,200
Speaker 2: people or something. Yes, because you just don't act this

370
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:03,200
Speaker 2: way if you aren't like actually just like super guilty

371
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:05,160
Speaker 2: on the inside, right, and you're just like trying to

372
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,000
Speaker 2: put it on your partner. You're like, no, it's actually

373
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,920
Speaker 2: but you did You did it too, right, You did it.

374
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,920
Speaker 5: He said that this was around the same time I

375
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,440
Speaker 5: became pregnant with my son, and he's always thought that

376
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:14,640
Speaker 5: it was Dan's kid.

377
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:16,600
Speaker 3: I was shocked.

378
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,680
Speaker 5: I never would have thought that he suspected I had

379
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,240
Speaker 5: anything to do with someone else, let alone.

380
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,080
Speaker 3: That friend I didn't even remember existed.

381
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,640
Speaker 5: My son loves an ocean animal that happens to be

382
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:29,320
Speaker 5: the same nickname that Dan went by. So my husband said, yeah,

383
00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:31,600
Speaker 5: and you also buy him shirts and toys.

384
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,920
Speaker 3: About that animal. And I was like, what he likes

385
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:36,080
Speaker 3: that animal? I didn't even think about this.

386
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:39,600
Speaker 5: My husband was calm the whole time. I've seen him

387
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:42,520
Speaker 5: mad and I know how he acts, but he wasn't mad,

388
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:46,360
Speaker 5: just serious. He said he wasn't reproaching anything, but wanted

389
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,760
Speaker 5: to know the truth. I was crying the whole time

390
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:50,680
Speaker 5: because I felt like I was in trouble for something

391
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:53,280
Speaker 5: I didn't do. I told him I wouldn't accept something

392
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,600
Speaker 5: I didn't do because I didn't do it. Then I

393
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,440
Speaker 5: said that I was going to do a paternity test

394
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,120
Speaker 5: on my son because I don't wanted to have the

395
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,440
Speaker 5: slightest doubt. He said no, but I said I would

396
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,720
Speaker 5: because I don't want this in his mind. After I said,

397
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,359
Speaker 5: I don't know where we go from here, and he said,

398
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:10,040
Speaker 5: everything stays the same.

399
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:15,640
Speaker 2: You're not the one who gets to decide that unilaterally, Buddy.

400
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:20,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I was confused, What do you mean the same?

401
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,840
Speaker 5: I asked him if everything we've lived these years was

402
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:24,359
Speaker 5: real or if it was just a face that he

403
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,840
Speaker 5: was putting up. He was surprised, I asked, and asked

404
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,560
Speaker 5: me what I felt it was. Honestly, I don't think

405
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,879
Speaker 5: it's fake. I think what we have is real. But

406
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:33,719
Speaker 5: I don't know how he can bring this up and

407
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,720
Speaker 5: everything can be the same. I asked him if he

408
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:38,479
Speaker 5: had ever done anything with anyone else in revenge, and

409
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:41,040
Speaker 5: he said no. He's a really bad liar, so I

410
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,560
Speaker 5: can usually tell when he's not being truthful, but he

411
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:47,640
Speaker 5: seemed honest. His work schedule is very typical. He's home

412
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,919
Speaker 5: every day at the same time. At the end of

413
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:53,159
Speaker 5: the night, he hugged, kissed me and said, regardless of

414
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,119
Speaker 5: what it was, you are my woman, my wife, and

415
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:59,840
Speaker 5: I said, no, it's not regardless because I didn't do anything,

416
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,240
Speaker 5: and that night he's still cuddled with me and hugged

417
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,560
Speaker 5: me like he normally does. Yesterday, I told him we

418
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,680
Speaker 5: needed to talk and clarify this because I don't want

419
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,439
Speaker 5: him to resent me for something I didn't do. My

420
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,600
Speaker 5: fear is that he holds that against me and then

421
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,879
Speaker 5: does something and says, I can't say anything because I

422
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,800
Speaker 5: already did something. I told him this. I said that

423
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:19,360
Speaker 5: I can't live with this doubt about worrying that he's

424
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:20,080
Speaker 5: going to cheat.

425
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,320
Speaker 3: Then he said he's been living with this doubt.

426
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,840
Speaker 5: I told him I don't want him to hate me,

427
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,080
Speaker 5: and I don't want to throw this away for something

428
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,360
Speaker 5: that didn't happen. I said, if it were true, then

429
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:32,000
Speaker 5: I would accept it, apologize, and go from there. But

430
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:33,240
Speaker 5: that's not the case.

431
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:33,680
Speaker 3: I said.

432
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,520
Speaker 5: I wanted him to believe me, and he said the

433
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,920
Speaker 5: reasons he had were evidence to him. He also said,

434
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:42,320
Speaker 5: but if you said no, then okay, that is all

435
00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:44,359
Speaker 5: the doubts I had. He then hugged me tight and

436
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,080
Speaker 5: said that even if I had said I did do something,

437
00:18:47,119 --> 00:18:49,000
Speaker 5: he wouldn't have left me. The rest of the day

438
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,320
Speaker 5: he was more serious, but still trying to talk and

439
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:54,240
Speaker 5: still being affectionate. I asked him, why, why, if that's

440
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,720
Speaker 5: what he thinks happened, didn't he leave me? If he's

441
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,639
Speaker 5: so sure, how is it possible he didn't cheat on me.

442
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:02,280
Speaker 5: I had a messed up upbringing, and he knows that.

443
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:02,920
Speaker 3: He knows.

444
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:05,399
Speaker 5: I need him to hug me, kiss me look for me,

445
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:09,399
Speaker 5: and he knows that I can't feel rejected that unalives me.

446
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:13,120
Speaker 5: I ordered the paternity test. It arrives today and I'll

447
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,880
Speaker 5: send it out so he can see. But it makes

448
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,879
Speaker 5: me feel really sad that he thinks that I betrayed

449
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,000
Speaker 5: him because I didn't do it.

450
00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:20,760
Speaker 3: I know how much it would unallow me to feel

451
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:21,480
Speaker 3: he would have.

452
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:23,760
Speaker 5: Done something like that. What do I make of all this?

453
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:26,880
Speaker 5: I'm so confused. I don't even have anyone to talk

454
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,959
Speaker 5: to about this. My husband is very non confrontational. He

455
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:32,320
Speaker 5: rarely gets really upset, and if he does, he just

456
00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:33,159
Speaker 5: stays quiet.

457
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:35,000
Speaker 3: I know he keeps emotions in.

458
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,280
Speaker 5: He did say he just needed to get this out,

459
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:38,920
Speaker 5: so I don't know if it was something he was

460
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,119
Speaker 5: holding on to and just now decided to let it

461
00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:43,959
Speaker 5: out because he felt that our relationship was the most stable.

462
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,879
Speaker 3: It's spin. The conversation didn't come completely out of nowhere.

463
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:49,280
Speaker 5: We were watching TV and reminiscing about a concert we

464
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,520
Speaker 5: went to when our daughter was younger. My husband then

465
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,399
Speaker 5: asked if I had ever gone to a concert at

466
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,840
Speaker 5: the same park with a friend of mine who used

467
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:57,960
Speaker 5: to drive a Mustang, who I had already told my

468
00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,800
Speaker 5: husband about way back when we got married. This friend

469
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:02,720
Speaker 5: was in love with me, so I stopped talking to him.

470
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,480
Speaker 5: I said no, and then he suddenly shifted the conversation

471
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,440
Speaker 5: and asked if I had ever slept with anyone else,

472
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,680
Speaker 5: especially or eventually asking about Dan a specifically.

473
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,600
Speaker 2: Again. We're back on this again. We're back on this again.

474
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:15,399
Speaker 3: Come on for context.

475
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:19,600
Speaker 5: When I was about fourteen, I was dating my husband online,

476
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,680
Speaker 5: what we hadn't even met in person. During that time,

477
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,560
Speaker 5: his friend told me a bunch of lies about him,

478
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,080
Speaker 5: and I briefly stopped talking to my now husband and

479
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,640
Speaker 5: dated his friend for like a week just to piss

480
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,440
Speaker 5: him off. We went to a birthday party and saw

481
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,119
Speaker 5: him one day. The most that ever happened was a kiss.

482
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,119
Speaker 5: Then I realized that his friend was lying, stopped talking

483
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:39,680
Speaker 5: to him, and eventually got back with my husband. We

484
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,600
Speaker 5: then met in person and things went from there. My

485
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,800
Speaker 5: husband already knew this, since it happened during our conversation

486
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,400
Speaker 5: the other night. My husband said that he saw how

487
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:52,960
Speaker 5: I used to drool over Dan back then, which wasn't true,

488
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:56,399
Speaker 5: and that his suspicion started when Dan briefly stayed with

489
00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:59,160
Speaker 5: us before I was pregnant. He said there were two

490
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:02,360
Speaker 5: specific things that made him doubt. One time I came

491
00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:05,600
Speaker 5: home smelling like spicy sleep, which I don't remember at all.

492
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:06,760
Speaker 3: Another time, he.

493
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,960
Speaker 5: Stepped out to take the trash, and when he came back,

494
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:13,000
Speaker 5: I was running into our room to change from shorts

495
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,480
Speaker 5: to pants, while his friend was in the kitchen adjusting

496
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,919
Speaker 5: his pants and doing the dishes. Since Dan had just

497
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,720
Speaker 5: recently gotten out of jail, he was in need of

498
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,920
Speaker 5: spicy sleep. Lastly, he said he saw me as someone

499
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 5: who flirts. He brought up or work Christmas party years ago,

500
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,680
Speaker 5: where we greeted a guy who hugged me when saying

501
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:31,720
Speaker 5: hi to me and my friend. Later that night, he

502
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:35,200
Speaker 5: saw that guy dancing and spanking my friend. Years later,

503
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,879
Speaker 5: we found out that this friend actually cheated on her husband,

504
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,240
Speaker 5: So he was like, what's not to say you also

505
00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:40,920
Speaker 5: slept with him.

506
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,120
Speaker 2: I don't know, because I'm not I'm not that, I'm

507
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,560
Speaker 2: not hurt. I don't know. Are you confused on who

508
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:48,359
Speaker 2: your wife is? Did you think you were married to

509
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 2: the woman who cheated on her husband, because that's not

510
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 2: who you were. You were married to me.

511
00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:55,960
Speaker 5: The paternity test kit arrived, but when I handed it

512
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,439
Speaker 5: to him. My husband declined, He said he doesn't need it,

513
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,520
Speaker 5: that bringing it up was more about finally voicing something

514
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:03,160
Speaker 5: that he had kept in for two longs.

515
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,760
Speaker 2: He's like, no, I don't want solutions. I just want

516
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,600
Speaker 2: to complain like a little baby and make it and

517
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:09,560
Speaker 2: make it your fault.

518
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:11,800
Speaker 5: I truly believe this doubt may have stemmed from something

519
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,080
Speaker 5: Dan said years ago to one of our mutual friends.

520
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,960
Speaker 5: Dan has a history of dishonesty and manipulation, so it

521
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,920
Speaker 5: wouldn't surprise me if a careless comment planted a seed

522
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 5: that grew over time, then with what he thinks he saw,

523
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,560
Speaker 5: he put it all together in his mind. But that

524
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:28,040
Speaker 5: doesn't excuse the pain. This post, like anything online, only

525
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 5: shows a fraction of the full story. Real relationships, especially

526
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:34,200
Speaker 5: long term ones, are not all black and white. While

527
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 5: this moment has been incredibly difficult, there's also been so

528
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:39,679
Speaker 5: much love, growth, and support in our life together, especially

529
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,640
Speaker 5: for our kids. It's impossible to label someone as good

530
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,560
Speaker 5: or bad based on one chapter. I've said before that

531
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 5: I noticed a difference in my husband's relationship with my son,

532
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,160
Speaker 5: and I want to clarify it wasn't neglect or distance

533
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 5: but more of that subtle tension that can happen when

534
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,199
Speaker 5: a dad feels left out when his son grows very

535
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 5: close to their mom. It wasn't harmful, but looking back,

536
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:00,840
Speaker 5: I can see how important it is that they continue

537
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,639
Speaker 5: strengthening their bond. He said he wants to repair this,

538
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 5: and so do I. But no, things are not back

539
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:06,919
Speaker 5: to normal.

540
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 3: They won't be.

541
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 5: Until we've worked through this in counseling and had the hard,

542
00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:14,480
Speaker 5: honest conversations. Therapy is now a priority for us, not

543
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,560
Speaker 5: just for our relationship, but for the well being of

544
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,399
Speaker 5: our family. We both agree that we owe it to

545
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,320
Speaker 5: each other and our kids to try and fix it

546
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:21,680
Speaker 5: before walking away from.

547
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:22,480
Speaker 3: Something we've built together.

548
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:24,800
Speaker 5: To those who asked, yes, I've always had a very

549
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:26,160
Speaker 5: close and loving relationship with.

550
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 3: My in laws. Still this is something only he and

551
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:29,480
Speaker 3: I can work through.

552
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:32,520
Speaker 5: And yes, for those wondering I'm still going to medical school,

553
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,879
Speaker 5: There's no way in heck I won't go after all

554
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,680
Speaker 5: the hard work I've done to get there. I didn't

555
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 5: make it this far to just make it this far.

556
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 5: Nothing changes that. Whether he's beside me or not, I'll

557
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 5: walk this path. I love my family, but I love

558
00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 5: my kids enough to protect our peace and grow through

559
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 5: whatever we need to. I'm also self aware enough to

560
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,679
Speaker 5: admit that I struggle with in security. I check in often,

561
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:54,640
Speaker 5: track locations, and yes, I need a lot of reassurance

562
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:58,000
Speaker 5: and relationships. So while I know anything is technically possible,

563
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 5: I've never seen a sign of cheer.

564
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,280
Speaker 3: I'm not naive, but I know myself.

565
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,520
Speaker 5: I'm not someone who's easy to lie to, and I've

566
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:05,920
Speaker 5: always trusted my instincts.

567
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 2: Dude, you know what's crazy is I swear to God,

568
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:10,879
Speaker 2: it's like ninety percent of the people who say that

569
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:14,360
Speaker 2: are the easiest people to lie to on the planet. Yeah,

570
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 2: and it's because they have that, They already hold the

571
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:19,720
Speaker 2: notion that they're like, oh, I can always tell when

572
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:22,480
Speaker 2: someone's lying. So then the people that lie to you

573
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,200
Speaker 2: get away with it all the time because you don't

574
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 2: know they're lying to you, but in your heart, you're like, oh,

575
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 2: I would have been able to tell ye yeah.

576
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 3: Yeah.

577
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:32,679
Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

578
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,679
Speaker 2: on to the next one. I secretly had feelings for

579
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 2: my wife's cousin and now she wants me too.

580
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:43,360
Speaker 3: Looks like you gotta crush.

581
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,880
Speaker 2: I thirty male have been married to my wife twenty

582
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 2: nine female for four years. No kids yet, but our

583
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:52,560
Speaker 2: life together is solid. She's everything you'd want in a partner, kind, supportive, funny,

584
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 2: and genuinely good hearted. I love her deeply and wouldn't

585
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,440
Speaker 2: trade our life for anything. By the way, this comes

586
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:01,399
Speaker 2: from users silver Scallion. I'm fifty three eighty five and

587
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:02,879
Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

588
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,720
Speaker 2: the r slash okay story. I'm suburn It, I'm Dakota.

589
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:08,119
Speaker 4: I'm Angie, and I'm Keon and we here to give.

590
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 2: Good advice goofily, but we don't always have all the answers.

591
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:12,440
Speaker 2: We only know what we would do, So if you'd

592
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,960
Speaker 2: do something different, let us know in the comments. We

593
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:18,720
Speaker 2: share the same values, love spending lazy sundays binge watching

594
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:22,160
Speaker 2: nature documentaries, and she has this effortless way of making

595
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 2: me laugh when I'm having the worst day. She's stunningly

596
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 2: beautiful and my best friend. I've always felt like we

597
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 2: were meant to find each other. Oh, but there's this

598
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:34,160
Speaker 2: thing I've been carrying with me since the very beginning.

599
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 2: Six years ago, I met my wife at a planetarium.

600
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 2: We ended up chatting after the show and I was

601
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 2: immediately drawn to her. She gave me her number, and

602
00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 2: I walked out that night feeling like I just met

603
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:49,440
Speaker 2: someone special. Here's the cherry on top. Her cousin, thirty female,

604
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,880
Speaker 2: picked her up after the show. My wife introduced us

605
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,760
Speaker 2: briefly as she got in the car. I only saw

606
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 2: her cousin for maybe thirty seconds, but something about her

607
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:01,880
Speaker 2: just stayed with me. When I saw her cousin again

608
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,720
Speaker 2: at a family gathering months later, it all clicked. She

609
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:09,680
Speaker 2: had this magnetic energy, confidence, sharp, bena, a little mysterious.

610
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:11,919
Speaker 2: We made small talk, and it turns out we had

611
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,119
Speaker 2: a lot in common. That was the first time I

612
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:17,720
Speaker 2: felt the twinge of what if. Since then, I've only

613
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 2: seen her at family events. It's always been perfectly normal

614
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 2: and cordial, never inappropriate. But I'd be lying if I

615
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 2: said I didn't think about her more than I should.

616
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:27,879
Speaker 2: There's always been this nagging thought in the back of

617
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 2: my mind, wondering how different things might have been if

618
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 2: I'd met her cousin first. Now here's where things take

619
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:36,360
Speaker 2: a turn. Her cousin has recently fallen on hard times,

620
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:39,680
Speaker 2: job loss, personal struggles, trying to get back on her feet.

621
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 2: My wife being the generous person she is, suggested we

622
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:44,640
Speaker 2: open our home to her cousin for a few months

623
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 2: while she sorts things out. I haven't said yes or

624
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 2: no yet. I've played it cool and supportive because objectively

625
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:55,679
Speaker 2: it's reasonable and compassionate, but internally I'm freaking out. So

626
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,359
Speaker 2: I'm terrified of what this might stir up. I know

627
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 2: I love my wife and have no intention of jeopardizing

628
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:02,720
Speaker 2: our marriage, but the idea of living under the same

629
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,119
Speaker 2: roof as her cousin being around her every day is

630
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:08,399
Speaker 2: making me confront feelings I've spent years trying to bury.

631
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 2: I don't know what to do. Do I just suck

632
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 2: it up and deal with it? Do I bring this

633
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 2: up to my wife and suggest maybe it's not the

634
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 2: best idea. Do I need therapy? I hate myself for

635
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 2: even being in this situation. My wife doesn't deserve this.

636
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 2: She's amazing and I don't want to let her down.

637
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:24,960
Speaker 2: But this whole thing is starting to feel like a

638
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:27,919
Speaker 2: ticking time bomb. Is there any harmless way to approach

639
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 2: this conversation? And there's an update. My wife's cousin moved

640
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:32,200
Speaker 2: in and things got complicated.

641
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:35,199
Speaker 4: No, Wow, didn't see that one coming. Who made it complicated.

642
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 3: What do you know who made it complicated?

643
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:41,200
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, Door's back. I love Dora correg Wait wait,

644
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:44,880
Speaker 4: who was it the husband? Oh hope, I would never

645
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:45,640
Speaker 4: guess that one.

646
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:45,880
Speaker 7: Aw.

647
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,800
Speaker 2: I wasn't expecting to update this, but a lot has

648
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 2: happened since my first post. First thank you to everyone

649
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,479
Speaker 2: who commented. The overwhelming sentiment was that I needed therapy,

650
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:57,800
Speaker 2: not a conversation with my wife about these feelings, and

651
00:27:57,880 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 2: I took that to heart. I started seeing a therapist

652
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 2: couple of weeks after posting every session on Earth's new

653
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 2: layers of guilt, shame, and confusion about my feelings. I've

654
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:08,679
Speaker 2: begun to realize that my attraction to her cousin was

655
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:12,480
Speaker 2: never just about her. It's tied to insecurities, unfulfilled fantasies,

656
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:16,479
Speaker 2: and struggles with commitment. As for the living situation, I caved.

657
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 2: My wife was so earnest about wanting to help her cousin,

658
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,639
Speaker 2: and I couldn't bring myself to say no without raising

659
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,760
Speaker 2: questions I wasn't ready to answer, so her cousin moved

660
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,200
Speaker 2: in about six weeks ago. At first, everything was fine.

661
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 2: Her cousin was polite, grateful, and kept mostly to herself.

662
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 2: I started thinking maybe I had overthought everything. But beneath

663
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:36,200
Speaker 2: the surface, I could feel constant tension. I found myself

664
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 2: hyper aware of her presence, her footsteps in the hallway,

665
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 2: the sound of her voice. I hated how a tuned

666
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 2: I was to her movements, yet I couldn't turn it off.

667
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 2: The first couple of weeks were deceptively smooth. I focused

668
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 2: on maintaining boundaries and keeping interactions brief, but even then

669
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 2: I felt like I was walking a tightrope. Then a

670
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 2: few nights ago, everything changed. It was a Friday and

671
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 2: my wife had gone out with friends from work. Her

672
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 2: cousin and I were both home, and she cracked open

673
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,000
Speaker 2: a bottle of wine after dinner. I wasn't drinking. I've

674
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 2: been trying to be mindful of boundaries, but she seemed

675
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 2: intent on loosening up. We ended up chatting in the

676
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 2: living room, and, for the first time since she moved in,

677
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 2: the conversation veered into personal territory. She talked about how

678
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:16,040
Speaker 2: difficult things had been for her, losing her job, ending

679
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:20,200
Speaker 2: a long term relationship, feeling adrift. I listened and offered encouragement,

680
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 2: but then she said something that made my stomach drop quote,

681
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:26,120
Speaker 2: I just wish I had your wife's life. I tried

682
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:29,560
Speaker 2: to brush it off as a general comment, but she

683
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 2: kept going. She said she envied everything about her cousin,

684
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:36,320
Speaker 2: her stability, her marriage, even the way people gravitated towards her.

685
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:38,520
Speaker 2: And then she looked me straight in the eye and said,

686
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 2: she's so lucky to have you. I wish i'd been

687
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 2: that lucky. That moment hit me like a furreight train.

688
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 2: Her words hung in the air, heavy with implication. I

689
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:51,479
Speaker 2: felt a flood of emotions discomfort, guilt, panic, and a terrible,

690
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 2: fleeting sense of validation. I hated myself for that last part.

691
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:58,960
Speaker 2: I froze before I could respond. She backtracked, mumbling something

692
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 2: about having too much to drink. She excused herself and

693
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:04,200
Speaker 2: went to her room, leaving me sitting there in stunned silence.

694
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:06,000
Speaker 4: She's good to do the how I met your mother thing.

695
00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:08,800
Speaker 2: She acted like nothing had happened. She was cheerful and chipper,

696
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 2: chatting with my wife at breakfast, as if the conversation

697
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,479
Speaker 2: had been wiped from her memory. I couldn't shake it.

698
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:16,280
Speaker 2: Every interaction with her cousin now feels charged, even though

699
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:19,720
Speaker 2: nothing inappropriate has happened. I'm hyper aware of everything, her tone,

700
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:22,160
Speaker 2: her body language, even the way she looks at me.

701
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,479
Speaker 2: I've started avoiding being alone with her, but with her

702
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 2: living here, it's impossible to create total distance. Earlier today,

703
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 2: she brought it up again out of nowhere, that she

704
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 2: wishes she had my wife's life. It put me at

705
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 2: my wits end this point, I don't know what to do.

706
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 2: Therapy is helping me process my own feelings, but the

707
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:41,000
Speaker 2: external circumstances are growing more complicated. Part of me thinks

708
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 2: I need to insist on an exit plan for her cousin,

709
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 2: but that would raise questions with my wife that I'm

710
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:48,560
Speaker 2: not ready to answer. Update two. I asked her what

711
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 2: she meant. Then my wife came home. After reading through

712
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 2: your comments, I decided to speak to her cousin directly

713
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 2: and ask what she meant. I realized some of you

714
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:58,479
Speaker 2: think I'm leaning towards cheating or have poor self control,

715
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 2: but you're wrong. I would never cheat on my wife,

716
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:03,440
Speaker 2: not out of obligation, but out of love, respect, and

717
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 2: self control. The hesitation was because I wanted to tell

718
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:09,360
Speaker 2: my wife everything without hurting her or damaging her relationship

719
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 2: with her cousin. Based on the one sided feelings, things

720
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:15,840
Speaker 2: were awkward between us since her comment earlier. I couldn't

721
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 2: shake it, so I decided to ask her, no build up,

722
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 2: no side stepping, I just said, what did you mean

723
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:23,760
Speaker 2: by what you said earlier? At first, she laughed it

724
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 2: off and blamed the wine and stress, but I pushed.

725
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,960
Speaker 2: I told her it didn't feel casual to me, and

726
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 2: that I'd been carrying the weight of it all evening

727
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 2: and I needed her to be honest. She got quiet

728
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 2: and admitted it. She said she's attracted to me, not

729
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 2: just in a passing way, but emotionally and physically. It

730
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 2: started with admiring the way I treat my wife and

731
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 2: the kind of marriage we have, but over time those

732
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:47,680
Speaker 2: feelings grew into something else. She swore she never meant

733
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 2: to say it out loud and that she's been trying

734
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:52,120
Speaker 2: to bury it, but being around me every day was

735
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 2: making it harder to pretend. I was stunned. I stepped

736
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:57,560
Speaker 2: outside for a bit, read through more of your comments,

737
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 2: and came to a clear conclusion I couldn't keep this

738
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 2: from my wife. There we go, buddy.

739
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 3: Freaking finally, weirde. We got there.

740
00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 2: When my wife got home about two hours later. I

741
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,320
Speaker 2: asked both of them to sit down and told her

742
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:14,480
Speaker 2: that I confronted her cousin what she admitted and how

743
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:17,200
Speaker 2: it made me feel. The silence was deafening. My wife

744
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 2: asked her cousin flat out if it was true, and

745
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 2: she didn't deny it, and that's when it turned into

746
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:25,280
Speaker 2: a full confrontation. No yelling, but you could feel the emotion.

747
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 2: Her cousin even suggested that my wife doesn't fully appreciate

748
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 2: what we have, which led to a heated back and forth.

749
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:34,320
Speaker 2: I stayed silent through it all because honestly, I didn't

750
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:36,720
Speaker 2: want to be there. After some discussion, my wife asked

751
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 2: her cousin to give us space, so she left the

752
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,680
Speaker 2: room and my wife walked upstairs. I went up and

753
00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:44,920
Speaker 2: decided to tell her the full truth, including how I felt,

754
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 2: the fact that I've been going to therapy everything. She

755
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 2: was devastated. She even looked disgusted and defeated and said

756
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 2: she didn't want to continue the conversation. Then I decided

757
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 2: to pull an all nighter in my car. Her cousin

758
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 2: has texted me since asking to speak, but I've ignored

759
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:01,720
Speaker 2: her messages. I couldn't stand feeling like I was holding

760
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 2: this emotional secret from my wife. I did exactly what

761
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:06,960
Speaker 2: most of you and my therapist suggested I not do,

762
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,000
Speaker 2: But I feel so free now. Your therapist suggested you

763
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 2: not to do that. I feel like you had to

764
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 2: have been lying to him in some capacity. Up Day three,

765
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 2: I spoke to my wife and discussed everything. Good Molding

766
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:18,240
Speaker 2: read it. After my last post. I sat in the

767
00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 2: car for a few hours before returning to my room.

768
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 2: My wife was asleep. She was supposed to be in

769
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 2: early at work today but took a wellness day and

770
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 2: I called in a family emergency. We sat down and

771
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:30,480
Speaker 2: she started by saying she appreciated that I had the

772
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 2: integrity to tell her the entire truth when staying quiet

773
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 2: would have been easier. Her issue was that she felt

774
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,400
Speaker 2: like I should have told her before she extended the

775
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:42,160
Speaker 2: invite to her cousin. We've had a similar situation in

776
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 2: the past with a coworker of hers who seemed to

777
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:47,480
Speaker 2: be making moves, but we navigated that much smoother. She

778
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 2: ended up shutting it down and transferring departments. She said

779
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 2: she gets that it's this situation is more complicated because

780
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:55,720
Speaker 2: it's closer to home, but she would have still appreciated

781
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:57,960
Speaker 2: the honest truth before we got to this point. She

782
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 2: was angry and hurt when I dropped two who nukes

783
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:02,760
Speaker 2: on her last night, but appreciated that I brought it

784
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 2: up with both of them there so she could ask

785
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 2: questions without interjection. I explained that I really didn't mean

786
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,319
Speaker 2: to hurt her or drag this out. We had a

787
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 2: bit of a cry and held each other while I

788
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 2: told her I felt like I betrayed her trust by

789
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,759
Speaker 2: being indecisive. She reassured me that she understood why I

790
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,800
Speaker 2: did what I did and didn't expect me to move differently. Apparently,

791
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:21,839
Speaker 2: after I went back to the room last night, her

792
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:23,880
Speaker 2: cousin left and booked to stay at a cheap motel

793
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,200
Speaker 2: for a few nights, leaving a note on the bedroom door.

794
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:28,400
Speaker 2: My wife still wants to continue the status quo so

795
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:31,120
Speaker 2: her cousin can catch herself properly, but I insisted that

796
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 2: while I understand her intentions, boundaries were crossed and I

797
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:36,239
Speaker 2: don't want her around the house much longer. She was

798
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:39,000
Speaker 2: a little annoyed, but agreed I would be annoyed too,

799
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:41,040
Speaker 2: because I'd be like I thought we just worked through

800
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 2: all this. Now you're saying she can't be here. We

801
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:45,440
Speaker 2: just didn't. You just told me the truth, and now

802
00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:47,239
Speaker 2: it's all out in the open and it's fine, we'll

803
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,319
Speaker 2: work through it, but you're like, no, we can't. Both

804
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,719
Speaker 2: my wife and I grew up in extended families, so

805
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:55,440
Speaker 2: our cousins are like siblings. She believes in forgiving mistakes,

806
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 2: but I feel like she's being too naive with her forgiveness.

807
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:01,040
Speaker 2: I love this woman and her optimistic outlook, but I

808
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:04,560
Speaker 2: feel like she's allowing the disrespect to pass without addressing

809
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,720
Speaker 2: it properly. This morning, I decided to call her father

810
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 2: briefly and explain the situation. He told me not to

811
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:12,239
Speaker 2: stress it and that even though I should have had

812
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 2: better timing, honesty was the best policy. We both come

813
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:17,640
Speaker 2: from single parent households that broke due to cheating and

814
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:19,799
Speaker 2: subsequent lies, so it's always been my motto to lead

815
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 2: with the truth, even if it sucks. I failed my

816
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 2: wife and my family by taking so long to speak

817
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:26,759
Speaker 2: about this. My wife and I are okay now, and

818
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 2: she messaged her cousin wanting to talk. That conversation is

819
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:31,440
Speaker 2: supposed to take place tomorrow and that is the end

820
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:32,040
Speaker 2: of that story.

821
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:34,880
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We'll get back to the stories, but

822
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:36,759
Speaker 1: here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

823
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:40,760
Speaker 5: I finally dumped my boyfriend after he made me feel

824
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:41,879
Speaker 5: like his caretaker.

825
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:45,160
Speaker 2: Yeah not his mom. Trigger warning. In this story, there's

826
00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 2: mention of.

827
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,759
Speaker 5: Sa I twenty three female and my partner twenty eight male,

828
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 5: have had a very few issues up until.

829
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:52,080
Speaker 3: Last two ish months.

830
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:56,239
Speaker 5: We're doing extremely long distance. We have met in real life.

831
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 5: He used to go to my high school. We've been

832
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:00,680
Speaker 5: dating for eighteen months now and have I've recently been

833
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 5: talking about end goals. By the way, this comes from

834
00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:06,320
Speaker 5: antisocial system, and if you want to submit your own stories,

835
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 5: go to the r slash Okay. Storytime is Subbreddit and

836
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,240
Speaker 5: I'm Angie, I'm.

837
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 2: Dakota, and I'm Keon, and.

838
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 3: We're here to give good advice Goobally, we don't have

839
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:16,239
Speaker 3: all the.

840
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:19,840
Speaker 5: Answers, not always, not always, but we're gonna try.

841
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:21,920
Speaker 3: We're gonna guess what we would do in these situations.

842
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:23,800
Speaker 3: But if you would do anything different, let us know

843
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:24,560
Speaker 3: down below.

844
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:29,200
Speaker 5: He's currently living in the Northwest of America and has residency,

845
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:32,720
Speaker 5: having recently moved in with his elderly parents.

846
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:34,320
Speaker 3: I'm living in Australia.

847
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:36,800
Speaker 5: We've spoken about where we want to possibly move together,

848
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:39,280
Speaker 5: but he is refusing to move or put any energy

849
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 5: towards our end goal. I'm the only one employed, working

850
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:45,879
Speaker 5: part time while debating on studying hair and medicine. He's

851
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 5: unemployed after being injured while working construction, where his old

852
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 5: company never reported the incident and he didn't either, meaning

853
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 5: he was let go and is getting no compensation or

854
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:56,839
Speaker 5: financial aid.

855
00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:59,719
Speaker 2: Yikes, tough spot, dude. I mean, you'd hope you have

856
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 2: the way with all to at least report that, but

857
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:03,720
Speaker 2: construction can get dicey.

858
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 3: Isn't the reason that he didn't report.

859
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,640
Speaker 2: No, It's like sometimes it's like if you do end

860
00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 2: up doing that kind of stuff, it's like you'll never

861
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:11,279
Speaker 2: get another construction job in the area again, because you're

862
00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:13,400
Speaker 2: like the guy who got aborted the company. It's like

863
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 2: that you know they can run.

864
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 5: You know.

865
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 2: Now, it's not right, but it can happen.

866
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:19,960
Speaker 5: I had to fill out most of the paperwork for

867
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 5: him to apply for both the work incident and for

868
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 5: him to also have a disability pension. I hounded him

869
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:26,880
Speaker 5: to submit it, which he told me that he had

870
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 5: sent in, only to find out a month and a

871
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,319
Speaker 5: half later that he never sent it in.

872
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,840
Speaker 3: He also is complaining that it's taking too long for

873
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:34,200
Speaker 3: me to.

874
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:36,359
Speaker 5: Move to the US, But I think it's unfair that

875
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:39,160
Speaker 5: he expects me to pay for this all by myself,

876
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:42,360
Speaker 5: the flight, visa, passport, in my own accommodation. I was

877
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 5: looking into a ninety day visa to have a court wedding.

878
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:47,959
Speaker 5: Then he'd sponsor me, but even then, his parents don't

879
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:50,520
Speaker 5: want me moving in, even if I marry him. He's

880
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,239
Speaker 5: also refusing to ever move out of his parents' home.

881
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:57,399
Speaker 5: He's always lived with them. I find it exhausting. He's

882
00:37:57,480 --> 00:38:00,800
Speaker 5: always micromanaging my finances. We have zero ROH shared assets

883
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 5: or accounts, complaining how I bought a new keyboard for

884
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:05,360
Speaker 5: my ten year old laptop.

885
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:06,799
Speaker 3: When I moved, since my old one broke.

886
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 5: The keyboard was fifty to sixty dollars AUD, which is

887
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:12,240
Speaker 5: thirty to forty dollars USD.

888
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:13,879
Speaker 3: I've seen his finances.

889
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:17,000
Speaker 5: He's a few thousand dollars in debt, which I would

890
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 5: inherit if we marry. He spends a few hundred dollars

891
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 5: a month on door Dash, Uber eats, and takeout while

892
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:26,279
Speaker 5: complaining when I eat fast food. He's not wanting to work,

893
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:28,799
Speaker 5: refusing to even apply for jobs where he could work

894
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,239
Speaker 5: at home, and he expects me to be the breadwinner,

895
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:34,279
Speaker 5: have kids and to be the sole caretaker.

896
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:36,600
Speaker 3: While he works on building his twitch.

897
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:39,719
Speaker 5: Even though he never streams or records and seems.

898
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 3: Not committed at all. Would I be the knucklehead if

899
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 3: I break up with him?

900
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:43,319
Speaker 6: No?

901
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:45,359
Speaker 3: Should I try to work this out?

902
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:45,759
Speaker 8: No?

903
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:47,880
Speaker 3: Am I overreacting?

904
00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:48,560
Speaker 8: No?

905
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:52,480
Speaker 3: I really need advice on what I should do from here.

906
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,760
Speaker 3: And we do have a half update.

907
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,319
Speaker 2: It looks I honestly believe that in the you know,

908
00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:00,000
Speaker 2: the next like ten years, twenty years, it's like that's

909
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,400
Speaker 2: probably building your twitch or whatever. It's probably gonna be

910
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:04,479
Speaker 2: one of the most valuable assets you can have, because

911
00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:06,399
Speaker 2: it's like I don't even know. It's hard to I can't.

912
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:08,600
Speaker 2: I don't have enough time to even like roadmap like

913
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:11,279
Speaker 2: where I see like entertainment and media like going in

914
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:13,960
Speaker 2: the next couple decades. But like it could be valuable

915
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 2: if he get a job but build your twitch, get

916
00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:19,279
Speaker 2: a job, but build your stream whatever. Sure, but he's

917
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:21,799
Speaker 2: not even doing it. Yeah, he's not even doing it.

918
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:24,440
Speaker 5: If you guys like are expecting to have kids and

919
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:27,200
Speaker 5: like live together and stuff like that while all he's

920
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:29,640
Speaker 5: doing is building his twitch. It's like, no, dude, that

921
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:32,440
Speaker 5: needs to be a side thing. Sure you can commit

922
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 5: to it and like have your time for it, but

923
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,359
Speaker 5: you got to do something for it, right. You can't

924
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 5: be doing nothing right it's you.

925
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 2: You can't just do that and be like, yes, move

926
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:43,840
Speaker 2: to this country and do everything for me while I

927
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:45,400
Speaker 2: play video games a day. But I don't even know that.

928
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, may bear six, So four says don't be with

929
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 3: the guy. What a loser?

930
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:50,480
Speaker 2: Right? Yeah? And the thing about stream is like you

931
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 2: don't like we don't play video games all day. This

932
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 2: is a stream. I mean it's like anyway, that's a

933
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 2: whole other I could talk about for three hours.

934
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:58,440
Speaker 3: So we have an update.

935
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:01,879
Speaker 5: One slash question shouldn't work. I wanted to thank those

936
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 5: who commented and DM to me, giving me insight. I

937
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,360
Speaker 5: didn't realize how much of a people pleaser I was,

938
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:07,880
Speaker 5: But I'll work on that anyway.

939
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:10,760
Speaker 3: On to the update. My family are all.

940
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 5: Going away for a week and I've spoken to them,

941
00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:14,680
Speaker 5: even shown this post to them, and they've all said

942
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:16,480
Speaker 5: that they can tell that I'm stressing over it. They

943
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:18,760
Speaker 5: asked me to wait until they come back, not wanting

944
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:20,040
Speaker 5: me to be alone in a dark.

945
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:21,160
Speaker 3: Headspace if things go south.

946
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:22,799
Speaker 5: I still need to figure out what the heck I'm

947
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 5: going to say to him, but I'm ninety percent sure

948
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:26,000
Speaker 5: that I'm done.

949
00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:28,439
Speaker 3: I'll update more once I end things, depending on how

950
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:28,960
Speaker 3: that goes.

951
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:31,719
Speaker 5: I am also open to any advice for how to

952
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:32,920
Speaker 5: go about breaking things.

953
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:35,520
Speaker 3: Off with him, if anyone has ideas or suggestions.

954
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:37,720
Speaker 5: I kind of overthink things a lot, and I've felt

955
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:39,600
Speaker 5: sick to my stomach at the thought of doing this.

956
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:42,440
Speaker 5: So Wednesday night, I got home from working a night

957
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 5: shift and had asked my partner to talk on the phone.

958
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:46,600
Speaker 3: Let's call him Jake.

959
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:50,160
Speaker 5: Jake answered, and it was about five to six am

960
00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:53,360
Speaker 5: for him. I was running on no sleep, three energy drinks,

961
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,960
Speaker 5: and enough caffeine and anxiety to fuel a small car.

962
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:58,560
Speaker 3: When we called, I explained how I felt. Basically.

963
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 5: I started it off by saying that I felt like

964
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 5: I was the only one putting energy into the relationship,

965
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 5: how he had shrugged me off for almost two months,

966
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:07,799
Speaker 5: and how it felt unfair that he was micromanaging my

967
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:11,400
Speaker 5: finances my appearance and my hours at work. He seemed

968
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 5: to prioritize video games over me. He was on the

969
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:15,400
Speaker 5: call for almost.

970
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 3: Two hours, with fifteen minutes not an exaggeration. I actually

971
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 3: timed it of silence where he sat saying nothing.

972
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 5: I left the call, and he had texted saying we'll

973
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:27,760
Speaker 5: talk in good morning. When we spoke, Jake broke down, crying,

974
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 5: begging for another chance, saying he didn't realize how badly

975
00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:33,840
Speaker 5: he had neglected me and how much he needed me.

976
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:35,320
Speaker 3: He said he'd change.

977
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 5: He wrote up a timeline for things disability pension applications,

978
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:42,280
Speaker 5: attempting to find part time work, prioritizing his health, fixing

979
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:44,799
Speaker 5: his car, and supposedly trying to save to move out

980
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 5: of his parents' house.

981
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:47,840
Speaker 2: Don't fall for that. That desire to change needs to

982
00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:49,359
Speaker 2: come from what needs to come from within.

983
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:53,520
Speaker 3: It's too much change to happen naturally in this fast.

984
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:55,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, you just go, Hey, I wish you luck with

985
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 2: all those changes you want to make. I hope whoever

986
00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:59,600
Speaker 2: you end up with, yeh can enjoy the person that

987
00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:00,160
Speaker 2: you become.

988
00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:03,160
Speaker 5: Exactly exactly because he's just gonna go back to his

989
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:03,640
Speaker 5: old ways.

990
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:04,680
Speaker 3: That's what's gonna happen.

991
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:08,480
Speaker 5: He begged for another three months. I didn't answer right

992
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:10,719
Speaker 5: away and eventually asked if I could think things through.

993
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,880
Speaker 5: Spoke to my family and some close friends, asking me

994
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 5: if I should leave and how to handle the situation.

995
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:17,799
Speaker 5: I called a shared friend, Chris twenty four mail, who

996
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:19,959
Speaker 5: we both met online and ended up having a six

997
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,360
Speaker 5: hour call with him. Chris is super chill and the

998
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:23,960
Speaker 5: two had a barromance.

999
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,399
Speaker 3: It seemed Chris.

1000
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:27,600
Speaker 5: Is very sweet on me, introducing me as his sister,

1001
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:29,880
Speaker 5: saying that he wants to walk me down the aisle.

1002
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:33,080
Speaker 5: Full hype man for our relationship. We've known him about

1003
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:35,799
Speaker 5: two years so before we started dating. Chris said that

1004
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:38,440
Speaker 5: he could tell that I wasn't happy anymore and had

1005
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:40,560
Speaker 5: heard a few things from other friends about how Jake

1006
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:44,280
Speaker 5: was talking about people behind their backs, but never mentioned names.

1007
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:46,839
Speaker 5: I confess that I had heard similar stories and even

1008
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:49,279
Speaker 5: had some confirm. Now online friend of ours had a

1009
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:53,320
Speaker 5: screen capture or a video of Jake badmouthing Chris, which I

1010
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 5: shared after Chris begged for it.

1011
00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 3: Chris said that he had felt things were off.

1012
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:01,160
Speaker 5: He's known to vanish offline for weeks or months before

1013
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:03,720
Speaker 5: coming back. He thought Jake blamed him for an incident

1014
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:06,759
Speaker 5: that happened this past New Year's I started drinking a lot,

1015
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:09,080
Speaker 5: got spiked by a guy friend who threw me in

1016
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:09,720
Speaker 5: his car.

1017
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:11,440
Speaker 3: Jake ghosted me for a.

1018
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:13,520
Speaker 5: Week the day after it happened when I told him,

1019
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:16,400
Speaker 5: it wasn't until I sent him proof of my talks,

1020
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:19,759
Speaker 5: screen police meetings, in the restraining order and everything that

1021
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:20,759
Speaker 5: he believed I.

1022
00:43:20,719 --> 00:43:23,360
Speaker 3: Didn't willingly cheat on him. Oh my god, that is

1023
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:25,760
Speaker 3: an insane, red flag insane.

1024
00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:28,480
Speaker 2: Put this guy in the sun where he belongs. He

1025
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:32,800
Speaker 2: needs to be making freaking helium ions or whatever. That dude,

1026
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:34,040
Speaker 2: get him out of here.

1027
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:35,279
Speaker 3: Chris heard from.

1028
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 5: Jake came back and called me sobbing and apologizing, thinking

1029
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:40,960
Speaker 5: that it was his fault either way. I had a

1030
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:43,399
Speaker 5: lengthy conversation with Jake, and I said, my heart isn't

1031
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:45,840
Speaker 5: in this anymore. I explained how I was forcing myself

1032
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:48,319
Speaker 5: to stay and how my mind and heart were set.

1033
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:49,400
Speaker 3: When he started crying.

1034
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:51,799
Speaker 5: He said he'd leave it to me to take down

1035
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 5: the social media statuses and posts. He asked if we

1036
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:58,040
Speaker 5: could revisit the conversation after about six months. He hopes

1037
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:00,880
Speaker 5: he'll have income by then. And I should be finished

1038
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:02,799
Speaker 5: with a small course I need to take before I

1039
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:07,000
Speaker 5: can apply to my state's paramedicine program. I honestly haven't cried.

1040
00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:09,200
Speaker 5: I feel like a giant weight has been lifted off

1041
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:12,439
Speaker 5: my shoulders. I haven't blocked him, but I've deleted all

1042
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 5: the signs of us having been together from my social

1043
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:15,720
Speaker 5: media accounts.

1044
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 2: You should have, you cried all You should be tears

1045
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:22,239
Speaker 2: of joy because your life would have joys so much

1046
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:24,839
Speaker 2: worse if you had ended up staying with this guy

1047
00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:28,400
Speaker 2: and getting married and doing the VAT terrible all.

1048
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:30,640
Speaker 3: Of that stuff. Yeah, and that's the end of the story.

1049
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 3: We're going on to the next one.

1050
00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 7: My boyfriend is jealous that I have another girlfriend, but

1051
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 7: he has another one too. Do you guys have an

1052
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:43,640
Speaker 7: open relationship? I, twenty two female, am in a poly

1053
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:49,560
Speaker 7: relationship with my boyfriend John, twenty three male, of two years.

1054
00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:54,120
Speaker 7: I'll start by saying that I am an aspect identity woman,

1055
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:56,560
Speaker 7: and I made it clear to my boyfriend before we

1056
00:44:56,600 --> 00:44:59,640
Speaker 7: started dating. It was a bit hard because he had

1057
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:02,799
Speaker 7: a fami old school upbringing, but he accepted it. He

1058
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:06,279
Speaker 7: has a low, spicy sleep drive, so it's not that

1059
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:09,399
Speaker 7: much of an issue. By the way, this comes from

1060
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:14,440
Speaker 7: Manalita fifteen and if you want to submit your own stories,

1061
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:18,799
Speaker 7: go to the Okay story time subreddit. I am Savannah,

1062
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 7: I'm Carly, and we're here to give you some good

1063
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:24,040
Speaker 7: advice googlefully, but we don't have all the answers. We

1064
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:25,760
Speaker 7: would just tell you what we would do in this situation,

1065
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 7: so we want to know what you'd do in the comments.

1066
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:33,000
Speaker 7: As Opie says, I've always been interested in poly relationships,

1067
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 7: and when he broached the topic, I was happy to

1068
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:38,920
Speaker 7: agree to try it. Long story short, he found a girlfriend,

1069
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:42,480
Speaker 7: Sarah twenty three, female, who I actually like. I wouldn't

1070
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:45,160
Speaker 7: say we're going to be best friends, but she isn't

1071
00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:48,600
Speaker 7: someone I feel uncomfortable around, and it's been mostly okay.

1072
00:45:48,719 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 7: John looks happy, he has more motivation, and he talks

1073
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:53,840
Speaker 7: all the time about how much of a good idea

1074
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:56,120
Speaker 7: this way. I haven't had a lot of luck though.

1075
00:45:56,480 --> 00:46:00,120
Speaker 7: My asexuality has blocked a lot of possible relationships, and

1076
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:03,040
Speaker 7: I've been studying like crazy, so I barely had time

1077
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:03,520
Speaker 7: to sleep.

1078
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:04,919
Speaker 3: I'm part of a couple.

1079
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:08,480
Speaker 7: Of ASPEC identity online communities and started talking to a girl,

1080
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:12,120
Speaker 7: Mary twenty three female and we really hit it off.

1081
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:15,799
Speaker 7: We're both ace, have a lot of common interest and

1082
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:18,880
Speaker 7: she's funny as heck. A couple of my friends have

1083
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,920
Speaker 7: met her, and everyone says we're perfect together. I wanted

1084
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:25,360
Speaker 7: to introduce her to John, just for the record. I

1085
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:28,080
Speaker 7: talked to Mary and she's interested in me too. I

1086
00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:30,160
Speaker 7: wanted to tell him in person, so I told him

1087
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:33,120
Speaker 7: to come earlier. He got there late, and Mary arrived

1088
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:35,399
Speaker 7: before him, so I decided to let him meet her

1089
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 7: before everything. He really liked her and was singing her praises. Afterward,

1090
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:41,879
Speaker 7: when I got home, he came with me. I told

1091
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:44,120
Speaker 7: him I really liked her and could see us dating.

1092
00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:46,920
Speaker 7: He went really quiet, and I got anxious. He then

1093
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:49,760
Speaker 7: started telling me that he thought this wasn't a good idea,

1094
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:52,480
Speaker 7: that I didn't know what I was doing, that she

1095
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:56,440
Speaker 7: wasn't that funny, and as I quote, she's not even pretty.

1096
00:46:56,719 --> 00:46:59,279
Speaker 7: I'm not proud of it, but I lost it. I

1097
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:01,200
Speaker 7: told him to get out of my house and that

1098
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:05,120
Speaker 7: a poly relationship wasn't just for his benefit. The next day,

1099
00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:08,319
Speaker 7: Sarah called me and said she wanted my side of

1100
00:47:08,320 --> 00:47:11,839
Speaker 7: the story. Apparently I was crazy wanted to move out

1101
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:14,320
Speaker 7: with a girl. I met once and that he thought

1102
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 7: she was a heavy drinker question mark, question Mark. I

1103
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:22,320
Speaker 7: explained everything to her and she went to talk to him. First,

1104
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:25,720
Speaker 7: he said I lied but got caught. Then he changed

1105
00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:29,400
Speaker 7: his tune and said that she must have misunderstood.

1106
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:33,560
Speaker 3: In short, she's angry and I'm angrier.

1107
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 7: Yesterday, he sent me a message admitting that he was

1108
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:41,200
Speaker 7: wrong and that he had a very traditional upbringing which

1109
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:44,840
Speaker 7: came out with a very sex idea. He didn't like

1110
00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:49,480
Speaker 7: his woman with another person, and he was sorry.

1111
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:50,359
Speaker 3: I don't know.

1112
00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:53,200
Speaker 7: I felt hurt, angry, and I can't shake the feeling

1113
00:47:53,239 --> 00:47:56,040
Speaker 7: that he thought I'd never get anyone. He did seem

1114
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 7: to regret what he said, though, What should I do personally?

1115
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,719
Speaker 7: How would be pissed off at the lies too? I'd

1116
00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:05,880
Speaker 7: make it clear that isn't acceptable. Only you can figure

1117
00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:07,839
Speaker 7: out what you should do. The biggest thing to do,

1118
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:10,879
Speaker 7: I would think is communicate. It sounds like he wants

1119
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:14,279
Speaker 7: to be pollie while he wants you to be monogamous.

1120
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 7: That doesn't sound like something you are interested in, in

1121
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 7: which case it wouldn't be a good idea to do

1122
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:22,560
Speaker 7: it just to make him happy. Make it clear to

1123
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:24,520
Speaker 7: him that you will be seeing other people and having

1124
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:27,359
Speaker 7: other relationships. If you can't handle that, then you will

1125
00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:29,799
Speaker 7: have to figure out if what he wants will work

1126
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 7: for you or not. Regardless of how he was raised,

1127
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 7: he is an adult now and can make his own

1128
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:37,600
Speaker 7: decisions and his own beliefs. How he was raised doesn't

1129
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:40,480
Speaker 7: excuse his behavior. If you like this girl and she

1130
00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:44,200
Speaker 7: likes you, and you think something could develop, I would

1131
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:47,759
Speaker 7: pursue it. And Ope responds, I definitely don't want to

1132
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:51,480
Speaker 7: be monogamous in him being Pollie. I'll text him and

1133
00:48:51,600 --> 00:48:54,240
Speaker 7: ask to have a conversation face to face, maybe next week.

1134
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:57,320
Speaker 7: He did sound truly regretful, and I will talk about

1135
00:48:57,320 --> 00:48:57,880
Speaker 7: his lies.

1136
00:48:58,160 --> 00:48:58,880
Speaker 3: We'll see.

1137
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:02,359
Speaker 7: There is a n comment that says you were right

1138
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:04,680
Speaker 7: to lose it at him. He doesn't respect your decisions

1139
00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 7: and he's not supportive. While his input can be valuable

1140
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:11,360
Speaker 7: if he presents and supports it well, his behavior is bs.

1141
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:14,000
Speaker 7: He doesn't get to decide who you date, and he

1142
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:18,080
Speaker 7: certainly doesn't get to insult that person. Honestly true, he's

1143
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 7: a liar and a manipulator. Insulting and lying about you

1144
00:49:22,080 --> 00:49:26,640
Speaker 7: to someone else is emotional. No amount of traditional upbringing

1145
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:30,239
Speaker 7: makes up for any of that, let alone the misogyny

1146
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:33,840
Speaker 7: or even the basic respect for your autonomy and decision

1147
00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:37,760
Speaker 7: making abilities. Regret isn't enough, even if it is sincere

1148
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:40,279
Speaker 7: in the moment, the only thing that matters is that

1149
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 7: he immediately changes for the better, no excuses, nobs. He

1150
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:49,000
Speaker 7: needs to never affing do any of this again and instead.

1151
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:50,560
Speaker 3: Be actively supportive of you.

1152
00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:53,000
Speaker 7: You need to have not just a talk with him,

1153
00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:56,440
Speaker 7: but a talk with Sarah independently of him. All you

1154
00:49:56,560 --> 00:50:00,759
Speaker 7: need to read up on emotional manipulation and a so

1155
00:50:00,800 --> 00:50:03,600
Speaker 7: that you can actively label those things when you see them.

1156
00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:06,759
Speaker 7: And if he does anything like this ever again, you

1157
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:11,400
Speaker 7: all need to effing leave because you are all in danger. Personally,

1158
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:14,760
Speaker 7: I'd throw his butt right out the gosh darn door.

1159
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:17,680
Speaker 3: Do not tolerate or.

1160
00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:20,400
Speaker 7: Make excuses for a You don't wait for him to

1161
00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:23,560
Speaker 7: hit you or worse. That is pretty intense, But honestly,

1162
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:26,239
Speaker 7: it's a good like it's hard to be aware of

1163
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:29,520
Speaker 7: always yeaeah. It's a hard, hard truth, hard reality.

1164
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 3: And I'm guessing that.

1165
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:33,799
Speaker 7: Person probably went through like a very tragic situations, so

1166
00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:36,200
Speaker 7: but it is true, and sometimes you need the hard

1167
00:50:36,239 --> 00:50:38,800
Speaker 7: truth in order to like wake up and realize like, Okay,

1168
00:50:39,080 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 7: you're right, because I would hate to see that it

1169
00:50:41,719 --> 00:50:45,640
Speaker 7: happens too late and then something really did like happen

1170
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:49,560
Speaker 7: that has changed you and you know, negative whatnot. But op,

1171
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:51,960
Speaker 7: he did respond. I'll talk to him next week and

1172
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:53,879
Speaker 7: we'll see how it goes. But yeah, I'm leaning more

1173
00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 7: toward breaking up good. I've been talking more to Sarah

1174
00:50:57,120 --> 00:50:59,479
Speaker 7: since this blew up, and she's pretty mad. She's going

1175
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:01,719
Speaker 7: to her home town this weekend so they won't be

1176
00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:06,320
Speaker 7: able to see each other. I'll keep her updated the updates.

1177
00:51:06,719 --> 00:51:10,160
Speaker 7: One week later, okay, I asked if we could talk

1178
00:51:10,200 --> 00:51:12,200
Speaker 7: on Tuesdays since I didn't have class the next day.

1179
00:51:12,239 --> 00:51:14,080
Speaker 7: He agreed, and we decided to meet up at his

1180
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:15,320
Speaker 7: apartment after classes.

1181
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:16,239
Speaker 3: By the end of the.

1182
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:19,319
Speaker 7: Day, I texted Sarah to let her know i'd be

1183
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:21,719
Speaker 7: talking to him about the situation, and she asked me

1184
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:24,000
Speaker 7: to call her after. I wasn't sure i'd like to

1185
00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:26,279
Speaker 7: talk right after, but said i'd text her if I

1186
00:51:26,320 --> 00:51:29,279
Speaker 7: wanted to be alone or in silence. I talked to

1187
00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:31,640
Speaker 7: a friend who lives close by to see if we

1188
00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:34,239
Speaker 7: could hang out after the talk. Because this kind of

1189
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:37,720
Speaker 7: thing always shoots my anxiety through the roof, and having

1190
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 7: someone I trust around helps a lot. I got to

1191
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:42,880
Speaker 7: his house and even before I could say anything, he

1192
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:44,240
Speaker 7: started to apologize.

1193
00:51:44,320 --> 00:51:44,879
Speaker 3: At first, it.

1194
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:47,239
Speaker 7: Seemed okay, but then he said something like, oh, I

1195
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:50,879
Speaker 7: was being really stupid worrying about you in another relationship.

1196
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:54,479
Speaker 7: You won't have spicy sleep anyways, and besides, she's a girl,

1197
00:51:54,560 --> 00:51:55,560
Speaker 7: so it doesn't count.

1198
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:59,080
Speaker 3: I asked what the f he meant by that, and

1199
00:51:59,239 --> 00:52:00,040
Speaker 3: he said.

1200
00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:03,200
Speaker 7: That he didn't have a problem with girls having spicy sleep,

1201
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:06,920
Speaker 7: but that it showed they didn't respect themselves and you

1202
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:10,520
Speaker 7: couldn't really take a relationship with someone like that seriously,

1203
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:13,880
Speaker 7: but that I didn't have to worry because I was

1204
00:52:14,160 --> 00:52:18,719
Speaker 7: pure in a real woman and whatnot. I was furious

1205
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:21,800
Speaker 7: did he actually think this was right or that it

1206
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:24,960
Speaker 7: would make me happy? But instead I asked, but what

1207
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:28,640
Speaker 7: about Sarah? He answered, Oh, she's not seen anyone else

1208
00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:31,400
Speaker 7: right now. I said something like, what if she was.

1209
00:52:31,480 --> 00:52:33,719
Speaker 7: You're in a poly relationship, she might fall in love

1210
00:52:33,719 --> 00:52:36,600
Speaker 7: with another man and they might have spicy sleep. At

1211
00:52:36,600 --> 00:52:39,560
Speaker 7: this point, I was completely sure I'd be breaking up,

1212
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:42,480
Speaker 7: But what he said after made me lose a portion

1213
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:42,879
Speaker 7: of my.

1214
00:52:42,880 --> 00:52:44,200
Speaker 3: Faith in humanity.

1215
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:48,879
Speaker 7: Eh, he said, I like Sarah, but everyone knows she's

1216
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:50,960
Speaker 7: not a girl to get married to. I mean not

1217
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:52,480
Speaker 7: even her parents wanted her.

1218
00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 3: She's adopted. What what I mean? Crazy responds Why would

1219
00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:00,399
Speaker 3: you respond way?

1220
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:03,719
Speaker 9: I hope you turned around and walked away immediately. This

1221
00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:05,560
Speaker 9: man is scum of the.

1222
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 7: Earth, Like he literally like you just came to talk

1223
00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:12,200
Speaker 7: about this, like you know situation. He's like, well, it's

1224
00:53:12,239 --> 00:53:15,239
Speaker 7: all about me and my needs and had like I

1225
00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:18,560
Speaker 7: don't even know what he's apologizing for, honestly, Like why

1226
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:21,520
Speaker 7: did he apologize because he's obviously not sorry about anything

1227
00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 7: that he said or is doing.

1228
00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:26,719
Speaker 9: You. Also, at this point, I'm like, don't tell Sarah

1229
00:53:26,920 --> 00:53:30,719
Speaker 9: exactly what he said, but highly imply that it is

1230
00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:33,080
Speaker 9: not good for her to stay with this man. Either, Yeah,

1231
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:35,320
Speaker 9: you can tell maybe say what he said to you,

1232
00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:38,600
Speaker 9: or like a vague thing about what he implied about her,

1233
00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:41,319
Speaker 9: like maybe though like she's not a girl to marry part.

1234
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:44,399
Speaker 9: I'd leave out the adoption part, yeah, because I think

1235
00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:45,239
Speaker 9: that might hurt her.

1236
00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:49,040
Speaker 3: A bit, But that's your call, Yeah, because who literally says.

1237
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:52,839
Speaker 9: Says that about someone that they're with, especially not even

1238
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:54,000
Speaker 9: the parents.

1239
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:57,480
Speaker 7: Like I mean, that is not at any like you

1240
00:53:57,560 --> 00:53:58,759
Speaker 7: don't know anything.

1241
00:53:59,040 --> 00:54:02,600
Speaker 3: This man acts like he knows like you know nothing.

1242
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:09,640
Speaker 7: To make these assumptions is ridiculous. Anyways, what the F? Yeah,

1243
00:54:09,719 --> 00:54:12,600
Speaker 7: I was speechless. I don't know if he thought my

1244
00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:15,280
Speaker 7: silence meant I agreed with him, but he kept talking.

1245
00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:18,640
Speaker 7: You know, she even got adopted by another couple and

1246
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:19,880
Speaker 7: they sent her back.

1247
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:23,000
Speaker 3: This all just shows there's something wrong with her.

1248
00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:25,880
Speaker 7: I like having fun with her, but I'd never even

1249
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:28,080
Speaker 7: think about spending the rest of my life with someone

1250
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:31,280
Speaker 7: like that. At this point, I said I was done.

1251
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:31,959
Speaker 3: Thank God.

1252
00:54:32,080 --> 00:54:35,040
Speaker 7: I told him he was the most disgusting person I'd

1253
00:54:35,120 --> 00:54:38,160
Speaker 7: ever seen, and that he was the lowest human I'd

1254
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:38,960
Speaker 7: ever talked to.

1255
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:39,359
Speaker 2: Good.

1256
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 7: He then tried to stop me from leaving, but I

1257
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:43,640
Speaker 7: made it clear that if he didn't let me leave,

1258
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:47,319
Speaker 7: I'd f him up so much his grandsons would feel

1259
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:50,720
Speaker 7: a lol. He let me leave. I cried the entire

1260
00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:53,439
Speaker 7: walk to my friend's place, which freaked her out since

1261
00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:54,720
Speaker 7: I almost never cried.

1262
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:55,600
Speaker 2: Oh oh by.

1263
00:54:56,080 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 7: We opened a bottle of vodka and ate the curry

1264
00:54:58,680 --> 00:55:01,040
Speaker 7: she made. I love this girl, La, and I cried

1265
00:55:01,120 --> 00:55:03,480
Speaker 7: a lot. Well, guess who called?

1266
00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:07,240
Speaker 3: I'd forgotten to text Sarah. She got worried.

1267
00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:10,320
Speaker 7: So I was crying my heart out, half a bottle

1268
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:14,279
Speaker 7: of vodka in oh and talking to her. I said

1269
00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:19,040
Speaker 7: it all, oh oh. I don't really remember what she said,

1270
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:22,800
Speaker 7: but I knew things were bad. I woke up, went home, showered,

1271
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:26,680
Speaker 7: and ate, slept a lifetime. Woke up to my phone ringing.

1272
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:30,040
Speaker 7: Sarah was calling. Apparently she was furious and left her

1273
00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:33,320
Speaker 7: hometown on Wednesday. She was supposed to stay until Easter,

1274
00:55:33,840 --> 00:55:37,800
Speaker 7: and went to John's house. It was apparently a crap show.

1275
00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:41,000
Speaker 7: At first, he tried to deny it, but got caught

1276
00:55:41,080 --> 00:55:44,400
Speaker 7: in his own lies. Then he tried to justify, like

1277
00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:48,080
Speaker 7: what that f Finally she broke up and left.

1278
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:51,040
Speaker 9: Well, you know, maybe not the best time.

1279
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:54,000
Speaker 8: Away to tell Sarah, but I'm very glad she found out,

1280
00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:56,879
Speaker 8: and I'm very glad that she also got out of there, right,

1281
00:55:56,960 --> 00:56:01,000
Speaker 8: because that just was the worst possible things to say

1282
00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:01,920
Speaker 8: about exactly.

1283
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:04,560
Speaker 9: Seems very sweet, Like Sarah seems like.

1284
00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:06,920
Speaker 7: A sweet all right, yeah, And he's just like, yeah, no,

1285
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:09,640
Speaker 7: she's this, this, this, whoa where.

1286
00:56:09,239 --> 00:56:12,799
Speaker 3: Did that come from? Like what are you doing with her?

1287
00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:15,040
Speaker 7: Like that's what I don't care. You don't like you

1288
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:17,480
Speaker 7: can talk all this crap on this person. Yet you're

1289
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:20,239
Speaker 7: but you're still choosing to be.

1290
00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:23,239
Speaker 3: In this right, so we're letting her along. What does

1291
00:56:23,239 --> 00:56:24,080
Speaker 3: that say about you?

1292
00:56:24,520 --> 00:56:24,600
Speaker 5: Like?

1293
00:56:24,719 --> 00:56:29,240
Speaker 7: That is horrible to do to someonefriend like who got

1294
00:56:29,080 --> 00:56:30,560
Speaker 7: in double dumped.

1295
00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:31,960
Speaker 3: Literally double dumped.

1296
00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:36,880
Speaker 7: I hate him anyway, let's let's see this update. Turns

1297
00:56:36,880 --> 00:56:39,120
Speaker 7: out she went home and realized she forgot her key

1298
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:41,960
Speaker 7: at her parents' home and her roommate was traveling. She

1299
00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:44,359
Speaker 7: called me and I invited her to spend the night.

1300
00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:46,759
Speaker 7: We opened a bottle of wine and ordered some pizza.

1301
00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:47,400
Speaker 3: So there's that.

1302
00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:49,799
Speaker 7: Sarah is okay, as fine as someone could be. She

1303
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:54,080
Speaker 7: went back to her hometown. John is ft because Sarah's

1304
00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:56,839
Speaker 7: family is very influential in the area he.

1305
00:56:57,040 --> 00:56:58,080
Speaker 3: Intended to work in.

1306
00:56:58,280 --> 00:57:02,000
Speaker 7: And I'm fine, I guess pretty much shocked, and I'm

1307
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:04,479
Speaker 7: not sure if it has sunk in yet. So yeah,

1308
00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:07,759
Speaker 7: have been better, have been worse. And that is the

1309
00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:08,880
Speaker 7: end of that story.

1310
00:57:09,640 --> 00:57:10,799
Speaker 2: John here og host.

1311
00:57:10,840 --> 00:57:12,560
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to these stories, but a quick

1312
00:57:12,560 --> 00:57:14,240
Speaker 1: three minute break from ass form our sponsors.

1313
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:18,280
Speaker 9: My girlfriend lied about going to a show I wanted

1314
00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:20,920
Speaker 9: to see, so I confronted her about it, as you

1315
00:57:20,920 --> 00:57:23,360
Speaker 9: should I'm not going to start out with the whole

1316
00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:26,880
Speaker 9: our relationship is perfect, but thing that you always see

1317
00:57:26,880 --> 00:57:29,360
Speaker 9: on here. I'll admit this has been one of the

1318
00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:33,600
Speaker 9: hardest relationships I've been in. I still very much love her.

1319
00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:39,880
Speaker 9: She's beautiful, strong, driven, successful and independent. However, my male

1320
00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:44,320
Speaker 9: thirty girlfriend female twenty eight is a dismissive avoidant to

1321
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:48,040
Speaker 9: the extreme and it's been causing a lot of issues

1322
00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:51,200
Speaker 9: in our relationship. By the way, this comes from responsible

1323
00:57:51,320 --> 00:57:53,960
Speaker 9: Log fifty thirty nine and if you want usubmit your

1324
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:56,840
Speaker 9: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

1325
00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:58,000
Speaker 3: I'm Carly and.

1326
00:57:57,960 --> 00:58:00,920
Speaker 9: I'm Savannah, and we're here to give good advice. S gooofully,

1327
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:03,240
Speaker 9: but we don't have all the answers. We only know

1328
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:05,040
Speaker 9: what we would do, So let us know what you

1329
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:08,920
Speaker 9: would do in the comments and Opie says she's in therapy,

1330
00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:12,040
Speaker 9: but that is mostly focusing on managing her OCD and

1331
00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:16,360
Speaker 9: related eating disorder. She has issues expressing her emotions and

1332
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:21,600
Speaker 9: needs and struggles with communication, commitment, and compromise as a result,

1333
00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:24,800
Speaker 9: We've been dating a little over a year. Prior to me,

1334
00:58:25,080 --> 00:58:28,440
Speaker 9: her longest relationship was less than two months. She usually

1335
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 9: shuts down and runs from relationships if she feels smothered,

1336
00:58:32,200 --> 00:58:34,880
Speaker 9: if her partner lets her down, or if she feels

1337
00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:38,560
Speaker 9: like she's being criticized. She does recognize this and she's

1338
00:58:38,560 --> 00:58:39,600
Speaker 9: trying to work on it.

1339
00:58:39,800 --> 00:58:41,040
Speaker 3: But it's hard on us.

1340
00:58:41,080 --> 00:58:44,080
Speaker 9: Both both of us are big theater nerds. A few

1341
00:58:44,120 --> 00:58:46,240
Speaker 9: months ago, we had a trip to a city about

1342
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:49,360
Speaker 9: two hours from us to visit her grandparents, and I

1343
00:58:49,440 --> 00:58:51,480
Speaker 9: got to meet her best friends from college for the

1344
00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:54,120
Speaker 9: first time. While there, we went to a show with

1345
00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:57,760
Speaker 9: her friends. I honestly had a great time. Her grandparents

1346
00:58:57,840 --> 00:59:01,320
Speaker 9: love me, and I got along really well with her friends.

1347
00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:04,560
Speaker 9: There was another show coming up in a few months

1348
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:07,400
Speaker 9: that both of us have connections to. It was the

1349
00:59:07,440 --> 00:59:10,480
Speaker 9: first musical she ever saw with her grandparents, and I

1350
00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:12,960
Speaker 9: worked on a production in high school. I asked my

1351
00:59:13,040 --> 00:59:16,200
Speaker 9: girlfriend if we could go. I even offered to bring

1352
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:18,720
Speaker 9: her grandparents and treat them to a nice night out,

1353
00:59:19,240 --> 00:59:22,560
Speaker 9: or we could go with her college friends. I immediately

1354
00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:25,320
Speaker 9: got shut down. She said that she didn't really like

1355
00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:27,720
Speaker 9: that show and she didn't want to see it again. Fine,

1356
00:59:27,840 --> 00:59:30,880
Speaker 9: no big deal. That show was last weekend. We kind

1357
00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:33,960
Speaker 9: of had a fight on Saturday. I was about fifteen

1358
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:36,520
Speaker 9: minutes late picking her up to hang out at a brewery,

1359
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:39,600
Speaker 9: and she felt really let down. She's broken up with

1360
00:59:39,640 --> 00:59:42,600
Speaker 9: other people for similar reasons and gave me the silent

1361
00:59:42,680 --> 00:59:45,920
Speaker 9: treatment all day. Eventually I got her to open up.

1362
00:59:46,120 --> 00:59:48,760
Speaker 9: We apologize to each other and have a decent evening

1363
00:59:48,800 --> 00:59:51,400
Speaker 9: at home. The next morning, she says that she doesn't

1364
00:59:51,400 --> 00:59:53,760
Speaker 9: feel great and wants to go home to rest. I

1365
00:59:53,880 --> 00:59:55,680
Speaker 9: drive her home and ask if she needs me to

1366
00:59:55,720 --> 00:59:58,760
Speaker 9: stay with her, to take care of her or anything. Nope,

1367
00:59:58,840 --> 01:00:01,400
Speaker 9: she just wants a quiet day to herself. I tell

1368
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:03,480
Speaker 9: her to let me know if she needs anything and

1369
01:00:03,560 --> 01:00:06,760
Speaker 9: head home. I don't hear from her all day, even

1370
01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:10,520
Speaker 9: when she's relaxing. We're usually trading memes and snapshots of

1371
01:00:10,560 --> 01:00:14,440
Speaker 9: our cats, but she's not even opening my messages. Earlier

1372
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:16,960
Speaker 9: that week, she had a migraine so bad that I

1373
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:19,720
Speaker 9: needed to take her to the emergency room. I started

1374
01:00:19,760 --> 01:00:23,080
Speaker 9: to get really worried that something was wrong by late afternoon,

1375
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:26,000
Speaker 9: so I decided to check her location on find My.

1376
01:00:26,360 --> 01:00:28,840
Speaker 9: She's not at home. She's not even in our city.

1377
01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:32,600
Speaker 9: She's just leaving a restaurant and walking to the theater

1378
01:00:32,840 --> 01:00:35,000
Speaker 9: to go see the show that I really wanted to

1379
01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:37,920
Speaker 9: see I assumed she was with her friends again. The

1380
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:41,800
Speaker 9: restaurant is a favorite of theirs. Everything would have needed

1381
01:00:41,840 --> 01:00:45,080
Speaker 9: to have been planned well in advance. I'm just so

1382
01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:48,320
Speaker 9: hurt over everything. I really wouldn't have minded if she

1383
01:00:48,360 --> 01:00:50,560
Speaker 9: said she already had plans to go to the show

1384
01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:53,440
Speaker 9: with her friends. I just don't understand why she lied

1385
01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:56,280
Speaker 9: to me about not being willing to go, and why

1386
01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:58,520
Speaker 9: she lied to me to hide that she was going.

1387
01:00:58,800 --> 01:01:00,000
Speaker 9: I don't know how to bring this up to her.

1388
01:01:00,360 --> 01:01:03,800
Speaker 9: She's very sensitive to criticism. Even though i'm her I'm

1389
01:01:03,800 --> 01:01:06,320
Speaker 9: not mad at her, She'll probably just take it as

1390
01:01:06,360 --> 01:01:09,360
Speaker 9: an attack. She also doesn't really like me expressing my

1391
01:01:09,400 --> 01:01:12,200
Speaker 9: feelings to her in general, and tends to shut down

1392
01:01:12,240 --> 01:01:15,080
Speaker 9: and withdraw. I'm worried that if I bring this up,

1393
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:18,120
Speaker 9: she'll break up and leave to avoid the conversation. She's

1394
01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:20,960
Speaker 9: threatened to do that before on much smaller issues. I

1395
01:01:21,040 --> 01:01:23,440
Speaker 9: spent a lot of time thinking about what to do.

1396
01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:26,000
Speaker 9: I made my post on Monday. We had a date

1397
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:28,600
Speaker 9: planned for Wednesday. I decided I would bring it up

1398
01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:31,320
Speaker 9: then On Tuesday. She was having a bad day at work,

1399
01:01:31,480 --> 01:01:33,960
Speaker 9: but she didn't really let me know. She texted me

1400
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:36,439
Speaker 9: about an email that her boss sent, and I thought

1401
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:39,920
Speaker 9: my response was appropriately supportive. I gave a curt Is

1402
01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:42,400
Speaker 9: that all you took from that back from her, I

1403
01:01:42,440 --> 01:01:45,240
Speaker 9: was dealing with my own work issues and migraine, so

1404
01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:48,600
Speaker 9: I just doubled down on my first response. She didn't respond.

1405
01:01:48,880 --> 01:01:51,720
Speaker 9: I didn't double text, but I did reach out via

1406
01:01:51,720 --> 01:01:54,959
Speaker 9: Snapchat and Instagram messages to see if she'd respond. There,

1407
01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:59,200
Speaker 9: she didn't open any of my messages. Finally, four hours later,

1408
01:01:59,240 --> 01:02:02,000
Speaker 9: she responds with her how she doesn't feel emotionally supportive

1409
01:02:02,040 --> 01:02:04,200
Speaker 9: and she needs some space to think about the future

1410
01:02:04,200 --> 01:02:07,400
Speaker 9: of our relationship. I was super confused and asked what

1411
01:02:07,560 --> 01:02:10,080
Speaker 9: was wrong. I got the response, I just had a

1412
01:02:10,120 --> 01:02:12,560
Speaker 9: really crappy day and you didn't even bother to call me.

1413
01:02:12,880 --> 01:02:15,000
Speaker 9: I kind of snapped at that a little. I asked

1414
01:02:15,040 --> 01:02:17,560
Speaker 9: why she didn't respond to any of my messages, or

1415
01:02:17,600 --> 01:02:19,520
Speaker 9: why she didn't say, hey, I had a really bad

1416
01:02:19,560 --> 01:02:21,960
Speaker 9: day at work and need to hear your voice or

1417
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:24,720
Speaker 9: something like that. I pointed out that she never asks

1418
01:02:25,080 --> 01:02:27,920
Speaker 9: me for emotional support. She just acts out until I

1419
01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:30,720
Speaker 9: figure out what she needs or gives me the silent treatment.

1420
01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:33,720
Speaker 9: I didn't respond because it wouldn't have mattered. I cannot

1421
01:02:33,760 --> 01:02:36,040
Speaker 9: always be the one putting in the work. I explained

1422
01:02:36,080 --> 01:02:38,640
Speaker 9: that I can't read her mind. She needs to communicate

1423
01:02:38,720 --> 01:02:41,440
Speaker 9: her needs. I understand that's hard for her, but I

1424
01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:43,920
Speaker 9: can't make up for that on my end. I've been

1425
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:46,440
Speaker 9: saying I need more effort from you for months and

1426
01:02:46,520 --> 01:02:49,960
Speaker 9: nothing has changed. This is the exact argument I didn't

1427
01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:52,600
Speaker 9: want to have, and you pushed it. I responded that

1428
01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:56,040
Speaker 9: I desperately wanted to support her, but she isn't giving

1429
01:02:56,040 --> 01:02:58,360
Speaker 9: me anything to work with. I gave her the space

1430
01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:00,520
Speaker 9: she asked for and told her I love her. The

1431
01:03:00,560 --> 01:03:02,920
Speaker 9: next day, we met up at a park. It started

1432
01:03:02,920 --> 01:03:06,080
Speaker 9: with us both apologizing for how things have escalated. I

1433
01:03:06,240 --> 01:03:09,440
Speaker 9: asked her what she wanted from our relationship and what

1434
01:03:09,520 --> 01:03:12,160
Speaker 9: she felt she needed from me. She said that she

1435
01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:15,280
Speaker 9: wanted more emotional support, but couldn't tell me how I

1436
01:03:15,280 --> 01:03:17,800
Speaker 9: should be supporting her better. She said that this was

1437
01:03:17,800 --> 01:03:19,919
Speaker 9: something I would need to figure out on my own.

1438
01:03:20,320 --> 01:03:20,840
Speaker 3: That's something you.

1439
01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:21,920
Speaker 9: Guys can figure out together.

1440
01:03:22,160 --> 01:03:25,400
Speaker 7: I feel like, yeah, the fact that like everything is

1441
01:03:25,440 --> 01:03:28,000
Speaker 7: your issue, Like she hasn't said like, oh my god,

1442
01:03:28,080 --> 01:03:30,840
Speaker 7: yeah you're right, or like anything like hasn't agreed with

1443
01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:34,200
Speaker 7: one thing you said, like everything is an argument. Red

1444
01:03:34,600 --> 01:03:38,560
Speaker 7: flag the fact that you have like a system down

1445
01:03:39,040 --> 01:03:42,320
Speaker 7: for when she's ignoring you on like other means of

1446
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:43,560
Speaker 7: getting in touch with her.

1447
01:03:44,120 --> 01:03:46,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's crazy, really bad.

1448
01:03:46,280 --> 01:03:48,720
Speaker 9: She started to change the subject, which is a go

1449
01:03:48,840 --> 01:03:51,640
Speaker 9: to of hers when she's uncomfortable with the conversation. We

1450
01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:55,280
Speaker 9: jumped around to various issues in our relationship. She randomly

1451
01:03:55,320 --> 01:03:57,400
Speaker 9: says that she doesn't feel like she really knows me.

1452
01:03:57,840 --> 01:04:00,320
Speaker 9: I ask her what she means by that. She's says

1453
01:04:00,440 --> 01:04:02,640
Speaker 9: that she never knows what I'm thinking or feeling, and

1454
01:04:02,680 --> 01:04:05,920
Speaker 9: I'm too closed off. She barely engaged in my interests

1455
01:04:05,920 --> 01:04:09,320
Speaker 9: in hobbies, rarely asked me questions about myself. On the

1456
01:04:09,360 --> 01:04:11,680
Speaker 9: other hand, I made all the effort to know about

1457
01:04:11,720 --> 01:04:14,360
Speaker 9: the things she cared for. She then brought up that

1458
01:04:14,400 --> 01:04:16,720
Speaker 9: we've been dating for a year but have no plans

1459
01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:18,720
Speaker 9: to move in together. I had been trying to bring

1460
01:04:18,720 --> 01:04:21,439
Speaker 9: this up for months. She gave me different answers every

1461
01:04:21,480 --> 01:04:23,920
Speaker 9: time I asked her what she wanted for our future.

1462
01:04:24,280 --> 01:04:26,920
Speaker 9: If she didn't try to change the subject instead, She's

1463
01:04:27,080 --> 01:04:30,080
Speaker 9: never brought up our future on her own. I made

1464
01:04:30,120 --> 01:04:32,600
Speaker 9: it clear that the only reason we don't have future

1465
01:04:32,640 --> 01:04:35,240
Speaker 9: plans is because she doesn't seem to want to make

1466
01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:38,120
Speaker 9: them yet. Pointing all of this out to her made

1467
01:04:38,120 --> 01:04:40,720
Speaker 9: her go quiet. When things get too intense for her,

1468
01:04:40,800 --> 01:04:43,360
Speaker 9: she just starts to shut down and withdraw. It took

1469
01:04:43,440 --> 01:04:44,960
Speaker 9: a few minutes for her to come out of it

1470
01:04:45,240 --> 01:04:47,960
Speaker 9: as she did. I explained that I felt I was

1471
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:51,080
Speaker 9: the only one really putting effort into our relationship. She

1472
01:04:51,240 --> 01:04:54,560
Speaker 9: asked me what I seriously wanted. I explained that six

1473
01:04:54,680 --> 01:04:57,880
Speaker 9: years ago I had to end in engagement to my

1474
01:04:57,960 --> 01:05:02,480
Speaker 9: fiance after she became harmful heavy drinker. Then spent the

1475
01:05:02,520 --> 01:05:05,760
Speaker 9: next few years working eighty plus hours a week at

1476
01:05:05,800 --> 01:05:09,440
Speaker 9: a job I hated while watching my dad slowly pass away.

1477
01:05:09,800 --> 01:05:12,040
Speaker 9: What I was going to say next is that after

1478
01:05:12,120 --> 01:05:14,280
Speaker 9: going through that, I wanted to get a job that

1479
01:05:14,360 --> 01:05:16,480
Speaker 9: was better for my mental health, and I wanted to

1480
01:05:16,520 --> 01:05:19,919
Speaker 9: find my person instead. I got cut off. She said

1481
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:22,800
Speaker 9: that maybe I started dating too soon after my dad's passing.

1482
01:05:23,200 --> 01:05:26,880
Speaker 9: We started dating about nine months later. Before I could continue,

1483
01:05:26,920 --> 01:05:29,760
Speaker 9: she said that she just doesn't feel our communication styles

1484
01:05:29,800 --> 01:05:32,600
Speaker 9: are compatible. I asked her if she seriously thinks she

1485
01:05:32,640 --> 01:05:36,040
Speaker 9: has a good communication skills, which she said she does.

1486
01:05:36,640 --> 01:05:37,640
Speaker 3: In what world.

1487
01:05:38,680 --> 01:05:41,200
Speaker 9: Yeah, at this point, I am kind of just like

1488
01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:44,320
Speaker 9: you guys have wildly different styles, Like just.

1489
01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:46,959
Speaker 7: Well, I feel like op just wants to talk about

1490
01:05:46,960 --> 01:05:51,520
Speaker 7: it normally, and she does. Yeah, She's like, oh, wonderful.

1491
01:05:51,080 --> 01:05:51,760
Speaker 3: Weather we're having.

1492
01:05:51,840 --> 01:05:57,040
Speaker 7: Yeah, Like he said, she constantly changed the subject, which like, obviously,

1493
01:05:57,080 --> 01:06:00,280
Speaker 7: if you're changing the subject, it means you're avoiding rights,

1494
01:06:00,440 --> 01:06:01,640
Speaker 7: which she knew about any of it.

1495
01:06:01,760 --> 01:06:04,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, so this is like just too much.

1496
01:06:05,200 --> 01:06:08,520
Speaker 9: You've got too many contingency plans to like get around

1497
01:06:08,640 --> 01:06:09,360
Speaker 9: her behavior.

1498
01:06:10,080 --> 01:06:12,840
Speaker 7: Yeah, and also like, why is it so bad if

1499
01:06:12,880 --> 01:06:15,480
Speaker 7: you guys break up, Like you're trying to like avoid that,

1500
01:06:15,600 --> 01:06:16,800
Speaker 7: Like that's like the worst thing.

1501
01:06:16,840 --> 01:06:18,920
Speaker 3: But like, honestly, I feel like you're better with that.

1502
01:06:18,960 --> 01:06:21,040
Speaker 3: I will just be the time. Yeah.

1503
01:06:21,400 --> 01:06:23,000
Speaker 9: No, it's not been a year yet, it's been almost

1504
01:06:23,040 --> 01:06:26,280
Speaker 9: a year. I finally brought up the show. I said

1505
01:06:26,280 --> 01:06:28,760
Speaker 9: that I know she went without me, and I explained

1506
01:06:28,840 --> 01:06:31,959
Speaker 9: how I know. This visibly shocked her and she shut

1507
01:06:32,040 --> 01:06:35,320
Speaker 9: down again. I asked why she lied to me twice,

1508
01:06:35,920 --> 01:06:38,840
Speaker 9: no answer. I asked if she was cheating on me. No,

1509
01:06:39,080 --> 01:06:42,160
Speaker 9: she went with her college friends. She eventually confirmed that

1510
01:06:42,240 --> 01:06:45,680
Speaker 9: this was planned before I even asked to go. She

1511
01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:48,680
Speaker 9: just said that she didn't want to avoid what she

1512
01:06:48,760 --> 01:06:51,880
Speaker 9: felt was an uncomfortable conversation. I asked her if she

1513
01:06:51,920 --> 01:06:54,840
Speaker 9: felt like this was okay. Yes, she was worried that

1514
01:06:54,880 --> 01:06:56,920
Speaker 9: if she told the truth, I'd push her to let

1515
01:06:56,920 --> 01:06:59,560
Speaker 9: me go with them. I asked if I'd ever tried

1516
01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:02,400
Speaker 9: depress her into doing something that she didn't want to do.

1517
01:07:02,800 --> 01:07:03,040
Speaker 3: Yes.

1518
01:07:03,240 --> 01:07:06,000
Speaker 9: I asked to watch movies that she doesn't like, over

1519
01:07:06,040 --> 01:07:08,600
Speaker 9: and over. I rarely got to pick what we watched,

1520
01:07:08,640 --> 01:07:12,520
Speaker 9: and she seems to intentionally avoid movies that are important

1521
01:07:12,520 --> 01:07:15,320
Speaker 9: to me. Over Christmas, I asked to watch Home alone

1522
01:07:15,360 --> 01:07:17,880
Speaker 9: to continue a tradition I had with my dad. I

1523
01:07:17,960 --> 01:07:20,280
Speaker 9: wanted her to be there with me for support. She

1524
01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:23,640
Speaker 9: refused and found every way to invalidate my feelings. Have

1525
01:07:23,720 --> 01:07:26,280
Speaker 9: I ever pressured her outside of asking to watch a

1526
01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:29,320
Speaker 9: few of my favorite movies? No? I asked if I

1527
01:07:29,360 --> 01:07:32,160
Speaker 9: had done anything to make her feel unsafe opening up

1528
01:07:32,200 --> 01:07:34,680
Speaker 9: to me. No. She's just not the type to open

1529
01:07:34,760 --> 01:07:37,320
Speaker 9: up like that to anyone but her sister. How does

1530
01:07:37,360 --> 01:07:39,720
Speaker 9: she expect to have a serious relationship with someone if

1531
01:07:39,760 --> 01:07:41,960
Speaker 9: she won't open up to them. She feels like the

1532
01:07:42,040 --> 01:07:43,600
Speaker 9: right person will just make.

1533
01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:44,560
Speaker 3: It easy for her.

1534
01:07:44,880 --> 01:07:47,160
Speaker 9: Does she feel like she needs to do any work

1535
01:07:47,160 --> 01:07:49,720
Speaker 9: on herself to be a better partner, No, because she

1536
01:07:49,760 --> 01:07:52,400
Speaker 9: doesn't really want to be a partner anymore. She said

1537
01:07:52,400 --> 01:07:55,520
Speaker 9: that our relationship was adding so much stress in her life,

1538
01:07:55,520 --> 01:07:57,600
Speaker 9: to the point that it was affecting her job and

1539
01:07:57,600 --> 01:08:01,360
Speaker 9: eating disorder recovery. Where's the stress coming from? The constant

1540
01:08:01,400 --> 01:08:05,080
Speaker 9: obligations and me constantly asking for more from her? I

1541
01:08:05,160 --> 01:08:08,080
Speaker 9: brought up how much work I've put into this relationship.

1542
01:08:08,400 --> 01:08:11,240
Speaker 9: I chauffeurred her around for two months while her car

1543
01:08:11,280 --> 01:08:14,320
Speaker 9: was in the shop, visited her in the hospital every day,

1544
01:08:14,400 --> 01:08:16,479
Speaker 9: and then slept on her couch and took care of

1545
01:08:16,520 --> 01:08:19,720
Speaker 9: her for a week while she recovered from surgery. I've

1546
01:08:19,760 --> 01:08:22,719
Speaker 9: paid for the vast majority of dates, given her money

1547
01:08:22,720 --> 01:08:25,280
Speaker 9: when she overdrew her bank account, helped her move on

1548
01:08:25,360 --> 01:08:28,599
Speaker 9: short notice, and always showed up for her when she asked,

1549
01:08:28,640 --> 01:08:31,040
Speaker 9: and plenty of times when she didn't. I rarely got

1550
01:08:31,080 --> 01:08:33,439
Speaker 9: to plan dates or pick what movies or shows we

1551
01:08:33,520 --> 01:08:36,960
Speaker 9: watched due to her refusal to compromise. The few times

1552
01:08:36,960 --> 01:08:39,759
Speaker 9: I asked her for emotional support, even on small things

1553
01:08:39,800 --> 01:08:43,479
Speaker 9: like watching home alone with me, she refused. She didn't

1554
01:08:43,479 --> 01:08:46,240
Speaker 9: take any interest in my hobbies, even those we had

1555
01:08:46,280 --> 01:08:49,840
Speaker 9: in common. She had next to no emotional intimacy. I

1556
01:08:49,920 --> 01:08:52,680
Speaker 9: had constantly forgave her for blowing up at me for

1557
01:08:52,800 --> 01:08:55,920
Speaker 9: little things, giving me the silent treatment, lying to me.

1558
01:08:56,400 --> 01:08:59,000
Speaker 9: While I always admitted when I was wrong, I've been

1559
01:08:59,000 --> 01:09:02,680
Speaker 9: giving so much about getting anything in return. I was

1560
01:09:02,760 --> 01:09:05,479
Speaker 9: asking for the bare minimum. She again just said that

1561
01:09:05,560 --> 01:09:09,120
Speaker 9: she doesn't think our communication styles are compatible. I did

1562
01:09:09,160 --> 01:09:11,000
Speaker 9: let her know that I didn't want to end things

1563
01:09:11,040 --> 01:09:13,640
Speaker 9: and I was still willing to work on us. I

1564
01:09:13,680 --> 01:09:17,360
Speaker 9: offered to get us a relationship counselor, but she refused.

1565
01:09:17,840 --> 01:09:21,400
Speaker 9: She was exhausted and couldn't do this anymore. At this point,

1566
01:09:21,439 --> 01:09:24,600
Speaker 9: I was exhausted too and agreed to end things. She

1567
01:09:24,680 --> 01:09:27,960
Speaker 9: never cried or anything during the whole conversation. She just

1568
01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:31,679
Speaker 9: switched between being cold or looking uncomfortable. By the end,

1569
01:09:31,800 --> 01:09:33,920
Speaker 9: I was kind of a mess. I think that.

1570
01:09:33,840 --> 01:09:34,759
Speaker 3: Needed to happen.

1571
01:09:34,800 --> 01:09:39,400
Speaker 9: Ope, I'm sorry that it is going so rough.

1572
01:09:39,560 --> 01:09:44,000
Speaker 7: Yeah, No, I don't know the like, Uh, I don't

1573
01:09:44,000 --> 01:09:47,200
Speaker 7: know what the attachment is to this girl. I mean,

1574
01:09:47,240 --> 01:09:49,760
Speaker 7: I guess like because it's been nine months, like you know,

1575
01:09:49,840 --> 01:09:52,200
Speaker 7: there is that well we've gone this far. Why can't

1576
01:09:52,200 --> 01:09:54,559
Speaker 7: we just figure it out and keep going. But once

1577
01:09:54,640 --> 01:09:57,360
Speaker 7: you like know, when it's over, it's over, and it's

1578
01:09:57,400 --> 01:09:59,200
Speaker 7: really hard to like kind of get out of that.

1579
01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:02,360
Speaker 9: You can hit that at any time. Like, at least

1580
01:10:02,400 --> 01:10:05,320
Speaker 9: you hit that before. You guys were like really committed

1581
01:10:05,360 --> 01:10:08,040
Speaker 9: to living together. And it's not like four or five

1582
01:10:08,200 --> 01:10:10,960
Speaker 9: years down the road and you're still having these problems.

1583
01:10:11,120 --> 01:10:13,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's like no kids involved, there's no pets, there's

1584
01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:15,000
Speaker 3: no you know, not that I know of.

1585
01:10:15,120 --> 01:10:17,519
Speaker 7: But uh, but I mean, like at least you were

1586
01:10:17,560 --> 01:10:21,120
Speaker 7: able to like figure this part out, even though it

1587
01:10:21,160 --> 01:10:23,680
Speaker 7: wasn't the outcome that you wanted, but I think it's

1588
01:10:23,680 --> 01:10:24,799
Speaker 7: the outcome that you needed.

1589
01:10:25,439 --> 01:10:28,880
Speaker 9: You tried very hard. Yeah, I think she wanted to

1590
01:10:29,000 --> 01:10:32,360
Speaker 9: drive back. You can't control that. Exactly Exactly a week

1591
01:10:32,479 --> 01:10:35,519
Speaker 9: or so later, I wasn't doing great, made the mistake

1592
01:10:35,560 --> 01:10:38,679
Speaker 9: of getting wasted alone at home, then made the horrible

1593
01:10:38,760 --> 01:10:40,599
Speaker 9: mistake of trying to text her.

1594
01:10:40,960 --> 01:10:43,280
Speaker 3: Oh not the wrong text. No.

1595
01:10:44,280 --> 01:10:46,360
Speaker 9: I asked if she thought about us, and if she

1596
01:10:46,439 --> 01:10:49,160
Speaker 9: was willing to talk. I got hit with, don't contact me.

1597
01:10:49,560 --> 01:10:52,320
Speaker 9: It's not coming across to you. So I'm being explicit.

1598
01:10:52,840 --> 01:10:55,559
Speaker 9: I want nothing from you except to never hear from

1599
01:10:55,600 --> 01:10:59,480
Speaker 9: you or see you again. I'm blocking your number. Contact

1600
01:10:59,479 --> 01:11:02,400
Speaker 9: me again and I'll be getting a restraining order. Go

1601
01:11:02,439 --> 01:11:05,120
Speaker 9: get some help and leave me alone. I haven't been

1602
01:11:05,120 --> 01:11:08,599
Speaker 9: doing great. It's just been rough realizing how I hardly

1603
01:11:08,640 --> 01:11:13,720
Speaker 9: ever feel appreciated, valued, respected, or prioritized throughout our relationship.

1604
01:11:13,920 --> 01:11:16,400
Speaker 9: I realize that I've made a lot of excuses for her,

1605
01:11:16,840 --> 01:11:19,960
Speaker 9: given her childhood trauma and this being her first attempt

1606
01:11:20,000 --> 01:11:22,840
Speaker 9: at a serious relationship. A lot of her points really

1607
01:11:22,880 --> 01:11:25,720
Speaker 9: felt gas lady, and it's messed with my head. That

1608
01:11:25,920 --> 01:11:29,080
Speaker 9: and the constant nickpicking kind of destroyed my self esteem.

1609
01:11:29,560 --> 01:11:32,400
Speaker 9: I honestly felt better after breaking things off with my

1610
01:11:32,479 --> 01:11:36,000
Speaker 9: ex fiance than I do after this breakup. Oh well,

1611
01:11:36,320 --> 01:11:38,560
Speaker 9: guess I have a lot of work to do on myself.

1612
01:11:38,680 --> 01:11:41,680
Speaker 9: I'm sorry that this probably wasn't a satisfying ending, and

1613
01:11:41,720 --> 01:11:43,240
Speaker 9: that is the end of that story.