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Speaker 1: Welcome to How to Money.

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Speaker 2: I'm Joel, and I am Matt, I'm Emily, I'm Kate.

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Speaker 3: That's right, and today we're recording an episode with our

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Speaker 3: wives talking about money.

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Speaker 1: That's right, man. This is our fifth annual. Is that

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Speaker 1: what we're gonna call this? We do this just about

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Speaker 1: every year, and specifically we do it while we're at

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Speaker 1: the beach. It's a way for us to not get

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Speaker 1: too far behind in the episodes that we're creating. So

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Speaker 1: we make a little bit of work with pleasure. And

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Speaker 1: we've got our wives here, Kate and Emily. And before

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Speaker 1: we get to the questions, Yanna, what do y'all think

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Speaker 1: about this house that we're staying in? Because I'll go

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Speaker 1: ahead and quick explainer. This is by far the nicest

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Speaker 1: beach house that we've stayed in, and I would say

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Speaker 1: that we come a long way since some of the

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Speaker 1: early beach days.

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Speaker 2: Have we Ever, we have more than one bathroom for

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Speaker 2: eleven people, so that is a win. Now, this house

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Speaker 2: is awesome. It has a pool, which is fantastic when

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Speaker 2: you got seven kids.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it looks like Kate does not like it.

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Speaker 1: She's just pounding over there for some reason. But o.

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Speaker 1: Kate does like it because well, it's got the dopest

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Speaker 1: stove that we've ever cooked on. Have you ever?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 4: No, and now I will cook on nothing else.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So that's not good for your budget.

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Speaker 1: You feel like it's worth it the additional money for

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Speaker 1: the additional luxury. I think it was.

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Speaker 3: I was thinking just this morning, how we Emily mentioned

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Speaker 3: a house with just one bathroom which we legitimately stayed

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Speaker 3: at in Jacksonville Beach. There was one like outside, but

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Speaker 3: then there was one inside, and so for all of

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Speaker 3: us to share that bathroom is literally like an outhouse.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, you when you were in there.

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Speaker 3: So it was like splitting that house was kind of crazy,

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Speaker 3: and it was we remember we finally figured out the

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Speaker 3: name spelled backwards it was it was called autumn Ott

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Speaker 3: and we were like, what does that mean? It was

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Speaker 3: tomatoes spelled backwards because they had tomato stuff all up

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Speaker 3: in the kitchen.

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Speaker 1: We were sitting there playing games, and yeah, I looked

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Speaker 1: up there and realized that, holy, it's like it was

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Speaker 1: It's like the scene in The Shining where the kids

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Speaker 1: saying red rum the whole time, and finally it clicks

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Speaker 1: and we're all kind of horrified.

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Speaker 2: That's actually exactly how it went.

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Speaker 1: Down, and we're like, that's why there's tomato parafernally. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, as the kids get older, it's like we need

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Speaker 3: a little more space and and so and this.

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Speaker 1: This is definitely an upgrade.

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Speaker 3: But I think it's nice to go from uh like

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Speaker 3: crummy slumming it, and it makes you appreciate the nicer

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Speaker 3: thing a little bit more than if you just like

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Speaker 3: upgrade all the time and everything's nice all the time.

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Speaker 3: So I don't know, I have fond memories of that trip,

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Speaker 3: even though I know, like going number two was weird

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Speaker 3: because there was one bathroom.

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Speaker 2: Everyone was there.

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Speaker 1: It was awkward.

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Speaker 2: I also want to just shout out that we have

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Speaker 2: no kids and diapers for the first time on this vacation.

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Speaker 2: Everyone swimming. I mean, the boys are on lifefest, but

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Speaker 2: they're swimming, and it is a game changer.

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Speaker 1: I feel more like a like an adult rather than

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Speaker 1: a parent chasing chasing a kid.

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Speaker 2: I've actually read a book, like maybe only a chapter,

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Speaker 2: but that is the first in a lot of years.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it's okay, different, definitely different vibes. Do you

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Speaker 1: So here's my here's my question. Or thought for y'all.

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Speaker 1: Do y'all have any regrets about this house, because I'll

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Speaker 1: go ahead and say I think I have been the

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Speaker 1: one that has had the most not cold feet. But

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Speaker 1: when we were initially looking at some of the different properties,

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Speaker 1: I was just like, Oh my gosh, are we really

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Speaker 1: going to spend? Like literally when you use Kate sent

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Speaker 1: it out as a joke, I was like, oh, we

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Speaker 1: could get this one, ha ha. But then we basically

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Speaker 1: the more we looked at it, the more we thought,

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Speaker 1: oh no, what if we got this, This would be amazing, zero.

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Speaker 2: Regrets, more jokes, no regrets, no regrets. Let's do it

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Speaker 2: again next year.

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Speaker 1: It's great. Yep. I think this one is worth the money.

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Speaker 3: It's an anial trip and I don't know it's even

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Speaker 3: proximity to the beach, walking there, the pool, all that stuff.

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Speaker 1: It's this. This is like it's definitely got the like

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Speaker 1: the value is there. Yeah, we couldn't go back to Atama.

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Speaker 1: That would be the one. Like it's worth the money.

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Speaker 1: It's just it always comes under the individual, like is

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Speaker 1: it worth the money to the person? Like is it

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Speaker 1: worth the money to us? Essentially? Yes?

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Speaker 2: Yea seven kids, I mean the kids in the huh.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I mean you guys still reach out and

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Speaker 4: ask for a discount, didn't you.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, well, I think we had initially booked it

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Speaker 3: through Airbnb. And then this is a little trick by

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Speaker 3: the way. You see, you see who lists it, and

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Speaker 3: oftentimes it's a vacation rental company. And then we were like,

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Speaker 3: wait a second, we're still in the cancelation window. Let's

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Speaker 3: cancel this joker. After we reach out to the vacation

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Speaker 3: rental company and it was like thousands of dollars less then,

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Speaker 3: and and so literally I was looking up the dates

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Speaker 3: for next year. It's more than it's a more than

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Speaker 3: three thousand dollars difference if you book through Airbnb versus

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Speaker 3: booking directly.

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Speaker 1: Holy count.

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Speaker 3: So when that's when you're looking on airby me and

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Speaker 3: you see a place, don't necessarily book right away. Maybe

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Speaker 3: maybe you can see if the owner or the vacation

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Speaker 3: rental agency can give you a better price.

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Speaker 1: That's right, Okay, So let's go ahead and get in

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Speaker 1: the questions before hour before kids start making their way

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Speaker 1: up here after the movie runs out downstairs. I think

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Speaker 1: we should probably start this episode off the way we

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Speaker 1: start off our interviews, which is we always ask guests

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Speaker 1: and y'all know this, ladies, but we ask our guests

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Speaker 1: what their craft beer equivalent is, Like, what is their

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Speaker 1: splurge the thing that they spend money on that to

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Speaker 1: a lot of folks is maybe a complete waste of money. So,

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Speaker 1: first of all, Susanne, I think she wanted to know

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Speaker 1: if y'all like Kraft beer. But then secondly, like, what

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Speaker 1: is something you actually splurge on? And specifically she was

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Speaker 1: wanting to know if we have a splurge budget, do

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Speaker 1: we set money aside for splurges for us individually? Kate?

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Speaker 1: How about you kick it off?

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Speaker 4: Sure? I do like craft beer. We enjoy visiting brewers

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Speaker 4: and different cities when we visit, and it's just sort

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Speaker 4: of one thing we do when we travel, but it

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Speaker 4: is not my craft beer. Does that make it's I

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Speaker 4: love craft beer, but it is not my craft beer.

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Speaker 4: My craft beer equivalent, like money, splurge is probably plants.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I can attest to that.

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Speaker 4: Plants inside and outside, and probably also art supplies. Buy

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Speaker 4: so many art supplies for projects that are unnecessary but fun.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, that's what that's what mine would be.

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Speaker 1: That is something that you spend money on that. I

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Speaker 1: think most people would say, what you're spending how much

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Speaker 1: on paper or things that you think should not cost

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Speaker 1: a lot of money?

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Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, I also love craft beer and but yes,

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Speaker 2: it's not my splurge. If I was going to splurge

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Speaker 2: me in in this season of life, I think two things. Books.

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Speaker 2: I'm reading a lot of books, and I love books.

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Speaker 2: I'm willing to spend money on it. But also just

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Speaker 2: convenience right now, like we're doing instacart this week instead

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Speaker 2: of having to go to the grocery store, and it

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Speaker 2: is amazing. I wouldn't normally do that, but anything that

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Speaker 2: kind of is convenient, and this season helps speeds things

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Speaker 2: up or it gives me more time. I am all

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Speaker 2: about it.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'll say that I did go to the grocery

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Speaker 1: store yesterday, So what we might do with some is

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Speaker 1: car but yeah.

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Speaker 4: That's true.

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Speaker 1: We tipped you, though, we tipped you for yours.

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Speaker 2: Grocery store.

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Speaker 3: Uh, so we're going to get some more list for

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Speaker 3: questions later on. There were a lot of thoughtful ones

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Speaker 3: posted in the Facebook group. Can't wait to get to those.

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Speaker 3: But real quick, I think we should talk about like

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Speaker 3: this this time last year, our beach trip last year,

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Speaker 3: we were still not We were planning on moving, but

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Speaker 3: we weren't sure if we were going to pull it off,

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Speaker 3: especially our family. You guys were under contract or had

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Speaker 3: already even closed maybe, I guess on the house, and

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Speaker 3: we were like maybe. And then quickly thereafter we ended

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Speaker 3: up going on our contract on a place. We both

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Speaker 3: moved a week apart from one another, moved to the

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Speaker 3: burbs from the city. And it's been an interesting year, uh,

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Speaker 3: to say the least for our families, as we've adjusted

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Speaker 3: to kind of a new a new way of life

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Speaker 3: in a new place. So I'm just curious, Emily, in particular,

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Speaker 3: what has this past year taught you before we get

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Speaker 3: into like the hardcore money stuff.

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Speaker 2: Oh, that's a that's a big question. That's a fun question.

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Speaker 2: I think it's taught me resilience and adaptability, and that

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Speaker 2: it's important to look for the best and the good

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Speaker 2: and people and situations even when it's unfamiliar, and that

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Speaker 2: you are out of control in life more than you think,

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Speaker 2: but that that's not a bad thing.

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Speaker 3: Well, and I think partly what you're referring to, Emily

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Speaker 3: as well, like a tree came crashing throw roof, We've

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Speaker 3: been in a we've got rear ended in a car accident,

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Speaker 3: so we've been displaced out of our home for a

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Speaker 3: couple of months. So it's been for us even more

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Speaker 3: than just moving to a new place. All those other

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Speaker 3: things added in which is made We've gone.

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Speaker 2: To a lot of and how to usher three kids

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Speaker 2: through a lot of change. And so I think that's

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Speaker 2: just showed us a lot about ourselves and a lot

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Speaker 2: about other people, and how do you just make the

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Speaker 2: best of it even if it's not ideal, and how

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Speaker 2: to be grateful for what things are, even if they're

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Speaker 2: not familiar. I like control. I think I've said it

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Speaker 2: before on this podcast. I really like control. And this

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Speaker 2: has been a year in which I just haven't been

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Speaker 2: in control. But that's been a good thing. I'm also

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Speaker 2: grateful for where we've landed. It's been good. It's just

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Speaker 2: taught us a.

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Speaker 1: Lot what's specifically about the move. And so I mean

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Speaker 1: we've I think you know this, but we recorded an

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Speaker 1: entire episode, maybe right after we moved, or maybe right before,

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Speaker 1: talking about just the different reasons how to move and

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Speaker 1: the different factors that we considered. But what about moving

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Speaker 1: to our our little burb just outside of Atlanta. What

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Speaker 1: has made that, I guess worth the move.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Space partly. I mean we have a huge yard. Now,

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Speaker 2: we have a driveway for the first time. It is

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Speaker 2: hilarious how much our kids are like, it's a driveway,

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Speaker 2: we can play games a garage.

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Speaker 1: Like yeah, honestly, I know that I have made fun

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Speaker 1: of garages in the past. I'm like, it's a house

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Speaker 1: for your car, yeah, and like, who's going. But the

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Speaker 1: utility that comes with having a garage, it's incredible. I

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Speaker 1: mean all of the it's it's where you put all

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Speaker 1: the things that you use outside, but you don't necessarily

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Speaker 1: want to soar them. In's side, I'm like, Okay, I

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Speaker 1: guess I've kind of come around, you know, when it

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Speaker 1: comes to garages. But yeah, they're great. All the things

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Speaker 1: that were where we moved. Yeah, more space, like you said,

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Speaker 1: but just being closer to nature. There's a certain degree

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Speaker 1: of like the neighborhoods and the town encourage family life essentially,

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Speaker 1: Like there's a lot of things that make it I

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Speaker 1: think easier sort of like you're saying, like you're talking

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Speaker 1: about convenience, and it's certainly it's certainly possible to raise

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Speaker 1: a family in town. But I do think that, at

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Speaker 1: least for us, like there was a mindset shift that

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Speaker 1: when we moved out to the Burbs, we sort of

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Speaker 1: like when we talked about working out, Like when we moved,

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Speaker 1: it was easy for me to make this mental shift

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Speaker 1: of like, oh, Matt is somebody who works out now,

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Speaker 1: but that coincided with a move. So it was like

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Speaker 1: this physical, tangible change that took place. And I think

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Speaker 1: like the fresh start effect that we talked about with

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Speaker 1: Katie Bill exactly exactly, And I think something is similar

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Speaker 1: when it comes to sort of making some of these

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Speaker 1: what feel like sacrifices at the time, right moving out

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Speaker 1: of a city and having this it's a change of mindset,

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Speaker 1: while there is still sort of an actual change in

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Speaker 1: sort of the amenities or the restaurants or the festivals.

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Speaker 1: You know, Like it's a lot different taking our kids

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Speaker 1: up to the Square going to a Fourth of July

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Speaker 1: Parade than it is to take them to East Atlanta

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Speaker 1: Village for the Eastlana Strut, right, And we went to

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Speaker 1: both of those through over the past ten years or so.

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Speaker 1: But I guess, Kate, like I'm curious if you have

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Speaker 1: any regrets or anything you miss, specifically from living out

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Speaker 1: here in the burbs as opposed to living in town.

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Speaker 4: I don't think this is a regret, but I definitely

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Speaker 4: miss the community that we had built over sure fifteen years.

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Speaker 4: I mean that was those were old established relationships, and yeah,

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Speaker 4: we're kind of jumping in in the middle of a

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Speaker 4: lot of old established relationships now and trying to find

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Speaker 4: your way into a comfortable position in those people's worlds

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Speaker 4: is a little bit hard. They've got rhythms, they've got people.

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Speaker 4: They do this every Fourth of July? Do they do

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Speaker 4: that every Halloween? Like we are having to figure out

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Speaker 4: a lot of stuff sort of from the middle. It

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Speaker 4: feels like, I'm glad we didn't do this five years

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Speaker 4: from now. It would have been even harder, harder, Like.

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Speaker 3: We're trying to pull it or bust into Jerry's apartment,

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Speaker 3: But Jerry's apartment is other people's lives, and I agree.

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Speaker 4: That's what it does.

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Speaker 2: It's hard to be new. I mean, there's just a

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Speaker 2: huge learning curve relationally.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and everyone has been so kind. I don't want

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Speaker 4: to I don't want to downplay that at all. Everyone's

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Speaker 4: been so nice. It's just your in a rhythm of

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Speaker 4: doing certain things and you don't always think of that

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Speaker 4: new family down the street, you know, So it does

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Speaker 4: make it it's a little hard for me. I'm not

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Speaker 4: as bold of a person, and so I would kind

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Speaker 4: of rather be invited than like go out and show

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Speaker 4: up at people's houses. But I've got to show up

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Speaker 4: at some houses. I mean I really have like shown

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Speaker 4: up at some people's houses where I didn't know if

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Speaker 4: I was going to really know anybody. And I'm just

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Speaker 4: gonna see how it goes socially. It can be hard,

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Speaker 4: and you kind of do it like for your kids,

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Speaker 4: like you know, your kids need the friends too, So

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Speaker 4: that's kind of given me confidence to to pour into

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Speaker 4: those relationships and try to make them make the best.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, the fact is we are closer to a costco,

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Speaker 1: so that does make things slightly more affordable. As we've

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Speaker 1: been able to fully embrace the costco membership.

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Speaker 2: We're not joking about that it meets and all.

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Speaker 1: I mean I would again this is something else that

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Speaker 1: made fun of. But now that we live closer and

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Speaker 1: literally there's a costco closer to us than the Aldie

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Speaker 1: by like fifty feet. That's why you got the Kirkland

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Speaker 1: signature tattoo on your lower back. Then I love it.

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Speaker 1: You're all about it now, which I love pretty much.

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Speaker 1: All about it all right?

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Speaker 3: So I want to talk real quick too about There

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Speaker 3: was a listener question on a recent Ask htm episode

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Speaker 3: and it was just so fun to hear from a

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Speaker 3: listener who his girlfriend was in grad school to become

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Speaker 3: a licensed therapist, and so he was like, has it

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Speaker 3: like messed up your world as much as it is

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Speaker 3: to mess mine up? I gave my best reply to that,

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Speaker 3: talking about have Yeah, it has messed it up, but

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Speaker 3: in a lot of good ways too. So Leslie, she said,

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Speaker 3: how did you know it was the right time to

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Speaker 3: go back to school and eventually the workforce. You're not

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Speaker 3: in the workforce yet, you're still in school, but next

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Speaker 3: year you're going to start interning, so we're on the

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Speaker 3: precipiciode that and did the ages of your children play

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Speaker 3: a big role? What's that kind of it's been over

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Speaker 3: two years now you've been in school.

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Speaker 1: What's been like for us?

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Speaker 2: Well? First, my favorite quote has when Joel looked at

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Speaker 2: me after proofreading like my third paper and was like,

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Speaker 2: you know, I never knew I had so many problems

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Speaker 2: until you started grad school.

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Speaker 1: But it's big good Chris was bliss.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So I mean it's definitely rocked our world. I

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Speaker 2: think again, you know, being new, going back to school,

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Speaker 2: learning anything new, you know, it kind of shows you

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Speaker 2: who you are in a new light as you develop

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Speaker 2: new skills. But I think especially this profession which you're

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Speaker 2: doing so much introspection and internal work. So yeah, it

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Speaker 2: has It's changed us, and it's changed me I think

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Speaker 2: for the better. I think it's helped me feel more

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Speaker 2: steady and have a sense of identity and purpose and

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Speaker 2: less anxiety. But I'm also specializing in couples and families,

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Speaker 2: so we've talked a lot about our relationship and kind

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Speaker 2: of learned to say, yeah, this is good, but we

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Speaker 2: also long for more. So what does it look like

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Speaker 2: to love each other well? And where do we actually

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Speaker 2: need to grow? What are we not doing well? And

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Speaker 2: that's just a rocky process to be honest and take

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Speaker 2: a good look at yourself and your marriage and what

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Speaker 2: you've created and to call what's good, but to also

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Speaker 2: push yourself to grow. So it's been really really good work,

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Speaker 2: but it's also been probably an intense is maybe a

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Speaker 2: good word season for us, but good? And then I

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Speaker 2: love the question how did I decide to go back? Yes,

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Speaker 2: my kids' ages had a lot to do with it.

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Speaker 2: We had just I went back when my youngest was one,

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Speaker 2: so I had just finished nursing, and I knew that

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Speaker 2: we were done with having children, and so I kind

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Speaker 2: of felt some freedom to start thinking about what I

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Speaker 2: wanted to do next. I also knew I generally just

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Speaker 2: loved working and kind of loved the career it had before,

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Speaker 2: and knew that I wanted to go back to school,

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Speaker 2: and this is a direction I was probably going to go,

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Speaker 2: but I didn't actually have courage to do it. It

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Speaker 2: wasn't like my first choice to go back to school.

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Speaker 2: I think the pandemic in which it just took a

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Speaker 2: lot out of our family kind of gave me the

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Speaker 2: courage to say, Okay, I've given a lot to hold

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Speaker 2: our kids together through school and a newborn, what do

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Speaker 2: I want to do? And then I had another friend

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Speaker 2: who was in her fifties who had just gone back

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Speaker 2: to school for a counseling degree, and it was just

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Speaker 2: such an encouragement to think, you know, like I'm going

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Speaker 2: to do this. There's never a perfect time, but this

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Speaker 2: is what I've wanted to do, and I'm just going

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Speaker 2: to jump off the deep end and do it.

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Speaker 3: So, yeah, it's been a killer experience for you, but

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Speaker 3: I think it's been good for our family. It's not

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Speaker 3: always easy, right as we're having deeper conversations, harder conversations

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Speaker 3: at times, but it's also been really good, I think

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Speaker 3: for the kids to see you pursue something that you

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Speaker 3: love and something that you're really good at. And I

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Speaker 3: think it's helped you and I connect relationally intellectually in

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Speaker 3: different ways too. So it's yeah, not always easy, like

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Speaker 3: you said, but it's been good.

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Speaker 1: So quick follow then, and I'm going to kind of

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Speaker 1: jump around a little bit as we've got some of

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Speaker 1: these different questions. But has that changed the dynamic for y'all? So, Emily,

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Speaker 1: you're in school, you're reading a lot more writing, you've

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Speaker 1: got a lot of homework, that kind of stuff. Has

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Speaker 1: that changed the different at home roles? So this kind

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Speaker 1: of alludes to Jess's question. She wanted to know what

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Speaker 1: do you think about the balance of financial contributions versus

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Speaker 1: the domestic tasks or housework like the mental load of

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Speaker 1: managing a home. The labor is valuable. How do you

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Speaker 1: divide it?

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Speaker 2: Oh man, that's such a great question because you know,

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Speaker 2: as a family, we definitely value the domestic part of it,

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Speaker 2: even though you're not making money for it. But it's

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Speaker 2: it's really shifted the dynamics, I think majorly in our

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Speaker 2: home because I did even though I was still working

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Speaker 2: part time, I worked from home. In some years I

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Speaker 2: wasn't working at all, especially when I had newborns, and

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Speaker 2: I took on like a very large share of the

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Speaker 2: domestic tasks and you just kind of were out of

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Speaker 2: you know, you went and worked and did your thing there.

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Speaker 1: So I think we all took out the garbage and stuff.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, it was definitely doing far yes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and so we've really had to shift, Yeah who

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Speaker 2: does what? And I think, you know, it's not even

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Speaker 2: always this conversation where we had it intentionally on the

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Speaker 2: outset and lived it out. It was just kind of more,

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Speaker 2: you know, maybe things were falling apart or certain chores

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Speaker 2: weren't getting done and I was overwhelmed and we just

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Speaker 2: had to sit down and be like, Okay, here's a problem.

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Speaker 2: How do we fix it? Who who does it make

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Speaker 2: sense to do what? Okay, so I actually need you

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Speaker 2: to step up more here, and I need to step

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Speaker 2: up more here, and then this is just going to

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Speaker 2: have to go by the wayside. So it's definitely shifted

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Speaker 2: it for sure. We have a lot more conversations about

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Speaker 2: how to divide it, which is tricky being in school

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Speaker 2: because I don't feel like I can yet justify uh,

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Speaker 2: you know, I'm just spending a lot of money in

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Speaker 2: grad school and not making any yet, and so that's

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Speaker 2: been tricky for me to kind of have to justify

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Speaker 2: taking the grace to need the space and need the help.

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Speaker 3: Takes more communication too, I think, yeah, for sure. Right

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Speaker 3: although your six figure salary, I know it's coming and

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Speaker 3: that's that's the light of the end of the Yeah,

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Speaker 3: keep keep pushing. And I think we've also been less

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Speaker 3: afraid to hire out a few tasks.

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Speaker 1: Mowing the lawn. I used to mote a lawn all

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Speaker 1: the time. I don't on the law anymore.

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Speaker 3: We hired somebody to do that same with a once

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Speaker 3: a month house cleaning like that's it's something. Those are

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Speaker 3: kind of non negotiables at this point, so that we

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Speaker 3: have the freedom to just enjoy our lives a little

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Speaker 3: bit more and enjoy our downtime as supposed to always

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Speaker 3: doing chores. But also I think, yeah, allows us more

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Speaker 3: time for your schoolwork and for hang out with kids,

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Speaker 3: family time stuff like that.

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Speaker 2: And shout out to extended family. I mean, that's another

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Speaker 2: reason we did move to the Burbs. We're in your

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Speaker 2: family and we have a lot of family help, which

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Speaker 2: really you cannot put a value on. Yeah, it's priceless, true.

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Speaker 1: Which yeah, fingers well, yeah, we'll go down that path

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Speaker 1: just yet. But I'm curious because you're not in grad school, Like,

434
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:39,800
Speaker 1: what are your thoughts on like, basically, you are primarily

435
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,719
Speaker 1: a mom, you're primarily a homemaker, Like, what are your

436
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:46,520
Speaker 1: thoughts like between the balance of obviously the many different

437
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:47,479
Speaker 1: roles that women can have.

438
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, I am at home. I feel like right now

439
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,600
Speaker 4: my role at home is something I'm really thankful for.

440
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:57,360
Speaker 4: It's been a huge year of transition for us, and

441
00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:01,719
Speaker 4: being home and kind of being flexible and available in

442
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:05,840
Speaker 4: all the ways has been great for the transition for

443
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:09,880
Speaker 4: our family. I think being a stay at home mom

444
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 4: can be such a wonderful, noble, life giving thing. I

445
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,959
Speaker 4: think it can also be the opposite of that, and

446
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:22,440
Speaker 4: so I feel like I kind of do the best

447
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,680
Speaker 4: I can to maintain my identity in that. And I

448
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:28,200
Speaker 4: think that's what makes it sustainable for.

449
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:32,000
Speaker 1: Me right now, Like finding the balance between you as

450
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,200
Speaker 1: an individual versus the role that you're playing.

451
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:36,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it could take over and I could

452
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,520
Speaker 4: just disappear into the work of it. And I think

453
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:44,040
Speaker 4: finding within stay at home mom the things that are

454
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:47,000
Speaker 4: part of who I am at my core, like doing

455
00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:50,480
Speaker 4: art alongside my kids, or working in the art and

456
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,760
Speaker 4: landscaping while they're out there. You know, I enjoy cooking,

457
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:57,679
Speaker 4: so even like finding myself a little bit in that.

458
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,879
Speaker 4: Just I mean, I'm just kind of doing the day

459
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,440
Speaker 4: home mom thing my own way. It does not look

460
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:05,800
Speaker 4: like Instagram, does not look like right the people around

461
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:09,840
Speaker 4: us even sometimes it feels like but it's it's my

462
00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:11,480
Speaker 4: own version of it. And it's the way that it's

463
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,720
Speaker 4: sustainable for me is that it just has to it.

464
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:16,840
Speaker 4: Just I think it's important for our kids to see

465
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 4: our own identity, whether or not that's in your career

466
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,439
Speaker 4: or just in the things that you love and the

467
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:26,200
Speaker 4: things you do around them and prioritize and so yeah,

468
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,080
Speaker 4: I think I'm just finding my version of it right now.

469
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,640
Speaker 1: Totally. Yeah, I love I really like that. I really

470
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:34,120
Speaker 1: like thinking through what is it that we're communicating specifically

471
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:37,280
Speaker 1: with you being the primary parent at home throughout the

472
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:40,320
Speaker 1: day and carpool and all that, But everything we do

473
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:43,280
Speaker 1: communicate something to our kids, and I think it's worth

474
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,440
Speaker 1: thinking through, like, all right, what are we teaching them

475
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,879
Speaker 1: through this? What are we teaching them by saying no

476
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 1: in this case, or what are we teaching them by

477
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,159
Speaker 1: saying yes in this other way, or just the.

478
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,480
Speaker 4: Way they see their mom living their life, Like our

479
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:58,520
Speaker 4: house might be messy, but I'm doing making something beautiful

480
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,879
Speaker 4: or whatever I'm doing, Like they I've got three girls

481
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 4: who may go straight into the workforce or maybe a

482
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,320
Speaker 4: stay at home mom, and I just want them to

483
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:10,879
Speaker 4: know that whichever direction they go or their personal identity

484
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:14,919
Speaker 4: is going to be a big part of their family culture.

485
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 4: And so you can exhibit that in a number of

486
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:18,120
Speaker 4: different ways.

487
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:19,600
Speaker 1: Totally, Yeah. I wanted to bring that up cause I

488
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,399
Speaker 1: think it's awesome that I mean that, y'all, Emily, you

489
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:25,520
Speaker 1: and Kate are very different, at least at this snapshot,

490
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 1: at this point in time, Like I almost wish that

491
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:31,720
Speaker 1: like Joel was a stale home dad and like I

492
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:32,879
Speaker 1: was the one that worked or something like that, to

493
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 1: be able to provide some of the variety, because I

494
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,440
Speaker 1: think the variety and seeing that there's a lot of

495
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,960
Speaker 1: folks out there doing different things but you can still

496
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:43,240
Speaker 1: do it well, live a great life and do well

497
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,240
Speaker 1: from a financial standpoint as well, that all of that's possible.

498
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,520
Speaker 1: It may not look exactly like you said, like some

499
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:51,240
Speaker 1: folks lifestyle and Instagram. You may not be able to

500
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,399
Speaker 1: afford every single thing that you want. There are going

501
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,840
Speaker 1: to be sacrifice as often if you only have a

502
00:22:56,880 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 1: single partner that's working, But that doesn't mean it's not possible.

503
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, so you mentioned money there. We've got

504
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:06,160
Speaker 3: some more money questions lined up from listeners. We'll get

505
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 3: to a bunch of those. We'll get to that right

506
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:08,199
Speaker 3: after this.

507
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 1: All right, we are back and we're gonna kind of

508
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,399
Speaker 1: dive it more into We've been talking more about like

509
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:23,360
Speaker 1: life and living, which I think is a good thing,

510
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,640
Speaker 1: but we certainly want to make sure that we're tackling

511
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,560
Speaker 1: some of the specific money questions that listeners had, and

512
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,919
Speaker 1: so let's get straight to it. H Jessica, she asked.

513
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,960
Speaker 1: She said, what's one budgeting or money saving idea that

514
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,879
Speaker 1: you had to talk your husband out of? Or vice versa.

515
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,119
Speaker 1: I guess something maybe that you had to talk us

516
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 1: into or vice versa. What's something that we had to

517
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 1: talk you out of?

518
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:45,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, this way? Do you read it?

519
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:46,640
Speaker 1: Which way do you think she's asking it?

520
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 4: I don't know, but I read it. Do I have

521
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:50,920
Speaker 4: to talk to you out of stuff? Or do you

522
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:53,200
Speaker 4: have to talk me out of stuff? And generally Matt

523
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,440
Speaker 4: has to talk me out of stuff.

524
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 1: I think of spending money or talk you out of

525
00:23:57,920 --> 00:23:58,960
Speaker 1: different ways to save money.

526
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:00,440
Speaker 4: Well, that's what I was trying to think through because

527
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 4: it's it's sometimes financially financially related, but it's some it's

528
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:08,160
Speaker 4: oftentimes just like something big and giant that our family

529
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:08,720
Speaker 4: doesn't need to.

530
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:13,119
Speaker 2: Take on, like a expense, or like a farm, like

531
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:13,920
Speaker 2: a farm in the book.

532
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, like do we need which we need to fence

533
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:19,359
Speaker 4: in our entire front yard so I can grow like

534
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 4: corn and oakrah without the deer eating it? Like maybe

535
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 4: I have a whole spreadsheet about that. Maybe I do,

536
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:29,880
Speaker 4: And maybe Matt said no, but it's no, he would

537
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 4: never say no. But It was a long conversation about

538
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:35,160
Speaker 4: like what makes the most sense for us to do,

539
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 4: and it it wasn't uh that.

540
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,439
Speaker 1: So you're saying then that I am talking you out

541
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 1: of spending money.

542
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,760
Speaker 4: Yes, but I don't think it really comes down to money.

543
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 4: I think it just comes down to like that just

544
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,560
Speaker 4: isn't practical that just like you dreamed about it and

545
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:53,160
Speaker 4: thought about for too long one day and it got

546
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,639
Speaker 4: too big and it's too much to ask of our family,

547
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,679
Speaker 4: like financially part of it, but also just farming.

548
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,119
Speaker 1: I get it. Yeah, Emily, is there something that Joel's like?

549
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,040
Speaker 1: I feel like maybe this one, this question might be

550
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 1: geared more towards because Joel is like the ultra Google

551
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:11,159
Speaker 1: borderline cheap when it comes to the different hoops that

552
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,879
Speaker 1: he's willing to make his family jump through, specifically you,

553
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:14,720
Speaker 1: I am sitting here.

554
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,800
Speaker 2: This question immediately made me think in all seriousness, when

555
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 2: we were pregnant with our first child, Joel was like,

556
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:24,119
Speaker 2: what was any and natal nurse practitioner? She can do

557
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 2: this at home, right, Like, we don't need to go

558
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,200
Speaker 2: to the hospital. We can save a lot of money

559
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 2: if your mom just comes in and helps you have

560
00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 2: a baby, Like that is not how this works. You know,

561
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,199
Speaker 2: in general, Joel is an idea machine for sure. I

562
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 2: think there are a million ideas money same ideas that

563
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:46,400
Speaker 2: go through his head every day. Any verbally processes most

564
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:46,720
Speaker 2: of them.

565
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:48,119
Speaker 1: I was going to say, you don't even hear all

566
00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:48,800
Speaker 1: of them. I know.

567
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:55,479
Speaker 2: That's the scary thing. And I think, my usual what

568
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 2: do I have to you know, I don't talk him

569
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 2: in or out of it. I think I more just

570
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:02,840
Speaker 2: ask reflective questions, typically, which is how much time is

571
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 2: that going to take, like a.

572
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 1: Real counselor don't provide the answer, let him discover the

573
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 1: answer on the zone.

574
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,119
Speaker 2: Let's reflect. Do you have time for this? You know,

575
00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 2: I'm thinking of this.

576
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:19,920
Speaker 1: Recent jedi now at this point he doesn't even know. Yeah.

577
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,120
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm generally up for it. Like I he's

578
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,320
Speaker 2: great at saving money and being free girl and getting creative.

579
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,359
Speaker 2: I just kind of know my boundaries, like we have

580
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,280
Speaker 2: a limited amount of time and I have a limited

581
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,040
Speaker 2: amount of patients. Can it fit within that? If so, great,

582
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:36,400
Speaker 2: go for it. You know, Like he wanted a phone

583
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 2: upgrade and like bought an iPhone to trade it in

584
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,359
Speaker 2: for an Android that was cheaper, and I don't even know,

585
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 2: but I was like, literally.

586
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 1: Bought one on Facebook Marketplace.

587
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:45,960
Speaker 3: I talked about that because Google had such a good

588
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:47,600
Speaker 3: trade in and I did it.

589
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 1: But I know you were a little skeptical.

590
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:51,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I was like, look, I need a new phone,

591
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:53,399
Speaker 2: like can you make this happen? And can you do

592
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 2: this quickly? And so I think that's more I we

593
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,600
Speaker 2: talk about it because there's a lot of ideas that

594
00:26:58,600 --> 00:26:59,360
Speaker 2: fly through our house.

595
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 1: Ye all, was there a recent fight because the next question,

596
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:06,200
Speaker 1: this one is from JJ, what's the largest monetary decision

597
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:09,439
Speaker 1: that you and your spouse disagreed on? How did it resolve?

598
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 1: So basically they're looking for the dirt.

599
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 2: No, we got a lot of diner other.

600
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 1: Than the pregnancy, which, by the way, having had to

601
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 1: pay cash out of pocket, that's I mean. We were

602
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 1: literally talking through different ways we could have a baby

603
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 1: on the chee you should have had, Emily's mom is

604
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:26,679
Speaker 1: what you should have had.

605
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:28,480
Speaker 2: Probably you heard my mom was like, no way, will

606
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 2: I ever delivered your child?

607
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,680
Speaker 1: But yeah, like, aside from some of the smaller things,

608
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:36,840
Speaker 1: was there a big one where y'all were at odds.

609
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,679
Speaker 2: Kay, you know, Kate and I were even talking about this,

610
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 2: it's that's such a great question, and yes, we're definitely

611
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:44,960
Speaker 2: at odds. To be honest, I feel like the bigger

612
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,840
Speaker 2: things are easy to agree on, like how we're going

613
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 2: to invest money or the ways we want to save,

614
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,119
Speaker 2: or do we renovate or buy a house or are

615
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:53,040
Speaker 2: those big things we've been on the same page. It's

616
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 2: the small things that I think we get tripped up on,

617
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 2: like do our kids need a new backpack every school year?

618
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:00,320
Speaker 2: You know, I want them to get one, and Jill like, no,

619
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 2: they don't need one out of principle, work just fine, Yeah, exactly,

620
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:04,520
Speaker 2: And so it's.

621
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:06,200
Speaker 1: This tells those other kids to get off my lawn.

622
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:10,479
Speaker 2: It's the smaller things that I think kinda trip us

623
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,399
Speaker 2: up at times that we tend to get stuck on.

624
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's true.

625
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:19,679
Speaker 3: And I think it's a mental blockade for me that

626
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 3: leads to those discussions oftentimes, and usually it's something I

627
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,400
Speaker 3: just have to get over and be like, yeah, you're right.

628
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:27,560
Speaker 2: Well, and I think that's pretty common. I mean, life

629
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,920
Speaker 2: really is made up of small moments rather than the

630
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:32,440
Speaker 2: large ones, which is true financially, it's all the small

631
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:33,920
Speaker 2: decisions you're continually making.

632
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, that could be tricky for sure. Okay, is one

633
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,040
Speaker 1: come to mind as far as disagreement that we had.

634
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 1: We are in perfect harmony and we are in unison

635
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,640
Speaker 1: when it comes to how it is we spent except

636
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:46,400
Speaker 1: for the fence.

637
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:48,760
Speaker 2: Fence, see except for the farm in the back.

638
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 1: Can you cage match it inside of that? Okrah? Growing

639
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 1: fence is my question? So you I mean you literally

640
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 1: you brought that up and literally that probably is one

641
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:58,959
Speaker 1: of the bigger disagreements that we've had. And not unlike Emily.

642
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 1: It comes down to think asking some of those questions.

643
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 1: And it's not just addressing the fence. It's like where

644
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 1: you know, you ask the questions to get to what's

645
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 1: underneath that, but kind of asking those questions, figuring out

646
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,640
Speaker 1: what's practical and honestly, I think figuring out like what

647
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 1: the trade offs are going to be, because it's like, Okay,

648
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 1: we can figure we can decide that, like this is

649
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:20,480
Speaker 1: something that we prioritize, But what does this mean for us?

650
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 1: Not just now, but what does this mean for us

651
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:26,600
Speaker 1: for instance down the road if we keep dumping that's

652
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 1: negative connotation, I want to say dumping. If we keep

653
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 1: spending money on you know, on our current home. What

654
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,480
Speaker 1: does that mean for our ability to potentially move to

655
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,880
Speaker 1: a home that has a room for each one of

656
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:37,640
Speaker 1: our kids, which might be nice in a couple of years.

657
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 1: That kind of thing. I think those are the sort

658
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 1: of concessions that you make when you buy things now,

659
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 1: and comes down to asking some of those questions, trying

660
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 1: to figure out what is it that ultimately want?

661
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,120
Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, I mean really, the disagreement was not a

662
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 4: financial one. The disagreement was an emotional one, where like

663
00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 4: I had pictured this whole thing it was going to

664
00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:03,960
Speaker 4: be beautiful and wonderful, and the finances of it didn't

665
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:06,800
Speaker 4: make sense and the brass tacks of it didn't make sense,

666
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 4: but emotionally, I was really excited about it. And so

667
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 4: having a super practical conversation about something I'm like kind

668
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,960
Speaker 4: of emotionally swept up in. It's just a kind of

669
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 4: recipe for disaster, is sort of how I see it.

670
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 4: So I don't really know how better we could have

671
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 4: resolved it, Like we just had to keep talking about it,

672
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 4: and I had to kind of like come down off

673
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 4: my mountain a little bit. But it was, Yeah, it

674
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 4: was just an emotional thing, and I feel like a

675
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:35,400
Speaker 4: lot of our conversations with finances, we are able to

676
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 4: keep the emotion out of the conversations because things are

677
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 4: pretty labeled and numbered at our house and this was

678
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 4: just not And so it did show us why it

679
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 4: is so helpful for us to have most things in

680
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 4: little boxes, because this one thing wasn't in a box,

681
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:54,080
Speaker 4: and it was like a big conversation.

682
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 1: Sure. Yeah. Basically what we're talking about is budgeting. And

683
00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:58,520
Speaker 1: so at the beginning of this year, we sat down

684
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:00,920
Speaker 1: and we decided, Okay, how much money are we going

685
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:02,400
Speaker 1: to spend this year on the house, And not only

686
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 1: how much money, but what specifically is that money going

687
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,520
Speaker 1: to go towards, like what projects? And like you said,

688
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 1: this was new and not included on that and doesn't

689
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 1: mean we're not necessarily going to consider in the future,

690
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:14,880
Speaker 1: but for this year, it's like, Okay, we're kind of

691
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:17,440
Speaker 1: at our limit. We're we're tapped out regarding how much

692
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 1: money we just proactively decided that we were going to

693
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,840
Speaker 1: spend this year. So, I mean, we're talking basically about

694
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 1: sticking to a budget, not necessarily. I'm not a dream

695
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 1: killer as well, Like that's not my intention. The intention

696
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 1: is to say, like a trainer would right, like a

697
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 1: physical coach, like a coach or any kind of coach.

698
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 1: It's like, hey, this is something that we said was

699
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:38,520
Speaker 1: important to us, that we said, this is what we're

700
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 1: going to do. Can we do that? You know? Is

701
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:42,840
Speaker 1: this something that we can push off to next year

702
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:45,200
Speaker 1: and maybe you know what boom, nothing like rises to

703
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 1: the top of the top of the pile for next

704
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 1: year and it's something that we knock out at the

705
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 1: very beginning.

706
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:53,080
Speaker 3: But Oka Garden twenty twenty four I'm talking about that's

707
00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 3: the that's the real campaign that everyone wants to see, which.

708
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:57,280
Speaker 2: I would love to say, I wish you could see

709
00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,960
Speaker 2: the all mixed front yard on a budget. They've done

710
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:03,200
Speaker 2: a beautiful job. It's amazing a lot with a little

711
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:05,480
Speaker 2: for sure. Yeah, it looks so good because they are

712
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 2: intentional and planned it out and thank you are good

713
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:09,960
Speaker 2: at executing every bit of.

714
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:11,640
Speaker 1: That in the shop like pros so one for the

715
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 1: danyg deer.

716
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:13,920
Speaker 4: Dear except for the deer.

717
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:17,120
Speaker 2: Do any listeners have advice on deer? That's what we need.

718
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:19,959
Speaker 1: Oh, we've done, We've done all the things, Kate, Just like, okay,

719
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:22,120
Speaker 1: I'm not going to start asking you to pee into

720
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 1: the picture and then go out there and creating an

721
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,400
Speaker 1: invisible boundary. But we're maybe I'm.

722
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 4: Going to kind of create a predator boundary.

723
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:29,880
Speaker 1: I think a.

724
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 3: Bazooka is one possible, but you might have run into

725
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 3: other troubles if you do that. H Yeah, with that,

726
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 3: all right, let's talk about younger us for a second. Man,

727
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 3: the good old days right there, These are the good

728
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 3: old days right now. But Kathy wants to know, how

729
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 3: do you adjust to handling finances together after you get

730
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 3: married and you guys are coming up on your fifteenth

731
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:51,520
Speaker 3: what are you anniversaries are? Or sixteen sixteenth, sixteen? You

732
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:53,840
Speaker 3: just have fifteen and we're coming up on our thirteenth.

733
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:58,720
Speaker 3: So yeah, getting married, adjusting finances as you come together.

734
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 4: And you got that, well, I came to our marriage

735
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:06,360
Speaker 4: with no money and no job, so we had to

736
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 4: really quickly figure out how we were going to feed

737
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:13,520
Speaker 4: two people and pay for bills and everything on one.

738
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 1: A very small minimum wage.

739
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 4: Salary graphic designers salary.

740
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:20,160
Speaker 1: In some ways, I'll say, is good.

741
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 4: Absolutely right, it was really good.

742
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:24,360
Speaker 1: And like, on one hand, it sounds really intimidating, but

743
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 1: it's also man, is it easier to do that when

744
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:30,080
Speaker 1: you don't have habits or bad habits or poor spending

745
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 1: patterns ingrained where you're trying to hit reset on those things.

746
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 1: Because I think a lot of folks are finding themselves

747
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 1: as single individuals where they're working for maybe a decade,

748
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 1: earning a pretty good salary. They're able to do whatever

749
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:45,400
Speaker 1: it is that they want with their money. Taking that

750
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:47,520
Speaker 1: to a relationship trying to figure out what to do

751
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 1: that was more kind of y'all y'all situation a little bit.

752
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 1: It's the Yeah, I think that you're right.

753
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 3: The older you get, the more you are self reliant,

754
00:33:56,120 --> 00:34:00,480
Speaker 3: the harder ways to combine and then and to merge

755
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:04,520
Speaker 3: everything together. We were still relatively young, making relatively little,

756
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 3: and so it made it easier, I think in a

757
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:09,279
Speaker 3: lot of ways for us to just be like, all right,

758
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:11,040
Speaker 3: we're putting all the one pot and we're doing this together.

759
00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:13,920
Speaker 3: But I do see how it's a different thing if

760
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:16,400
Speaker 3: you're getting married in your mid to late thirties or

761
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 3: forty something like that, and you're like, I've I've got

762
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:21,040
Speaker 3: my own stuff, i've got my own way of living,

763
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:24,080
Speaker 3: I've got my own budget, and I don't necessarily I

764
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,399
Speaker 3: love you and want to live together, but I don't

765
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 3: necessarily want everything to be under one roof money wise,

766
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:31,400
Speaker 3: I think I get where people are coming from on.

767
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,840
Speaker 4: That, for sure. I think for us we didn't because

768
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:38,440
Speaker 4: we weren't in that scenario. We went to a weekend

769
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:44,160
Speaker 4: Dave Ramsey seminar and got some basic budget tips from that, and.

770
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:46,719
Speaker 1: Well that's all. Yeah, at the time, as far as

771
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:48,319
Speaker 1: I knew, he was the only guy out there talking

772
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:51,120
Speaker 1: about personal finances, and I'd run across him in the thought,

773
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:54,480
Speaker 1: all right, just from a general not getting into debt

774
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:56,279
Speaker 1: or at least getting out of debt, and we were

775
00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 1: in a fortunate position. You now, now you're like the

776
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:03,920
Speaker 1: beneversion of Dave. Yes, I don't at all regret having

777
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 1: found my way into the personal finance space via Dave Ramsey.

778
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:08,640
Speaker 4: No, I think it was a great foundation, a.

779
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 1: Lot of amazing stuff for a lot of people, specifically

780
00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:13,600
Speaker 1: getting out of debt. But beyond that, yeah, obviously we

781
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 1: take a more a more nuanced approach refleshiable tactics after that.

782
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:19,360
Speaker 4: Sure, Yeah, even then, I think there were things that

783
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,480
Speaker 4: we weren't we weren't totally iron board with. We never

784
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 4: did like cash an enveloped situation because Matt was always

785
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:26,320
Speaker 4: about like credit card perk points.

786
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:27,359
Speaker 1: I mean, so we were.

787
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 4: Doing that way back then. But we had a we

788
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:32,960
Speaker 4: had a budget from early on how we were gonna

789
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 4: live and eat. And I learned really quick how to cook.

790
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 4: We never eat out like it was. It was a

791
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 4: like trial by fire way of learning to budget and

792
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 4: live together and not have any money all at once.

793
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:47,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think we learned together with the fortunate

794
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 1: position we found ourselves in.

795
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:51,719
Speaker 2: Yep. What I would say about confining finances that I

796
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:53,920
Speaker 2: feel like we're still learning because I think it gets

797
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:57,440
Speaker 2: it's different in every season as you have more money

798
00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 2: or less money, or children and things. And what I

799
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:04,040
Speaker 2: would say to anyone who's starting out combining finances is

800
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:07,560
Speaker 2: self awareness is so helpful because money, there's just so

801
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 2: much value we place on money that we're sometimes not

802
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:13,160
Speaker 2: even aware of. You know, what did it represent to

803
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 2: you as a kid, did you have it, did you

804
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:17,319
Speaker 2: not have it? How did your parents spend it? When

805
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,240
Speaker 2: you see your partner spend it in a way differently,

806
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:21,160
Speaker 2: what emotions does that bring up? Does it make you

807
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:24,840
Speaker 2: happy or scared? Like I just think self awareness of

808
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 2: knowing what money represents and what you want to do

809
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 2: with your money is so important, and just to remember

810
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:36,319
Speaker 2: that while the end goal is important, the process of

811
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:40,360
Speaker 2: how you get there as a couple really like seals

812
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 2: the deal. And so how do you learn to talk

813
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:44,640
Speaker 2: to each other? How do you learn to listen to

814
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:48,600
Speaker 2: your partner with their financial concerns? Can you have empathy

815
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 2: and understand and can you talk out the importance? And

816
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,000
Speaker 2: it's just a slow process. We're still doing it. I mean,

817
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:59,239
Speaker 2: you don't arrive I think the smooth joined finances ever,

818
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 2: you know, even if you're wealthy. So just learning how

819
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:07,240
Speaker 2: to process well and hear your partner and know yourself

820
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 2: I think is super important. Yeah.

821
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:11,400
Speaker 4: I don't want anyone to think that there's like something

822
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 4: you figure out when you first get married and then you're.

823
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:16,040
Speaker 1: Like set, You're set. Yeah, no, exactly. It is a problem.

824
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:19,480
Speaker 1: Like I'm still fighting, not fighting, but having disagreements over

825
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:21,279
Speaker 1: whether it's how much money we're going to spend on

826
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 1: the yard, how much we're going to spend on kids' backpacks,

827
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,000
Speaker 1: these types of things. And I think what's at the

828
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:29,400
Speaker 1: center of that is communication as asks or says discuss

829
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:33,080
Speaker 1: financial communication with your spouse how involved is she in

830
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:37,239
Speaker 1: the daily, monthly, yearly finances? And she goes on, if

831
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:39,000
Speaker 1: something happened to you, would she easily be able to

832
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:42,840
Speaker 1: pay bills, access accounts, understand the investments. Do you discuss

833
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,320
Speaker 1: financial goals both long term and short term? Does you

834
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 1: know your asset allocations? How often y'all talk about these

835
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:52,880
Speaker 1: types of things asides? So far we've talked about I

836
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:56,360
Speaker 1: guess situations that arise because of life, right, like, okay,

837
00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 1: kids are going back to school. What does that look

838
00:37:58,080 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 1: like as far as getting a backpack? But are y'all

839
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:03,120
Speaker 1: proactively talking about things like if you went to a

840
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:06,560
Speaker 1: marriage and finances conference, they might say, talk about these

841
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:07,399
Speaker 1: these types of things.

842
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 3: How often are y'all doing that? That's a good question.

843
00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:11,799
Speaker 3: I think this made me think a couple of things.

844
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:15,200
Speaker 3: It made me think, one, I need to probably do

845
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:18,480
Speaker 3: a create something to where if something happened to me,

846
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:22,319
Speaker 3: you have all of the account logins, passwords, and here's

847
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:23,239
Speaker 3: where all the accounts is.

848
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:25,360
Speaker 2: And and this was a humbling question because like for

849
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 2: the past six months, I've been like, you know, if

850
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 2: you die, there's like a half of our money. I'm

851
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:31,239
Speaker 2: not gonna know where it is. Or what to do

852
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 2: with it.

853
00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 1: Like we've literally been talking about my death frequently.

854
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 2: It's a great Now.

855
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:40,680
Speaker 3: They coming up, which like how much is that for you?

856
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 3: And so I will say this, like we have all

857
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 3: of the proper like, uh, we have life insurance, right,

858
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 3: we have enough an event where I would feel some

859
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:49,960
Speaker 3: of that, Yeah, you know some of that. But I'm

860
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:52,680
Speaker 3: also like I need I need to do a better

861
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:56,400
Speaker 3: job and really accumulate everything in one place for you.

862
00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:59,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, probably because you do take over most of the finances.

863
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:01,799
Speaker 2: I mean I'm not in it, but I will say

864
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:04,880
Speaker 2: I know every investment that you are in. I mean

865
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:07,840
Speaker 2: we discussed every investment or rental properties or whatever.

866
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:10,040
Speaker 1: That looks like you don't know about the goal that

867
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:13,240
Speaker 1: Joel has buried different locations in the backyard or she knows.

868
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,400
Speaker 1: I mean I know where that is. But right right,

869
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:16,480
Speaker 1: well you also should know.

870
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:20,919
Speaker 2: Okay, I'll be watching your life insurance those two. Yeah,

871
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:23,800
Speaker 2: So I think it's they're more casual conversations. This is

872
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,120
Speaker 2: where I actually love that we have because all mixes

873
00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:27,560
Speaker 2: to do it different than the large guards. This is

874
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 2: great to have do different perspectives. I feel like we

875
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:32,840
Speaker 2: don't necessarily have it.

876
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:33,120
Speaker 4: I also need that document.

877
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:38,040
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, unfortunately, like it's in a similar way

878
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:41,040
Speaker 1: like I think you I mean you correct me. I'll

879
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 1: let you talk that homework. You say it homework by

880
00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:44,680
Speaker 1: the way, for the two of us, you know where

881
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 1: everything is.

882
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 4: I know where all our accounts. I know the document

883
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:50,920
Speaker 4: that all of our account information is on and all

884
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 4: of our password information is on. And so I was

885
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:55,399
Speaker 4: thinking through after I read this question, like how would

886
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 4: I what would I do in this situation? And I

887
00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:00,239
Speaker 4: think I could just go through that document probably get

888
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 4: to everywhere I needed to get. And I do know

889
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:05,759
Speaker 4: where our investments are. I'm pretty sure I know where

890
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 4: all of the investment money goes. But it would be

891
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 4: good to have that document for sure.

892
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:15,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, well it exists, but we just haven't. I guess

893
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:17,400
Speaker 1: when we talk about it. So like she was asking

894
00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:20,360
Speaker 1: about like the you know, she's essentially asking about the regularity,

895
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:24,919
Speaker 1: and from a daily expending kind of standpoint, I feel

896
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:27,719
Speaker 1: like every week, ideally like three times a month, that

897
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:29,440
Speaker 1: the kind of thing I update to you. And I'm like,

898
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 1: all right, this is I get a perfect month.

899
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 4: I guess I Oh, yeah, I was gonna say, I

900
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,480
Speaker 4: think I get updated about once a month, where are

901
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:37,360
Speaker 4: where we are in our grocery about I feel like

902
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 4: that's the first update that I.

903
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:41,920
Speaker 1: Because that's one that you have because I do our

904
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:42,279
Speaker 1: day to.

905
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:45,400
Speaker 4: Day spending exactly. I buy all the things that we

906
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:47,640
Speaker 4: need for the kids and all of the groceries, and

907
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 4: then you pay all the bills and stuff like that.

908
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:50,880
Speaker 4: So that's our breakdown.

909
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:52,840
Speaker 1: Yeah. But then at the end of the month, I

910
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:54,560
Speaker 1: always like review with you. I'm like, hey, this is

911
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 1: kind of where we ended up. This is how much

912
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:57,879
Speaker 1: we went over, this is how much under we were.

913
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:00,520
Speaker 1: I'll do like a net worth update that kind of thing.

914
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:03,920
Speaker 1: So I guess it's always verbal though, like we never

915
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 1: sit down and I don't like show you the spreadsheets.

916
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:08,879
Speaker 4: I mean I can access it if I wanted.

917
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 1: To, and you know what, you know it's there.

918
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:14,920
Speaker 4: But it's really complicated, y'all. Yes, yeah, it's very complicated.

919
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:18,239
Speaker 1: So Matt doesn't do anything halfway. Maybe some folks call

920
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:20,799
Speaker 1: it like the oh crap folder or something like that,

921
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:23,960
Speaker 1: but basically, if something were to happen, something that literally

922
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,400
Speaker 1: lists it all out, how much is in each account,

923
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:28,040
Speaker 1: how to access what it's for.

924
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:33,839
Speaker 2: We all be doing it now when we get back.

925
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:36,560
Speaker 1: From the whole episode on this after we.

926
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:40,319
Speaker 4: After you'll write those up, yeah.

927
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:40,880
Speaker 1: Exactly, folder.

928
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:42,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you got to have some of those other

929
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:45,719
Speaker 3: things in place, like life insurance and and you know

930
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 3: where the money's at, and know you know the rental

931
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:50,560
Speaker 3: properties we have and you know, uh, you know where

932
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:52,760
Speaker 3: our money is at investigt Vanguard Fidelity.

933
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:53,000
Speaker 1: Right.

934
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:55,160
Speaker 3: Uh, no shock to anybody who listens to the show.

935
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:57,520
Speaker 3: But it's it's important to have all that outlined in

936
00:41:57,560 --> 00:42:01,759
Speaker 3: documents so that it's easy because even you leave behind

937
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:06,160
Speaker 3: a lot of turmoil if if you leave this mortal coil, right,

938
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:08,840
Speaker 3: and so you have to make sure that your significant

939
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:11,359
Speaker 3: other is prepared. But let's start about goal setting. And

940
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:13,719
Speaker 3: she wants to know how do y'all decide how much

941
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:15,400
Speaker 3: to save each year as a couple. How do you

942
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:17,920
Speaker 3: navigate which fun and or big purchases to put that

943
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 3: money towards.

944
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 4: We have an annual budget meeting and review everything from

945
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 4: the previous year, set goals, not just financial goals, but

946
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:31,239
Speaker 4: also lifestyle goals for the next year at that meeting. So,

947
00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:35,439
Speaker 4: but because our income is variable, we don't know going

948
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:38,759
Speaker 4: into that meeting, what if there's going to be a surplus,

949
00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 4: what is the surplus going to be?

950
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:41,560
Speaker 1: So this has always been the case.

951
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 4: This has always been our think pretty.

952
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:45,359
Speaker 1: Much since the very beginning. We've never had a set

953
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:48,120
Speaker 1: income for the year, so we've we prioritize and we

954
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:49,880
Speaker 1: know that, hey, we want to make sure that we're.

955
00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:51,960
Speaker 4: At least But we even discussed, like, I think we're

956
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:54,479
Speaker 4: going to spend a little more on grocery this year,

957
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,400
Speaker 4: So that's going to take our monthly budget for grocery

958
00:42:57,440 --> 00:42:59,759
Speaker 4: a little bit higher. But we also set goals for

959
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:06,359
Speaker 4: our travel and lifestyle. We are naturally frugal, and so

960
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:09,640
Speaker 4: we have pushed ourselves to spend a little more on

961
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:13,960
Speaker 4: fun things like kids' activities or extracurriculars for them, or

962
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,279
Speaker 4: a trip for our family. So we've had to push

963
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 4: ourselves on those goals a little bit. But because we

964
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:21,200
Speaker 4: talked about them in the beginning of the year, that

965
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:23,839
Speaker 4: money goes in, a certain amount goes in monthly, and

966
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 4: by the time that arrives, it's not a big hit.

967
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:29,400
Speaker 4: So we do a lot of goal setting.

968
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:31,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, atter like those are the savings buckets or the

969
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:34,920
Speaker 1: sinking funds. But what's interesting though, it's like what you

970
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:38,200
Speaker 1: literally are talking about ways for us to spend our money,

971
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 1: which is a shift because I mean originally when we

972
00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:43,759
Speaker 1: first got married, it was more about how much can

973
00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:46,880
Speaker 1: we set aside and invest and whatever it is that

974
00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:49,400
Speaker 1: you measure, you're going to see that improve. And so

975
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:51,520
Speaker 1: what we found was that over time, especially as our

976
00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:54,000
Speaker 1: kids have gotten older, that we needed to take a

977
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,200
Speaker 1: more intentional step, not in how much we were saving

978
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:58,239
Speaker 1: and investing, because we were doing a very good job

979
00:43:58,239 --> 00:44:00,600
Speaker 1: of that, because that is very quantifiable, but what we

980
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 1: weren't doing is finding ways to prioritize lifestyle, which is

981
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:06,120
Speaker 1: what the word you kept saying there, Like it comes

982
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 1: down it comes back to what are the different experiences,

983
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:10,920
Speaker 1: What do we want our kids to be exposed to,

984
00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:13,960
Speaker 1: what by the time they leave our house, what kind

985
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:15,799
Speaker 1: of things do we want to have done. So it's

986
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:19,200
Speaker 1: kind of essentially like almost like planning backwards to a

987
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:22,960
Speaker 1: certain extent, and that didn't necessarily come natural. So for us,

988
00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:25,160
Speaker 1: it's been over the past two or three years it's

989
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:27,920
Speaker 1: thinking through what do we want to do as a

990
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,279
Speaker 1: family together. And we've been fortunate enough to still be

991
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 1: able to save and invest a ton for the future

992
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:35,880
Speaker 1: and not having to worry about that while starting to

993
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:38,719
Speaker 1: loosen the ratchet a little bit when it comes to

994
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:41,520
Speaker 1: spending and giving ourselves permission to spend in some of

995
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:42,759
Speaker 1: those ways that are important to us.

996
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:46,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's like lifestyle optimization coming to the forefront, which

997
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,280
Speaker 3: even comes down to how we schedule our work weeks

998
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 3: and what that looks like and are we working too much,

999
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:54,879
Speaker 3: are we taking enough breaks? Or in the overall fifty

1000
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:56,960
Speaker 3: two week spectrum, but also in the five day a

1001
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:58,680
Speaker 3: week spectrum, do both of those look the way we

1002
00:44:58,719 --> 00:45:01,120
Speaker 3: want them to look? And money plays a part in

1003
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:04,359
Speaker 3: that in some of those discussions, right, because you can

1004
00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:06,880
Speaker 3: work more and you can dial up an income you know,

1005
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:08,840
Speaker 3: you can work as much as as much as you

1006
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:12,239
Speaker 3: want and really try to ratchet that up. Or you

1007
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:14,480
Speaker 3: can say, wait, that's probably not the thing I want

1008
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:16,919
Speaker 3: to optimize for the most anymore, and there are other

1009
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:19,560
Speaker 3: more important things that I want to achieve or ways

1010
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:21,680
Speaker 3: I want my life to look more balanced. But do

1011
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:25,800
Speaker 3: you have any thoughts on that question about yeah, big purchases,

1012
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:27,880
Speaker 3: where do we like to allocate money?

1013
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 2: So this is feels like a trickier question because we

1014
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:35,279
Speaker 2: don't have black and white goals. Honestly, I think we've

1015
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:38,920
Speaker 2: kind of just had goals we've agreed on in general,

1016
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:41,560
Speaker 2: which is we wanted to had an emergency fund, we

1017
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:48,000
Speaker 2: wanted to have enough cash flow to not feel stress.

1018
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 2: And then there are things I think we committed to

1019
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,360
Speaker 2: at the time, like school. We know, you know, school

1020
00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:53,960
Speaker 2: was worth it, and that was a goal that we're

1021
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:58,879
Speaker 2: putting things aside for your school grads scht my school, sorry,

1022
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:01,320
Speaker 2: my grad school particularly.

1023
00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:03,640
Speaker 1: Not flight school for your eight year old.

1024
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:07,640
Speaker 2: Or right exactly exactly. And I think in general we

1025
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:11,080
Speaker 2: have similarities that help. Like we love to travel, we

1026
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 2: like vacation. That's pretty easy for us to spend on that,

1027
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:17,800
Speaker 2: or frugal when it comes to maybe clothes or shopping,

1028
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:21,200
Speaker 2: so that's easier as well. I think when it comes

1029
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:25,200
Speaker 2: to goals and being on the same page for us,

1030
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:28,600
Speaker 2: a number and a budget doesn't always settle the conversation,

1031
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:31,600
Speaker 2: probably because we tend to be a bit more emotional

1032
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 2: or I definitely am more emotional, and so the meaning

1033
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 2: behind it is usually something I always have to talk through.

1034
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:42,480
Speaker 2: So if something comes up or pops up that you

1035
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:44,880
Speaker 2: want or that I want, I think it's a conversation

1036
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 2: about yeah, it's value and what it means and do

1037
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:50,440
Speaker 2: we have the money, does it stress other things? Is

1038
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:51,480
Speaker 2: it okay? Is it worth it?

1039
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:53,640
Speaker 3: Even if we have the money, is that something that

1040
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:55,160
Speaker 3: we value to put the money towards.

1041
00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:55,359
Speaker 2: Ye?

1042
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:55,920
Speaker 1: Right, yeah.

1043
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:58,560
Speaker 3: Can we wrestle with that internally individually but also together

1044
00:46:58,600 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 3: as a couple.

1045
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:02,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, So we're taught. I mean so I think. I

1046
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 2: guess it's hard to talk about it. Are hard to

1047
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:06,239
Speaker 2: know how to share because it's actually not super black

1048
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:09,800
Speaker 2: and white. Yeah, And it's just more about the conversation

1049
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 2: and the moment in the season of life.

1050
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:12,680
Speaker 1: I think too.

1051
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:16,000
Speaker 3: That's where something Getting the big things right means you

1052
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:17,759
Speaker 3: don't have to stress about the small stuff as well.

1053
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:19,399
Speaker 3: We do think about it in terms of like doesn't

1054
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:22,399
Speaker 3: align with our values, but not necessarily like oh can

1055
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:24,960
Speaker 3: we afford to buy plane tickets to Scotland? And is

1056
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:27,880
Speaker 3: how expensive can we really afford this trip? We don't

1057
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:30,560
Speaker 3: have to ask that question because we have one car,

1058
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:33,360
Speaker 3: it's older, blah blah blah, whatever the like, We've purposely

1059
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:37,520
Speaker 3: kept our mortgage, you know, far below what most people

1060
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:40,279
Speaker 3: would say you can afford, right, And I think when

1061
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 3: you do that, then those smaller things like we have

1062
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:45,640
Speaker 3: a large enough cushion where we can be like, yeah,

1063
00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:47,520
Speaker 3: let's pounce on that. That sounds like fun. We have a

1064
00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:49,799
Speaker 3: big almost like an opportunity fund. It's how I think

1065
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:53,120
Speaker 3: of it, and when opportunity comes along, we can pounce

1066
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:55,160
Speaker 3: as something really cool if you and I both agree

1067
00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:57,200
Speaker 3: and we think it's worth it. So I think of

1068
00:47:57,239 --> 00:47:59,560
Speaker 3: that as kind of like a fun approach to money.

1069
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 3: As opposed we're less rigid in our budgeting like you guys.

1070
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:06,160
Speaker 1: But I think that's a part of what Gen's or

1071
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:09,160
Speaker 1: is it Gin or Anna? I mean is asking like

1072
00:48:09,200 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 1: how because you said if you agree, right, and so

1073
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:13,440
Speaker 1: I think that's really what she's getting at. How do

1074
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:16,879
Speaker 1: you decide if you agree? Because because on one hand,

1075
00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 1: you might say, yeah, heck yeah, I want to go

1076
00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:20,839
Speaker 1: to Scotland. That's ands I do too, Like that sounds

1077
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:23,200
Speaker 1: like a lot of fun. But Emily might be like, well,

1078
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:25,840
Speaker 1: doesn't really sound like something I want to do. So

1079
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:29,239
Speaker 1: I guess I'm gonna maybe Anna isn't asking this, but

1080
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 1: I'm going to dig further, like, how do you decide

1081
00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:33,239
Speaker 1: if you disagree? Yeah?

1082
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:34,880
Speaker 4: What if you evaluate differently?

1083
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 1: Yeah? What if you value it differently?

1084
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:38,840
Speaker 3: I think if we kept budding heads over something and

1085
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:41,520
Speaker 3: I said, listen, travels really important to me, and she

1086
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:44,360
Speaker 3: says it's not to me. We would probably diverge in

1087
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:46,279
Speaker 3: some ways, and I might say, cool, well, then I'm

1088
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:47,920
Speaker 3: going to find a way to pull this off with

1089
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 3: a buddy or something like that. Or if you said, listen,

1090
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 3: this other thing over here is really important to me

1091
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:55,640
Speaker 3: and I said I don't value that. That's okay for

1092
00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:58,680
Speaker 3: partners to value different things, but you just have to

1093
00:48:58,719 --> 00:49:02,799
Speaker 3: make sure that both it equal access to be able

1094
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:06,000
Speaker 3: to pursue those things they love. Matt, I notice you

1095
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:08,000
Speaker 3: haven't been crafting nearly as much as Kate on this trip.

1096
00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:09,680
Speaker 3: You don't care about it as much the same as

1097
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:11,800
Speaker 3: that you but you appreciate I think her crafting this,

1098
00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:14,040
Speaker 3: and you don't mind her splurging in that way. I

1099
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:15,920
Speaker 3: think the same would be true of us. Like we

1100
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:17,560
Speaker 3: do share a lot in common, we have a lot

1101
00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:20,319
Speaker 3: of things. But or even something you're willing to go

1102
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:22,000
Speaker 3: to a concert with me, maybe let's say that you

1103
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:24,080
Speaker 3: don't care about as much and you're like, it's yeah,

1104
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:26,319
Speaker 3: it's worth it because I want to do that with you,

1105
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:29,120
Speaker 3: even though that's not necessarily the thing I would choose

1106
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:30,240
Speaker 3: to do totally.

1107
00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:31,960
Speaker 2: That's true. I mean this is such a great question

1108
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:33,600
Speaker 2: because I think this is at the heart of so

1109
00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 2: much conflict about money as we value different things, and

1110
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 2: I think what we're saying is there a different ways

1111
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:41,040
Speaker 2: to settle that. And I think there are times when

1112
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:42,799
Speaker 2: it really is a budget, like you just need three

1113
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:45,200
Speaker 2: hundred dollars to spend every month that maybe the other

1114
00:49:45,239 --> 00:49:47,520
Speaker 2: person just doesn't have an opinion on and it might

1115
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:51,719
Speaker 2: be considered luxury to them but necessity to you. And

1116
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:54,520
Speaker 2: that's how you decide that. And I think there's actually

1117
00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:56,839
Speaker 2: seasons in our marriage when we've done that, especially when

1118
00:49:56,880 --> 00:50:00,600
Speaker 2: we were newly married and money was tighter, and I

1119
00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:03,720
Speaker 2: mean we really started out with nothing. That was actually

1120
00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:06,359
Speaker 2: more of a way we handled it. I think now

1121
00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:09,799
Speaker 2: as we've learned each other a little even more intuitively

1122
00:50:10,200 --> 00:50:12,400
Speaker 2: and we understand the values more like it's sometimes just

1123
00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:14,600
Speaker 2: more conversation. This is important to me. Can we make

1124
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:16,279
Speaker 2: room for this? Can we not make room for this?

1125
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:18,480
Speaker 2: But I think it's a lot of conversations.

1126
00:50:18,719 --> 00:50:21,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, okay, so I want to jump real quick then,

1127
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:24,640
Speaker 1: because Lauren, she basically had a question that was right

1128
00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:26,640
Speaker 1: in line with it, Like she was essentially asking about

1129
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:28,479
Speaker 1: luxury spending. I'm not going to read her whole question,

1130
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:31,400
Speaker 1: but she was like, manicures, massages, different things like this

1131
00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:33,319
Speaker 1: that your partner or your spouse might think is a

1132
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:35,960
Speaker 1: total waste of money. How you justify that? And what

1133
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,759
Speaker 1: you said is right, I mean hit the nail around

1134
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:40,760
Speaker 1: on the head, which I think is kind of having

1135
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:44,800
Speaker 1: like a splurge account, some sort of fund that gets funded,

1136
00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:49,000
Speaker 1: like you said, Joel, that gets equal access. But you're

1137
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:50,920
Speaker 1: just not going to agree necessarily that that should be

1138
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:53,040
Speaker 1: how the other person spends money. But you should respect

1139
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 1: them enough to say, well, I love you, and even

1140
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:57,279
Speaker 1: though I don't care for those things, you should have

1141
00:50:57,320 --> 00:51:01,560
Speaker 1: the freedom and feel told not guilty to be able

1142
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:03,440
Speaker 1: to pursue those things. Do you all think that that's

1143
00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:05,640
Speaker 1: the answer is to have? Obviously is it can't be

1144
00:51:05,719 --> 00:51:09,120
Speaker 1: something that's like illegal, like there aren't illicit things that

1145
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:11,520
Speaker 1: are taking place that this person is buying where it's

1146
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 1: secretive and unhealthy in that way. But when it comes

1147
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:15,920
Speaker 1: to what it is that you value, do you think

1148
00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:16,760
Speaker 1: that that's a good solution.

1149
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:19,920
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I think it is great.

1150
00:51:19,960 --> 00:51:22,759
Speaker 4: We have separate categories that get funded every month, and

1151
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:25,920
Speaker 4: we do not, for the most part, discuss any of

1152
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:29,279
Speaker 4: those purchases before we make them. Yeah, so because some

1153
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 4: of those purchases are like, it's weird. It's weird stuff

1154
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:34,279
Speaker 4: that I bought and I just wanted to try out,

1155
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:37,279
Speaker 4: and Matt does talk about it.

1156
00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:39,960
Speaker 1: Modgpodge formula that waterproof.

1157
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:40,960
Speaker 4: Can you believe it?

1158
00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:42,240
Speaker 2: It is literally?

1159
00:51:42,320 --> 00:51:46,400
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm excited because a perfect example is literally mogepodge

1160
00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:49,839
Speaker 1: and you painting with the kids. What are they like oysters?

1161
00:51:49,880 --> 00:51:51,560
Speaker 1: And while you're doing that, I get up early and

1162
00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:54,120
Speaker 1: I go and work out at the local CrossFit gym

1163
00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:56,000
Speaker 1: and pay twenty bucks for one workout.

1164
00:51:56,160 --> 00:51:57,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're not going to talk about either one of

1165
00:51:57,600 --> 00:51:58,280
Speaker 4: these things, which.

1166
00:51:58,200 --> 00:52:01,760
Speaker 1: Which is exactly like you're not necessarily in agreement that

1167
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:04,439
Speaker 1: that's a wise use of my money and vice versa.

1168
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:07,239
Speaker 1: But we also have enough respect and love each other

1169
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:10,720
Speaker 1: enough and we know that that fuels something like that's

1170
00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:12,240
Speaker 1: good for us in different ways.

1171
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:14,719
Speaker 4: And I just want to remember I yes, and I

1172
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:18,760
Speaker 4: think it sounds exhausting to talk through all those little things.

1173
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:22,759
Speaker 4: So if it is below a certain amount, like I

1174
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:26,319
Speaker 4: just it comes out of this category that's just labeled Kate,

1175
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:30,960
Speaker 4: and I just send when I send over the numbers

1176
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:33,919
Speaker 4: monthly to Matt, I just say this comes out of Kate.

1177
00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:35,720
Speaker 4: This comes out of Matt.

1178
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:37,239
Speaker 1: It's like it's on a card that you keep up.

1179
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:37,759
Speaker 4: It's on a card.

1180
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:39,280
Speaker 1: Is that way if you need to make a return

1181
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:40,239
Speaker 1: or if it's not something like.

1182
00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:41,800
Speaker 4: I don't see it, don't discuss return.

1183
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:44,560
Speaker 1: We don't talk about it. It's a These are day

1184
00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:46,839
Speaker 1: to day expenses and at the end of the month

1185
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:48,200
Speaker 1: or as we're getting close to the end of the month,

1186
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 1: you just send me how much of that payment that

1187
00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:53,480
Speaker 1: you made to that card that's that then gets deducted

1188
00:52:53,680 --> 00:52:55,759
Speaker 1: from your Splurge account. So yes, we don't call it

1189
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:57,800
Speaker 1: as slurg account. We just call them like personal accounts,

1190
00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:00,800
Speaker 1: like there's a Kate account. And these aren't act separate accounts.

1191
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:01,480
Speaker 1: They're just buckets.

1192
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:03,839
Speaker 4: They're buckets within an account, and that's where like if

1193
00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:05,640
Speaker 4: I get my hair done, that's where it comes out,

1194
00:53:05,719 --> 00:53:07,000
Speaker 4: or if I buy clothes for the kids.

1195
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:10,799
Speaker 1: I'm the one that got a massage. I didn't tell

1196
00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:12,399
Speaker 1: you that. You didn't while I was visiting the folks.

1197
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:14,920
Speaker 3: That's something I wanted more to do more upsizes. I

1198
00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:16,920
Speaker 3: love getting massaged, but I do it like once a year,

1199
00:53:16,960 --> 00:53:18,719
Speaker 3: sad at least it's something I need to increase in

1200
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:19,160
Speaker 3: my life.

1201
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:21,359
Speaker 2: So just can the therapist in me say one thing?

1202
00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:24,640
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so I think that is I think that's

1203
00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:27,759
Speaker 2: a great solution. I'm actually just thinking of other practical solutions.

1204
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:31,040
Speaker 2: I've heard couples who they're in charge of certain categories

1205
00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:34,200
Speaker 2: like one's grocery, one's home care. And if you save money,

1206
00:53:34,200 --> 00:53:37,720
Speaker 2: whatever money you save budgeted, that goes into your personal account.

1207
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:40,680
Speaker 2: So it's like motivation, like the incentive. Yeah, there's incentive

1208
00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:42,799
Speaker 2: then to actually earn money within your own budget. So

1209
00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:45,320
Speaker 2: I think there's a lot of creative ways to do it. Again,

1210
00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:48,279
Speaker 2: I just want to emphasize that there's not necessarily a

1211
00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:50,719
Speaker 2: right way. I think it really is about the process.

1212
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:53,600
Speaker 2: If you are fighting over the value of things, I

1213
00:53:53,600 --> 00:53:55,960
Speaker 2: think you got to sit down and talk about what

1214
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:57,759
Speaker 2: it means to you and how you're going to solve

1215
00:53:57,760 --> 00:54:00,279
Speaker 2: the solution. Now, what that looks like. These are great

1216
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 2: practical ideas on what that looks like. And like, yeah,

1217
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:06,360
Speaker 2: the conversation may be exhausting for some, it's not exhausting

1218
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:08,880
Speaker 2: for us, you know. So I think it just really

1219
00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:12,239
Speaker 2: depends on how you're built. But I think knowing your

1220
00:54:12,239 --> 00:54:15,560
Speaker 2: partner and knowing what you value and having some practical

1221
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:17,719
Speaker 2: ideas like this, you know, then you can make your

1222
00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:19,520
Speaker 2: own recipe for what that needs to look like.

1223
00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:21,080
Speaker 1: That's right, all right, I feel like we're going a

1224
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:22,400
Speaker 1: little bit long, but we do have a few more

1225
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:25,040
Speaker 1: questions we want to get to you from listeners. Specifically,

1226
00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:27,920
Speaker 1: we're going to talk about like food, favorite meals, favorite stores.

1227
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:40,799
Speaker 1: We'll get to all of those right after this. All right,

1228
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:41,120
Speaker 1: we're back.

1229
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:44,160
Speaker 3: We're still having a conversation at the beach about money

1230
00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:46,880
Speaker 3: and lots of other things with our better halves today

1231
00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:49,120
Speaker 3: on the show. And this is just one of the

1232
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:52,719
Speaker 3: best episodes to record every single year, and I hope

1233
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:54,759
Speaker 3: listeners enjoy it as much as we do getting to

1234
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:57,279
Speaker 3: actually have this conversation. But let's make this more of

1235
00:54:57,320 --> 00:55:01,040
Speaker 3: a lightning round. We've got some questions that maybe don't

1236
00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:02,279
Speaker 3: involve quite as much.

1237
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:10,759
Speaker 1: Just like back about it longer, says the lady who

1238
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:13,520
Speaker 1: charges by the hour, right, exactly exactly, Just come back

1239
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:14,719
Speaker 1: next week. We'll fix it by that.

1240
00:55:14,840 --> 00:55:18,560
Speaker 3: On sure, let's go to one from Jen. She wants

1241
00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:20,880
Speaker 3: to know what are your absolute go to meals that

1242
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:23,200
Speaker 3: make all members of your household happy.

1243
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:26,400
Speaker 2: Okay, it's the food wizard. She should answer every food question.

1244
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:27,799
Speaker 2: She's a genius.

1245
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:31,040
Speaker 4: Our kids love fried rice, which is a combination of

1246
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:34,000
Speaker 4: rice and all of our leftovers, so that's always a win.

1247
00:55:34,440 --> 00:55:37,760
Speaker 4: They also love when Matt cooks salmon.

1248
00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:39,760
Speaker 1: Oh, crispy salmon on the griddle.

1249
00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:43,440
Speaker 4: Salmon, it is always a hit. Or if you smoke

1250
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:45,759
Speaker 4: any kind of meat, they love that too. Which but

1251
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:49,759
Speaker 4: we turn into like tacos or have with you know,

1252
00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:52,319
Speaker 4: mac and cheese and broccoli or something. Everybody likes all

1253
00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:54,799
Speaker 4: those meals. I get weird sometimes and I push my

1254
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:59,720
Speaker 4: family to eat weird things, but those are all easy.

1255
00:55:59,560 --> 00:56:02,600
Speaker 1: Current And I'll also say our kids tend to be

1256
00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:05,120
Speaker 1: very adventurous eaters. I think a lot of folks listening

1257
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:08,480
Speaker 1: are like salmon. Your kids like crispy, Like what does

1258
00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:09,040
Speaker 1: that even mean?

1259
00:56:10,239 --> 00:56:12,080
Speaker 4: I like the skin on the backs.

1260
00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:15,840
Speaker 1: So the trick is, we get the big fresh filet

1261
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:18,880
Speaker 1: from Aldi, never been frozen, and you get that griddle,

1262
00:56:18,920 --> 00:56:20,480
Speaker 1: take it outside because it's gonna smell. You get it

1263
00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:22,720
Speaker 1: screaming hot, put the hot oil on there, and salt

1264
00:56:22,719 --> 00:56:24,400
Speaker 1: the skin, put its skin side down and let it

1265
00:56:24,480 --> 00:56:27,279
Speaker 1: just go and that skin gets all crispy. It's like

1266
00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:28,200
Speaker 1: a potato chip.

1267
00:56:28,640 --> 00:56:31,000
Speaker 4: Also, Matt pitched it to them like potato chips, and

1268
00:56:31,040 --> 00:56:33,160
Speaker 4: so that's what they think it tastes like, and that's

1269
00:56:33,239 --> 00:56:34,279
Speaker 4: part of why they love it.

1270
00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:34,839
Speaker 1: That's the winter.

1271
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:36,759
Speaker 3: Now you're starting to sound like our buddy Franky from

1272
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:41,319
Speaker 3: Strugglemeals over there, just given recipes on the Yeah, all right,

1273
00:56:41,360 --> 00:56:41,920
Speaker 3: and what's that?

1274
00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:42,400
Speaker 1: Okay?

1275
00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:45,040
Speaker 3: The go to the meal our kids love is probably,

1276
00:56:45,160 --> 00:56:49,560
Speaker 3: to our ever loving shame, it's this spaghetti that my

1277
00:56:49,640 --> 00:56:54,440
Speaker 3: grand's just resp me from my grandma. And yeah, it's brown.

1278
00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:55,280
Speaker 2: It's brown.

1279
00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:57,560
Speaker 1: It's like it's from the active orange.

1280
00:56:57,560 --> 00:56:59,080
Speaker 3: Look right, is what I would say. That's how I

1281
00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:04,160
Speaker 3: classify it. And it's not nice, but it's it's made

1282
00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:06,919
Speaker 3: from canned soups and stuff like that. But our kids

1283
00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:09,839
Speaker 3: love it. They love it, and so I grew up

1284
00:57:09,840 --> 00:57:10,920
Speaker 3: eating it my kids.

1285
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:13,680
Speaker 2: I just want to make not that I eat it.

1286
00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:19,600
Speaker 2: I am having a Saladin, yes, but when I'm in class,

1287
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:21,240
Speaker 2: are gone. That's what you cook for them, and they

1288
00:57:21,240 --> 00:57:23,240
Speaker 2: love that chicken pot pie. I have a very simple

1289
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:27,600
Speaker 2: chicken pot pie recipe and make a lot. I am

1290
00:57:27,640 --> 00:57:30,000
Speaker 2: not a food wizard. Actually, pretty much all I know

1291
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:31,880
Speaker 2: I've learned from Kate, Like, Kate, what are you making

1292
00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:33,320
Speaker 2: for dinner? Tell me how to make it. That's what

1293
00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:33,960
Speaker 2: we're having tonight.

1294
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:37,120
Speaker 3: Well, they love mac and cheese. To make mac and cheese,

1295
00:57:37,400 --> 00:57:38,680
Speaker 3: a lot of mac and cheese goes.

1296
00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:40,919
Speaker 2: With everything, right, Kate, Kate tell me that one too.

1297
00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:44,960
Speaker 3: All right, Nina has a couple of questions. She says,

1298
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:47,040
Speaker 3: what's your favorite store to shop? And where do you

1299
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:49,320
Speaker 3: get your haircut? How much would you pay for one?

1300
00:57:49,560 --> 00:57:49,760
Speaker 2: Uh?

1301
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:50,440
Speaker 1: You know.

1302
00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:52,440
Speaker 2: One of the number one perks. But moving to the

1303
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:57,800
Speaker 2: Burbs is affordable haircuts. I found. Well, no, jo I

1304
00:57:57,840 --> 00:58:00,200
Speaker 2: go to the same place. Joel's mom goes to that

1305
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:03,160
Speaker 2: and okay, it goes too because she can cut and

1306
00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:04,920
Speaker 2: color hair for under one hundred dollars.

1307
00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:06,080
Speaker 1: So I did you not?

1308
00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:10,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is insane? Under is it? No? No? I

1309
00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:13,040
Speaker 2: think it's like maybe when I just get it cut,

1310
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:14,840
Speaker 2: it's still maybe it's color.

1311
00:58:14,920 --> 00:58:17,520
Speaker 1: I mean you're talking like, yeah, but you can you're

1312
00:58:17,520 --> 00:58:23,040
Speaker 1: probably Cheryl hook cut. Well, it's so you're paying four

1313
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:23,600
Speaker 1: to five times.

1314
00:58:23,680 --> 00:58:25,720
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's so cheap that we told our friends

1315
00:58:25,920 --> 00:58:27,960
Speaker 2: in the city who now trap out to the Burbs

1316
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:32,480
Speaker 2: to get their hair cut. Lisa's shout out to Lisa.

1317
00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:36,200
Speaker 1: Don't we're not going to share her number because right, yeah,

1318
00:58:36,400 --> 00:58:38,640
Speaker 1: we don't want to see her rates go up. We

1319
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 1: want her to be paid competitively. What she's she's like

1320
00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:45,000
Speaker 1: your dentist. Yeah, you know we talked about on the show.

1321
00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:49,360
Speaker 1: I edited that out so that well, I didn't want

1322
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:51,080
Speaker 1: it to sayd like I was disparaging his office, that

1323
00:58:51,160 --> 00:58:53,760
Speaker 1: kind of thing. So yeah, springs coming out of the

1324
00:58:53,840 --> 00:58:57,000
Speaker 1: chair as well. Exactly okay, but so real quick lightning

1325
00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:59,200
Speaker 1: a round. You have a favorite store, she was asking

1326
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:00,720
Speaker 1: about favorite shop, favorite store.

1327
00:59:01,320 --> 00:59:03,800
Speaker 4: I shop a lot of secondhand stores, a lot of

1328
00:59:03,840 --> 00:59:07,080
Speaker 4: thrift stores, a lot of antique stores. Most of my

1329
00:59:07,120 --> 00:59:09,120
Speaker 4: clothes are from the thrift store. And I do not

1330
00:59:09,640 --> 00:59:12,640
Speaker 4: hesitate to tell people all the time that's where I

1331
00:59:12,640 --> 00:59:16,440
Speaker 4: got my clothes. But I just love seeing people's old stuff.

1332
00:59:16,520 --> 00:59:19,320
Speaker 4: I think it's so interesting. I really don't like going

1333
00:59:19,360 --> 00:59:21,840
Speaker 4: to store and spending a whole lot of money on

1334
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:24,320
Speaker 4: I'll do that maybe a couple of times a year.

1335
00:59:24,360 --> 00:59:27,880
Speaker 4: I'll buy, like a new dresser, nice jeans, but I

1336
00:59:27,880 --> 00:59:29,840
Speaker 4: will say the last nice dress and jeans I got.

1337
00:59:29,840 --> 00:59:32,920
Speaker 4: We're at a good will near my house. People in

1338
00:59:32,960 --> 00:59:34,720
Speaker 4: the burbs are just putting stuff in the thirst store

1339
00:59:34,760 --> 00:59:36,120
Speaker 4: with tags on them, tags.

1340
00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:38,520
Speaker 1: On them getting the good stuff.

1341
00:59:39,240 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 2: Kate is also a thrift store wizard, so she comes

1342
00:59:42,160 --> 00:59:43,200
Speaker 2: home with all kinds of good mine.

1343
00:59:43,240 --> 00:59:43,960
Speaker 1: It's just a wizard.

1344
00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:46,120
Speaker 4: She is a wizard a lot to get into the

1345
00:59:46,200 --> 00:59:48,600
Speaker 4: bottom line, is a wizard.

1346
00:59:49,640 --> 00:59:51,800
Speaker 2: Okay, so stores, you know, I'm gonna be honest. I'm

1347
00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:54,959
Speaker 2: not a huge shopper, so I think when I would

1348
00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:55,360
Speaker 2: you say that.

1349
00:59:55,400 --> 01:00:00,600
Speaker 1: Joel does more of the household one of the grocery store.

1350
01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:05,040
Speaker 1: It is something to share with. Yes, yes, my mom

1351
01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:05,600
Speaker 1: loves shopping.

1352
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:08,280
Speaker 3: If I caught my mom, I guarantee you she's either

1353
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:10,640
Speaker 3: at home just got home from a shopping trip, or

1354
01:00:10,680 --> 01:00:13,160
Speaker 3: she's at the store shopping. So like, I inherited this

1355
01:00:13,240 --> 01:00:16,520
Speaker 3: gene and I tried to, uh, I don't downplay it

1356
01:00:16,680 --> 01:00:17,920
Speaker 3: because my mom loves shopping.

1357
01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:19,880
Speaker 2: So oftentimes I'll be like, Joel, I want these kind

1358
01:00:19,880 --> 01:00:22,480
Speaker 2: of shoes. They're kind of expensive. Here's a picture of them.

1359
01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:24,760
Speaker 2: You know, can you find them in Joel? Like, I

1360
01:00:24,800 --> 01:00:27,080
Speaker 2: honestly think you buy all my shoes. Like I cannot

1361
01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:28,760
Speaker 2: think of the last time I actually went shopping for

1362
01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:32,680
Speaker 2: shoes because you find them all. Yeah, this is what

1363
01:00:32,760 --> 01:00:34,560
Speaker 2: I want. Go find it and he and he does.

1364
01:00:34,920 --> 01:00:36,800
Speaker 1: I feel more like I'm like a dog chased it

1365
01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:37,080
Speaker 1: for a b.

1366
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:40,640
Speaker 2: He's a shoe wizard.

1367
01:00:40,680 --> 01:00:41,320
Speaker 4: I can be a.

1368
01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:43,240
Speaker 3: Personal shopper and this might be a side hustle.

1369
01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:47,080
Speaker 2: You really could. Yeah, so you know, I'm more intend

1370
01:00:47,200 --> 01:00:48,720
Speaker 2: to like when I'm out, Like I think if a

1371
01:00:48,760 --> 01:00:50,520
Speaker 2: family trip. I was out shopping with your mom and

1372
01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:52,960
Speaker 2: we ran into this little boutique and I bought like

1373
01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:55,000
Speaker 2: four things, which I usually don't do, but now like

1374
01:00:55,040 --> 01:00:57,240
Speaker 2: I've worn those four things all summer, Like I tend

1375
01:00:57,240 --> 01:00:59,400
Speaker 2: to buy things that I like that I will just

1376
01:00:59,400 --> 01:01:04,560
Speaker 2: swear a lot that I can. Yeah, experts generally. Sorry,

1377
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:06,560
Speaker 2: I wish I was more helpful with specifics, but it's

1378
01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:06,920
Speaker 2: all good.

1379
01:01:06,960 --> 01:01:09,280
Speaker 1: Target probably is another go to if it's like, eh,

1380
01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:10,040
Speaker 1: where else are we going?

1381
01:01:10,280 --> 01:01:12,000
Speaker 2: It's just quick. I mean, it's just easy. You can

1382
01:01:12,040 --> 01:01:13,680
Speaker 2: get everything a one stop And.

1383
01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:16,280
Speaker 3: I love Costco, but I refuse to wear any clothing

1384
01:01:16,280 --> 01:01:18,760
Speaker 3: on him from Costco. Sorry, sorry, guys, Like.

1385
01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:20,480
Speaker 2: It's just I have a pair of sandals.

1386
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:24,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, most of the clothing like it's just sorry, it's

1387
01:01:24,160 --> 01:01:28,840
Speaker 1: just for doesn't quite do it for they it doesn't

1388
01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:33,520
Speaker 1: fit me have a butting sense of style. Let's keep

1389
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:37,040
Speaker 1: moving U. Dan basically asked, like, and him and his wife,

1390
01:01:37,040 --> 01:01:39,000
Speaker 1: they're thinking about having kids soon. They're trying to find

1391
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:41,840
Speaker 1: that balance between saving a ton of money now, like

1392
01:01:41,880 --> 01:01:45,160
Speaker 1: saving and investing and getting ahead with their finances, versus thinking,

1393
01:01:45,480 --> 01:01:47,840
Speaker 1: we're about to have kids, we should splurge a little bit,

1394
01:01:47,880 --> 01:01:50,400
Speaker 1: go on trips. How do you think he should approach

1395
01:01:50,480 --> 01:01:54,320
Speaker 1: that whole, that dichotomy? Essentially, Emily, you have any thoughts

1396
01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:56,120
Speaker 1: as a mother of three, I.

1397
01:01:56,080 --> 01:01:58,600
Speaker 2: Think it's just it's both, you know, I think it's

1398
01:01:58,680 --> 01:02:00,919
Speaker 2: easy to think of your life as before and after

1399
01:02:01,280 --> 01:02:03,840
Speaker 2: with kids, but it's it's not true, Like they're not

1400
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:06,760
Speaker 2: the end all of everything. And so I would say, like,

1401
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:08,520
Speaker 2: if are there smaller trips that you could take that

1402
01:02:08,560 --> 01:02:10,680
Speaker 2: allow you still to save some but also to go

1403
01:02:10,720 --> 01:02:15,200
Speaker 2: on a trip, and it's just all are nothing, especially

1404
01:02:15,240 --> 01:02:17,320
Speaker 2: when you think about throwing kids to the mix. Just

1405
01:02:17,440 --> 01:02:20,320
Speaker 2: isn't I would just think more broadly, I guess, is

1406
01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:22,640
Speaker 2: what I'm saying, So take the small trips, make the memories,

1407
01:02:22,640 --> 01:02:24,439
Speaker 2: because it's so true you don't get that time back

1408
01:02:24,440 --> 01:02:27,200
Speaker 2: without kids, But you also need to save some for

1409
01:02:27,280 --> 01:02:27,880
Speaker 2: kids as well.

1410
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:30,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, the power of compounding returns. Like when I look back,

1411
01:02:30,920 --> 01:02:34,680
Speaker 1: I do not regret having saved and invested as aggressively

1412
01:02:34,720 --> 01:02:37,400
Speaker 1: as we did because of the options that it now

1413
01:02:37,480 --> 01:02:40,320
Speaker 1: affords us. Now, I mean true, but you agree.

1414
01:02:40,680 --> 01:02:44,240
Speaker 4: But that being said, we went on some predy epic trips.

1415
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:46,920
Speaker 2: Right, you know they're kids that are huge. I mean

1416
01:02:46,920 --> 01:02:48,520
Speaker 2: we still talk about those trips. I think those were

1417
01:02:48,560 --> 01:02:49,600
Speaker 2: a foundational we did.

1418
01:02:49,720 --> 01:02:51,800
Speaker 3: We try to do them on a dime and like

1419
01:02:51,800 --> 01:02:53,640
Speaker 3: whether it was a baby moon kind of kind of

1420
01:02:53,640 --> 01:02:55,400
Speaker 3: trip where it's like we're staying within the state but

1421
01:02:55,800 --> 01:02:57,880
Speaker 3: we're cool that we haven't explored yet, and we're getting

1422
01:02:58,040 --> 01:03:00,960
Speaker 3: like one of the cheapest per night places we can find,

1423
01:03:01,560 --> 01:03:04,200
Speaker 3: and we're driving, which means no airfare all that kind

1424
01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:05,760
Speaker 3: of stuff, or we're getting a lot of ways you

1425
01:03:05,760 --> 01:03:07,439
Speaker 3: can cut the costs. Yeah, yeah, I mean I talked

1426
01:03:07,440 --> 01:03:09,840
Speaker 3: about our thirteenth anniversary trip. It's gonna be to New

1427
01:03:09,880 --> 01:03:12,840
Speaker 3: York City and Southwest points like for the wind to

1428
01:03:12,920 --> 01:03:14,600
Speaker 3: book both flights. Right, So those are the kind of

1429
01:03:14,640 --> 01:03:17,760
Speaker 3: things where I think there's ways to do it, ways

1430
01:03:17,800 --> 01:03:21,520
Speaker 3: to skin the cat without like foregoing not maxing out

1431
01:03:21,520 --> 01:03:23,520
Speaker 3: the wroth or something because you're like, let's let's have

1432
01:03:23,560 --> 01:03:26,840
Speaker 3: more experiences before the baby comes, or like you I

1433
01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:28,920
Speaker 3: think you really can do both for sure, Like you.

1434
01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:31,440
Speaker 1: Should probably think more in that mindset, like you're not

1435
01:03:31,480 --> 01:03:33,040
Speaker 1: going to do one all the way and you're not

1436
01:03:33,040 --> 01:03:34,320
Speaker 1: gonna do the other one all the way. But the

1437
01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:37,040
Speaker 1: true answer is probably somewhere in the middle. But where

1438
01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:38,600
Speaker 1: exactly you're going to fall in the middle comes down

1439
01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:41,720
Speaker 1: to Dan and his wife and what's important to them and.

1440
01:03:41,760 --> 01:03:44,000
Speaker 2: Helps you think creatively, I mean black and white thinking

1441
01:03:44,040 --> 01:03:48,439
Speaker 2: and either thinking just like snuffs out creativity, So get

1442
01:03:48,440 --> 01:03:49,240
Speaker 2: creative balance.

1443
01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:54,280
Speaker 4: I mean yeah, like just going into having kids with

1444
01:03:54,440 --> 01:03:57,800
Speaker 4: your relationship and a balanced oh yeah, where you guys

1445
01:03:57,800 --> 01:04:01,600
Speaker 4: are both feeling good relational, Like if you have done

1446
01:04:01,600 --> 01:04:05,800
Speaker 4: nothing but save money and sit at home and then

1447
01:04:05,840 --> 01:04:08,920
Speaker 4: you have kids, like one of you could could potentially

1448
01:04:08,920 --> 01:04:11,880
Speaker 4: be resentful in that scenario. And if all you've done

1449
01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:13,600
Speaker 4: is travel and you go into having a kid with

1450
01:04:13,640 --> 01:04:15,880
Speaker 4: no money, that could be really stressful for one person

1451
01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:16,520
Speaker 4: in that scenario.

1452
01:04:16,520 --> 01:04:17,800
Speaker 1: So it depends on the company.

1453
01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:21,520
Speaker 4: I really think that the balance and the health of

1454
01:04:21,560 --> 01:04:23,440
Speaker 4: the relationship whatever it looks like for you guys to

1455
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:26,080
Speaker 4: build health in your relationship before you have kids. If

1456
01:04:26,080 --> 01:04:28,520
Speaker 4: that's travel great, If it's not, that's okay. Just because

1457
01:04:28,520 --> 01:04:30,840
Speaker 4: everyone else baby means doesn't mean you have to like

1458
01:04:30,920 --> 01:04:33,400
Speaker 4: whatever you need to do to feel on the same

1459
01:04:33,440 --> 01:04:36,360
Speaker 4: page as your partner is the right thing to do.

1460
01:04:36,600 --> 01:04:39,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think sometimes loving money is the answer to everything.

1461
01:04:40,040 --> 01:04:42,320
Speaker 3: Like we think that from a political perspective too, right,

1462
01:04:42,360 --> 01:04:44,280
Speaker 3: it's like, oh, funnel more money to the schools, that'll

1463
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:46,840
Speaker 3: make them better, And it doesn't always pan out like that,

1464
01:04:46,880 --> 01:04:49,480
Speaker 3: and in fact, that's the obays true so much of

1465
01:04:49,520 --> 01:04:49,720
Speaker 3: the time.

1466
01:04:49,800 --> 01:04:50,000
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1467
01:04:50,040 --> 01:04:51,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so if we can do it thoughtfully, spend

1468
01:04:51,920 --> 01:04:54,440
Speaker 3: the money thoughtfully, then I think can go a long way,

1469
01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:57,800
Speaker 3: and then we have enough hopefully to invest and prepare

1470
01:04:57,840 --> 01:04:59,560
Speaker 3: for that future kid as well.

1471
01:04:59,680 --> 01:05:02,320
Speaker 4: But yeah, I would say maybe do fully fund an

1472
01:05:02,320 --> 01:05:05,400
Speaker 4: emergency fund. Oh yeah, if you're like, make sure that

1473
01:05:05,400 --> 01:05:06,160
Speaker 4: that's funded.

1474
01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:09,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're not advocating for yolo spend all the money

1475
01:05:09,840 --> 01:05:12,120
Speaker 1: you've got now in order to get the memories in

1476
01:05:12,120 --> 01:05:14,320
Speaker 1: because definitely don't do it if you're going into debt, right, But.

1477
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:16,640
Speaker 4: No, yeah, definitely not. And I mean, babies can end

1478
01:05:16,680 --> 01:05:19,080
Speaker 4: up costing a lot, as we have personally found out,

1479
01:05:19,200 --> 01:05:21,880
Speaker 4: so having that emergency fund there is good. It doesn't

1480
01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:23,920
Speaker 4: mean you save every cent, but it does mean that

1481
01:05:24,360 --> 01:05:26,080
Speaker 4: you have that cushion behind you.

1482
01:05:26,120 --> 01:05:27,000
Speaker 1: Totally okay.

1483
01:05:27,080 --> 01:05:29,440
Speaker 3: On the kiddo note, Susan says, how do you decide

1484
01:05:29,520 --> 01:05:32,680
Speaker 3: how much detail to share with your children about your finances? Kate,

1485
01:05:32,720 --> 01:05:34,240
Speaker 3: you want to start this one off?

1486
01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:34,840
Speaker 2: Sure?

1487
01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:36,840
Speaker 4: I mean we talk about money a lot with our kids.

1488
01:05:36,920 --> 01:05:41,200
Speaker 4: It's small casual conversations. It's not hard numbers like this,

1489
01:05:41,320 --> 01:05:43,000
Speaker 4: how much the house costs? You know they're going to

1490
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:44,120
Speaker 4: ask that. We're not going to say.

1491
01:05:46,040 --> 01:05:48,840
Speaker 1: They do ask that the older they get their curious.

1492
01:05:48,680 --> 01:05:50,120
Speaker 4: But you could tell them one hundred dollars and they'd

1493
01:05:50,160 --> 01:05:54,040
Speaker 4: be like whoa. Yeah. So we don't talk about the

1494
01:05:54,160 --> 01:05:56,760
Speaker 4: numbers as much on big things like that. But they

1495
01:05:57,360 --> 01:05:59,680
Speaker 4: are handling money at the ages that they are, and

1496
01:05:59,680 --> 01:06:02,360
Speaker 4: they have little, little amounts of money to their name,

1497
01:06:02,400 --> 01:06:05,600
Speaker 4: and so we are running through scenarios with them as

1498
01:06:05,640 --> 01:06:08,400
Speaker 4: they decide to spend it or not spend it. And

1499
01:06:09,800 --> 01:06:12,600
Speaker 4: I think just small casual conversations that aren't loaded with

1500
01:06:12,640 --> 01:06:15,960
Speaker 4: emotion is a great way to introduce them to money

1501
01:06:16,480 --> 01:06:20,400
Speaker 4: in a like, I guess, a balanced, easy way that

1502
01:06:20,520 --> 01:06:24,680
Speaker 4: isn't Yeah, loaded with a lot of meaning or weight

1503
01:06:25,360 --> 01:06:28,640
Speaker 4: behind those conversations, and they overhear us have conversations too,

1504
01:06:28,760 --> 01:06:32,720
Speaker 4: like if we're comparing gut or cleaning quotes, like they're

1505
01:06:32,760 --> 01:06:35,800
Speaker 4: listening to us talk through the pros and cons of

1506
01:06:35,840 --> 01:06:38,080
Speaker 4: the different options and what they're going to do, and

1507
01:06:38,560 --> 01:06:41,000
Speaker 4: they're listening to us have conversations that are also not

1508
01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:43,640
Speaker 4: loaded with emotion, and sometimes do have a little piece

1509
01:06:43,640 --> 01:06:46,320
Speaker 4: of that where they hear us disagree. So I think

1510
01:06:46,400 --> 01:06:49,560
Speaker 4: all of all that to say, like they're part of

1511
01:06:49,600 --> 01:06:52,240
Speaker 4: the ongoing conversation of money in our house. It's not

1512
01:06:52,320 --> 01:06:55,040
Speaker 4: like pervasive, but it comes up a couple times a

1513
01:06:55,040 --> 01:06:57,040
Speaker 4: week and they hear it and or they're part of it,

1514
01:06:57,160 --> 01:06:59,760
Speaker 4: or they ask questions. So I just want them to

1515
01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:03,560
Speaker 4: not feel like it's this totally separate thing from life

1516
01:07:03,640 --> 01:07:07,800
Speaker 4: where they like handle all of this in uh secrecy

1517
01:07:07,920 --> 01:07:11,120
Speaker 4: or yeah, yeah, like it's part of everything we decide

1518
01:07:11,160 --> 01:07:11,360
Speaker 4: to do.

1519
01:07:11,640 --> 01:07:12,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think totally.

1520
01:07:12,600 --> 01:07:15,479
Speaker 3: At least me, growing up, the conversations were typically fraught

1521
01:07:15,520 --> 01:07:18,360
Speaker 3: around money. There's a lot of emotion, and it was

1522
01:07:18,400 --> 01:07:21,200
Speaker 3: also like when you're not supposed to hear it, and

1523
01:07:21,240 --> 01:07:23,880
Speaker 3: so when I heard it, it was super emotional and

1524
01:07:24,200 --> 01:07:26,920
Speaker 3: that wasn't necessarily the best the best thing for the

1525
01:07:26,920 --> 01:07:29,640
Speaker 3: way for a kid to get initiated into money convos.

1526
01:07:29,680 --> 01:07:31,439
Speaker 3: So yeah, taking the emotion out of it, but also

1527
01:07:31,560 --> 01:07:34,680
Speaker 3: making it normal every day I think is really important.

1528
01:07:34,680 --> 01:07:38,240
Speaker 3: Where Evy was telling me, your oldest was telling me today,

1529
01:07:38,280 --> 01:07:40,280
Speaker 3: like she made seven bucks for doing something to your

1530
01:07:40,520 --> 01:07:41,919
Speaker 3: rug or somebody fixed her.

1531
01:07:42,120 --> 01:07:45,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, got braided tassels on her rug, and that little

1532
01:07:45,520 --> 01:07:50,280
Speaker 4: robot vacuum keeps unbraiding them. And so I stupidly was like,

1533
01:07:50,320 --> 01:07:52,240
Speaker 4: you can have a dollar for every one of those

1534
01:07:52,280 --> 01:07:54,040
Speaker 4: that you fix, and then she fixed seven of them.

1535
01:07:54,040 --> 01:07:56,160
Speaker 4: I was like, okay, well, yeah, this is kind of

1536
01:07:56,160 --> 01:07:56,800
Speaker 4: a lot, but all.

1537
01:07:56,760 --> 01:08:00,880
Speaker 2: Right, it's great. I would say the emotion I do

1538
01:08:01,040 --> 01:08:04,720
Speaker 2: try to instill around money is just gratitude. I think

1539
01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:09,160
Speaker 2: when kids grow up used to a certain standard of living,

1540
01:08:09,280 --> 01:08:12,000
Speaker 2: you can lose perspective that that it's actually a gift

1541
01:08:12,480 --> 01:08:15,720
Speaker 2: and that not everyone else has the same privilege or

1542
01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:19,640
Speaker 2: can think about money the same. So I think, like

1543
01:08:19,680 --> 01:08:21,720
Speaker 2: this beach else, like we've talked about how nice it is.

1544
01:08:21,760 --> 01:08:23,719
Speaker 2: We're like, isn't this great? We're thankful for the pool

1545
01:08:23,760 --> 01:08:25,599
Speaker 2: and we're fortunate, and like.

1546
01:08:26,040 --> 01:08:27,840
Speaker 1: Maybe this is a privilege. Folks. We're still a little

1547
01:08:27,880 --> 01:08:28,640
Speaker 1: uncomfortable with this.

1548
01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:31,960
Speaker 2: I don't know, you know, so I think, which I

1549
01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:34,640
Speaker 2: actually do agree. I think learning about it unemotionally has

1550
01:08:34,680 --> 01:08:38,120
Speaker 2: been is great. But I do try to foster the

1551
01:08:38,160 --> 01:08:40,960
Speaker 2: sense of gratitude and a little bit of perspective, you know,

1552
01:08:41,040 --> 01:08:45,880
Speaker 2: because as Americans we're wealthy and you know, living it's

1553
01:08:45,920 --> 01:08:48,120
Speaker 2: been interesting, even moving from the city to the burbs.

1554
01:08:48,160 --> 01:08:52,160
Speaker 2: The way you see money spent is different. And having

1555
01:08:52,200 --> 01:08:54,920
Speaker 2: those kind of conversations just on perspective and how other

1556
01:08:54,960 --> 01:08:58,000
Speaker 2: people might feel about money or view money. Those are

1557
01:08:58,040 --> 01:08:59,679
Speaker 2: things I think kids inherit from us too.

1558
01:09:00,320 --> 01:09:04,519
Speaker 3: Defending off a sense of entitlement is absolutely not terribly easy,

1559
01:09:04,560 --> 01:09:08,160
Speaker 3: and it's like a constant task, right to help your

1560
01:09:08,240 --> 01:09:13,160
Speaker 3: kids understand and feel that sense of contentment and thankfulness, gratitude,

1561
01:09:13,520 --> 01:09:16,400
Speaker 3: and so yeah, that's definitely something we work on a

1562
01:09:16,400 --> 01:09:19,840
Speaker 3: lot at the dinner table and other times too. It's like, yeah,

1563
01:09:19,960 --> 01:09:22,519
Speaker 3: let's be thankful for this thing because it's a big deal.

1564
01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:25,519
Speaker 3: And you know, even if it's not some sort of

1565
01:09:26,400 --> 01:09:29,360
Speaker 3: splurge that you know, broke broke the bank or anything

1566
01:09:29,439 --> 01:09:30,840
Speaker 3: like that, this is a big deal for our family

1567
01:09:30,840 --> 01:09:32,639
Speaker 3: to spend money this way, we're going to really appreciate

1568
01:09:32,680 --> 01:09:33,320
Speaker 3: it and be thankful for.

1569
01:09:33,360 --> 01:09:34,479
Speaker 2: It, and we're just gonna enjoy it.

1570
01:09:34,560 --> 01:09:37,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, totally. No, I do think that is good

1571
01:09:37,320 --> 01:09:40,439
Speaker 1: to not like divorce emotions from it completely because it's

1572
01:09:40,439 --> 01:09:42,800
Speaker 1: still because then it doesn't feel real, right, because then

1573
01:09:42,840 --> 01:09:45,240
Speaker 1: you're just crunching numbers like AI or something like that.

1574
01:09:45,280 --> 01:09:49,400
Speaker 1: You're just like computing data. And that's not what we are.

1575
01:09:49,479 --> 01:09:51,680
Speaker 1: We're not just computers, right, Like, we're individuals that have

1576
01:09:51,760 --> 01:09:54,000
Speaker 1: feelings that do get to enjoy things, and so keeping

1577
01:09:54,040 --> 01:09:57,120
Speaker 1: that in perspective and keeping it within sort of a

1578
01:09:57,160 --> 01:10:02,519
Speaker 1: healthy framework is really helpful, by agree, Matt. True, but okay,

1579
01:10:02,520 --> 01:10:07,080
Speaker 1: So last question the Kate and Emily show. Rihanna asks

1580
01:10:07,600 --> 01:10:10,520
Speaker 1: if Kate Emily if they had their own bestie podcast,

1581
01:10:10,880 --> 01:10:13,040
Speaker 1: what would be the topic? What do y'all think y'all

1582
01:10:13,040 --> 01:10:13,639
Speaker 1: would talk about?

1583
01:10:13,680 --> 01:10:17,320
Speaker 2: If weird thing, the.

1584
01:10:17,280 --> 01:10:23,680
Speaker 4: Weirdest, most disjointed Emily believe it or not to talk

1585
01:10:23,680 --> 01:10:24,439
Speaker 4: to each other about it?

1586
01:10:24,880 --> 01:10:27,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got to mention this to Kate. I can't

1587
01:10:27,320 --> 01:10:27,880
Speaker 2: forget it weird.

1588
01:10:27,920 --> 01:10:28,760
Speaker 1: I write it.

1589
01:10:28,680 --> 01:10:31,080
Speaker 4: Down sometimes when I come over, I like pull out

1590
01:10:31,080 --> 01:10:32,800
Speaker 4: my phone to the notes section. I'm like I got

1591
01:10:32,800 --> 01:10:36,240
Speaker 4: some questions over this next week, guess what happened. That's

1592
01:10:36,240 --> 01:10:38,559
Speaker 4: what it would be us going through our notes and our.

1593
01:10:38,439 --> 01:10:40,639
Speaker 1: Phone talk about crazy stuff in the past week.

1594
01:10:40,720 --> 01:10:43,000
Speaker 4: Lotterandom. Yeah, but I think parenting in general. I mean,

1595
01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:44,720
Speaker 4: I feel like what we talk about the most is

1596
01:10:44,760 --> 01:10:48,120
Speaker 4: like relational dynamics within our family, within our community. It's

1597
01:10:48,120 --> 01:10:52,040
Speaker 4: like between our families. There's just it's just interesting talk

1598
01:10:52,080 --> 01:10:54,360
Speaker 4: a lot about parenting and like relationships.

1599
01:10:54,720 --> 01:10:58,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just also just information. I mean, I love

1600
01:10:58,479 --> 01:11:00,960
Speaker 2: the way Kate thinks create and I love to hear

1601
01:11:01,000 --> 01:11:03,360
Speaker 2: about her farm and her garden and all thrift story.

1602
01:11:03,400 --> 01:11:05,599
Speaker 2: You know, I just appreciate a friend. I just feel

1603
01:11:05,600 --> 01:11:08,799
Speaker 2: like we just talked about weird information on weird things,

1604
01:11:08,920 --> 01:11:11,600
Speaker 2: and that would occupy your time. It would be not cohesive,

1605
01:11:12,400 --> 01:11:14,519
Speaker 2: and that's why we don't have That's why we are

1606
01:11:14,560 --> 01:11:15,160
Speaker 2: not the podcast.

1607
01:11:15,560 --> 01:11:16,880
Speaker 1: Guys, what's the overarching theme?

1608
01:11:16,960 --> 01:11:20,920
Speaker 4: Though we don't weird things that we're not.

1609
01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:23,559
Speaker 3: Totally going to usurb Joe Rogan, I think we need

1610
01:11:23,600 --> 01:11:24,439
Speaker 3: to start this immediately.

1611
01:11:24,520 --> 01:11:27,320
Speaker 1: These conversations are are quite meandering as well.

1612
01:11:27,479 --> 01:11:30,680
Speaker 2: Or embarrassing things we've done that would also there's a

1613
01:11:30,680 --> 01:11:32,839
Speaker 2: lot of that, Like I cannot believe the interaction.

1614
01:11:36,120 --> 01:11:37,920
Speaker 3: We could just call the podcast awkward moments.

1615
01:11:38,280 --> 01:11:41,120
Speaker 2: Oh, Kate and I could totally fill that up. We

1616
01:11:41,160 --> 01:11:42,719
Speaker 2: give you an hour, Yeah, easily.

1617
01:11:43,560 --> 01:11:46,040
Speaker 1: We'll make sure to let let everybody knows.

1618
01:11:46,640 --> 01:11:48,680
Speaker 4: Because they're kids.

1619
01:11:48,240 --> 01:11:52,760
Speaker 1: Right, Okay, we've gone along, but let's quickly share. The

1620
01:11:52,800 --> 01:11:55,799
Speaker 1: beer that we drink that we shared today was Madame

1621
01:11:55,920 --> 01:11:58,800
Speaker 1: Rose or Rose No, I guess Madame Rose. This is

1622
01:11:58,840 --> 01:12:03,240
Speaker 1: a Belgium styleiled Ale by Goose Island Beer Company. Ladies,

1623
01:12:03,280 --> 01:12:05,719
Speaker 1: what were your thoughts? Oh, Emily, you didn't even drink yours?

1624
01:12:06,520 --> 01:12:08,640
Speaker 2: You know, this isn't my style of beer. I like it.

1625
01:12:08,640 --> 01:12:09,360
Speaker 2: It's really good.

1626
01:12:09,439 --> 01:12:12,879
Speaker 1: It's a good three empty glasses in one drink about.

1627
01:12:12,680 --> 01:12:16,120
Speaker 2: Half of it. It's more for me, that's true. Well,

1628
01:12:16,120 --> 01:12:17,760
Speaker 2: now I'm embarrassed. Is it a sour beer?

1629
01:12:18,439 --> 01:12:18,639
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1630
01:12:18,680 --> 01:12:21,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, okay, yeah yeah, so that's just not my

1631
01:12:21,120 --> 01:12:23,719
Speaker 2: jam and it's got a lot of vinegar.

1632
01:12:24,760 --> 01:12:25,679
Speaker 1: You're an ipa gal.

1633
01:12:26,080 --> 01:12:28,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would drink an ipa all day long, as

1634
01:12:28,439 --> 01:12:30,080
Speaker 2: sour is not my jam. But it's good, Like I

1635
01:12:30,080 --> 01:12:34,280
Speaker 2: can appreciate the craft and quality, but I'm just not

1636
01:12:34,320 --> 01:12:35,240
Speaker 2: gonna put that back.

1637
01:12:35,360 --> 01:12:37,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, this one had cherries in it, and this one

1638
01:12:38,040 --> 01:12:40,920
Speaker 3: is from twenty seventeen, so this had like that.

1639
01:12:40,920 --> 01:12:43,040
Speaker 1: Might be why I had more in your mind, like

1640
01:12:43,240 --> 01:12:46,080
Speaker 1: more vinegar. Yeah, yeah, oxidized a little bit, But I

1641
01:12:46,120 --> 01:12:47,800
Speaker 1: mean that being said, there is still a lot of body,

1642
01:12:47,840 --> 01:12:48,719
Speaker 1: there's still a lot of sweetens.

1643
01:12:48,840 --> 01:12:50,640
Speaker 2: Yeah it is, and that's probably why I like it.

1644
01:12:51,040 --> 01:12:54,680
Speaker 2: I like the sweet too, but yeah it was. I'm

1645
01:12:54,680 --> 01:12:57,080
Speaker 2: not the one who likes to drink pickle juice, not

1646
01:12:57,120 --> 01:12:59,080
Speaker 2: pointing fingers.

1647
01:12:58,320 --> 01:13:00,400
Speaker 1: So on that note, you probably be.

1648
01:13:01,040 --> 01:13:03,040
Speaker 4: I did you know we used to make a drink

1649
01:13:03,080 --> 01:13:05,840
Speaker 4: at home where we would mix apple cider, vinegar and

1650
01:13:06,800 --> 01:13:10,400
Speaker 4: fresh cranberry juice together and I would add it to

1651
01:13:10,400 --> 01:13:13,519
Speaker 4: my water to flavor it. And now, honestly this is

1652
01:13:13,520 --> 01:13:14,720
Speaker 4: pretty reminiscent of that.

1653
01:13:16,160 --> 01:13:18,599
Speaker 2: So like our podcast would be full of Kate's remes.

1654
01:13:19,200 --> 01:13:22,000
Speaker 1: So was that Miss Braggs or something like that? Apple

1655
01:13:22,080 --> 01:13:25,960
Speaker 1: sider vinegar with the mother? Why would you do that? Again?

1656
01:13:26,120 --> 01:13:28,160
Speaker 1: Was that like a gut health thing? Yeah?

1657
01:13:28,280 --> 01:13:30,160
Speaker 4: Also, I just really love vinegar. I mean I drink

1658
01:13:30,360 --> 01:13:33,200
Speaker 4: I am the one literally she drinks pickle juice. Let's

1659
01:13:33,200 --> 01:13:36,200
Speaker 4: be clear, only good pickle juice, not the kind of

1660
01:13:36,240 --> 01:13:39,920
Speaker 4: food coloring. Yeah, I forget that obviously it burns your.

1661
01:13:39,800 --> 01:13:44,439
Speaker 1: Gut net promotes gut health. Did you dig it? Man,

1662
01:13:44,439 --> 01:13:45,360
Speaker 1: it's right up my alley.

1663
01:13:45,400 --> 01:13:47,960
Speaker 3: It was Flanders Red Vibes, which is one of my

1664
01:13:47,960 --> 01:13:52,120
Speaker 3: favorite beer styles out of Belgium. Cherries gave the nice

1665
01:13:52,120 --> 01:13:54,639
Speaker 3: little sweet and the fruity notes along with the oak.

1666
01:13:54,800 --> 01:13:57,000
Speaker 1: I mean this thing agent wine barrels as well, so

1667
01:13:57,040 --> 01:13:59,160
Speaker 1: it had I think that's where some of the oak

1668
01:13:59,240 --> 01:14:01,799
Speaker 1: came from, some of the depth hitting all the notes

1669
01:14:01,880 --> 01:14:03,880
Speaker 1: for me for sure, definitely glad we got to enjoy

1670
01:14:03,920 --> 01:14:05,599
Speaker 1: this one. Glad you picked this one up and that's

1671
01:14:05,640 --> 01:14:08,120
Speaker 1: gonna be it again. If you are still listening, we

1672
01:14:08,160 --> 01:14:13,080
Speaker 1: appreciate you listening to the fifth Lives episode. It's been

1673
01:14:13,120 --> 01:14:15,240
Speaker 1: a lot of fun, ladies. We're thankful for y'all.

1674
01:14:15,320 --> 01:14:17,000
Speaker 3: By Annuel, We'll see you do it twice a year.

1675
01:14:17,479 --> 01:14:18,880
Speaker 3: Popular demand, take me to the.

1676
01:14:18,800 --> 01:14:21,280
Speaker 2: Beach twice a year. Take me here. I'm already, I'm

1677
01:14:21,400 --> 01:14:21,840
Speaker 2: not here.

1678
01:14:21,880 --> 01:14:23,439
Speaker 3: We need to do Plus, we're gonna have to promote

1679
01:14:23,439 --> 01:14:24,559
Speaker 3: your new podcast, so true.

1680
01:14:24,600 --> 01:14:27,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, Ley Wed, thanks, thank y'all for coming on the

1681
01:14:27,280 --> 01:14:27,920
Speaker 1: podcast today.

1682
01:14:28,479 --> 01:14:29,759
Speaker 2: Thank you guys, And.

1683
01:14:29,600 --> 01:14:31,800
Speaker 1: I'm guessing we probably won't have any show notes up.

1684
01:14:32,080 --> 01:14:33,400
Speaker 1: I guess we will, but I don't know what we'll

1685
01:14:33,439 --> 01:14:37,479
Speaker 1: link to, but you can find those up on the

1686
01:14:37,479 --> 01:14:40,519
Speaker 1: website at hownamoney dot com and Joel. Until next time.

1687
01:14:40,600 --> 01:14:42,679
Speaker 1: Best friends are out, Best Friends Out,