Speaker 1: Wait that answer in the morning Breakfast Club Morning, Everybody's
Speaker 1: DJ Envy angela Ye, Charlemagne the guy we are the
Speaker 1: breakfast Club. We got a special guest in the ballots, right,
Speaker 1: this divine being having a human experience, Master, well being, educator,
Speaker 1: doom to keep going. Oh. She has many teaching certifications.
Speaker 1: She has many teaching certifications including meditation, breathwork and the Child,
Speaker 1: healing and spiritual psychology. She's an energy healer. She hosting
Speaker 1: leaves many spiritual spiritual retreats a year. She teaches in
Speaker 1: God's Delhi Meditations on the Choper app. She advises on
Speaker 1: well being and teaches mindfulness for several corporations. She's an
Speaker 1: author of a book called Crystal Bliss, and she holds
Speaker 1: a podcast on the black Back podcast network called Dropping
Speaker 1: Gems It's My Good System. And she has a four
Speaker 1: year old that is taller than Charlemagne. That is a fact.
Speaker 1: DEMI gods are you talking about? Quest is a big
Speaker 1: little boy? That is a fact. Yes, welcome, I come mon,
Speaker 1: good morning. How are you, Debbie. I'm incredible. I feel incredible. Okay,
Speaker 1: this moment in time is a lot, but it's also
Speaker 1: there's magic in it. For all of us. What makes
Speaker 1: you feel so incredible? You know, I think I'm excited
Speaker 1: about where we all get to be in our lives
Speaker 1: in this moment, Like this is the first time ever
Speaker 1: in human history that we've all been able to become
Speaker 1: higher versions of ourselves, like so many at a time.
Speaker 1: We all have more resources, more support for mental health,
Speaker 1: more support for emotional health. So it's like even when
Speaker 1: I get to see friends I haven't seen in a while,
Speaker 1: like I feel like we get to meet each other
Speaker 1: at new levels. You know, we get to have deeper
Speaker 1: conversations with the people that we love. We get to
Speaker 1: be you know, just set our boundaries, be ourselves. People
Speaker 1: that say, what are you talking about? Debbie does And
Speaker 1: we're in a recession, interest rates at all time high,
Speaker 1: but you still find a positive out of it, you
Speaker 1: know what it? Life is both the human experience. We're
Speaker 1: always oscillating between these two ends of the spectrum, joy
Speaker 1: and grief. And I think that, you know, the viewpoint
Speaker 1: I have of it, and something I really had to
Speaker 1: come into in the pandemic was the moments that feel
Speaker 1: like joy. I have to let myself feel all of it,
Speaker 1: you know, I want every inch of delight when it's present,
Speaker 1: because life is hard, life is challenging. Like we walk
Speaker 1: to the table with so many things that we've experienced
Speaker 1: that no one knows about, and then we're alive right
Speaker 1: now with you know, it is what it is, all
Speaker 1: the things happening. So when I get a chance to
Speaker 1: be with people I love, when I get a chance
Speaker 1: to do anything that sparks in my spirit, I try
Speaker 1: to feel every single piece of it. There are times
Speaker 1: when people feel guilty too, because they may be experiencing
Speaker 1: a lot of positivity, but there's so much going on
Speaker 1: around you that you don't feel like you can even
Speaker 1: celebrate that. Yeah, yeah, And I think it's important too,
Speaker 1: because that's what allows us to sustain. Like, I think
Speaker 1: the thing we've all gotten so wrong about the human
Speaker 1: experience is like everyone thinks that the goal is always
Speaker 1: supreme happiness and that if it's not that, then those
Speaker 1: are the periods of your life you don't really sit
Speaker 1: with or look at or talk about. But we need
Speaker 1: the grief, we need the pain and dressed as much
Speaker 1: as we need everything else. So you know, even in
Speaker 1: the midst of the moment of time we're having now
Speaker 1: where everything is crazy, and it's been crazy, you know,
Speaker 1: It's I wake up every day and I'm just like,
Speaker 1: but how can I fuel my fire? How can I
Speaker 1: keep that internal oven inside of me just constantly going
Speaker 1: from myself, from my life for my child? Can we
Speaker 1: go back to It's like almost the beginning, right because
Speaker 1: when you think of you know, Dev Dev, A lot
Speaker 1: of us probably know DEVI Deaf from radio. You know,
Speaker 1: we started DEVII Dev. You know I met you at
Speaker 1: k D in La and like oh seven and you
Speaker 1: know you on Sway Show. But it's like you've always
Speaker 1: been this spiritually connected person. When do you when do
Speaker 1: you like first remember that like connection to a higher power?
Speaker 1: You know, I think so many things play into that.
Speaker 1: I think by nature, I'm an only child raised by
Speaker 1: a single parent, which is a certain kind of experience
Speaker 1: that kind of keeps you in your head a lot.
Speaker 1: So I think that was a piece of it. But
Speaker 1: I've always just been fascinated by transformation of any kind.
Speaker 1: Like I was definitely reading self help books as a
Speaker 1: little girl. I was just so interested in what made
Speaker 1: people themselves but also what kept people from becoming themselves. Now,
Speaker 1: one time you decided to give this all up right, yeah,
Speaker 1: you would. You were very successful doing radio. You were
Speaker 1: in Houston, they were talking about syndication, you were talking
Speaker 1: about moving back to la and then you said you
Speaker 1: were one of the best radio personality in the country.
Speaker 1: I mean's still one of the best personalities, but you
Speaker 1: were on the radio as one of the best personalities
Speaker 1: in the country. And then you said, thank you, I'm
Speaker 1: done with this. Well what made you say, you know what,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this anymore? What? What was?
Speaker 1: Why are you clinching yourself like that they need to
Speaker 1: hear this this morning? You know, it was a couple
Speaker 1: of things. I think the amazing thing about the show
Speaker 1: that y'all do is you guys have established something so
Speaker 1: rare and different than has ever been I think in broadcasting.
Speaker 1: And you guys get to show up as your full
Speaker 1: selves at work. You get to have the conversations that
Speaker 1: matter to you. Where I was when I was doing
Speaker 1: radio that had started becoming so closed off. You know,
Speaker 1: at one point when I was working in radio, I
Speaker 1: was able to have meaningful conversations like I went viral
Speaker 1: with Kanye, went viral with Kendrick talking about mental health.
Speaker 1: And then you know, the powers that be they just
Speaker 1: say talk less, talk less, you know, where I used
Speaker 1: to have a talk break where I could really connect it,
Speaker 1: but like do that in eleven seconds, but say the
Speaker 1: whole liner, you know. And it's just I just felt
Speaker 1: like I wasn't able to use this gift of communication
Speaker 1: at the level that God really commanded of me, at
Speaker 1: the level that felt fulfilling to me, And so I
Speaker 1: knew that I needed to find I wanted to have
Speaker 1: different conversations, and I think you know, when I left radio,
Speaker 1: that was like twenty sixteen, twenty seventeen, so the kind
Speaker 1: of conversations I was having weren't really popular at the time.
Speaker 1: Like I wanted to kind of talk about some of
Speaker 1: the darker stuff. I wanted to talk about some of
Speaker 1: the more complicated, complex things, and I just kind of
Speaker 1: do that on the terrestrial radio. I was at like
Speaker 1: I remember one of my bosses at the time was like,
Speaker 1: I want you to start doing a segment about groupies
Speaker 1: where you take callers and ask them what celebrities they
Speaker 1: slept with Jesus, And I was like, sir, do you
Speaker 1: know me at all? It's like, well, I can't do that,
Speaker 1: so let me let me find my place, and you know,
Speaker 1: I wanted to have more adventure. Like I at that point,
Speaker 1: I knew spirituality was the leading leading journey emission for
Speaker 1: my life, and so I just said, I have to
Speaker 1: invest everything about myself to that. Let me ask you this,
Speaker 1: you did say back then, those conversations weren't as popular
Speaker 1: as they are now. And definitely now I feel like
Speaker 1: people are having those conversations about spirituality, about mental health
Speaker 1: a lot more. But there's so many different conflicting things,
Speaker 1: so much information out there, so many people that you're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: who do I listen to? Who do I trust? Who
Speaker 1: do I believe? Right? So how do people manage to
Speaker 1: kind of filter through all of that noise? That is
Speaker 1: so good? Because it is like the wild West out here,
Speaker 1: like it really is, Like you know, I think everybody
Speaker 1: should vet everyone that they talk to. And I think
Speaker 1: what's really important is there is this kind of split
Speaker 1: between people that are enthusiasts and are sharing processes that
Speaker 1: maybe worked really well for their individual lives. But we
Speaker 1: all have complex lives. We all have so many experiences
Speaker 1: that made us us. So I think it's just really
Speaker 1: important to connect with people that are deeply studied that
Speaker 1: are experts in this space, you know, work with people
Speaker 1: who have embodied what they're saying, not just sharing maybe
Speaker 1: the tips and tricks or not just you know, saying
Speaker 1: the things of like I read this book and it
Speaker 1: said this, but who has been applying it to their
Speaker 1: life in a way that it's transformed them and this
Speaker 1: is their way of being? Those are always the people
Speaker 1: I'm like kind of guide more in that direction. And
Speaker 1: I believe in a holistic view. I think if you know,
Speaker 1: for anybody listening that feels called to a healing journey
Speaker 1: or any kind of like internal exploration, you have to
Speaker 1: do it from mind, body, and spirit. You know, therapy
Speaker 1: is incredible and it's one of the foundational steps, but
Speaker 1: you also need everything else. You need body practice, you
Speaker 1: need something that really feeds and grows and builds your spirit. Like,
Speaker 1: we can't just do one thing. It has to be
Speaker 1: an integrated approach to have real transformation. Can we expound
Speaker 1: on that? I remember you telling me that you know
Speaker 1: years ago use this Like, you know, therapy is great,
Speaker 1: and I'm glad you in therapy, but you need more
Speaker 1: than just therapy to transform your life. Like, exactly does
Speaker 1: that look like? So even with therapy, there's so many
Speaker 1: different kinds of therapy, and I think a lot of people,
Speaker 1: especially now, because we're just so new to all of this,
Speaker 1: everyone goes to cognitive therapy, which is kind of like
Speaker 1: the standard talk therapy. For some people, that is actually
Speaker 1: not the best option. Depending on what you are company
Speaker 1: the table with, potentially what kind of traumas or experiences
Speaker 1: you've had, you may need somatic therapy, you may need DBT,
Speaker 1: you may need all these different styles. And so that's
Speaker 1: why I say, like, also get creative with it. When
Speaker 1: you're on your journey and you start to feel maybe
Speaker 1: a little stuck, something isn't working, start exploring, start googling,
Speaker 1: start asking more questions. But the piece about therapy is
Speaker 1: it keeps you in your head. It helps you understand
Speaker 1: yourself and the things that have happened, and it gives
Speaker 1: you the language to talk about it. But it doesn't
Speaker 1: always give you the opportunity to live this new knowing.
Speaker 1: At point, it can be really powerful to invite in
Speaker 1: like spiritual practice or a self care practice, so that
Speaker 1: you are applying acceptance to yourself, You're applying loving to yourself.
Speaker 1: You know, it's one thing to know everything, but to
Speaker 1: know everything and still love yourself, to know everything and
Speaker 1: come into compassion for the people that have harmed you.
Speaker 1: It takes many different processes. And you know, you're you're
Speaker 1: a master well being educator. You have you know a
Speaker 1: lot of certification. What does that look like too for
Speaker 1: people who would be like, oh, how do I know
Speaker 1: she just didn't read a book like you actually invested
Speaker 1: in yourself with this. Yeah. Yeah, I mean I've read
Speaker 1: a lot of books and I've done a lot of
Speaker 1: process on myself. This is also you know, probably fifteen
Speaker 1: years of therapy on myself, a lot of working with
Speaker 1: healing practitioners all over the world. But yeah, I dedicated
Speaker 1: really the last ten years of my life. Even while
Speaker 1: I was still in radio, I was also enrolled in
Speaker 1: different programs and just amassing my knowledge, you know. My
Speaker 1: thing was and and I really encourage anybody listening for
Speaker 1: whatever field you're in, if you're called to something, if
Speaker 1: you know it's something that you know, not just in
Speaker 1: the way we used to say it, like you do
Speaker 1: it if it was for free, No, if it's something
Speaker 1: that you're curious about, like you're always thinking about it,
Speaker 1: you're always trying to find different facets of it, invest
Speaker 1: in yourself. You know, I knew this was my path.
Speaker 1: I knew I was called to help people heal, to
Speaker 1: help alleviate internal suffering. And I didn't want to just
Speaker 1: do it from a place of like motivation and positivity.
Speaker 1: I wanted to really know what is the deep process
Speaker 1: of transformation? And also what are all the things that
Speaker 1: people are facing? You know, what are things that keep
Speaker 1: what are the barriers that are in place for different
Speaker 1: kinds of people that keep them from healing? And what
Speaker 1: books helped you? What helped you on your journey? Oh God,
Speaker 1: so many things, so many books. I think one of
Speaker 1: the books that I love and I speak to this
Speaker 1: book a lot. But it's simple, it's short, but it
Speaker 1: is powerful and can be used on a daily basis
Speaker 1: is The Seven Spiritual Laws with Success by Deepak Chopra.
Speaker 1: What I love about that book is it really expands
Speaker 1: your understanding of what life could be like if you
Speaker 1: really come into a place of surrender of trust that
Speaker 1: everything that was unfolding is ultimately for your highest good,
Speaker 1: even the things that may not have received your consent,
Speaker 1: even the things that still feel like an open wound
Speaker 1: coming into acceptance of that and then really alcomizing all
Speaker 1: that life has given you to transform, to create, to
Speaker 1: have new possibilities. That book really gave me, like the
Speaker 1: zoomed out expanded view of what could be essentially brought
Speaker 1: up Deepak Chopra, I want to talk about Dear Prime
Speaker 1: showed the sessions. Yes, yeah, Daymond Green on now in particular,
Speaker 1: So you're talking about just the mental well being and
Speaker 1: so being able to focus right with Jraymond Green. Why
Speaker 1: in particular do you think athletes need to focus on
Speaker 1: something like this and how do you think it helped them? Gosh,
Speaker 1: I think it's so important. First, like religion of sports
Speaker 1: came up with this phenomenal concept. This is their beautiful
Speaker 1: body of work. They tell really powerful stories, and it
Speaker 1: was myself and it was Deepak and we were in
Speaker 1: this really beautiful process with Draymond. What I think is
Speaker 1: so important about that not just from the athletic lens,
Speaker 1: but from the masculinity lens, Like I think this is
Speaker 1: really a moment of divine masculinity, of men's transformative healing,
Speaker 1: of men's kind of awakening, and so the opportunity to
Speaker 1: kind of work with someone who already has such ingrained dedication, discipline,
Speaker 1: knowledge of their body, knowledge of themselves. I thought was
Speaker 1: a really amazing experience because then we just got to
Speaker 1: go in and kind of chisel a little bit, you know,
Speaker 1: kind of fine tune the process. How receptive was he
Speaker 1: to this at first? So receptive, like so receptive he
Speaker 1: came in and it was just it was just a
Speaker 1: joy and a privilege to work with Draymond because he
Speaker 1: is so smart, so self aware already. And he came
Speaker 1: in saying, and if you watch the show, Deepak asked him,
Speaker 1: you know, where are you at on an emotional level,
Speaker 1: from you know, one to ten? And I think he
Speaker 1: said he was a four. And then Deepak said, well,
Speaker 1: then you're suffering, you know, And we don't always look
Speaker 1: at that when everything else is amazing in our lives,
Speaker 1: or if you're super successful, got all of this, you know,
Speaker 1: acclaim opportunity that piece. You know, we often just say like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, I feel it there. It's like a little
Speaker 1: seed in the pit of my stomach or sometimes in
Speaker 1: my heart, but I'll pad everything else around it. And
Speaker 1: you know, he came into the experience like, Okay, how
Speaker 1: does this work? Tell me? X Y and Z and
Speaker 1: then by you know, by the later part of our
Speaker 1: sessions when we were meeting, he was like, Okay, so
Speaker 1: I've read this book. I've read this book. I've read
Speaker 1: this book. I understand it like this, and he was
Speaker 1: just really ready to feel things that maybe he hadn't
Speaker 1: felt before. Oh, I want to get back to the
Speaker 1: sessions on Amazon, but I want to talk about the
Speaker 1: connection with Deepak, because I call you Tupac Cholber, right,
Speaker 1: and so to see you and Deepak actually working together now,
Speaker 1: I was like surreal in a lot of ways. How
Speaker 1: did that connection happen? Oh, my God, surreal? So godly.
Speaker 1: You always got to listen to the whispers of God,
Speaker 1: you know. I feel like when you can really get
Speaker 1: into a space of following the flow of where life
Speaker 1: wants to lead you and not where you're trying to
Speaker 1: make it go, miracles happen. And so you know, with Deepac,
Speaker 1: I was absolutely a student of his work and just
Speaker 1: I was so transformed. Deepac has written over ninety books
Speaker 1: in his lifetime, Like his depth of knowledge is so massive.
Speaker 1: So it really started where I was burned out. I
Speaker 1: was working in radio, like we talked about in my twenties,
Speaker 1: and I ended up getting shingles, which is highly painful
Speaker 1: for anybody that's had it, but it's also specifically something
Speaker 1: you don't get to like your seventies and your eighties.
Speaker 1: I had it in my twenties and I was like,
Speaker 1: this life isn't sustainable, like clearly, like for people that
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know what it is. So shingles
Speaker 1: is a virus that lays dormant in your body after
Speaker 1: you have the chicken pox, and it's typically something that
Speaker 1: doesn't manifest until you are in your elderly years, but
Speaker 1: it can be brought forward with a lot of stress,
Speaker 1: and it is very painful. It often presents as like
Speaker 1: a big rash somewhere for a length of time, and
Speaker 1: no medicine alleviates the pain. For me, it felt like
Speaker 1: there was a frozen ice pick stabbing you in your nerve,
Speaker 1: really painful. Um. And so this was like, you know,
Speaker 1: ten years ago, and I went online and I just
Speaker 1: typed in like detox, help retreat something, and the first
Speaker 1: thing that popped up was a photo of DPAC and
Speaker 1: it was for his health center. And so I ended
Speaker 1: up going on a ten day detox retreat and it
Speaker 1: changed everything about my life, and I ended up doing
Speaker 1: so many of the programs that Chopra offered, which eventually
Speaker 1: led me to do their teacher training program and get
Speaker 1: certified in meditation. And so our relationship was really just
Speaker 1: growing and building, And when Chopra Global launched about two
Speaker 1: years ago, I ended up coming on board as their
Speaker 1: chief Impact Officer and leading some of their initiatives. Was
Speaker 1: that pressure? What does that mean? I wasn't pressure. Did
Speaker 1: you feel pressure once you were in that position? No?
Speaker 1: I felt so aligned For me. It was just it
Speaker 1: was just the deepest acknowledgement that my path was what
Speaker 1: I was envisioning, that I was exactly where I was
Speaker 1: supposed to be. So I think I really trust myself.
Speaker 1: I trust my life, I trust myself, I trust my expertise.
Speaker 1: So I felt like it was divine alignment. Applied these
Speaker 1: skills to your life. How have you been handling things
Speaker 1: differently than you used to when you were younger? Everything?
Speaker 1: You know? I think for me boundaries like really just
Speaker 1: understanding myself and understanding that you know, this is my movie.
Speaker 1: I'm the star of my movie, I'm a supporting character,
Speaker 1: and a lot of people's movies, I'm a supporting character
Speaker 1: in your movie, you're a supporting character in mine. But
Speaker 1: I have to make myself in my life a priority.
Speaker 1: And to do that, you really cannot care what people think.
Speaker 1: You cannot allow other people's projections to change how you
Speaker 1: think about yourself or make you bend or contorting in
Speaker 1: any way. And I think that that was one of
Speaker 1: the biggest things. It's like, just by being alive, we're
Speaker 1: constantly comparing. It starts in our childhood with our parents,
Speaker 1: with the kids in school, but especially as adults, especially
Speaker 1: if you work in the entertainment industry, bacal social media,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, especially with social media, like it's impossible
Speaker 1: not to and so just really kind of zooming out
Speaker 1: of that matrix and just saying like, I can't care
Speaker 1: what anybody else thinks. I have to trust that my
Speaker 1: path in my life is mine. That's one way to
Speaker 1: create a healthy boundary. What are some other ways to
Speaker 1: create healthy boundaries? So healthy boundaries, the first part is
Speaker 1: you have to become really aware of yourself and who
Speaker 1: you are. I think a lot of this boundary conversation
Speaker 1: tends to tilt into using boundaries as more of a wall,
Speaker 1: a wall of protection. A barrier against other people and
Speaker 1: also a judgment of other people. When I hear people
Speaker 1: talk about boundaries, even on social media, I think we
Speaker 1: have to really upgrade our understanding of why we don't
Speaker 1: have them to begin with. You know, it's like everyone's like,
Speaker 1: now I'm going to have boundaries, and you know, and
Speaker 1: anybody that doesn't have my boundaries like you're cut out
Speaker 1: of my life. And people don't want to respect your boundaries,
Speaker 1: and there's such this like harsh judgmental view no one
Speaker 1: does until you got them. And the thing is, the
Speaker 1: people in our lives that are trying to climb over
Speaker 1: them don't understand what they are either, which is why
Speaker 1: they don't even apply them to their own selves. So
Speaker 1: I think on the journey of finding boundaries of coming
Speaker 1: into self awareness, as often as it's possible, we always
Speaker 1: have to try to steep it in overall compassion and
Speaker 1: non judgment. A lot of us are doing things for
Speaker 1: the very first time. A lot of us have just
Speaker 1: heard about boundaries for the very first time. And very
Speaker 1: often if you don't have boundaries already, it's because different
Speaker 1: things happened in your life that led you to kind
Speaker 1: of disregard yourself in certain ways, or not think that
Speaker 1: you have the right or the worth to choose yourself first.
Speaker 1: So it's all the process and we just have to
Speaker 1: go slow and gently. So question, well, are you we
Speaker 1: born with boundaries and then they get toured down at
Speaker 1: some point? Are we never have them? And we have
Speaker 1: to learn how to build them. So there's a multitude
Speaker 1: of reasons, but I think one of the one of
Speaker 1: the reasons that I'm most often and work with and
Speaker 1: see in our childhood certain things have to happen for
Speaker 1: us to become the best version of our adult self.
Speaker 1: There has to be certain kinds of role modeling in
Speaker 1: place of behavior. There has to be role modeling of care,
Speaker 1: of understanding, of listening of language. If we have experienced
Speaker 1: certain emotional neglect, which millions of people do, even if
Speaker 1: your parents don't want to or don't know that they're
Speaker 1: doing it. If you're experiencing any kind of emotional neglect
Speaker 1: or traumas big to your little t it affects the
Speaker 1: way your core identity is established. Your core identity is
Speaker 1: established in childhood. That is the piece of you that
Speaker 1: isn't the roles you play, but it's the piece of you.
Speaker 1: That thinks that you're worthy, that thinks that you have rights,
Speaker 1: that knows that your emotional life matters. If you're not
Speaker 1: given that opportunity to grow that in a safe way,
Speaker 1: you don't know how to set boundaries because you don't
Speaker 1: understand yourself your own needs, You don't understand what you require,
Speaker 1: and sometimes things bad happen to you or people burn you,
Speaker 1: and then you're like, okay, moving forward. This is how
Speaker 1: I have to move absolutely, And I think when that
Speaker 1: stuff happens in our adult life, even still, it usually
Speaker 1: comes down to an original wound that happened in childhood.
Speaker 1: There was something in the dynamic with the child and
Speaker 1: the caregiver or whatever adults may have been present, where
Speaker 1: their needs were not looked at, and you maybe had
Speaker 1: to please the person that was caretaking for you to
Speaker 1: get what you needed. And so then in your adult
Speaker 1: life you find yourself repeating those patterns in so many
Speaker 1: different ways, and friendships and relationships and the jobs that
Speaker 1: you choose, and the way that your dynamic with your
Speaker 1: boss and your co workers is like it permeates everything
Speaker 1: about your life. There is nothing more important than childhood.
Speaker 1: Now when you talk about you know, everybody has their
Speaker 1: own journey, right, yeah, and you have family, your friends,
Speaker 1: your man, your child. So how do you base your
Speaker 1: circle now? Because there's going to be some people that
Speaker 1: are into the things that you're into, some people that
Speaker 1: don't care about it, some people that don't believe. So
Speaker 1: how do you keep your circle? Do you keep those
Speaker 1: people that are not in your circle? Or do you
Speaker 1: set up those boundaries where it's like, all right, well,
Speaker 1: if you're not believe, I'll wait for you to be
Speaker 1: a believer to be in this circle. So so how
Speaker 1: do you go about your your normal day? Oh? I
Speaker 1: don't think people have to be believers. Like, I'm not
Speaker 1: looking to convince anyone, And I'm okay if we are
Speaker 1: not aligned in our beliefs, but I would be a
Speaker 1: friend with somebody, like you know, Charlemagne goes outside like
Speaker 1: the hugwood. Right, if he wasn't a treaty sir, sorry, okay,
Speaker 1: if he wasn't a wood hugger, right, could you explain
Speaker 1: We can explain that if he wasn't a wood hugger,
Speaker 1: he loves, But if he wasn't that way, could you
Speaker 1: be around him as much? If he wasn't as grounded
Speaker 1: as he was, or if he wasn't doing the work
Speaker 1: on himself, could you still have him in your circle
Speaker 1: like that? Or you know, the structure of our relationship
Speaker 1: would have to change. I wouldn't be in judgment about him,
Speaker 1: like I wouldn't judge a person because we're living different lives. However,
Speaker 1: I have to prioritize what is actually nurturing my own
Speaker 1: life and my own growth. And so I think first
Speaker 1: I would say this, all of us hold on to
Speaker 1: too many people for too long. That is what I feel.
Speaker 1: A lot of it comes because of social media. It's
Speaker 1: this natural Oh we kind of had a click, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna follow you, I'm gonna follow you back. Now we're
Speaker 1: plugged into knowing the nuance of every person we've ever
Speaker 1: met life forever. There's not really the room for that,
Speaker 1: you know. So I think the way that I look
Speaker 1: at my life is I'm very I'm a very, very
Speaker 1: open person. I love connecting with people. But when I
Speaker 1: look at how my life is actually built, it's not
Speaker 1: sustainable for me to have active relationship with a lot
Speaker 1: of people. And so over the last two years, like
Speaker 1: I've masked of lee shed in my life, and some
Speaker 1: of them were highly intentional, like friendships that were misaligned
Speaker 1: because of character, because of integrity, because of choices, and
Speaker 1: there had to be hard conversations. Some of those hard
Speaker 1: conversations turned into re establishing the friendship, like we were
Speaker 1: able to get to new ground and rebuild. Some of
Speaker 1: them were more of an awkward hearts goodbye, and many
Speaker 1: others were really just let nature do his think. How
Speaker 1: would those conversations Like, so, let's say, is somebody in
Speaker 1: new click you need to have a conversation. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: they're not following the same journey that you're following. You
Speaker 1: just don't want them around you, honestly, So how do
Speaker 1: you have those conversations? So if you're me, you just
Speaker 1: have them. I don't have a lot of fear around
Speaker 1: any of that because I think I love myself, I
Speaker 1: love my life, I feel aligned, and so I'm not
Speaker 1: taking other people's misdirected emotions personally. So if someone is
Speaker 1: upset in our conversation, that's not going to rock me.
Speaker 1: And I'm also not going to take on a lot
Speaker 1: of guilt about it. I trust that my choices are
Speaker 1: made in integrity. But you know, you have to be direct,
Speaker 1: but you also have to know yourself to be direct
Speaker 1: in a way that it's actually healing and beneficial, not
Speaker 1: you know when people use that term brutally honest or
Speaker 1: I keep it real. Real is relative. You're real is
Speaker 1: based on your life experience, and it could be completely
Speaker 1: fraudulent to someone else based on how they recognize real.
Speaker 1: So I think there has to be a certain amount
Speaker 1: of self awareness in yourself before you have that conversation,
Speaker 1: and it's important to come into a space, if possible,
Speaker 1: of more neutrality so that you can walk away from
Speaker 1: something with lasting peace. Now, as a friend, right, people listening,
Speaker 1: So as a friend, let's say Nick, the camera guy,
Speaker 1: let's say do you guide him first of what you
Speaker 1: think of being a friend, Like, Hey, Nick, I think
Speaker 1: that you're doing this too much. I think you need
Speaker 1: to fall back and look at this. Always one of
Speaker 1: those things like, bro, you're not going in my direction.
Speaker 1: I gotta go. Yeah, because it can be too preach questions.
Speaker 1: But you know, as somebody who's done to work, yeah,
Speaker 1: who's read numerous books, who's you know, done what you're
Speaker 1: supposed to do, how do you do that? As you know,
Speaker 1: with a friend. So what I did for myself was
Speaker 1: when I started noticing that some friendships felt misaligned or
Speaker 1: non reciprocal in the ways that were important to me.
Speaker 1: I just made a mental note, and I told myself
Speaker 1: that I was going to slowly observe it. So you
Speaker 1: could do that in a way of saying, I'm going
Speaker 1: to give somebody three strikes or three chances. But I
Speaker 1: just started slowly observing and still interacting with the person.
Speaker 1: How the flow of our relationship was, how often did
Speaker 1: we talk? Were they able to show up for me?
Speaker 1: Was I showing up for them? Did it feel reciprocal?
Speaker 1: And I just watched it over the course of a year.
Speaker 1: Like I knew I was called to kind of radically
Speaker 1: shift and make space in my life, and I gave
Speaker 1: myself really a year to do it. So I started
Speaker 1: just observing people from a are, noticing things, keeping mental notes,
Speaker 1: and then I really prayed about it. I set prayers,
Speaker 1: I set intentions around it lead me to the aligned
Speaker 1: friendships and partnerships allow me to remove with ease any
Speaker 1: friendships or connections that are not serving or misaligned. You know,
Speaker 1: I think it is important to bring God into all
Speaker 1: of it. I think it's important to bring just a
Speaker 1: higher energy into all of it. Once that was done,
Speaker 1: and I started really saying, okay, yeah, that's not a fit.
Speaker 1: I just called people up directly and I was like, Hey,
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about our friendship. I
Speaker 1: want to talk about our relationship. And I said, I
Speaker 1: just want to let you know. I don't have a
Speaker 1: lot of judgment around you or this, but I need
Speaker 1: to share how I'm feeling. I usually had supporting examples
Speaker 1: of you know, this experience happened, this is the way
Speaker 1: it made me feel. What are your thoughts on that.
Speaker 1: We went back and forth a little bit about it.
Speaker 1: Some people in my life said, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for telling me this. I felt something changing between us.
Speaker 1: I never saw that. I didn't even notice I was
Speaker 1: doing that, but you're absolutely right. I'm sorry. We were
Speaker 1: able to rebuild some peoples just like, okay, all right,
Speaker 1: what all right? For the show? You know? Or f
Speaker 1: you like? Okay? So I think walking into setting boundaries,
Speaker 1: walking into shedding people, you have to also walk in
Speaker 1: with a confidence of it's okay if I lose them,
Speaker 1: it's okay if they don't understand, and it's also okay
Speaker 1: if they blame me. None of that has anything to
Speaker 1: do with me. You know, it's like the word ease
Speaker 1: is a very powerful word because you know, you know,
Speaker 1: you know, I think God for you daily. I tell
Speaker 1: you this all the time. But it's just like our relationship,
Speaker 1: It's never been a time we didn't share information. It's
Speaker 1: never it's never been a time we didn't have, you know,
Speaker 1: deep conversation. It's just like things evolved and went from
Speaker 1: Yo Charlomagne listening to this Nipsey hustle bullets ain't got
Speaker 1: no name, or arguing about Kendrick Lamar, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean to read deep seven spirituality Like it just
Speaker 1: seemed effortless the whole time. Yeah, And is that what
Speaker 1: you should look for? I guess absolutely like and I
Speaker 1: love us as a case study of that because we've
Speaker 1: been friends for now like fifteen years, and we've seen
Speaker 1: each other at so many junctures of the journey. But
Speaker 1: what we always had was non judgment. We always had
Speaker 1: an openness, We always had an ability to talk things through.
Speaker 1: And I think you don't want to Jess hold on
Speaker 1: to people because of a length of time or this
Speaker 1: like false sense of loyalty which no one actually has
Speaker 1: a real definition for that word, Like it changes with everyone.
Speaker 1: If you look up the definition of loyalty, it just
Speaker 1: means an affinity for I'm fond of I Like, you
Speaker 1: have to really look at, like, what is kind of
Speaker 1: doing life with a friend? Can there be more grace
Speaker 1: for that? Can there be more ease? Can we go
Speaker 1: six months without talking because we're both in a different
Speaker 1: place and then come back together. I think we should
Speaker 1: would be allowed to um. But yeah, being able to
Speaker 1: kind of just evolve as equals at every step is
Speaker 1: what I look for in friendship. And I'm also okay
Speaker 1: with things not having to be that deep. There's some
Speaker 1: people in my life. I trust them to be themselves
Speaker 1: and I show up as myself and I give them
Speaker 1: what they can handle of me. Now, how does people's
Speaker 1: mental health affect their physical health? You don't pray for
Speaker 1: you don't pray about me every day? You don't. I
Speaker 1: was like, what is envy thinking over? I do think
Speaker 1: God for you? You think God for this whole situation,
Speaker 1: this situation which changes our life. We're openness, we're deep.
Speaker 1: I just want to know why you never told me
Speaker 1: that I hear talking. You don't say it envy talking.
Speaker 1: Let me see what the blood could I hear a
Speaker 1: wound talking. I was asking about mental health affecting people's
Speaker 1: physical health too, because I feel like that's a theme
Speaker 1: as well when it comes to athletes, but the everyday person,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, all of us, and and now, thank god,
Speaker 1: there's so much science and studies coming out to back
Speaker 1: it up. There's phenomenal books on this. The Body Keeps
Speaker 1: the Score is an amazing book, Resumementica and my grandmother's
Speaker 1: name Trauma is stored absolutely in the body. Our experiences
Speaker 1: don't leave us. And that's why, you know, when we
Speaker 1: were talking about kind of that approach to really heal,
Speaker 1: you have to bring your body into it. So you
Speaker 1: have to have different practices and processes that allow you
Speaker 1: to love on your body, to kind of push out
Speaker 1: of your cells, out of your skin, your experiences. So
Speaker 1: I think even you know, if someone's in like a
Speaker 1: cognitive therapy and maybe not ready for some of the
Speaker 1: other stuff, I always say, book a book a massage
Speaker 1: appointment for after your therapy appointment, and then think about
Speaker 1: the awarenesses that came in as you're getting the massage,
Speaker 1: Think about things you want to release as you're getting
Speaker 1: the massage, or you could do self massage, self stretching
Speaker 1: at home because the trauma absolutely stays with us. And
Speaker 1: I think we've seen in our communities so many diseases,
Speaker 1: you know, so many different things manifesting that it's just like,
Speaker 1: how is this possible. It can't just be diet, it
Speaker 1: can't just be this Like, there is a there is
Speaker 1: a grief present that is bringing on this sickness in
Speaker 1: people's bodies. And I think it's just that's why we
Speaker 1: have to do that kind of holistic approach. That was
Speaker 1: a massive part of my journey. I was in therapy
Speaker 1: for many, many years, and I understood a lot, but
Speaker 1: not much was actively changing. And then when I came
Speaker 1: in and I started seeing a somatic therapist, I started
Speaker 1: doing somatic processes that really helped me to understand my
Speaker 1: body's reactions to every moment. That's when I became really empowered.
Speaker 1: You could feel your triggers in real time, but then
Speaker 1: also soothe them in real time because on this healing journey,
Speaker 1: no matter what you do, we're still on Earth, We're
Speaker 1: still in this crazy environment. Very often the people near
Speaker 1: us are not changing in the ways that we are,
Speaker 1: so it's just so, so so incredibly important that we
Speaker 1: honor ourselves, that we honor our bodies, that we come
Speaker 1: into a space of being able to, you know, ideally
Speaker 1: get through our wounds, our triggers faster. We're not just
Speaker 1: looking for happiness. I'm I'm I'm in my wholeness, I'm
Speaker 1: in my sovereignty. I am deep in mastery on many
Speaker 1: different parts and also learning in other pieces of myself.
Speaker 1: But you know, I look at um, happiness for me
Speaker 1: isn't the goal. The goal for me is the fact
Speaker 1: that something that used to hurt me, that I may
Speaker 1: ruminate over for a week, for a month, that may
Speaker 1: make me feel sick to my stomach about myself. Now
Speaker 1: if I think about it, it's two seconds I felt it.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, because that did happen to me. I accept
Speaker 1: that and I release it and I move into the
Speaker 1: next moment. So I think that's that's really the goal
Speaker 1: for healing. Let's let's stay if fort's real quick, because
Speaker 1: I want to know why a self care of vital
Speaker 1: for black and brown bodies. But I also want you
Speaker 1: to talk about the energy healing you do. Like I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, people saw a glimpse of you doing it
Speaker 1: the Draymond on the set on The Sessions talk about that.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that was my favorite part of doing
Speaker 1: the show. We were in like the Redwoods. We were
Speaker 1: in this forest in the bay and I got to
Speaker 1: do reiki energy work on him. Energy work is incredible.
Speaker 1: It has changed my life. I think that I think
Speaker 1: that our communities should be empowered with becoming facilitators of reiki,
Speaker 1: of chakra healing, of energy work, and I think that
Speaker 1: we should be using it on ourselves and in our
Speaker 1: families daily. The energy work works with the energetic bodies,
Speaker 1: So there is this field around you that is unseen
Speaker 1: to the naked eye, but that is kind of the
Speaker 1: energy that protects you that also magnetizes things to you
Speaker 1: that can also be injured by different emotional wounds and
Speaker 1: energy feeling is an ancient sacred practice, specifically raiky, where
Speaker 1: you use your energy and you work with the person's
Speaker 1: energy field to bring healing into their environment. So it
Speaker 1: is believed that this helps to heal and alleviate physical wounds,
Speaker 1: mental wounds, emotional wounds, and it's also something that just
Speaker 1: really allows you to feel enlivened, that gives you access
Speaker 1: to the feeling of present moment of groundedness, of peace
Speaker 1: inside of your body. And I've done energy work on
Speaker 1: YouTube's it feels like a spiritual massage, like you could
Speaker 1: literally feel things being removed from you as the energy,
Speaker 1: the energy work is being done. Like you get up
Speaker 1: feeling light like damn, what was on me? You know? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's how That's how I felt. I was going to ask,
Speaker 1: as mama bear right, if a four year old, how
Speaker 1: do you raise him? Because you know, you've been in
Speaker 1: the world. You know what good, what's bad, what's negative,
Speaker 1: what's positive? So you know, how do you raise him?
Speaker 1: Do you put him in school? Do you put him
Speaker 1: around of the kids whose maybe parents are not on
Speaker 1: the align with what do you what you do? Maybe
Speaker 1: not on the same journey. You know, even though you
Speaker 1: might not give him social media, you know, his friend
Speaker 1: might have it, or his friend might get things from
Speaker 1: the house. So how do you raise your four year old? Oh?
Speaker 1: My god, that question is so hard. It's hard. God,
Speaker 1: not every day, all day, it's hard. You know. I
Speaker 1: think about my child every second, so many things envy,
Speaker 1: you know. I feel like we're all kind of on
Speaker 1: this journey of doing a lot of linear healing we're
Speaker 1: bringing forward for our kids, maybe things that never existed
Speaker 1: in our family systems ever, because you think about the
Speaker 1: impact of slavery, you think about the impact of all
Speaker 1: of the structural and societal oppressure and that has existed since,
Speaker 1: and in black and brown communities, there has always been
Speaker 1: a wounding in the parent child relationship to some degree.
Speaker 1: You have your outliers, you have those you know, one
Speaker 1: in a neighborhood, healthy family sometimes and then everyone else.
Speaker 1: It's like you just see this lack of emotional regulation,
Speaker 1: lack of ability to be your authentic self so much
Speaker 1: fear so for me knowing that I can't control the world,
Speaker 1: and also feeling the daily grief of that when you
Speaker 1: have a child. The thing that I really look to
Speaker 1: do with my son ut quest Mandela, I love you
Speaker 1: so much, is teach him how to be aware of himself.
Speaker 1: I am not going to be able to control everything
Speaker 1: that happens in his life, and I don't want to
Speaker 1: hold him in an environment where he's wearing rose colored glasses.
Speaker 1: So I just look to really build his emotional intelligence
Speaker 1: at a very young age. And so a lot of
Speaker 1: that is using affirmative words. Since he was an infant,
Speaker 1: I would sit over him every night and I would say,
Speaker 1: you know, I love myself. I am loving and kind,
Speaker 1: I am strong and resilient, I am creative and curious.
Speaker 1: I am kind. And then now he says them for
Speaker 1: himself every day. He says, I love myself, I'm cherished,
Speaker 1: I'm valued by my mom, I'm you know. I'm teaching
Speaker 1: him the words that will help build his core identity
Speaker 1: to be in a foundation of deep worth. And then
Speaker 1: I think, you know, what's important is teaching them how
Speaker 1: to identify their emotions navigating in the world. That's a
Speaker 1: skill so many of us didn't get. And so with him,
Speaker 1: when he's upset, when he's happy, I try to give
Speaker 1: him language for the things that he's feeling, even before
Speaker 1: he can use the words. And when he's upset, you know,
Speaker 1: I ask him, do you need a hug right now?
Speaker 1: You know, what are you feeling? Someone who's like I'm frustrated,
Speaker 1: I'm feeling frustrated, I'm feeling upset, I'm feeling sad, and
Speaker 1: just greeting all of that and not taking it personally
Speaker 1: and not letting it change the way I feel about
Speaker 1: myself or assume that anything is wrong. I think that
Speaker 1: is one of the things that comes up with even
Speaker 1: the best parents who just want to shower their kids
Speaker 1: with love. Depending on what our life experiences, parenting is
Speaker 1: one of the most triggering things you could ever do
Speaker 1: in your life. It shows you where all your own
Speaker 1: wounds lie. It shows you where maybe things happen in
Speaker 1: your childhood that were different and things that you maybe
Speaker 1: needed that you're now giving your kid. So many of
Speaker 1: us are loving our children in a way that we
Speaker 1: were never loved. So I think just giving him the
Speaker 1: space to be a kid as well is really important
Speaker 1: to me. Everyone that meets my child is always like,
Speaker 1: he's the sweetest guy ever, or he's so happy, or
Speaker 1: he's so this. And because I'm not trying to shift
Speaker 1: his behavior, I'm not telling him he needs to grow
Speaker 1: up faster. He's for He doesn't need to be super sophisticated.
Speaker 1: He doesn't need to have to know how to shake
Speaker 1: hands perfectly, or how to do this or that, or
Speaker 1: how to appear like a little adult. He is his
Speaker 1: own being and I let him be himself. Do you
Speaker 1: let him play sports? His dad play NFL football. You
Speaker 1: talk to a lot of people in the sports world
Speaker 1: do you allow him to play that because it feels like,
Speaker 1: even in sports, they take this one emotion and they
Speaker 1: make you use that motion against their opponents. Right, it's
Speaker 1: usually anger, Right, it's usually aggressive. Right. You've never seen
Speaker 1: a football play that's nice, like, hey, how are you
Speaker 1: doing today? I'm going to tackle you in the second.
Speaker 1: You don't see that? You know? So do you allow
Speaker 1: him to play football in sports? But that's not something
Speaker 1: you thought of already? No, he will not play football. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and that's something that we really talked a lot about
Speaker 1: even during my pregnancy. Um, and that is a that
Speaker 1: is a wish and a desire from his father as well. Um. No,
Speaker 1: it's it's because you know that he's four, but he
Speaker 1: size of an eight year old. Let the record, before
Speaker 1: he physically ever got here, I said that he was
Speaker 1: going to be seven feet tall three hundred fifty. Well
Speaker 1: what's the reason that. Yeah? Um, you know, science is
Speaker 1: showing how much football can affect your brain and I'm
Speaker 1: not willing to take that risk with my child. Um.
Speaker 1: And I think that some of the science that is
Speaker 1: coming out is also showing that kids as early as
Speaker 1: playing even flag football are getting concussions, and that children
Speaker 1: who are um even playing in high school are showing
Speaker 1: effects of CTE. And I'm just I'm completely unwilling to
Speaker 1: risk my child's brain. Um, but I think you know,
Speaker 1: I'm open to other kind of sports, like I always say, laugh,
Speaker 1: I'm like, he can golf. We got volleyball, badminton, baseball,
Speaker 1: you know basketball. Yeah, so no boxing, no boxing, no football,
Speaker 1: no tennis. Tennis is good. He can he can make
Speaker 1: his own choices when he's an adult man. Track Yeah,
Speaker 1: he can run track. You know, he can meditate, we
Speaker 1: could do yoga. Lacrosse is on the come up. Lacresse
Speaker 1: is tough. There's some polo. Now, let's talk about how
Speaker 1: a person can build a daily self care like spiritual
Speaker 1: practice routine just start healing and changing their life. How
Speaker 1: does a person do that? Oh, this is the most
Speaker 1: important thing. And I know, I know you have yours. Now,
Speaker 1: do you guys feel like Angela Vie? You guys are
Speaker 1: have like your morning routines and tradition for kind of
Speaker 1: not for me in the morning so much. It would
Speaker 1: be more before I go to bed, before bed, that's
Speaker 1: perfect too. I I do some in the morning. I've
Speaker 1: always renting late I mean, y'all wake up very early,
Speaker 1: but my practice at night is where I get like,
Speaker 1: really really deeply connected. So everyone talks right now about changing,
Speaker 1: about growing, transforming healing, you have to make it sustainable
Speaker 1: so that it's actually becomes your lived experience and not
Speaker 1: just something you speak but are not acting or living.
Speaker 1: That is what your daily practice does. And I think
Speaker 1: you know sometimes in the mainstream you hear the word
Speaker 1: self care and it's like, yeah, girl, go shop in,
Speaker 1: have some self care. Oh, go take a bag, get
Speaker 1: a massage. Yes, And your self care is it's really
Speaker 1: the practice that supports your life, that supports your destiny,
Speaker 1: that supports your healing. And so what you want to
Speaker 1: do when you're building a practice, first, identify how much
Speaker 1: time you have. I know a lot of people work
Speaker 1: really hard and have a lot of responsibilities. So even
Speaker 1: if only five minutes is possible, please please try to
Speaker 1: gift yourself with this. But if you can be more
Speaker 1: expansive and spend thirty minutes, spend an hour, that could
Speaker 1: be really powerful. What you want to do is you
Speaker 1: want to build your daily practice around the four pillars
Speaker 1: of wholeness, which is mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual you
Speaker 1: want to find something to do every day that falls
Speaker 1: in one of those categories, and so that could look
Speaker 1: like For mental, that could look like journaling, just getting
Speaker 1: your thoughts out. It doesn't have to be dear diary style.
Speaker 1: It could be a couple of bullet points. It could
Speaker 1: be wow, I noticed that I keep thinking about this
Speaker 1: one thought every day. It helps to build or re
Speaker 1: establish your intuition, which is also something that a lot
Speaker 1: of people lack because they so often go against what
Speaker 1: their gut tells them to do. Our intuition is our
Speaker 1: souls GPS, it's our guiding system as the human experience.
Speaker 1: So it's really important that we ignite that ability in ourselves.
Speaker 1: That's the mental category. Looking at the emotional category, that
Speaker 1: could be meditation every day, you know, really sitting and
Speaker 1: getting still, getting quiet and opening up your internal world,
Speaker 1: really coming into a space of knowing how to be
Speaker 1: with yourself, how to meet yourself, how to remember all
Speaker 1: of who you truly are, outside of the roles that
Speaker 1: we play in life, outside of the things that have
Speaker 1: happened to us. You look at physical For some that's
Speaker 1: a workout, Like I know, Y'll be working out. Everybody
Speaker 1: be working out every day, but that could also look
Speaker 1: like a daily stretch practice, that could look like yo,
Speaker 1: that could look like remembering to massage your own shoulders
Speaker 1: at the end of the night because you're aching and
Speaker 1: you deserve your own touch. And then if we look
Speaker 1: at the spiritual category, that could really look like affirmations
Speaker 1: every day speaking life over yourself. And let's take it
Speaker 1: a step deeper than you know, some of the ones
Speaker 1: of like I am abundance or I am love or
Speaker 1: I am strong really call forward what you want to embody.
Speaker 1: You know, one of my first affirmations and my healing
Speaker 1: journey was I'm a precious child of God, leading, leading
Speaker 1: from my heart's center. Yeah, I think that was a
Speaker 1: piece of it. I'm a precious child of God, leading
Speaker 1: from my soul's center, working in mastery of my being.
Speaker 1: Saying that over myself every day changed me. So doing
Speaker 1: something every day that supports who you are and who
Speaker 1: you're becoming and who you have become is essential. It
Speaker 1: also teaches you emotional regulation, which means that every day
Speaker 1: you can go into the world as your true self
Speaker 1: and not as the version of you that's constantly reacting
Speaker 1: to things. So I got to update my mantra as
Speaker 1: the mantra gotten me. Oh yeah, yeah, time to update, okay.
Speaker 1: And I always say, when it comes to when it
Speaker 1: comes to our affirmations, our mantras keep evolving them. Once
Speaker 1: you feel that something clicked into place and you have
Speaker 1: really been wearing that, let's hit something else, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe start to notice what are some other little crevices
Speaker 1: of my life that I want to refine. If I
Speaker 1: feel that I've healed or really done a lot of
Speaker 1: work around my trauma, maybe now I want to start
Speaker 1: to investigate. What's my relationship to money, what's my relationship
Speaker 1: to prosperity. Let me heal that dynamic. What's my relationship
Speaker 1: to the masculine to the feminine in my life? Let
Speaker 1: me look at healing or evolving that experience. But there's
Speaker 1: always more, There's always deeper. Why is it being on
Speaker 1: a healing journey so and so exhausting Because our lived
Speaker 1: experiences are you know, we are to be alive and
Speaker 1: to be human is to be deeply challenged every day.
Speaker 1: You know. For a lot of people that meant having
Speaker 1: really challenging experiences as young people, as adults. For others,
Speaker 1: it's just turning the news on every day and seeing
Speaker 1: how painful it is to be a witness to so
Speaker 1: much tragedy, especially so much tragedy that you know, we
Speaker 1: don't really have the opportunity to shift fully. It's hard
Speaker 1: to behold all that we're seeing right now. It is,
Speaker 1: and we're doing this very dualistic job of staying present
Speaker 1: in our lives, updating our social media, doing all the things,
Speaker 1: raising our kids, doing the things, and seeing people shot
Speaker 1: dead on a daily basis. You know that we don't
Speaker 1: even know the long term effects of taking on this
Speaker 1: much grief every day, which is another reason why having
Speaker 1: that daily practice it makes it not just easier, but
Speaker 1: it does give you the opportunity to have more joy
Speaker 1: even through the midst of all of this. I was
Speaker 1: going to ask you, you know, with especially with kids,
Speaker 1: I'm noticing and I'm seeing kids are more emotional, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: They're more explaining their feelings, expressing their feelings, trying to
Speaker 1: find themselves at an early age. Is that a good
Speaker 1: or a bad thing? Right? And the reason I'm asking
Speaker 1: most people are be like, oh, that's a good thing.
Speaker 1: But I'm seeing a lot of kids not being able
Speaker 1: to find themselves and hurting themselves committing suicide or being
Speaker 1: very quote unquote emo as kids say, So is that
Speaker 1: a good thing a bad thing? Because as a kid,
Speaker 1: that's one thing I don't think I thought of. I
Speaker 1: don't know if anybody else in the room thought of.
Speaker 1: As a kid, I didn't think about how I felt.
Speaker 1: I just went outside and had fun. I went to
Speaker 1: school because I had to. I ate because I had to. Nowadays,
Speaker 1: you know, kids are you know, they're finding out more
Speaker 1: about themselves. They're telling you why they don't want to
Speaker 1: eat vegetables. They're like, it's more of that. But it's
Speaker 1: that good or is that bad? I think because we're
Speaker 1: encouraging conversation, Like I know, growing up, bout my dad,
Speaker 1: shut up, punch me in the chest, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like we would talk to suppress our emotions
Speaker 1: a lot of time. Yeah. Yeah, And you know, from
Speaker 1: my view as a kid, I was always talking about
Speaker 1: my feelings to the point that it made all the
Speaker 1: adults in my life really irritated. And so then you
Speaker 1: kind of hide them a little bit. I think there,
Speaker 1: you know, there is no good or bad, and I
Speaker 1: think that it's both at the same time. And what
Speaker 1: I think is so important about being a conscious and
Speaker 1: active parent in your child's life is really witnessing them
Speaker 1: for themselves, not through our lens of projection of who
Speaker 1: we want them to be or who we were at
Speaker 1: their age, but looking and saying, you know, if my
Speaker 1: child is this way, if they are quote unquote emo,
Speaker 1: or if they are a deep feeler or feeling this
Speaker 1: pressure to know who they are, how can I one
Speaker 1: soothe that a little bit? You know? How can I
Speaker 1: make that more of a gentle experience for them and
Speaker 1: the words I use with themselves? And then also how
Speaker 1: can I support that? How can I if the community
Speaker 1: they need for who they are is not around them,
Speaker 1: how can I look to supplement that in their lives?
Speaker 1: In some ways, I think it's both. I mean, I
Speaker 1: think it's incredible that kids are as self aware as
Speaker 1: they are. It's kind of mind blowing, you know. I
Speaker 1: work with a lot of gen z. Like I just
Speaker 1: taught for a semester in Atlanta with this group of
Speaker 1: young men who were roughly around the age of sixteen.
Speaker 1: So many of the things that I was teaching them,
Speaker 1: they were so familiar with those concepts already, which was like, what,
Speaker 1: how do y'all know how you feel already, but then
Speaker 1: at the same time it can become too much of
Speaker 1: a focus to where you're not giving yourself the chance
Speaker 1: to be something new, to learn new things. I have
Speaker 1: two more questions in that action I want to ask
Speaker 1: of you. But the first question is what does self
Speaker 1: acceptance look like. Acceptance looks like deep surrender and deep trust.
Speaker 1: To accept yourself means that you are aware of all
Speaker 1: that you are, including the things that may be a
Speaker 1: little bit unfinished or the things that you may have judged,
Speaker 1: but to know that it all serves purpose. You know,
Speaker 1: to have acceptances to also have this trust that I
Speaker 1: may not like everything that's happening right now or that
Speaker 1: has happened to me, but I do understand and trust
Speaker 1: that it is serving a purpose I don't yet know.
Speaker 1: And so I am an acceptance of what currently is.
Speaker 1: Doesn't mean you don't want it to change, doesn't mean
Speaker 1: it doesn't have the potential to change. But I'm an
Speaker 1: acceptance that this jest is when you come into acceptance,
Speaker 1: you come into your personal power because you're not trying
Speaker 1: to fight everything, you're not trying to control every outcome.
Speaker 1: You're creating this space for more to unfold, and that's
Speaker 1: where you get to be creative with yourself. You get
Speaker 1: to be creative with your life. You get to be
Speaker 1: a co creator of what this journey will look like
Speaker 1: for you. But you have to be an acceptance. If
Speaker 1: you're in judgment of yourself, if you're in judgment of
Speaker 1: your life experiences, it makes it almost impossible to change
Speaker 1: any of them in a really meaningful way. Is that
Speaker 1: the first step to beginning to love yourself? Because that's
Speaker 1: my second question, How do you begin to love yourself?
Speaker 1: I think they're kind of both happening at the same time,
Speaker 1: but I will say you to love yourself. It's a
Speaker 1: constantly evolving process, but I think it does require that
Speaker 1: daily practice that I talked about. Loving yourself requires your
Speaker 1: own sweat equity into yourself and your body. Loving yourself
Speaker 1: can't be related to how really you look, how other
Speaker 1: people are validating you or not, how they're treating you.
Speaker 1: It has to be like, I exist and that's enough,
Speaker 1: and that alone is worthy of love. I am breathing
Speaker 1: right now. That is worthy of love, That is worthy
Speaker 1: of gratitude, no matter who I've been, no matter what
Speaker 1: choices I want to redo. There is more to me
Speaker 1: than one definition. So yeah, the action I want to
Speaker 1: ask is, like, you know, I know we have a
Speaker 1: lot of people listening right now. They might have seen
Speaker 1: the sessions they you know, probably listen to dropping gems.
Speaker 1: I want to do like a mindfulness minute, like what's up?
Speaker 1: What's up? Breathing exercise is something that we could do
Speaker 1: to like just ground people right now in this moment.
Speaker 1: I would love to are you guys all going to
Speaker 1: do with me? Sure? Okay? I want to ask everybody
Speaker 1: right now listening connecting to the sound of my voice
Speaker 1: Angela and v Shar come into a relaxed state with
Speaker 1: your body, and I want to invite you to gently
Speaker 1: close your eyes and if you can just uncross your
Speaker 1: arms a little bit and let your back sit really supported,
Speaker 1: let your spine feel straight and supported. And I want
Speaker 1: you to just notice your body now with your eyes closed,
Speaker 1: and notice how your seat feels, how you feel in
Speaker 1: your seat, and just see if there's an opportunity to
Speaker 1: feel a little softer inside of your body right now
Speaker 1: in this moment. Release any tension that maybe in your shoulders.
Speaker 1: Let your forearms just be really gently on the tops
Speaker 1: of your thighs. Maybe turn your palms upward into a
Speaker 1: state of receiving. Unclench your jaw if there's any pressure present,
Speaker 1: and now let yourself just stretch your neck a little
Speaker 1: bit from side to side. Your eyes are closed, and
Speaker 1: now let's connect to our breath first. Begin to notice
Speaker 1: how your natural breath is feeling in your body, how
Speaker 1: it feels in your chest, in and out, supporting your existence.
Speaker 1: And I want to invite you to take your right
Speaker 1: hand and place it over your chest, right at your
Speaker 1: heart center. And now just notice what that pressure of
Speaker 1: your hand feels like. Would you like it to be
Speaker 1: a firmer touch, a lighter touch. Can the palm of
Speaker 1: your hand connect to the core of your heart? And
Speaker 1: just notice the support that you feel in your body
Speaker 1: holding yourself in this way. And now we're going to
Speaker 1: begin some deep breathing through our noses. We're going to
Speaker 1: do some big inhales through her nose and then out
Speaker 1: of our nose, and we'll do this three times together.
Speaker 1: And what we're looking to do is take a big
Speaker 1: deep inhale, slowly fully starting now filling your chest and
Speaker 1: really stretched, take it a little more air, and then
Speaker 1: hold the air at the top. Once it's in, allow
Speaker 1: it to circulate for a moment. And now as we
Speaker 1: breathe out of our nose, I want you to do
Speaker 1: it slowly and fully, really pace yourself on that exhale,
Speaker 1: let it all come out. And now we'll begin that
Speaker 1: breath again and through your nose, let your chest expand
Speaker 1: your heart open, hold it and release. And now begin
Speaker 1: again in through your nose and hold it and release
Speaker 1: that breath. And I still gently closed, hand over heart,
Speaker 1: allow yourself to return to whatever breath feels natural and
Speaker 1: nourishing and internally right now, silently to yourself, I'd like
Speaker 1: you to repeat, I am calling forward my highest self.
Speaker 1: I am calling forward my highest self. I am calling
Speaker 1: forward my highest self. I am calling forward my highest self.
Speaker 1: And I want you to think about something currently present
Speaker 1: in your life, something that has charged it could be
Speaker 1: perceived as good as challenging, but something that you've really
Speaker 1: been chewing on lately. Some dynamic may be in your
Speaker 1: life or relationship, or something you're excited about. I would
Speaker 1: just want you to hold that seat in your mind's eye,
Speaker 1: whatever is unique to you that you are working with
Speaker 1: in this moment, and I want you to think about
Speaker 1: any nourishing or evolutionary choices or lens of perceptions that
Speaker 1: you can shift to around whatever this morsel is that
Speaker 1: you're chewing on, whatever is present. Is it about surrendering,
Speaker 1: Is it about an action step, or is it just
Speaker 1: an observation something that can be released and now based
Speaker 1: on your unique experience that you're holding in your mind
Speaker 1: and your heart, I want you to think of an
Speaker 1: intention around it. And maybe it is my intention is
Speaker 1: to release this, or my intention is to really feel
Speaker 1: all of this, or my intention is to manifest this
Speaker 1: and silently within your own hearts to yourselves, I want
Speaker 1: you to state that intention my intention is, and you
Speaker 1: can do it inside in this moment, and everyone connecting
Speaker 1: to the sound of my voice listening, I hope you're
Speaker 1: doing the same. And now we're gonna do a cleansing
Speaker 1: lion's breath, which is gonna be a deep inhale through
Speaker 1: your nose, and then it'll be followed out by signing
Speaker 1: it out through your mouth with your tongue out and
Speaker 1: it'll sound a little like this. So we'll begin our
Speaker 1: inhale now through our noses and release through your mouth,
Speaker 1: and now shake out your hand that was on your heart,
Speaker 1: allow it to drop back down to the tops of
Speaker 1: your thighs, and as you feel ready, gently open your eyes. Ah,
Speaker 1: how do you guys? How can I want to sleep?
Speaker 1: Just that I want to do that. I want to
Speaker 1: I've been telling iHeart for the longest. We need a
Speaker 1: mindfulness minute on the radio during the middays. I've screamed
Speaker 1: it to a million different executives. It needs to happen.
Speaker 1: People need that, And you know that experience that we
Speaker 1: just did. If everyone could start and end their day
Speaker 1: like that, we'll probably spent maybe a minute there, right.
Speaker 1: If I wasn't talking and you just did the breath
Speaker 1: with myself, maybe thirty seconds. That is a daily practice.
Speaker 1: What we just did that was breathwork. So that's an
Speaker 1: experience that you can invite into your life to regulate
Speaker 1: your nervousness. Because what was happening internally as we did
Speaker 1: that was our body was able to come into the
Speaker 1: present moment. We were in the moment of what is
Speaker 1: We were inside of our bodies. Many people that heard
Speaker 1: my voice were connecting to parts of their bodies for
Speaker 1: the first time. If you're under deep stress or you
Speaker 1: have had trauma, you don't feel present in your body,
Speaker 1: and so to just be able to settle into yourself
Speaker 1: and then to give yourself that nourishing breath that resets
Speaker 1: your emotional center, it changes what's possible. The thing about trauma, depression, stress, anxiety,
Speaker 1: it limits what's possible in your life because it limits
Speaker 1: the choices you make and how you view yourself. When
Speaker 1: you have daily practice and when you do a breath
Speaker 1: like that, it reconnects you to the truth of who
Speaker 1: you are. When you're coming from your authenticity, when you're
Speaker 1: not triggered, and from that space, it's limitless because you're
Speaker 1: able to make endless amounts of choices of who you'll be,
Speaker 1: how you'll behave, what you'll do. And that's what so
Speaker 1: many of us need. We just need to be able
Speaker 1: to be anchored into the moment, to feel like ourselves
Speaker 1: inside so that we can make the decisions that really
Speaker 1: honor our lives. If you do a panic attacks, anxiety
Speaker 1: attacks at work, school, whatever it is, like that gets
Speaker 1: you right back to where you need to be, well,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Brand tell them where to follow you.
Speaker 1: Death heit me on Instagram at Debbie Brown, my website
Speaker 1: Debbie Brown and on Amazon Prime Video. Watch the Sessions.
Speaker 1: It is an incredible, incredible documentary by Religion of Sports, myself,
Speaker 1: Deepak Chopra, and NBA superstar Draymond Green. Are there going
Speaker 1: to be other sessions? There are going to be other sessions, um,
Speaker 1: and we're really excited. I can't say anything yet, but
Speaker 1: we're really excited about how that is going to unfold.
Speaker 1: But that is definitely the intention. You know, Um, one
Speaker 1: of the things I love about the work that I
Speaker 1: do is supporting people who have lives of high impact.
Speaker 1: You know, when you can show up in this life
Speaker 1: of impact that you're living as all of yourself, how
Speaker 1: you're actually meant to change the world becomes more alive
Speaker 1: and more possible. And pick up DeBie Brown's book, Crystal
Speaker 1: Bliss Your Devil was talking about Crystal's Way before everybody
Speaker 1: else was. That book dropped in with twenty fourteen. Yeah fourteen,
Speaker 1: like yeah. And make sure you subscribed to Devi's podcast
Speaker 1: Dropping Gyms on the Black Effect podcast Network. There's so many,
Speaker 1: you know, high level conscious conversations on that podcast, So
Speaker 1: make sure you subscribe to that. Black Effect's Breakfast Club
Speaker 1: is Debbie Rap