1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:05,720 Speaker 1: Wait that answer in the morning Breakfast Club Morning, Everybody's 2 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:09,720 Speaker 1: DJ Envy angela Ye, Charlemagne the guy we are the 3 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:12,200 Speaker 1: breakfast Club. We got a special guest in the ballots, right, 4 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:16,920 Speaker 1: this divine being having a human experience, Master, well being, educator, 5 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:20,799 Speaker 1: doom to keep going. Oh. She has many teaching certifications. 6 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 1: She has many teaching certifications including meditation, breathwork and the Child, 7 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:29,800 Speaker 1: healing and spiritual psychology. She's an energy healer. She hosting 8 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: leaves many spiritual spiritual retreats a year. She teaches in 9 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:35,760 Speaker 1: God's Delhi Meditations on the Choper app. She advises on 10 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:38,640 Speaker 1: well being and teaches mindfulness for several corporations. She's an 11 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 1: author of a book called Crystal Bliss, and she holds 12 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:43,360 Speaker 1: a podcast on the black Back podcast network called Dropping 13 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,919 Speaker 1: Gems It's My Good System. And she has a four 14 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,280 Speaker 1: year old that is taller than Charlemagne. That is a fact. 15 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 1: DEMI gods are you talking about? Quest is a big 16 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: little boy? That is a fact. Yes, welcome, I come mon, 17 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:06,319 Speaker 1: good morning. How are you, Debbie. I'm incredible. I feel incredible. Okay, 18 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,720 Speaker 1: this moment in time is a lot, but it's also 19 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:12,320 Speaker 1: there's magic in it. For all of us. What makes 20 00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:16,560 Speaker 1: you feel so incredible? You know, I think I'm excited 21 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:18,679 Speaker 1: about where we all get to be in our lives 22 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,240 Speaker 1: in this moment, Like this is the first time ever 23 00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 1: in human history that we've all been able to become 24 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 1: higher versions of ourselves, like so many at a time. 25 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:31,119 Speaker 1: We all have more resources, more support for mental health, 26 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,399 Speaker 1: more support for emotional health. So it's like even when 27 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,759 Speaker 1: I get to see friends I haven't seen in a while, 28 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 1: like I feel like we get to meet each other 29 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,080 Speaker 1: at new levels. You know, we get to have deeper 30 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:44,480 Speaker 1: conversations with the people that we love. We get to 31 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 1: be you know, just set our boundaries, be ourselves. People 32 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:53,120 Speaker 1: that say, what are you talking about? Debbie does And 33 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:56,320 Speaker 1: we're in a recession, interest rates at all time high, 34 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:59,160 Speaker 1: but you still find a positive out of it, you 35 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 1: know what it? Life is both the human experience. We're 36 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 1: always oscillating between these two ends of the spectrum, joy 37 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:09,639 Speaker 1: and grief. And I think that, you know, the viewpoint 38 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:11,760 Speaker 1: I have of it, and something I really had to 39 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:14,960 Speaker 1: come into in the pandemic was the moments that feel 40 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:19,240 Speaker 1: like joy. I have to let myself feel all of it, 41 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,880 Speaker 1: you know, I want every inch of delight when it's present, 42 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,839 Speaker 1: because life is hard, life is challenging. Like we walk 43 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,800 Speaker 1: to the table with so many things that we've experienced 44 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 1: that no one knows about, and then we're alive right 45 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,760 Speaker 1: now with you know, it is what it is, all 46 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: the things happening. So when I get a chance to 47 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,040 Speaker 1: be with people I love, when I get a chance 48 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 1: to do anything that sparks in my spirit, I try 49 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:47,000 Speaker 1: to feel every single piece of it. There are times 50 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 1: when people feel guilty too, because they may be experiencing 51 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:54,040 Speaker 1: a lot of positivity, but there's so much going on 52 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:56,200 Speaker 1: around you that you don't feel like you can even 53 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,360 Speaker 1: celebrate that. Yeah, yeah, And I think it's important too, 54 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,839 Speaker 1: because that's what allows us to sustain. Like, I think 55 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,160 Speaker 1: the thing we've all gotten so wrong about the human 56 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:08,320 Speaker 1: experience is like everyone thinks that the goal is always 57 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:11,239 Speaker 1: supreme happiness and that if it's not that, then those 58 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:13,200 Speaker 1: are the periods of your life you don't really sit 59 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:15,880 Speaker 1: with or look at or talk about. But we need 60 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 1: the grief, we need the pain and dressed as much 61 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 1: as we need everything else. So you know, even in 62 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,639 Speaker 1: the midst of the moment of time we're having now 63 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:27,160 Speaker 1: where everything is crazy, and it's been crazy, you know, 64 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,280 Speaker 1: It's I wake up every day and I'm just like, 65 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,800 Speaker 1: but how can I fuel my fire? How can I 66 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 1: keep that internal oven inside of me just constantly going 67 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,480 Speaker 1: from myself, from my life for my child? Can we 68 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 1: go back to It's like almost the beginning, right because 69 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 1: when you think of you know, Dev Dev, A lot 70 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,160 Speaker 1: of us probably know DEVI Deaf from radio. You know, 71 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 1: we started DEVII Dev. You know I met you at 72 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:52,760 Speaker 1: k D in La and like oh seven and you 73 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 1: know you on Sway Show. But it's like you've always 74 00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:01,480 Speaker 1: been this spiritually connected person. When do you when do 75 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:04,840 Speaker 1: you like first remember that like connection to a higher power? 76 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,760 Speaker 1: You know, I think so many things play into that. 77 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 1: I think by nature, I'm an only child raised by 78 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 1: a single parent, which is a certain kind of experience 79 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 1: that kind of keeps you in your head a lot. 80 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,440 Speaker 1: So I think that was a piece of it. But 81 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:23,520 Speaker 1: I've always just been fascinated by transformation of any kind. 82 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 1: Like I was definitely reading self help books as a 83 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:29,520 Speaker 1: little girl. I was just so interested in what made 84 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:36,320 Speaker 1: people themselves but also what kept people from becoming themselves. Now, 85 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 1: one time you decided to give this all up right, yeah, 86 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,240 Speaker 1: you would. You were very successful doing radio. You were 87 00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:44,839 Speaker 1: in Houston, they were talking about syndication, you were talking 88 00:04:44,839 --> 00:04:46,680 Speaker 1: about moving back to la and then you said you 89 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,919 Speaker 1: were one of the best radio personality in the country. 90 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:50,560 Speaker 1: I mean's still one of the best personalities, but you 91 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,719 Speaker 1: were on the radio as one of the best personalities 92 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,400 Speaker 1: in the country. And then you said, thank you, I'm 93 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:57,960 Speaker 1: done with this. Well what made you say, you know what, 94 00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,919 Speaker 1: I don't want to do this anymore? What? What was? 95 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,720 Speaker 1: Why are you clinching yourself like that they need to 96 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:09,600 Speaker 1: hear this this morning? You know, it was a couple 97 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:13,159 Speaker 1: of things. I think the amazing thing about the show 98 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,720 Speaker 1: that y'all do is you guys have established something so 99 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:20,040 Speaker 1: rare and different than has ever been I think in broadcasting. 100 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:21,960 Speaker 1: And you guys get to show up as your full 101 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,320 Speaker 1: selves at work. You get to have the conversations that 102 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:27,480 Speaker 1: matter to you. Where I was when I was doing 103 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:31,720 Speaker 1: radio that had started becoming so closed off. You know, 104 00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:34,080 Speaker 1: at one point when I was working in radio, I 105 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 1: was able to have meaningful conversations like I went viral 106 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:40,559 Speaker 1: with Kanye, went viral with Kendrick talking about mental health. 107 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,040 Speaker 1: And then you know, the powers that be they just 108 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:47,120 Speaker 1: say talk less, talk less, you know, where I used 109 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:48,800 Speaker 1: to have a talk break where I could really connect it, 110 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 1: but like do that in eleven seconds, but say the 111 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:55,279 Speaker 1: whole liner, you know. And it's just I just felt 112 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:58,279 Speaker 1: like I wasn't able to use this gift of communication 113 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:01,440 Speaker 1: at the level that God really commanded of me, at 114 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:04,600 Speaker 1: the level that felt fulfilling to me, And so I 115 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:06,920 Speaker 1: knew that I needed to find I wanted to have 116 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:11,719 Speaker 1: different conversations, and I think you know, when I left radio, 117 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:16,800 Speaker 1: that was like twenty sixteen, twenty seventeen, so the kind 118 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:19,960 Speaker 1: of conversations I was having weren't really popular at the time. 119 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:21,919 Speaker 1: Like I wanted to kind of talk about some of 120 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,280 Speaker 1: the darker stuff. I wanted to talk about some of 121 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:27,919 Speaker 1: the more complicated, complex things, and I just kind of 122 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,440 Speaker 1: do that on the terrestrial radio. I was at like 123 00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:33,560 Speaker 1: I remember one of my bosses at the time was like, 124 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,560 Speaker 1: I want you to start doing a segment about groupies 125 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,640 Speaker 1: where you take callers and ask them what celebrities they 126 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:42,000 Speaker 1: slept with Jesus, And I was like, sir, do you 127 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 1: know me at all? It's like, well, I can't do that, 128 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,600 Speaker 1: so let me let me find my place, and you know, 129 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,280 Speaker 1: I wanted to have more adventure. Like I at that point, 130 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:55,440 Speaker 1: I knew spirituality was the leading leading journey emission for 131 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:58,080 Speaker 1: my life, and so I just said, I have to 132 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:02,240 Speaker 1: invest everything about myself to that. Let me ask you this, 133 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:05,080 Speaker 1: you did say back then, those conversations weren't as popular 134 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,599 Speaker 1: as they are now. And definitely now I feel like 135 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 1: people are having those conversations about spirituality, about mental health 136 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:15,560 Speaker 1: a lot more. But there's so many different conflicting things, 137 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 1: so much information out there, so many people that you're like, Okay, 138 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 1: who do I listen to? Who do I trust? Who 139 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,960 Speaker 1: do I believe? Right? So how do people manage to 140 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 1: kind of filter through all of that noise? That is 141 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 1: so good? Because it is like the wild West out here, 142 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:34,800 Speaker 1: like it really is, Like you know, I think everybody 143 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,320 Speaker 1: should vet everyone that they talk to. And I think 144 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 1: what's really important is there is this kind of split 145 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:43,680 Speaker 1: between people that are enthusiasts and are sharing processes that 146 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:47,120 Speaker 1: maybe worked really well for their individual lives. But we 147 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:51,080 Speaker 1: all have complex lives. We all have so many experiences 148 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 1: that made us us. So I think it's just really 149 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 1: important to connect with people that are deeply studied that 150 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 1: are experts in this space, you know, work with people 151 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 1: who have embodied what they're saying, not just sharing maybe 152 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 1: the tips and tricks or not just you know, saying 153 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,240 Speaker 1: the things of like I read this book and it 154 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 1: said this, but who has been applying it to their 155 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:13,240 Speaker 1: life in a way that it's transformed them and this 156 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:16,000 Speaker 1: is their way of being? Those are always the people 157 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,880 Speaker 1: I'm like kind of guide more in that direction. And 158 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:21,200 Speaker 1: I believe in a holistic view. I think if you know, 159 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:24,800 Speaker 1: for anybody listening that feels called to a healing journey 160 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,960 Speaker 1: or any kind of like internal exploration, you have to 161 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,800 Speaker 1: do it from mind, body, and spirit. You know, therapy 162 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 1: is incredible and it's one of the foundational steps, but 163 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:40,200 Speaker 1: you also need everything else. You need body practice, you 164 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:44,480 Speaker 1: need something that really feeds and grows and builds your spirit. Like, 165 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,319 Speaker 1: we can't just do one thing. It has to be 166 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:50,680 Speaker 1: an integrated approach to have real transformation. Can we expound 167 00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:52,440 Speaker 1: on that? I remember you telling me that you know 168 00:08:52,559 --> 00:08:54,400 Speaker 1: years ago use this Like, you know, therapy is great, 169 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,120 Speaker 1: and I'm glad you in therapy, but you need more 170 00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:00,480 Speaker 1: than just therapy to transform your life. Like, exactly does 171 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 1: that look like? So even with therapy, there's so many 172 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,680 Speaker 1: different kinds of therapy, and I think a lot of people, 173 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 1: especially now, because we're just so new to all of this, 174 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,080 Speaker 1: everyone goes to cognitive therapy, which is kind of like 175 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:16,199 Speaker 1: the standard talk therapy. For some people, that is actually 176 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,320 Speaker 1: not the best option. Depending on what you are company 177 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:23,080 Speaker 1: the table with, potentially what kind of traumas or experiences 178 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:27,040 Speaker 1: you've had, you may need somatic therapy, you may need DBT, 179 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:31,000 Speaker 1: you may need all these different styles. And so that's 180 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,200 Speaker 1: why I say, like, also get creative with it. When 181 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,000 Speaker 1: you're on your journey and you start to feel maybe 182 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:38,720 Speaker 1: a little stuck, something isn't working, start exploring, start googling, 183 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:43,680 Speaker 1: start asking more questions. But the piece about therapy is 184 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:47,760 Speaker 1: it keeps you in your head. It helps you understand 185 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,439 Speaker 1: yourself and the things that have happened, and it gives 186 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 1: you the language to talk about it. But it doesn't 187 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 1: always give you the opportunity to live this new knowing. 188 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 1: At point, it can be really powerful to invite in 189 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,920 Speaker 1: like spiritual practice or a self care practice, so that 190 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:11,000 Speaker 1: you are applying acceptance to yourself, You're applying loving to yourself. 191 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 1: You know, it's one thing to know everything, but to 192 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 1: know everything and still love yourself, to know everything and 193 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:20,319 Speaker 1: come into compassion for the people that have harmed you. 194 00:10:20,679 --> 00:10:24,319 Speaker 1: It takes many different processes. And you know, you're you're 195 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:27,920 Speaker 1: a master well being educator. You have you know a 196 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,200 Speaker 1: lot of certification. What does that look like too for 197 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 1: people who would be like, oh, how do I know 198 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 1: she just didn't read a book like you actually invested 199 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:37,640 Speaker 1: in yourself with this. Yeah. Yeah, I mean I've read 200 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,200 Speaker 1: a lot of books and I've done a lot of 201 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 1: process on myself. This is also you know, probably fifteen 202 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:45,720 Speaker 1: years of therapy on myself, a lot of working with 203 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:49,839 Speaker 1: healing practitioners all over the world. But yeah, I dedicated 204 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,000 Speaker 1: really the last ten years of my life. Even while 205 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,720 Speaker 1: I was still in radio, I was also enrolled in 206 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:59,360 Speaker 1: different programs and just amassing my knowledge, you know. My 207 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,800 Speaker 1: thing was and and I really encourage anybody listening for 208 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:05,320 Speaker 1: whatever field you're in, if you're called to something, if 209 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,960 Speaker 1: you know it's something that you know, not just in 210 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,480 Speaker 1: the way we used to say it, like you do 211 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:11,720 Speaker 1: it if it was for free, No, if it's something 212 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 1: that you're curious about, like you're always thinking about it, 213 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:18,720 Speaker 1: you're always trying to find different facets of it, invest 214 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,480 Speaker 1: in yourself. You know, I knew this was my path. 215 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,920 Speaker 1: I knew I was called to help people heal, to 216 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,120 Speaker 1: help alleviate internal suffering. And I didn't want to just 217 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,000 Speaker 1: do it from a place of like motivation and positivity. 218 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,840 Speaker 1: I wanted to really know what is the deep process 219 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:36,200 Speaker 1: of transformation? And also what are all the things that 220 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,199 Speaker 1: people are facing? You know, what are things that keep 221 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,360 Speaker 1: what are the barriers that are in place for different 222 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:45,360 Speaker 1: kinds of people that keep them from healing? And what 223 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:48,120 Speaker 1: books helped you? What helped you on your journey? Oh God, 224 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:52,400 Speaker 1: so many things, so many books. I think one of 225 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,040 Speaker 1: the books that I love and I speak to this 226 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:57,880 Speaker 1: book a lot. But it's simple, it's short, but it 227 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,800 Speaker 1: is powerful and can be used on a daily basis 228 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,400 Speaker 1: is The Seven Spiritual Laws with Success by Deepak Chopra. 229 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:08,840 Speaker 1: What I love about that book is it really expands 230 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:12,680 Speaker 1: your understanding of what life could be like if you 231 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:16,120 Speaker 1: really come into a place of surrender of trust that 232 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:20,720 Speaker 1: everything that was unfolding is ultimately for your highest good, 233 00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:24,240 Speaker 1: even the things that may not have received your consent, 234 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:28,280 Speaker 1: even the things that still feel like an open wound 235 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:33,760 Speaker 1: coming into acceptance of that and then really alcomizing all 236 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:37,960 Speaker 1: that life has given you to transform, to create, to 237 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:43,240 Speaker 1: have new possibilities. That book really gave me, like the 238 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 1: zoomed out expanded view of what could be essentially brought 239 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,680 Speaker 1: up Deepak Chopra, I want to talk about Dear Prime 240 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:55,599 Speaker 1: showed the sessions. Yes, yeah, Daymond Green on now in particular, 241 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:59,640 Speaker 1: So you're talking about just the mental well being and 242 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:03,120 Speaker 1: so being able to focus right with Jraymond Green. Why 243 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,240 Speaker 1: in particular do you think athletes need to focus on 244 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,040 Speaker 1: something like this and how do you think it helped them? Gosh, 245 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:12,280 Speaker 1: I think it's so important. First, like religion of sports 246 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 1: came up with this phenomenal concept. This is their beautiful 247 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:21,360 Speaker 1: body of work. They tell really powerful stories, and it 248 00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:24,199 Speaker 1: was myself and it was Deepak and we were in 249 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:28,439 Speaker 1: this really beautiful process with Draymond. What I think is 250 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:31,480 Speaker 1: so important about that not just from the athletic lens, 251 00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:34,480 Speaker 1: but from the masculinity lens, Like I think this is 252 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:40,120 Speaker 1: really a moment of divine masculinity, of men's transformative healing, 253 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:44,079 Speaker 1: of men's kind of awakening, and so the opportunity to 254 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 1: kind of work with someone who already has such ingrained dedication, discipline, 255 00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 1: knowledge of their body, knowledge of themselves. I thought was 256 00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:56,880 Speaker 1: a really amazing experience because then we just got to 257 00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,400 Speaker 1: go in and kind of chisel a little bit, you know, 258 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:02,520 Speaker 1: kind of fine tune the process. How receptive was he 259 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:07,800 Speaker 1: to this at first? So receptive, like so receptive he 260 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,360 Speaker 1: came in and it was just it was just a 261 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,800 Speaker 1: joy and a privilege to work with Draymond because he 262 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:16,920 Speaker 1: is so smart, so self aware already. And he came 263 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:20,040 Speaker 1: in saying, and if you watch the show, Deepak asked him, 264 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,560 Speaker 1: you know, where are you at on an emotional level, 265 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:25,080 Speaker 1: from you know, one to ten? And I think he 266 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,360 Speaker 1: said he was a four. And then Deepak said, well, 267 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:30,160 Speaker 1: then you're suffering, you know, And we don't always look 268 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,360 Speaker 1: at that when everything else is amazing in our lives, 269 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:36,680 Speaker 1: or if you're super successful, got all of this, you know, 270 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:40,960 Speaker 1: acclaim opportunity that piece. You know, we often just say like, 271 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,640 Speaker 1: oh yeah, I feel it there. It's like a little 272 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,640 Speaker 1: seed in the pit of my stomach or sometimes in 273 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:49,320 Speaker 1: my heart, but I'll pad everything else around it. And 274 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:53,200 Speaker 1: you know, he came into the experience like, Okay, how 275 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,720 Speaker 1: does this work? Tell me? X Y and Z and 276 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:58,400 Speaker 1: then by you know, by the later part of our 277 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,360 Speaker 1: sessions when we were meeting, he was like, Okay, so 278 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,120 Speaker 1: I've read this book. I've read this book. I've read 279 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,680 Speaker 1: this book. I understand it like this, and he was 280 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:07,600 Speaker 1: just really ready to feel things that maybe he hadn't 281 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,400 Speaker 1: felt before. Oh, I want to get back to the 282 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,360 Speaker 1: sessions on Amazon, but I want to talk about the 283 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:16,040 Speaker 1: connection with Deepak, because I call you Tupac Cholber, right, 284 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:19,560 Speaker 1: and so to see you and Deepak actually working together now, 285 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,960 Speaker 1: I was like surreal in a lot of ways. How 286 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,200 Speaker 1: did that connection happen? Oh, my God, surreal? So godly. 287 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,920 Speaker 1: You always got to listen to the whispers of God, 288 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,160 Speaker 1: you know. I feel like when you can really get 289 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,920 Speaker 1: into a space of following the flow of where life 290 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,240 Speaker 1: wants to lead you and not where you're trying to 291 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:41,680 Speaker 1: make it go, miracles happen. And so you know, with Deepac, 292 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:45,840 Speaker 1: I was absolutely a student of his work and just 293 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:50,200 Speaker 1: I was so transformed. Deepac has written over ninety books 294 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:53,920 Speaker 1: in his lifetime, Like his depth of knowledge is so massive. 295 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:57,480 Speaker 1: So it really started where I was burned out. I 296 00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:01,080 Speaker 1: was working in radio, like we talked about in my twenties, 297 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 1: and I ended up getting shingles, which is highly painful 298 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,560 Speaker 1: for anybody that's had it, but it's also specifically something 299 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,600 Speaker 1: you don't get to like your seventies and your eighties. 300 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,280 Speaker 1: I had it in my twenties and I was like, 301 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,960 Speaker 1: this life isn't sustainable, like clearly, like for people that 302 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,920 Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know what it is. So shingles 303 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 1: is a virus that lays dormant in your body after 304 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,680 Speaker 1: you have the chicken pox, and it's typically something that 305 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:28,800 Speaker 1: doesn't manifest until you are in your elderly years, but 306 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,760 Speaker 1: it can be brought forward with a lot of stress, 307 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:34,040 Speaker 1: and it is very painful. It often presents as like 308 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:37,320 Speaker 1: a big rash somewhere for a length of time, and 309 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:41,440 Speaker 1: no medicine alleviates the pain. For me, it felt like 310 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:46,600 Speaker 1: there was a frozen ice pick stabbing you in your nerve, 311 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:52,440 Speaker 1: really painful. Um. And so this was like, you know, 312 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,480 Speaker 1: ten years ago, and I went online and I just 313 00:16:55,680 --> 00:17:01,920 Speaker 1: typed in like detox, help retreat something, and the first 314 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,399 Speaker 1: thing that popped up was a photo of DPAC and 315 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:06,800 Speaker 1: it was for his health center. And so I ended 316 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,600 Speaker 1: up going on a ten day detox retreat and it 317 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,840 Speaker 1: changed everything about my life, and I ended up doing 318 00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:15,640 Speaker 1: so many of the programs that Chopra offered, which eventually 319 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,199 Speaker 1: led me to do their teacher training program and get 320 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:21,720 Speaker 1: certified in meditation. And so our relationship was really just 321 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:25,919 Speaker 1: growing and building, And when Chopra Global launched about two 322 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,360 Speaker 1: years ago, I ended up coming on board as their 323 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:31,440 Speaker 1: chief Impact Officer and leading some of their initiatives. Was 324 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:35,119 Speaker 1: that pressure? What does that mean? I wasn't pressure. Did 325 00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:38,119 Speaker 1: you feel pressure once you were in that position? No? 326 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:42,960 Speaker 1: I felt so aligned For me. It was just it 327 00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:46,800 Speaker 1: was just the deepest acknowledgement that my path was what 328 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,000 Speaker 1: I was envisioning, that I was exactly where I was 329 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:52,000 Speaker 1: supposed to be. So I think I really trust myself. 330 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:55,240 Speaker 1: I trust my life, I trust myself, I trust my expertise. 331 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:59,080 Speaker 1: So I felt like it was divine alignment. Applied these 332 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:01,920 Speaker 1: skills to your life. How have you been handling things 333 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:06,480 Speaker 1: differently than you used to when you were younger? Everything? 334 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,760 Speaker 1: You know? I think for me boundaries like really just 335 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:17,960 Speaker 1: understanding myself and understanding that you know, this is my movie. 336 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,960 Speaker 1: I'm the star of my movie, I'm a supporting character, 337 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:23,080 Speaker 1: and a lot of people's movies, I'm a supporting character 338 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:26,000 Speaker 1: in your movie, you're a supporting character in mine. But 339 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:29,200 Speaker 1: I have to make myself in my life a priority. 340 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:32,359 Speaker 1: And to do that, you really cannot care what people think. 341 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:36,760 Speaker 1: You cannot allow other people's projections to change how you 342 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:39,440 Speaker 1: think about yourself or make you bend or contorting in 343 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,560 Speaker 1: any way. And I think that that was one of 344 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,600 Speaker 1: the biggest things. It's like, just by being alive, we're 345 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,639 Speaker 1: constantly comparing. It starts in our childhood with our parents, 346 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,719 Speaker 1: with the kids in school, but especially as adults, especially 347 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,480 Speaker 1: if you work in the entertainment industry, bacal social media, 348 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,879 Speaker 1: Oh my god, especially with social media, like it's impossible 349 00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:00,760 Speaker 1: not to and so just really kind of zooming out 350 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:04,960 Speaker 1: of that matrix and just saying like, I can't care 351 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:09,080 Speaker 1: what anybody else thinks. I have to trust that my 352 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,119 Speaker 1: path in my life is mine. That's one way to 353 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:13,800 Speaker 1: create a healthy boundary. What are some other ways to 354 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:18,879 Speaker 1: create healthy boundaries? So healthy boundaries, the first part is 355 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,440 Speaker 1: you have to become really aware of yourself and who 356 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:24,480 Speaker 1: you are. I think a lot of this boundary conversation 357 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:29,280 Speaker 1: tends to tilt into using boundaries as more of a wall, 358 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,480 Speaker 1: a wall of protection. A barrier against other people and 359 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,880 Speaker 1: also a judgment of other people. When I hear people 360 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,879 Speaker 1: talk about boundaries, even on social media, I think we 361 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:40,920 Speaker 1: have to really upgrade our understanding of why we don't 362 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,920 Speaker 1: have them to begin with. You know, it's like everyone's like, 363 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:48,639 Speaker 1: now I'm going to have boundaries, and you know, and 364 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,240 Speaker 1: anybody that doesn't have my boundaries like you're cut out 365 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,840 Speaker 1: of my life. And people don't want to respect your boundaries, 366 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:57,479 Speaker 1: and there's such this like harsh judgmental view no one 367 00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,480 Speaker 1: does until you got them. And the thing is, the 368 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,760 Speaker 1: people in our lives that are trying to climb over 369 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:05,320 Speaker 1: them don't understand what they are either, which is why 370 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,840 Speaker 1: they don't even apply them to their own selves. So 371 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,600 Speaker 1: I think on the journey of finding boundaries of coming 372 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:16,359 Speaker 1: into self awareness, as often as it's possible, we always 373 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:20,119 Speaker 1: have to try to steep it in overall compassion and 374 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,359 Speaker 1: non judgment. A lot of us are doing things for 375 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,240 Speaker 1: the very first time. A lot of us have just 376 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,000 Speaker 1: heard about boundaries for the very first time. And very 377 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:32,280 Speaker 1: often if you don't have boundaries already, it's because different 378 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:34,920 Speaker 1: things happened in your life that led you to kind 379 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:38,320 Speaker 1: of disregard yourself in certain ways, or not think that 380 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,600 Speaker 1: you have the right or the worth to choose yourself first. 381 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:43,879 Speaker 1: So it's all the process and we just have to 382 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:47,119 Speaker 1: go slow and gently. So question, well, are you we 383 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,359 Speaker 1: born with boundaries and then they get toured down at 384 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,240 Speaker 1: some point? Are we never have them? And we have 385 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:56,080 Speaker 1: to learn how to build them. So there's a multitude 386 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,440 Speaker 1: of reasons, but I think one of the one of 387 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:00,600 Speaker 1: the reasons that I'm most often and work with and 388 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:06,040 Speaker 1: see in our childhood certain things have to happen for 389 00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:08,680 Speaker 1: us to become the best version of our adult self. 390 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,200 Speaker 1: There has to be certain kinds of role modeling in 391 00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:15,520 Speaker 1: place of behavior. There has to be role modeling of care, 392 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:20,919 Speaker 1: of understanding, of listening of language. If we have experienced 393 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:24,919 Speaker 1: certain emotional neglect, which millions of people do, even if 394 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,560 Speaker 1: your parents don't want to or don't know that they're 395 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:30,680 Speaker 1: doing it. If you're experiencing any kind of emotional neglect 396 00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:35,520 Speaker 1: or traumas big to your little t it affects the 397 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:39,200 Speaker 1: way your core identity is established. Your core identity is 398 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:42,080 Speaker 1: established in childhood. That is the piece of you that 399 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,399 Speaker 1: isn't the roles you play, but it's the piece of you. 400 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,480 Speaker 1: That thinks that you're worthy, that thinks that you have rights, 401 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:52,920 Speaker 1: that knows that your emotional life matters. If you're not 402 00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:56,320 Speaker 1: given that opportunity to grow that in a safe way, 403 00:21:57,680 --> 00:21:59,720 Speaker 1: you don't know how to set boundaries because you don't 404 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:05,040 Speaker 1: understand yourself your own needs, You don't understand what you require, 405 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,840 Speaker 1: and sometimes things bad happen to you or people burn you, 406 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,439 Speaker 1: and then you're like, okay, moving forward. This is how 407 00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:13,920 Speaker 1: I have to move absolutely, And I think when that 408 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:17,280 Speaker 1: stuff happens in our adult life, even still, it usually 409 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:20,240 Speaker 1: comes down to an original wound that happened in childhood. 410 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:22,560 Speaker 1: There was something in the dynamic with the child and 411 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:26,080 Speaker 1: the caregiver or whatever adults may have been present, where 412 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:30,600 Speaker 1: their needs were not looked at, and you maybe had 413 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,440 Speaker 1: to please the person that was caretaking for you to 414 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,240 Speaker 1: get what you needed. And so then in your adult 415 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,840 Speaker 1: life you find yourself repeating those patterns in so many 416 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,639 Speaker 1: different ways, and friendships and relationships and the jobs that 417 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,679 Speaker 1: you choose, and the way that your dynamic with your 418 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:48,119 Speaker 1: boss and your co workers is like it permeates everything 419 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,240 Speaker 1: about your life. There is nothing more important than childhood. 420 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,159 Speaker 1: Now when you talk about you know, everybody has their 421 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:57,479 Speaker 1: own journey, right, yeah, and you have family, your friends, 422 00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:00,600 Speaker 1: your man, your child. So how do you base your 423 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,760 Speaker 1: circle now? Because there's going to be some people that 424 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:05,159 Speaker 1: are into the things that you're into, some people that 425 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:08,760 Speaker 1: don't care about it, some people that don't believe. So 426 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,720 Speaker 1: how do you keep your circle? Do you keep those 427 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:12,399 Speaker 1: people that are not in your circle? Or do you 428 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:14,479 Speaker 1: set up those boundaries where it's like, all right, well, 429 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:16,200 Speaker 1: if you're not believe, I'll wait for you to be 430 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,080 Speaker 1: a believer to be in this circle. So so how 431 00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:22,480 Speaker 1: do you go about your your normal day? Oh? I 432 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:24,960 Speaker 1: don't think people have to be believers. Like, I'm not 433 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:28,679 Speaker 1: looking to convince anyone, And I'm okay if we are 434 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,960 Speaker 1: not aligned in our beliefs, but I would be a 435 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,920 Speaker 1: friend with somebody, like you know, Charlemagne goes outside like 436 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:40,159 Speaker 1: the hugwood. Right, if he wasn't a treaty sir, sorry, okay, 437 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:43,480 Speaker 1: if he wasn't a wood hugger, right, could you explain 438 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:47,000 Speaker 1: We can explain that if he wasn't a wood hugger, 439 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,520 Speaker 1: he loves, But if he wasn't that way, could you 440 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,120 Speaker 1: be around him as much? If he wasn't as grounded 441 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,400 Speaker 1: as he was, or if he wasn't doing the work 442 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:58,119 Speaker 1: on himself, could you still have him in your circle 443 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,120 Speaker 1: like that? Or you know, the structure of our relationship 444 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:04,119 Speaker 1: would have to change. I wouldn't be in judgment about him, 445 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:08,200 Speaker 1: like I wouldn't judge a person because we're living different lives. However, 446 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:16,720 Speaker 1: I have to prioritize what is actually nurturing my own 447 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:20,800 Speaker 1: life and my own growth. And so I think first 448 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,800 Speaker 1: I would say this, all of us hold on to 449 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,560 Speaker 1: too many people for too long. That is what I feel. 450 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,120 Speaker 1: A lot of it comes because of social media. It's 451 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,479 Speaker 1: this natural Oh we kind of had a click, I'm 452 00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:32,760 Speaker 1: gonna follow you, I'm gonna follow you back. Now we're 453 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,640 Speaker 1: plugged into knowing the nuance of every person we've ever 454 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:39,680 Speaker 1: met life forever. There's not really the room for that, 455 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,520 Speaker 1: you know. So I think the way that I look 456 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:45,800 Speaker 1: at my life is I'm very I'm a very, very 457 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:50,600 Speaker 1: open person. I love connecting with people. But when I 458 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:52,680 Speaker 1: look at how my life is actually built, it's not 459 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:56,239 Speaker 1: sustainable for me to have active relationship with a lot 460 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:58,960 Speaker 1: of people. And so over the last two years, like 461 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,639 Speaker 1: I've masked of lee shed in my life, and some 462 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:05,560 Speaker 1: of them were highly intentional, like friendships that were misaligned 463 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:09,200 Speaker 1: because of character, because of integrity, because of choices, and 464 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,160 Speaker 1: there had to be hard conversations. Some of those hard 465 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:15,919 Speaker 1: conversations turned into re establishing the friendship, like we were 466 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:19,119 Speaker 1: able to get to new ground and rebuild. Some of 467 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:23,560 Speaker 1: them were more of an awkward hearts goodbye, and many 468 00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:27,199 Speaker 1: others were really just let nature do his think. How 469 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:30,960 Speaker 1: would those conversations Like, so, let's say, is somebody in 470 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,880 Speaker 1: new click you need to have a conversation. Yeah, because 471 00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:35,600 Speaker 1: they're not following the same journey that you're following. You 472 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:37,639 Speaker 1: just don't want them around you, honestly, So how do 473 00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:43,960 Speaker 1: you have those conversations? So if you're me, you just 474 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:46,000 Speaker 1: have them. I don't have a lot of fear around 475 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:48,840 Speaker 1: any of that because I think I love myself, I 476 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,800 Speaker 1: love my life, I feel aligned, and so I'm not 477 00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:56,800 Speaker 1: taking other people's misdirected emotions personally. So if someone is 478 00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,359 Speaker 1: upset in our conversation, that's not going to rock me. 479 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:00,760 Speaker 1: And I'm also not going to take on a lot 480 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:04,359 Speaker 1: of guilt about it. I trust that my choices are 481 00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:09,560 Speaker 1: made in integrity. But you know, you have to be direct, 482 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:12,439 Speaker 1: but you also have to know yourself to be direct 483 00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:15,480 Speaker 1: in a way that it's actually healing and beneficial, not 484 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:18,080 Speaker 1: you know when people use that term brutally honest or 485 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:22,080 Speaker 1: I keep it real. Real is relative. You're real is 486 00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:25,000 Speaker 1: based on your life experience, and it could be completely 487 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:28,800 Speaker 1: fraudulent to someone else based on how they recognize real. 488 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,800 Speaker 1: So I think there has to be a certain amount 489 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,760 Speaker 1: of self awareness in yourself before you have that conversation, 490 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:38,560 Speaker 1: and it's important to come into a space, if possible, 491 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:42,040 Speaker 1: of more neutrality so that you can walk away from 492 00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:46,400 Speaker 1: something with lasting peace. Now, as a friend, right, people listening, 493 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:48,760 Speaker 1: So as a friend, let's say Nick, the camera guy, 494 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:51,840 Speaker 1: let's say do you guide him first of what you 495 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:53,960 Speaker 1: think of being a friend, Like, Hey, Nick, I think 496 00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:56,280 Speaker 1: that you're doing this too much. I think you need 497 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:57,680 Speaker 1: to fall back and look at this. Always one of 498 00:26:57,720 --> 00:26:59,280 Speaker 1: those things like, bro, you're not going in my direction. 499 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:02,840 Speaker 1: I gotta go. Yeah, because it can be too preach questions. 500 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,840 Speaker 1: But you know, as somebody who's done to work, yeah, 501 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:09,800 Speaker 1: who's read numerous books, who's you know, done what you're 502 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:11,879 Speaker 1: supposed to do, how do you do that? As you know, 503 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:16,800 Speaker 1: with a friend. So what I did for myself was 504 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:22,240 Speaker 1: when I started noticing that some friendships felt misaligned or 505 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,159 Speaker 1: non reciprocal in the ways that were important to me. 506 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:27,960 Speaker 1: I just made a mental note, and I told myself 507 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:30,359 Speaker 1: that I was going to slowly observe it. So you 508 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:31,960 Speaker 1: could do that in a way of saying, I'm going 509 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,359 Speaker 1: to give somebody three strikes or three chances. But I 510 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:38,480 Speaker 1: just started slowly observing and still interacting with the person. 511 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,359 Speaker 1: How the flow of our relationship was, how often did 512 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,320 Speaker 1: we talk? Were they able to show up for me? 513 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,480 Speaker 1: Was I showing up for them? Did it feel reciprocal? 514 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,200 Speaker 1: And I just watched it over the course of a year. 515 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:53,040 Speaker 1: Like I knew I was called to kind of radically 516 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:56,440 Speaker 1: shift and make space in my life, and I gave 517 00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,639 Speaker 1: myself really a year to do it. So I started 518 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:02,760 Speaker 1: just observing people from a are, noticing things, keeping mental notes, 519 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:06,520 Speaker 1: and then I really prayed about it. I set prayers, 520 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:09,399 Speaker 1: I set intentions around it lead me to the aligned 521 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:14,040 Speaker 1: friendships and partnerships allow me to remove with ease any 522 00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:18,359 Speaker 1: friendships or connections that are not serving or misaligned. You know, 523 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,000 Speaker 1: I think it is important to bring God into all 524 00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:23,600 Speaker 1: of it. I think it's important to bring just a 525 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:27,360 Speaker 1: higher energy into all of it. Once that was done, 526 00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:30,160 Speaker 1: and I started really saying, okay, yeah, that's not a fit. 527 00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:33,399 Speaker 1: I just called people up directly and I was like, Hey, 528 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,080 Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about our friendship. I 529 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:37,800 Speaker 1: want to talk about our relationship. And I said, I 530 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:39,760 Speaker 1: just want to let you know. I don't have a 531 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,000 Speaker 1: lot of judgment around you or this, but I need 532 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:45,360 Speaker 1: to share how I'm feeling. I usually had supporting examples 533 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,520 Speaker 1: of you know, this experience happened, this is the way 534 00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:51,160 Speaker 1: it made me feel. What are your thoughts on that. 535 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:53,960 Speaker 1: We went back and forth a little bit about it. 536 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:58,720 Speaker 1: Some people in my life said, thank you so much 537 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:03,280 Speaker 1: for telling me this. I felt something changing between us. 538 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,320 Speaker 1: I never saw that. I didn't even notice I was 539 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:09,880 Speaker 1: doing that, but you're absolutely right. I'm sorry. We were 540 00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:13,719 Speaker 1: able to rebuild some peoples just like, okay, all right, 541 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,760 Speaker 1: what all right? For the show? You know? Or f 542 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:21,480 Speaker 1: you like? Okay? So I think walking into setting boundaries, 543 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:24,000 Speaker 1: walking into shedding people, you have to also walk in 544 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:27,280 Speaker 1: with a confidence of it's okay if I lose them, 545 00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:30,120 Speaker 1: it's okay if they don't understand, and it's also okay 546 00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:32,920 Speaker 1: if they blame me. None of that has anything to 547 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,240 Speaker 1: do with me. You know, it's like the word ease 548 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:39,320 Speaker 1: is a very powerful word because you know, you know, 549 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:41,440 Speaker 1: you know, I think God for you daily. I tell 550 00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:43,720 Speaker 1: you this all the time. But it's just like our relationship, 551 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,560 Speaker 1: It's never been a time we didn't share information. It's 552 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,920 Speaker 1: never it's never been a time we didn't have, you know, 553 00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:51,480 Speaker 1: deep conversation. It's just like things evolved and went from 554 00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,800 Speaker 1: Yo Charlomagne listening to this Nipsey hustle bullets ain't got 555 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,960 Speaker 1: no name, or arguing about Kendrick Lamar, you know what 556 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,640 Speaker 1: I mean to read deep seven spirituality Like it just 557 00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:05,240 Speaker 1: seemed effortless the whole time. Yeah, And is that what 558 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:08,040 Speaker 1: you should look for? I guess absolutely like and I 559 00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:10,680 Speaker 1: love us as a case study of that because we've 560 00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,320 Speaker 1: been friends for now like fifteen years, and we've seen 561 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:18,640 Speaker 1: each other at so many junctures of the journey. But 562 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,640 Speaker 1: what we always had was non judgment. We always had 563 00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:25,080 Speaker 1: an openness, We always had an ability to talk things through. 564 00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:28,440 Speaker 1: And I think you don't want to Jess hold on 565 00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:31,040 Speaker 1: to people because of a length of time or this 566 00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:34,400 Speaker 1: like false sense of loyalty which no one actually has 567 00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:38,000 Speaker 1: a real definition for that word, Like it changes with everyone. 568 00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:40,640 Speaker 1: If you look up the definition of loyalty, it just 569 00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:46,720 Speaker 1: means an affinity for I'm fond of I Like, you 570 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,160 Speaker 1: have to really look at, like, what is kind of 571 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,800 Speaker 1: doing life with a friend? Can there be more grace 572 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:54,840 Speaker 1: for that? Can there be more ease? Can we go 573 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,280 Speaker 1: six months without talking because we're both in a different 574 00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:59,960 Speaker 1: place and then come back together. I think we should 575 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,800 Speaker 1: would be allowed to um. But yeah, being able to 576 00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:08,280 Speaker 1: kind of just evolve as equals at every step is 577 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:10,880 Speaker 1: what I look for in friendship. And I'm also okay 578 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:13,240 Speaker 1: with things not having to be that deep. There's some 579 00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:15,680 Speaker 1: people in my life. I trust them to be themselves 580 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:17,640 Speaker 1: and I show up as myself and I give them 581 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:22,760 Speaker 1: what they can handle of me. Now, how does people's 582 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,160 Speaker 1: mental health affect their physical health? You don't pray for 583 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,160 Speaker 1: you don't pray about me every day? You don't. I 584 00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,920 Speaker 1: was like, what is envy thinking over? I do think 585 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:32,000 Speaker 1: God for you? You think God for this whole situation, 586 00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:35,000 Speaker 1: this situation which changes our life. We're openness, we're deep. 587 00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:38,320 Speaker 1: I just want to know why you never told me 588 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:45,960 Speaker 1: that I hear talking. You don't say it envy talking. 589 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:48,880 Speaker 1: Let me see what the blood could I hear a 590 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:53,400 Speaker 1: wound talking. I was asking about mental health affecting people's 591 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:55,560 Speaker 1: physical health too, because I feel like that's a theme 592 00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:58,160 Speaker 1: as well when it comes to athletes, but the everyday person, 593 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,560 Speaker 1: Oh my god, all of us, and and now, thank god, 594 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:04,720 Speaker 1: there's so much science and studies coming out to back 595 00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:08,280 Speaker 1: it up. There's phenomenal books on this. The Body Keeps 596 00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:11,080 Speaker 1: the Score is an amazing book, Resumementica and my grandmother's 597 00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:16,960 Speaker 1: name Trauma is stored absolutely in the body. Our experiences 598 00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:19,000 Speaker 1: don't leave us. And that's why, you know, when we 599 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:22,000 Speaker 1: were talking about kind of that approach to really heal, 600 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:24,960 Speaker 1: you have to bring your body into it. So you 601 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:28,520 Speaker 1: have to have different practices and processes that allow you 602 00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:31,040 Speaker 1: to love on your body, to kind of push out 603 00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:34,400 Speaker 1: of your cells, out of your skin, your experiences. So 604 00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:36,440 Speaker 1: I think even you know, if someone's in like a 605 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:39,680 Speaker 1: cognitive therapy and maybe not ready for some of the 606 00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:42,520 Speaker 1: other stuff, I always say, book a book a massage 607 00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:46,120 Speaker 1: appointment for after your therapy appointment, and then think about 608 00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:48,960 Speaker 1: the awarenesses that came in as you're getting the massage, 609 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:51,280 Speaker 1: Think about things you want to release as you're getting 610 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:54,440 Speaker 1: the massage, or you could do self massage, self stretching 611 00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:57,120 Speaker 1: at home because the trauma absolutely stays with us. And 612 00:32:57,200 --> 00:33:01,080 Speaker 1: I think we've seen in our communities so many diseases, 613 00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,280 Speaker 1: you know, so many different things manifesting that it's just like, 614 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:07,120 Speaker 1: how is this possible. It can't just be diet, it 615 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,760 Speaker 1: can't just be this Like, there is a there is 616 00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:13,320 Speaker 1: a grief present that is bringing on this sickness in 617 00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:16,800 Speaker 1: people's bodies. And I think it's just that's why we 618 00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,280 Speaker 1: have to do that kind of holistic approach. That was 619 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:22,080 Speaker 1: a massive part of my journey. I was in therapy 620 00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,760 Speaker 1: for many, many years, and I understood a lot, but 621 00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:29,040 Speaker 1: not much was actively changing. And then when I came 622 00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:31,400 Speaker 1: in and I started seeing a somatic therapist, I started 623 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:35,240 Speaker 1: doing somatic processes that really helped me to understand my 624 00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:39,560 Speaker 1: body's reactions to every moment. That's when I became really empowered. 625 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,440 Speaker 1: You could feel your triggers in real time, but then 626 00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:45,680 Speaker 1: also soothe them in real time because on this healing journey, 627 00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:50,440 Speaker 1: no matter what you do, we're still on Earth, We're 628 00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:53,920 Speaker 1: still in this crazy environment. Very often the people near 629 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,000 Speaker 1: us are not changing in the ways that we are, 630 00:33:56,120 --> 00:34:02,440 Speaker 1: so it's just so, so so incredibly important that we 631 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:05,680 Speaker 1: honor ourselves, that we honor our bodies, that we come 632 00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:09,240 Speaker 1: into a space of being able to, you know, ideally 633 00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:13,279 Speaker 1: get through our wounds, our triggers faster. We're not just 634 00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:16,879 Speaker 1: looking for happiness. I'm I'm I'm in my wholeness, I'm 635 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:21,279 Speaker 1: in my sovereignty. I am deep in mastery on many 636 00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:24,440 Speaker 1: different parts and also learning in other pieces of myself. 637 00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:30,840 Speaker 1: But you know, I look at um, happiness for me 638 00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,239 Speaker 1: isn't the goal. The goal for me is the fact 639 00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:35,799 Speaker 1: that something that used to hurt me, that I may 640 00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,799 Speaker 1: ruminate over for a week, for a month, that may 641 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:42,200 Speaker 1: make me feel sick to my stomach about myself. Now 642 00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:45,680 Speaker 1: if I think about it, it's two seconds I felt it. 643 00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:48,720 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, because that did happen to me. I accept 644 00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:51,200 Speaker 1: that and I release it and I move into the 645 00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:54,200 Speaker 1: next moment. So I think that's that's really the goal 646 00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:57,919 Speaker 1: for healing. Let's let's stay if fort's real quick, because 647 00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,360 Speaker 1: I want to know why a self care of vital 648 00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:02,520 Speaker 1: for black and brown bodies. But I also want you 649 00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:04,719 Speaker 1: to talk about the energy healing you do. Like I mean, 650 00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:07,279 Speaker 1: you know, people saw a glimpse of you doing it 651 00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,320 Speaker 1: the Draymond on the set on The Sessions talk about that. 652 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,239 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that was my favorite part of doing 653 00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:15,640 Speaker 1: the show. We were in like the Redwoods. We were 654 00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:17,360 Speaker 1: in this forest in the bay and I got to 655 00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:25,440 Speaker 1: do reiki energy work on him. Energy work is incredible. 656 00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:28,359 Speaker 1: It has changed my life. I think that I think 657 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:32,160 Speaker 1: that our communities should be empowered with becoming facilitators of reiki, 658 00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:34,840 Speaker 1: of chakra healing, of energy work, and I think that 659 00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:36,759 Speaker 1: we should be using it on ourselves and in our 660 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:40,920 Speaker 1: families daily. The energy work works with the energetic bodies, 661 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:46,760 Speaker 1: So there is this field around you that is unseen 662 00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:49,400 Speaker 1: to the naked eye, but that is kind of the 663 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:53,120 Speaker 1: energy that protects you that also magnetizes things to you 664 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:58,480 Speaker 1: that can also be injured by different emotional wounds and 665 00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:04,279 Speaker 1: energy feeling is an ancient sacred practice, specifically raiky, where 666 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,400 Speaker 1: you use your energy and you work with the person's 667 00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:10,920 Speaker 1: energy field to bring healing into their environment. So it 668 00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:15,880 Speaker 1: is believed that this helps to heal and alleviate physical wounds, 669 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,600 Speaker 1: mental wounds, emotional wounds, and it's also something that just 670 00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:24,400 Speaker 1: really allows you to feel enlivened, that gives you access 671 00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:28,760 Speaker 1: to the feeling of present moment of groundedness, of peace 672 00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:32,440 Speaker 1: inside of your body. And I've done energy work on 673 00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:37,040 Speaker 1: YouTube's it feels like a spiritual massage, like you could 674 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:43,200 Speaker 1: literally feel things being removed from you as the energy, 675 00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:45,120 Speaker 1: the energy work is being done. Like you get up 676 00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:48,960 Speaker 1: feeling light like damn, what was on me? You know? Yeah, 677 00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:51,399 Speaker 1: that's how That's how I felt. I was going to ask, 678 00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:56,359 Speaker 1: as mama bear right, if a four year old, how 679 00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:58,520 Speaker 1: do you raise him? Because you know, you've been in 680 00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:02,160 Speaker 1: the world. You know what good, what's bad, what's negative, 681 00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:05,239 Speaker 1: what's positive? So you know, how do you raise him? 682 00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:06,880 Speaker 1: Do you put him in school? Do you put him 683 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:08,800 Speaker 1: around of the kids whose maybe parents are not on 684 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,680 Speaker 1: the align with what do you what you do? Maybe 685 00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:14,680 Speaker 1: not on the same journey. You know, even though you 686 00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:16,919 Speaker 1: might not give him social media, you know, his friend 687 00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:18,759 Speaker 1: might have it, or his friend might get things from 688 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,600 Speaker 1: the house. So how do you raise your four year old? Oh? 689 00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:28,000 Speaker 1: My god, that question is so hard. It's hard. God, 690 00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:31,279 Speaker 1: not every day, all day, it's hard. You know. I 691 00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:38,279 Speaker 1: think about my child every second, so many things envy, 692 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:42,719 Speaker 1: you know. I feel like we're all kind of on 693 00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:47,239 Speaker 1: this journey of doing a lot of linear healing we're 694 00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:50,240 Speaker 1: bringing forward for our kids, maybe things that never existed 695 00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:54,520 Speaker 1: in our family systems ever, because you think about the 696 00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:58,160 Speaker 1: impact of slavery, you think about the impact of all 697 00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:01,440 Speaker 1: of the structural and societal oppressure and that has existed since, 698 00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:05,480 Speaker 1: and in black and brown communities, there has always been 699 00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:08,160 Speaker 1: a wounding in the parent child relationship to some degree. 700 00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,879 Speaker 1: You have your outliers, you have those you know, one 701 00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:15,959 Speaker 1: in a neighborhood, healthy family sometimes and then everyone else. 702 00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:20,680 Speaker 1: It's like you just see this lack of emotional regulation, 703 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:24,560 Speaker 1: lack of ability to be your authentic self so much 704 00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:28,440 Speaker 1: fear so for me knowing that I can't control the world, 705 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:31,320 Speaker 1: and also feeling the daily grief of that when you 706 00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:34,520 Speaker 1: have a child. The thing that I really look to 707 00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:37,080 Speaker 1: do with my son ut quest Mandela, I love you 708 00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:42,120 Speaker 1: so much, is teach him how to be aware of himself. 709 00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:44,480 Speaker 1: I am not going to be able to control everything 710 00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:46,600 Speaker 1: that happens in his life, and I don't want to 711 00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:51,360 Speaker 1: hold him in an environment where he's wearing rose colored glasses. 712 00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:55,000 Speaker 1: So I just look to really build his emotional intelligence 713 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:57,000 Speaker 1: at a very young age. And so a lot of 714 00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,920 Speaker 1: that is using affirmative words. Since he was an infant, 715 00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:02,919 Speaker 1: I would sit over him every night and I would say, 716 00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:06,840 Speaker 1: you know, I love myself. I am loving and kind, 717 00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:10,120 Speaker 1: I am strong and resilient, I am creative and curious. 718 00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:13,920 Speaker 1: I am kind. And then now he says them for 719 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:17,640 Speaker 1: himself every day. He says, I love myself, I'm cherished, 720 00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:20,840 Speaker 1: I'm valued by my mom, I'm you know. I'm teaching 721 00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:23,440 Speaker 1: him the words that will help build his core identity 722 00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:27,359 Speaker 1: to be in a foundation of deep worth. And then 723 00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:30,840 Speaker 1: I think, you know, what's important is teaching them how 724 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:34,560 Speaker 1: to identify their emotions navigating in the world. That's a 725 00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:37,839 Speaker 1: skill so many of us didn't get. And so with him, 726 00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:40,359 Speaker 1: when he's upset, when he's happy, I try to give 727 00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:43,240 Speaker 1: him language for the things that he's feeling, even before 728 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:47,120 Speaker 1: he can use the words. And when he's upset, you know, 729 00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:48,719 Speaker 1: I ask him, do you need a hug right now? 730 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,880 Speaker 1: You know, what are you feeling? Someone who's like I'm frustrated, 731 00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:55,320 Speaker 1: I'm feeling frustrated, I'm feeling upset, I'm feeling sad, and 732 00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:57,920 Speaker 1: just greeting all of that and not taking it personally 733 00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:02,080 Speaker 1: and not letting it change the way I feel about 734 00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:06,239 Speaker 1: myself or assume that anything is wrong. I think that 735 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:08,359 Speaker 1: is one of the things that comes up with even 736 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:11,359 Speaker 1: the best parents who just want to shower their kids 737 00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:15,920 Speaker 1: with love. Depending on what our life experiences, parenting is 738 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:18,160 Speaker 1: one of the most triggering things you could ever do 739 00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:21,239 Speaker 1: in your life. It shows you where all your own 740 00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:24,600 Speaker 1: wounds lie. It shows you where maybe things happen in 741 00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,879 Speaker 1: your childhood that were different and things that you maybe 742 00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:31,440 Speaker 1: needed that you're now giving your kid. So many of 743 00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:34,400 Speaker 1: us are loving our children in a way that we 744 00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:38,800 Speaker 1: were never loved. So I think just giving him the 745 00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:41,200 Speaker 1: space to be a kid as well is really important 746 00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:43,320 Speaker 1: to me. Everyone that meets my child is always like, 747 00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:46,840 Speaker 1: he's the sweetest guy ever, or he's so happy, or 748 00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:49,320 Speaker 1: he's so this. And because I'm not trying to shift 749 00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:51,400 Speaker 1: his behavior, I'm not telling him he needs to grow 750 00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:55,080 Speaker 1: up faster. He's for He doesn't need to be super sophisticated. 751 00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,399 Speaker 1: He doesn't need to have to know how to shake 752 00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,640 Speaker 1: hands perfectly, or how to do this or that, or 753 00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,160 Speaker 1: how to appear like a little adult. He is his 754 00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:04,920 Speaker 1: own being and I let him be himself. Do you 755 00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,480 Speaker 1: let him play sports? His dad play NFL football. You 756 00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:09,880 Speaker 1: talk to a lot of people in the sports world 757 00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:12,239 Speaker 1: do you allow him to play that because it feels like, 758 00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:16,480 Speaker 1: even in sports, they take this one emotion and they 759 00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:19,359 Speaker 1: make you use that motion against their opponents. Right, it's 760 00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:22,600 Speaker 1: usually anger, Right, it's usually aggressive. Right. You've never seen 761 00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:24,200 Speaker 1: a football play that's nice, like, hey, how are you 762 00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:26,040 Speaker 1: doing today? I'm going to tackle you in the second. 763 00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:28,240 Speaker 1: You don't see that? You know? So do you allow 764 00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:31,480 Speaker 1: him to play football in sports? But that's not something 765 00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:35,040 Speaker 1: you thought of already? No, he will not play football. Yeah, 766 00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:40,000 Speaker 1: and that's something that we really talked a lot about 767 00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:42,759 Speaker 1: even during my pregnancy. Um, and that is a that 768 00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:45,680 Speaker 1: is a wish and a desire from his father as well. Um. No, 769 00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:50,440 Speaker 1: it's it's because you know that he's four, but he 770 00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:55,839 Speaker 1: size of an eight year old. Let the record, before 771 00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:58,040 Speaker 1: he physically ever got here, I said that he was 772 00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,640 Speaker 1: going to be seven feet tall three hundred fifty. Well 773 00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:06,840 Speaker 1: what's the reason that. Yeah? Um, you know, science is 774 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:11,839 Speaker 1: showing how much football can affect your brain and I'm 775 00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:14,319 Speaker 1: not willing to take that risk with my child. Um. 776 00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:16,200 Speaker 1: And I think that some of the science that is 777 00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:20,080 Speaker 1: coming out is also showing that kids as early as 778 00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:24,560 Speaker 1: playing even flag football are getting concussions, and that children 779 00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:28,600 Speaker 1: who are um even playing in high school are showing 780 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:32,360 Speaker 1: effects of CTE. And I'm just I'm completely unwilling to 781 00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:36,200 Speaker 1: risk my child's brain. Um, but I think you know, 782 00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:38,520 Speaker 1: I'm open to other kind of sports, like I always say, laugh, 783 00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:43,360 Speaker 1: I'm like, he can golf. We got volleyball, badminton, baseball, 784 00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:49,120 Speaker 1: you know basketball. Yeah, so no boxing, no boxing, no football, 785 00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:52,279 Speaker 1: no tennis. Tennis is good. He can he can make 786 00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:55,160 Speaker 1: his own choices when he's an adult man. Track Yeah, 787 00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,680 Speaker 1: he can run track. You know, he can meditate, we 788 00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:03,000 Speaker 1: could do yoga. Lacrosse is on the come up. Lacresse 789 00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:05,520 Speaker 1: is tough. There's some polo. Now, let's talk about how 790 00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:09,480 Speaker 1: a person can build a daily self care like spiritual 791 00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:12,840 Speaker 1: practice routine just start healing and changing their life. How 792 00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:15,520 Speaker 1: does a person do that? Oh, this is the most 793 00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:18,359 Speaker 1: important thing. And I know, I know you have yours. Now, 794 00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:20,759 Speaker 1: do you guys feel like Angela Vie? You guys are 795 00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:24,400 Speaker 1: have like your morning routines and tradition for kind of 796 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:26,359 Speaker 1: not for me in the morning so much. It would 797 00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:28,520 Speaker 1: be more before I go to bed, before bed, that's 798 00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:31,120 Speaker 1: perfect too. I I do some in the morning. I've 799 00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:34,879 Speaker 1: always renting late I mean, y'all wake up very early, 800 00:43:35,719 --> 00:43:38,080 Speaker 1: but my practice at night is where I get like, 801 00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:44,240 Speaker 1: really really deeply connected. So everyone talks right now about changing, 802 00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:50,480 Speaker 1: about growing, transforming healing, you have to make it sustainable 803 00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:54,120 Speaker 1: so that it's actually becomes your lived experience and not 804 00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:57,280 Speaker 1: just something you speak but are not acting or living. 805 00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:00,640 Speaker 1: That is what your daily practice does. And I think 806 00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,640 Speaker 1: you know sometimes in the mainstream you hear the word 807 00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:05,759 Speaker 1: self care and it's like, yeah, girl, go shop in, 808 00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:08,239 Speaker 1: have some self care. Oh, go take a bag, get 809 00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:13,200 Speaker 1: a massage. Yes, And your self care is it's really 810 00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:17,480 Speaker 1: the practice that supports your life, that supports your destiny, 811 00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:20,360 Speaker 1: that supports your healing. And so what you want to 812 00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:23,040 Speaker 1: do when you're building a practice, first, identify how much 813 00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:25,319 Speaker 1: time you have. I know a lot of people work 814 00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:28,040 Speaker 1: really hard and have a lot of responsibilities. So even 815 00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:32,120 Speaker 1: if only five minutes is possible, please please try to 816 00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:34,440 Speaker 1: gift yourself with this. But if you can be more 817 00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:37,399 Speaker 1: expansive and spend thirty minutes, spend an hour, that could 818 00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:39,759 Speaker 1: be really powerful. What you want to do is you 819 00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:43,120 Speaker 1: want to build your daily practice around the four pillars 820 00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:46,880 Speaker 1: of wholeness, which is mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual you 821 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:49,720 Speaker 1: want to find something to do every day that falls 822 00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:52,759 Speaker 1: in one of those categories, and so that could look 823 00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:55,640 Speaker 1: like For mental, that could look like journaling, just getting 824 00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:58,480 Speaker 1: your thoughts out. It doesn't have to be dear diary style. 825 00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,359 Speaker 1: It could be a couple of bullet points. It could 826 00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:02,680 Speaker 1: be wow, I noticed that I keep thinking about this 827 00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:05,520 Speaker 1: one thought every day. It helps to build or re 828 00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:09,480 Speaker 1: establish your intuition, which is also something that a lot 829 00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:13,160 Speaker 1: of people lack because they so often go against what 830 00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:16,200 Speaker 1: their gut tells them to do. Our intuition is our 831 00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:20,480 Speaker 1: souls GPS, it's our guiding system as the human experience. 832 00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:24,360 Speaker 1: So it's really important that we ignite that ability in ourselves. 833 00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:27,960 Speaker 1: That's the mental category. Looking at the emotional category, that 834 00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:33,440 Speaker 1: could be meditation every day, you know, really sitting and 835 00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:37,840 Speaker 1: getting still, getting quiet and opening up your internal world, 836 00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:41,160 Speaker 1: really coming into a space of knowing how to be 837 00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:44,439 Speaker 1: with yourself, how to meet yourself, how to remember all 838 00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:47,040 Speaker 1: of who you truly are, outside of the roles that 839 00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:49,440 Speaker 1: we play in life, outside of the things that have 840 00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:52,279 Speaker 1: happened to us. You look at physical For some that's 841 00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:54,600 Speaker 1: a workout, Like I know, Y'll be working out. Everybody 842 00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:56,879 Speaker 1: be working out every day, but that could also look 843 00:45:56,960 --> 00:45:59,839 Speaker 1: like a daily stretch practice, that could look like yo, 844 00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:03,320 Speaker 1: that could look like remembering to massage your own shoulders 845 00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:05,520 Speaker 1: at the end of the night because you're aching and 846 00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:08,480 Speaker 1: you deserve your own touch. And then if we look 847 00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:13,600 Speaker 1: at the spiritual category, that could really look like affirmations 848 00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:16,560 Speaker 1: every day speaking life over yourself. And let's take it 849 00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:18,480 Speaker 1: a step deeper than you know, some of the ones 850 00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:20,640 Speaker 1: of like I am abundance or I am love or 851 00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:25,760 Speaker 1: I am strong really call forward what you want to embody. 852 00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:28,520 Speaker 1: You know, one of my first affirmations and my healing 853 00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:33,959 Speaker 1: journey was I'm a precious child of God, leading, leading 854 00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:37,120 Speaker 1: from my heart's center. Yeah, I think that was a 855 00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:39,000 Speaker 1: piece of it. I'm a precious child of God, leading 856 00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:43,200 Speaker 1: from my soul's center, working in mastery of my being. 857 00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:48,080 Speaker 1: Saying that over myself every day changed me. So doing 858 00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:51,680 Speaker 1: something every day that supports who you are and who 859 00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:55,719 Speaker 1: you're becoming and who you have become is essential. It 860 00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:59,359 Speaker 1: also teaches you emotional regulation, which means that every day 861 00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:01,880 Speaker 1: you can go into the world as your true self 862 00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:04,600 Speaker 1: and not as the version of you that's constantly reacting 863 00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:07,120 Speaker 1: to things. So I got to update my mantra as 864 00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:11,880 Speaker 1: the mantra gotten me. Oh yeah, yeah, time to update, okay. 865 00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:14,320 Speaker 1: And I always say, when it comes to when it 866 00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:21,279 Speaker 1: comes to our affirmations, our mantras keep evolving them. Once 867 00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:23,759 Speaker 1: you feel that something clicked into place and you have 868 00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:28,560 Speaker 1: really been wearing that, let's hit something else, you know, 869 00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:31,120 Speaker 1: maybe start to notice what are some other little crevices 870 00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:33,200 Speaker 1: of my life that I want to refine. If I 871 00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:36,600 Speaker 1: feel that I've healed or really done a lot of 872 00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:39,319 Speaker 1: work around my trauma, maybe now I want to start 873 00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:42,360 Speaker 1: to investigate. What's my relationship to money, what's my relationship 874 00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:46,160 Speaker 1: to prosperity. Let me heal that dynamic. What's my relationship 875 00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:49,040 Speaker 1: to the masculine to the feminine in my life? Let 876 00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:53,239 Speaker 1: me look at healing or evolving that experience. But there's 877 00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:57,840 Speaker 1: always more, There's always deeper. Why is it being on 878 00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:03,879 Speaker 1: a healing journey so and so exhausting Because our lived 879 00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:09,520 Speaker 1: experiences are you know, we are to be alive and 880 00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:14,040 Speaker 1: to be human is to be deeply challenged every day. 881 00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:16,520 Speaker 1: You know. For a lot of people that meant having 882 00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:22,280 Speaker 1: really challenging experiences as young people, as adults. For others, 883 00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:24,880 Speaker 1: it's just turning the news on every day and seeing 884 00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:28,160 Speaker 1: how painful it is to be a witness to so 885 00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:32,400 Speaker 1: much tragedy, especially so much tragedy that you know, we 886 00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:36,399 Speaker 1: don't really have the opportunity to shift fully. It's hard 887 00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:38,680 Speaker 1: to behold all that we're seeing right now. It is, 888 00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:44,040 Speaker 1: and we're doing this very dualistic job of staying present 889 00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:47,399 Speaker 1: in our lives, updating our social media, doing all the things, 890 00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:52,120 Speaker 1: raising our kids, doing the things, and seeing people shot 891 00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:55,879 Speaker 1: dead on a daily basis. You know that we don't 892 00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:58,520 Speaker 1: even know the long term effects of taking on this 893 00:48:58,719 --> 00:49:02,279 Speaker 1: much grief every day, which is another reason why having 894 00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:07,120 Speaker 1: that daily practice it makes it not just easier, but 895 00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:09,479 Speaker 1: it does give you the opportunity to have more joy 896 00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:11,920 Speaker 1: even through the midst of all of this. I was 897 00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:14,560 Speaker 1: going to ask you, you know, with especially with kids, 898 00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:19,359 Speaker 1: I'm noticing and I'm seeing kids are more emotional, right, Yeah, 899 00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:22,520 Speaker 1: They're more explaining their feelings, expressing their feelings, trying to 900 00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:24,759 Speaker 1: find themselves at an early age. Is that a good 901 00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:26,600 Speaker 1: or a bad thing? Right? And the reason I'm asking 902 00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:28,080 Speaker 1: most people are be like, oh, that's a good thing. 903 00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:30,719 Speaker 1: But I'm seeing a lot of kids not being able 904 00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:37,200 Speaker 1: to find themselves and hurting themselves committing suicide or being 905 00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:39,400 Speaker 1: very quote unquote emo as kids say, So is that 906 00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:41,000 Speaker 1: a good thing a bad thing? Because as a kid, 907 00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:42,840 Speaker 1: that's one thing I don't think I thought of. I 908 00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:44,279 Speaker 1: don't know if anybody else in the room thought of. 909 00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:46,440 Speaker 1: As a kid, I didn't think about how I felt. 910 00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:48,560 Speaker 1: I just went outside and had fun. I went to 911 00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:51,799 Speaker 1: school because I had to. I ate because I had to. Nowadays, 912 00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:54,399 Speaker 1: you know, kids are you know, they're finding out more 913 00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:56,400 Speaker 1: about themselves. They're telling you why they don't want to 914 00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:59,920 Speaker 1: eat vegetables. They're like, it's more of that. But it's 915 00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:01,719 Speaker 1: that good or is that bad? I think because we're 916 00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:04,680 Speaker 1: encouraging conversation, Like I know, growing up, bout my dad, 917 00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:06,560 Speaker 1: shut up, punch me in the chest, you know what 918 00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:08,920 Speaker 1: I mean? Like we would talk to suppress our emotions 919 00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:12,160 Speaker 1: a lot of time. Yeah. Yeah, And you know, from 920 00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:14,680 Speaker 1: my view as a kid, I was always talking about 921 00:50:14,719 --> 00:50:17,040 Speaker 1: my feelings to the point that it made all the 922 00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:20,239 Speaker 1: adults in my life really irritated. And so then you 923 00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:22,879 Speaker 1: kind of hide them a little bit. I think there, 924 00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:24,840 Speaker 1: you know, there is no good or bad, and I 925 00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:27,800 Speaker 1: think that it's both at the same time. And what 926 00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:30,800 Speaker 1: I think is so important about being a conscious and 927 00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:34,799 Speaker 1: active parent in your child's life is really witnessing them 928 00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:37,480 Speaker 1: for themselves, not through our lens of projection of who 929 00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:39,200 Speaker 1: we want them to be or who we were at 930 00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:42,759 Speaker 1: their age, but looking and saying, you know, if my 931 00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:45,719 Speaker 1: child is this way, if they are quote unquote emo, 932 00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:48,920 Speaker 1: or if they are a deep feeler or feeling this 933 00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:53,040 Speaker 1: pressure to know who they are, how can I one 934 00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:56,719 Speaker 1: soothe that a little bit? You know? How can I 935 00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:59,360 Speaker 1: make that more of a gentle experience for them and 936 00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:01,840 Speaker 1: the words I use with themselves? And then also how 937 00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:04,840 Speaker 1: can I support that? How can I if the community 938 00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:07,520 Speaker 1: they need for who they are is not around them, 939 00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:10,439 Speaker 1: how can I look to supplement that in their lives? 940 00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:13,200 Speaker 1: In some ways, I think it's both. I mean, I 941 00:51:13,239 --> 00:51:15,759 Speaker 1: think it's incredible that kids are as self aware as 942 00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:17,759 Speaker 1: they are. It's kind of mind blowing, you know. I 943 00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:20,680 Speaker 1: work with a lot of gen z. Like I just 944 00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:24,719 Speaker 1: taught for a semester in Atlanta with this group of 945 00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:28,240 Speaker 1: young men who were roughly around the age of sixteen. 946 00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:30,799 Speaker 1: So many of the things that I was teaching them, 947 00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:34,120 Speaker 1: they were so familiar with those concepts already, which was like, what, 948 00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:37,600 Speaker 1: how do y'all know how you feel already, but then 949 00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:41,480 Speaker 1: at the same time it can become too much of 950 00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:44,480 Speaker 1: a focus to where you're not giving yourself the chance 951 00:51:45,200 --> 00:51:48,279 Speaker 1: to be something new, to learn new things. I have 952 00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:50,719 Speaker 1: two more questions in that action I want to ask 953 00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:53,719 Speaker 1: of you. But the first question is what does self 954 00:51:53,760 --> 00:52:04,920 Speaker 1: acceptance look like. Acceptance looks like deep surrender and deep trust. 955 00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:12,439 Speaker 1: To accept yourself means that you are aware of all 956 00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:14,520 Speaker 1: that you are, including the things that may be a 957 00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:17,080 Speaker 1: little bit unfinished or the things that you may have judged, 958 00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:20,560 Speaker 1: but to know that it all serves purpose. You know, 959 00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:24,920 Speaker 1: to have acceptances to also have this trust that I 960 00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:28,480 Speaker 1: may not like everything that's happening right now or that 961 00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:32,320 Speaker 1: has happened to me, but I do understand and trust 962 00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:35,200 Speaker 1: that it is serving a purpose I don't yet know. 963 00:52:36,200 --> 00:52:39,279 Speaker 1: And so I am an acceptance of what currently is. 964 00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:41,880 Speaker 1: Doesn't mean you don't want it to change, doesn't mean 965 00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:44,440 Speaker 1: it doesn't have the potential to change. But I'm an 966 00:52:44,440 --> 00:52:48,440 Speaker 1: acceptance that this jest is when you come into acceptance, 967 00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:51,360 Speaker 1: you come into your personal power because you're not trying 968 00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:55,320 Speaker 1: to fight everything, you're not trying to control every outcome. 969 00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:59,200 Speaker 1: You're creating this space for more to unfold, and that's 970 00:52:59,239 --> 00:53:01,160 Speaker 1: where you get to be creative with yourself. You get 971 00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:03,360 Speaker 1: to be creative with your life. You get to be 972 00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:06,480 Speaker 1: a co creator of what this journey will look like 973 00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:08,960 Speaker 1: for you. But you have to be an acceptance. If 974 00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:11,040 Speaker 1: you're in judgment of yourself, if you're in judgment of 975 00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:16,120 Speaker 1: your life experiences, it makes it almost impossible to change 976 00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:18,800 Speaker 1: any of them in a really meaningful way. Is that 977 00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:21,120 Speaker 1: the first step to beginning to love yourself? Because that's 978 00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:23,760 Speaker 1: my second question, How do you begin to love yourself? 979 00:53:24,239 --> 00:53:26,479 Speaker 1: I think they're kind of both happening at the same time, 980 00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:30,200 Speaker 1: but I will say you to love yourself. It's a 981 00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:33,360 Speaker 1: constantly evolving process, but I think it does require that 982 00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:37,399 Speaker 1: daily practice that I talked about. Loving yourself requires your 983 00:53:37,440 --> 00:53:42,120 Speaker 1: own sweat equity into yourself and your body. Loving yourself 984 00:53:42,239 --> 00:53:45,560 Speaker 1: can't be related to how really you look, how other 985 00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:48,080 Speaker 1: people are validating you or not, how they're treating you. 986 00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:52,239 Speaker 1: It has to be like, I exist and that's enough, 987 00:53:52,719 --> 00:53:55,280 Speaker 1: and that alone is worthy of love. I am breathing 988 00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:57,880 Speaker 1: right now. That is worthy of love, That is worthy 989 00:53:57,920 --> 00:54:00,640 Speaker 1: of gratitude, no matter who I've been, no matter what 990 00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:04,120 Speaker 1: choices I want to redo. There is more to me 991 00:54:04,960 --> 00:54:09,279 Speaker 1: than one definition. So yeah, the action I want to 992 00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:10,560 Speaker 1: ask is, like, you know, I know we have a 993 00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:12,319 Speaker 1: lot of people listening right now. They might have seen 994 00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:15,600 Speaker 1: the sessions they you know, probably listen to dropping gems. 995 00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:18,840 Speaker 1: I want to do like a mindfulness minute, like what's up? 996 00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:22,360 Speaker 1: What's up? Breathing exercise is something that we could do 997 00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:25,279 Speaker 1: to like just ground people right now in this moment. 998 00:54:25,560 --> 00:54:27,040 Speaker 1: I would love to are you guys all going to 999 00:54:27,080 --> 00:54:31,000 Speaker 1: do with me? Sure? Okay? I want to ask everybody 1000 00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:33,760 Speaker 1: right now listening connecting to the sound of my voice 1001 00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:39,840 Speaker 1: Angela and v Shar come into a relaxed state with 1002 00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:42,520 Speaker 1: your body, and I want to invite you to gently 1003 00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:46,160 Speaker 1: close your eyes and if you can just uncross your 1004 00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:50,160 Speaker 1: arms a little bit and let your back sit really supported, 1005 00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:54,520 Speaker 1: let your spine feel straight and supported. And I want 1006 00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:57,280 Speaker 1: you to just notice your body now with your eyes closed, 1007 00:54:57,400 --> 00:55:01,640 Speaker 1: and notice how your seat feels, how you feel in 1008 00:55:01,719 --> 00:55:05,480 Speaker 1: your seat, and just see if there's an opportunity to 1009 00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:08,400 Speaker 1: feel a little softer inside of your body right now 1010 00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:13,960 Speaker 1: in this moment. Release any tension that maybe in your shoulders. 1011 00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:19,440 Speaker 1: Let your forearms just be really gently on the tops 1012 00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:22,560 Speaker 1: of your thighs. Maybe turn your palms upward into a 1013 00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:29,200 Speaker 1: state of receiving. Unclench your jaw if there's any pressure present, 1014 00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:32,879 Speaker 1: and now let yourself just stretch your neck a little 1015 00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:38,920 Speaker 1: bit from side to side. Your eyes are closed, and 1016 00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:44,360 Speaker 1: now let's connect to our breath first. Begin to notice 1017 00:55:44,640 --> 00:55:48,480 Speaker 1: how your natural breath is feeling in your body, how 1018 00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:54,880 Speaker 1: it feels in your chest, in and out, supporting your existence. 1019 00:55:56,880 --> 00:55:58,719 Speaker 1: And I want to invite you to take your right 1020 00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:02,719 Speaker 1: hand and place it over your chest, right at your 1021 00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:07,840 Speaker 1: heart center. And now just notice what that pressure of 1022 00:56:07,960 --> 00:56:10,600 Speaker 1: your hand feels like. Would you like it to be 1023 00:56:10,680 --> 00:56:15,200 Speaker 1: a firmer touch, a lighter touch. Can the palm of 1024 00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:19,239 Speaker 1: your hand connect to the core of your heart? And 1025 00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:23,359 Speaker 1: just notice the support that you feel in your body 1026 00:56:23,480 --> 00:56:27,440 Speaker 1: holding yourself in this way. And now we're going to 1027 00:56:27,520 --> 00:56:31,440 Speaker 1: begin some deep breathing through our noses. We're going to 1028 00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:35,600 Speaker 1: do some big inhales through her nose and then out 1029 00:56:35,680 --> 00:56:38,840 Speaker 1: of our nose, and we'll do this three times together. 1030 00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:43,200 Speaker 1: And what we're looking to do is take a big 1031 00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:51,080 Speaker 1: deep inhale, slowly fully starting now filling your chest and 1032 00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:54,799 Speaker 1: really stretched, take it a little more air, and then 1033 00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:58,800 Speaker 1: hold the air at the top. Once it's in, allow 1034 00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:02,360 Speaker 1: it to circulate for a moment. And now as we 1035 00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:04,600 Speaker 1: breathe out of our nose, I want you to do 1036 00:57:04,719 --> 00:57:09,600 Speaker 1: it slowly and fully, really pace yourself on that exhale, 1037 00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:13,560 Speaker 1: let it all come out. And now we'll begin that 1038 00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:21,160 Speaker 1: breath again and through your nose, let your chest expand 1039 00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:31,840 Speaker 1: your heart open, hold it and release. And now begin 1040 00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:42,280 Speaker 1: again in through your nose and hold it and release 1041 00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:47,520 Speaker 1: that breath. And I still gently closed, hand over heart, 1042 00:57:47,760 --> 00:57:52,480 Speaker 1: allow yourself to return to whatever breath feels natural and 1043 00:57:52,640 --> 00:58:00,800 Speaker 1: nourishing and internally right now, silently to yourself, I'd like 1044 00:58:00,880 --> 00:58:04,600 Speaker 1: you to repeat, I am calling forward my highest self. 1045 00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:11,240 Speaker 1: I am calling forward my highest self. I am calling 1046 00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:15,840 Speaker 1: forward my highest self. I am calling forward my highest self. 1047 00:58:18,440 --> 00:58:20,960 Speaker 1: And I want you to think about something currently present 1048 00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:25,040 Speaker 1: in your life, something that has charged it could be 1049 00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:30,080 Speaker 1: perceived as good as challenging, but something that you've really 1050 00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:33,800 Speaker 1: been chewing on lately. Some dynamic may be in your 1051 00:58:33,880 --> 00:58:39,200 Speaker 1: life or relationship, or something you're excited about. I would 1052 00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:41,720 Speaker 1: just want you to hold that seat in your mind's eye, 1053 00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:45,320 Speaker 1: whatever is unique to you that you are working with 1054 00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:51,080 Speaker 1: in this moment, and I want you to think about 1055 00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:58,840 Speaker 1: any nourishing or evolutionary choices or lens of perceptions that 1056 00:58:58,960 --> 00:59:03,080 Speaker 1: you can shift to around whatever this morsel is that 1057 00:59:03,200 --> 00:59:08,760 Speaker 1: you're chewing on, whatever is present. Is it about surrendering, 1058 00:59:09,120 --> 00:59:13,680 Speaker 1: Is it about an action step, or is it just 1059 00:59:13,880 --> 00:59:19,800 Speaker 1: an observation something that can be released and now based 1060 00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:23,800 Speaker 1: on your unique experience that you're holding in your mind 1061 00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:26,560 Speaker 1: and your heart, I want you to think of an 1062 00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:31,720 Speaker 1: intention around it. And maybe it is my intention is 1063 00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:38,240 Speaker 1: to release this, or my intention is to really feel 1064 00:59:38,440 --> 00:59:44,600 Speaker 1: all of this, or my intention is to manifest this 1065 00:59:47,400 --> 00:59:51,800 Speaker 1: and silently within your own hearts to yourselves, I want 1066 00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:56,400 Speaker 1: you to state that intention my intention is, and you 1067 00:59:56,480 --> 00:59:59,120 Speaker 1: can do it inside in this moment, and everyone connecting 1068 00:59:59,160 --> 01:00:03,200 Speaker 1: to the sound of my voice listening, I hope you're 1069 01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:09,920 Speaker 1: doing the same. And now we're gonna do a cleansing 1070 01:00:10,160 --> 01:00:13,600 Speaker 1: lion's breath, which is gonna be a deep inhale through 1071 01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:17,720 Speaker 1: your nose, and then it'll be followed out by signing 1072 01:00:17,760 --> 01:00:20,280 Speaker 1: it out through your mouth with your tongue out and 1073 01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:26,520 Speaker 1: it'll sound a little like this. So we'll begin our 1074 01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:34,400 Speaker 1: inhale now through our noses and release through your mouth, 1075 01:00:39,120 --> 01:00:41,760 Speaker 1: and now shake out your hand that was on your heart, 1076 01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:44,200 Speaker 1: allow it to drop back down to the tops of 1077 01:00:44,320 --> 01:00:50,480 Speaker 1: your thighs, and as you feel ready, gently open your eyes. Ah, 1078 01:00:53,480 --> 01:00:59,200 Speaker 1: how do you guys? How can I want to sleep? 1079 01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:02,800 Speaker 1: Just that I want to do that. I want to 1080 01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:04,840 Speaker 1: I've been telling iHeart for the longest. We need a 1081 01:01:04,920 --> 01:01:09,720 Speaker 1: mindfulness minute on the radio during the middays. I've screamed 1082 01:01:09,760 --> 01:01:13,120 Speaker 1: it to a million different executives. It needs to happen. 1083 01:01:13,320 --> 01:01:15,680 Speaker 1: People need that, And you know that experience that we 1084 01:01:15,800 --> 01:01:19,400 Speaker 1: just did. If everyone could start and end their day 1085 01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:22,280 Speaker 1: like that, we'll probably spent maybe a minute there, right. 1086 01:01:22,800 --> 01:01:24,760 Speaker 1: If I wasn't talking and you just did the breath 1087 01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:29,360 Speaker 1: with myself, maybe thirty seconds. That is a daily practice. 1088 01:01:29,480 --> 01:01:32,240 Speaker 1: What we just did that was breathwork. So that's an 1089 01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:35,760 Speaker 1: experience that you can invite into your life to regulate 1090 01:01:35,800 --> 01:01:39,000 Speaker 1: your nervousness. Because what was happening internally as we did 1091 01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:41,640 Speaker 1: that was our body was able to come into the 1092 01:01:41,720 --> 01:01:44,640 Speaker 1: present moment. We were in the moment of what is 1093 01:01:44,840 --> 01:01:48,120 Speaker 1: We were inside of our bodies. Many people that heard 1094 01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:50,800 Speaker 1: my voice were connecting to parts of their bodies for 1095 01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:54,040 Speaker 1: the first time. If you're under deep stress or you 1096 01:01:54,120 --> 01:01:58,560 Speaker 1: have had trauma, you don't feel present in your body, 1097 01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:02,440 Speaker 1: and so to just be able to settle into yourself 1098 01:02:02,960 --> 01:02:06,200 Speaker 1: and then to give yourself that nourishing breath that resets 1099 01:02:06,560 --> 01:02:13,080 Speaker 1: your emotional center, it changes what's possible. The thing about trauma, depression, stress, anxiety, 1100 01:02:13,800 --> 01:02:17,040 Speaker 1: it limits what's possible in your life because it limits 1101 01:02:17,080 --> 01:02:20,000 Speaker 1: the choices you make and how you view yourself. When 1102 01:02:20,040 --> 01:02:22,160 Speaker 1: you have daily practice and when you do a breath 1103 01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:25,360 Speaker 1: like that, it reconnects you to the truth of who 1104 01:02:25,440 --> 01:02:28,400 Speaker 1: you are. When you're coming from your authenticity, when you're 1105 01:02:28,480 --> 01:02:32,920 Speaker 1: not triggered, and from that space, it's limitless because you're 1106 01:02:32,960 --> 01:02:36,880 Speaker 1: able to make endless amounts of choices of who you'll be, 1107 01:02:37,160 --> 01:02:39,800 Speaker 1: how you'll behave, what you'll do. And that's what so 1108 01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:41,919 Speaker 1: many of us need. We just need to be able 1109 01:02:41,960 --> 01:02:45,120 Speaker 1: to be anchored into the moment, to feel like ourselves 1110 01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:48,040 Speaker 1: inside so that we can make the decisions that really 1111 01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:50,400 Speaker 1: honor our lives. If you do a panic attacks, anxiety 1112 01:02:50,440 --> 01:02:54,520 Speaker 1: attacks at work, school, whatever it is, like that gets 1113 01:02:54,560 --> 01:02:57,280 Speaker 1: you right back to where you need to be, well, 1114 01:02:57,360 --> 01:03:01,840 Speaker 1: thank you so much. Brand tell them where to follow you. 1115 01:03:01,960 --> 01:03:04,920 Speaker 1: Death heit me on Instagram at Debbie Brown, my website 1116 01:03:04,960 --> 01:03:09,320 Speaker 1: Debbie Brown and on Amazon Prime Video. Watch the Sessions. 1117 01:03:09,480 --> 01:03:14,400 Speaker 1: It is an incredible, incredible documentary by Religion of Sports, myself, 1118 01:03:14,600 --> 01:03:18,840 Speaker 1: Deepak Chopra, and NBA superstar Draymond Green. Are there going 1119 01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:22,480 Speaker 1: to be other sessions? There are going to be other sessions, um, 1120 01:03:22,600 --> 01:03:24,560 Speaker 1: and we're really excited. I can't say anything yet, but 1121 01:03:24,680 --> 01:03:27,400 Speaker 1: we're really excited about how that is going to unfold. 1122 01:03:27,520 --> 01:03:30,320 Speaker 1: But that is definitely the intention. You know, Um, one 1123 01:03:30,360 --> 01:03:31,920 Speaker 1: of the things I love about the work that I 1124 01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:36,080 Speaker 1: do is supporting people who have lives of high impact. 1125 01:03:36,560 --> 01:03:38,720 Speaker 1: You know, when you can show up in this life 1126 01:03:38,800 --> 01:03:42,160 Speaker 1: of impact that you're living as all of yourself, how 1127 01:03:42,200 --> 01:03:45,400 Speaker 1: you're actually meant to change the world becomes more alive 1128 01:03:45,440 --> 01:03:48,200 Speaker 1: and more possible. And pick up DeBie Brown's book, Crystal 1129 01:03:48,280 --> 01:03:51,240 Speaker 1: Bliss Your Devil was talking about Crystal's Way before everybody 1130 01:03:51,280 --> 01:03:57,240 Speaker 1: else was. That book dropped in with twenty fourteen. Yeah fourteen, 1131 01:03:57,560 --> 01:04:00,800 Speaker 1: like yeah. And make sure you subscribed to Devi's podcast 1132 01:04:01,440 --> 01:04:04,640 Speaker 1: Dropping Gyms on the Black Effect podcast Network. There's so many, 1133 01:04:04,800 --> 01:04:08,640 Speaker 1: you know, high level conscious conversations on that podcast, So 1134 01:04:08,880 --> 01:04:12,160 Speaker 1: make sure you subscribe to that. Black Effect's Breakfast Club 1135 01:04:12,280 --> 01:04:12,800 Speaker 1: is Debbie Rap