Speaker 1: It's the j Shatty episode. Are you ready, Cara? I
Speaker 1: am ready, just like about all right, here we go.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have giggle box. You know, this is a
Speaker 1: punch drunk season. Now, all right, here we go. Hey, y'all, Hey,
Speaker 1: what's up? And welcome to let's Red Table that I'm
Speaker 1: Tracy t Row and I'm Clara Pressley. On the scale
Speaker 1: of one to ten, Tracy, I mean, how ready are
Speaker 1: you to talk about this episode in that brand new
Speaker 1: book of Jay Satty's. I am super duper ready. I
Speaker 1: am probably a nine point seven five. I'm I ready.
Speaker 1: I'm ready. Okay, okay, come on here, talk about it?
Speaker 1: Are you a ten? Am? Ten? I am ready to
Speaker 1: talk about it. I like Ja Shetty. I'm glad he's
Speaker 1: he might have been who has the most table he appearances.
Speaker 1: He might be tough. I think he may be winning
Speaker 1: before aside from Dr Ourphee. Maybe Dr Romney has been there.
Speaker 1: Dr Romney. Yeah. Dr Romney may may have him beating
Speaker 1: more table business. But he is definitely our top male
Speaker 1: visit of the table for sure, with an exclusive this
Speaker 1: time tell us about it. Oh my gosh, this book
Speaker 1: is not even released yet, but we have copies and
Speaker 1: I can't wait to break this book down for everyone.
Speaker 1: We're gonna take a short break right now, but when
Speaker 1: we get back, we'll break down the moments from Ja
Speaker 1: Shetty's appearance on Red Table Talk that had us saying, wait,
Speaker 1: what do alright? This is the part of the show
Speaker 1: where we reveal which moments made us pause, We're one
Speaker 1: and listen again because we all had to say, wait,
Speaker 1: what what was that? Listen? It was a few of
Speaker 1: this moment. Yeah, Gammy sharing that she fights to win
Speaker 1: rather than to fix the problem. Ronnie says, I fight
Speaker 1: to win. I fight to win instead of fighting too
Speaker 1: like to solve the problem. I'm gonna let him break
Speaker 1: it down. But it was so revealing for me. I
Speaker 1: was like, wow, Okay. She didn't ever take she didn't
Speaker 1: have to ask any questions about what the fighting styles were.
Speaker 1: She was like, Okay, I know what mine is. I
Speaker 1: want to be right, I want to want to win.
Speaker 1: We knew that again, what's yours? Do you know what
Speaker 1: yours as? I don't. I feel like I'm a lover
Speaker 1: not a fighter. Yeah, I love I don't believe that's
Speaker 1: in the book, but yeah, I did not read I'm
Speaker 1: a love or not a fighter in the book as
Speaker 1: the fighting style that definitely was not in the book
Speaker 1: out that though, so maybe we can ask for an addendum.
Speaker 1: And then he said in his book, Okay, every time
Speaker 1: one of you loses, you both lose, and every time
Speaker 1: the problem loses is you both win, which I think
Speaker 1: that is phenomenal because if you are really truly attacking
Speaker 1: the issue and the problem and not each other, then
Speaker 1: you move forward. So I guess if you did a
Speaker 1: very loose paraphrase, that would be I'm a lover, not
Speaker 1: a fighter. That's where I met or the Great Escape
Speaker 1: one said what I need from you is understand that
Speaker 1: that's what I heard. How can we communicate if you
Speaker 1: don't hear what I say? Come on? Come on? Ye
Speaker 1: not new? What's your fighting style? Tracy? Oh, Gammy, I've
Speaker 1: been locked up with Gamy the whole season five twins. Gamy.
Speaker 1: Gamy is my spiritual twin. But now I'm gonna tell
Speaker 1: you something. I have gotten better. Okay, I have gotten better.
Speaker 1: The better coach I become, the better listener, I become,
Speaker 1: the better focus I have on resolution. And so instead
Speaker 1: of wanting to be right now, I want to I
Speaker 1: want resolve. Listen, I hear that, because who has time
Speaker 1: to argue? Right, love, We're not a fighter. I love that.
Speaker 1: Another wait wet moment was Luma from the fan Wall
Speaker 1: dropped the nugget of wisdom based on her own experience,
Speaker 1: and she said, yeah, like, obviously, going through break up
Speaker 1: is really hard. I honestly think the hardest part is
Speaker 1: when you realize that them coming back is no longer
Speaker 1: the solution for your pain, like they can't figure that
Speaker 1: is for real? I felt that one in my spirit. Right,
Speaker 1: have you ever said this? Realization words? Sage words? You
Speaker 1: know a lot of times wisdom can come from having
Speaker 1: a hard lesson, and those were some wise words. She
Speaker 1: said that people can learn from that. For sure. That
Speaker 1: was a white because I was like, oh, listen, A
Speaker 1: few names immediately came to mind. I was like, no, right, wait,
Speaker 1: a manicola if powers don't work anymore? We never felt
Speaker 1: like that before. I have leaned in, come on here, no, listen.
Speaker 1: It could be anything from a man to a Chick
Speaker 1: fil a sandwich. Sometimes sometimes it's just not it anymore.
Speaker 1: See all right? That was what not the man or
Speaker 1: the sandwich? Okay, we're gonna come on here, don't quit
Speaker 1: no more, just depends. All right, that's the way what
Speaker 1: all is own? I think we can have a whole
Speaker 1: separate conversation about definitely could that part as we say
Speaker 1: at the virtual red table. From the red table, Now
Speaker 1: here's the other. Wait what in addition to your weight? What?
Speaker 1: From it? Could be a man or a chicken sandwich.
Speaker 1: Willow saying she wants to just move in with her
Speaker 1: friends and get a bunch of kids, always tell my girlfriends,
Speaker 1: let's just move in together when we're old and get
Speaker 1: a bunch of cats. I never do have do but
Speaker 1: if we do have boyfriends, great, they can come over
Speaker 1: sometimes we can see them whatever. But let's like be
Speaker 1: together and not like, oh, we have to just be
Speaker 1: old and gray with our significant other. She even took
Speaker 1: Ja shetty. He was like, Willow, He said, wait what
Speaker 1: he said? Wait? Would He was like, what does it
Speaker 1: have to be? Cats? Like? What what do you have?
Speaker 1: What she said? Or dogs? She did, but he had
Speaker 1: to say, doesn't have to be can you now? Or
Speaker 1: have you ever felt like this car where you like
Speaker 1: you know what? I'm just done? Yes, okay. I did
Speaker 1: not take long very much Willow very much. Well, I
Speaker 1: feel you, Willow. The people out here, they lie to us.
Speaker 1: They fairy tell us, I'm gonna get a shirt, say
Speaker 1: fairy taling on it. They lie to us, she they leave,
Speaker 1: They don't like us. Yeah, yeah, Willow. I felt just
Speaker 1: moving with your friends and get some cats, okay, Dan,
Speaker 1: whenever you have to do to preserve your peace. I
Speaker 1: pray we all find the real love and whatever we
Speaker 1: need out here. But the main thing about this book
Speaker 1: that I liked was just the fact that we're gonna
Speaker 1: be able to talk about some real steps and tap in,
Speaker 1: go on the inside and learn how to love yourselves first.
Speaker 1: So if Willow, if you need to learn how to
Speaker 1: love yourself at the house with the cats, I feel you, well,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you something. I was also proud that
Speaker 1: at the end of the episode, Willow got a phenomenal
Speaker 1: compliment from Ja Shetty about how he has learned so
Speaker 1: much from her, And I was just so proud because
Speaker 1: there's some absolute wisdom in her youth and experience, and
Speaker 1: she's got the benefit of being at the table. Imagine
Speaker 1: how much we've learned this season. So she's right there
Speaker 1: at the feet of it right in the part of it,
Speaker 1: and I think of it. She's learning stuff all day
Speaker 1: every day. Why's Willow wise? Willow? I like it? I
Speaker 1: like it. All right, we're gonna take a quick break,
Speaker 1: but when we get back, we'll dive into Ja Shett's
Speaker 1: brand new book Eight Rules of Love and why we
Speaker 1: think you should or shouldn't read this book yourself. Stay tuned.
Speaker 1: All right, let's get into it. Trace See what did
Speaker 1: you think of this book? L O V E no
Speaker 1: pun intended love love this book from the beginning to
Speaker 1: the end. It is chopped full of things you can
Speaker 1: do for yourself so that you are shored up and ready.
Speaker 1: And then it is completely aligned with love for self,
Speaker 1: love for relations love for romantic, love for friends, love
Speaker 1: for family. It applies all across the board. Now, there
Speaker 1: are some specifics that talk about your romantic relationships, because
Speaker 1: he would be remiss if he didn't include that. But
Speaker 1: this is a book that if you are in a relationship,
Speaker 1: if you're starting a relationship, if you want a relationship,
Speaker 1: or you're leaving a relationship, you need this book. That's
Speaker 1: what I think about it. How about that that I
Speaker 1: love that? I love that and I like the aspect
Speaker 1: of the book, and he talked to it, of course,
Speaker 1: of the episode where we really romantic size and put
Speaker 1: romantic love on a pedestal before any other love. I
Speaker 1: don't want to do that anymore. I think it's I
Speaker 1: think it's the wedding. I think the wedding weddings over time,
Speaker 1: from the weddings in England, London and just all across
Speaker 1: the world, and the Queen and the Who and the
Speaker 1: fairy tales. Think that those romantic loves have overshadowed the
Speaker 1: real love that we have day to day, from friendships
Speaker 1: to parents to siblings, so and even of course it's
Speaker 1: just the love of yourself. So yeah, I think you're
Speaker 1: right there. It's been romanticized and for a reason, right,
Speaker 1: that makes it indible, that makes it commercial, so that
Speaker 1: we can as sales exactly exactly, and so it makes sense.
Speaker 1: But I really believe if we were given an opportunity
Speaker 1: to incorporate some course training in like in middle school,
Speaker 1: you know, because we're not as simple as that. That part, yeah, right, Jake.
Speaker 1: She says we've made being alone or loneliness the enemy,
Speaker 1: completely disregarding the more positive term for being alon, which
Speaker 1: is solitude. How do you find joy in your solitude? Car?
Speaker 1: And then what does being alone and alone time mean
Speaker 1: to you? Man? I love being alone more so now
Speaker 1: and I did enjoy it before COVID. But thank you
Speaker 1: COVID for reminding me. Maybe I don't need to be
Speaker 1: around so many people. Maybe there is fun by myself, right.
Speaker 1: I find joy in my solitude through affirmation. Shout out
Speaker 1: to your affirmation cards, Tracy. I have a pack myself.
Speaker 1: I enjoyed those reading. I enjoy movies with no other
Speaker 1: conversation from anyone else, like my son because and I
Speaker 1: actually tend to be the talker sometimes in a movie.
Speaker 1: So you know, oh, a little self assessment. If I can,
Speaker 1: I can rewind if if I need to. It's just
Speaker 1: I can determine what I need and what I like.
Speaker 1: So my alone time is super important to me. Allows
Speaker 1: me to be creative as well. And you know, when
Speaker 1: I get back around people, I enjoyed more because I
Speaker 1: was able to step away. I think there's a common
Speaker 1: misconception that people that are extroverts like us don't really
Speaker 1: enjoy solitude, and I absolutely up. I mean I love it,
Speaker 1: I adore it, I cherish it, and there are times
Speaker 1: when I can go somewhere in the car and come
Speaker 1: back when I'm by myself and just pull up in
Speaker 1: the and it's like, Okay, let me just sit here
Speaker 1: for a moment. Turn the car off and let me
Speaker 1: just sit here. That was my outitude during COVID. I
Speaker 1: had to still go somewhere, so I got in the car.
Speaker 1: So out to everybody who sits in the car when
Speaker 1: they get home as well. I know we are not alone.
Speaker 1: But j Shett also explained in the book that it's
Speaker 1: important to find balance between time together with your romantic partner,
Speaker 1: Tom alone Tom, with our own friends, and time with
Speaker 1: collective friends. How have you maintained the balance like this
Speaker 1: in your life with Sweetie Tracy? Let me tell you something. Okay,
Speaker 1: maintained may not be the word like Sweetie if she
Speaker 1: heard that, she was like maintained? Who told you that? However,
Speaker 1: I will say that there is a part of this
Speaker 1: book that I love. In this the social calendar plan
Speaker 1: that he has in there For those of you who
Speaker 1: have busy schedules, like so many of us do. It's
Speaker 1: important for you to spend time with your loved one,
Speaker 1: but you know your friends are like, hey, don't leave
Speaker 1: me out. So what I did to try to incorporate
Speaker 1: some improved balance, I will say not maintain it, because
Speaker 1: I don't think I maintain it as well. It's the
Speaker 1: words for me. Language is super important for me. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, it's been an ongoing thing because I keep going,
Speaker 1: I need nothing. I stay super busy, and Sweetie is
Speaker 1: super supportive. But she also has times when she's like,
Speaker 1: look now, I do not want to be an afterthought here.
Speaker 1: Do not make me a foregone conclusion. And we went
Speaker 1: through a period of that, and so now Sunday is
Speaker 1: by day. Okay, I love that Sunday is by day.
Speaker 1: Sunday with the exception of we have some special arrangements
Speaker 1: where we do something with collective friends or family, Sunday
Speaker 1: is designated as by day. So that is how we've
Speaker 1: had some restoration of balance. And it's made a difference
Speaker 1: because it's not it doesn't even have to be anything big,
Speaker 1: like it doesn't have to be the super date night,
Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be anything fantastic like this week.
Speaker 1: I literally Bay day we were just I was just
Speaker 1: in bed. She was in the chair in the room,
Speaker 1: just chilling and talking, and I was nodding off, but
Speaker 1: it counted. Oh I'm glad that y'all have that, and
Speaker 1: they're going to continue with right. So absolutely it has
Speaker 1: been a real positive shift for us to have by
Speaker 1: day pay sweetie, love you, grateful for you being patient.
Speaker 1: Thank you so sweet. The Eight Rules of Love also
Speaker 1: includes several step by step guys and questions you can
Speaker 1: ask yourself today to start your journey to love, be
Speaker 1: it romantic or in friendship. And we're going to try
Speaker 1: some of these out. So, Cara, are you ready to
Speaker 1: dig deep for the pod? I'm ready, just like spongebub
Speaker 1: Let's go, let's go voice, Let's I love that, I
Speaker 1: love that. You did an excellent job with that one. Alright,
Speaker 1: so we know the first step in rule four, your
Speaker 1: partner is your guru. We're gonna identify some of the
Speaker 1: learning styles here, okay, So let's just do a quick
Speaker 1: review of the learning styles and then we can talk
Speaker 1: a little bit about all of them. Okay. The learning
Speaker 1: styles are there's four hearing, vision, thought, and motion. Okay.
Speaker 1: So the hearing style means that you like it when
Speaker 1: you can take in new information through your ears. This
Speaker 1: can be through listening to fantastic podcasts like this one,
Speaker 1: audio books or Ted talks, right, so I like listening. However,
Speaker 1: comma vision learning visually, vision learning is watching someone demonstrate
Speaker 1: the skill or maybe following a diagram. Okay, so when
Speaker 1: I hit the one that that you are resonating with,
Speaker 1: let me know when he let me know, it's giving
Speaker 1: vision already, I can tell you. Let's hear the rest.
Speaker 1: Let's just say okay, okay, we'll come back to vision
Speaker 1: because I'm with you there. Thought learning happens all internally
Speaker 1: when you absorb information in your head. Might think like
Speaker 1: reading a book on a topic of interest, taking notes
Speaker 1: as you read and putting it into your own words.
Speaker 1: That says, Car, I've seen you take notes. Definitely do
Speaker 1: write things down. Yeah, I've seen you take notes. So then, finally,
Speaker 1: motion learning means you learn by doing. You might want
Speaker 1: to take a workshop where you get to try out
Speaker 1: new skills as you acquire them. So now let's go back.
Speaker 1: We had hearing, vision, thought, and motion. Which one is
Speaker 1: your learning style? Car, I'm feeling vision and thought because
Speaker 1: I am in my head a lot. I mean, even
Speaker 1: with my consulting on the side, I specialize in brainstorming
Speaker 1: sessions with clients. So clearly I envisioned and thought learning.
Speaker 1: What about you, Tracy? Okay, So here's what's interesting that
Speaker 1: you're a hybrid. I'm a hybrid too. When you said thought,
Speaker 1: I thought, maybe so, but I see too many squirrels,
Speaker 1: and I like as a coach. As a coach, I
Speaker 1: have to stay focused. So when I'm with my client,
Speaker 1: I do that. But here's for me what I am.
Speaker 1: A hybrid of vision and motion. I do great when
Speaker 1: I can see someone do it and I can try
Speaker 1: to do it myself like professor YouTube, yes, or even
Speaker 1: just instructing myself. And I've seen you and struck before,
Speaker 1: so I as well. I like to be in front
Speaker 1: of the class. Figure, I'd like to be in front
Speaker 1: of the class and help them get it in real time.
Speaker 1: So I feel that on motion. Yeah, those for a
Speaker 1: learning style. It's good to know that though, because it
Speaker 1: makes a difference when you know someone is a motion
Speaker 1: learned her and you're with someone who's a hearing learner,
Speaker 1: Like they're not gonna learn the same. That's night and day.
Speaker 1: Don't you think? Oh? Absolutely chazy? What about you? Do
Speaker 1: you know, sweeties? Learning style? And does she know yours? Okay?
Speaker 1: That's a good question. So I would say, sweeties learning
Speaker 1: style is absolutely visual. She's a vision learner, but also
Speaker 1: hybrid though, because she does a really good job of listening.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna say she's a hybrid. Now, I would
Speaker 1: say that if you ask her what my learning style is,
Speaker 1: she's probably absolutely going to say motion, because yeah, because
Speaker 1: she knows i'd like to, like I said, I am
Speaker 1: one who will fix the dryer, who will try to
Speaker 1: change the ice maker, because I'll go on YouTube and
Speaker 1: look at the people who are the subject matter experts,
Speaker 1: follow their video, and then go order the parts and
Speaker 1: do it. And also because she knows I talk a
Speaker 1: lot and won't ever really be quiet enough to hear
Speaker 1: I believe I'm just gonna tab been real quick. I
Speaker 1: want to say my son is probably a visual learner,
Speaker 1: and and probably like myself, we both I don't think
Speaker 1: we read the instructions at all. I believe we're just
Speaker 1: seeing at the photo and then we have those extra
Speaker 1: pieces left, like oh, right, this was that? I wonder
Speaker 1: where this wet right missed it in the second step? Right? Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, how has learning each other's styles helped your relationship?
Speaker 1: Can you think of a time when maybe you've applied
Speaker 1: it or like, oh, I know she would like this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I think especially for us have been together
Speaker 1: as long as we have the things you learn as
Speaker 1: you go, he makes the journey a little bit smoother.
Speaker 1: They're always going to be some bumpy roads when you're
Speaker 1: in a relationship, but when you take time to make
Speaker 1: the investment and say, oh, now I understand why this
Speaker 1: is true for you, or what makes this true for you,
Speaker 1: or how you think or how you learn, it does help.
Speaker 1: So for those of you who are listening us, like
Speaker 1: I never gave that any thought. That's why this book
Speaker 1: is so good that I'm telling you listen so good.
Speaker 1: I love when we incorporate pieces like this as we
Speaker 1: talk about relationships and you know, not of course not
Speaker 1: just romantic, but in this relationship because we have to
Speaker 1: stop waiting for the people to change. As I get older,
Speaker 1: I just realized how many times we were like, I
Speaker 1: care about this person, but why won't they change? Why
Speaker 1: won't they change? Instead of just acknowledging you're not compatible
Speaker 1: and who they are that part, just let's accept it
Speaker 1: for where we are, meet them where they are. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Because when you have that kind of resistance because you
Speaker 1: want them to become who you want them to be.
Speaker 1: Instead of just acknowledging and accepting who they are, you'll
Speaker 1: never get where you want to be, which is healthy
Speaker 1: and happy that part. Are you ready to talk about
Speaker 1: fighting styles? I am ready, me too, just like I'm ready.
Speaker 1: I love this game, told us hers, but let's discover ours.
Speaker 1: So from rule six, win or lose together, Jay Shetty
Speaker 1: walks us through identifying our egos and passions in a conflict.
Speaker 1: Which of the fighting reasons listed in the book resonates
Speaker 1: with you? I can tell you right at the time
Speaker 1: which one. There are a couple of different things in
Speaker 1: the book that were listed just to be fair so
Speaker 1: that we can make sure we don't just dive in
Speaker 1: and go okay. So, Tracy, you like to be right
Speaker 1: with a surprise, so you know that you get a
Speaker 1: chance to ask some questions right like and my fighting
Speaker 1: because and it's like filling the blank. So on my
Speaker 1: fighting because I believe what it's best, which is where
Speaker 1: I was for a long time. And my fighting because
Speaker 1: I want the person to change, which mentioned what you
Speaker 1: were talking about earlier. You want to modify that person
Speaker 1: and not just let them be or they need to
Speaker 1: correct their behavior. And my fighting because the situation offends
Speaker 1: me to the core. Now that one I love. If
Speaker 1: something offends you to the core, you want to fight
Speaker 1: about it. You know what I'm saying. That's gonna strike
Speaker 1: a nerve. That's passion. That's that's definitely pass and it's
Speaker 1: different from ego because the passion that's like, that's that
Speaker 1: inner fuel. Right, they have offended your morals to a
Speaker 1: certain degree, right, stand by, but go ahead. See I
Speaker 1: totally get that. And then am I fighting because I
Speaker 1: feel different? Which is also you think about, like, especially
Speaker 1: in this political climate, right, how people think differently. They
Speaker 1: have different views and they're passionate about and they argue
Speaker 1: and fight about it. And that's something that can get
Speaker 1: really unbelievably out of control. Let it or here's what
Speaker 1: I love. And this was you I'm a lover or
Speaker 1: not a fighter? Part? You said you're fighting because you
Speaker 1: want to improve the situation, right, that's the goodness part.
Speaker 1: And then fighting because you want to become closer, which
Speaker 1: I love that I see. I found myself now being
Speaker 1: in a position where instead of fighting on the side
Speaker 1: of ego, I fight on the side of goodness that
Speaker 1: it's like okay at some point because I just absolutely
Speaker 1: hate I feel sick to my stomach when Sweedie and
Speaker 1: I fight, and I just okay, let's revisit this and
Speaker 1: I come back in a calm place because I will
Speaker 1: take you all the way there. You know, the Aquarius
Speaker 1: powers gets real deep. Slice you. I can slice you,
Speaker 1: and you won't even know you're slice until you walk away.
Speaker 1: In your arm is behind you. Okay, you won't know
Speaker 1: you cut off until you try to call. So I'm
Speaker 1: doing better about that because it's healthier for me to
Speaker 1: right understood. No, you know, it's loving the club, loving
Speaker 1: the club. I don't want to say it's none of these,
Speaker 1: but if I had to pick, it would be because
Speaker 1: I want to improve the situation, and then improvement looks
Speaker 1: like understanding the other person. The problem comes when they
Speaker 1: don't want to understand me. Now I am offended to
Speaker 1: the core to the core, to the core. Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: now I'm passionate about it because how dare you the core? Yeah? So,
Speaker 1: but you know, I would like to improve the situation,
Speaker 1: get closer because we also maybe understand each other more
Speaker 1: so it's definitely coming from a good place, right, I
Speaker 1: really like that. I like that. I'm gonna do my
Speaker 1: best to try to remember that quote from his book
Speaker 1: about when you argue, if you're if you lose, if
Speaker 1: the goal is for for one person to lose, then
Speaker 1: both of you lose no matter what. And really what
Speaker 1: you're fighting is the problem. And that's so good. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's just sage and we're on the same team, right,
Speaker 1: which also makes me think about another thing he said
Speaker 1: on the episode was when you're fighting and you're across
Speaker 1: from each other, that you don't tend to resolve as
Speaker 1: opposed to when you're sitting side by side beside each other. Yes,
Speaker 1: you know, positioning right is important, which is also while
Speaker 1: like in a relationship you can't have one person on
Speaker 1: the pedestal to the other person. Is not like even
Speaker 1: how we think of each other in hierarchy standards, like
Speaker 1: we've gotta be on that level ground, right, That's right.
Speaker 1: I'm excited for it. This book is going to change
Speaker 1: live So I hope you get the book and change
Speaker 1: your life. That part what new perspective or exercise and
Speaker 1: enables and love are you going to carry with you
Speaker 1: or try for yourself and Tracy. So there are so
Speaker 1: many tried this sections throughout the book. For each of
Speaker 1: the rules, there's a try this at least one try this.
Speaker 1: And the one try this that I am absolutely going
Speaker 1: to be intentional about is the like what I'm calling
Speaker 1: the self assessment and the solitude. There's this practice of
Speaker 1: solitude aside from the car because I don't think that's
Speaker 1: really enough. I don't think it's really enough to to
Speaker 1: feel like you're stealing away time. So I am going
Speaker 1: to be intentional about doing that, and I want to
Speaker 1: try to share that with other people, right because there's
Speaker 1: so many people we know that are busy. Sweetie does
Speaker 1: a much better job about having her solitude than I do.
Speaker 1: Because your career coach, I'm a mindset coach. We're giving,
Speaker 1: We're connected to people all the time, and I look
Speaker 1: back at the day and before i know it, it's
Speaker 1: time to go to bed. I can't pore out of
Speaker 1: an empty vessel. So I'm going to really practice that,
Speaker 1: that solitude and practicing what I preach because I tell
Speaker 1: my clients all the time they need to make investments
Speaker 1: in themselves, and so I'm going to do the same. Yes,
Speaker 1: I am in alignment with you on that I enjoy
Speaker 1: my solitude and not even just that, just as a
Speaker 1: new entrepreneur as well. I'm enjoying my rest, my son listen,
Speaker 1: definitely having that heavy na ministry of my soul. And
Speaker 1: I'm not apologizing for the rest that I'm getting now
Speaker 1: because I am just as effective, if not more effective
Speaker 1: in the place of what I'm getting done and able
Speaker 1: to get done, I will say that, and being more
Speaker 1: myself because of the rest. Whereas previously I thought moving
Speaker 1: non stop was effective, and it was not because in
Speaker 1: my mind, I'm not going to burn out. It just
Speaker 1: that was ego. I have laid her to the side.
Speaker 1: So yes, I will continue to tell people how their
Speaker 1: solitude can also help them as well. If anything, just
Speaker 1: think some things through. So it's just one of those
Speaker 1: things that so universal that everyone may benefit from practicing
Speaker 1: solitude and understanding that it's not loneliness. And it's uncomfortable
Speaker 1: at first, and he talked through these parts in the book.
Speaker 1: It's uncomfortable, but then you just become present with yourself
Speaker 1: once you're used to it. So enjoyed that solitude because
Speaker 1: once that love come, you know you were sweetie there forever,
Speaker 1: right and trying together forever. That's a long time. That's
Speaker 1: a mighty long time, long time. But we are ready
Speaker 1: for it. Yeah, I'm ready. I'm in it. I'm in
Speaker 1: it to win it. There's so many tried this, and
Speaker 1: the solitude is the one that stands out because we
Speaker 1: talked about that and it's applicable to everyone. I just
Speaker 1: want to be better, and so I think this is
Speaker 1: a tool to grow and be better. And here's another
Speaker 1: opportunity for growth and being better. Real eight is love
Speaker 1: again and again. Practicing this means extending our love to
Speaker 1: each and every person and every area of our lives.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna start practicing that right now. Actually, Cara, Oh,
Speaker 1: there's an appreciation practice that I love and it's simply
Speaker 1: is stating what I appreciate about you. So, Cara, what
Speaker 1: I appreciate about you is your unending, one, unequivocal perspective
Speaker 1: of the glass half full. You will see the dog
Speaker 1: on sunny side of the most crazy stuff. And I
Speaker 1: mind blown by that because then how many times I
Speaker 1: give you like cal area and really, and I'm like, what, Well,
Speaker 1: I appreciate that about you because that's like you have
Speaker 1: little blue birds, and you're like, no, don't say that,
Speaker 1: but it's a gift that you have maintained to be
Speaker 1: forty and to be in a place where you can
Speaker 1: still see things from this wonderful lens of naivete. It's refreshing.
Speaker 1: I appreciate that because it is difficult to actually stay
Speaker 1: in the space compared to what is actually out there.
Speaker 1: So thanks to this show, I pray that I am
Speaker 1: not being toxically positive. No, I don't think so. I
Speaker 1: think I don't think so either, But I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I think it's good to have that. But yes, it's
Speaker 1: I'm still refreshing when I can say, Carl, and I
Speaker 1: hope I encourage you to see the glass half full
Speaker 1: as well. You know, I mean, I'm got half empty
Speaker 1: all the way. But my glasses you're more than half full. Okay,
Speaker 1: your glass real, You've got a real it's more realistic.
Speaker 1: My glass is clear, your glass is green, your glasses
Speaker 1: rose colored. Well, thank you, Tracy. That's still beautiful compliment.
Speaker 1: And as I act, just this rutle eid as well.
Speaker 1: What I appreciate about you, Tracy, it's just your ability
Speaker 1: to continue to motivate no matter what, you will stop
Speaker 1: dead sentence and tell someone what you appreciate about them.
Speaker 1: You will affirm them and ensure that they are loved.
Speaker 1: It don't matter what, and it is from a true,
Speaker 1: genuine place, And you continue to cheer me on as
Speaker 1: an older version of myself. We talked about it all
Speaker 1: the time, how similar we are. But I see you
Speaker 1: in value as a mentor as well for me, and
Speaker 1: I appreciate you. Thank you example. It feels good to
Speaker 1: have a moment of appreciation. That's it does. Yes, Yes,
Speaker 1: it's needed, it's needed, It is needed. It really it's
Speaker 1: one of some episodes in and you know what I
Speaker 1: think for the listeners, what I want to encourage them
Speaker 1: to do, it's the same. Take time to tell someone
Speaker 1: what you appreciate about them is because it's just nice
Speaker 1: to hear it. It's nice to hear definitely, And well,
Speaker 1: hasn't this been a wonderful time of reflection full It's
Speaker 1: just beautiful it has. Man, I'm I just can't say
Speaker 1: it enough. I guess people say, yes you can, Tracy,
Speaker 1: because you said if you're out the whole days our episode,
Speaker 1: to get this book. But I'm telling y'all when this
Speaker 1: book comes out. I think presale starts at some point
Speaker 1: and we got it early, so I'm not sure exactly
Speaker 1: when pre sale, but pre sale is available and the
Speaker 1: book comes out in January. Don't wait. Get this book
Speaker 1: because you want to start practicing some of the things
Speaker 1: in here, because it will definitely improve your life and
Speaker 1: the lives of the people that you are closely connected
Speaker 1: to in wealth as well. Absolutely, we want to know
Speaker 1: how you're feeling about this new season of Red Table Talk,
Speaker 1: and we are open to talk about anything with you all.
Speaker 1: So because we appreciate you, we want you to know
Speaker 1: that you are able to send in your questions at
Speaker 1: Let's red Table that at red table talk dot com,
Speaker 1: or please feel free to use your voice and leave
Speaker 1: us a voicemail at speak pipe dot com slash Let's
Speaker 1: red Table that. We want to hear your voice. You
Speaker 1: know what, You can go to speak pike dot com
Speaker 1: slash red Table Talk and tell us what you appreciate
Speaker 1: about Carr and me. Well, we appreciate about you is
Speaker 1: that you've listened. Thank you so much for listening, and
Speaker 1: make sure you subscribe on I Heart Radio app and
Speaker 1: please rate this podcast on Apple Podcast. We want to five.
Speaker 1: We're not shock only. We'll be back next week for
Speaker 1: another episode of Let's Red Table That special Thanks to
Speaker 1: executive producers JD. P. Pett Smith, Valon Jethro and Ellen Rackinton.
Speaker 1: Thank you to our producer colleague and Rue and our
Speaker 1: associate producer Yolanda Chow. And finally, thanks to our sound
Speaker 1: engineer Stephanie Aguilar. Hey, let's table that, Let's red table that. Hey,
Speaker 1: let's read table.