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Speaker 1: Terrible advice low. I'm Rob Shooter, and today we're going

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Speaker 1: to do something a little bit different. I know that

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Speaker 1: you think of me as a podcaster, a gossip columnist,

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Speaker 1: someone who is naughty but nice, maybe somebody who once

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Speaker 1: worked with Jennifer Lopez, did He, Alicia Keys, bon Jovi,

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Speaker 1: Jessica Simpson, even British Royalty. And while all of that

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Speaker 1: is true, there's another side of my professional life that

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Speaker 1: I want to share with you. I am the best

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Speaker 1: selling author of The Four Word Answer, a book that

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Speaker 1: has changed my life and the life of thousands of

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Speaker 1: other people around the world by asking a very simple question,

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Speaker 1: who are you? In just four words? Are you kind?

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Speaker 1: Are you funny? Are you naughty? Are uchikie? Are you nice?

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Speaker 1: Who are you? In four words? I have seen firsthand

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Speaker 1: that every successful person I have ever met could describe

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Speaker 1: themselves in just four words. Who are you? Is going

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Speaker 1: to be the most important question you are ever going

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Speaker 1: to ask. Only those comfortable in their own skin will

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Speaker 1: know the answer, and only those who know the answer

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Speaker 1: will be successful. Just like I did when I worked

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Speaker 1: with j Lo or did He or Alicia, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: help you discover who you are in just four words

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Speaker 1: in these very short fifteen minutes also weekend bonus podcasts. Today,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna focused on the cruelest thing you will ever

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Speaker 1: say to yourself. Paul McCartney. Yes, that Paul McCartney, the Beatle,

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Speaker 1: said that even as one of the most successful living

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Speaker 1: songwriters and performers, worth over a billion dollars, he still

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Speaker 1: hears a nasty little voice inside his head telling him

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Speaker 1: the crueliest things that you could ever say to yourself,

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Speaker 1: telling him quote, I'm not good enough. Words that are

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Speaker 1: powerful enough to stop and destroy even the most successful

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Speaker 1: people in the world in just four seconds. Well, if

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Speaker 1: Paul hears them, then so does everybody else, including you.

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Speaker 1: We all just have to be as brave as Paul

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Speaker 1: and admit it, admit you have a cruel voice in

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Speaker 1: your head telling you you can't, you won't, You're not

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Speaker 1: good enough. It's a voice that steals happiness and joy

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Speaker 1: from people around the world every single day. Just imagine

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Speaker 1: how many brilliant songs, novels, plays, cures for diseases, or

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Speaker 1: just happy days we've all been robbed of because of

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Speaker 1: that nasty little voice. I know firsthand it has stolen

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Speaker 1: a great deal from me because I listened to that

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Speaker 1: voice for almost forty years. Stop and think, what is

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Speaker 1: it stolen from you? The guy or the girl you

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Speaker 1: never said hello to her, believing that you just were

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Speaker 1: not pretty handsome enough, the dream job maybe that you

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Speaker 1: didn't feel qualified to apply for, or the friends you

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Speaker 1: have never made because you didn't feel good enough to

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Speaker 1: hang out with them. What has it stolen from you?

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Speaker 1: If you are waiting for the perfect moment or until

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Speaker 1: you feel perfect to do something, I promise you're never

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Speaker 1: going to do it. So it's very wise to strive

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Speaker 1: to be good enough and foolish to strive for perfection.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people do this. They won't even take

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Speaker 1: a chance until everything is perfect wrong. Be good enough.

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Speaker 1: That has saved my life. I'm good enough. I'm not great,

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Speaker 1: I'm not extraordinary. There's a lot of people that are

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Speaker 1: better than me. There's a lot of people that are

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Speaker 1: not as good. But I've managed to turn off that

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Speaker 1: voice in my head that tells me, no, I'm not

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Speaker 1: good enough. The good news is that voice has been

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Speaker 1: a lie your entire life. A lie. It's not even

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Speaker 1: a voice, it's an echo, an echo you have been

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Speaker 1: listening to repeating the lies that other people have told

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Speaker 1: you before. That's what that voice is. Things that were

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Speaker 1: not true then and they are not true now. Over

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Speaker 1: my many, many years working with some of the most

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Speaker 1: successful people in the world, I have discovered that they

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Speaker 1: are often not the most talented people in the world. No,

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Speaker 1: it's not talent that my former superstar clients had in common.

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Speaker 1: What they have in common is the ability to silence

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Speaker 1: there I'm not good enough voice. First of all, like

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Speaker 1: Paul McCartney, they were brave enough to admit that those

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Speaker 1: voices existed inside them. You've got to admit that first.

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Speaker 1: But it's the way they handle those fears that made

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Speaker 1: them successful, and you can do this too. I once

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Speaker 1: was riddled riddled with self doubt and fear. I had

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Speaker 1: good reason to be too, after damage in my arm

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Speaker 1: at birth and having to learn to walk with a cane.

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Speaker 1: On top of all that, I'm a working class kid

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Speaker 1: from Birmingham, macho England and industrial town on its look

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Speaker 1: growing up in the eighties. And add to that, I'm

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Speaker 1: gay too. Oh. I had a lot of stuff that

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Speaker 1: made those voices in my mind really, really loud. No wonder,

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Speaker 1: I was constantly scared and frightened to the point where

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Speaker 1: I was immobilized with fear. Really, I literally couldn't move

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Speaker 1: because I was so frightened. Does that sound familiar. The

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Speaker 1: habit of second guess in myself had become so natural

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Speaker 1: that I wanted to become invisible. Every year, when I

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Speaker 1: blew my candles out on my birthday cake, I wished

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Speaker 1: I had an invisible cape. How sad that I wanted

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Speaker 1: to be invisible. I became that person that stopped contributing

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Speaker 1: and instead spent my life taking notes of other people's comments.

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Speaker 1: I never said anything. I never had my own thoughts.

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Speaker 1: I just wrote down other people's thoughts at school and

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Speaker 1: when I started my career. But that changed when I

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Speaker 1: started to ask myself every single morning while brushing my teeth,

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Speaker 1: who are you Rob Shooter? In forwards? It took a

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Speaker 1: moment to find the answer, but I knew immediately that

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Speaker 1: one of the worlds was cruel. I was cruel, especially

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Speaker 1: to myself, something that I was determined to change. It's

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Speaker 1: not easy to break a lifelong habit of saying cruel

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Speaker 1: things to yourself. In fact, it was really really hard.

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Speaker 1: But it was a change that changed everything, and something

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Speaker 1: I'm going to share with you the only way to

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Speaker 1: crush those nasty voices telling you that you are not

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Speaker 1: good enough is to go after your dreams. It's that easy.

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Speaker 1: Taking action. Taking action is the best way to prove

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Speaker 1: everyone wrong. Every voice, every negative voice in your head,

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Speaker 1: proved it wrong. By going after your dreams. Take action,

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Speaker 1: no matter what the voices are telling you. Remind yourself

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Speaker 1: how far you have come. The moment you realized you

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Speaker 1: climb the mountain is the moment you realize you can

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Speaker 1: overcome anything. You have to start showing up. This is

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Speaker 1: really important. You have to start believing in yourself just

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Speaker 1: as important, which you can only do when you stop

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Speaker 1: calling yourself names. I want you to start practicing every

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Speaker 1: single day. The next time you want to say something

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Speaker 1: unkind to yourself, stop literally stop and write that word down.

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Speaker 1: At the end of the day, you take a look

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Speaker 1: at all that abuse. That's what it is. Abuse, the

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Speaker 1: constant assault you go through on a daily basis. Is

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Speaker 1: it any wonder that you don't feel good enough? Well,

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Speaker 1: that stops today, because I'm here to tell you that

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Speaker 1: you are good enough. I promise you that when it

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Speaker 1: comes to natural abilities and talents, most of us have

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Speaker 1: about the same amount. Some of us might be better

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Speaker 1: singers than others, but very few of us are Whitney Houston.

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Speaker 1: I like to dance, but it doesn't make me fred

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Speaker 1: to stare, And really, who amongst us is a Bobby

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Speaker 1: Flay in the kitchen. My point is there are for

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Speaker 1: more ordinary people in the world than extraordinary, and that's

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Speaker 1: just fine. Think about it. Is your boss or your

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Speaker 1: supervisor really that talented. In fact, it's really rare to

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Speaker 1: find anyone who is truly exceptional, which is why when

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Speaker 1: they are, we call them extraordinary. So if it's not

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Speaker 1: God given talents that makes some people successful, what is it.

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Speaker 1: It is their ability to turn down the volume of

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Speaker 1: that nasty voice inside their head telling them they are

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Speaker 1: not good enough. The next time you feel unworthy, think

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Speaker 1: of the most average person you know who has achieved

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Speaker 1: the greatest six Think about it now, someone you know.

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Speaker 1: It might be a family member, it might be a friend,

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Speaker 1: it might be somebody you work with. Think of that

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Speaker 1: person the next time you don't feel good enough, the

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Speaker 1: next time you start hearing those negative voices starting to

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Speaker 1: pop up inside your head, to stop and think of

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Speaker 1: that person. Let me tell you a little secret. When

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Speaker 1: I was offered this podcast, I thought of that person,

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Speaker 1: and then I said yes. When I appear on the

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Speaker 1: Today Show, CNN or the other outlets you see me

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Speaker 1: on talking about the Royals or the Kardashians, I don't

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Speaker 1: think of the most talented people in the world. I

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Speaker 1: don't think of Jimmy Fallon or Stephen Colbert with his

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Speaker 1: razor shop wit. Now I think of somebody on TV

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Speaker 1: that I know. You know him too, who's not that talented.

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Speaker 1: He's very successful, but he's not that talented. And suddenly

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Speaker 1: it calms my nerves and it also turns down those

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Speaker 1: nasty voices in my head. I promise you that once

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Speaker 1: you make this little tricker habit, everything changes. Everything changes.

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Speaker 1: I remember a time when I was working with j

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Speaker 1: Lo that you might have heard of her. Well. She

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Speaker 1: was asked me what color shoes she should wear? Red

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Speaker 1: or black. That was a time in my life when

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Speaker 1: I froze, praying for that magic tape that I wanted

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Speaker 1: as a child to suddenly appear and make me disappear.

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Speaker 1: But instead I had an opinion, and I chose red.

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Speaker 1: We don't have to make the perfect choice, because the

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Speaker 1: perfect choice doesn't exist. In fact, often there is not

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Speaker 1: a bad choice because at the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: the color didn't matter. One manns to Jennifer is that

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Speaker 1: I had the confidence to make a choice. Believing you

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Speaker 1: are good enough to have an opinion will change everything.

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Speaker 1: And never forget that an opinion is not a fact.

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Speaker 1: Let me say that again, an opinion is not a fact.

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Speaker 1: The only person in your life with a p of

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Speaker 1: all the information about everything that's going on in your

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Speaker 1: life is you making the only opinion that matters yours.

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Speaker 1: People are always going to have something to say about you.

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Speaker 1: The more successful you become, the more opinions you are

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Speaker 1: going to get. Think about it. Can you imagine being

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Speaker 1: as successful as Beyonce? Imagine all the opinions she gets.

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Speaker 1: My point is you can never get away from opinions,

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Speaker 1: but you can stop them from over influencing your life

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Speaker 1: by constantly reminding yourself that the only opinion that matters

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Speaker 1: is yours. What you say about yourself counts, So choose

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Speaker 1: your words carefully because before too long, you will start

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Speaker 1: believing them. Your words have great power and will define you.

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Speaker 1: So if you wouldn't say it to somebody else, why

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Speaker 1: are you saying it to yourself. And now we know

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Speaker 1: what we mustn't say. Let's all practice the one thing

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Speaker 1: we should be saying a lot more. No. No, It's

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Speaker 1: a complete sentence. Never forget that you do not have

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Speaker 1: to explain yourself. I want everybody to get very comfortable

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Speaker 1: with saying no, because saying no is the only way

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Speaker 1: of saying yes to an amazing life. I'm just as

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Speaker 1: proud of the things I haven't done as the things

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Speaker 1: that I have done. But what makes me proudest of

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Speaker 1: all is I have finally stopped saying the cruelest things

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Speaker 1: to myself. The most important relationship you will have in

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Speaker 1: your entire life is with yourself. So cherish it because

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Speaker 1: the truth is, you are good enough. Just this morning,

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Speaker 1: when I got out of bed, I said to myself,

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Speaker 1: Rob Shooter, you are good enough. You are good enough.

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Speaker 1: You are good enough, You are good I said it

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Speaker 1: over and over again. So instead of saying the cruelest

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Speaker 1: things to yourself today, say the kindest, which is you

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Speaker 1: are good enough. I hope you enjoy these new short

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Speaker 1: podcasts that we plan to do as bonuses on the weekend.

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Speaker 1: Let me know, and don't worry, we will still be

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Speaker 1: back to the Naughty but Nice Show. Nothing's going to

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Speaker 1: change their lots of celebrity gossip five days a week,

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Speaker 1: as well as these extra bonus podcasts. Let's end with

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Speaker 1: our tagline, Remember everybody, if you're going to be naughty,

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Speaker 1: you've got to be nice. Take care. It's not even

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00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:34,640
Speaker 1: nice with