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Speaker 1: Motherfucking Mini Yourself Mini episode, motherfucking Mini Yourself.

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Speaker 2: My mother's so soft, So don't think I ain't hard.

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Speaker 3: Bitch, say we see make your rain, I say, bitch,

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Speaker 3: I ain't. God.

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Speaker 2: Welcome little Mama's in Gentiles alike to another phenomenal episode

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Speaker 2: of My Mama Told.

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Speaker 4: The podcast where we dive deep deep into the pockets

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Speaker 4: of black conspiracy theories.

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Speaker 2: And we finally worked to prove who has been braiding

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Speaker 2: Wayne's hair this whole time.

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Speaker 3: It can't be from the community.

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Speaker 5: Mmmmm, this is.

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Speaker 4: He saying, just saying, nobody would do Lil Wayne's there, Nobody,

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Speaker 4: nobody of African descent would do Lil Wayne's there the

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Speaker 4: way that it is now being done.

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Speaker 3: Who do you know who would fuck up that man's braids? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: I mean his dreads have snapped off, I would say,

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Speaker 4: a decade ago, and he's never made any adjustments, do

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Speaker 4: you know what I mean? Like, it doesn't feel like

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Speaker 4: he like, oh he snapped off. Maybe I should like

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Speaker 4: take on a new system, Maybe I need to try

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Speaker 4: some different products. It just feels like he's he's continuing

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Speaker 4: on the same path.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you can outrich a haircut too, Like

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Speaker 3: till you get so rich you don't really need a

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Speaker 3: good haircut. We see it a lot, Jake Cole, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: Tim Duncan, I think it's beautiful.

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Speaker 5: Jay Z did it. Jay Z was like, I'm never

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Speaker 5: getting the air cut again. I'm so rich.

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Speaker 3: How nice would it be to be free of every

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Speaker 3: two weeks?

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Speaker 2: I do think.

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Speaker 4: I do think it is sort of the more embarrassing

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Speaker 4: thing that happens when a billionaire is still trapped in

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Speaker 4: the same sort of like aesthetic standards that the rest

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Speaker 4: of us are.

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Speaker 1: Like.

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Speaker 4: I know why I fixed my hair in my face.

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Speaker 4: It's because that shallowness is all I have. But when

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Speaker 4: they do it, it feels like, okay, well, then what

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Speaker 4: the fuck did you get rich for?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, to dress like us? What are you talking about?

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Speaker 5: You're a loser, Yeah, loser.

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Speaker 2: I was speaking at the other day because I was

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Speaker 2: in the barbershop and theres going in on this dude,

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Speaker 2: and it was like some ship that I knew it

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Speaker 2: could get turned back at me for so I couldn't

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Speaker 2: even laugh too hard.

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Speaker 3: Uh right, all right, arms, I was like, it's this

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Speaker 3: short as me.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, we're just saying go ahead, take it easy, big man.

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Speaker 3: Some people, some people a lot of different body.

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Speaker 5: There's actually not one standard of beauty.

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Speaker 3: But hey, y'all felt us that fun. We're copping to

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Speaker 3: that European body standard. But we're not here.

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Speaker 2: We're not here to talk about my insecurities at the barbershop.

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Speaker 2: We have voicemails.

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Speaker 4: We have voicemails. You guys have been sending so many

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Speaker 4: fucking voicemails and it's really cool. And this first voicemail, Bay,

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Speaker 4: our producer, assures us, is worth the listen. We were

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Speaker 4: trusting that Bay is correct that this first view we've

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Speaker 4: opted not to listen to that my had of time.

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Speaker 4: We really want to hear a raw dog, unfiltered, and

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Speaker 4: so we're going to play it now.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, new listener, about two much now. But I've been

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Speaker 6: binging this ship out of this show, okay, And I

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Speaker 6: noticed or my mama told me that Langston a k

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Speaker 6: a pe week Kerman.

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Speaker 3: Hold wait a minute, then.

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Speaker 5: You just got here. You ain't even been with us

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Speaker 5: that long to be speaking nasty to me.

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Speaker 3: Why what did I do? What do you want to

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Speaker 3: shot at me? They do be coming at you. It's crazy.

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Speaker 4: I'm so I'm so inspiring, I'm so uplifting and all

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Speaker 4: they do is is speak.

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Speaker 5: Speak rude.

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Speaker 3: My direction, shame, shame.

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Speaker 5: I just the best for us. But all right, yeah,

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Speaker 5: play more of this garbage motherfuckers ship pee week.

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Speaker 6: Kerman only bought Dave on the show so he can

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Speaker 6: make more dark skin jokes.

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Speaker 3: Damn.

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Speaker 6: I noticed when the first show first started, you were

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Speaker 6: kind of holding your punches and more defending light skin

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Speaker 6: than making dark skin jokes. But now that that nigga's

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Speaker 6: on the show, boy, you will call him blackie. You're

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Speaker 6: blackie quick. I'm just saying conspiracy, clean, not observation. Definitely

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Speaker 6: love the show so far, fellas, keep up the good

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Speaker 6: work like bitches.

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Speaker 2: What I love is that he said you will call

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Speaker 2: a blackie a blackie. He did say, and that's not true,

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Speaker 2: yet stand up for you.

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Speaker 4: It is like he identified a change and was like,

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Speaker 4: I don't I don't know what's happening, but you changed.

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Speaker 2: It felt like if we let that email or that

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Speaker 2: voicemail going longer, it would have been like, and I'm

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Speaker 2: for it.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, these niggas.

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Speaker 7: Too good, but too long, and somebody's ready to speak up.

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Speaker 7: He ain't even say my name, He just said that nigga,

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Speaker 7: bro he say, Bory, I appreciate your contribution.

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Speaker 4: He truly, he's been listening for two months. One thing

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Speaker 4: he knows is that he can be mean to me.

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Speaker 4: And the other thing he knows is that you've made

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Speaker 4: zero imprint on this podcast. And more importantly, the only

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Speaker 4: real influence you've had is you've become a punching bag

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Speaker 4: for my dark skin jokes.

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Speaker 3: Which is funny because I feel like I go at

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Speaker 3: you for being light skin.

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Speaker 4: All the time I was gonna say, And granted, I

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Speaker 4: know this will be received poorly. It always is, but

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Speaker 4: I definitely think I take way more hits for being

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Speaker 4: light skin than the other way around.

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Speaker 3: I will say hundred percent.

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Speaker 4: Certainly I get my shots in. There's been a few

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Speaker 4: Uga boogers that that I felt pretty good about.

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Speaker 3: You know what it is. I think it's when you

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Speaker 3: get your ear shots in. I don't know what it is.

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Speaker 3: Maybe this is colorism.

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Speaker 2: It does ring louder m, you know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 2: Because I just get my little like well you and

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Speaker 2: be off and then it's like yeah, then.

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Speaker 3: You're just like what about you?

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Speaker 2: You big whip forrilla and the record stopsbody.

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Speaker 5: Hey, and I just a perfect impression of me.

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Speaker 4: I don't know what you've been doing, but you lock

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Speaker 4: the fucking uh as far as impersonating me.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna be honest. I'll listen to

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Speaker 2: a ton of podcasts about comedy. I haven't heard a

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Speaker 2: lot of the prior ones.

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Speaker 3: Were you not? Were you not? Ever? It was it

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Speaker 3: was defensive light skin. That was that was your that

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Speaker 3: was your kind of take.

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Speaker 4: I don't know that I've ever been defending light skin.

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Speaker 4: Let me be clear about my position on light skin.

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Speaker 4: I think that I am born of a curse.

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Speaker 3: I think that.

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Speaker 5: I think that the further I.

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Speaker 4: Get into conspiracy theory, the more I'm not fully convinced

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Speaker 4: racist are supposed to mix. I don't I don't know

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Speaker 4: that this isn't a sin. But I'm grateful to be here.

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Speaker 4: I I love who I am, despite the curse that

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Speaker 4: I'm born of. And that said, I I am not

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Speaker 4: so much a defender of light skin as I am

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Speaker 4: a defender of what I think is often nasty stereotypes

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Speaker 4: about people that that, frankly are are mostly unfounded. So

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Speaker 4: so I think there was a period where I was

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Speaker 4: probably defending the the sort of you know that the

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Speaker 4: stereotypes weren't valid that zaid, I don't. I'm not sitting

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Speaker 4: here being like a light skin champion the way that

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Speaker 4: I think a lot of people want me to be.

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Speaker 2: I think that is maybe just the nature of being

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Speaker 2: light skin. Possibly the people are like, he must be

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean we we talked about this more privately

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Speaker 4: than on the podcast, but people are. People continue to

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Speaker 4: be mad at us for mainly me, for that uh,

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Speaker 4: there are no light skin A lists celebrities. They they

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Speaker 4: continue to be on fire about how absurd that suggestion is.

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Speaker 4: And I still think what's for What's not understood in

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Speaker 4: the comment that I was making is that I'm not

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Speaker 4: asking for more of us. I'm just identifying a difference

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Speaker 4: in the way that we are received in Hollywood.

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Speaker 2: And that's the funny thing, because I am mmmm, I

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Speaker 2: I I I am no, no, no, I'm talking about

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Speaker 2: I am team darks. I I that's what I want.

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Speaker 3: I think Ben Wallace is the greatest basketball player of

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Speaker 3: all time.

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Speaker 5: Okay, well that's not There are plenty of dark skinn

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Speaker 5: dudes you could have went with.

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Speaker 3: And I just love I loved him. It's just that era.

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Speaker 5: He was a fun he was that was a fun

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Speaker 5: team for sure.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: His hair was so crazy, he's so strong, he was scary.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 8: Uh no, that is yeah, because you don't I think

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Speaker 8: if you really, if you were to really tally it up,

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Speaker 8: me being pro dark skin is maybe more than you

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Speaker 8: being pro light skin.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you've never called you a sin?

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Speaker 3: No? No, no, no, no no, quite frankly, I had

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Speaker 3: to take six more.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, no, I'd like to I'd like to stop this

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Speaker 5: where I could wait.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So this is interesting because we have never talked

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Speaker 2: about this, because I don't know how how it happened

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Speaker 2: that I got on here.

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Speaker 3: Were you looking for when you were looking? Because you

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Speaker 3: can't got a woman? Yeah, quite frankly for the career,

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Speaker 3: maybe a better choice.

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Speaker 5: Yeah no, yeah, I probably.

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Speaker 4: I probably thought about very powerful women that that I

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Speaker 4: could have aligned myself with, and quite frankly.

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Speaker 5: They were busy, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 6: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: And uh and then I said, well, okay, well who's

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Speaker 5: the funniest person I know?

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Speaker 4: Okay, women, the women, the funny women I know didn't work,

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Speaker 4: But now who's the just funniest person I know?

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Speaker 5: And your name immediately popped up.

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Speaker 3: It would have been crazy if you had got another

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Speaker 3: light skinned guy.

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Speaker 5: Though that was ultimately a non starter for me.

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Speaker 4: Was was I cannot in my in good faith, I

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Speaker 4: could not run a podcast about black conspiracy theory. And

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Speaker 4: it's me and the now motherfucker that's the same color

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Speaker 4: as me. It just feels like we're not gonna be

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Speaker 4: able to have the full breadth of the conversations, you

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Speaker 4: know what I mean, in a way that helps everybody.

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Speaker 2: But to answer this color ship, Hey, man, my guy's

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Speaker 2: just trying. He'd be getting ganged up on on here, bro.

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Speaker 5: I just I just put my dukes up in swinging.

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Speaker 3: Man. I'm not.

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Speaker 5: These niggas are punching me overhand. I'm still fighting like

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Speaker 5: like the fucking twenties.

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Speaker 3: I'm just trying.

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Speaker 5: I'm just trying my best to survive getting jumped.

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Speaker 3: Baby.

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Speaker 5: I ain't. I ain't bring this man on to make

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Speaker 5: dark skin jokes. But I will continue to do that.

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Speaker 4: And if if that makes you happy, dear listener, then

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Speaker 4: then I'm pleased that you you're here to join us.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's a fair I think that's the

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Speaker 2: fairest takeaway we can have of this. And also, women,

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Speaker 2: no wom email about that one time. It is like,

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Speaker 2: I feel like we have a lot of women.

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Speaker 4: On, but I think we have a ton of women

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Speaker 4: on the podcast, and frankly, I think most of our

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Speaker 4: best episodes are with women.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I don't think either of us is running from consistently

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Speaker 4: having women on. In fact, frankly, it's my preference. Most

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Speaker 4: of the time I feel uncomfortable is with uh, with

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Speaker 4: a bunch of dudes sitting around making weird you know,

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Speaker 4: peepe jokes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what's the most amount of dudes you feel like

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Speaker 2: you can be comfortable around.

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Speaker 5: That's a good question. Uh, it never has.

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Speaker 3: You got single mom tendencies too, Like I got, I

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Speaker 3: got that.

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Speaker 5: So it is prefer women.

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Speaker 4: Dog, I really don't love like being in groups of

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Speaker 4: men like that. I could probably do like up to

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Speaker 4: eight and that's pretty good. And then it's like I

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Speaker 4: can't really you know what I mean. When I was hooping,

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Speaker 4: that was different. When you're like playing sports, it's a

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Speaker 4: little more like you're you are not so much man

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Speaker 4: as you are athlete, joined in you know, sort of

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Speaker 4: a process, but just chilling.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I can't. I can't exceed like five to eight dude. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: like like just like a in a group.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that's true because like the other day, I had

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Speaker 2: like three dudes at my house. We were just on

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Speaker 2: the porch and my girl walked up and I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's about the breath of fresh air we needed.

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Speaker 3: Yeah that's about that's about enough.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, this conversation was thinning out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna start trying to talk about feelings all

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Speaker 2: because it's just like it's like too many men will

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Speaker 2: expose you for having single mom traits.

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Speaker 3: One on one great with men, two three men? I

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Speaker 3: got it. It's like twelve niggas in there.

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Speaker 1: Bro.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Once it starts turning into like competitive male energy, I

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Speaker 4: immediately sink to the back.

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Speaker 3: Yeah I ain't got it.

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Speaker 4: I become beta so fast when it becomes like man

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Speaker 4: competing about how much pussy they ate and how strong

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Speaker 4: they are.

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Speaker 3: It's like, that's how I know that you do because

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Speaker 3: you said how much pussy they ate?

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, it's never even occurred to me that they're

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Speaker 4: not they're not treating those nice ladies the way they

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Speaker 4: deserve to be treating.

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Speaker 2: Well you pussy though, right, But you made her come

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Speaker 2: for sure, you made sure she felt safe afterwards though, Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you got yours, but I'm sure she got hers. Yeah yeah,

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Speaker 2: you texted the next morning, so it's pretty fun. I

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Speaker 2: appreciate that right.

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Speaker 4: Well for the listener, because we need to wrap this

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Speaker 4: thing up. I hope this answer to your question with

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Speaker 4: your black ass, and I hope that you you continue

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Speaker 4: to enjoy what we're putting out. I'm glad you're here.

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Speaker 4: Keep bringing more people on. Two months is crazy. We've

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Speaker 4: been at it for a long time, so it's so

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Speaker 4: nice to know that more people are finding us in

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Speaker 4: discovering and becoming addicted to this bullshit.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I appreciate it.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: Maybe you could say my name next time.

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Speaker 9: Yeah, his name's David. Yeah, maybe just reference it. Bory

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Speaker 9: goes good. I likes nice. But you want to tell

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Speaker 9: the people where they can find you. What cool shit

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Speaker 9: you got going on?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Cool guy jokes eighty seven on in mister Graham Patreon

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Speaker 2: dot comback slash David Borie to buy my special Birth

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Speaker 2: of a Nation with the g Also Dallas. I will

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Speaker 2: be in Dallas April twenty fifth and twenty six. Come

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Speaker 2: out and see me. It's gonna be a good time

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Speaker 2: at the Dallas Comedy Club. I mean, I'm also gonna

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Speaker 2: be at I'm gonna be at the West River Comedy

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Speaker 2: Club in Rapid City, South Dakota this weekend. If people

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Speaker 2: who listen to this are there, I would appreciate that

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Speaker 2: as well. Wes River Baby pull on, come on, heck like,

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Speaker 2: I ain't just getting nominated for a Webby.

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Speaker 4: We on that Webby shit. That's right, we are nominated

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Speaker 4: for a Webby, So please go and vote. I believe

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00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:45,520
Speaker 4: voting is open. You can vote for our episode with

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Speaker 4: Moneue exchange for the Webby Awards. We don't know what

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Speaker 4: happens if we win the Webby Award, but were starting idea.

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Speaker 4: We're not fighting it. If you guys want to make

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Speaker 4: us champions of the Webby East and as the ways,

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Speaker 4: you can follow me at Langston Kerman on all social

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Speaker 4: media platforms.

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Speaker 5: You can come see me live.

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Speaker 4: I'll be at Wise Guys in Salt Lake City April tenth,

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Speaker 4: and then April seventeenth, I'll be at the Wise Guys

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Speaker 4: in Las Vegas. And you can send us your own drops,

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Speaker 4: your own conspiracy theories. You can tell us exactly what

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Speaker 4: the ratio is of dark skinned de light skin chokes

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Speaker 4: on this show at mymamapot at gmail dot com. You

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Speaker 4: can leave us the voicemail at eight four four Little Moms,

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00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:32,399
Speaker 4: and most importantly, you can buy the merch. You can like, subscribe, rate, review,

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Speaker 4: do all the things that help make this show more

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Speaker 4: popular so that my dark skin jokes finally see the

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Speaker 4: light of day they deserve.

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Speaker 5: Do it all in Jesus' name. Bye, bitch, Like teenage girls.

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Speaker 6: When you say teenage how are we talking? MOI?

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Speaker 1: Fucking Mini RUL, miniyr Soul and mini episode, all the

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Speaker 1: fucking mini episode, mini episode and all the fucking mini

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Speaker 1: episode