Speaker 1: Nikki Glazer Podcast.
Speaker 2: Gazer.
Speaker 3: Here's Nikki.
Speaker 4: Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's Nicky
Speaker 4: Glazer Podcast here with the same team as yesterday. It's Noah,
Speaker 4: It's Brian, and it's Sean.
Speaker 5: What's up, guys, I've got a really big team. Wait,
Speaker 5: what's that song? Because theyone know it? It's a great song.
Speaker 5: What hey?
Speaker 4: You sound like a song that sounded like words?
Speaker 6: So I have the questions meeting.
Speaker 5: Is is podcast called podcast because of the iPod? Like
Speaker 5: did they get away? Did Apple get away with like
Speaker 5: craning this entire clean genre? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Or Dumpster?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: You know dumpster is not what it is? No, that's
Speaker 4: like that's a brand name.
Speaker 5: No, it's not.
Speaker 1: I could be wrong, but look it up.
Speaker 4: This this might be so embarrassing, like I had a
Speaker 4: moment this weekend like this. I'll tell you in a second.
Speaker 4: But I do think that Dumpster might be a brand name.
Speaker 5: Dumpster was invented by Harvey Dumpster.
Speaker 1: And wasn't I think it's a brand name.
Speaker 3: Dempster, Dumpster, Dempster brothers in the six trademark to sound
Speaker 3: like it.
Speaker 1: Sound like it?
Speaker 4: Yes, cut Kleenex, Dumpster, band aid, band aid, so they
Speaker 4: call it plasters in England, plasters for a band aid.
Speaker 7: That the Dumpster Brothers is. So I think you shall
Speaker 7: be coded.
Speaker 4: So was Brian saying, I love like, I love my
Speaker 4: whole team. We got a real I love Oh yeah,
Speaker 4: I got a really big team.
Speaker 1: I love my whole team. Actually, I just wanted a.
Speaker 4: Group of people that were all really bad people to
Speaker 4: get together. Like, I just wanted to make a group
Speaker 4: of Really what is that one? You got to watch
Speaker 4: the Tim Robbins skateboard video where he's putting together a
Speaker 4: team of Like, what.
Speaker 1: Is the team?
Speaker 4: I don't even understand what Now I'm thinking back on it,
Speaker 4: I'm like, what team is he forming?
Speaker 1: Just a group of people that skateboard together?
Speaker 6: Yeah, like a skateboarding group.
Speaker 1: He just wants to be.
Speaker 4: A really bad person. He wants people to think he's
Speaker 4: a really bad person. He wants when people leave the room,
Speaker 4: he wants them to say, man.
Speaker 1: That guy is a piece of shit. It just makes
Speaker 1: no sense, but it makes all the sense.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's Drake in future. I've got because I got
Speaker 5: a really big team and they need some really big rings,
Speaker 5: they need some really nice things. Better be coming with
Speaker 5: no strength it's about Drake and Future talking about how
Speaker 5: when they got to deal with the record label, you
Speaker 5: also got to pay the team and everyone needs really
Speaker 5: big rings and why because I just I have a
Speaker 5: big team.
Speaker 4: Okay, speaking of really big rings and buying things for
Speaker 4: your team, I got I got you guys some jewelry
Speaker 4: for the Golden Globes that you both have.
Speaker 6: You did, and it's like, that's really the nicest thing
Speaker 6: I own.
Speaker 5: Now that's what I realize.
Speaker 4: I love giving cool gifts that like elevate someone. I
Speaker 4: got some people on my team that were, you know,
Speaker 4: like the we had like a cool we had a
Speaker 4: bunch of people on the Golden Globes team, but there
Speaker 4: were some you know, members that were the you know,
Speaker 4: that were involved from the beginning to end in like
Speaker 4: a very serious, dedicated way.
Speaker 1: And so Chris and I.
Speaker 4: Got them Rollies Rolexes and Emily sourced them and found them.
Speaker 4: It took forever. They just got them last week or
Speaker 4: like a couple of days ago, and and they're engraved
Speaker 4: and they say Golden Globes twenty twenty five and they're
Speaker 4: really cool.
Speaker 6: Nice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're so cool. Thank you so much.
Speaker 7: I have now I now know to hide my arm
Speaker 7: while like being out on the street.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you are more prone to assault, but it was
Speaker 4: just like a cool thing to do. I just well,
Speaker 4: first week well this weekend, I was able to get
Speaker 4: Shawn his in person, and then later on in the
Speaker 4: night he was wearing it and I was like, well,
Speaker 4: that's a nice watch, Like it caught my eye, so
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, it works. This is really nice.
Speaker 5: That it's a really nice one. I mean, it's ridiculous.
Speaker 5: It's you know, there was that one story with like
Speaker 5: Chris Rock or something. Who there's a story with Chris Rock.
Speaker 5: I think it was for Top five or something, or
Speaker 5: maybe it was a stand up special where he like
Speaker 5: brought in like five comedians like Luis k was one
Speaker 5: of them to help him write for this script or
Speaker 5: for his special or something like that, and then he
Speaker 5: gave them all maybe it was even rolexes or it
Speaker 5: was five thousand dollars. And when I heard that story
Speaker 5: back then, I was like, that's ridiculous. And never in
Speaker 5: a million years would I think that I would be
Speaker 5: in a position to receive something like that for a
Speaker 5: similar reason.
Speaker 4: Oh, you guys definitely deserved it, And yeah, it is
Speaker 4: crazy when you. I was just having that moment today
Speaker 4: when I was like posting about my sold out shows
Speaker 4: in Boston, like six shows at this gigangantic theater that
Speaker 4: is bigger than the theater I was at last year
Speaker 4: in Boston and I only did and I did two
Speaker 4: shows at the wilbur and it was like, WHOA, that's incredible,
Speaker 4: and then it's five shows at this even bigger theater,
Speaker 4: and I was like thinking, oh, I remember when like
Speaker 4: Ali Wong started doing like five shows, two more at it,
Speaker 4: seven shows, eleven shows, like and just being like that
Speaker 4: is awesome for her, and that isn't even something that whatever.
Speaker 4: It wasn't even like it's like the way I think
Speaker 4: about having kids now, I'm just like good for them,
Speaker 4: Like that is literally never gonna happen for me.
Speaker 1: I don't even like I'm not even mad about it,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean.
Speaker 4: Like that's the way I used to think about those
Speaker 4: kind of things. And I want to just say to
Speaker 4: anyone who might look at someone's life and get like jealous,
Speaker 4: or I wasn't even jealous. It was just like out
Speaker 4: of it was just like, well, that's just a different
Speaker 4: kind of comedy that someone's doing, mine's never going to
Speaker 4: be that accessible or I'm never gonna be that beloved
Speaker 4: because I'm not lovable, so that's fine. Like that was
Speaker 4: my reasoning, was like I am not like some people
Speaker 4: like me, but it's never gonna be thousands in one city,
Speaker 4: Like it's just impossible. And it wasn't even like I
Speaker 4: really promise you. I wasn't like sad about it. I
Speaker 4: was just like, yeah, that's just the way it goes.
Speaker 4: Like I think I grappled with this early on when Amy,
Speaker 4: when Amy Schumer like blew up, and you know, we
Speaker 4: had all been kind of like on the same level.
Speaker 4: She was always kind of like skyrocketing ever since I
Speaker 4: met her, But when she reached the levels of like
Speaker 4: train wreck and stuff, I just remember being like, there's
Speaker 4: not even a jealous there's not even anything I can
Speaker 4: let in my body of jealousy or like why her
Speaker 4: not me? Like it's so on a different level that
Speaker 4: like I don't even ca it's like comparing yourself to
Speaker 4: Neil Armstrong, Like it truly felt like I just I'm
Speaker 4: friends with someone who's doing something different than me, even
Speaker 4: though we're in the same field. So having those kinds
Speaker 4: of moments is really cool when they come through and you're.
Speaker 1: Like, oh, whoa, that's me.
Speaker 4: Now, okay, so someone else is looking at my profile
Speaker 4: going well, that'll never be me.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, girl, it could be you don't even
Speaker 1: fucking know. You don't know anything.
Speaker 4: You know, sh someone pretty stupid and give some Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: You're you're not smart and you need to Yeah, you
Speaker 1: need know.
Speaker 5: The rolex is amazing. I don't I've never had a
Speaker 5: nice watch. In fact, for my wedding even I didn't
Speaker 5: even wear a watch because when I bought my suit
Speaker 5: from the suit lady, she said, because I wear that
Speaker 5: like Cassio watch all the time, and she said, if
Speaker 5: you wear that watch while wearing this suit, I'm not
Speaker 5: going to give you the suit. And so I didn't
Speaker 5: wear a watch at all. And I would have borne
Speaker 5: this rolex for sure if I hadn't at the time.
Speaker 6: Now you could get like really married.
Speaker 1: Yeah you need to get to and remarried. I think
Speaker 1: that's what this calls for, truly.
Speaker 5: But yeah, I mean it's amazing. I can't wait to
Speaker 5: wear it at the next Golden Globe.
Speaker 7: Yeah, Like I was wearing it with like a hoodie
Speaker 7: and I felt like, you know, like, oh my god,
Speaker 7: I'm like a tech billionaire. This is incredible, Like, look
Speaker 7: at how dressed down I am.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it does make frue. It's fun. It was really fun.
Speaker 4: I'm I'm not saying that to I'm just was like
Speaker 4: excited about this weekend. I just like, it's really fun
Speaker 4: to give gifts. Do you guys like getting gifts or
Speaker 4: giving gifts more? And well, like, I know it sounds
Speaker 4: like I'm a hero or something because I'm like, I
Speaker 4: just like giving, but I think getting gifts can be
Speaker 4: truly uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: And you also had a reason to give it, right,
Speaker 3: Like it wasn't kind of you want to like put
Speaker 3: on the spot, and it was like, you know, like
Speaker 3: a reward.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: They were just like living one more year like their birthday,
Speaker 4: you know, like bright To me, it's just like, sorry, that's.
Speaker 1: Not like good enough.
Speaker 4: It's like because you like are like you you deserve
Speaker 4: you worked so hard.
Speaker 5: Yeah, a gift as a work reward is like I
Speaker 5: think one of the best types of gifts.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I agree, Like it was like, oh my god,
Speaker 7: like we went above and beyond.
Speaker 1: This is amazing.
Speaker 4: Well, I got a work gift today too, oddly enough
Speaker 4: from another person.
Speaker 1: I gave this same gift to uh.
Speaker 4: He sent this before he even got his, But my
Speaker 4: gibbons are uh.
Speaker 1: Our head writer on on the the Globes.
Speaker 4: He sent Chris and I the Stanley Tucci like I
Speaker 4: think the New Yorker did a Stanley Tucci cartoon.
Speaker 1: You know, of like the cologne.
Speaker 4: Maybe it was the magazine, but he had that framed
Speaker 4: and sent to us. Ah, like the cologne, which was
Speaker 4: called what was it called again?
Speaker 1: Why am I drawing a blank?
Speaker 4: Oh? Uh?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 4: You know? It was actually ballroom Salmon, which was let
Speaker 4: me say, Seth Myers joke. Who gave Seth Myers gave
Speaker 4: us that line of ballroom Salmon because he had been
Speaker 4: maybe flirting with doing another bit with us, and he
Speaker 4: had just written that or texted it or something, and
Speaker 4: we all left at ballroom Salmon and I wrote him
Speaker 4: and I said, hey, we're not doing that bit where
Speaker 4: you riffed that, but can we use ballroom salmon somewhere else?
Speaker 4: And he was like, go, go for it. He's so funny.
Speaker 4: So that's kind of how things get made sometimes.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's the process. Remember how we were talking about
Speaker 5: that yesterday?
Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, so sorry, Okay, so it's from the eastern
Speaker 4: tip of Italy where this type of joke writing comes from,
Speaker 4: and we used a little bit of Fort Lauderdale flare,
Speaker 4: like I'm sorry. That's what that bothered me was that
Speaker 4: the dish that was being made was like they said,
Speaker 4: it was like from a part of Italy or whatever,
Speaker 4: or from you know, like a part of Turkey or something,
Speaker 4: and like the region that I've never heard of.
Speaker 1: And then they go, but we used a little local.
Speaker 4: Flare with it, and it's like, well you fort Lauderdale,
Speaker 4: Like yeah, that's what's the opposite of elevates the dish.
Speaker 7: You have to use the word local when it's about
Speaker 7: Fort Lauderdale.
Speaker 1: I can't say yeah, I yeah.
Speaker 4: The homicide SPF of forty five, it just it was
Speaker 4: I'm still I'm still feeling regretful that I'm making fun
Speaker 4: of that, because I think some people do care.
Speaker 1: But I also saying this weekend.
Speaker 4: It's almost like a hack meme at this point, to
Speaker 4: make fun of the paragraphs of writing that comes before
Speaker 4: a recipe when you find it online, no one reads it.
Speaker 3: Why does presses jump to the recipe? Which I learned
Speaker 3: from Julie Glazer. By the way, really, I didn't realize
Speaker 3: that there was a tab that says jump to the recipe.
Speaker 3: You could skip all of it pretty fast until I
Speaker 3: talk to your mom and she's like.
Speaker 4: I wish there was a tab on a waiter's head
Speaker 4: to skip to bringing this to me, skip to putting
Speaker 4: it down and leaving. Also, here's another pave of restaurants.
Speaker 4: What a fucking bitch, I am. I'm so sorry you
Speaker 4: work in the restaurant industry and you're like, we're trying
Speaker 4: our best and these are actual things we have to
Speaker 4: do unless or we'll get docked pay or written up.
Speaker 1: Because I know some places are so dumb.
Speaker 4: But okay, so if you're ordering a bunch of dishes
Speaker 4: at a restaurant and they come over and like, why
Speaker 4: is it that they never know where? Okay, this is
Speaker 4: I'm gonna get so much push back because people are
Speaker 4: gonna be like, we have enough to remember we why
Speaker 4: does the persons bring them never know where they're going?
Speaker 4: And they always and this is this is also a
Speaker 4: problem I have with people I'm dining with. Everyone always
Speaker 4: kind of doesn't know what they ordered, and I can
Speaker 4: see my plate, I can tell it from beneath my plate,
Speaker 4: the weight of it, what it is, and I go
Speaker 4: me right away. But sometimes they'll be like the enchilada,
Speaker 4: the chicken enchiladas, and everyone will look at each other
Speaker 4: like a murder mystery, like who done? It's five seconds,
Speaker 4: which is too bunch of silence, until someone's like, I
Speaker 4: guess that's mine, and it's like you just ordered, are
Speaker 4: you're not hungry and thinking about this like put it
Speaker 4: and then they.
Speaker 1: Put set it down.
Speaker 4: And sometimes I just wish they just set it all
Speaker 4: down and then let us all kind of distribute it
Speaker 4: because the hovering and the questioning just slows things down.
Speaker 5: Mm hmm.
Speaker 7: I will say, I know, I think about this quite
Speaker 7: often because I always try to give like a pause
Speaker 7: in that moment because I feel like I'm just fat
Speaker 7: enough where I can't be so excited to be like
Speaker 7: that was fine.
Speaker 4: Okay, So you're fat enough that like you don't want
Speaker 4: to be the guy who jumps the gun on like
Speaker 4: hearing any foods, and then everyone at the table's like, wow,
Speaker 4: Sean's so fatty, just like every dishes.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we have the bacon cheese.
Speaker 4: That's fine, that's so adorable because it you know, that
Speaker 4: is a really good point. I have to factor in
Speaker 4: that people are like cautious of how they might be
Speaker 4: perceived in different circumstances, Like that is a very interesting
Speaker 4: detail of your personality that I did not think about.
Speaker 4: But I also have that with different things where I'm like,
Speaker 4: everyone assumes I'm like this, so I can't. You know,
Speaker 4: it's the karaoke place where they kept putting in my
Speaker 4: comedy bits in the title of the person's I felt
Speaker 4: so narcissistic.
Speaker 1: Thinking that was me.
Speaker 4: But I will say the other thing I feel this
Speaker 4: weekend so hard and I was so embarrassed, but then
Speaker 4: I redeemed myself was we were driving, like you know,
Speaker 4: like how I always have like, well, actually fun fact
Speaker 4: dumpster is a brand name, and then everyone goes.
Speaker 1: No, it's not, and I go check it, Yes it is.
Speaker 4: And I just like school everyone because I read something
Speaker 4: late at night on Reddit that I retained for once
Speaker 4: in my life, and I like stake my whole identity
Speaker 4: on these little factoids. But so I had one this
Speaker 4: weekend that was like we were talking about the Nike logo. No,
Speaker 4: we were talking about forget where we were talking about
Speaker 4: Larry Bird or something like a white guy in the NBA,
Speaker 4: and I was like, oh, you know, the Nike logo
Speaker 4: is like, not Jordan, It's like some random white guy
Speaker 4: from the eighties. And everyone was like like quietly but
Speaker 4: like they they were all like, we're not gonna like
Speaker 4: tell her she's wrong because we're scared of her. But
Speaker 4: that's not right. And then someone finally was like, I
Speaker 4: think it's Michael Jordan. I'm like, no, it's actually someone
Speaker 4: a white guy from the eighties, and everyone's like no,
Speaker 4: and then everyone looks it up and it's like very clear,
Speaker 4: and then I look it up a I'm like, shit,
Speaker 4: it's Jordan.
Speaker 1: What am I getting this from? What is this?
Speaker 4: And then I was like, you guys, I swear to God,
Speaker 4: there is some logo that everyone thinks it is Jordan
Speaker 4: and is not, I promise you. And it turns out
Speaker 4: it's the NBA logo. So I was redeemed.
Speaker 1: Thank fucking god. Jerry West. It's Jerry West and he's
Speaker 1: not a random handler. But the NBA.
Speaker 4: Logo is like a guy like dribbling and he's kind
Speaker 4: of like, you know, he's not the it's not the
Speaker 4: dunk Jordan.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but this the swoosh. The swoosh is actually.
Speaker 4: Uh, it's a white guy's canoe, and everyone thinks it's
Speaker 4: the swoosh is just a swoosh.
Speaker 1: No, no, it's a canoe. The swoosh is an Indian
Speaker 1: sign of peace. But yeah, I got I the.
Speaker 5: Reason similarly, the reason why I don't announce that that's
Speaker 5: my dishes because I don't want to be wrong because
Speaker 5: sometimes they come out and they say something that you
Speaker 5: didn't that wasn't on the menu, like if you ordered like.
Speaker 1: Or they call it the official name.
Speaker 5: Exactly, and you know, I ordered a you know, like
Speaker 5: a French onion soup. And then they come out and
Speaker 5: they say, did someone order like the onion paste?
Speaker 7: And I have to wait, yeah, yeah, like if you
Speaker 7: if they're like nacho ordinary nachos, you're like, but I
Speaker 7: think I ordered ordinary nachos, so you get like.
Speaker 4: Right, That is just a weird moment where everyone is
Speaker 4: just kind of looking at each other like did is
Speaker 4: it you? Like I just and then they're kind of
Speaker 4: everyone's kind of like scared to speak up about Like
Speaker 4: I just start clocking it because I think it happens
Speaker 4: to everyone where everyone's a little bit nervous but maybe
Speaker 4: it's because we all don't want to see seem over
Speaker 4: eager and fat like gimmy, gimmy, feel like anything.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I often think like when food hasn't come out
Speaker 7: in a really long time and you're like waiting at
Speaker 7: the table for a really long time, I'm like, I
Speaker 7: really have done the math on this that, like I
Speaker 7: can't ask where the food is wait, wait, like I.
Speaker 1: Because you're too fat to ask.
Speaker 7: Yeah, like, oh, this guy thinks he's starving to death.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Okay.
Speaker 4: I will say similarly, when I was super thin, I
Speaker 4: would I could never say I didn't want to eat anything,
Speaker 4: because I would think that everyone thought I was being anorexic.
Speaker 4: So like I would always have to eat anything that
Speaker 4: anyone ever gave me because I would always fear that
Speaker 4: they would be like, she's just like being sneaky and weird,
Speaker 4: and then they would.
Speaker 1: Judge me and talk about me behind my back.
Speaker 4: So I would always like overeat in front of people
Speaker 4: to prove the opposite. So it's really it's a similar thing.
Speaker 4: It's like you're just trying to get ahead of what
Speaker 4: people are going to say. But I would never in
Speaker 4: a million years if you were checking on food be like, man,
Speaker 4: he's so fat he can't eat well.
Speaker 7: I'm also I'm not worried about like the babe amount
Speaker 7: of table with I'm worried about like the waiter being like,
Speaker 7: here's a fat guy that.
Speaker 1: They just start like roasting my ass behind my back.
Speaker 7: I'm so worried about what people think about me behind
Speaker 7: my back that I don't care what they say to
Speaker 7: me to my Okay.
Speaker 4: Do you want to know though, Like if you could
Speaker 4: have a recording of like the cook the waiters talking
Speaker 4: to the chef about you, if you knew what happened,
Speaker 4: would you want to hear it?
Speaker 1: I don't think so that.
Speaker 6: It's like my worst and my worst fear is like
Speaker 6: confirs God, yeah.
Speaker 1: Okay, got let's go to break it.
Speaker 4: I'm going to tell you a thing I told everyone
Speaker 4: this weekend that I want to just get your I
Speaker 4: went Brian and know it away in on what.
Speaker 1: You think about this and how you would handle.
Speaker 7: This after this?
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: So speaking to the fact of like Sean saying he
Speaker 4: wouldn't want to hear He's like kind of concerned what
Speaker 4: people are saying behind his back, wants to control it,
Speaker 4: doesn't want to actually know the details. We were talking
Speaker 4: this weekend about if you were to accidentally send when
Speaker 4: you're talking shit about.
Speaker 1: Someone a text to the person you're talking shit about. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we've all.
Speaker 4: Almost done it, or we've all done it right, Like
Speaker 4: you're saying the person's name and you then that you
Speaker 4: just are thinking the name, so you write it to them.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay. So I made a promise to my team
Speaker 1: this weekend.
Speaker 4: That if they ever accidentally send me and I'll send
Speaker 4: this to Noah and Brian as well literally anyone listening,
Speaker 4: literally anyone, if you ever that has my number, if
Speaker 4: you send me a text that is talking shit about
Speaker 4: me and it's supposed to be about me to someone else,
Speaker 4: if you just write oh my god, oh my god,
Speaker 4: and fill up the screen so that I can't see it,
Speaker 4: you know, and then write Nikki, I'm so sorry I
Speaker 4: just sent the wrong text to the wrong person. I
Speaker 4: will not scroll up and read it. I promise you
Speaker 4: one thousand percent. In fact, I will blur my eyes,
Speaker 4: I will click more, I will select all the texts
Speaker 4: and I will delete them so that you and I
Speaker 4: promise you, I will not read it because I don't
Speaker 4: want to know what people are saying about me behind
Speaker 4: my back?
Speaker 1: What do you think of that?
Speaker 4: And do you think I'm I know in my heart
Speaker 4: that I'm one hundred percent sure that this is true
Speaker 4: because I don't want to know what people are saying
Speaker 4: about me.
Speaker 1: But could would you guys do the same?
Speaker 5: I mean, it would be if the person knew the
Speaker 5: thing and was going to send me a bunch of
Speaker 5: texts afterwards and tell me not to read it.
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know right away they realized I'm
Speaker 4: talking to Brian, and then they go, oh my god,
Speaker 4: Oh my god, and they just write like you knowxxxxxx,
Speaker 4: and they like send it up so it scrolled up
Speaker 4: right so it's hidden. Yeah, And then below the exes
Speaker 4: they write, hey, Brian, I accidentally sent you a text
Speaker 4: that was meant for someone else. Please don't read it
Speaker 4: it would I really appreciate it?
Speaker 1: Would you read it?
Speaker 7: Well?
Speaker 5: Are they saying please don't read it because it's like
Speaker 5: shit talking to me? Or they saying please don't read
Speaker 5: it because it's like private for doesn't matter.
Speaker 4: I mean you can assumes they're not gonna say I
Speaker 4: was shit talking yet they're just gonna say please don't
Speaker 4: read it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I would okay, I if it was shit talking
Speaker 5: to me, I would be like, why don't you just
Speaker 5: tell me this? I would be mad that they weren't
Speaker 5: telling me. The thing that's bothering them to my carid.
Speaker 1: This is do you not talk shit about people?
Speaker 6: Brian?
Speaker 5: I'm no. I mean I've talked shit to you about
Speaker 5: many people before, I know, but creatively, you know, I
Speaker 5: only talk shit about like people in a creative sense.
Speaker 5: Like if someone does something creatively horrible, yeah, I can't
Speaker 5: help but say how horrible it is and how they
Speaker 5: don't deserve to live.
Speaker 4: Right, So you would probably say that to that person's
Speaker 4: face too, because don't you understand the idea of like, like,
Speaker 4: someone might not want to say it to your face.
Speaker 5: Would I say it to their face? No, I wouldn't
Speaker 5: say it to their face.
Speaker 1: Problem, But your response is why don't you say this
Speaker 1: to me?
Speaker 5: If they're my friend, they have my number, you know,
Speaker 5: and they're texting your number.
Speaker 7: You know.
Speaker 5: It really pissed me off that Brian keeps canceling plans
Speaker 5: five minutes before the play or whatever. I'm like, you
Speaker 5: need to tell me this so that I understand the problem.
Speaker 5: I try to make it better Oh.
Speaker 1: See, that's not that's healthy.
Speaker 6: That's very healthy.
Speaker 7: See me, I'm too not I know, I'm too nosy,
Speaker 7: Like I would want to know what they say, and
Speaker 7: then I would never confront them about it. What I
Speaker 7: would do is I would really just like hold on
Speaker 7: to it forever and just think about, this is what
Speaker 7: this person really thinks about me.
Speaker 1: Oh boy.
Speaker 7: Yeah, but I've also gotten into trouble with this in
Speaker 7: the past, so.
Speaker 1: I know that's a funny one can specifics. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 7: My friend broke up with his girlfriend once, like he's
Speaker 7: like an old girlfriend, and he text message me saying
Speaker 7: they broke up and he's like, hey, don't tell anyone
Speaker 7: about this. And then I immediately was text messaging my
Speaker 7: roommate to tell about it, and I was like, Blake
Speaker 7: broke up with his girlfriend, but I just texted it
Speaker 7: to him like.
Speaker 5: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: He said, don't tell anyone, Oh my god.
Speaker 4: And then Sean tried to make it seem like it
Speaker 4: was a joke because it was so obvious, like right after.
Speaker 1: I was like, no, we know, you're not joking.
Speaker 7: Like I really tried to play it off like where
Speaker 7: it's like there's no such thing as stupid questions like question,
Speaker 7: is there such thing?
Speaker 6: A stupid question?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yep, yeah yeah, Oh it could have maybe worked.
Speaker 4: It's nice try Oh that's rough. That's so rough.
Speaker 7: So I'm very selective with do I talk shit about overtext?
Speaker 7: There's like five people none are on this.
Speaker 6: Uh on this.
Speaker 5: You don't want, you don't want. If you're talking shit,
Speaker 5: it's best to talk about shit in person because you
Speaker 5: don't want there to be a written record on the
Speaker 5: off chance that somehow they get your cell phone and
Speaker 5: they search your texts they find it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but that is like then that friend sucks if
Speaker 4: they're like searching through your phone looking for their name,
Speaker 4: Like fuck you, Like that's so lame, Like you deserve.
Speaker 1: To hear shit talk about you. But also like I
Speaker 1: just think, who was it that?
Speaker 4: Oh, Alisa Treger on her special just had a thing
Speaker 4: about like I think everyone should just talk like talking
Speaker 4: shit is fun, and like, I guess I don't think
Speaker 4: she made this point, but maybe she did. I just
Speaker 4: feel like, if I'm allowed to talk shit, then people
Speaker 4: should be allowed to talk shit about me. I like
Speaker 4: expect it. I would be sad if you guys didn't
Speaker 4: it wouldn't it wouldn't, like, really, Sean, if you didn't
Speaker 4: talk about me, it would not go with your personality.
Speaker 1: You like have to like it, just.
Speaker 6: I really don't.
Speaker 1: You don't like I'm protecting myself being like he doesn't.
Speaker 4: But if you found out you did, it would not
Speaker 4: bother me because like I I would, I'm so weird.
Speaker 4: Eighth grade, I found a note that like, I think
Speaker 4: one of us was like sharing our old notes or
Speaker 4: something like you know, we're going through in eighth grade.
Speaker 4: We would always write each other notes, so we'd always
Speaker 4: save them. And I was going through like Kirsten's notes
Speaker 4: from Halla or whatever, and they were all talking shit
Speaker 4: about me wearing makeup for the first time and how
Speaker 4: I thought I was so cool and like how I
Speaker 4: wore too much and I didn't even wear it right
Speaker 4: and it was a devastating And I remember them like
Speaker 4: seeing that I saw it, and then and then I
Speaker 4: had to protect them. Do you ever do that where
Speaker 4: you like get mad about something and then you have
Speaker 4: to protect the person you're mad at.
Speaker 5: There's this video of this man uh and it was
Speaker 5: like in the fifties or the sixties, and it was
Speaker 5: being recorded and it was in Congress and this guy,
Speaker 5: this congressman, takes out a gun and he killed and
Speaker 5: shoots himself in the head, and it's it's all on film,
Speaker 5: and you can wait an tell you.
Speaker 6: About our Bud Dwyer.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know about Bud Dwyer, Bud Dwire, but I
Speaker 4: probably reference Budwyer every week.
Speaker 5: So Budd, so, right before he kills himself, everyone is like,
Speaker 5: oh my god, stop and he goes and he goes, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 5: it's okay, it's okay, Bop, and then he shoots himself. Yeah,
Speaker 5: it's so it's the equivalent of him, like if it's
Speaker 5: like him protecting them from thinking that this is bad,
Speaker 5: feeling bad about him shooting himself in the head. I
Speaker 5: think about he goes, no, no, no, no, it's okay, it's okay, Bop.
Speaker 1: No, it's not I'm not going to hurt you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, right exactly. It's almost like he's saying, I'm not
Speaker 5: I'm not shooting you guys, I'm shooting myself. It's fine.
Speaker 1: But little does he know. It's like devastating to watch that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah it is.
Speaker 7: I mean it's something that I'll never forget. Where I
Speaker 7: was seeing that video for the first time because the
Speaker 7: first time I ever saw like somebody like act or
Speaker 7: like maybe the only time I realized.
Speaker 1: That I don't think I've ever seen anyone die.
Speaker 5: People die. I hate those videos off the internet.
Speaker 7: And the first I showed me was laughing the entire
Speaker 7: time because he, oh dear, he told me he was
Speaker 7: going to show me the funniest fail and then show
Speaker 7: me that, and I it like traumatized me.
Speaker 6: McDonald who did this.
Speaker 7: Like it's offense to be like, this is the funniest
Speaker 7: fail you'll ever see.
Speaker 4: And then it was no, dude, don't ever Bessie's don't
Speaker 4: watch the video.
Speaker 1: It's not worth it. It's not gonna like be interesting enough.
Speaker 5: It'll just traumatize you. And that's stuck in your head forever,
Speaker 5: and really, God six with you.
Speaker 4: How many Reddit threads have I seen of ask reddit
Speaker 4: where it's like, what's the most disturbing thing you've ever seen?
Speaker 1: On Reddit?
Speaker 4: I love reading about them, and Bud Dwyer comes up
Speaker 4: quite often, but there are so many more, like teen
Speaker 4: boys see the craziest shit, you know, like Faces of Death,
Speaker 4: that that compilation that used to go around, Like there
Speaker 4: are I've heard the most I.
Speaker 1: Can't even know how these people are functioning.
Speaker 4: I really think people have PTSD from stuff that they
Speaker 4: have watched on the internet without question. If you watch,
Speaker 4: like a beheading video that was used to be going around.
Speaker 7: Uh huh yeah, police, come on, will I refuse to
Speaker 7: do that?
Speaker 1: And I am like, I think, yes, it's.
Speaker 6: Just fucking you up.
Speaker 7: You are getting PTSD And then you watch I think
Speaker 7: that life is like cheap and meaningless, and then you
Speaker 7: get like these like real yeah, desensitize.
Speaker 6: Like I have a friend who.
Speaker 7: Is addicted to porn, who I think, uh, you guys,
Speaker 7: some of you know, but when.
Speaker 1: You only know myself that well, but okay.
Speaker 7: He was trying to uh you know, uh quit his
Speaker 7: porn habit, so he started watching isis beheading videos so
Speaker 7: he wouldn't get horny anymore.
Speaker 5: It's twisted logic I've ever heard.
Speaker 1: I don't even understand.
Speaker 4: Like in so when he was like horny, he would
Speaker 4: like ruin his boner by watching beheading videos.
Speaker 1: Yeah, which this person is off air.
Speaker 4: That is truly insane and that person I feel so
Speaker 4: sad for that.
Speaker 5: And now all he's doing is getting horny to the
Speaker 5: beheading video exactly.
Speaker 7: I would be so worried about rewiring my brain.
Speaker 5: Yeah, totally.
Speaker 4: I mean I used to when Chris and I would,
Speaker 4: you know, do hanky panky. We used to shut the
Speaker 4: dogs out of the door, like out of the room,
Speaker 4: and they would scratch on the door during it, and
Speaker 4: I started to Pavlov's dogs. The scratching of dogs on
Speaker 4: a door would like make me a little bit morning, yeah,
Speaker 4: because it would remind me of the feeling I was
Speaker 4: feeling during that. It was starting to like those were combining.
Speaker 4: You can't fuck with you can't fuck with your No.
Speaker 5: You can retrain your brain. It's just like practicing.
Speaker 1: Don't put something with that, yees.
Speaker 5: It's like anything you can do that with literally anything
Speaker 5: Like I I was in an MRI last month or
Speaker 5: two months ago, no long time ago, actually eight months ago, whoa,
Speaker 5: and I freaked out and the MRI I couldn't handle
Speaker 5: it and I had to get out and I had
Speaker 5: like a panic attack. And then I somehow in my
Speaker 5: brain that anxiety I felt I connected with the crown
Speaker 5: that I got put into my mouth on my my tooth, crown,
Speaker 5: and so every time I touched the crown on my tooth,
Speaker 5: I felt the anxiety of being in the MRI.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And so I have to get the crown removed.
Speaker 5: And it's been gone for many months and now I
Speaker 5: think I'm like over it.
Speaker 4: But but because the crown was like contributing to the
Speaker 4: pain that you were getting checked onto the.
Speaker 5: R No, the MRI was from my gallbladder. But the
Speaker 5: crown was just a a moment of anxiety.
Speaker 7: And I was you were you were touching it with
Speaker 7: your tongue, probably right.
Speaker 5: Maybe, because like I would touch it with my tongue
Speaker 5: and then I would and then I would feel a
Speaker 5: little bit of anxiety, and then I would think about
Speaker 5: the MRI. And if you do that enough times, and
Speaker 5: if you get scared, and then and I was like,
Speaker 5: oh my god, I hope I don't connect this, and
Speaker 5: now you get a little scared, then I focus on it.
Speaker 5: If you do it enough times, then all of a sudden,
Speaker 5: it's automatic, and every time you touch the tongue, you're
Speaker 5: back in the MRI. And you could do that with anything.
Speaker 5: You could also do that with positive things. You could
Speaker 5: train your brain to do something good for yourself. But
Speaker 5: most of the time you're driven by fear and you
Speaker 5: can't let go of the fear and so then you
Speaker 5: wind up connecting things stronger because of that.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's right anyway.
Speaker 5: So the point is that's why I get horny every
Speaker 5: time I'm in an MRI machine.
Speaker 4: I would not I would not recommend watching disturbing videos.
Speaker 4: I don't understand when people want to click those things.
Speaker 4: I want to read all about them, and I want
Speaker 4: to read every little detail about what happens.
Speaker 5: When I was growing up anything, I was traumatized by
Speaker 5: The Ring the movie. Yeah, and that's the way it
Speaker 5: should be. It should be a movie about a demon
Speaker 5: coming out of a TV, and then every time you
Speaker 5: see the snow on TV, the static, you freak out,
Speaker 5: and like, that's healthy amount of trauma.
Speaker 6: That's the amount of trauma.
Speaker 7: That you should introduce into your lives thirteen years old
Speaker 7: or twelve. Like, I don't think it's I really I
Speaker 7: don't really like horror movies, but I really hate like
Speaker 7: when you talk to somebody who really does and they
Speaker 7: just keep going deeper and deeper to the point where
Speaker 7: they're like watching like Stalo, like the this like Italian
Speaker 7: movie that like is that.
Speaker 1: The one with the tunnel where the rapes.
Speaker 7: Yeah, and it's like like I have like several friends
Speaker 7: you like love this movie, and I'm like, no, I
Speaker 7: will never watch dude.
Speaker 1: I've read about that movie so much.
Speaker 4: I don't know if it's exactly is that the one
Speaker 4: that is there a tunnel in rapes in it?
Speaker 6: Yeah, there's a tunnel in rapes.
Speaker 7: And then there's like, you know, like there's like one
Speaker 7: hundred and twenty boys that are.
Speaker 4: Like yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, Like sometimes you read these
Speaker 4: Wikipedia synopsises for these movies and it does it's so
Speaker 4: fucking insane. You can't believe. I just can't believe something
Speaker 4: like that got made. Yet I can't say, like like
Speaker 4: that some of the jokes that get censored from us
Speaker 4: on TV, Like it's just like how do these both
Speaker 4: coexist in the same right, like whorld? I just don't
Speaker 4: even understand it. And then porn, let's like porn is
Speaker 4: just I mean, I think I'm probably traumatized by some
Speaker 4: of the stuff I've seen in.
Speaker 5: Porn or porn certainly desensitizes you to sexual activities.
Speaker 4: And mine I have to when I'm watching porn, I
Speaker 4: have to put in even if I'm alone, I have
Speaker 4: to put in my ear air pods. I cannot listen
Speaker 4: to it, like it has to be this like thing
Speaker 4: I do.
Speaker 1: That's so.
Speaker 4: My door is locked on my bedroom, which my bedroom
Speaker 4: door is always locked. I don't understand anyone who has
Speaker 4: a home and you go to sleep at night and
Speaker 4: you don't lock your bedroom door. Let's just like walk
Speaker 4: through this for a second. If there's a home invasion,
Speaker 4: you have one more level of security. Always lock your
Speaker 4: bedroom door.
Speaker 1: I don't even have a lock on my I bet
Speaker 1: you do. There's no lock. Really no, it's just a
Speaker 1: pure one.
Speaker 7: This is interesting because now you're giving me anxiety about this.
Speaker 7: I am always worried about home invasions. Uh, that is
Speaker 7: like the thing I'm most worried about. But you have
Speaker 7: a sign I'm worried about fires, and in my head,
Speaker 7: I'm like, I worry that like something's gonna burn. And
Speaker 7: then I'm not going to be like I don't want
Speaker 7: to touch the hot handle.
Speaker 6: Yeah, oh, do the door open. I sleep with the
Speaker 6: door open.
Speaker 4: Here's a sun that needs to like maybe get it.
Speaker 7: I get the bedroom, the bedroom door, I mean every
Speaker 7: other door is locked, and I.
Speaker 5: Leave the front door open and just you know, I
Speaker 5: closed I locked the bedroom door, leave the front door open.
Speaker 4: Well, if you're a single person or like you don't
Speaker 4: have kids, lock that bedroom door, give yourself an extra.
Speaker 1: And I would go.
Speaker 4: So you're I worry about fires too, and I've never
Speaker 4: done this, but I.
Speaker 1: I want to get for my fire escape a ladder.
Speaker 1: M Oh, that's smart. Isn't it like a built in
Speaker 1: left for the fire escape. No, sorry, it's not a
Speaker 1: fire escape. It's just a balcony.
Speaker 5: Oh okay, okay, so that would make that makes much Yeah.
Speaker 1: That would make no sense to add another.
Speaker 5: Ladder so that if I have a home invasion, then
Speaker 5: they can climb down to I.
Speaker 1: Just like a cloth ladder. And I don't want to
Speaker 1: get rust on my hands.
Speaker 4: But okay, so porn though, I have to have door
Speaker 4: locked air pods in. Oh, I definitely need it to
Speaker 4: be like I put my phone on do not Disturb
Speaker 4: and oh, I'm giving away too much now, Emily, when
Speaker 4: she sees like do not Disturb was on, she's gonna
Speaker 4: think I'm like whacking off. But I put it on
Speaker 4: do not Deserve for a lot of reasons, mainly that though.
Speaker 1: And then and then.
Speaker 4: I have to close out like it has to be
Speaker 4: I feel like it's weird though, with the AirPods, even
Speaker 4: when I'm like there's no one that could hear it,
Speaker 4: I'm home alone.
Speaker 1: Why I need to do that? But I think it's
Speaker 1: because I need to keep it.
Speaker 4: In my brain and it can't be like it's too
Speaker 4: it's too fucked up for anyone to accidentally hear. Not
Speaker 4: because they're gonna judge me, but because I don't want
Speaker 4: to scar anyone like through a wall.
Speaker 1: I really, I don't know what's wrong with me, but
Speaker 1: it's just like a seat.
Speaker 4: But I also don't have like private certain you know,
Speaker 4: like I don't go to like a private window.
Speaker 8: I'm just like incognito mode.
Speaker 4: No, I don't care, like what am I gonna do.
Speaker 4: I just it's who's going to catch me? And if
Speaker 4: they do, I'll just like laugh about it. But I
Speaker 4: don't want to like actively harm anyone with it and then.
Speaker 6: Saving your cookies so they know what you want.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, the porn when you're in privacy mode, they
Speaker 4: don't like learn about what you want or curate it.
Speaker 1: They definitely do.
Speaker 5: Incognito mode is a bunch of horseship.
Speaker 4: It really is, because there it's still like the address
Speaker 4: that's that is what they're looking at, masking that they
Speaker 4: know exactly where you are. And do you know that
Speaker 4: like company are like changing the prices of items based
Speaker 4: on like the cookies they learn about you. Like if
Speaker 4: they just know that you're willing to pay five dollars
Speaker 4: more for a jacket, it should be. But guess what,
Speaker 4: it's probably no one's regulating this stuff anymore.
Speaker 1: So Uber rides.
Speaker 4: I mean I have been getting gouged with Uber because
Speaker 4: they just know I'll just do it, you know, Like
Speaker 4: I am kind of like, oh, whatever, it's eighty nine
Speaker 4: bucks like that. A friend will open app it's forty
Speaker 4: nine bucks for the same ride, like I So I've
Speaker 4: been going to Lift a lot because I feel like
Speaker 4: Lift like kind of stays true to the price, and
Speaker 4: they will often be twenty to thirty dollars less for
Speaker 4: a ride than Uber.
Speaker 5: Uber just fox me now, yeah, well so swech Yeah,
Speaker 5: keep switching. That's the only way you can fight against
Speaker 5: corporations is through pure capitalism. You had a vote with your.
Speaker 4: Dollar, okay, So that just means you have to like
Speaker 4: just make sure that your prices to always go.
Speaker 5: Oh you have to check if you have to price compare,
Speaker 5: which is so annoying and it's such like a boomer
Speaker 5: thing to do, but like, you have to do that.
Speaker 5: That's why. Remember when you're like, parents would clip coupons
Speaker 5: and they'd be like, I'm saving ten cents, and you'd
Speaker 5: be like, God, who gives a shit. And you're going
Speaker 5: through all this effort to clip coupons just to save
Speaker 5: ten fucking cents and a can of soup. But really,
Speaker 5: the people are the greater good. Yes, they were standing
Speaker 5: between us and corporate greet.
Speaker 7: Okay, wow, interesting. I always just like I always chuck
Speaker 7: it up in my head, being like time is money.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I think too.
Speaker 5: Yeah, well, or my dad every time my dad probably
Speaker 5: a lot of people's parents do this. They they clock
Speaker 5: every single gas station price in town, and they drive
Speaker 5: by the go, oh my god, that's ten cents cheaper.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, that's twenty cents cheaper. And then you
Speaker 5: get the twenty cent cheaper one. And then you drive
Speaker 5: five more miles and you say, oh no, that was
Speaker 5: a dollar cheaper. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Speaker 1: Why did not? Wait?
Speaker 4: I have an electric car, so I don't go to
Speaker 4: gas stations anymore, but I will say that I fucking
Speaker 4: miss it because there's something about filling your tank that
Speaker 4: makes you.
Speaker 1: Feel like you've done something.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, it's it's like it's like a chore that's
Speaker 4: not like it's really not that hard to do. It
Speaker 4: takes what like seven minutes at most, but when you
Speaker 4: do it, you feel like so accomplished. Like I think
Speaker 4: there's something about like keeping things in your life that
Speaker 4: just give you little boosts of like I fucking did
Speaker 4: something today that one has gone for me, and you get.
Speaker 1: A little treat, got a little diet coke. Are fun?
Speaker 1: Are fun?
Speaker 7: I mean, they're like a top five place I like going.
Speaker 7: I love I kind of love the smell watching.
Speaker 3: I love people watching at a guest stop.
Speaker 4: Yes, there's always something interesting going on. There's always someone
Speaker 4: doing Scratchers that like lives there. There's always a guy
Speaker 4: who like lets you go ahead of him.
Speaker 5: There's always someone eating like the the hot dogs or
Speaker 5: whatever they have, and they're they're like, I can't believe
Speaker 5: anyone actually buys the show.
Speaker 1: And they're being picky about it.
Speaker 4: They're like, well, let's see what you got today, and
Speaker 4: they're like actually acting like there's like different selections of
Speaker 4: the day.
Speaker 5: There's always someone who's having the worst day of their
Speaker 5: life and having to take a ship in the outdoor bath.
Speaker 4: Let me just say that most of the time, the
Speaker 4: people that work at gas stations are I would say,
Speaker 4: across the board from a mom and pop one you
Speaker 4: run into on the road to a you know, a
Speaker 4: quick trip that is like in a downtown area. The
Speaker 4: people that work that them are really nice. Yeah, They're
Speaker 4: always like kind of like having a good time. Like
Speaker 4: is there's something I think they're like treated well as employees.
Speaker 4: From what I can they just seem like kind of jovial.
Speaker 7: Honestly, it is to me the best kind of job
Speaker 7: to have is you're just constantly interacting with people. Yeah,
Speaker 7: and you never have to get to know anyone really
Speaker 7: like you just you're just like kind of having fun.
Speaker 7: And the day goes by so fast when you're.
Speaker 1: Doing that because it's just constant.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I mean, I don't know. I can tell you this
Speaker 5: from my experience in the deli that the day did
Speaker 5: not go by fast for me.
Speaker 4: The fastest time flies for you guys, Like if you're
Speaker 4: really thinking about it, like if we're you know, time
Speaker 4: is a construct and it's not real or whatever, But
Speaker 4: like when do you find time goes by the fastest.
Speaker 6: Any time I'm not doing anything, and.
Speaker 5: It really what that's the opposite.
Speaker 7: I feel like when I have like an actual time,
Speaker 7: like after I've like completed all my work and stuff
Speaker 7: and I'm like, now I can like just do all
Speaker 7: the stuff I want to do, time flies and I'm like,
Speaker 7: oh no.
Speaker 4: Wait, time goes fast when you have nothing to do. Yeah,
Speaker 4: when you when you're like watching shows and you're like, oh,
Speaker 4: I want to relax, like and now I can like
Speaker 4: treat myself, that's when it's like there's it's never enough.
Speaker 6: It's never enough.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: It's not like a procrastination thing where you're like I
Speaker 5: have all this stuff I want to get done. It's
Speaker 5: more just like now I get it some time to
Speaker 5: for myself where I can watch TV or whatever, and that's.
Speaker 7: Just watching TV or doing like like playing like a
Speaker 7: weird game with Nolan.
Speaker 6: Like I'm like it flies by.
Speaker 7: But then like if I'm like working, it's like it's
Speaker 7: like slow and norm.
Speaker 4: There's a deadline and you were under the time crunch,
Speaker 4: it goes it speeds past because you're just depending on
Speaker 4: it going slower if you're you know someone, there's always
Speaker 4: a meme about like if you want time to like,
Speaker 4: if you want to like make your life last longer,
Speaker 4: just to hold a plank because it's like.
Speaker 1: The yeah ever go yeah, how okay.
Speaker 4: This is the first time I've ever felt this, like
Speaker 4: in such a profound way where you see something and
Speaker 4: you're like, that was a year ago. That feels like
Speaker 4: literally three years ago. I think everyone feels this. This
Speaker 4: is literally Mandela effect. I think that they are fucking
Speaker 4: with us. The Willy Wonka Remember the Willy Wonka like
Speaker 4: experience that was really shitty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like that.
Speaker 4: A girl was like it just like looked depressing. Was
Speaker 4: like the firefest of like a kind of you know,
Speaker 4: child wonder like in a warehouse or something. Yeah, it
Speaker 4: was like in England or Scotland or something.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it was a great That was one.
Speaker 1: Year ago to me.
Speaker 4: I would have at least said it was too It's
Speaker 4: like that that was wild to me, And I went
Speaker 4: through the comments being like someone else has got to
Speaker 4: feel this way. Literally everyone felt that way. Everyone everyone
Speaker 4: said it felt like five years and I was like,
Speaker 4: I cannot believe that was one year ago. That is
Speaker 4: really crazy to me.
Speaker 5: Here's a question for you. How how many years ago
Speaker 5: did Russia invade Ukraine this time around?
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna say that was three years ago?
Speaker 6: Four is my guess.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, it was three years ago. So do you
Speaker 5: have it right? Oh? Okay, it was twenty twenty two
Speaker 5: and almost exactly to.
Speaker 4: The day the day, Yeah, anniversary the other day, but
Speaker 4: I didn't realize what year it was.
Speaker 5: Yeah, So does it feel like doesn't it feel like
Speaker 5: they that Russia invaded Ukraine like four months ago? Can
Speaker 5: you believe they've been fighting for three fucking years?
Speaker 1: Really long?
Speaker 5: Yeah, but it's World War Two was four years for US,
Speaker 5: for America. For America's four years. The Ukraine War has
Speaker 5: been going on for almost the entire length that America
Speaker 5: was involved in War War?
Speaker 4: What about fucking codh the dude that was five years ago?
Speaker 5: Yeah, that so nuts.
Speaker 1: That's a big chunk of your life.
Speaker 4: Like IM looking up pictures of myself in twenty twenty
Speaker 4: and I'm like, your eyebrows are an inch higher, Like
Speaker 4: my face looks like I'm a child, And I felt
Speaker 4: like I was so old then, Like I literally feel
Speaker 4: like I'm the same age at twenty twenty as I
Speaker 4: am now, I have not aged whatsoever, but.
Speaker 6: I'm so pissed.
Speaker 7: I'm still pissed off about COVID, just because I do
Speaker 7: feel like we low. I lost my mid thirties and
Speaker 7: I'm so pissed off about it that I like emerged
Speaker 7: as a late thirties guy.
Speaker 4: And oh, interesting, Okay, so we're just like we're stunted.
Speaker 1: We're we're we're well stunted.
Speaker 4: We lost four years, because that's what that is. Like
Speaker 4: I look at those pictures and they go, my face
Speaker 4: looks so young, but I feel like I'm that same age,
Speaker 4: and I think, is that a universe that's probably a
Speaker 4: universal feeling. Noah, do you feel the same way? Like, actually,
Speaker 4: daring Sean describe it like that.
Speaker 3: That may total sense, because I feel like I lost
Speaker 3: out on living the last of my thirties because of
Speaker 3: the Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, everyone feels like they were robbed of whatever time
Speaker 4: that was.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but COVID's a tricky one about.
Speaker 1: What were we supposed to doing it in our late thirties.
Speaker 4: Let's talk about this though, because I think some people
Speaker 4: lost high school, some people lost their late twenties.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's yeah, the energies.
Speaker 6: My heart goes out to them.
Speaker 7: But I feel like my late thirties were supposed to
Speaker 7: be me and my girlies going house.
Speaker 3: Well, it didn't make me excited to turn forty. I
Speaker 3: like didn't even celebrate my fortieth birthday. I was just like, oh, yes, bullshit.
Speaker 5: They always told me the late thirties are the best
Speaker 5: years of your life. And you look back on your
Speaker 5: late thirties and think, man, what those were the days?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I know, but at least we discovered zoom, like.
Speaker 5: In the early days of COVID, when we were like,
Speaker 5: let's play games on Zoom.
Speaker 1: I like COVID.
Speaker 4: I know that this is not an original thing to
Speaker 4: say or like makes me interesting and cool, But like
Speaker 4: I did, I was very wildly depressed during COVID for
Speaker 4: a lot of it. But there was Man, I don't
Speaker 4: I do think we'll get that back at some point.
Speaker 4: I think there will be another pandemic or something that
Speaker 4: keeps us all like inside you know, yeah, yeah, and
Speaker 4: that will keep us hold up, or war or something
Speaker 4: that will like steal our ability to socialize and work
Speaker 4: for a while. But what a delicious time where everyone
Speaker 4: really couldn't work.
Speaker 1: I really like. I love when the race was canceled
Speaker 1: like I do.
Speaker 4: I love running, I love competing, but man, when the
Speaker 4: race is canceled and I'm not, it's not I'm injured
Speaker 4: and have to sit it out.
Speaker 1: It's like everyone's injured. Love it.
Speaker 6: Oh, now you're one hundred percent right.
Speaker 7: I love the like everyone was even, like everyone was working.
Speaker 4: Until people started doing Zoom comedy shows and I go,
Speaker 4: you stop it?
Speaker 5: Yeah, or well it really happened with TikTok. I mean
Speaker 5: there is wow. We were all playing fucking catch phrase
Speaker 5: on Zoom.
Speaker 2: There are people who were make TikTok video I know,
Speaker 2: renegadeout it. Yeah yeah, and now they have a they
Speaker 2: we're able to leave COVID with a worldwide tour.
Speaker 1: All right, we're gonna go to break and come back
Speaker 1: after this.
Speaker 3: We have to just announce because it's blowing up. Nikki
Speaker 3: was on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepherd. People are loving it.
Speaker 3: Really gotta yeah, we just got to let people know that.
Speaker 4: Okay, Yes, I am on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepherd.
Speaker 4: Probably I'm going to say it the most fun podcast
Speaker 4: I've ever been a guest on. That is No shade
Speaker 4: to any other podcast because I've said so much fun.
Speaker 4: But I was really nervous going into it because I
Speaker 4: wasn't an avid listener beforehand. You know, I kind of
Speaker 4: been some episodes beforehand and like right before, and I've
Speaker 4: obviously watched the clips a ton, and I have a
Speaker 4: lot of good friends, Like I think all of my
Speaker 4: like you know, like my smartest friends like listen to
Speaker 4: the show. So I had like a respect for it.
Speaker 4: I like Dax, I like like Monica. I liked the vibe,
Speaker 4: but I was a little bit nervous going in because
Speaker 4: I just didn't I feel the whole booking was off.
Speaker 4: I felt was off of a joke I made about
Speaker 4: Dak Shepherd that I told on Howard Stern Show about
Speaker 4: how you know, the Golden Globes brings everyone from TV
Speaker 4: and film together for one common purpose to get out
Speaker 4: of here without Dak Shephard inviting us, you know, asking
Speaker 4: them to do their podcast. And and so they they
Speaker 4: like heard the joke and they laughed about it, and
Speaker 4: Monica wrote me and was like, uh, you gotta come
Speaker 4: on the show or I forget how it went down,
Speaker 4: but with something like that, so I was kind of
Speaker 4: nervous that they were going to be like, who do
Speaker 4: you think you are making a joke like that? But
Speaker 4: they were so cool and I just like, I don't know,
Speaker 4: I've just instantly felt so at ease. They had a
Speaker 4: really great studio, the way they just get started, you
Speaker 4: just sit down. They're just so nice, and I just
Speaker 4: felt I saw you guys right after, like I came
Speaker 4: from it. I loved it. I felt so emotionally connect
Speaker 4: to both of them. I felt like, you know a
Speaker 4: lot of times you record a podcast and you forget
Speaker 4: that there are cameras there and you're just like having
Speaker 4: a moment, and I felt like I learned about myself,
Speaker 4: I learned about them.
Speaker 3: Like it was just people like you say, there was
Speaker 3: like a topic, weed topic whatever that way.
Speaker 1: It's really resonating with people. That's the what I'm getting people.
Speaker 4: So many people are writing to me about the weed
Speaker 4: stuff that I was talking about how I struggle with
Speaker 4: like giving it up, and it's like been the hardest
Speaker 4: thing to like kind of get like completely eradicate from
Speaker 4: my life, and man, it is the it is the
Speaker 4: one thing I struggle with, you guys, And so it
Speaker 4: is so nice that so many people are writing to
Speaker 4: me about it, saying that they struggle with it too,
Speaker 4: because it's all these people.
Speaker 1: That I'm like, oh, I'm not alone.
Speaker 4: So like, not only was I made able to make
Speaker 4: them feel less alone, them writing to me is making
Speaker 4: me feel like, oh good, this isn't just me. And
Speaker 4: it's like a bunch of normal people that don't you know,
Speaker 4: like I could see their profile pictures and they're like
Speaker 4: normal people that you'd be like, I want to be
Speaker 4: that girl and she's struggling with the same fucking thing.
Speaker 1: It sounds really nice.
Speaker 3: Honorable mention in pop culture, Actually I have two, but
Speaker 3: this one was really cool. A new season of The Kardashians,
Speaker 3: Kim gives you a really nice shout out on the
Speaker 3: roast episode.
Speaker 4: I know, I couldn't even watch it because I was
Speaker 4: like nervous to see it because I just but I
Speaker 4: saw the screenshot of it and I heard that she
Speaker 4: said that Nikki killed it or something like that.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: And then the third Nikki and pop culture is Shaquille
Speaker 3: O'Neil wants Nikki to roast him.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, okay, incredible.
Speaker 6: I mean, he's the Kim Kardashian of the NBA to me.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, yeah, that is really exciting. He did
Speaker 4: DM me and was like please roast me.
Speaker 1: And yeah, and that was thrilling.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was he that that sound bite came out
Speaker 4: like I would say, he DMed me.
Speaker 1: Like, what was it? You guys were all.
Speaker 4: Over at my place when he DM me, and I
Speaker 4: made you all guess guests who just DMed me and
Speaker 4: really fun guessing game and you all got it eventually.
Speaker 6: But it was Friday.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, so he was like, yeah, I was around
Speaker 4: Thanksgiving where Shack slid into my DMS and was just like,
Speaker 4: please roast me, and I was like, I'd love to,
Speaker 4: and he was like, you know, just said really nice things.
Speaker 5: Last night on the TNT postgame show A Shack is on,
Speaker 5: there was like a really strange moment where like the
Speaker 5: host of the show, who, I'm not sure it's like
Speaker 5: an ex basketball player. He's like a white guy and
Speaker 5: he doesn't seem like he was an athlete. Ernie. He
Speaker 5: was like, is it, Ernie, who is that guy? Yeah,
Speaker 5: he's just a regular rocket. He's just a regular guy.
Speaker 5: And he was like, we have these clips of Shaq
Speaker 5: when he went to the Lakers and he had to
Speaker 5: play against his old team, the Magic, and Shaq was like,
Speaker 5: don't play those clips. And then he was like, oh,
Speaker 5: come on here. He was like I think he was
Speaker 5: like talking to the producer saying, don't play the clips.
Speaker 5: Nobody wants to see these clips. That was from thirty
Speaker 5: years ago. I'm uncle Shaq. Now to people, no one
Speaker 5: remembers me as that other guy. That's a different guy.
Speaker 5: Don't play the clips. And then Ernie was like, play
Speaker 5: the clips. They played the clips, and then afterwards. I
Speaker 5: don't know if it was a bit or what, but
Speaker 5: Shack seemed genuinely angry.
Speaker 6: You mean, I get it.
Speaker 7: I get it though, because when you see young Shaq,
Speaker 7: he's so muscular, he's so PHYSI that what he is.
Speaker 7: He's faster, he's stronger. He was like seven foot one
Speaker 7: and like three twenty of just pure muscle. And now
Speaker 7: when you see Shaq he is like an elderly friendly giant.
Speaker 7: You don't It's gotta be hard for him to see
Speaker 7: that and know how much it hurts to get out
Speaker 7: of bed.
Speaker 5: Well, I never related to someone more than Ernie. After
Speaker 5: that did this thing where he was like, see he
Speaker 5: was like thinking in his head, like I'm gonna do
Speaker 5: this thing. Even though he's saying no, he doesn't really
Speaker 5: mean no, and he's gonna like it. And then afterwards
Speaker 5: we're all gonna be buddies. And then they did it
Speaker 5: and he's actually mad. And then Ernie did this thing
Speaker 5: after the video and it says wasn't that good or
Speaker 5: wasn't that nice? And then he holds out his hand
Speaker 5: to shake Shack's hand, which is such a weird thing
Speaker 5: to do, oh.
Speaker 4: Because he was just like he was trying to confirm
Speaker 4: and like get you know, get reassurance that everything was okay.
Speaker 4: Like when you're floundering like that, you just want like
Speaker 4: a human touch to be like it's okay.
Speaker 5: And then Shack no flapped his hand away. No, get
Speaker 5: the hell out of here, man, Oh no no. And
Speaker 5: I just I never related to someone more than Ernie
Speaker 5: in that moment where he's just like, oh my god,
Speaker 5: he's actually mad at me.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's too far. Yeah, played, Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Nikki Shack's quote in the article is, Nikki, you can
Speaker 3: say whatever you want about me, my mom and my kids.
Speaker 3: Let's do it so you get yeah, guy, you one.
Speaker 6: Just don't remind me what I was like when I
Speaker 6: was twenty two.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's I relate to Shaq too with like I
Speaker 4: don't like when people like play clips of me from
Speaker 4: when I was young, because it's almost it's just jarring.
Speaker 1: You like can see your age way.
Speaker 4: More clearly when it's juxtaposed with how young you are,
Speaker 4: and it reminds people of like you are becoming slowly irrelevant.
Speaker 4: You're like decaying before their eyes, and like it's just
Speaker 4: or like you were I was like, like, you know,
Speaker 4: twenty pounds thinner or something, and like you would never
Speaker 4: think that I'm like overweight or like not thin right now,
Speaker 4: but then you're like, whoa look at her potential and
Speaker 4: it's just like makes for like a weird vibe final thought.
Speaker 4: I would even say if there was a picture of
Speaker 4: me from before where I look not good, like when
Speaker 4: I was on jay Leno or when I did not
Speaker 4: safe in. My hair was like bleached and cropped and
Speaker 4: I didn't know how to wear makeup. I hate seeing
Speaker 4: those pictures too, because it reminds people of the potential
Speaker 4: for how ugly I can be, and I don't want
Speaker 4: them to think that that.
Speaker 1: Can happen again.
Speaker 4: Like I just I don't want any record of me
Speaker 4: ever ever. I just want it to be now. I
Speaker 4: just want to live in the present. I don't like
Speaker 4: motion pictures. I don't like pictures.
Speaker 1: I don't I just want everything to be live.
Speaker 4: I would have done really well in Shakespearean times, where
Speaker 4: it's like you're famous if you perform live and that's it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, tell thee yeah. The only there's a cutoff though.
Speaker 5: The only types of pictures that are okay is when
Speaker 5: you're like a kid, like you go yeah, teen and younger,
Speaker 5: you can show.
Speaker 1: Those I can't go back to that.
Speaker 4: But if it's like you're plus twenty one plus yeah
Speaker 4: no no, no.
Speaker 7: No no, you just see you but younger and full
Speaker 7: of life.
Speaker 1: Like oh, I love baby pictures. I can't get enough
Speaker 1: of them. I want them of everyone. Never get tired
Speaker 1: of it. Love it.
Speaker 5: There are pictures of me in my young twenties where
Speaker 5: I don't have a beard, and like, I don't want
Speaker 5: anyone to see that shit.
Speaker 1: I kind of want to see it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, no one's seeing that shit.
Speaker 6: Oh God, I would love to see you without a beard.
Speaker 5: No, no.
Speaker 4: I think it's really weird when people get like nervous
Speaker 4: about like don't show my baby picture or when I
Speaker 4: was like a you know, like seven years old. I'm
Speaker 4: just like, no one cares what you were like that, Like,
Speaker 4: you know, it's.
Speaker 5: Funny if you look if you look if you look
Speaker 5: weird back then, that's funny. Whereas if you look weird
Speaker 5: when you were twenty five or you look good when
Speaker 5: you were twenty five, it's not funny.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I mean high school too. High school that's
Speaker 1: fine too.
Speaker 4: Like that, when you look at high school, I like,
Speaker 4: I assume you were a dork everyone. If you are cool,
Speaker 4: you were definitely dork then, Like, I don't anyone who's
Speaker 4: cool in high school.
Speaker 1: I don't really. I am not that like intrigued or
Speaker 1: impressed by that.
Speaker 7: Yeah, no one gives a shit about people who are
Speaker 7: cool in high school when they're adult.
Speaker 4: Is there a way to tell kids in high school
Speaker 4: that it doesn't matter that we'll really get.
Speaker 5: Through that because we go back in time and tell
Speaker 5: ourselves that.
Speaker 1: So they but like, would you listen? Probably not saw?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 5: I mean, I that song I wish I knew what
Speaker 5: I knew now now that I'm older. I mean, that's
Speaker 5: like that's like the number one thing I wanted.
Speaker 1: Okay, so let's go around the horn.
Speaker 4: If you had, if you could talk to your seventeen
Speaker 4: year old self, what would you tell me?
Speaker 8: It needs to be younger, it needs to be thirteen?
Speaker 8: Oh really okay, so well, thirteen free entering high school. Okay,
Speaker 8: thirteen entering high school. What would you tell your thirteen
Speaker 8: year old self? I mean that sounds one sentence.
Speaker 5: You can have sex with anybody you want in the school.
Speaker 2: No believe that, That's what I would say.
Speaker 5: All you need is confidence. All you need is confidence
Speaker 5: any girl in this All you have to do is
Speaker 5: go up and say what do you want? Do you
Speaker 5: want to go out for a date? Do you want
Speaker 5: to go on a date? And they'll do it like that?
Speaker 4: And that is not true that no confidents still can't
Speaker 4: get laid.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. It's not all about confidence.
Speaker 4: It's about it's about it's not about it's actually about
Speaker 4: actually liking yourself, and that is so hard to do.
Speaker 4: It's not about pretending to be confident, because that's you know,
Speaker 4: that's so much.
Speaker 5: Of so much of a young boys high school career
Speaker 5: is spent, So much energy is spent trying to get
Speaker 5: laid and trying to fit and being scared of going
Speaker 5: up to girls. You can watch it on on there's
Speaker 5: people on TikTok who are uggs major who should prove
Speaker 5: it where they go up to girls and they hit
Speaker 5: on them and they get their number and they're like
Speaker 5: all it took was me to actually just do it.
Speaker 7: It's high school, high school, Like RIZ doesn't come into
Speaker 7: play in high school totally. Yeah, Like I feel like,
Speaker 7: I mean somebody who was a total rizmeister, it did
Speaker 7: not come into play. It was like it was like
Speaker 7: they want a beautiful boy at that point, like that
Speaker 7: is what they're really looking for.
Speaker 1: I feel what would you.
Speaker 3: Say, Oh sorry, I would say nobody cares that you're
Speaker 3: poor and you live in a tiny apartment, invite friends over?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 4: Would you believe that person though? But yes, that's like
Speaker 4: you just wish you could shake like you.
Speaker 3: Yes, I wish I could shake myself and be like
Speaker 3: the poor thing is your mom or like your parents.
Speaker 3: It's it's not your kids don't care about what class
Speaker 3: you're in.
Speaker 1: So was your mom like that? Onto you? Like people
Speaker 1: don't want to come over here because we're poor.
Speaker 3: Not that part of it, but like other things about
Speaker 3: got it presenting poor and all that stuff.
Speaker 4: Right, So it was like a complex for you of
Speaker 4: like people can't know I'm poor.
Speaker 3: And I had boys come over that a friend of
Speaker 3: mine new and they made a comment They're like, how
Speaker 3: many people live here about and that like stuck with
Speaker 3: me and I just never knew.
Speaker 4: But I would have gone, Okay, I'm really sorry to
Speaker 4: say this, but I think in high school people do
Speaker 4: judge you if you're poor, Like the people are assholes.
Speaker 4: Like the thing about high school is they do they
Speaker 4: They are all they're all fucking losers and their brains
Speaker 4: aren't developed and they are like mean. And the real
Speaker 4: thing is is like it won't matter later. But I
Speaker 4: was zoned, you know, like I'm like, I grew up
Speaker 4: in Brooklyn, New York, so there was no like rich
Speaker 4: mansions or anything like that where I everyone lived in
Speaker 4: an apartment basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5: I would go back to my thirteen year old self
Speaker 5: and I would say, take all of your barmts for
Speaker 5: money and put it, invest it in Amazon. That's a
Speaker 5: good one, and then you'll be able to have sex
Speaker 5: with anybody you want exactly.
Speaker 1: That is good about you. Nikki, What would you.
Speaker 4: Say I would say, take singing lessons and guitar lessons
Speaker 4: now and don't give up.
Speaker 1: And that I would.
Speaker 4: Say, you sucking is part of it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I would.
Speaker 4: Say, no one that you you are not. You can
Speaker 4: be as good as anyone you want to be if
Speaker 4: you just work hard enough. And I know that they
Speaker 4: try to tell us that like practice makes perfect. You'll see,
Speaker 4: they like teach us these songs.
Speaker 1: About like everything.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just didn't.
Speaker 4: Believe that not being good at something right away meants
Speaker 4: you couldn't be good at something if you tried hard enough,
Speaker 4: if you like something enough and do it enough, you
Speaker 4: can be just as good as someone who is naturally
Speaker 4: inclined to it, and you can be better than them.
Speaker 1: That's what I would tell myself.
Speaker 5: Sure, especially if you put in more work than the
Speaker 5: person who If the person who's naturally inclined doesn't put
Speaker 5: in the work, sometimes the person who's naturally inclined, we're
Speaker 5: naturally inclined. They don't feel like they have to put
Speaker 5: in the work, and then there is a point Ny
Speaker 5: past them, Johnny Manziel. Maybe Luca, we don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, Lucas so good.
Speaker 5: I love is trick of too much beer. Is that
Speaker 5: why the man's got rid of him?
Speaker 7: I think thirteen years old and twenty six years old,
Speaker 7: i'd say the same thing.
Speaker 1: Don't listen to your friends. Just do what makes you happy.
Speaker 7: Yeah, stop thinking trying is gay, It makes you gay?
Speaker 6: Like that was a big.
Speaker 1: Well, this is so much more appreciation for your sixties.
Speaker 1: What would we tell ourselves now? Oh my god, if
Speaker 1: you could predict.
Speaker 4: What we would say, like if we're we're like, you know,
Speaker 4: recording a reel like Jane Fonda does where she like
Speaker 4: talks to like people in their forties.
Speaker 5: Well. See, So I have a neighbor who's now ninety two,
Speaker 5: and I've asked her this question. I was like, is
Speaker 5: there anything you can tell me? Like, what can you
Speaker 5: tell me to make you know? What would you tell me?
Speaker 5: Would you tell you if you were my age? And
Speaker 5: she goes, I don't fucking know.
Speaker 1: You asked her five years ago. I think right now
Speaker 1: she's just too exhausted.
Speaker 5: I don't know what.
Speaker 1: To say I will say.
Speaker 5: But based on her behavior, I can say this the
Speaker 5: number one I think this is without a doubt scientific.
Speaker 5: The number one way to live a long life is
Speaker 5: to not worry. Yeah, the people who don't worry, who go, oh,
Speaker 5: whatever that happened, this happened, I don't care. Those are
Speaker 5: the people who live until there were a hundred years.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I did tell like, I met some kids from
Speaker 4: Harvard this weekend. Okay, wow, and we were all they
Speaker 4: were like, they weren't asking for advice, but I just
Speaker 4: felt the need to give it, and I said, if
Speaker 4: you want to. They were all like, you know, comedy
Speaker 4: writers and people who were interested in comedy. I'm like,
Speaker 4: the one thing I will tell you that I think
Speaker 4: will make you all succeed more than yours. And that's
Speaker 4: what you're gonna need because all of you work extremely
Speaker 4: hard and you're gonna be at the top, you know,
Speaker 4: trying to make it past that person that's right next
Speaker 4: to you about the win, to win the race. If
Speaker 4: you want to inch ahead and do something that they
Speaker 4: cannot do, quit drinking.
Speaker 1: I go. You all like drinking right.
Speaker 4: Now, I promise you is the one thing that none
Speaker 4: of them that keep drinking will ever look to as
Speaker 4: a reason why they're not succeeding. But it truly will
Speaker 4: give you such a huge advantage that only you will
Speaker 4: know after you stop. And then uh, it's the same
Speaker 4: way I feel about not having kids right now, Like
Speaker 4: I'm I'm getting to I have more energy to work
Speaker 4: right now than other women in my age that have
Speaker 4: kids that are in the same position as me. I mean,
Speaker 4: some of them are managing to do it, but it's
Speaker 4: like this advantage by opting out of this thing that
Speaker 4: drains you. It's really fun. Drinking is really fun. You're
Speaker 4: gonna miss out on a lot. Having kids is really fun.
Speaker 4: You're gonna miss out on a lot. But if you
Speaker 4: are wanting to succeed in your job and you want
Speaker 4: energy to do that, don't drink.
Speaker 1: Point And they were all like kind.
Speaker 4: Of like whoa, Like, you don't have to do that
Speaker 4: until I go like when I was twenty seven. When
Speaker 4: you're twenty seven, you have many years set of it's
Speaker 4: a good yeah, twenty seven.
Speaker 5: I have a counterpoint though to that, Yeah, because I
Speaker 5: didn't drink. You know, I'm the I'm the example of
Speaker 5: the person who didn't drink. But I stopped drinking when
Speaker 5: I was twenty before it's legal. I stopped drinking. And
Speaker 5: I think that if I drank in the comedy scene
Speaker 5: in New York coming up, I probably would have been
Speaker 5: slightly more successful because so many connections were made, So
Speaker 5: many connections were made just by staying up late, hanging
Speaker 5: out at the bar and drinking with these.
Speaker 4: I tell someone like you who is doesn't drink, to
Speaker 4: drink because I don't think you're ever going to have
Speaker 4: a problem with it, and I think that it could
Speaker 4: help you socialize and like be more ingratiated in the scene.
Speaker 1: But most of the people I was talking to were hungover.
Speaker 7: Yeah, and they were currently drinking as well.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, And I thought, but I do agree with you.
Speaker 4: I think that you could have used a couple like
Speaker 4: That's why I've been like, Brian, you should have hit
Speaker 4: the weed the vaate pen and you should have like,
Speaker 4: I think it would benefit you to loosen up a
Speaker 4: little bit.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think.
Speaker 7: I think in your early twenties, if you moved to
Speaker 7: New York or any like cool comedy scene, it's important
Speaker 7: to drink a little bit or a lot for a
Speaker 7: little bit to make those connections and then do it.
Speaker 7: Quit before you embarrass yourself or yourself because then people
Speaker 7: that sticks with people Yeah, like.
Speaker 1: Seant, you can't do it. It's such a hard thing
Speaker 1: to do.
Speaker 4: People do not quit drinking, and it's if you can
Speaker 4: get do that, you you can do anything.
Speaker 5: I can think of a list of dozens and dozens
Speaker 5: of comedians who didn't quit when they were supposed to
Speaker 5: uh drinking and comedy, I guess, and they went too far.
Speaker 5: And now it's like when you get into like your
Speaker 5: mid thirties and you're just like trashed at the comedy
Speaker 5: show or then it's then it becomes like, oh, you
Speaker 5: have a problem. When you're in my twenties and you're
Speaker 5: just like, let's party, let's hang out. Then then you're
Speaker 5: making friends that in the future, could you know you
Speaker 5: could work together with.
Speaker 7: I kind of noticed, like scrolling through Instagram, just like
Speaker 7: people that like, you know I started with or like
Speaker 7: a net along the way, and like they're like still
Speaker 7: holding a drink on stage and they just look fucked up.
Speaker 4: And it's I think drinking on stage is so disrespectful.
Speaker 4: I just I can't like it's just like you're so
Speaker 4: you're going to see a performer who's like getting worse
Speaker 4: at what they're doing. People like that, I mean, people
Speaker 4: love it, and obviously I don't, like I've been high
Speaker 4: on stage before. I don't really think it makes you
Speaker 4: worse what you're doing. Like I always whenever I brought
Speaker 4: a drink on stage, it was like to look cool. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and so I think it's kind of ki And I
Speaker 4: also think it's like it's it sends a bad message
Speaker 4: to your audience that you don't respect them because you're
Speaker 4: like becoming more dumb.
Speaker 5: I mean, some people go on stage with puppets, drunk puppets.
Speaker 6: Yeah, no one's ever look cool with a puppet.
Speaker 4: But there's some people that pull off drinking on stage
Speaker 4: and it is part of the act and it's part
Speaker 4: of their persona, and I I'm not coming for them when.
Speaker 5: I say I don't think I can watch Ron why
Speaker 5: without hoold that. I think he quit drinking though now
Speaker 5: he just holds a cup.
Speaker 4: We gotta get him back on it, all right, guys,
Speaker 4: thank you so much for listening to the podcast.
Speaker 1: We Gotta Go.
Speaker 4: We will see you next week on this show shows
Speaker 4: this weekend in Canada.
Speaker 1: Can't wait to go up there. Worried about customs.
Speaker 4: Always have anxiety that something's up my ass, like some hair,
Speaker 4: like something that I'm smuggling something in the country. I
Speaker 4: will not be, but there's always a guilt Sean, I'll
Speaker 4: see you there light going.
Speaker 1: To Victoria, Victoria and Vancouver. But like in America, what
Speaker 1: you're doing this weekend? Wait? What am I doing?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: Oscars?
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I'm going to the Oscars Vanity Fair
Speaker 4: party on Sunday night, so we will have a recap
Speaker 4: of that, and then on Monday, I will be on
Speaker 4: Kelly and Mark Kelly Rippa and Mark Live on Monday
Speaker 4: Morning to talk about the Oscars.
Speaker 1: So tune into both those things.
Speaker 4: I can't believe I'm not gonna do the podcast until
Speaker 4: I do all that stuff.
Speaker 1: Wild weekend. I'm also doing Nardwar.
Speaker 4: Oh, so that'll be fun, big weekend, tons of work,
Speaker 4: tons of fun.
Speaker 1: Gonna go crazy with Nardwar.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm gonna scream a lot and go whoa how
Speaker 4: do you remember that.
Speaker 1: Thing for my past?
Speaker 5: Yeah? And he's gonna give you a bunch and he's
Speaker 5: gonna give you a Taylor Swift album of sometime.
Speaker 1: Yes, I can't wait. It'll be so fun. Thank you
Speaker 1: guys for listening. Love you, busties. Don't be good bye.
Speaker 4: The Nicki Glazer Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's
Speaker 4: Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts, created and hosted by
Speaker 4: me Nicki Glazer, co hosted by Brian Frangie, Executive produced
Speaker 4: by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Noah Avior. Edited it
Speaker 4: engineered by Lean and Loaf, video production Mark Canton and
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