WEBVTT - #514 An Elevated Gift, Restaurant Pet Peeves & Helping Your Younger Self? 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:02.480 Nikki Glazer Podcast. 0:00:07.520 --> 0:00:07.920 Gazer. 0:00:10.119 --> 0:00:11.000 Here's Nikki. 0:00:11.360 --> 0:00:13.360 Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's Nicky 0:00:13.360 --> 0:00:18.400 Glazer Podcast here with the same team as yesterday. It's Noah, 0:00:18.600 --> 0:00:20.160 It's Brian, and it's Sean. 0:00:20.320 --> 0:00:24.000 What's up, guys, I've got a really big team. Wait, 0:00:24.040 --> 0:00:26.560 what's that song? Because theyone know it? It's a great song. 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:27.640 What hey? 0:00:28.240 --> 0:00:32.680 You sound like a song that sounded like words? 0:00:33.280 --> 0:00:37.280 So I have the questions meeting. 0:00:38.240 --> 0:00:44.000 Is is podcast called podcast because of the iPod? Like 0:00:44.080 --> 0:00:46.559 did they get away? Did Apple get away with like 0:00:47.479 --> 0:00:51.120 craning this entire clean genre? Yeah? 0:00:51.280 --> 0:00:51.879 Or Dumpster? 0:00:52.760 --> 0:00:52.960 Yeah? 0:00:53.240 --> 0:00:57.080 You know dumpster is not what it is? No, that's 0:00:57.120 --> 0:00:58.280 like that's a brand name. 0:00:58.800 --> 0:00:59.440 No, it's not. 0:01:00.200 --> 0:01:01.480 I could be wrong, but look it up. 0:01:01.520 --> 0:01:04.160 This this might be so embarrassing, like I had a 0:01:04.200 --> 0:01:06.039 moment this weekend like this. I'll tell you in a second. 0:01:06.280 --> 0:01:08.520 But I do think that Dumpster might be a brand name. 0:01:09.360 --> 0:01:12.119 Dumpster was invented by Harvey Dumpster. 0:01:11.880 --> 0:01:14.039 And wasn't I think it's a brand name. 0:01:14.959 --> 0:01:20.640 Dempster, Dumpster, Dempster brothers in the six trademark to sound 0:01:20.880 --> 0:01:21.880 like it. 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:22.880 Sound like it? 0:01:23.200 --> 0:01:30.600 Yes, cut Kleenex, Dumpster, band aid, band aid, so they 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:37.040 call it plasters in England, plasters for a band aid. 0:01:37.160 --> 0:01:41.119 That the Dumpster Brothers is. So I think you shall 0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:41.880 be coded. 0:01:45.880 --> 0:01:48.320 So was Brian saying, I love like, I love my 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:51.720 whole team. We got a real I love Oh yeah, 0:01:51.720 --> 0:01:52.640 I got a really big team. 0:01:52.760 --> 0:01:55.480 I love my whole team. Actually, I just wanted a. 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:57.520 Group of people that were all really bad people to 0:01:57.560 --> 0:01:59.240 get together. Like, I just wanted to make a group 0:01:59.280 --> 0:02:01.680 of Really what is that one? You got to watch 0:02:01.720 --> 0:02:06.840 the Tim Robbins skateboard video where he's putting together a 0:02:06.880 --> 0:02:08.359 team of Like, what. 0:02:08.440 --> 0:02:09.000 Is the team? 0:02:09.080 --> 0:02:11.919 I don't even understand what Now I'm thinking back on it, 0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:13.480 I'm like, what team is he forming? 0:02:14.160 --> 0:02:16.280 Just a group of people that skateboard together? 0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:18.200 Yeah, like a skateboarding group. 0:02:18.639 --> 0:02:19.480 He just wants to be. 0:02:19.400 --> 0:02:21.280 A really bad person. He wants people to think he's 0:02:21.280 --> 0:02:23.519 a really bad person. He wants when people leave the room, 0:02:23.520 --> 0:02:25.280 he wants them to say, man. 0:02:25.120 --> 0:02:28.480 That guy is a piece of shit. It just makes 0:02:28.520 --> 0:02:30.120 no sense, but it makes all the sense. 0:02:30.480 --> 0:02:33.680 Yeah, it's Drake in future. I've got because I got 0:02:33.720 --> 0:02:36.360 a really big team and they need some really big rings, 0:02:36.360 --> 0:02:38.720 they need some really nice things. Better be coming with 0:02:38.800 --> 0:02:41.520 no strength it's about Drake and Future talking about how 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:43.520 when they got to deal with the record label, you 0:02:43.600 --> 0:02:46.040 also got to pay the team and everyone needs really 0:02:46.080 --> 0:02:48.240 big rings and why because I just I have a 0:02:48.240 --> 0:02:48.720 big team. 0:02:49.120 --> 0:02:52.720 Okay, speaking of really big rings and buying things for 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:55.600 your team, I got I got you guys some jewelry 0:02:55.800 --> 0:02:57.680 for the Golden Globes that you both have. 0:02:58.800 --> 0:03:01.200 You did, and it's like, that's really the nicest thing 0:03:01.320 --> 0:03:01.679 I own. 0:03:01.800 --> 0:03:03.880 Now that's what I realize. 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:08.360 I love giving cool gifts that like elevate someone. I 0:03:08.400 --> 0:03:11.680 got some people on my team that were, you know, 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:13.720 like the we had like a cool we had a 0:03:13.720 --> 0:03:15.600 bunch of people on the Golden Globes team, but there 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:19.280 were some you know, members that were the you know, 0:03:19.880 --> 0:03:22.360 that were involved from the beginning to end in like 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:24.960 a very serious, dedicated way. 0:03:25.240 --> 0:03:27.000 And so Chris and I. 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:33.280 Got them Rollies Rolexes and Emily sourced them and found them. 0:03:33.360 --> 0:03:36.280 It took forever. They just got them last week or 0:03:36.320 --> 0:03:40.240 like a couple of days ago, and and they're engraved 0:03:40.280 --> 0:03:43.280 and they say Golden Globes twenty twenty five and they're 0:03:43.320 --> 0:03:43.800 really cool. 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:44.440 Nice. 0:03:44.720 --> 0:03:46.640 Yeah, they're so cool. Thank you so much. 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:49.520 I have now I now know to hide my arm 0:03:49.600 --> 0:03:51.120 while like being out on the street. 0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:54.920 Yeah, you are more prone to assault, but it was 0:03:55.000 --> 0:03:57.880 just like a cool thing to do. I just well, 0:03:58.160 --> 0:04:00.000 first week well this weekend, I was able to get 0:04:00.160 --> 0:04:02.520 Shawn his in person, and then later on in the 0:04:02.600 --> 0:04:04.320 night he was wearing it and I was like, well, 0:04:04.400 --> 0:04:06.440 that's a nice watch, Like it caught my eye, so 0:04:06.480 --> 0:04:09.840 I was like, oh, it works. This is really nice. 0:04:09.840 --> 0:04:11.920 That it's a really nice one. I mean, it's ridiculous. 0:04:11.960 --> 0:04:13.960 It's you know, there was that one story with like 0:04:14.040 --> 0:04:17.400 Chris Rock or something. Who there's a story with Chris Rock. 0:04:17.440 --> 0:04:19.640 I think it was for Top five or something, or 0:04:19.680 --> 0:04:21.160 maybe it was a stand up special where he like 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:24.720 brought in like five comedians like Luis k was one 0:04:24.720 --> 0:04:27.919 of them to help him write for this script or 0:04:27.920 --> 0:04:30.279 for his special or something like that, and then he 0:04:30.360 --> 0:04:33.480 gave them all maybe it was even rolexes or it 0:04:33.480 --> 0:04:35.880 was five thousand dollars. And when I heard that story 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:39.720 back then, I was like, that's ridiculous. And never in 0:04:39.839 --> 0:04:42.479 a million years would I think that I would be 0:04:43.040 --> 0:04:46.800 in a position to receive something like that for a 0:04:46.800 --> 0:04:47.680 similar reason. 0:04:48.160 --> 0:04:51.440 Oh, you guys definitely deserved it, And yeah, it is 0:04:51.520 --> 0:04:53.760 crazy when you. I was just having that moment today 0:04:53.800 --> 0:04:56.640 when I was like posting about my sold out shows 0:04:56.640 --> 0:04:59.719 in Boston, like six shows at this gigangantic theater that 0:04:59.839 --> 0:05:01.920 is bigger than the theater I was at last year 0:05:01.920 --> 0:05:04.640 in Boston and I only did and I did two 0:05:04.680 --> 0:05:07.080 shows at the wilbur and it was like, WHOA, that's incredible, 0:05:07.120 --> 0:05:09.080 and then it's five shows at this even bigger theater, 0:05:09.200 --> 0:05:12.039 and I was like thinking, oh, I remember when like 0:05:12.080 --> 0:05:16.880 Ali Wong started doing like five shows, two more at it, 0:05:17.040 --> 0:05:20.320 seven shows, eleven shows, like and just being like that 0:05:20.480 --> 0:05:24.240 is awesome for her, and that isn't even something that whatever. 0:05:25.040 --> 0:05:27.200 It wasn't even like it's like the way I think 0:05:27.200 --> 0:05:29.200 about having kids now, I'm just like good for them, 0:05:29.240 --> 0:05:31.479 Like that is literally never gonna happen for me. 0:05:31.760 --> 0:05:33.720 I don't even like I'm not even mad about it, 0:05:33.760 --> 0:05:34.320 you know what I mean. 0:05:34.400 --> 0:05:35.960 Like that's the way I used to think about those 0:05:36.000 --> 0:05:38.000 kind of things. And I want to just say to 0:05:38.040 --> 0:05:42.839 anyone who might look at someone's life and get like jealous, 0:05:42.880 --> 0:05:44.920 or I wasn't even jealous. It was just like out 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:46.960 of it was just like, well, that's just a different 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:49.520 kind of comedy that someone's doing, mine's never going to 0:05:49.560 --> 0:05:52.320 be that accessible or I'm never gonna be that beloved 0:05:52.440 --> 0:05:56.719 because I'm not lovable, so that's fine. Like that was 0:05:56.760 --> 0:06:00.280 my reasoning, was like I am not like some people 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:03.120 like me, but it's never gonna be thousands in one city, 0:06:03.200 --> 0:06:06.200 Like it's just impossible. And it wasn't even like I 0:06:06.320 --> 0:06:08.800 really promise you. I wasn't like sad about it. I 0:06:08.839 --> 0:06:10.440 was just like, yeah, that's just the way it goes. 0:06:10.480 --> 0:06:13.279 Like I think I grappled with this early on when Amy, 0:06:14.640 --> 0:06:17.279 when Amy Schumer like blew up, and you know, we 0:06:17.320 --> 0:06:19.039 had all been kind of like on the same level. 0:06:19.120 --> 0:06:21.359 She was always kind of like skyrocketing ever since I 0:06:21.400 --> 0:06:23.240 met her, But when she reached the levels of like 0:06:23.320 --> 0:06:25.520 train wreck and stuff, I just remember being like, there's 0:06:25.520 --> 0:06:27.560 not even a jealous there's not even anything I can 0:06:27.680 --> 0:06:30.960 let in my body of jealousy or like why her 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:34.200 not me? Like it's so on a different level that 0:06:34.320 --> 0:06:37.599 like I don't even ca it's like comparing yourself to 0:06:38.720 --> 0:06:41.200 Neil Armstrong, Like it truly felt like I just I'm 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:43.120 friends with someone who's doing something different than me, even 0:06:43.120 --> 0:06:46.039 though we're in the same field. So having those kinds 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:48.960 of moments is really cool when they come through and you're. 0:06:48.800 --> 0:06:49.719 Like, oh, whoa, that's me. 0:06:49.920 --> 0:06:52.839 Now, okay, so someone else is looking at my profile 0:06:52.920 --> 0:06:54.360 going well, that'll never be me. 0:06:54.520 --> 0:06:57.240 I'm telling you, girl, it could be you don't even 0:06:57.279 --> 0:06:59.600 fucking know. You don't know anything. 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:05.960 You know, sh someone pretty stupid and give some Yeah, yeah. 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:08.599 You're you're not smart and you need to Yeah, you 0:07:08.600 --> 0:07:08.880 need know. 0:07:09.320 --> 0:07:11.480 The rolex is amazing. I don't I've never had a 0:07:11.560 --> 0:07:13.640 nice watch. In fact, for my wedding even I didn't 0:07:13.680 --> 0:07:15.760 even wear a watch because when I bought my suit 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:18.800 from the suit lady, she said, because I wear that 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:22.320 like Cassio watch all the time, and she said, if 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:24.600 you wear that watch while wearing this suit, I'm not 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:26.679 going to give you the suit. And so I didn't 0:07:26.680 --> 0:07:29.480 wear a watch at all. And I would have borne 0:07:29.480 --> 0:07:32.000 this rolex for sure if I hadn't at the time. 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:33.880 Now you could get like really married. 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:36.720 Yeah you need to get to and remarried. I think 0:07:36.720 --> 0:07:38.520 that's what this calls for, truly. 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:40.440 But yeah, I mean it's amazing. I can't wait to 0:07:40.520 --> 0:07:43.360 wear it at the next Golden Globe. 0:07:43.760 --> 0:07:48.560 Yeah, Like I was wearing it with like a hoodie 0:07:48.560 --> 0:07:50.240 and I felt like, you know, like, oh my god, 0:07:50.280 --> 0:07:53.280 I'm like a tech billionaire. This is incredible, Like, look 0:07:53.280 --> 0:07:54.640 at how dressed down I am. 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:59.720 Yeah, it does make frue. It's fun. It was really fun. 0:07:59.800 --> 0:08:02.760 I'm I'm not saying that to I'm just was like 0:08:02.840 --> 0:08:05.360 excited about this weekend. I just like, it's really fun 0:08:05.400 --> 0:08:07.800 to give gifts. Do you guys like getting gifts or 0:08:07.840 --> 0:08:12.200 giving gifts more? And well, like, I know it sounds 0:08:12.240 --> 0:08:13.560 like I'm a hero or something because I'm like, I 0:08:13.640 --> 0:08:17.000 just like giving, but I think getting gifts can be 0:08:17.080 --> 0:08:18.080 truly uncomfortable. 0:08:18.240 --> 0:08:20.840 And you also had a reason to give it, right, 0:08:20.960 --> 0:08:22.680 Like it wasn't kind of you want to like put 0:08:22.720 --> 0:08:25.000 on the spot, and it was like, you know, like 0:08:25.240 --> 0:08:26.000 a reward. 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:27.520 Yeah. 0:08:27.560 --> 0:08:30.320 They were just like living one more year like their birthday, 0:08:30.400 --> 0:08:32.600 you know, like bright To me, it's just like, sorry, that's. 0:08:32.480 --> 0:08:33.319 Not like good enough. 0:08:33.640 --> 0:08:37.280 It's like because you like are like you you deserve 0:08:37.520 --> 0:08:38.520 you worked so hard. 0:08:38.720 --> 0:08:40.960 Yeah, a gift as a work reward is like I 0:08:40.960 --> 0:08:42.400 think one of the best types of gifts. 0:08:43.200 --> 0:08:46.000 Yeah, I agree, Like it was like, oh my god, 0:08:46.160 --> 0:08:47.720 like we went above and beyond. 0:08:47.760 --> 0:08:48.520 This is amazing. 0:08:48.679 --> 0:08:52.240 Well, I got a work gift today too, oddly enough 0:08:52.280 --> 0:08:53.120 from another person. 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:55.480 I gave this same gift to uh. 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:59.920 He sent this before he even got his, But my 0:09:00.160 --> 0:09:07.160 gibbons are uh. 0:09:04.840 --> 0:09:07.320 Our head writer on on the the Globes. 0:09:07.480 --> 0:09:10.640 He sent Chris and I the Stanley Tucci like I 0:09:10.679 --> 0:09:13.760 think the New Yorker did a Stanley Tucci cartoon. 0:09:14.040 --> 0:09:15.320 You know, of like the cologne. 0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:18.920 Maybe it was the magazine, but he had that framed 0:09:18.920 --> 0:09:23.400 and sent to us. Ah, like the cologne, which was 0:09:23.440 --> 0:09:25.360 called what was it called again? 0:09:26.480 --> 0:09:27.480 Why am I drawing a blank? 0:09:29.679 --> 0:09:30.000 Oh? Uh? 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:30.959 Oh? 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:36.880 You know? It was actually ballroom Salmon, which was let 0:09:36.920 --> 0:09:40.559 me say, Seth Myers joke. Who gave Seth Myers gave 0:09:40.640 --> 0:09:44.360 us that line of ballroom Salmon because he had been 0:09:44.400 --> 0:09:47.199 maybe flirting with doing another bit with us, and he 0:09:47.679 --> 0:09:50.000 had just written that or texted it or something, and 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:52.000 we all left at ballroom Salmon and I wrote him 0:09:52.000 --> 0:09:53.640 and I said, hey, we're not doing that bit where 0:09:53.679 --> 0:09:56.760 you riffed that, but can we use ballroom salmon somewhere else? 0:09:56.800 --> 0:09:59.480 And he was like, go, go for it. He's so funny. 0:09:59.760 --> 0:10:02.880 So that's kind of how things get made sometimes. 0:10:03.120 --> 0:10:05.280 Yeah, that's the process. Remember how we were talking about 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:05.960 that yesterday? 0:10:06.080 --> 0:10:10.000 Oh, yeah, so sorry, Okay, so it's from the eastern 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:15.040 tip of Italy where this type of joke writing comes from, 0:10:15.280 --> 0:10:17.720 and we used a little bit of Fort Lauderdale flare, 0:10:18.000 --> 0:10:20.160 like I'm sorry. That's what that bothered me was that 0:10:20.520 --> 0:10:23.120 the dish that was being made was like they said, 0:10:23.160 --> 0:10:25.439 it was like from a part of Italy or whatever, 0:10:25.520 --> 0:10:29.679 or from you know, like a part of Turkey or something, 0:10:30.200 --> 0:10:31.960 and like the region that I've never heard of. 0:10:32.280 --> 0:10:35.160 And then they go, but we used a little local. 0:10:34.920 --> 0:10:37.720 Flare with it, and it's like, well you fort Lauderdale, 0:10:37.960 --> 0:10:42.600 Like yeah, that's what's the opposite of elevates the dish. 0:10:43.400 --> 0:10:45.640 You have to use the word local when it's about 0:10:45.679 --> 0:10:46.800 Fort Lauderdale. 0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:53.040 I can't say yeah, I yeah. 0:10:53.080 --> 0:10:58.679 The homicide SPF of forty five, it just it was 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:03.280 I'm still I'm still feeling regretful that I'm making fun 0:11:03.280 --> 0:11:04.880 of that, because I think some people do care. 0:11:04.960 --> 0:11:06.680 But I also saying this weekend. 0:11:07.840 --> 0:11:10.560 It's almost like a hack meme at this point, to 0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:13.800 make fun of the paragraphs of writing that comes before 0:11:14.160 --> 0:11:17.400 a recipe when you find it online, no one reads it. 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:21.720 Why does presses jump to the recipe? Which I learned 0:11:21.720 --> 0:11:25.000 from Julie Glazer. By the way, really, I didn't realize 0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:27.360 that there was a tab that says jump to the recipe. 0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:29.160 You could skip all of it pretty fast until I 0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:30.480 talk to your mom and she's like. 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:33.400 I wish there was a tab on a waiter's head 0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:38.120 to skip to bringing this to me, skip to putting 0:11:38.120 --> 0:11:41.839 it down and leaving. Also, here's another pave of restaurants. 0:11:41.880 --> 0:11:44.280 What a fucking bitch, I am. I'm so sorry you 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:46.760 work in the restaurant industry and you're like, we're trying 0:11:46.760 --> 0:11:48.560 our best and these are actual things we have to 0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:52.439 do unless or we'll get docked pay or written up. 0:11:52.360 --> 0:11:54.040 Because I know some places are so dumb. 0:11:54.480 --> 0:11:57.000 But okay, so if you're ordering a bunch of dishes 0:11:57.240 --> 0:12:03.400 at a restaurant and they come over and like, why 0:12:03.520 --> 0:12:05.880 is it that they never know where? Okay, this is 0:12:06.000 --> 0:12:07.600 I'm gonna get so much push back because people are 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:10.320 gonna be like, we have enough to remember we why 0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:12.920 does the persons bring them never know where they're going? 0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:14.800 And they always and this is this is also a 0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:17.760 problem I have with people I'm dining with. Everyone always 0:12:17.840 --> 0:12:20.120 kind of doesn't know what they ordered, and I can 0:12:20.160 --> 0:12:22.680 see my plate, I can tell it from beneath my plate, 0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:24.880 the weight of it, what it is, and I go 0:12:25.120 --> 0:12:29.160 me right away. But sometimes they'll be like the enchilada, 0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:32.000 the chicken enchiladas, and everyone will look at each other 0:12:32.120 --> 0:12:36.720 like a murder mystery, like who done? It's five seconds, 0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:39.160 which is too bunch of silence, until someone's like, I 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:42.960 guess that's mine, and it's like you just ordered, are 0:12:43.000 --> 0:12:45.520 you're not hungry and thinking about this like put it 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:46.559 and then they. 0:12:46.360 --> 0:12:47.040 Put set it down. 0:12:47.200 --> 0:12:49.160 And sometimes I just wish they just set it all 0:12:49.200 --> 0:12:51.760 down and then let us all kind of distribute it 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:55.079 because the hovering and the questioning just slows things down. 0:12:55.400 --> 0:12:55.760 Mm hmm. 0:12:56.120 --> 0:12:58.880 I will say, I know, I think about this quite 0:12:58.880 --> 0:13:01.480 often because I always try to give like a pause 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:04.240 in that moment because I feel like I'm just fat 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:06.920 enough where I can't be so excited to be like 0:13:07.360 --> 0:13:12.079 that was fine. 0:13:12.240 --> 0:13:15.120 Okay, So you're fat enough that like you don't want 0:13:15.160 --> 0:13:17.199 to be the guy who jumps the gun on like 0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:20.360 hearing any foods, and then everyone at the table's like, wow, 0:13:20.400 --> 0:13:22.560 Sean's so fatty, just like every dishes. 0:13:23.400 --> 0:13:25.319 Yeah, we have the bacon cheese. 0:13:25.400 --> 0:13:32.080 That's fine, that's so adorable because it you know, that 0:13:32.200 --> 0:13:34.079 is a really good point. I have to factor in 0:13:34.120 --> 0:13:37.320 that people are like cautious of how they might be 0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:42.239 perceived in different circumstances, Like that is a very interesting 0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:45.120 detail of your personality that I did not think about. 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:47.240 But I also have that with different things where I'm like, 0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:49.800 everyone assumes I'm like this, so I can't. You know, 0:13:49.840 --> 0:13:51.880 it's the karaoke place where they kept putting in my 0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:56.320 comedy bits in the title of the person's I felt 0:13:56.400 --> 0:13:58.280 so narcissistic. 0:13:57.720 --> 0:13:58.400 Thinking that was me. 0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:00.280 But I will say the other thing I feel this 0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:02.640 weekend so hard and I was so embarrassed, but then 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:05.960 I redeemed myself was we were driving, like you know, 0:14:06.440 --> 0:14:09.120 like how I always have like, well, actually fun fact 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:11.760 dumpster is a brand name, and then everyone goes. 0:14:11.640 --> 0:14:13.840 No, it's not, and I go check it, Yes it is. 0:14:13.880 --> 0:14:16.400 And I just like school everyone because I read something 0:14:16.480 --> 0:14:18.240 late at night on Reddit that I retained for once 0:14:18.240 --> 0:14:21.520 in my life, and I like stake my whole identity 0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:25.040 on these little factoids. But so I had one this 0:14:25.160 --> 0:14:28.600 weekend that was like we were talking about the Nike logo. No, 0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:31.040 we were talking about forget where we were talking about 0:14:31.080 --> 0:14:34.280 Larry Bird or something like a white guy in the NBA, 0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:36.440 and I was like, oh, you know, the Nike logo 0:14:36.640 --> 0:14:39.480 is like, not Jordan, It's like some random white guy 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:43.040 from the eighties. And everyone was like like quietly but 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:45.080 like they they were all like, we're not gonna like 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:49.040 tell her she's wrong because we're scared of her. But 0:14:49.080 --> 0:14:51.240 that's not right. And then someone finally was like, I 0:14:51.280 --> 0:14:54.160 think it's Michael Jordan. I'm like, no, it's actually someone 0:14:54.240 --> 0:14:57.040 a white guy from the eighties, and everyone's like no, 0:14:57.240 --> 0:14:59.240 and then everyone looks it up and it's like very clear, 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:00.480 and then I look it up a I'm like, shit, 0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:01.080 it's Jordan. 0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:03.400 What am I getting this from? What is this? 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:06.440 And then I was like, you guys, I swear to God, 0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:09.040 there is some logo that everyone thinks it is Jordan 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:12.160 and is not, I promise you. And it turns out 0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:15.040 it's the NBA logo. So I was redeemed. 0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:19.640 Thank fucking god. Jerry West. It's Jerry West and he's 0:15:19.640 --> 0:15:23.640 not a random handler. But the NBA. 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:25.720 Logo is like a guy like dribbling and he's kind 0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:27.760 of like, you know, he's not the it's not the 0:15:27.840 --> 0:15:29.040 dunk Jordan. 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:33.040 Yeah, but this the swoosh. The swoosh is actually. 0:15:32.880 --> 0:15:37.640 Uh, it's a white guy's canoe, and everyone thinks it's 0:15:38.280 --> 0:15:40.040 the swoosh is just a swoosh. 0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:45.280 No, no, it's a canoe. The swoosh is an Indian 0:15:45.360 --> 0:15:52.160 sign of peace. But yeah, I got I the. 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:55.560 Reason similarly, the reason why I don't announce that that's 0:15:55.600 --> 0:15:57.560 my dishes because I don't want to be wrong because 0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:00.200 sometimes they come out and they say something that you 0:16:00.240 --> 0:16:02.680 didn't that wasn't on the menu, like if you ordered like. 0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:04.640 Or they call it the official name. 0:16:04.760 --> 0:16:07.160 Exactly, and you know, I ordered a you know, like 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:10.000 a French onion soup. And then they come out and 0:16:10.000 --> 0:16:13.080 they say, did someone order like the onion paste? 0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:16.560 And I have to wait, yeah, yeah, like if you 0:16:16.720 --> 0:16:19.960 if they're like nacho ordinary nachos, you're like, but I 0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:22.560 think I ordered ordinary nachos, so you get like. 0:16:23.040 --> 0:16:25.880 Right, That is just a weird moment where everyone is 0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:28.120 just kind of looking at each other like did is 0:16:28.160 --> 0:16:31.920 it you? Like I just and then they're kind of 0:16:31.920 --> 0:16:35.000 everyone's kind of like scared to speak up about Like 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:37.880 I just start clocking it because I think it happens 0:16:37.880 --> 0:16:41.080 to everyone where everyone's a little bit nervous but maybe 0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:43.200 it's because we all don't want to see seem over 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:47.040 eager and fat like gimmy, gimmy, feel like anything. 0:16:49.000 --> 0:16:51.960 Yeah, I often think like when food hasn't come out 0:16:52.240 --> 0:16:54.200 in a really long time and you're like waiting at 0:16:54.200 --> 0:16:56.520 the table for a really long time, I'm like, I 0:16:56.600 --> 0:16:58.960 really have done the math on this that, like I 0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:03.440 can't ask where the food is wait, wait, like I. 0:17:03.680 --> 0:17:05.679 Because you're too fat to ask. 0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:11.600 Yeah, like, oh, this guy thinks he's starving to death. 0:17:13.240 --> 0:17:15.639 Oh my god, Okay. 0:17:15.800 --> 0:17:20.800 I will say similarly, when I was super thin, I 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:24.080 would I could never say I didn't want to eat anything, 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:27.040 because I would think that everyone thought I was being anorexic. 0:17:27.520 --> 0:17:29.600 So like I would always have to eat anything that 0:17:29.680 --> 0:17:32.399 anyone ever gave me because I would always fear that 0:17:32.440 --> 0:17:35.399 they would be like, she's just like being sneaky and weird, 0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:36.600 and then they would. 0:17:36.440 --> 0:17:37.760 Judge me and talk about me behind my back. 0:17:37.800 --> 0:17:40.159 So I would always like overeat in front of people 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:44.159 to prove the opposite. So it's really it's a similar thing. 0:17:44.200 --> 0:17:45.719 It's like you're just trying to get ahead of what 0:17:45.720 --> 0:17:47.639 people are going to say. But I would never in 0:17:47.720 --> 0:17:51.120 a million years if you were checking on food be like, man, 0:17:51.200 --> 0:17:54.440 he's so fat he can't eat well. 0:17:55.200 --> 0:17:57.560 I'm also I'm not worried about like the babe amount 0:17:57.560 --> 0:17:59.679 of table with I'm worried about like the waiter being like, 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:04.320 here's a fat guy that. 0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:06.840 They just start like roasting my ass behind my back. 0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:09.720 I'm so worried about what people think about me behind 0:18:09.720 --> 0:18:11.560 my back that I don't care what they say to 0:18:11.600 --> 0:18:12.560 me to my Okay. 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:14.399 Do you want to know though, Like if you could 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:18.879 have a recording of like the cook the waiters talking 0:18:18.880 --> 0:18:20.800 to the chef about you, if you knew what happened, 0:18:20.840 --> 0:18:21.639 would you want to hear it? 0:18:22.040 --> 0:18:23.680 I don't think so that. 0:18:23.800 --> 0:18:25.639 It's like my worst and my worst fear is like 0:18:25.680 --> 0:18:27.240 confirs God, yeah. 0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:29.800 Okay, got let's go to break it. 0:18:29.840 --> 0:18:31.560 I'm going to tell you a thing I told everyone 0:18:31.600 --> 0:18:33.560 this weekend that I want to just get your I 0:18:33.560 --> 0:18:35.480 went Brian and know it away in on what. 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:37.200