WEBVTT - Mensch on a Float Bench 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:05.480 Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a 0:00:05.480 --> 0:00:09.280 week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:12.920 the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats 0:00:12.960 --> 0:00:15.800 crackheads in the Ghetto Cutter the same as the rich 0:00:15.880 --> 0:00:19.880 pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot 0:00:19.920 --> 0:00:23.639 takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with 0:00:23.800 --> 0:00:33.400 Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere. We're 0:00:33.520 --> 0:00:39.040 back at it again on a Saturday, the final full weekend, 0:00:39.320 --> 0:00:43.240 in fact, the final weekend of The Fifth Hour with 0:00:43.400 --> 0:00:49.159 Ben Mallord and Dainty g Radio back on a Saturday. 0:00:49.159 --> 0:00:53.680 I hope you enjoyed the holiday music from Friday. I 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:55.240 had fun out. That was a lot of work, though, 0:00:55.280 --> 0:00:57.640 Danny right, A lot of work for you were all 0:00:57.680 --> 0:01:00.560 over it, Roberto and Coope, and there were a lot 0:01:00.600 --> 0:01:03.800 of moving parts. I was very skeptical whether or not 0:01:03.840 --> 0:01:05.440 we were actually gonna be able to pull that off. 0:01:05.440 --> 0:01:07.679 But a great job by everybody putting that together. And 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:11.120 you spent a lot of time helping to put everything 0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:13.760 where it needed to be, so I do appreciate that 0:01:13.880 --> 0:01:16.520 making that happen. I gotta say, man, that's one of 0:01:16.560 --> 0:01:19.960 the best Christmas specials I've ever been a part of. Yeah, 0:01:20.000 --> 0:01:22.720 definitely a team effort. So shouts out to everybody that 0:01:22.800 --> 0:01:26.040 made that happen, and of course the Mallard Militia members 0:01:26.040 --> 0:01:29.760 who sang those wonderful Christmas songs. Yeah, some very talented people. 0:01:29.800 --> 0:01:32.600 And so thank you guys again. And I understand we 0:01:32.680 --> 0:01:34.800 got a few more that actually came in over the weekend, 0:01:34.800 --> 0:01:38.440 but unfortunately, uh, it's already made the special. We're not 0:01:38.440 --> 0:01:42.280 adding more songs. We've already made the special. But but 0:01:42.400 --> 0:01:44.680 we do thank you guys for continuing to send in 0:01:45.240 --> 0:01:48.200 the holiday tunes. One of the guys who just sent 0:01:48.240 --> 0:01:50.560 one in over the weekend that wasn't in the holiday 0:01:50.680 --> 0:01:53.920 uh show on Friday, said that he was just recording 0:01:53.920 --> 0:01:57.200 it in his bathroom on his iPhone. So the quality 0:01:57.240 --> 0:02:01.360 of this, Danny g unbelievable believe. But just imagine remember 0:02:01.400 --> 0:02:03.560 when we had a radio. We were young guys, and 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:04.560 you had to go with the It was like a 0:02:04.600 --> 0:02:07.680 lot of equipment, professional equipment. You couldn't do this stuff 0:02:07.720 --> 0:02:11.760 at home. But now you have a studio in your house. 0:02:11.800 --> 0:02:14.120 It's unbelievable. You have a in your phone, you have 0:02:14.160 --> 0:02:17.160 a studio. It's crazy. Then I remember when kids would 0:02:17.160 --> 0:02:21.200 line up at Great America in Santa Clara, California to 0:02:21.560 --> 0:02:25.400 record at one of those makeshift studios that they put 0:02:25.440 --> 0:02:29.359 inside the amusement park where you could record to your 0:02:29.440 --> 0:02:34.600 favorite instrumental. So there were girls singing tiffany, uh, you know, 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:37.119 thinking they had wonderful voices, and they would just put 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:40.000 tons of reverb on the girl's voice and be like 0:02:40.080 --> 0:02:42.680 you could be a star too. I think they would 0:02:42.720 --> 0:02:46.040 charge each kid like bucks for a record. Did you 0:02:46.080 --> 0:02:48.280 ever have a Mr microphone when you were a kid. 0:02:48.280 --> 0:02:51.240 Were you really get one of those uh that cheeseball 0:02:51.320 --> 0:02:53.360 toy I had? I had one of those things. I 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:55.919 think my mom was too broken. She also pointed out 0:02:55.960 --> 0:02:59.239 that she thought it would break. Definitely, it definitely would break, 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:03.520 but it was you could like broadcast on the radio, 0:03:03.680 --> 0:03:07.800 like it came across on your radio. It's really I 0:03:07.800 --> 0:03:09.680 think I'm thinkuring of the MR microphone I had. I 0:03:09.760 --> 0:03:11.720 had some kind of device when I was a kid 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:14.040 that I had gotten that you could turn it on 0:03:14.120 --> 0:03:16.320 like the FM dial and it would come through the 0:03:16.360 --> 0:03:19.040 speakers like something like that. So I think that was 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:21.480 a MR microphone. Maybe not, I'm sure none of those 0:03:21.520 --> 0:03:25.160 waves went through your brain either No, no, not at all. 0:03:26.240 --> 0:03:30.720 Not Actually, before we started rolling on the podcast full disclosure. 0:03:31.120 --> 0:03:35.800 So I fell down a rabbit hole. I popped up 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:40.240 on the YouTube and I was watching a nineteen eighties 0:03:40.280 --> 0:03:44.640 six NBC game of the week, the Red Sox and 0:03:44.680 --> 0:03:46.800 the Yankees. This just popped up, and so I started 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:50.120 watching it, right, and I'm watching this thing and the 0:03:50.240 --> 0:03:53.960 interviewed George Steinbrenner, the you know, legendary owner of the 0:03:54.000 --> 0:03:56.160 Yankees in that era, and it was the funniest thing, 0:03:56.240 --> 0:03:59.200 Danny looking at where the world is now? And I 0:03:59.200 --> 0:04:01.520 watched I probably second when I was a kid, but 0:04:02.120 --> 0:04:05.600 watching it now and seeing like Steinbrenner say, you know, 0:04:05.680 --> 0:04:08.080 my top guy in the Yankees is getting one point 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:12.119 six million, and for that kind of money, you expect win, 0:04:12.480 --> 0:04:15.360 you know, and you expect criticism and and and then 0:04:15.400 --> 0:04:18.119 he was talking to Joe Garashi Old and so passed 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:20.440 away a few years ago, but the legendary broadcaster who 0:04:20.480 --> 0:04:23.240 was a player, and Steinbrenners complaining to him. He says, 0:04:23.240 --> 0:04:25.520 these players today aren't like you. Guys played for the 0:04:25.560 --> 0:04:28.520 love of the game, and these players today they show 0:04:28.600 --> 0:04:31.880 up with their briefcase and their agent right behind him, 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:34.040 and it was it was just hilarious looking at where 0:04:34.040 --> 0:04:36.680 the salaries are now and all these guys are long gone. 0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:40.640 But the highest guy in the Yankees is Garrett Cole, 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:43.280 who's got to be around thirty five million, maybe a 0:04:43.279 --> 0:04:46.640 little more than that. I don't know. I just famdomly 0:04:46.880 --> 0:04:48.680 things that popping your head, Danny, when you know the 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:52.359 guys today wipe their butt with those old contracts. I remember, 0:04:52.400 --> 0:04:55.120 being a small kid. I think it was Dave Winfield 0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:59.320 who made the million dollar contract. I don't look at Winfield. 0:04:59.360 --> 0:05:02.120 There was like, was it Nolan Ryan, Kirby Park, I 0:05:02.200 --> 0:05:04.799 remember Kirby Pucket at one point was last bad Winfield 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:07.800 got a big contract. I remember when Winfield got a 0:05:07.839 --> 0:05:10.479 big contract and it was on the news and my 0:05:10.600 --> 0:05:14.920 grandmother was cursing out the TV. Yeah, because she thought 0:05:15.000 --> 0:05:19.080 it was outrageous to play a kid's game. And she 0:05:19.160 --> 0:05:21.839 also was the kind of lady who bitched constantly about 0:05:21.880 --> 0:05:25.360 gas prices. Yeah, well i'm i'm, I'm I'm sharen. Didn't 0:05:25.640 --> 0:05:28.120 like that woman. I complained about gas prices all the time. 0:05:28.200 --> 0:05:31.440 I hated uh and I get gas a lot, but uh, 0:05:31.880 --> 0:05:33.960 let me let me also but that's one of those things. 0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:36.960 Like watching that Steinbrenner rant. It triggered like a light 0:05:37.000 --> 0:05:40.680 bulb in my head because my entire life. I remember 0:05:40.680 --> 0:05:43.800 when I started covering the NBA in the nineties and 0:05:43.839 --> 0:05:46.360 this is like, yeah, you know mid nights, and then 0:05:46.400 --> 0:05:49.640 Iverson came in after that and Chris Webber and guys 0:05:49.720 --> 0:05:52.200 used to rip those guys and the older generation beyond 0:05:52.360 --> 0:05:55.960 these players today are soft and now we fast forward. 0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:59.120 And then it was after that generation. It was like 0:05:59.160 --> 0:06:02.039 the Kobe Jet aeration that came in, and then it 0:06:02.120 --> 0:06:04.960 was that generation ripping the old generation. And now we're 0:06:05.120 --> 0:06:07.520 it's the same. It's the same thing. It just like 0:06:07.720 --> 0:06:11.120 the circle of life, and in sports it just continues 0:06:11.200 --> 0:06:13.840 like whoever's doing it now doesn't do it as good 0:06:13.880 --> 0:06:16.360 as the old people, and then when they're the old people, 0:06:16.640 --> 0:06:19.120 they then complain about who's doing it now. So it's 0:06:19.120 --> 0:06:23.280 a wonderful thing. Anyway. On this edition of The Fifth Hour, 0:06:23.760 --> 0:06:26.320 we have a couple of random things, so this is 0:06:26.360 --> 0:06:30.240 the Life of Mallard edition. We've got the strapper, the 0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:35.960 coke bottle, hairy situation, the Christmas party and chim Chimminy 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:40.080 and whatever else pops up. Alright, so we'll get right 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:43.040 into it. So I what a wonderful weekend. I put 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:46.720 some photographs up on Instagram and Facebook. I hope you 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:48.440 guys got to see it last weekend if you want 0:06:48.480 --> 0:06:51.000 to check that out and snoop around on what I 0:06:51.040 --> 0:06:54.640 was doing. But I got the play dress up. I 0:06:54.720 --> 0:06:58.160 do this every year once a year, and I had 0:06:58.200 --> 0:07:01.560 a wonderful time. It's a yearly tradition like the swallows 0:07:01.560 --> 0:07:05.600 returning to Capistrano or Punksitani Phil coming out to see 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:09.600 his shadow, and uh so I played it was Mallard Clause. 0:07:10.080 --> 0:07:13.520 Mallard Claus always see pictures of this every year. Yeah. 0:07:13.640 --> 0:07:15.760 So it was a lot of fun. So me and 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:18.480 the wife headed out to this magical town. I cannot 0:07:18.480 --> 0:07:20.920 say which town it is, but we went into a 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:25.120 trailer and I put on the st nick outfit. Become 0:07:25.120 --> 0:07:26.760 pretty good at this. I've done it a long time now, 0:07:26.800 --> 0:07:28.720 so I know how to put the boots on the 0:07:28.720 --> 0:07:31.840 whole thing. I'll tell everybody it's for the kids in Compton. 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:37.360 Yes exactly. Yes. So I climbed up the fire truck 0:07:38.480 --> 0:07:42.760 a a real real strapper. Uh yeah, because I got 0:07:42.800 --> 0:07:44.880 strapped to the chair. They had to strap me in. 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:47.960 They didn't want me flying. How devastating would that have 0:07:48.000 --> 0:07:50.280 been to the kids? If if Santa goes flying off 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:53.600 the fire truck and dies, Uh, that would have that 0:07:53.640 --> 0:07:56.520 would have been a problem. But it went out, It 0:07:56.560 --> 0:07:58.800 went off without a blast. I mean a great time. 0:07:59.080 --> 0:08:00.920 It's it's combination. I said. Every year, it's like the 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:04.840 Rose Parade with the Disneyland electrical Parade. Do they even 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:07.440 have the electrical parade anymore? Is that old news? Is that? Like, 0:08:07.480 --> 0:08:11.000 am I dating myself due to COVID? Or at least 0:08:11.080 --> 0:08:14.440 they've blamed it on that Disneyland is not doing their 0:08:14.640 --> 0:08:18.640 usual parades they do like little mini parades. Now, Oh really, 0:08:18.680 --> 0:08:20.920 I didn't know. I was never a big parade. I 0:08:20.920 --> 0:08:22.280 mean I remember when I was a kid and I went. 0:08:22.360 --> 0:08:24.400 My mom wanted to see the electrical parade and see 0:08:24.400 --> 0:08:26.920 all the stuff, and I actually I wanted to hang 0:08:26.920 --> 0:08:28.720 out in the magic shop. I thought I was gonna 0:08:28.720 --> 0:08:31.760 be a professional magician when I was Well, everybody knows 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:35.880 ben you get COVID from parades. Yes, yes, and uh, 0:08:36.040 --> 0:08:38.959 it's good to know that the state of California this week. 0:08:39.000 --> 0:08:41.400 But the mask mandate because the mask works so well 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:43.840 so why don't we bring it back and mandate everyone 0:08:44.480 --> 0:08:48.400 It hadn't ended. I don't even understanding it had. It 0:08:48.480 --> 0:08:51.680 hadn't not not where you are, where I am, it 0:08:51.720 --> 0:08:55.560 had ended and it wasn't required. Oh, most people still 0:08:55.600 --> 0:08:57.360 wore the mask. But where I was living, you know, 0:08:57.360 --> 0:08:59.520 where I've been living, they don't, you know, that require 0:09:00.200 --> 0:09:02.199 the mess. But I don't think they're really enforcing this. 0:09:02.440 --> 0:09:05.120 So I try to avoid going out anyway because I 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:07.120 don't like to see people, so I don't really go 0:09:07.160 --> 0:09:09.320 out much. But I don't think they're enforcing it very 0:09:09.360 --> 0:09:11.760 much anyway. By so I I played, you know, Santa 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:14.400 Claus through the whole thing, hawking, the horns were hawking, 0:09:14.440 --> 0:09:17.160 the science, the sirens were going. Did it seem like 0:09:17.200 --> 0:09:20.360 a normal pre COVID parade route? You know it did. 0:09:20.440 --> 0:09:23.640 It's it's very very similar to I went on the 0:09:23.679 --> 0:09:26.040 same There's there's a it's a pretty big city, the 0:09:26.040 --> 0:09:29.280 city that I do this in, and so there's there's 0:09:29.280 --> 0:09:32.000 different routes or routes depending on where you grew up. 0:09:32.000 --> 0:09:35.640 And so I on this route. We went in the 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:40.360 in the foothills, and so it was very cold and 0:09:40.400 --> 0:09:43.679 it had just rained all day So the only complaint 0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:47.840 that I have is in the Santa suit, I'm not 0:09:48.040 --> 0:09:49.839 as fat as I used to be. I don't have 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:54.160 the insulation that I had at one point, and so 0:09:54.440 --> 0:09:59.440 it got California cold, and California cold is not really cold, 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:00.839 it's just cal for you cold. But it was in 0:10:00.880 --> 0:10:04.479 the high thirties up in the hills and you're outside 0:10:04.480 --> 0:10:08.760 strapped to a fire truck for three hours and you're 0:10:08.840 --> 0:10:11.760 you're by the end of the night. Uh. We were 0:10:11.800 --> 0:10:13.679 going back to the place where I was going to 0:10:13.760 --> 0:10:15.920 get off the fire truck. I could not feel my fingers. 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:18.640 I I literally felt like I was Frosty the Snowman 0:10:18.840 --> 0:10:22.800 as I was coming coming off the fire truck. And uh. 0:10:22.840 --> 0:10:24.960 And the other thing that I would point out is 0:10:25.000 --> 0:10:28.320 it it was not all perfect because I did somewhere 0:10:28.360 --> 0:10:31.040 along the parade route in my haste to be a 0:10:31.040 --> 0:10:34.040 good Santa and wave at everyone that came running out 0:10:34.040 --> 0:10:37.000 of their house to see Santa on the fire truck. Uh. 0:10:37.040 --> 0:10:40.680 I somehow lost my Fitbit tracker that I have my 0:10:40.760 --> 0:10:44.160 fitness tracker, but flying off the truck, I don't know 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:48.400 where I'm never seeing that again. So that that was 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:51.319 didn't know anybody had a fit bit anymore, and I 0:10:51.360 --> 0:10:54.560 don't have one anymore either. It's gone. I liked it 0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:56.240 though I had. It has stop Watch on it, but 0:10:56.280 --> 0:10:59.760 I I've already replaced it, so to the Amazon. But 0:11:00.480 --> 0:11:04.000 I was gonna say, Santa's gonna have to hook up Santa. No. 0:11:04.040 --> 0:11:08.480 I I sacrificed so I could give the joy of 0:11:08.600 --> 0:11:10.880 having someone on a fire truck wave at you. But 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:13.640 it was it was and some some blocks we would 0:11:13.679 --> 0:11:15.920 go down and there'd be nobody, and then other blocks 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:18.959 like they be whole parties of like fifty people coming 0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:21.720 out in their long to see Santa. And at one 0:11:21.760 --> 0:11:23.520 point it was a lot of fun. There were these 0:11:23.559 --> 0:11:25.559 kids thing because there's no real snow they were throwing 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:29.480 fake snowballs, these little, these little foam things. So I, 0:11:29.679 --> 0:11:32.240 of course, being evil Santa, I was taking them and 0:11:32.320 --> 0:11:36.880 throwing them back at the kids that were throwing the things. 0:11:37.000 --> 0:11:40.319 I was a lot of fun. Move Yeah, it was 0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:44.000 like the people doing that. It was like the famous 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:47.400 trope of Philadelphia. You know, are you they threw snowballs 0:11:47.400 --> 0:11:50.760 at Santa Claus. Yeah. Well, my favorite Santa is Billy 0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:56.080 Bob Thornton, so right in that arena. Oh sure, absolutely 0:11:56.080 --> 0:11:59.079 on that. So so that was my Santa. And when 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:01.800 I mentioned Santa, I bring this story up from time 0:12:01.840 --> 0:12:06.760 to time, but the whole Santa thing every year. It's 0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:08.200 probably not a lot of kids listening to this, But 0:12:08.760 --> 0:12:10.440 since I was playing Santa, I thought, you know what, 0:12:10.520 --> 0:12:14.720 I need to remind that the magical fairy tale of 0:12:14.800 --> 0:12:18.640 Santa Claus that has been molded into the zeitgeist of 0:12:18.679 --> 0:12:23.920 society is in large part because of not pepsi a 0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:27.240 coke bottle. And it's just it's still fascinates me to 0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:31.560 think about how big Santa Claus is. And if you 0:12:31.679 --> 0:12:35.960 go back to the nineteen twenties, it was a much different, 0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:40.280 much different world, like the whole legend Coca Cola. Not 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:43.400 that they invented Santa Claus, because they didn't invent Santa Claus, 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:47.400 but they did shape what the modern image of Santa 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:51.520 Claus looks like. And it's before nineteen thirty one. There 0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:54.719 were a bunch of different drawings of Santa Claus, wore 0:12:54.800 --> 0:12:57.880 different color outfits, didn't didn't know some some Santa Claus 0:12:57.920 --> 0:13:00.920 were red, but a lot of them did not, were 0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:06.040 purple blue, different colors and all that. And they they 0:13:06.040 --> 0:13:10.559 had a guy draw Santa Claus. They commissioned an illustrator 0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:14.520 and this guy in nineteen thirty one, so it's been 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:18.920 ninety years. This guy drew Santa Claus for Coca Cola 0:13:18.960 --> 0:13:24.600 advertisements and that established what is to this day what 0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:27.840 people think of as what Santa Claus looks like. Wild 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:30.560 to think of the part that is an unbelievable thing 0:13:31.240 --> 0:13:33.880 that you know, maybe somebody else would have done it eventually, 0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:37.480 but that's crazy to me. Yeah, obviously Jewish growing up, 0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:41.320 I didn't have Santa Claus other than holiday things at 0:13:41.360 --> 0:13:43.200 school and stuff like that. But when I remember as 0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:46.800 a kid, there was a Saturday Night Live this is 0:13:46.840 --> 0:13:49.120 the Hairy Situation. Do you did you ever see the 0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:55.600 skit hanaka Harry from the late eighties. Yeah, so this 0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:57.760 was like a big deal as a Jewish kid and 0:13:58.040 --> 0:14:01.400 uh and I still still finally remember and one of 0:14:01.440 --> 0:14:04.200 these days, I'm gonna get this outfit. So John Lovett's 0:14:04.920 --> 0:14:07.920 it was, I guess still around. Um he was on 0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:11.800 Saturday Night, this is probably and they did a skit 0:14:11.960 --> 0:14:15.959 the night Hanakah Harry Saved Christmas, And you know it 0:14:16.040 --> 0:14:17.640 was just back I used to watch Saturday and I 0:14:17.800 --> 0:14:19.320 have all the way all the time, back when I 0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:21.680 was a kid, and it's a big deal on the weekends, 0:14:21.720 --> 0:14:23.040 and we got to stay up late because it was 0:14:23.080 --> 0:14:25.840 on Saturday obviously, and so uh yeah, it was really 0:14:25.840 --> 0:14:28.520 funny because in the skit, John Lovett is playing Santa Claus. 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:30.560 You know, he's got the Santa outfit, but it's blue 0:14:31.960 --> 0:14:34.680 with white and he's got he's got the old you know, 0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:38.160 old man beard and all that, and he he lives 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:42.840 on Mount Sinai that's where he lives. He lives instead 0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:46.080 of the North Pole. And he comes over there and 0:14:46.080 --> 0:14:48.320 I think, if I remember correctly, he like helped out 0:14:48.440 --> 0:14:50.960 Santa Claus because there's something wrong with Santa Claus. So 0:14:51.000 --> 0:14:54.840 he he had a cart with three donkeys, and yeah, 0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:58.680 he flew around in a flying cart and Shlomo was 0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:00.000 the name of one of them. I don't remember the 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:03.000 other names, but it was. It was pretty funny. And 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:06.640 uh and now they have the well, I know my 0:15:06.720 --> 0:15:10.880 wife's family they do. They did the Santa what is 0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:13.680 the Santa on a the elf Elf on a shelf 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:17.920 right there. Yeah, and uh, I know in the Jewish 0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:20.560 culture we have Mention on the bench, which is the 0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:24.120 rip off version of Elf on the shelf, so they 0:15:24.120 --> 0:15:27.440 have that, but but no no Hanaka thing, no Hanaka Harry, 0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:29.720 but you can't get the costume online one of these areas. 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:31.440 I'm gonna do it, but I can't wear it to 0:15:31.520 --> 0:15:33.480 the whole parade thing because if if I show up 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:35.840 with the blue sand outfit, man, I'll get in trouble. 0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:38.120 They'll get very upset with me, right, and that will 0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:41.880 not go over well. I'm gonna YouTube Hanaka Harry this 0:15:41.920 --> 0:15:44.240 weekend so I can see what you're talking about. Yeah, 0:15:44.320 --> 0:15:46.600 you should check it out. Honaker Harry was on twice. 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:51.240 I'm sure it's on YouTube once in late nineteen nine 0:15:51.400 --> 0:15:54.080 and then probably the I would assume nineteen early and 0:15:54.120 --> 0:15:57.200 nine popped up. I don't think they did anything with 0:15:57.200 --> 0:15:58.760 with that. Again, I think that was it. That was 0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:00.320 the character was only on a couple of times. But 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:04.280 it's still all these years later, I still flashback to 0:16:04.440 --> 0:16:08.720 that and think fondly of of all that. So, uh, now, 0:16:08.760 --> 0:16:10.640 what's going on? Holiday party? I did? We did not 0:16:10.720 --> 0:16:13.520 have our Christmas party at the Mallard Mansion this year, unfortunately, 0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:16.240 because not because of an abundance of caution and not 0:16:16.360 --> 0:16:18.640 because of COVID Uh, no, no, no, we would have 0:16:18.680 --> 0:16:20.480 absolutely had the party, but the house is a mess 0:16:20.840 --> 0:16:22.760 and we were embarrassed and we didn't want anyone to 0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:24.240 come over and say, what are you living like this? 0:16:24.360 --> 0:16:27.200 What's wrong with you? And plus it's far away from everyone, 0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:29.080 so we wanted to wait until the house is nice 0:16:29.080 --> 0:16:31.800 and all that. But I understand that you are the 0:16:31.840 --> 0:16:33.920 man of the people there. You are out and about 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:38.520 and doing holiday parties. Is that accurate? Am I hearing incorrectly? Yeah? 0:16:38.680 --> 0:16:40.840 So I'm not proud to share this story, but I 0:16:40.840 --> 0:16:44.880 will share it because it's entertaining. Let's go back two 0:16:44.920 --> 0:16:47.640 weeks and uh, a friend of mine in the San 0:16:47.680 --> 0:16:50.840 Fernando Valley and the hills there told me, Hey, I 0:16:51.000 --> 0:16:53.800 have a party at my at my house, and uh, 0:16:54.040 --> 0:16:57.280 you know, why don't you and your lovely tenderoni come 0:16:57.680 --> 0:17:00.720 to the party. It's Saturday. So I'm like, okay, cool, 0:17:00.800 --> 0:17:03.000 sounds good. And I told him I do work at 0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:05.520 the network on Saturday, but I'm out of there at 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:08.040 like seven. She could meet me there in the valley 0:17:08.080 --> 0:17:09.840 and you know, we'll be there around eight or so 0:17:09.960 --> 0:17:12.480 eight thirty probably. He's like, yeah, that's cool. He's like, 0:17:12.560 --> 0:17:14.800 tell you what in the next couple of days, I'll 0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:18.560 forward you the digital invite. I'll text it to you 0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:20.720 that way you have a few days or whatever. And 0:17:20.720 --> 0:17:23.119 I'm like, okay, cool, perfect. Is this a house party 0:17:23.240 --> 0:17:25.760 or is this like a private party. It's a house 0:17:25.760 --> 0:17:29.639 party for like him and co workers and friends, just 0:17:30.200 --> 0:17:33.760 get together, a private get together. Yeah. I told my 0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:36.480 girl about it and she was like, sounds good. And 0:17:37.040 --> 0:17:40.399 so we spent the week last week preparing for the party. 0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:42.720 I think it was like Tuesday. I get the text 0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:45.880 from him and there's the digital flyer and I forwarded 0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:49.240 that onto my tinder RONI. We looked at both looked 0:17:49.240 --> 0:17:51.439 at the address on there, and we're like okay, and 0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:53.639 so we're we're ready now for this party. You know, 0:17:53.680 --> 0:17:57.439 we have our outfits and we coordinated it. So I'm like, okay, 0:17:57.440 --> 0:17:59.840 I'm at work. As soon as my shift is over, 0:18:00.359 --> 0:18:04.440 I'll go there to the FSR bathroom and change really quick. 0:18:04.520 --> 0:18:07.320 And she ironed a shirt for me and she brought 0:18:07.359 --> 0:18:10.800 the shirt so she Now, and you know, Ben, women 0:18:10.960 --> 0:18:15.440 spend how many hours getting ready for Christmas party? God? Yeah, yeah, yeah, guy, 0:18:15.800 --> 0:18:19.280 that's one of the biggest adjustments. And you're you're engaged 0:18:19.280 --> 0:18:22.359 and all that, Danny, so be prepared. The it's never 0:18:22.400 --> 0:18:24.560 you know, as a single man, and I was single 0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:26.920 for a long time before I met my wife. If 0:18:26.960 --> 0:18:29.840 I wanted to go somewhere within five minutes, I could 0:18:29.840 --> 0:18:32.639 get up and leave and be in the car. But 0:18:32.880 --> 0:18:35.560 it's a hole to do. It's a whole process. There's 0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:39.000 there's layers to it. It's no just wake up and go. 0:18:39.440 --> 0:18:41.520 And even to this day, like my wife will have 0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:45.040 to wake up forty minutes before I do because I'm 0:18:45.040 --> 0:18:47.560 ready to go. I'm good to go. But yeah, it's 0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:49.200 a whole And then and I get it. They want 0:18:49.200 --> 0:18:50.800 to look good and they want to, you know, get 0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:52.639 all dressed up and all dolled up and stuff for 0:18:52.680 --> 0:18:55.679 the party. And that's always nice, but you do it quicker. 0:18:56.000 --> 0:18:58.520 And in their defense, they're trying to look good for 0:18:58.560 --> 0:19:01.399 you too, because they want to be her arm candy. 0:19:01.480 --> 0:19:05.480 That's commendable, but it does take hours. And in my 0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:08.960 girls defense, on a normal date night, she could get 0:19:08.960 --> 0:19:12.920 ready pretty easily. It's not a big fiasco. In this 0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:16.119 case though for a Christmas party, no I knew she 0:19:16.240 --> 0:19:20.320 was taking the whole day. There's nails involved, there's hair, curling. 0:19:20.840 --> 0:19:26.240 There's basically the eyebrow model type makeup. I mean, it's 0:19:26.240 --> 0:19:29.960 a whole thing, glitter around the eyes, everything. So I 0:19:30.040 --> 0:19:32.480 knew this was gonna be a half a day process. 0:19:32.960 --> 0:19:35.800 But she's on time. She meets me there. There's a 0:19:35.800 --> 0:19:38.720 little bit of stress involved because I had to park 0:19:38.840 --> 0:19:41.639 a little bit aways away from the house because she 0:19:41.720 --> 0:19:43.960 has my shirt and I have to finish changing at 0:19:44.000 --> 0:19:47.720 the car. So she finally with her GPS, finds where 0:19:47.720 --> 0:19:50.320 I'm at. I get into her car, I put the 0:19:50.400 --> 0:19:53.879 dress shirt on and we both take a you know, 0:19:54.119 --> 0:19:57.040 a breath of air, and okay, let's go. We get 0:19:57.119 --> 0:20:04.600 to the house. Crickets ben nobody there. The wrong Well, 0:20:04.640 --> 0:20:08.199 that's what we're thinking. We're like, is this the wrong address? Like, 0:20:08.280 --> 0:20:11.879 I've not been to this friend's house before. You know, 0:20:11.920 --> 0:20:13.920 he hasn't lived there long. That's why I haven't been 0:20:13.920 --> 0:20:17.280 there before. So I'm like, this has got to be it. 0:20:17.359 --> 0:20:20.000 I I put it in the in both our GPS is. 0:20:20.040 --> 0:20:23.879 So we pull up the digital flyer. Well should we 0:20:23.920 --> 0:20:25.600 go up to the door, and she's like, no, no, no, 0:20:25.680 --> 0:20:28.200 let's check the flyer again. It's got to be the 0:20:28.240 --> 0:20:32.160 wrong address. Right, both pull up the flyers on our phones. 0:20:33.320 --> 0:20:39.320 The digital flyer says, December eighteen. It was the next Saturday. 0:20:39.320 --> 0:20:45.080 Oh no, so you got all Oh no, so we 0:20:45.080 --> 0:20:50.240 were there a week early, premature for the parte ready, 0:20:50.960 --> 0:20:54.800 I swear for the party. And no, it's the first 0:20:54.840 --> 0:20:59.160 time I've ever been prematured. He's a pill for that. 0:20:59.200 --> 0:21:01.600 We have an ad that will take care of that 0:21:01.680 --> 0:21:06.360 for you. That is oh my god. So so out 0:21:06.440 --> 0:21:08.280 did you say? Well, we're dressed up, we might as 0:21:08.280 --> 0:21:12.199 well go out. I tried that. It didn't work. She 0:21:12.280 --> 0:21:14.879 was piste. Yeah. I can't understand why I would be 0:21:14.920 --> 0:21:18.680 piste too. Yeah. Right, And I wasn't happy either. Um, 0:21:18.760 --> 0:21:20.640 you know, I had just come from a long work 0:21:20.720 --> 0:21:25.960