Speaker 1: Don't gossip.
Speaker 2: Next next, next one, next one, more better.
Speaker 1: Or better.
Speaker 2: Better more welcome? Sorry, you know what this is, what
Speaker 2: it is. It is what it is, guys. If you
Speaker 2: don't know by now it you don't know me.
Speaker 3: Okay, really off key, Welcome to More Better, a podcast
Speaker 3: where we stop pretending to have it all together and
Speaker 3: embrace the journey of being off key and becoming a
Speaker 3: little more better every day, or at least trying to.
Speaker 2: That's Melissa Famiro. That's Stephanie Beatrice. Oh man, we're off
Speaker 2: to a great start. Great start, great start, doing great.
Speaker 2: We're doing great, Melsa, what have you done that's a
Speaker 2: little more better? Let me just take that back, let
Speaker 2: me let me try to more and better that okay,
Speaker 2: hold on? Yeah, well Lissa, what have you done lately?
Speaker 2: That's a little more better? That's natural, so natural, so natural.
Speaker 4: Well, Stephanie, I literally can't think of anything because I'm
Speaker 4: drowning currently.
Speaker 1: No, that sounds you know what. I'm just tired. My
Speaker 1: More Better this week is just being okay with the
Speaker 1: bare men of mum. We're just keeping it basic. That's
Speaker 1: come up for air.
Speaker 2: That's good.
Speaker 1: What have you been doing, Stephanie?
Speaker 2: That's more better. Uh, you know, I am the opposite
Speaker 2: right now. I don't have anything going on other than
Speaker 2: like I am in a little bit of a waiting
Speaker 2: game because my next job doesn't start for a little while.
Speaker 2: So I took it upon myself to you know how
Speaker 2: you read in the mom blogs and stuff that you're
Speaker 2: supposed to cycle their toys out if you don't have kids.
Speaker 2: What that means is to help them have a better brain.
Speaker 2: I don't know, be a better human. I'm not sure
Speaker 2: you're supposed to take some of their toys away and
Speaker 2: put other ones out so they're not overwhelmed by like
Speaker 2: a bunch of toys. And also you you like it's
Speaker 2: like introducing new toys to them because they're kind of
Speaker 2: goldfishy a little bit about toys, or like, well this
Speaker 2: is new? What's this? So I've never done it before.
Speaker 2: I did it today. I had some time. I took
Speaker 2: a bunch of stuff out of her toys. I put
Speaker 2: it in some bins. I moved them to the basement,
Speaker 2: and uh, she didn't notice. I don't know is that
Speaker 2: good or bad?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I know they want out of sight, out of mind,
Speaker 1: like every kid at that age, every toddler, they'll just forget.
Speaker 1: I love hiding things all the time. Joys that annoy me.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, man, I mean fingers crossed. This child is.
Speaker 2: This child is not barely playing by herself. She's like, Mommy,
Speaker 2: you want to come and play with me. I'm like, man,
Speaker 2: I get paid to play pretend. I don't want to
Speaker 2: play pretend for free. I'm trying to do this every
Speaker 2: day for free. I'm putting on voices, I'm doing an
Speaker 2: old show.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: That's how I feel. I can't do it. Bro, Are
Speaker 2: you cutting me a check person? You know? Then the
Speaker 2: answers no, yeah, more better. Speaking of work, that's what
Speaker 2: we wanted to talk about this week. We're going to
Speaker 2: be discussing work parties. I already feel anxious. How do
Speaker 2: you feel about work parties? You know, you know, work
Speaker 2: parties specifically, they are not regular parties, right, No, I
Speaker 2: would say, like normally big work parties around the holidays, right.
Speaker 1: I feel like there's summer soys too, like summers of
Speaker 1: the okay, big kind of time, or like if your
Speaker 1: work has.
Speaker 2: Some kind of big event, like if you're going to oh, conventions, yeah,
Speaker 2: we're going as convention and then on Friday, We're hosting
Speaker 2: a dinner for everybody from blah blah blah. So come
Speaker 2: on down to the TGI Fridays and hang out.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The thing about it, though, is that you're not only
Speaker 2: with friends, right, you're at work.
Speaker 1: You're at work, that's the thing. Yeah, You're not at
Speaker 1: a party, You're at work. You're working. Do you like
Speaker 1: work parties?
Speaker 2: I really struggle with this. I really struggle with this. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I've learned to do better at it as I've
Speaker 2: gotten older. But like, the hard thing about them is
Speaker 2: like they're with people from work, so like these are
Speaker 2: sometimes the people that are going to give you another
Speaker 2: job later. Maybe you know, for us, it's slightly different
Speaker 2: because like for us, we really do go job to job. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we'll not necessarily freelance, but we do kind of as actors,
Speaker 2: we kind of function that way, whereas like we'll wrap
Speaker 2: a job and then you know, we can go for
Speaker 2: many years on that job. But then oftentimes we'll go
Speaker 2: to another job, or we'll go to do a movie,
Speaker 2: or we'll go to do something else in another forum
Speaker 2: of this art forum. And so, like work parties, you
Speaker 2: really partying with a lot of people who either are
Speaker 2: in the cast or their crew or production.
Speaker 1: Heads of studios, executives studios.
Speaker 2: Sometimes, Oh my god. You know who's really good at
Speaker 2: these Laura Ash She's great at a work party. She
Speaker 2: knows everyone's name, she remembers everybody. I am not good
Speaker 2: at it.
Speaker 1: Bro, Bro, I'm not good at it.
Speaker 2: Each I can't. I'm really bad at it.
Speaker 1: They make me feel really anxious.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think same.
Speaker 1: I've gotten a little bit better over the years. I
Speaker 1: remember the first few that we had to go to
Speaker 1: for Brooklyn, like even my manager being like, maybe you
Speaker 1: should have a drink, Like just have wondrink when you
Speaker 1: get there, Just have one drink when you get there
Speaker 1: to relax, yes, to just like kind of take an
Speaker 1: edge off.
Speaker 2: Right, But like if you're not drinking, I'm not drinking,
Speaker 2: So like, right, I was super nervous about this rap
Speaker 2: party because I was like, I can't have a beer.
Speaker 2: I can't like do that right now, you know. But
Speaker 2: from you know, it's a choice that I'm making. But
Speaker 2: like it's definitely easy to lean on substances when you're
Speaker 2: sort of feeling like, well, I feel nervous and I'm anxious.
Speaker 2: You know, there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, there's nothing wrong with that. But also
Speaker 1: like you have to be careful too, because sometimes over
Speaker 1: indulging at a work party is the most anxiety inducing
Speaker 1: thing that could happen, of just being in the middle
Speaker 1: of a work party and being like, oh my god.
Speaker 2: I'm I'm drunk. Do you remember that first dinner we
Speaker 2: went to, that very very first dinner that we went
Speaker 2: to after I think we shot the pilot for Brooklyn? Yes, maybe,
Speaker 2: do you remember what I'm talking about? Yeah, Yota, I think.
Speaker 1: It was Mozza in the Present Room.
Speaker 2: Great wonderful restaurant here in La so good, really good,
Speaker 2: like pizza Italian food, Nancy Silverton. Right, anyway, Yes, we
Speaker 2: were at this work party and you know, for me,
Speaker 2: I was really my first big TV thing that I'd
Speaker 2: ever done, and so like I'd honestly never gone to
Speaker 2: a dinner where like the studio was like paying for
Speaker 2: the dinner, and it was like you can have whatever
Speaker 2: you want to drink, you know, So I was like,
Speaker 2: I'll get wine. Do you remember this. I had so
Speaker 2: many glasses of wine because I was so nervous, and
Speaker 2: I was sitting next to Mike Sure and I turned
Speaker 2: to him. At one point I was like, I think
Speaker 2: I've had too much to drink, and God bless Mike Sure.
Speaker 2: He was like, you should go home now. Oh, you
Speaker 2: should call a car and go home right now. And
Speaker 2: I was like I should without saying goodbye. He was like,
Speaker 2: you don't have to say goodbye, just go home. God
Speaker 2: bless him, because I was ripped, ma'am. I was rip
Speaker 2: I don't remember that. Did you just go disappear? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I just left. I just left because I was like,
Speaker 2: if Mike Sure says I should go home, I should
Speaker 2: go home.
Speaker 1: I now remember that. Yeah, I think I do remember
Speaker 1: turning around and being like, where's that go?
Speaker 2: Where'd she go? Because I had like a bottle of
Speaker 2: wine by myself because I was so nervous. Yeah, ridiculous, ridiculous.
Speaker 1: I also remember, uh, we would have to do these parties,
Speaker 1: uh for oh god, people that are listening that are
Speaker 1: not in this job that were. The TCAs were always
Speaker 1: the biggest, most anxiety inducing kind of parties for me.
Speaker 1: So the TCAs were like Television Critics Association have this
Speaker 1: big party, uh twice a year. Right, there's like a
Speaker 1: fall in a spring one and it's essentially this party
Speaker 1: where you go and all the heads of studio were there,
Speaker 1: and like everybody, you know, if it's Fox, all the
Speaker 1: people from Fox shows are there. So it's full of
Speaker 1: actors and it's full of journalists and they tell you
Speaker 1: you will be on the record when you go to
Speaker 1: this party, and you basically just make around and then
Speaker 1: they give you alcohol and you walk around this party
Speaker 1: and journalists just come up to you and they're like, so,
Speaker 1: tell me about your show, and they'll just like it's
Speaker 1: like random interviews. But then also sometimes you just are
Speaker 1: having a conversation and halfway through you're like, wait, I'm
Speaker 1: talking to a journalist.
Speaker 2: Yeah this record, Yeah yeah, And then you're like, well,
Speaker 2: what did I just say? But it's too comfortable, and.
Speaker 1: Those were oh my god, I would be I think
Speaker 1: that was one of the parties where my manager was like,
Speaker 1: have a drink because like you need to relax, and
Speaker 1: and you know, there was always that thing of like
Speaker 1: make sure you go up and say hi to like
Speaker 1: the heads of the studios, which is like the worst,
Speaker 1: and I would always forget their names right as I
Speaker 1: was going up, which is really really bad. And then
Speaker 1: just like seeing actors from other shows, like I'm really
Speaker 1: good with faces and not names, and I don't even
Speaker 1: know how to get better at that. But it was
Speaker 1: just awkward. And I felt awkward the whole time and
Speaker 1: like sweating and just in this like high state of anxiety,
Speaker 1: just trying not to like sound dumb or look dumb,
Speaker 1: and just trying to relax and like have a good time.
Speaker 1: And I remember there was one where we it was
Speaker 1: like a few seasons in so we had done a
Speaker 1: bunch of them, and I think we were all like
Speaker 1: a little more comfortable with them now, but we basically
Speaker 1: went to like the back of the restaurant and found
Speaker 1: a corner and we all just hung out, like the
Speaker 1: whole cast. We just hung out. Do you remember this?
Speaker 2: I don't remember that. Where were we? Do you? It
Speaker 2: was like the one at the Soho House? Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: you know what. I I don't remember that because I
Speaker 2: was with Joel and Dirk eating with them at the
Speaker 2: buffet at the dessert buvey, and I was eating with them.
Speaker 2: We were just like standing there as close as we
Speaker 2: could to the dessert eating. That's why I don't remember that.
Speaker 2: I was like, where's everybody? Yeah? I thought it was
Speaker 2: all of us.
Speaker 1: We were all just and then it was great because
Speaker 1: imas were eating, we kind of some journalists came up
Speaker 1: and talked to us. But I think that then as
Speaker 1: a group we were I don't know if we were
Speaker 1: like intimidating or like not that many people came up
Speaker 1: to us and we just that's so funny, hung out
Speaker 1: and ended up having like a great time. And I
Speaker 1: was like, is that the answer just to quester.
Speaker 2: Yourself so people in a corner?
Speaker 1: But probably not.
Speaker 2: I mean sometimes more better, more better. I think it
Speaker 2: depends on what you want out of the party, you know.
Speaker 2: Like that's the thing I think I've started to get to. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and like as I get older, I'm like, okay, so
Speaker 2: what is it that's making me anxious about this party?
Speaker 1: Right? So?
Speaker 2: Uh, because I'm gonna see all these people and like
Speaker 2: I don't know if I have anything to talk to about.
Speaker 2: It's like the thing that I have to remember is
Speaker 2: every single person at that holiday party or at that
Speaker 2: work party. It's like everybody there. First of all, sometimes
Speaker 2: I get caught up in feeling like I'm responsible for
Speaker 2: other people, Like, oh, I have to stay in this
Speaker 2: conversation with this person, because like what if I leave
Speaker 2: the conversation. I don't want to be rude, but everybody
Speaker 2: at the party is like, oh, I want to talk
Speaker 2: to multiple people at this party. Every single person that
Speaker 2: came to that party wants to talk to a bunch
Speaker 2: of people at that party, even if they're nervous, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean. They want to see like their
Speaker 2: work friends, they maybe want to like meet someone new,
Speaker 2: they don't. They also don't want to be like stuck
Speaker 2: in a conversation with you the whole time. So it's
Speaker 2: like very freeing to be like I'm so glad that
Speaker 2: I got to talk to you for a little while.
Speaker 2: You know how these things are. I'm gonna go see
Speaker 2: if they put more cheese out, or I'm gonna like,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go see if I can find so and so.
Speaker 2: Like it's okay to leave the the one one. Yes,
Speaker 2: I love. Giving my self permission to do that is big.
Speaker 1: I feel like, yeah, I've just started to get a
Speaker 1: little bit better at that. But you hearing you just
Speaker 1: say that out loud is like such a good reminder
Speaker 1: of like, oh, yeah, I can just like have short
Speaker 1: conversations and just be free of the expectation and understand
Speaker 1: that like it's good for the other person too to
Speaker 1: be like, hey, it was great to see you, and
Speaker 1: what are your favorite like getting out of a conversation
Speaker 1: kind like do you use like you just said, like
Speaker 1: a food thing is a really good one, you know,
Speaker 1: I think getting a drink to you, Oh you know
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna I'm gonna go get another drink, Like yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I'll see in a bit.
Speaker 2: I appreciate the honesty of Like I was at a
Speaker 2: work party the other day and I met this actress
Speaker 2: that I really really liked, and we got along like
Speaker 2: gangbusters and we were like having a great time and
Speaker 2: then sort of not abruptly, but she was like, Okay,
Speaker 2: so me and my husband are gonna we're gonna go
Speaker 2: like see if we can talk to some more people.
Speaker 2: It was so nice hanging out with you guys. I'm like,
Speaker 2: I really appreciated how frank she was. She was just like,
Speaker 2: we're gonna go do our rounds, because that's kind of
Speaker 2: what you have to do with those work parties. You're
Speaker 2: there to do your rounds, you know, And like I
Speaker 2: just like I think it's you know, it's part it's
Speaker 2: it's two parts of it, right, Like there's the I
Speaker 2: want to be frank with people, and I also understand
Speaker 2: that if somebody's with me, they're not being like you're
Speaker 2: the worst, and I want to talk to you. It's like,
Speaker 2: I'm not going to take that personally right. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: be like, oh yeah, there's like fifty people here that
Speaker 2: you probably need to talk to you before you leave
Speaker 2: at least two, you know, at least two other people
Speaker 2: you probably saw out of the corner of her eye,
Speaker 2: and you want to make sure you say hi before
Speaker 2: you go home super early. Because that's what I also
Speaker 2: like to do at the work party. I like to
Speaker 2: leave early. I didn't like to say to the end.
Speaker 2: I like to get in and get out.
Speaker 1: Be in that first shift. You know, yeah you get
Speaker 1: there on time, leave an hour or two later, yes,
Speaker 1: on time, and then get at.
Speaker 2: The other thing is like I like to have It
Speaker 2: doesn't have to be like a notes list, but I
Speaker 2: like to have a list in my mind of like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm going to talk to this person. I want to
Speaker 2: make sure I see this person. If if I see
Speaker 2: this person, I want to like tap them on the
Speaker 2: shoulder and be like, Hi, it's nice to see you,
Speaker 2: or whatever, So like in my mind having a sort
Speaker 2: of oh if I see so and so, I really
Speaker 2: want to make sure I say this to them or.
Speaker 1: That to them or whatever, because that makes smart stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because you're going into it with like some goals, some markers,
Speaker 1: and then once you hit those, you're like, Okay, I
Speaker 1: did the thing I did the work party.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: If I'm having a good time, I can stay. But also,
Speaker 1: like I released myself, I can go I have reel
Speaker 1: good about this exactly.
Speaker 2: Exactly, So this party, I really wanted to say hi
Speaker 2: and by to Ted Danson, who is the lead in
Speaker 2: this show that I just did a part in in
Speaker 2: Icon Legend, Icon Legend fantastic wonderful human and I did.
Speaker 2: I'm I like made sure that I like had like
Speaker 2: I made time to like go back over to him
Speaker 2: when I saw he wasn't busy. Yeah, And and also
Speaker 2: like you can't really have too much shame about interrupting.
Speaker 2: We're not in prege and prejudice, you know, like we're
Speaker 2: not like you just have to be like tap tap yep,
Speaker 2: Like maybe don't interrupt right as they're putting down the
Speaker 2: fucking I I taped. I tapped him on the shoulder
Speaker 2: and it was right when he was laying down the
Speaker 2: punchline to a joke. And I was like, oh, sorry,
Speaker 2: it was really bad. But how could you know? I mean,
Speaker 2: I could have figured it out. I am also funny,
Speaker 2: so I could have figured out like his gestures are
Speaker 2: such that he's about to lay down the punchline. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: but that you know. And then my other like goal
Speaker 2: that I had in my head was like, oh, get
Speaker 2: this one person's phone number because you don't have it
Speaker 2: and like you don't know when you're gonna see them again.
Speaker 2: And I'm not on social media very much, so I
Speaker 2: was like, I want to get her phone number before
Speaker 2: I leave the party, and I did. And the other
Speaker 2: goal was eat all the pretzels. Like they had a
Speaker 2: They had little you know, those little soft pretzels. What
Speaker 2: are they called. They're like sour dough saut you know
Speaker 2: what I'm saying about. Yeah, get yeah, the big soft pretzels.
Speaker 2: They had big soft pretzels. And I was like, you
Speaker 2: get many big soft pretzels as possible. Yeah, So I
Speaker 2: had a lot. Those were my goals for the party
Speaker 2: and I did it.
Speaker 1: God, this is so smart. Okay, goals for a party,
Speaker 1: being okay with being frank about short conversations with people.
Speaker 1: These are hot tips.
Speaker 2: I am learning still being rude, but like, yeah, thanks.
Speaker 2: I do. I do think, especially at work parties for us,
Speaker 2: and I think for everybody, there's so many times where
Speaker 2: it's like high emphasis is like there's an open bar,
Speaker 2: there's free drinks. Yeah, it's like I would say, like
Speaker 2: the main thing, as I said earlier, the main thing
Speaker 2: for me is like don't get stupid. Don't get stupid
Speaker 2: at the work party.
Speaker 1: Don't You could.
Speaker 2: Go ahead and like go to it, like if you
Speaker 2: really want to, you can go to another bar afterwards,
Speaker 2: like that time that I was like, do you remember
Speaker 2: that time? This was recent at a recent word party,
Speaker 2: and I was like, do you guys want to go
Speaker 2: to a second location? Remember that? Oh yeah yeah at
Speaker 2: that party? Yeah, the Oscar party thing. And then I
Speaker 2: was like, do you want to go to another place?
Speaker 2: And you guys were like, we're gonna go home. I
Speaker 2: was like, good for you.
Speaker 1: I wanted to go, but it was late, and we're
Speaker 1: always thinking about how early our children wake up, and
Speaker 1: so that makes us kind of lame. But then I
Speaker 1: tell myself about my child, so no, your child sleeps,
Speaker 1: your child sleep, Yeah, not anymore.
Speaker 2: She hit that two year old mark. I didn't care anymore.
Speaker 1: She's in that regression. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's in the she's in the fuck sleep.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But my children wake up at like five thirty six am,
Speaker 1: so that. But one day they will be older and
Speaker 1: we can stay out later.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But yes, yes, I do love. I do love a
Speaker 1: post work party hang party.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because at work, it's very At the work party,
Speaker 2: it's like your bosses are there, you're you're you gotta
Speaker 2: act right you were you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 2: you gotta act right because I gotta. I don't want
Speaker 2: to get fired because I'm dumb. Shit you did at
Speaker 2: the work party. Like it's not worth it, you know,
Speaker 2: it's not worth it. No amount of free alcohol is
Speaker 2: worth getting fired.
Speaker 1: And everybody remembers the person who got stupid at the
Speaker 1: work party.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's so embarrassing.
Speaker 1: It's so embarrassing.
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's me. Sometimes I don't think it's ever been you.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1: What's your most memorable like Brooklyn, work party or work.
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be a Brooklyn one, but like,
Speaker 1: do you have a work party that you were like,
Speaker 1: this was amazing and I totally nailed it and I
Speaker 1: had a great time and I was just like killing it.
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't know that, I know. I
Speaker 2: don't think I ever feel like I'm really killing it
Speaker 2: at a work party. But I also think like separating
Speaker 2: the idea of like a party party from a work
Speaker 2: party is really good for my brain. It's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: there's certain pressures that are on a work party, like
Speaker 2: your bosses are going to be there there, you might
Speaker 2: need to like make an impression on people. But like
Speaker 2: also if you put that much pressure on yourself about it,
Speaker 2: it's like you're never going to succeed. And everybody at
Speaker 2: that party except for like I don't know, you know,
Speaker 2: j Low is like just as kind of like anxious
Speaker 2: about the work party as you are, So like just
Speaker 2: relax and also tell people that you like their work.
Speaker 2: You know, like if there's someone at your party that
Speaker 2: you'd like admire there, whatever it is, whatever job you have,
Speaker 2: if there's somebody that you specifically are like, you're you
Speaker 2: just such a great job, or I look up to
Speaker 2: your work so much, or you know, I don't know
Speaker 2: how you got to where you are, but like, if
Speaker 2: you ever want to like have coffee, don't say pick
Speaker 2: a brain because that's gross. But yeah, you know, that's
Speaker 2: why I got that number because I wanted to talk
Speaker 2: to that actress because she's a writer too, and I
Speaker 2: just think she's so cool. And I was like, I
Speaker 2: don't have a phone number. I'd really like to chat
Speaker 2: with her, not necessarily because I want her to be
Speaker 2: my mentor, although I think you could do that, I
Speaker 2: think you can also just like talk to people that
Speaker 2: you think as an equal. You want to like exchange
Speaker 2: ideas about work outside of this work party situation.
Speaker 1: Yes, I one hundred percent agree that is such a
Speaker 1: good point because I feel like I've gotten a little
Speaker 1: bit better with that too, and it has led to
Speaker 1: collaborations or friendships or yeah, I mean I used to
Speaker 1: feel so weird. I think when I was starting out
Speaker 1: being like I like your work, like I don't know,
Speaker 1: like I was like afraid it made me look thirsty
Speaker 1: or like something, you know, just like overthinking it, desperate
Speaker 1: or you know. And then the first time I did
Speaker 1: it was actually with phil Augusta Jackson, and it was
Speaker 1: kind of a work party and he had like screened
Speaker 1: some stuff and there was like a get together after,
Speaker 1: but there was like a lot of people there and
Speaker 1: it was at an agency, and I just went up
Speaker 1: and I was like, I love what you do and
Speaker 1: I'm like a fan, and I just if there's ever
Speaker 1: a way that I could like support you or show
Speaker 1: up for you, like, please let me know because I
Speaker 1: really think you're so talented. And he immediately was like,
Speaker 1: I have a short film I want to make. You
Speaker 1: want to be in it? And I was like yes,
Speaker 1: like and that was kind of like how our little
Speaker 1: relationship started. Yeah, and it gave me so much courage
Speaker 1: after that to be like, oh, just say it, Just
Speaker 1: say the thing. Just tell people that you like what
Speaker 1: they do. Like people like to hear that, and then
Speaker 1: sometimes it leads to, you know, more and creative relationships
Speaker 1: and collaboration and it can be amazing. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't know. It doesn't have to be like a
Speaker 2: thirsty thing, you know. I think some people circtly it's like, right,
Speaker 2: we're not thirsty, but it's like what are you doing?
Speaker 2: What are you? Oh yeah, no, please just like do
Speaker 2: that gross. But when it comes from a real place
Speaker 2: of like curiosity because you want to know what they're
Speaker 2: creatively doing, you know, like what are you what is what?
Speaker 2: Where's your brain like leading you? Like what is your
Speaker 2: curiosity right now? What are you working on next? Like
Speaker 2: what are you doing so that I can watch it
Speaker 2: when it comes out or whatever? That's specific to us,
Speaker 2: but like I do think it applies to a lot
Speaker 2: of people. Yeah, I think, so more better, more better. Okay,
Speaker 2: So I wanted to redo this thing from Forbes, which listen,
Speaker 2: I don't read Forbes very much, but I was like
Speaker 2: asking about holiday parties, office parties or whatever, and there
Speaker 2: was this executive coach that wrote this article that's called
Speaker 2: why your office holiday party is a secret evaluation and
Speaker 2: possible job interview.
Speaker 1: I hate this already.
Speaker 2: I think it's so yuck to be like, okay, wait
Speaker 2: this quote the office holiday party serves as a covert
Speaker 2: evaluation of employees social skills, professionalism, and ability to navigate
Speaker 2: informal settings. I advise you to prepare for your holiday
Speaker 2: party in the same way you would a performance review
Speaker 2: or in interview. Boom baboo.
Speaker 1: I hate that.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think that's too far. I don't know
Speaker 2: the performance review or interview needs the same like intensity.
Speaker 2: I think that's so yucky because like it's also like
Speaker 2: a holiday party. It's like it's you know, not scrutinize
Speaker 2: people in casuals. Can we just yeah? I mean I
Speaker 2: get like people are gonna do that, but just like
Speaker 2: be I hate that. I don't know that one. That's
Speaker 2: so gross, right, It just that's gross thing that like
Speaker 2: the the like like the kids say they gave me.
Speaker 2: It comes from Love Island. You remember when I talked
Speaker 2: about being being embarrassed that I watched Love Island. That's
Speaker 2: where it came from. That's where it from. Just you know, America.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't know the origin of it without your love,
Speaker 1: Islan love.
Speaker 2: I do think there's some some truth to it a
Speaker 2: little bit, but like.
Speaker 1: Uh well only as far as listen, if you act
Speaker 1: a fool at the holiday party, yes, should you be
Speaker 1: judged or like possibly evaluated, Sure, but sure I think
Speaker 1: it's gross to have that approach. I feel like holiday
Speaker 1: parties and work parties should also be just like places
Speaker 1: to make connection bonding time, team building, you know, all
Speaker 1: those cut like just a time to cut loose with
Speaker 1: these people that you spend so many hours with in
Speaker 1: a sensible professional way. Sure, Like I said, we don't
Speaker 1: need to get stupid at the work party.
Speaker 2: We don't need to be ridiculous. It's not it's not
Speaker 2: that kind of priorty.
Speaker 1: We don't have to get sloppy.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But oh, to put this like pressure of like you're
Speaker 1: being scrutinized.
Speaker 2: Or evaluated like a performance evaluated. Yike, smim, don't do
Speaker 2: that to yourself. Don't do that to yourself now, because
Speaker 2: I will say that's how I used to not exactly,
Speaker 2: but I would put especially in the beginning of work
Speaker 2: parties for me, like when I was entering into I'm
Speaker 2: a responsible adult and now I'm getting a paycheck, now
Speaker 2: I'm going to work parties. Yeah, I would put that
Speaker 2: pressure on myself. I'd be like, oh my god, they're
Speaker 2: gonna like they're gonna think of me as X Y
Speaker 2: or Z or Like I remember being at a theater
Speaker 2: in my early part of my career and hearing all
Speaker 2: these like little whispers and stuff from other actors saying,
Speaker 2: you know, you have to show up at the company
Speaker 2: bar afterwards, and you have to schmooze, and that's how
Speaker 2: you get cast, and this and that and I was like, Oh,
Speaker 2: that's so stressful. Like I want to go to the
Speaker 2: company bar to like hang out with my new friends
Speaker 2: and like have some drinks and stuff. I don't want to,
Speaker 2: you know. And this wasn't a work party. It was
Speaker 2: more of like a social situation, you know, right, And
Speaker 2: it's too much pressure to think about every single move
Speaker 2: you're making. You could think about some of your moves,
Speaker 2: but like I mean, like I didn't wear makeup to
Speaker 2: that rap party.
Speaker 1: Don't be so calculated.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't wear makeup to that rap party because
Speaker 2: I didn't have time. I didn't have time. Good, good, good.
Speaker 2: And I was like, uh, people are gonna know what
Speaker 2: I look like. Oh that's true. They do. They already
Speaker 2: know what you look like. It's fine.
Speaker 1: Well, before we wrap it up, I do have one
Speaker 1: more fun thing that I wanted to read because our
Speaker 1: producer isis she asked AI how to be better at
Speaker 1: work parties? And I think that this list is hilarious
Speaker 1: parts of it. So the first one is beyond time. Sure,
Speaker 1: I think it's debatable because I think it's okay to
Speaker 1: be fashionably late to a work party. Nobody wants to
Speaker 1: be the frowd fashionally late. How late though, No, like
Speaker 1: within the first half hour.
Speaker 2: Yeah. If it's a dinner, you need to be on time,
Speaker 2: like you can be.
Speaker 1: Dinner, you need to be on time. We both remember
Speaker 1: a dinner we were invited to that I went. I
Speaker 1: didn't know it was a sit down thing, and I
Speaker 1: arrived actually, and it was very embarrassing to come into
Speaker 1: the room with a big round table of people sitting down.
Speaker 1: And thankfully I wasn't the last person to show up,
Speaker 1: but I was a second.
Speaker 2: No, you were not to show up. Yeah, it was fine,
Speaker 2: it was embarrassing.
Speaker 1: Uh, dress appropriately, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that one. Yeah, I don't want to, you know,
Speaker 2: ask your if you're curious about what you is appropriate. Maybe,
Speaker 2: you know, if if HR wouldn't appreciate you wearing it
Speaker 2: to work, you probably shouldn't wear it to a work party.
Speaker 1: That's good, that's solid. Yeah. Uh, don't bring a guest
Speaker 1: unless asked. That's yeah.
Speaker 2: I like that.
Speaker 1: I like that.
Speaker 2: I like that.
Speaker 1: This is my favorite. Watch your guest behavior.
Speaker 2: Do not bring that friend, lark, when are people? Okay,
Speaker 2: Bill from Accounting had six beers.
Speaker 1: You guys, don't bring that friend. Okay, you know who
Speaker 1: you you know who they are? Uh, snack before you go.
Speaker 2: I love that one actually, because I have definitely expected
Speaker 2: a tree pass situation at a work party and been
Speaker 2: sorely disappointed by the snacks.
Speaker 1: Yes, I have definitely showed up to a work party
Speaker 1: ravenous and then looked like I don't know what, attacking
Speaker 1: every plate that came out or whatever, small buffet and
Speaker 1: just like a stockpile of a plate and being like maybe.
Speaker 2: Fine, Yeah, the stockpile is actually totally fine. If people
Speaker 2: are gonna judge you for how much you eat at
Speaker 2: a work.
Speaker 1: No, I mean just more like not talking to anyone because.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's not good, just not great. That's not great in.
Speaker 1: Search of food because I arrived starving.
Speaker 2: One time I went to a fancy work party and
Speaker 2: they had Trey pass uh little burgers raw they were raw.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I had eaten half of one in the
Speaker 2: dark before I realized it. I was like, this is weird. No,
Speaker 2: it was bad. So eat before you go, Eat before
Speaker 2: you go.
Speaker 1: That's a good tip. Uh, don't gossip.
Speaker 2: Next, next next one, next one.
Speaker 1: Drink responsibly. We we yes, we discussed, we discussed, yes,
Speaker 1: And then this one has a big question mark. Hold
Speaker 1: your drink in your left hand.
Speaker 2: Why so you can shake hands with your right? Oh
Speaker 2: is that? Why? Is that? Why?
Speaker 1: Probably you probably just nailed it.
Speaker 2: I like to have things in both hands so that
Speaker 2: I'm I don't have to shake anyone's hands. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: that's and then I can be like, oh, sorry, I'm
Speaker 2: holding my raw Berger.
Speaker 1: I know, in this post COVID world, I find it
Speaker 1: very like, are we back to shaking hands. I've also
Speaker 1: learned as an adult that, uh, when I was younger,
Speaker 1: I just used to hug everyone without asking you.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's such a Latin thing, right, So
Speaker 2: I just used to hug people and.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I've like kissed people on the cheek
Speaker 1: without asking you because it's very Latin as well, and
Speaker 1: like and then I, yeah, I have had to be like, oh,
Speaker 1: well that makes some people very uncomfortable and like just
Speaker 1: because it's my culture, like they shouldn't have to be
Speaker 1: on physically uncomfortable because this is how I greet people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really real. You can't, you can't.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I've gotten better about asking, you know, or
Speaker 1: waiting to see you know that like awkward moment where
Speaker 1: you're both you both go in for it and then
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, no, do they like hugs? And then
Speaker 1: I just go I'm a hugger. I like hugs, and
Speaker 1: then the other person goes me too, and then you
Speaker 1: do it.
Speaker 2: Oh that's nice.
Speaker 1: But yeah, but are we shaking hands? Are we back
Speaker 1: to shaking hands? Because remember during COVID when like nobody
Speaker 1: was shaking hands. Are we back to shaking hands?
Speaker 2: I think you can, Like, I think it's okay to say, like,
Speaker 2: you know, what I do is oh I just sneezed,
Speaker 2: or like, oh I just I just ate a burger,
Speaker 2: so I'm not shaking hands, or like I do that
Speaker 2: a lot. I'll be and it's usually pretty honest. I'm
Speaker 2: like I just you know X y Z. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you're you're smart to have like, yeah, you're
Speaker 1: both your hands occupied.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I like to have them because I don't love
Speaker 2: a shake hands situation. I do like a hug, but
Speaker 2: I try to wait until the end of the conversation
Speaker 2: to see if I feel comfortable enough approaching huh. So
Speaker 2: in the beginning, I'll just like smile and be like, Hi,
Speaker 2: it's so good to see you. Yeah that kind of thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: More better I feel I feel listen, I'm gonna ask you,
Speaker 2: do you feel more better about work parties after this discussion?
Speaker 1: I do feel more better about work parties because I
Speaker 1: got some real hot.
Speaker 2: Tips from you, and I'm oh, thank you.
Speaker 1: I feel like they're a little less nerve wracking for me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: after this conversation, do you feel more better about work
Speaker 1: party glad?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I feel I mean, weirdly, I feel like the
Speaker 2: stuff that I was doing was just to manage my
Speaker 2: own anxiety. So it's nice to hear that it might
Speaker 2: be helpful to you. You know. It's nice to hear
Speaker 2: that because like I was just going, like, how can
Speaker 2: I not be in my head this entire experience and
Speaker 2: like actually be present? What can I do to be present?
Speaker 2: You know? So it's nice to hear that it's helpful.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, you were like very proactive about it, as
Speaker 1: opposed to I've just been like floating through them, trying
Speaker 1: to survive.
Speaker 2: Trying to break it down, to break it down into
Speaker 2: little bitty pieces so I can crack the code. I
Speaker 2: like it. I like it. They're good to tack code.
Speaker 2: So yeah, well, we would love to hear about your
Speaker 2: work parties because we'll be reroll honest, Like, this is
Speaker 2: a very specific kind of work that we do, so
Speaker 2: we want to know, like, is your work party super different?
Speaker 2: Is it like really really casual? Is do the things
Speaker 2: that we talked about apply to your you know, maybe
Speaker 2: corporate maybe non corporate job? Like? Also, like did freelancers
Speaker 2: get together and have work parties or is such as
Speaker 2: a social party? I don't know, Let us know, Let.
Speaker 1: Us know and we'll see you next week.
Speaker 2: Yeah, bye guys, bye, More More Better. Do you have
Speaker 2: something you'd like to be more better at that you
Speaker 2: want us to talk about in a future episode?
Speaker 1: Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
Speaker 1: one of our tips and tricks?
Speaker 2: Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at
Speaker 2: gmail dot com and conclude a voice note if you
Speaker 2: want to be featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better
Speaker 2: with Stephanie Melissa is a production from WV Sound and
Speaker 2: iHeartMedia's My Kuntura podcast network, hosted by Me, Steffie Beatrice,
Speaker 2: and Melissa Humero. More Better is produced by Isis Madrid,
Speaker 2: Leo Clem, and Sophie Spencer Zabos. Our executive producers are
Speaker 2: Wilmer Valderrama and Leo Clem at w V sound. This
Speaker 2: episode was edited by Isis Madrid and engineered by Sean
Speaker 2: Tracy and features original music by Madison Davenport and Hey
Speaker 2: Loo boy Our.
Speaker 1: Cover art is by Vincent Remis and photography by David Abolos.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Speaker 2: See you next week, Sugas Bye,