WEBVTT - Good Man Bad Balls (with Gary Richardson) 0:00:02.480 --> 0:00:05.480 Your dad can be your hero. I've heard that he's 0:00:05.480 --> 0:00:07.600 a cool guy. I've heard ship like that, but I 0:00:07.800 --> 0:00:09.920 never heard a man be like, you know who, my 0:00:10.000 --> 0:00:13.800 best friend is my dad. And granted, if they did 0:00:13.920 --> 0:00:17.680 say that, I would shoot all over. It's open yourself 0:00:17.720 --> 0:00:22.680 up to getting absolutely cyber bully too. You kill yourself, 0:00:22.760 --> 0:00:26.479 my man, you aren't dropping dead. You aren't dropping dead 0:00:26.480 --> 0:00:32.520 if you say that. And frankly, if you get cyber 0:00:32.560 --> 0:00:34.879 bully to death because you said my dad was my 0:00:34.920 --> 0:00:37.320 best friend, I don't think that any of these like 0:00:37.440 --> 0:00:40.040 corporations that are like, we gotta stop cyber bully, and 0:00:40.040 --> 0:00:42.120 you're gonna be like, you shouldn't have done that. They'll 0:00:42.159 --> 0:00:45.400 be like, hey, all right, sometimes it works. Hey yeah, 0:00:45.479 --> 0:00:47.240 Martin ruffling about the hues will be like, hey, you 0:00:47.280 --> 0:00:49.720 can't be talking about him because you said his dad, 0:00:49.800 --> 0:00:52.599 Like nah, you you got the green like you got 0:00:53.880 --> 0:00:56.680 And honestly, maybe we're like as a society better off 0:00:56.680 --> 0:01:00.560 without me, you know, go ahead. Mark Ruflo says thumbs 0:01:00.640 --> 0:01:03.760 up to achilling yourself. They're saying my dad is my 0:01:03.880 --> 0:01:30.200 best friend from singer Racists money stuff, I can't tell me. Yep, yep, yep, 0:01:30.240 --> 0:01:33.320 there it is there it is. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome 0:01:33.319 --> 0:01:38.000 to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the 0:01:38.120 --> 0:01:41.640 podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of 0:01:41.720 --> 0:01:46.039 black conspiracy theories and we finally work to prove that 0:01:46.240 --> 0:01:50.040 we as a world will never know true peace until 0:01:50.120 --> 0:01:53.000 we all come together and figure out what the funk 0:01:53.160 --> 0:01:58.640 is wrong with Tyres Gibson. Fuck climate change, fuck capitalism, 0:01:58.760 --> 0:02:04.360 but famine, fuck genocide. We need to solve Tyrese or 0:02:04.440 --> 0:02:08.600 we are destined to suffer. That is a fact. Ladies 0:02:08.600 --> 0:02:11.040 and gentlemen, I am your host, likes and Kerman is 0:02:11.200 --> 0:02:14.120 always I Oh. I'm happy to be here, happy to 0:02:14.160 --> 0:02:17.600 be with you all. Do you know why? Because you're beautiful, 0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:20.359 each and every one of you white people listening at 0:02:20.400 --> 0:02:24.200 home about a black black conspiracy theories and the black people. 0:02:24.240 --> 0:02:27.320 Do all of you beautiful Mexicans stay out there? Know 0:02:27.560 --> 0:02:31.640 what am I doing? I'm just excited because my guest today, 0:02:32.000 --> 0:02:34.960 God damnit Se Funny. He's hilarious. I've known him for 0:02:35.080 --> 0:02:38.760 years doing stand up and and other types of of 0:02:38.880 --> 0:02:42.880 silly billy ship all around various cities. You know him 0:02:42.919 --> 0:02:45.800 from from he was a writer on SML. You know 0:02:45.880 --> 0:02:49.720 him from fucking uh that what's that show? Uh? The 0:02:49.720 --> 0:02:53.400 the show with Adie Bryant. Uh Hulu, I can't remember 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:57.360 the name anymore. God damn, damn real, God damn it 0:02:57.440 --> 0:02:59.840 there it is. You know I'm through Strel. You know 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:02.760 him as a writer of an upcoming show called Bust Down. 0:03:03.040 --> 0:03:05.240 He's hilarious. You're gonna love him. Please give it up 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:12.799 for my guest, Mr Gary Richardson. Yeah, I love it. 0:03:12.880 --> 0:03:15.880 Intro where I forget stuff. That's love having to help 0:03:15.919 --> 0:03:22.359 bring myself up. You know, you know that we're all 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:25.000 doing the work together. That I bring people together. It's 0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:29.000 a community. It's a community, man, we do it together. Village, 0:03:29.480 --> 0:03:35.440 village to get somebody on stage. I'm excited you're here 0:03:35.480 --> 0:03:41.120 because you came with a conspiracy theory that that I 0:03:41.120 --> 0:03:45.160 don't think I've ever heard before. And even in the 0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:50.200 phrase thing that it was presented feels like some country ass. 0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:53.120 And I know you're from the Midwest, You're you're a St. 0:03:53.160 --> 0:03:56.360 Louis boy, But god damn did this feel like it 0:03:56.480 --> 0:03:59.720 was in the words of a motherfucker who choose on? 0:04:00.440 --> 0:04:02.280 Do you know what I mean? Who just truly is 0:04:02.400 --> 0:04:08.800 just yes, some Delta ship. This is down Delta. SI. Yeah, absolutely, 0:04:08.840 --> 0:04:10.880 this some ship that I. When I heard it, I 0:04:10.920 --> 0:04:14.440 was like, whoa ship? This is definitely where I'm from. 0:04:14.680 --> 0:04:18.080 I just learned about myself. I'm like, damn, can I 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:22.320 have kids? You know? If I'm passing on these jeans? Sure? 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:25.680 I God, I love this. And you said, I want 0:04:25.720 --> 0:04:29.760 to be clear. You said, my mama told me all 0:04:29.960 --> 0:04:33.480 babies start off as boys, but it takes a good 0:04:33.520 --> 0:04:36.800 man to knock the balls off and make them girls. 0:04:40.600 --> 0:04:46.280 That's the truth. That is the truth. Absolutely, Please tell 0:04:46.320 --> 0:04:49.440 me more. I I wish I remember how the conversation 0:04:49.520 --> 0:04:53.320 actually started. It was actually my great aunt who said it. 0:04:53.400 --> 0:04:57.640 My grandma's twin sister. He said it. And the thing 0:04:57.680 --> 0:05:00.920 about my family is, aside for of me and my 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:04.520 younger brother, in my generation, I think there's one other 0:05:04.640 --> 0:05:08.719 dude the generation my mom's generation, I think it's there's 0:05:08.760 --> 0:05:13.120 one boy in that generation, and then my grandmother's generation 0:05:13.480 --> 0:05:16.520 there's two men. Everybody else's women. A lot of women, 0:05:16.520 --> 0:05:20.640 in my face, a lot of women, all of them divorced. 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:24.560 Every single woman, every single woman divorced. So it is 0:05:24.600 --> 0:05:28.159 so I do find it very very interesting to be like, Okay, 0:05:28.200 --> 0:05:31.600 this is a good man that made this happen. But ship, 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:36.520 you know, buddy, also ain't ship, right, yeah, right, So 0:05:36.520 --> 0:05:41.600 so they are they are, in a weird way super 0:05:41.880 --> 0:05:45.800 qualified in their minds to identify a good man, to 0:05:45.800 --> 0:05:48.279 be able to figure out who's a good man and 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:51.560 who ain't. And it's a kind of uh, it's the 0:05:51.680 --> 0:05:55.560 kind of like nobody says for real, but everybody just 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:58.720 like makes a face, you know, when they're like, it's 0:05:58.720 --> 0:05:59.880 like it takes a good man to do that, and 0:06:00.000 --> 0:06:05.280 body's like yeah, yeah, and everybody's like, well I know that. Okay. 0:06:05.640 --> 0:06:09.480 It was really um wild because all the younger women 0:06:09.480 --> 0:06:13.880 in my family were like nope, no, wrong, yea, but 0:06:15.640 --> 0:06:18.040 all the old women were like, yeah, I guess that 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:21.120 makes sense. I guess that's that's real. And I was like, 0:06:21.160 --> 0:06:24.559 hold up, what the fund is going on? Well, let's 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:28.159 let's backtrack a little bit, because I do I number 0:06:28.200 --> 0:06:31.920 one again. The phrasing is so magical, knock the balls 0:06:31.960 --> 0:06:34.920 off and make them and make them girls. It's such 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:41.680 a beautiful way of articulating I guess genetics or or biochemistry. 0:06:41.720 --> 0:06:45.559 I'm not sure exactly what either, because when I hear that, 0:06:45.920 --> 0:06:49.160 I think that the balls on the baby are formed, 0:06:50.440 --> 0:06:54.839 a whole baby that has balls, and this pregnant woman 0:06:54.920 --> 0:06:59.080 gets smashed so much that there's just balls in her 0:06:59.120 --> 0:07:03.480 womb side like next to the baby floating that just 0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:07.800 kind of like disintegrate or disappear. That's wild to me, 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:12.440 and it it also implies the possibility that the man, 0:07:12.680 --> 0:07:17.280 I guess is digging her down in a way that 0:07:17.440 --> 0:07:21.120 is so genuine and caring and deep in its penetration 0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:24.920 that it makes a girl as opposed to a nigga 0:07:24.960 --> 0:07:28.400 who's just sticking the tipping and and just getting the taste. 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:31.160 He don't care about this person, and therefore we'll just 0:07:31.360 --> 0:07:34.440 end up with with a boy a week exactly, and 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:37.040 even like a step further makes me think like, okay, 0:07:37.160 --> 0:07:40.520 if we are to be lave, that life begins at conception. Right, 0:07:40.560 --> 0:07:43.720 So there is a child here, and this child has balls, 0:07:44.080 --> 0:07:47.679 and it sees and it sees the dick coming so deep, 0:07:48.120 --> 0:07:51.160 so good that it's like, Okay, this family doesn't need 0:07:51.240 --> 0:07:55.840 any more men. Pop, I'm gonna pack up these balls 0:07:55.960 --> 0:07:57.800 and I'm gonna be a woman and I bring some 0:07:57.880 --> 0:08:02.840 of that energy because you need to balance this ship out. Yeah, right, 0:08:03.120 --> 0:08:06.080 that this man is saying We're done. I am the 0:08:06.120 --> 0:08:10.320 good that that this family needed now now all we 0:08:10.400 --> 0:08:14.440 needed some some women to do women's stuff within the 0:08:14.480 --> 0:08:19.000 rest of this gene pool. Absolutely wow. Okay, let me 0:08:19.120 --> 0:08:22.760 also ask these questions. Your your first introduced to this idea, 0:08:22.840 --> 0:08:26.480 you said by your great aunt, your grandmother's twin sister. Yes, 0:08:27.040 --> 0:08:31.800 do you when you hear her say this immediately rejected? 0:08:31.840 --> 0:08:34.160 Do you buy into it? Where are you at when 0:08:34.200 --> 0:08:37.120 this is first introduced to you? I I find it 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:41.959 hard to immediately reject anybody who has seen as much 0:08:42.000 --> 0:08:44.600 as she seen. Sure, I find it. I find find 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:47.920 it hard to like immediately like cast aside their thoughts 0:08:47.960 --> 0:08:50.800 and like, well, they've made it this far. They saw 0:08:51.120 --> 0:08:54.199 TVs come on the screen, and now they know how 0:08:54.240 --> 0:08:57.679 to use iPhones, you know, like now they know how 0:08:57.679 --> 0:09:01.120 to how to use Marco Polo. So so they understand 0:09:01.200 --> 0:09:05.920 some ship and they understand how to adapt two things 0:09:05.960 --> 0:09:09.640 that were inconceivable to them at one point. Right, So 0:09:09.679 --> 0:09:12.240 I try to reverse engineer that, and I'm like, okay, cool, 0:09:13.120 --> 0:09:17.480 Maybe what she's saying made sense for when she was 0:09:18.360 --> 0:09:21.720 out there getting it in, you know, But I still 0:09:21.800 --> 0:09:25.720 even with that, I can't reverse engineering in my head 0:09:25.760 --> 0:09:29.320 to see what the world must have been like. That 0:09:29.400 --> 0:09:34.280 was this sort of discovery. Right, it's in some ways, 0:09:34.480 --> 0:09:37.200 and we don't, I think give older people enough credit 0:09:37.280 --> 0:09:42.520 for this. They have made transformations comparable to those of 0:09:42.559 --> 0:09:46.200 a caveman. Do you want to mean that? Literally? They 0:09:46.200 --> 0:09:49.680 were at one point like needing to to husk their 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:53.840 own and chuck their own food to survive. And then 0:09:53.880 --> 0:09:56.760 we get it prepackaged and sort of like cut up 0:09:56.800 --> 0:10:00.920 for us and like removed of all the different pollutants 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:03.240 and all bad things that might be in it. And 0:10:03.320 --> 0:10:07.760 so we're coulding gastro ship. Yeah, and it's like, oh, 0:10:07.800 --> 0:10:10.560 what the I know that you can make turkey tastes 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:13.200 like this and that's all you're doing. You just cut 0:10:13.240 --> 0:10:15.960 the you cut the head off a pig, and that's 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:17.960 what you eat. You just eat this pig body. And 0:10:17.960 --> 0:10:20.560 I'm like, right, we don't have to do that no more, 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:23.640 you know, And if you're still hungry, eat the nose. 0:10:24.120 --> 0:10:28.079 It's sitting there. We got it. Yeah. And so to 0:10:28.160 --> 0:10:32.160 that point, you have this entire generation of people that 0:10:32.320 --> 0:10:37.400 lived under a certain like a series of facts of 0:10:37.480 --> 0:10:42.079 things that that were truly for survival, and now we're 0:10:42.120 --> 0:10:44.600 looking at it and we're like, well, that's that's not 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:48.280 true or that isn't necessary, but that's not necessarily right 0:10:48.720 --> 0:10:52.440 because it was true for their generation and the things 0:10:52.480 --> 0:10:54.760 that they needed in order to get to the point 0:10:54.960 --> 0:10:58.160 where they could use an iPhone or or make a 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:01.320 Marco polo that you take a week to respond to 0:11:01.520 --> 0:11:04.520 because we don't know how to say yeah, I miss 0:11:04.559 --> 0:11:09.880 you two to your you know what I mean? Absolutely absolutely. 0:11:09.920 --> 0:11:12.760 It's like when you see like a time lapse of 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:17.040 like a fish somehow getting legs and coming on shore, 0:11:17.080 --> 0:11:19.440 and it's like, oh, sometimes fish became a monkey, and 0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:22.720 it's like, I don't understand how it happened, but fishes 0:11:22.720 --> 0:11:25.600 are monkeys now, and a good man can knot the 0:11:25.640 --> 0:11:27.960 balls off a baby. You know. That's what it is. 0:11:28.880 --> 0:11:30.760 So I'm like, Okay, something that even if I don't 0:11:31.320 --> 0:11:35.280 believe it's scientifically, even if I scientifically and like with 0:11:35.320 --> 0:11:39.559 my active brain, rejects all notions of it, I spiritually 0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:43.160 have to subscribe to it. Yes, And I think that 0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:49.000 that is something that is often lost in the conversations 0:11:49.040 --> 0:11:51.120 with the Internet, with the way that we speak to 0:11:51.160 --> 0:11:55.200 each other nowadays, is that I scientifically can disprove a 0:11:55.280 --> 0:11:58.840 lot of what my parents believe, grandparents, all of that. 0:11:59.160 --> 0:12:01.520 But on a s a ritual level, I can still 0:12:01.559 --> 0:12:04.800 connect with you. I can still allow you to be 0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:08.320 a reasonable person in my life and world in mind 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:11.160 and not just go shut up, you old bitch and 0:12:11.760 --> 0:12:15.400 throw you to the wayside. M hm. It's so easy too, 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:17.840 It's so easy to throw them to the wayside. Yes, 0:12:17.920 --> 0:12:21.319 but then what would we be? Who would we be then? 0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:24.680 You know, we wouldn't know how that fish got legs 0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:29.280 if we don't fishes around to be like, Okay, I 0:12:29.320 --> 0:12:31.320 need to figure out how to get back to this 0:12:31.679 --> 0:12:35.000 because because it feels like any any day now she's 0:12:35.040 --> 0:12:38.040 gonna pop off and a lot of nig is gonna 0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:41.280 be fishes again, you know. And he's like, okay, hey, 0:12:41.400 --> 0:12:42.880 we gotta figure out how you're gonna get back to 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:45.200 be in these monkeys. How are you gonna get you know? 0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:51.280 And I will say I don't I And we've had 0:12:51.320 --> 0:12:55.120 this conversation a few times in various spaces. I don't 0:12:55.200 --> 0:13:00.000 know that. I believe that the current state that human 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:04.040 and have evolved too is our best form. Now, I'm 0:13:04.040 --> 0:13:07.560 not saying that I think you know earlier evolution. I 0:13:07.640 --> 0:13:09.760 know for certain like I can't lock it in on 0:13:09.800 --> 0:13:12.560 some magga ship to be like this is when the 0:13:12.600 --> 0:13:15.320 thing was great and we fucked it up around here. 0:13:15.720 --> 0:13:18.240 But I don't know that us being locked in our 0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:22.440 phones and sort of like constantly self conscious and struggling 0:13:22.520 --> 0:13:26.400 for attention while simultaneously not having the ability to communicate 0:13:26.440 --> 0:13:30.000 with each other is is the best way that humans 0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:32.840 could be, you know what I mean? Absolutely. I think 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:36.320 about it a lot with like change, like political change. Yes, 0:13:36.559 --> 0:13:39.360 Like I'm like, oh, like a while back, I feel 0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:43.400 like things were changing pretty at a pretty decent clip. 0:13:43.800 --> 0:13:46.440 But now everybody is more connective, we see more ship, 0:13:46.559 --> 0:13:49.040 but I don't feel like things are changing nearly as quickly. 0:13:49.360 --> 0:13:51.240 And I don't know that there's like a one to 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:55.800 one about that, but it is just interesting to me. Yeah. Yeah, 0:13:56.040 --> 0:13:59.080 it's hard to know where we are right and where 0:13:59.120 --> 0:14:02.600 we are wrong, but it's definitely, I think easy to 0:14:02.720 --> 0:14:06.280 say we ain't all the way right right now, you 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:11.160 know what I mean? Absolutely? Absolutely. Okay, let me ask 0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:14.439 you this. Because she says this to you, you spiritually 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:18.240 at least identify or or reason with the thing that 0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:22.480 she's saying. Do you as a person now far from 0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:25.600 that moment I assume where she originally gave you this idea. 0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:29.840 Do you find yourself feeling like this is a thing 0:14:29.960 --> 0:14:32.240 that still lives in my head? Is this something you 0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:36.640 plan to to pass on to another generation as as 0:14:36.760 --> 0:14:39.480 spiritual truth? Or are you like I have two dead 0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:42.360 this right now for my family so that this no 0:14:42.400 --> 0:14:45.440 longer is treated as fact. I am not far removed 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:49.880 from hearing this fact. I heard this fact three days ago. WHOA, 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:53.520 So I am still reckoning with it. I feel very 0:14:53.560 --> 0:14:56.960 much reckoning with it. I heard it and I immediately 0:14:57.040 --> 0:14:59.080 was like, well, this is what what we're talking about it? 0:14:59.120 --> 0:15:01.440 And if you're talking about I'm still working with I'm 0:15:01.440 --> 0:15:05.000 still going through the men in my life, thinking about 0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:08.600 their relationships with themselves, their relationships with the women in 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:12.480 their lives, who they are at work, and trying to think, okay, cool, 0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:15.440 is this a good man? Yeah? What what kind of 0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:19.360 child is this good man has? And okay, quit? I 0:15:19.360 --> 0:15:21.400 need to feel like maybe I need to rethink what 0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:24.640 it means to be a good man. WHOA? And so 0:15:25.360 --> 0:15:27.880 I know you said you have a brother. How many 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:31.880 of y'all are? Is it? Is it just? Yet? It's 0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:35.040 just y'all too so, okay, this and this is gonna 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:37.640 be a challenging question, but I have to ask it. 0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:41.800 Do you qualify your own father as a good man? 0:15:42.080 --> 0:15:45.760 I will say, I think that my father is a 0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:49.840 good father. Do I a good man? I think that 0:15:49.960 --> 0:15:53.000 he has blossomed into a good man at the time 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:56.280 of knocking it down, I don't know that he was 0:15:56.560 --> 0:16:00.320 a good man at that moment. WHOA, Yeah, So I 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:05.200 think if my dad now was and bringing my mother today, 0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:07.520 you might be looking at a little garisha, you know, 0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:11.040 if he ready to knock some balls off. If he 0:16:11.120 --> 0:16:13.960 did it today, absolutely, today he knock some balls off. 0:16:14.000 --> 0:16:16.920 But back then, I don't know. Back in he's back 0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:19.320 in the eighties, he was a different kind of Niga, 0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:26.120 you know he was. That's so fascinating because it it does, 0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:29.600 And this, this I think connects back to our conversation 0:16:29.640 --> 0:16:33.720 about evolution, because it does then imply that this good 0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:38.600 man is not a permanence as much as a transition, 0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:43.479 a thing that can come and go in a person's life. Absolutely, absolutely, 0:16:43.520 --> 0:16:46.360 we are only as good as you were yesterday. WHOA, 0:16:47.160 --> 0:16:49.960 that sounds like some something. She also said, uh, in 0:16:50.000 --> 0:16:52.760 that conversation just cooked up and I'm just like, oh, 0:16:52.800 --> 0:17:01.560 I might St Louis and really me, you know. Okay, 0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:05.000 So you're seeing the potential at least of the good 0:17:05.000 --> 0:17:07.639 man that your dad was or could be, but not 0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:10.800 the good man that he necessarily was in conceiving you 0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:14.040 and your brother. Do you feel like you can say 0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:18.520 the same for the other men in your life who 0:17:18.560 --> 0:17:22.120 have who have I guess you can are created men 0:17:22.520 --> 0:17:26.600 who have who have helped create boys. H I try 0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:29.840 to think about my homies growing up and what their 0:17:29.920 --> 0:17:34.359 dads were like, Yeah, and there was one dad that 0:17:34.440 --> 0:17:37.040 I thought like specifically, like oh, that's a good dude. 0:17:37.760 --> 0:17:40.240 But as I've gotten older, I was like, I think 0:17:40.240 --> 0:17:42.160 this nigg might have been lazy as hell. He might 0:17:42.160 --> 0:17:44.400 have been ship. You know, he might have just been 0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:47.560 around all the time because he was like not active. 0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:51.000 It wasn't like he wanted to be around. And he 0:17:51.040 --> 0:17:53.479 was always like kind of just like talking ship to us. 0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:54.879 So I was like, oh he could because he just 0:17:54.880 --> 0:17:57.439 be like kicking And I'm like, you don't talk to 0:17:57.520 --> 0:18:04.880 kids like that. For me, Hey man, this is gonna 0:18:04.880 --> 0:18:07.439 have lasting effects from my on my person. What are 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:09.679 you doing? Absolutely right? And now I can talk to 0:18:09.760 --> 0:18:14.399 my friends about what I'm proud about anymore because there's 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:17.480 a there's a four year old in the corner just 0:18:17.480 --> 0:18:20.320 just heckling me exactly, being like, oh, you think you're 0:18:20.320 --> 0:18:22.679 good because you made that free throw, and I'm like, 0:18:22.960 --> 0:18:28.880 leave me alone. Yeah, I'm trying to get better at least, Like, yeah, 0:18:28.920 --> 0:18:31.680 that free throw ment a lot to me. Yeah, absolutely, 0:18:31.680 --> 0:18:36.760 I wouldn't always knocking down free throws. I love that 0:18:36.880 --> 0:18:39.880 it does. I mean, okay, so you know that I'm 0:18:39.960 --> 0:18:44.440 I'm having a kid, I'm having a daughter, which naturally 0:18:44.520 --> 0:18:47.159 this this conspiracy theory gave me a little bit of 0:18:47.880 --> 0:18:51.160 excitement that it made me feel good, like, oh, ship, 0:18:51.320 --> 0:18:54.840 maybe I am secretly knocking balls off because you know, 0:18:55.000 --> 0:18:58.880 I girls largely running my family that this isn't uh, 0:18:59.000 --> 0:19:01.719 I think it be. I am the only boy that 0:19:01.800 --> 0:19:05.160 my mom had, and I'm one of four on her 0:19:05.280 --> 0:19:07.960 side of things, and then my dad only had me 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:11.280 and my brother, but my brothers adopted, so he didn't 0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:13.879 That wouldn't come from his ball. It was just you know, 0:19:14.000 --> 0:19:19.119 his pocketbook. I guess he had a bad man a 0:19:19.160 --> 0:19:24.199 little bit he turned into a good man. Uh, and 0:19:24.280 --> 0:19:27.840 he's not turning him into a good man really well, 0:19:27.880 --> 0:19:31.440 he's a he's a he's a fine person. He works 0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:34.159 at UPS. Right now he's figuring his ship out. But 0:19:34.720 --> 0:19:36.920 you know he ain't nailing it right now, but he'll 0:19:36.960 --> 0:19:41.800 he'll figure he's twenty two. Who among us? Yeah out here? Who? Yeah? 0:19:41.840 --> 0:19:44.520 Who had twenty two? Would have had a boy? Not me, 0:19:45.119 --> 0:19:47.680 had had a little girl, a girl? Yeah, I would 0:19:47.680 --> 0:19:50.680 have made all boys at twenty two. That was that 0:19:50.720 --> 0:19:57.200 a little army, you know, hellish coming out screaming, mean, 0:19:58.000 --> 0:20:02.000 just what weird neck veins and absolutely just like knew 0:20:02.040 --> 0:20:04.399 it was the ship. And it's like, shut up, you 0:20:04.800 --> 0:20:07.960 get out of here, you baby. Yeah, you suck, you 0:20:08.080 --> 0:20:12.960 suck exactly. Okay, So so you're identifying all these people. 0:20:12.960 --> 0:20:15.959 But no, to the larger point I guess is it 0:20:16.040 --> 0:20:19.720 does give I guess a man some kind of confidence 0:20:20.359 --> 0:20:24.439 in entering into this relationship with a a girl, baby 0:20:24.520 --> 0:20:28.240 and with girls in general, where like some of it 0:20:28.240 --> 0:20:32.320 feels like it's a measure of the man as he is, 0:20:32.400 --> 0:20:35.320 and some of it feels almost like words of encouragement 0:20:35.800 --> 0:20:38.800 for a man going into something that in a lot 0:20:38.840 --> 0:20:41.600 of ways is foreign for most men. Most of us 0:20:41.640 --> 0:20:44.080 don't know how to raise a girl or how to 0:20:44.240 --> 0:20:48.719 be decent even to women. And so part of it 0:20:48.760 --> 0:20:51.440 is it seems like it's like an affirmation your aunt 0:20:51.520 --> 0:20:53.680 is offering, being like, if you end up with a girl, 0:20:54.080 --> 0:20:56.280 you two ship, and you gotta keep being the ship 0:20:56.400 --> 0:21:00.119 so that she turns out. Okay, Yeah, absolutely, And I 0:21:00.119 --> 0:21:02.000 think about that because I think about our homies who 0:21:02.040 --> 0:21:07.959 have little girls and how they're so they're so present 0:21:08.000 --> 0:21:10.480 in a way that our homies with like boy kids 0:21:10.560 --> 0:21:12.400 aren't like aren't like nothing like our homes. Boy kids 0:21:12.440 --> 0:21:15.920 aren't present. But there is just a totally different energy 0:21:16.160 --> 0:21:20.360 watching the homie with like his six month old daughter. Yes, 0:21:20.600 --> 0:21:24.720 it's like a very wild it's start in comparison. Yeah. 0:21:25.280 --> 0:21:29.600 So my barber is this dude who who for the 0:21:29.640 --> 0:21:32.200 most part, is just a ship talker. He spends most 0:21:32.240 --> 0:21:34.240 of the day just he's one of them I think 0:21:34.320 --> 0:21:37.080 first black barbers are. It's just every he got an 0:21:37.080 --> 0:21:39.439 opinion on everything. He's gonna tell you what it is 0:21:39.480 --> 0:21:42.880 and what did we tell you what to eat? Yes, exactly. 0:21:43.000 --> 0:21:45.560 Fishy's like you gotta eat more fish and it's like, yeah, 0:21:45.600 --> 0:21:49.560 everything that he knows the secret to some ship that 0:21:49.560 --> 0:21:52.600 that you didn't, And it's like, motherfucker, you can't possibly 0:21:52.640 --> 0:21:57.359 be this wise. You work here, you're pulling down twenty 0:21:57.440 --> 0:22:02.320 five bucks every half hour. Come on, now, come on, 0:22:02.400 --> 0:22:05.600 big dog, you ain't. You ain't doing all that. But 0:22:05.720 --> 0:22:09.760 he has two daughters, and in speaking about his experience 0:22:09.880 --> 0:22:12.919 as like a father two daughters, you can see a 0:22:13.000 --> 0:22:15.919 type of shift in his in his language and his 0:22:16.000 --> 0:22:20.840 body language, in just his ability to recognize that softness 0:22:20.880 --> 0:22:24.560 you're talking about and not feel a shame about it. 0:22:24.760 --> 0:22:26.439 And I think even with the men that I know 0:22:26.520 --> 0:22:31.359 that have like sons, they still are flexing their big 0:22:31.400 --> 0:22:34.400 boy muscles when they talk about their their sons. They're 0:22:34.440 --> 0:22:37.640 not able to go like, man, I just I fucking 0:22:37.720 --> 0:22:39.399 like that guy. I just want to hang out. He 0:22:39.480 --> 0:22:41.480 is my best friend. I want to kiss his cheeks. 0:22:41.920 --> 0:22:45.199 It's it's very like, yeah, e cool and not fun 0:22:45.320 --> 0:22:48.920 with him. It's like, don't you do you know any 0:22:49.000 --> 0:22:52.040 dudes that are like my dad's my best friend? No? 0:22:52.160 --> 0:22:57.159 Not good ones? Yeah, for sure, for sure, absolutely, But 0:22:57.200 --> 0:22:59.840 I feel like I know not a ton of women, 0:22:59.880 --> 0:23:02.040 but like it's more common to you, like, oh my 0:23:02.080 --> 0:23:04.080 mom's my best friend. I've heard that before with women. 0:23:04.080 --> 0:23:07.800 I've never heard that, what the dude? Yeah, okay, let 0:23:07.800 --> 0:23:09.879 me ask you this last question. I think we're going 0:23:09.920 --> 0:23:12.560 to go to break with all of this, that that 0:23:12.640 --> 0:23:16.600 you are sort of like I guess, dealing in and 0:23:17.040 --> 0:23:20.680 discovering this piece of information from your great aunt and 0:23:20.800 --> 0:23:23.760 trying to wrestle with what it all means. Do you 0:23:23.920 --> 0:23:29.000 feel like you've landed on a definition of what would 0:23:29.160 --> 0:23:32.240 would allow you the strength to knock some balls off 0:23:32.280 --> 0:23:34.720 and be qualified as a good man? Do you feel 0:23:34.760 --> 0:23:40.000 like you know good man by definition? Not by definition? 0:23:40.119 --> 0:23:43.080 But I know it by sight? You know, I know 0:23:43.200 --> 0:23:45.280 it by I know the gate of a good man. 0:23:46.040 --> 0:23:48.680 You know, I got I got a point out to 0:23:48.720 --> 0:23:51.760 do man on the street real quick now. But if 0:23:51.760 --> 0:23:53.840 I had to sit right here in like write it down, 0:23:53.880 --> 0:23:56.200 I couldn't do that for you. I got you? Are 0:23:56.240 --> 0:24:00.840 there any Are there any identifying qualities that that the 0:24:00.880 --> 0:24:04.000 novice should look out for? Is are we talking tuck 0:24:04.119 --> 0:24:06.920 and t shirt? Or are we does Is that where 0:24:06.920 --> 0:24:10.040 a good man starts or is it a good man 0:24:10.160 --> 0:24:14.520 starts with aspiration? Whether it's like whether a good man 0:24:14.720 --> 0:24:16.520 it's like, oh, you don't need to have a good job, 0:24:17.200 --> 0:24:19.000 but you need to know that that you want a 0:24:19.000 --> 0:24:21.560 good job. You don't be in a good, Like you 0:24:21.560 --> 0:24:23.440