1
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,720
Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome to a new episode of couch

2
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:15,120
Speaker 1: Talks on You Need Therapy Podcast.

3
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:16,040
Speaker 2: My name is Kat.

4
00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:18,439
Speaker 1: I am the host, and if you don't know what

5
00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:21,239
Speaker 1: couch Talks is, it is the special bonus episode of

6
00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:24,119
Speaker 1: You Need Therapy where I answer questions that you guys

7
00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:28,520
Speaker 1: send to me to Katherine at therapy podcast dot com.

8
00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:32,080
Speaker 1: And with that, we always like to remind you guys,

9
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,720
Speaker 1: especially on Wednesday, that although this is a podcast hosted

10
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:38,720
Speaker 1: by a therapist and we talk about therapisty things and

11
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:40,800
Speaker 1: things I have to do with therapy, this podcast does

12
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:43,080
Speaker 1: not serve as a replacement or a substitute for any

13
00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:46,240
Speaker 1: actual mental health services, and it can still be helpful

14
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,720
Speaker 1: on whatever journey you are on, and we always hope

15
00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:51,600
Speaker 1: that it is helpful. So before we get into the

16
00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:54,360
Speaker 1: question today one, I just feel like I need to

17
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,760
Speaker 1: say this, even though it's really not that relevant, but

18
00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:58,840
Speaker 1: I'm about to go on a walk, and I just

19
00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:00,960
Speaker 1: think that's fun because I hear a lot of you

20
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,960
Speaker 1: guys listen to couch Talks while you're on walks, and

21
00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,480
Speaker 1: so it's kind of like we're walking together even though

22
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:11,000
Speaker 1: I'm walking today and you're listening to this on another day. Anyway,

23
00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:15,000
Speaker 1: a little announcement before I get into the question. For

24
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:19,480
Speaker 1: those who live in Tennessee, my practice, Three Courts Therapy

25
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:24,240
Speaker 1: is expanding and has expanded, and I have recently brought

26
00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:28,560
Speaker 1: in two more therapists and they are taking on new clients.

27
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,840
Speaker 1: So I'm telling you guys that because if you've been

28
00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:34,480
Speaker 1: on the fence about starting therapy, you can't. You don't

29
00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:36,080
Speaker 1: know where to look for one, you don't know who

30
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:40,400
Speaker 1: you can trust for a recommendation, any of that. Now

31
00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:43,960
Speaker 1: is the time. I have two therapists that can take

32
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:47,360
Speaker 1: on new clients. And if that is you, you can

33
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:51,760
Speaker 1: message us through the website three Chords Therapy dot com,

34
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:55,040
Speaker 1: or you can send an email directly to me, Katherine

35
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:58,080
Speaker 1: at three Chords Therapy dot com to start that process.

36
00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:01,560
Speaker 1: And I just want you guys to know I one

37
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:05,120
Speaker 1: will never recommend a therapist to somebody if I don't

38
00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:08,400
Speaker 1: think they actually can be helpful. If it's outside of

39
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:12,120
Speaker 1: our scope, We're gonna direct you somewhere else. So you

40
00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:15,679
Speaker 1: can trust this place. You can trust reaching out to us,

41
00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:19,120
Speaker 1: and you can trust these two people that I've brought on.

42
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,760
Speaker 1: I'm really excited to have both of them their names

43
00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:24,800
Speaker 1: are Josie and Julia. So I didn't mean to bring

44
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,840
Speaker 1: on two jay names, but I did, and they go

45
00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:29,280
Speaker 1: nicely together, and so I'm excited about both of them.

46
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,120
Speaker 1: They both are going to bring and have already started

47
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:35,000
Speaker 1: bringing such good energy to our office. And that's what

48
00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:38,399
Speaker 1: you really want in a therapeutic environment is to walk

49
00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:42,239
Speaker 1: in and just be like, ah, like I can be myself,

50
00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:45,680
Speaker 1: I can relax, I'm allowed to be scared, I can

51
00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:46,360
Speaker 1: be all the things.

52
00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:48,560
Speaker 2: So I'm very excited about bringing them on.

53
00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:51,600
Speaker 1: It means a lot that I even have the ability

54
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:54,359
Speaker 1: to bring them on and help them grow and get

55
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:55,200
Speaker 1: to where they want.

56
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:59,000
Speaker 2: To be career wise and therapeutic wise. And I think

57
00:02:59,040 --> 00:02:59,840
Speaker 2: it's cool that I can help.

58
00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,639
Speaker 1: More so if that as you reach out to us,

59
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:05,000
Speaker 1: just wanted to give that little shout.

60
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,800
Speaker 2: Out to that part of my life.

61
00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:10,760
Speaker 1: Now let's get into today's question and reminder for everybody,

62
00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:12,639
Speaker 1: we always keep these anonymous, so you don't have to

63
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,760
Speaker 1: worry about me reading your name or giving everybody your

64
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:17,160
Speaker 1: email address out so you can send in your question.

65
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,960
Speaker 1: The only information I will tell the people on this

66
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,200
Speaker 1: podcast is the information that you give me in your question.

67
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:26,400
Speaker 1: So here's today's question. My husband and I were fired

68
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:29,640
Speaker 1: from therapy this week due to his alcoholism, which is

69
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:32,560
Speaker 1: why we were in therapy. We were told upfront this

70
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,440
Speaker 1: could happen if she began to suspect more work needed

71
00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:39,280
Speaker 1: to be done than was in her scope. He's refusing treatment.

72
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,960
Speaker 1: I am safe, My kids are safe. He's currently in

73
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,240
Speaker 1: the cycle of not drinking. He is starting personal therapy

74
00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:49,280
Speaker 1: this week. I have been in personal therapy for some time.

75
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:51,680
Speaker 1: When is it okay for me to walk away?

76
00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:52,840
Speaker 2: Okay?

77
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,040
Speaker 1: So I would bet that anybody who is an avid

78
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:59,080
Speaker 1: listener of couch Talks can guess my first thought, and

79
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:03,200
Speaker 1: that would be I can't necessarily answer this question for you. However,

80
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,080
Speaker 1: I can still give you some things to think about

81
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:10,240
Speaker 1: that might help you answer it or realize you've already

82
00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:10,680
Speaker 1: answered it.

83
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,440
Speaker 2: So to start, there isn't.

84
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,800
Speaker 1: And watch out for people who tell you that there is.

85
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,960
Speaker 1: But there isn't one right or wrong time to leave

86
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:24,080
Speaker 1: a marriage. It depends on every unique situation, every unique relationship.

87
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,159
Speaker 1: What works for some people don't work for other people.

88
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,440
Speaker 1: Some people have to squeeze the lemons, some people don't

89
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,560
Speaker 1: have to do that at all, And so there's not

90
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,840
Speaker 1: one answer that I can really give anybody, there is

91
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:35,880
Speaker 1: an answer that's going to feel right to you, and

92
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:39,320
Speaker 1: sometimes accepting that and acknowledging that there is an answer,

93
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,960
Speaker 1: it might not be the answer that I really want

94
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,680
Speaker 1: it to be, or I don't even want to be

95
00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:46,000
Speaker 1: in this situation, might be really where we need to

96
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,920
Speaker 1: navigate in these situations. And this actually makes me think

97
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:53,360
Speaker 1: about something that Mike Foster said in our episode from Monday.

98
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,080
Speaker 2: If you haven't listened to that.

99
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:58,479
Speaker 1: Episode, it was so good, so I highly recommend you

100
00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:01,240
Speaker 1: go back and give that a lesson. But he talked

101
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:05,440
Speaker 1: about how at a certain point in his healing journey

102
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,440
Speaker 1: he decided that I'm going to stop agreeing with my pain,

103
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,680
Speaker 1: and once I stopped agreeing with my pain, I was

104
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,720
Speaker 1: able to kind of acknowledge and move out of this

105
00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:19,000
Speaker 1: denial period that kept me in the pain. And that's

106
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,440
Speaker 1: one of the things that might be showing up here,

107
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:24,799
Speaker 1: is like some denial of what's really going on, because

108
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,840
Speaker 1: it's scary. Once you acknowledge it, then I have to

109
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,240
Speaker 1: do something. But the cool thing is, and it sounds

110
00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:31,280
Speaker 1: like I'm saying all this, it sounds like you've acknowledged

111
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,000
Speaker 1: quite a bit because you guys are even in therapy

112
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:36,479
Speaker 1: and you're in your own personal therapy. But I like

113
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:39,359
Speaker 1: to say, the only way through is through. It's like

114
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,560
Speaker 1: that little what is that little riddle we had as kids?

115
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,760
Speaker 1: It's like, you can't go over it, you can't go

116
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,440
Speaker 1: under it, you can't. I don't know how it went.

117
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:50,000
Speaker 1: It might actually not even work with what I'm saying,

118
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:53,120
Speaker 1: but we got to go through it. And the cool

119
00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:55,240
Speaker 1: thing is once we get through it, you're through it

120
00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:57,080
Speaker 1: and there's going to be something on the other side

121
00:05:57,080 --> 00:06:00,360
Speaker 1: that maybe you don't even know is there. I mean,

122
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,840
Speaker 1: like in a good surprise kind of way. So I

123
00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,400
Speaker 1: say all of this because this is a very individual

124
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:09,080
Speaker 1: situation and I want you to honor that because sometimes

125
00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:10,599
Speaker 1: when we're in these places, we want to go ask

126
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:11,160
Speaker 1: all these other.

127
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:12,320
Speaker 2: People, what would you do? What would you do? What

128
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:13,599
Speaker 2: would do? What do you think? What do you think?

129
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,960
Speaker 1: And what somebody else thinks might not be what you

130
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,400
Speaker 1: need and what somebody else would do might not be

131
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,320
Speaker 1: your right answer. It might be, but it might not

132
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,680
Speaker 1: always be. So we have to always be bringing it back. Okay,

133
00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:25,440
Speaker 1: what does that feel.

134
00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:26,719
Speaker 2: Like to me? Now?

135
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:30,120
Speaker 1: Because I don't think there is one right or wrong

136
00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:32,440
Speaker 1: answer for this. There's not something I can say easily

137
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:33,839
Speaker 1: of like, well, if he does this, or if he

138
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:36,799
Speaker 1: does this, or if you think this. What I would

139
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:41,359
Speaker 1: be interested in here is asking yourself the question what

140
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:45,640
Speaker 1: is keeping me in this? Because so often we look

141
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:49,440
Speaker 1: at reasons to leave as well reasons to leave, but

142
00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:52,320
Speaker 1: I think a lot of our reasons to stay can

143
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:57,680
Speaker 1: give us actually a reason to leave. For example, if

144
00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:01,200
Speaker 1: I'm staying because I don't want to hurt my partner feelings, well,

145
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:02,760
Speaker 1: I personally don't know if I would want to be

146
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,160
Speaker 1: somebody who's with me just because they don't want hurt

147
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:09,440
Speaker 1: my feelings. I'm not everybody, but if I acknowledge that,

148
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:12,080
Speaker 1: like that's why I'm staying in this, it might really

149
00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:14,640
Speaker 1: wake up a party of you that's like, wait a second,

150
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:18,520
Speaker 1: I'm doing all of this for this, and I might

151
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:21,160
Speaker 1: encourage you in one way or the other. If you're

152
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,760
Speaker 1: staying because I don't think my kids would like it

153
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,239
Speaker 1: if I left my husband or I left their father,

154
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:29,480
Speaker 1: well it also might not be the best interest.

155
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:30,760
Speaker 2: For the kids for you to stay in a marriage.

156
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,360
Speaker 1: If you're not happy and you don't feel emotionally safe

157
00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:37,920
Speaker 1: and you're sacrificing a big part of you who you are.

158
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:41,480
Speaker 1: And also if I'm staying because I'm worried this person

159
00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:44,240
Speaker 1: won't be okay without me, that might not be true,

160
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,120
Speaker 1: but it also might enable the person to be reliant

161
00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:50,000
Speaker 1: on you. And well, I don't know, maybe you're getting

162
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,440
Speaker 1: more than you think you are out of somebody being

163
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,640
Speaker 1: dependent on you, and that might be a whole other

164
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:55,720
Speaker 1: thing for you to explore.

165
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,200
Speaker 2: And maybe I hear this a lot.

166
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,760
Speaker 1: Like I'm afraid I won't find anything else.

167
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,040
Speaker 2: I'm scared of being alone.

168
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,720
Speaker 1: And if those are your reasons to stay, like if

169
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:08,120
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm going to find anything better than this,

170
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,800
Speaker 1: it's one thing if you say like, oh, there can't

171
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:12,800
Speaker 1: be anything better than this. I found this person that

172
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:15,800
Speaker 1: fulfills these parts of a relationship I want, and I

173
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:18,080
Speaker 1: feel so happy and loved and cared for and a da.

174
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:18,520
Speaker 2: Da da dada.

175
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:22,120
Speaker 1: That's not the same as well, I'm afraid this is

176
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:23,760
Speaker 1: like as good as it's going to getting, there won't

177
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,520
Speaker 1: be anything else. It's better than this. You see how

178
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:29,320
Speaker 1: that feels different. But you can see kind of where

179
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:32,920
Speaker 1: I'm going with this. As the reasons we stay are

180
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,280
Speaker 1: often more telling than the reasons we think we should leave.

181
00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,839
Speaker 1: Then I would wonder, what do you really want to

182
00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:41,480
Speaker 1: keep you in a relationship? If you got to have

183
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:44,960
Speaker 1: the relationship you really really desire, what would you want

184
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,800
Speaker 1: that answer to be? Why would you want to stay

185
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,000
Speaker 1: in a relationship? And do these things add up? And

186
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:52,400
Speaker 1: do I think I'm worthy of or capable of finding

187
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,840
Speaker 1: that thing? And that might be something you explore with

188
00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:57,760
Speaker 1: your therapist, And it sounds like you, individually, this person

189
00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,320
Speaker 1: that with this question has a individual therapist that they

190
00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:03,080
Speaker 1: could work on that with. Now, I'm a firm believer

191
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,440
Speaker 1: in trying. Most of you guys know that. I'm a

192
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:09,480
Speaker 1: firm believer in working through conflict and tough seasons and

193
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:12,520
Speaker 1: tough times. And I'm also a firm believer in the

194
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:16,520
Speaker 1: idea that you cannot be in a relationship with somebody's potential.

195
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:20,480
Speaker 1: And so I hear a lot. I'm sure we've all

196
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:23,200
Speaker 1: heard this from a friend or a family member or

197
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:27,640
Speaker 1: somebody the well, what if I leave them and then

198
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,240
Speaker 1: they get it together and they work on all these

199
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:31,920
Speaker 1: things and they become the person that I want them

200
00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,800
Speaker 1: to be, and then they offer what I want them

201
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:35,559
Speaker 1: to offer me to somebody else, and then somebody else

202
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,840
Speaker 1: gets to be happy with them, I'll be so upset

203
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,920
Speaker 1: that I didn't wait or give them another chance. And

204
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,560
Speaker 1: I find that question interesting because what I would offer

205
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,320
Speaker 1: back is, well, what if you left and you found

206
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:50,040
Speaker 1: somebody who treats you how you always wanted to be treated? Like?

207
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,520
Speaker 1: What if you also found something on the other side that.

208
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:53,120
Speaker 2: Felt really good?

209
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,880
Speaker 1: It's just as likely as them shifting and changing. Actually

210
00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:57,800
Speaker 1: it's probably more likely.

211
00:09:58,040 --> 00:09:58,400
Speaker 2: I don't know.

212
00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,920
Speaker 1: I haven't done a research on that find the probability.

213
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,840
Speaker 1: But instead of worrying about what you would miss out on,

214
00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,800
Speaker 1: what would you gain? Like? What could you gain from this?

215
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:08,959
Speaker 1: And the reason I think this is important is because

216
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:11,800
Speaker 1: we cannot control how or when other people choose to change.

217
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,880
Speaker 1: We can control ourselves and only ourselves, And so we

218
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,080
Speaker 1: have to come back to that of what can I

219
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,320
Speaker 1: do to make my situation more desirable? What can I

220
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:23,120
Speaker 1: do to live a life that I actually want to

221
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:25,080
Speaker 1: be living? What can I do to shift that and

222
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:29,640
Speaker 1: make that happen? And lastly, I'm really curious about the

223
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:33,400
Speaker 1: person who wrote this email. This is specifically for you,

224
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,640
Speaker 1: but of course this can apply to so many people listening.

225
00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:42,640
Speaker 1: Sometimes I ask Patrick, my fiance, what outfit he likes

226
00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,040
Speaker 1: better when I'm getting dressed to go somewhere. And I've

227
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,559
Speaker 1: done this with friends in the past and family members,

228
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,360
Speaker 1: and I usually have one that I want him to pick.

229
00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,160
Speaker 1: So when I ask, I'm not really wondering what one

230
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:57,360
Speaker 1: he likes better. I'm more so just looking for some

231
00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,880
Speaker 1: validation that the one I like is okay or it's good.

232
00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:00,600
Speaker 2: Now.

233
00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:03,839
Speaker 1: What I really need in that scenario is to allow

234
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:07,360
Speaker 1: myself to trust myself. I know what I want to wear.

235
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,240
Speaker 1: I just have to allow myself to know what I know.

236
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:14,680
Speaker 1: And I'm wondering if maybe you already know what outfit

237
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:17,959
Speaker 1: you want to wear, but you're looking for a little encouragement,

238
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:21,320
Speaker 1: right You're scared to allow yourself to know what you know,

239
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,199
Speaker 1: And I just want to give you some food for thought.

240
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:27,880
Speaker 1: There maybe something you can explore with your therapist in

241
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,960
Speaker 1: a session. Is this a lack of me knowing? Or

242
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:35,240
Speaker 1: is this a fear of me knowing? Is this a

243
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:39,880
Speaker 1: fear of acknowledging? Is this a lack of trust within myself?

244
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,240
Speaker 1: Because sometimes in relationships, when they aren't and I don't

245
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,800
Speaker 1: know much about your relationship, I barely know anything but

246
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:48,960
Speaker 1: when there isn't a lot of trust in that relationship,

247
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,520
Speaker 1: we then also lose ourselves and we lose trust in ourselves.

248
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:56,200
Speaker 1: So maybe this is really more about you getting back

249
00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:59,360
Speaker 1: to realizing that you know more than you know, and

250
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:02,600
Speaker 1: you're smarter than you think, and you can't trust yourself.

251
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,760
Speaker 1: So that might just be something for you to chew

252
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:09,840
Speaker 1: on with your therapist maybe dissect. So as always, I

253
00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:12,560
Speaker 1: hope this was helpful, hope it gave you something to

254
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,960
Speaker 1: think about in process, And if you guys have any

255
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:18,520
Speaker 1: more questions, you can always reach out to me Catherine

256
00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:21,440
Speaker 1: at You Need Therapy podcast dot com. And if you

257
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,400
Speaker 1: were one of those people that said, Hey, I live

258
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:24,640
Speaker 1: in Tennessee and I want to meet with one of

259
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,600
Speaker 1: those therapists you hired, you can go to three Quarts

260
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:28,559
Speaker 1: Therapy dot com.

261
00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:30,800
Speaker 2: Like I said, I will put that link in the notes.

262
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:33,640
Speaker 1: And I hope you guys are having the day you

263
00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:36,400
Speaker 1: need to have and I will see you slash talk

264
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:45,200
Speaker 1: to you again on Monday