1 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:08,039 Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental wealth podcast 2 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:13,720 Speaker 1: build you from the inside out. Now Here's Jay Glacier. 3 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:17,560 Speaker 1: Welcome into Breakable and mental Wealth podcast with Jay Glazer. 4 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:21,239 Speaker 1: I'm Jay Glazer and today's guest is a great friend 5 00:00:21,239 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: of mine. 6 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 2: She is up for an Emmy now a rising. 7 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:28,400 Speaker 1: Star in this business. But she has a story that 8 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:31,240 Speaker 1: nobody knows that. When I first heard it, I was 9 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 1: the NFL Owners Meeting. I started crying, so I wanted 10 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 1: to bring her on before I get to her. If 11 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:38,920 Speaker 1: you're like many people, you may be surprised to learn 12 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,920 Speaker 1: that one in five adults in this country experienced mental 13 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:44,560 Speaker 1: illness last year. Get far too many failed to receive 14 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:47,920 Speaker 1: the support they need. Carolyn Behavioral Health is doing something 15 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:50,360 Speaker 1: about it. They understand that behavioral health is a key 16 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:54,640 Speaker 1: part of full health, delivering compassion care that treats physical, mental, emotional, 17 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: social needs and tandem. 18 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 2: Carolyn behavioral Health raising. 19 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: The quality of life through empathy and action. All right, 20 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 1: Welcome into Unbreakable, a mental wealth podcast with Jay g Laser. 21 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,840 Speaker 1: I'm Jay Glaser and I wanted to bring this guest on. 22 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:10,399 Speaker 1: She's I can consider a friend. I am so proud 23 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 1: of the work. She's doing it, doing it the right way. 24 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,920 Speaker 1: But like I said, there was a story she has 25 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:18,800 Speaker 1: that nobody knew, and I knew half of it, not 26 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:22,240 Speaker 1: the rest of it. And when her teammate Andrew Whitworth, 27 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,679 Speaker 1: who was my longtime training partner, told me this at 28 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:26,960 Speaker 1: the NFL Owners meeting, I started crying in front of 29 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:29,000 Speaker 1: wit and He's like, you gotta get her on the podcast. 30 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:32,520 Speaker 1: But this it's Kaylee Hartongue, who is a sideline reporter 31 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 1: for Prime Videos inaugural Thursday Night Football crew with you know, 32 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 1: Al Michaels and Kirk Herbstreet. She did the NFL Draft, 33 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:43,160 Speaker 1: she was part of NBC Sports playoff coverage and like 34 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 1: I said, nominated FORIGN Emmy. How cool is that? Kaylee 35 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 1: Hartung How you doing? 36 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 3: I think that's the first time I've been introduced with 37 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:57,520 Speaker 3: that honor in front of my name, which is absolutely wild, 38 00:01:58,080 --> 00:01:58,880 Speaker 3: very cool. 39 00:01:58,920 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 4: Much appreciated. 40 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,720 Speaker 3: I knew. I mean, gosh, you guys on Fox, I mean, Jay, 41 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:05,160 Speaker 3: you guys clean up every year. But I think for 42 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,680 Speaker 3: us being new to the game so to speak, with 43 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 3: Amazon and how hard our crews work, none of us 44 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,240 Speaker 3: do any of these jobs alone, right, So I think 45 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:17,960 Speaker 3: the coolest thing for me is just knowing how grateful 46 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 3: I am and how lucky I am to get to 47 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,360 Speaker 3: work with the people I do who support me and 48 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 3: put me in a position too. No no, no, no 49 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 3: to tell great story. 50 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,160 Speaker 1: No no, this should be your Emmy speech, ready, if 51 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:27,919 Speaker 1: you win the I mean, this should be your speech. Hey, 52 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,400 Speaker 1: there's a lot of people that like to Actually, no, 53 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:33,120 Speaker 1: there's not. I did this ship myself and they dropped 54 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:34,119 Speaker 1: the mic and just walk off. 55 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 4: You go off, Yes, there you go exactly. 56 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:40,920 Speaker 3: I mean they only let me talk for like twenty 57 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,520 Speaker 3: two seconds during a game anyway. 58 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,240 Speaker 4: So if there is a. 59 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,400 Speaker 3: World in which I win, which I don't think there is, 60 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,680 Speaker 3: that speech will be twenty two seconds to the number, 61 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 3: and fred Didelli will be very proud of me if 62 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:52,240 Speaker 3: that's the case. 63 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:54,040 Speaker 1: By the way, you said we clean up, We don't. 64 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 1: We did in the first This is my twenty first 65 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:59,000 Speaker 1: year of Fox. Last year's the first Emmy I wont 66 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 1: because when Fox started, I've been the one every year. 67 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 1: Then it was almost like I had enough with Fox already, 68 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:06,000 Speaker 1: Let's just move on to everybody else. And they never 69 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:09,200 Speaker 1: came back. Now, mind you, in all these years, I 70 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 1: have never won Emmy, but I was with our team 71 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,600 Speaker 1: inducted into the Television and Hall of Fame. So something's 72 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 1: off there as the only sports show ever inducted in 73 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:21,119 Speaker 1: Television Hall of Fame. 74 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:22,600 Speaker 4: But that's so cool. 75 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:26,919 Speaker 1: Yeah, I love it. And we're getting the award. We're 76 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:29,000 Speaker 1: in Vegas, and I there's two things and both have 77 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:31,640 Speaker 1: been a Howie long. I turned to Howie. I'm holding 78 00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:35,120 Speaker 1: this trophy in my hand, and it's two things I 79 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:38,080 Speaker 1: said to him. One, I said, dude, this is and 80 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 1: this is true and for an Emmy and this it's 81 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:45,160 Speaker 1: the first two things I've ever won without having to 82 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:47,920 Speaker 1: get the shit beat out of me to win them. 83 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: I've only one thing for fighting. I've never and you 84 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 1: know if I've had broken noses now and rupture distant 85 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:56,720 Speaker 1: all that, I've never had won anything in my life 86 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:57,920 Speaker 1: without getting a hell beat out of me. 87 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 3: We got this is what happens when that face gets 88 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 3: kept intact from yours. 89 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:07,080 Speaker 4: Jay, you know you went awards. Look at that. 90 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 1: But the other thing, I said, I'm holding this trophy up. 91 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 1: I got my little Rosie staple up here. I'm holding 92 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: this trophy up. And I looked to Howie and I go, hey, man, 93 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:17,320 Speaker 1: I know we're supposed to act like we've been there before, 94 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:19,360 Speaker 1: but fuck that, I haven't. 95 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 3: This shit is cool. 96 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:26,279 Speaker 4: Oh man, I love that. 97 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,359 Speaker 1: I want you to enjoy it when you win it, 98 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:30,560 Speaker 1: I want you to enjoy it. But even just being 99 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:33,240 Speaker 1: up for it, it is, it's it's such a blessing 100 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:34,680 Speaker 1: that again, and we're going to get this now with 101 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:38,120 Speaker 1: it's a great transition. Little Kaylee, right, a little girl, 102 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:39,839 Speaker 1: and you could turn around and tell her, like, man, 103 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 1: you're gonna one day you're going to grow up and 104 00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 1: you're gonna be up for an Emmy. 105 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:45,719 Speaker 3: I don't. 106 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:49,279 Speaker 4: I don't even know how ten year old me would 107 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:50,040 Speaker 4: react to that. 108 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 3: I think just it sounds cliche to say, but just 109 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:57,640 Speaker 3: being nominated among the people who I'm nominated with, like 110 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,800 Speaker 3: I've already won, that is so incredible just to be 111 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 3: thought of in that category. 112 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:07,359 Speaker 2: And yeah, you do a great job. And I touched 113 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,279 Speaker 2: you during game last year, right. 114 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,760 Speaker 3: I love when you text me during games. I love 115 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,960 Speaker 3: it so much. I like that real time feedback. 116 00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:16,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, but you're but you gave us information there was 117 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:20,640 Speaker 1: an injured player. You gave us information you didn't speculate. 118 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:21,200 Speaker 3: Was it Joe Burrow. 119 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 2: No, that that was Titans. He injured his neck. 120 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:25,480 Speaker 1: The receiver. 121 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:29,320 Speaker 4: Oh gosh, that was so scary. Trailing Brooks. 122 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,719 Speaker 1: Yes, Trailing Brooks, right. 123 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:35,160 Speaker 2: But so we're all sitting there really scared of man. 124 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 1: Listen, even though I've been in the NFL since nineteen 125 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:39,800 Speaker 1: ninety three, but every time you see an injury like that, 126 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:43,440 Speaker 1: for me so weird being around fighting. I love it, 127 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 1: Like no guy breaks is like a manswer, right, you 128 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,720 Speaker 1: have something, Hey, we cut our eyes up. It's part 129 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:49,839 Speaker 1: you bleed a lot, you get knocked out, man, just 130 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:52,800 Speaker 1: it's part of it football. It bucks me up. It 131 00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:54,760 Speaker 1: really freaks me out when I see guys get injuries. 132 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,400 Speaker 3: And that went that the situation with Treylon, when he 133 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:00,440 Speaker 3: went down, he was so close to the sideline. I 134 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,760 Speaker 3: was able to get really close. You know, think about it. 135 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 3: When Damar Hamlin went down, he was in the middle 136 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:08,920 Speaker 3: of the field, so you know, players were able to 137 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:12,680 Speaker 3: to protect him, and thank goodness, ESPN handled that as 138 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 3: well as they did. But in the situation at Treylon, 139 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,240 Speaker 3: I was able to get so close, and it is 140 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:20,160 Speaker 3: there is no feeling like that as a reporter. When 141 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:23,840 Speaker 3: you're that close to everything, you need to observe, you know, 142 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:25,800 Speaker 3: because I can tell you what I can see and 143 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 3: what I can hear. 144 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,400 Speaker 4: That's the best kind of reporting I can give you. 145 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:29,920 Speaker 4: But you know, I mean, you're you. 146 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:32,400 Speaker 3: Really have to lock in and take your own emotion 147 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,360 Speaker 3: out of it in moments like that, I. 148 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:36,159 Speaker 1: Think because of the toamor Hamlin think that's why it was. 149 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,039 Speaker 1: It had a similar almost like a feel of that 150 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:41,280 Speaker 1: and where we had no idea what's going on with 151 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:46,440 Speaker 1: deamorar Hamlin. You gave us so much insight into alleviate 152 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 1: our fields. Now we're still serious and serious neck injury. 153 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:50,599 Speaker 1: And that was the other thing, because it didn't seem 154 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,520 Speaker 1: like a neck injury. You're like, oh, that's I've never 155 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,920 Speaker 1: seen that before. Helped somebody go down and get injured 156 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 1: like that, which I thought it was knocked out. But 157 00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:59,760 Speaker 1: for you to be able to I was just a viewer, 158 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:03,719 Speaker 1: wasn't an inside and you were able to give me 159 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:08,839 Speaker 1: a very educated and informed basically I would say diagnosis 160 00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:11,240 Speaker 1: that's not the right word, but a picture of what's 161 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 1: really going on. So you were able to alleviate a 162 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 1: lot of our immediate concerns by immediate like journalistically, you 163 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 1: just dove in and you gave us everything you knew 164 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 1: and I just I texted you right on the spot. 165 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,560 Speaker 1: I'm like, that was so perfect of the job of 166 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:25,440 Speaker 1: a sideline reporter. 167 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 3: Thank you so much, say And I remember getting that 168 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 3: text from you, and it meant the world because my 169 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,040 Speaker 3: all of my senses are so heightened in that moment, 170 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 3: and a lot of times you do. You have a 171 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:37,120 Speaker 3: moment like that in a broadcast and then you walk 172 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 3: off the field and you're like, how did that go? 173 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 3: What did that got blacked out for a second, right, 174 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,920 Speaker 3: you know, and then you get that reassuring text. For me, 175 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 3: I was like, that made me feel like I did 176 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:47,120 Speaker 3: my job well. 177 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 1: I think, well, you got a lot of people root 178 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,640 Speaker 1: for you in this business, me obviously one of them. 179 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 1: But when people hear this story also of your background, 180 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 1: you're gonna have a lot more people that root for here. 181 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 1: So I'm going to kind of give you the floor. 182 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 1: I want you to you know, it goes back to 183 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,600 Speaker 1: your dad, and you know, again you told me half 184 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: of the story, but not the other half. So I 185 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 1: want you to just kind of start off with what 186 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 1: happened with you or your dad? 187 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, So I get asked all of the time in 188 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:14,200 Speaker 3: this industry with my sports reporting, especially were you an athlete, 189 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,080 Speaker 3: is that why you wanted to do this. 190 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,200 Speaker 4: Or in news? 191 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:21,280 Speaker 3: You know, I don't think it's out of the ordinary 192 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:24,440 Speaker 3: for somebody to want to host the Today Show if 193 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:26,720 Speaker 3: this is the sort of career path that you're interested in. 194 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 3: But you know, for me, my why professionally, and so 195 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:34,080 Speaker 3: much of my why in life as a person was 196 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:36,679 Speaker 3: born from the worst day of my life. So when 197 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:38,880 Speaker 3: I was ten years old, I went to go watch 198 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 3: my dad perform in an air show. He was an 199 00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:45,480 Speaker 3: incredibly talented aerobatic pilot. He would fly in air shows 200 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,640 Speaker 3: all over the world, and this just happened to be 201 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 3: an air show that was an hour from where I 202 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:51,440 Speaker 3: grew up in Battanars, Louisiana. 203 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,720 Speaker 4: He was flying in Lafayette. 204 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 2: And so is like lo angels are like the little 205 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:57,760 Speaker 2: small planes or so. 206 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:02,520 Speaker 3: He would fly World War two trainer aircraft, so like 207 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,840 Speaker 3: what fighter pilots would train with world War two, So 208 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:08,400 Speaker 3: really heavy machinery, and he would do tricks that you weren't. 209 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,560 Speaker 4: Supposed to do with that type of plane. 210 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:14,120 Speaker 3: So, and I forget the physics of it, but if 211 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:17,600 Speaker 3: you're supposed to do a barrel roll clockwise, he would 212 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,480 Speaker 3: do it counterclockwise. The average fan might not notice, but 213 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:22,840 Speaker 3: every pilot who was watching him would be like, camp 214 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 3: that guy, that's sick. 215 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,199 Speaker 4: So the World War Two planes were sort of his specialty. 216 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:31,000 Speaker 3: But he also had a Polish is gradjet, he had 217 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:35,360 Speaker 3: a Mustang, he flew a restored a B twenty five, 218 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 3: one of the big bombers. And yeah, so just an incredible, 219 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:41,480 Speaker 3: incredible history for him. 220 00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:42,760 Speaker 1: Did you ever go on these with him? 221 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,240 Speaker 4: I did all of them, all of every single one 222 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,240 Speaker 4: of them. Oh, I was the kid. I'm gonna have 223 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:48,280 Speaker 4: to send these the pictures to day. 224 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,120 Speaker 3: I was the kid getting in the plane with my 225 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 3: dad and saying go faster. You know. 226 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:52,720 Speaker 4: He'd be like, are you okay? 227 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:53,080 Speaker 1: Everything? 228 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:54,840 Speaker 4: I'd be like, go faster, daddy, you know, I mean, 229 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:55,840 Speaker 4: I just I loved it. 230 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:59,840 Speaker 3: Adrenaline, the adrenaline rush. I came to understand. And it's 231 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:01,840 Speaker 3: it just it's this sort of thing just feels like 232 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,280 Speaker 3: it's in my blood, as is his job. He was 233 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,800 Speaker 3: a performer. And it's so funny because I didn't think 234 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,280 Speaker 3: of him like that. I didn't think of him as 235 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,960 Speaker 3: an athlete or as a performer, but I now realized 236 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 3: he was both for sure. 237 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:15,439 Speaker 4: But he also owned a flight. 238 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,679 Speaker 3: School in Baton Rouge, which is really cool because his 239 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 3: legacy lives on through so many pilots in that area. 240 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 3: And my little brother's a pilot in Baton Rouge now too, 241 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:26,120 Speaker 3: so he gets to hear stories about my dad all 242 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,640 Speaker 3: the time and I always tell him he us to 243 00:10:27,679 --> 00:10:30,880 Speaker 3: share them with me. And he owned and ran the 244 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:35,160 Speaker 3: one of the FBOs in Baton Rouge, so the businesses 245 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:36,319 Speaker 3: were multifaceted. 246 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:40,880 Speaker 4: But yeah, so we went to this air show of his. 247 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 3: And gonna have been more excited, and final maneuver of 248 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:46,920 Speaker 3: the show he crashed right in front of me and 249 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:52,560 Speaker 3: thirteen thousand other people. And there's a lot to unpack 250 00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:57,600 Speaker 3: about the emotions of watching a plane crash happen when 251 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:01,120 Speaker 3: it's you know, the man you loved the most and 252 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,360 Speaker 3: he's the only one in the plane. 253 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 4: But in that moment, thinking back on it at ten 254 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 4: years old, I didn't think he was dead because to me, 255 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:08,400 Speaker 4: he was invincible. 256 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:10,720 Speaker 3: When I saw the I mean just I saw the 257 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,160 Speaker 3: plane hit the ground and I didn't I remember all 258 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:14,360 Speaker 3: the feelings I remember that day. 259 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,040 Speaker 4: I remember my first reaction. 260 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 3: Was we got to go to the hospital. 261 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:18,240 Speaker 4: How fast are they going to be. 262 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,400 Speaker 3: Able to get him, to get him to a hospital, 263 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,720 Speaker 3: where is he gonna have to learn how to walk again? Yeah, 264 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:26,360 Speaker 3: I didn't think. I didn't think it was possible that 265 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,080 Speaker 3: he could be dead. But you know, thinking back to 266 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:32,520 Speaker 3: the look on my mother's face, she knew instantly. 267 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:37,400 Speaker 4: And fast forward a couple of hours, we go back 268 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,280 Speaker 4: home to Baton Rouge. We were able to just you know, 269 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:40,880 Speaker 4: drive back home, and. 270 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:42,920 Speaker 3: The house was full of people that night, in the 271 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:44,800 Speaker 3: way that it is at a time of morning like that, 272 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:46,760 Speaker 3: you know, people wanting to be there for us. 273 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:49,680 Speaker 4: And the TV was on just for noise. 274 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,280 Speaker 3: I don't know that anybody was paying any attention to it, 275 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:55,480 Speaker 3: but the room stopped when what I now know to 276 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:59,840 Speaker 3: be a thirty second anchor vo voiceover comes on just 277 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:02,360 Speaker 3: headline of the day that said something to the effect 278 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 3: of today in Lafiyel, Louisiana, in front of thirteen thousand people, 279 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:09,240 Speaker 3: a plane crashed like this report was. 280 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,600 Speaker 4: Not about the man who died. 281 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:16,720 Speaker 3: My father's death was treated as an event, and watching 282 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:20,760 Speaker 3: us at ten years old, I didn't understand why that's 283 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:24,480 Speaker 3: the way the story was told. Or why his life 284 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,640 Speaker 3: wasn't honored all of the incredible things he accomplished. I mean, 285 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,600 Speaker 3: and this is a guy who lived the American dream. 286 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:32,079 Speaker 3: He was born in Indonesia, raised in the Netherlands, came 287 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:35,720 Speaker 3: to the States with nothing, and truly lived the American dream. 288 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:38,160 Speaker 4: And none of that, none of that was mentioned. And 289 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,680 Speaker 4: so in that moment, my thought was. 290 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,800 Speaker 3: I don't want anybody to feel this way when their life, 291 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 3: the most personal moments of their life are talked about 292 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:49,120 Speaker 3: on TV. I don't want anybody to feel the way 293 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,960 Speaker 3: I feel right now. So I want to tell other 294 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:57,360 Speaker 3: people's stories. And the Today Show was what we watched 295 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:58,000 Speaker 3: every morning. 296 00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:58,839 Speaker 4: That's how I was. 297 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 3: Used to consuming news in any way, shape or form 298 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,679 Speaker 3: at ten years old. And so the dream became very 299 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:07,560 Speaker 3: quickly at ten years old to want to host the 300 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:08,600 Speaker 3: Today Show one day. 301 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:11,240 Speaker 1: And you recently achieved that dream. 302 00:13:11,679 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 4: I filled in. 303 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:15,000 Speaker 3: Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves, but I 304 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:18,400 Speaker 3: filled in hosting the third hour of the Today Show 305 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,920 Speaker 3: last month. And I mean, it was literally a dream 306 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,319 Speaker 3: come true. You know. I hope a lot of people 307 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,200 Speaker 3: get to say that a dream that they had as 308 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:29,880 Speaker 3: a child comes true. It's wild when it happened. It's 309 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:35,080 Speaker 3: absolutely wild when it happens, and I felt so lucky 310 00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:38,840 Speaker 3: for the opportunity, and I had to kind of step 311 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:41,000 Speaker 3: back and like soak it in and think about it 312 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 3: and appreciate the journey, you know. I mean, I'd do anything, 313 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:50,640 Speaker 3: I'd give up anything to have another day with my dad. 314 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:54,440 Speaker 3: But he's been with me every step of the way. 315 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,280 Speaker 1: We just read these bodies, but the soul live on forever, 316 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,680 Speaker 1: you know. So he was there with you. Goodos talked 317 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:04,000 Speaker 1: to him. He must have been beaming. When you're, you know, 318 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:08,360 Speaker 1: hosting there for Today's show, you must have sheltered. I did. 319 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:11,000 Speaker 4: I absolutely felt at it. And you know, the funny thing 320 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 4: of it all was. 321 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:15,280 Speaker 3: That when I called my mom when they asked me 322 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:17,760 Speaker 3: to fill in, of course, first call on good Make 323 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,080 Speaker 3: and she immediately said, Oh, I can't wait to come 324 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,520 Speaker 3: to New York. It's going to be so fun. We're 325 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:22,920 Speaker 3: gonna send a great time. And I was like, Mom, 326 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:25,520 Speaker 3: you're not invited. This does not take your mom to 327 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,960 Speaker 3: work day. I am a serious professional. 328 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,000 Speaker 4: I am Oh, I'm. 329 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,200 Speaker 3: Seeing the Today Show for the first time, Like, no 330 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 3: another time, Mom, Let me get through this. You know. 331 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,920 Speaker 3: I was nervous and all the things right, let me 332 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:38,640 Speaker 3: get through this, let me focus on this, and then well, 333 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:40,600 Speaker 3: you know another time. Let me tell you. 334 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:42,720 Speaker 4: Three days before I was scheduled to go to New 335 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:46,000 Speaker 4: York for this, I texted. 336 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,600 Speaker 3: My stepdad and I said, what's mom doing this week? 337 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:48,200 Speaker 4: Is she busy? 338 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:51,160 Speaker 3: Because I'm kind of thinking i'd really really like to 339 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:53,320 Speaker 3: have her in New York with me? And he said, 340 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,320 Speaker 3: call her right now. She'll be over the moon and 341 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:58,520 Speaker 3: she'll be on the next plane out. And so I called, 342 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 3: and yeah, you better believe she was there like that, 343 00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:07,160 Speaker 3: And I can't imagine if I'd done it without her there. 344 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,800 Speaker 4: It was I mean, you know, this is she knew 345 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:11,240 Speaker 4: the dream. 346 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:15,200 Speaker 3: I mean she knew I vocalized it at ten years old. 347 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:18,160 Speaker 3: And when I was the summer before my senior year 348 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,640 Speaker 3: of high school, I mean, she took me to New 349 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,240 Speaker 3: York and we went to the Today's Show Plaza and 350 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,720 Speaker 3: we just crossed our fingers we would get to meet 351 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,160 Speaker 3: Katie Couric and we took a photo with Katie and 352 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,480 Speaker 3: it was just, I mean, you know, my mom did 353 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:33,480 Speaker 3: these little things and big things really along the way 354 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:37,040 Speaker 3: to I thanked her. I was so emotional with her afterwards, 355 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:38,840 Speaker 3: because I was like, I'd never really thought about it 356 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 3: this way, but I was like, thank you. 357 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:46,160 Speaker 4: For always helping me believe that my dreams could come true, not. 358 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:51,400 Speaker 3: For having that sort of unrealistic parental confidence in your child, 359 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,880 Speaker 3: you know what I mean. But she just afforded me 360 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:57,080 Speaker 3: opportunities and that didn't make me feel like it was 361 00:15:57,120 --> 00:16:00,200 Speaker 3: out of reach, and I didn't realize that she was 362 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:01,880 Speaker 3: doing it. And then to have her there and she 363 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,880 Speaker 3: came on the set and the camera panned over to her, 364 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:06,640 Speaker 3: and all of a sudden, I see the stage manager 365 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 3: hand my mother on microphone and Al Roker starts asking 366 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:13,160 Speaker 3: my mom questions, and I was like, guys, I'm gonna 367 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,960 Speaker 3: lose it. I'm gonna we don't need tears at the 368 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,119 Speaker 3: start of this broadcast. 369 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,320 Speaker 4: Can we keep it moving? But then my mom was 370 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:20,640 Speaker 4: the star of the show and it was the coolest 371 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:24,520 Speaker 4: thing ever. And I just love that we got to 372 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:29,720 Speaker 4: share in that moment together because she's, yeah, you. 373 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:31,600 Speaker 2: Say that today show that you watched, but this is 374 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:32,760 Speaker 2: what you watch with your dad. 375 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,160 Speaker 4: It was just always on. 376 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,600 Speaker 3: It was just on every morning as we were getting 377 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:39,000 Speaker 3: ready for school, and like my dad left cooking breakfast 378 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:40,880 Speaker 3: and I can remember him, you know, flip and pancakes 379 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,840 Speaker 3: and the Today Shows on. I mean, it was just 380 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:46,000 Speaker 3: a part of I think that's what's special about morning 381 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 3: shows in general, right, And it's why I feel such 382 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:50,680 Speaker 3: a privilege when I'm on it, because it's such an 383 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:54,360 Speaker 3: intimate time of the day for families. If you have 384 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 3: this cast in your living room, you know, or your 385 00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 3: kitchen or wherever it is. And so yeah, so that 386 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,960 Speaker 3: Today's Show is a part of my childhood, and it 387 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,879 Speaker 3: really touches me when I meet people who watch the 388 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:09,920 Speaker 3: show and who know me from it, and. 389 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:11,800 Speaker 4: I just get to think about the part of their life. 390 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:12,280 Speaker 3: I get to be. 391 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,040 Speaker 1: You know, there's a lot to unpack from the crash yourself, 392 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:16,720 Speaker 1: and I want to hit that, but before I do, 393 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,480 Speaker 1: got to ask you this basic question. How did you 394 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,399 Speaker 1: keep it together on the Tuday? 395 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,720 Speaker 3: I don't know adrenaline. 396 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 4: Adrenaline is a very real thing. And here's the thing, 397 00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:29,960 Speaker 4: here's the thing. 398 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:33,120 Speaker 3: I have been what I tell you before our very 399 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:36,840 Speaker 3: first Thursday Night game kicked off on Prime Video in 400 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:40,479 Speaker 3: Kansas City in twenty twenty three. I don't know if 401 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,680 Speaker 3: I've ever been so nervous before to go on TV. 402 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:47,280 Speaker 3: I mean, I was so like I did my first 403 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:50,680 Speaker 3: report right before kickoff, and I mean send it back 404 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:52,680 Speaker 3: to Al, which like I'm sending it back to Al 405 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:56,120 Speaker 3: Michael's life. This is the coolest thing ever. Then, Yes, 406 00:17:56,359 --> 00:18:00,159 Speaker 3: and I am shaking, Like I handed my microphone to 407 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,879 Speaker 3: our utility guy, Shane, who's always on the field with 408 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:04,640 Speaker 3: me to make sure, you know, if anything goes wrong, 409 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:07,080 Speaker 3: he's problem solve. But I handed the mic coming back 410 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:09,040 Speaker 3: to Shane, and I just I couldn't stop shaking. I mean, 411 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:10,040 Speaker 3: I was so nervous. 412 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:14,480 Speaker 4: And the crazy thing about the Today Show from. 413 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,159 Speaker 3: The very first day I walked on that set as 414 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,360 Speaker 3: a correspondent and got to be up there with Savannah 415 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:22,520 Speaker 3: n Hode, to this opportunity to co host a whole 416 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:26,320 Speaker 3: hour of it, I have never felt more at ease. 417 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:31,120 Speaker 3: I've never felt more comfortable or at peace. I've never 418 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:35,240 Speaker 3: felt fewer nerves in a way that I think nerves 419 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:35,560 Speaker 3: are a. 420 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,040 Speaker 4: Good thing in a lot of cases. In Kansas City, 421 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,640 Speaker 4: I think though the nerves were a good thing because. 422 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,639 Speaker 3: It was just so much excitement and you've got all 423 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,959 Speaker 3: the screaming, crazy people at Arrowhead and it's awesome and 424 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,320 Speaker 3: I feed off of that, right, yes, Like I love 425 00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:51,280 Speaker 3: being in the middle of chaos. That's for me is fun. 426 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:53,080 Speaker 3: You feed off that energy in a very cool way. 427 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,879 Speaker 3: But when you're in a studio, it's such a different 428 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:58,280 Speaker 3: feed you know, the difference. You know you've jumped both. 429 00:18:58,359 --> 00:18:59,480 Speaker 4: It's such a different. 430 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:01,600 Speaker 3: Feeling and you're kind of like looking for your views 431 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,200 Speaker 3: of where where you know, where, where's my energy level? 432 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:05,439 Speaker 3: Where do I need to be and how do I 433 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,120 Speaker 3: match the other people in the room and all that. 434 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,960 Speaker 4: But with the Today Show, I think because I just 435 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:12,760 Speaker 4: when they offered me the. 436 00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:16,760 Speaker 3: Opportunity to fill in, I said to myself, Yeah, I'm 437 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:20,879 Speaker 3: a big preparation breeds confidence kind of person, and for 438 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,480 Speaker 3: this I was like, I've been preparing my whole life. 439 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:25,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, And so the confidence was there. 440 00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:30,800 Speaker 3: The confidence was there in a way that I get 441 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:35,880 Speaker 3: couldn't have couldn't have manufactured and just red you. Oh yeah, 442 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:40,679 Speaker 3: absolutely absolutely, yeah. Right, yeah. 443 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,800 Speaker 1: Let's go back to again. As a ten year old girl, 444 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,720 Speaker 1: you see your dad go down in the plane crash 445 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,320 Speaker 1: and you said before that it was on the news. 446 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:49,879 Speaker 1: How did you realize. 447 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,800 Speaker 2: That because you said he's just going to be the hospital. 448 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,840 Speaker 1: How did you realize that he died. 449 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:55,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it's a really it's a really good but 450 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:59,280 Speaker 3: it's a really good question. So at airshows like that, 451 00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:02,600 Speaker 3: just like lots of sporting events, you know, we were 452 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:06,760 Speaker 3: there was a tent that was all the pilot's families, right. 453 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:11,280 Speaker 4: So all of a sudden, this big white van pulls up. 454 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,119 Speaker 3: It was like out of a movie. I mean, the 455 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,920 Speaker 3: plane crashes. I mean, my mom grabs. 456 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,480 Speaker 4: Me to hug me. A white van pulls up and 457 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:18,960 Speaker 4: we get. 458 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,040 Speaker 3: Thrown in and like, I don't know where we're I 459 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:23,679 Speaker 3: think we're going to the hospital, and we get taken too, 460 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:27,080 Speaker 3: and then ambulances are rushing, fire trucks are rushing to 461 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:30,280 Speaker 3: the plane, and then we get taken to another hangar 462 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:35,080 Speaker 3: at the airport, and I'm like, what are we doing here? 463 00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:38,760 Speaker 4: We're wasting time? Like why I didn't there? It felt 464 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:39,520 Speaker 4: there was urgency, and. 465 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:40,919 Speaker 3: Then all of a sudden there wasn't. We were just 466 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,360 Speaker 3: sitting there and I'm like, what are we doing in here? 467 00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:47,840 Speaker 3: We gotta go. And then one of my dad's best 468 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:52,439 Speaker 3: friends in them in the industry walked in and he 469 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:56,360 Speaker 3: took my mom into a different room, and I heard 470 00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:57,800 Speaker 3: her scream and. 471 00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:58,920 Speaker 4: That's how I knew. 472 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:03,440 Speaker 5: And I if somebody themselves told me that he was dead, 473 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:07,160 Speaker 5: I don't remember, because that that was how I found out, 474 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:11,240 Speaker 5: and I have I don't we've been we didn't stay 475 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:14,200 Speaker 5: there much longer, or maybe we did, I have no idea. 476 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,200 Speaker 3: And then we got in a car and somebody drove 477 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:20,400 Speaker 3: us back to Baton Rouge, and that it. I think 478 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,359 Speaker 3: in any moment of trauma, any significant moment in life, 479 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,120 Speaker 3: right there are there are some details that you remembers 480 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:29,560 Speaker 3: like they were yesterday so specifically, and then there are 481 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:32,119 Speaker 3: blocks of time where you're like, what happened? I have 482 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:35,560 Speaker 3: no recollection. Yeah, so that's how I found out. 483 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,440 Speaker 1: How did you unpack it? First? As a little kid? 484 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,199 Speaker 1: Moving forward after that? 485 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,359 Speaker 3: So, I'm a younger brother, four years older than him, 486 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:50,200 Speaker 3: and I I was so worried about everyone else. 487 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,320 Speaker 4: I was so worried about my mom. I mean, my 488 00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:55,840 Speaker 4: mom was thirty five and widowed with two kids, and 489 00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:01,679 Speaker 4: I was so I was all always my father's child, 490 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,760 Speaker 4: you know, I was always the oldest in all of 491 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:09,080 Speaker 4: the stereotypical characteristics. You know, I wanted to get straight 492 00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:12,439 Speaker 4: as to make him proud. I wanted to do everything 493 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,520 Speaker 4: right to make him proud, and not because he put. 494 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,840 Speaker 3: That pressure on me, but because I just to more 495 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,800 Speaker 3: of the DNA, more of his DNA in me. But 496 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:25,240 Speaker 3: looking back on it that time and how I managed it, 497 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:29,040 Speaker 3: I didn't give my mom enough credit. I now believe 498 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,240 Speaker 3: she is the strongest woman I know, But at the 499 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,359 Speaker 3: time she is she is. 500 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:35,760 Speaker 4: You've never met my mom. 501 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:39,119 Speaker 3: Oh, you've gotta meet my mom day, you are gonna 502 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:43,920 Speaker 3: loves She's in LA, we're all hanging out. For sure. 503 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,760 Speaker 4: Everybody loves my mom. But I really do. I think 504 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:50,680 Speaker 4: she's the strongest woman I know. But at the time 505 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:51,200 Speaker 4: I didn't. 506 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,399 Speaker 3: I couldn't see that. I was just so worried about 507 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,399 Speaker 3: her and worried that she was going to break. And 508 00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:00,800 Speaker 3: the thing is, she never did, but I couldn't see 509 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:05,000 Speaker 3: that at the time. For me, I grew up fast, 510 00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:07,879 Speaker 3: Yeah exactly. I think I felt like I grew up fast, 511 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:11,600 Speaker 3: but I but I already was a kid who prided 512 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:12,880 Speaker 3: myself on being mature. 513 00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:14,639 Speaker 4: So it was just more of that. 514 00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:17,399 Speaker 3: It was just more of I tried to make my 515 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,959 Speaker 3: mom's life easier, you know. I wanted to do everything 516 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:24,199 Speaker 3: right so that she didn't have to discipline me. You know, 517 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:26,240 Speaker 3: so that I wouldn't put any more stress on her, 518 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:32,240 Speaker 3: and I just, oh, for sure, not just a ten 519 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,199 Speaker 3: year old, but you know also as a fourteen year 520 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:35,760 Speaker 3: old and a sixteen year old, and you know, it 521 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,240 Speaker 3: was my entire No. There was one time I got 522 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:41,920 Speaker 3: gott in some trouble in eighth grade for drinking wine 523 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:48,639 Speaker 3: coolers and I never felt so awful in my life 524 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,440 Speaker 3: because my mom had to discipline me and I felt 525 00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:55,040 Speaker 3: like I let her down in a way that was 526 00:23:55,080 --> 00:24:00,480 Speaker 3: more punishment than you know, being grounded for months. Yeah, 527 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,600 Speaker 3: but so but but the but the other side of 528 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 3: that is that you know, things I unpack up my therapist. 529 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:06,320 Speaker 3: You know, I put up armor. 530 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:08,080 Speaker 4: You know, I suited it up. 531 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:12,359 Speaker 3: Oh, I suited up, and I learned to compartmentalize. I 532 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:14,280 Speaker 3: learned to compartmentalize in a way that I will say 533 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:15,240 Speaker 3: in my job. 534 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,160 Speaker 4: In news can be helpful. 535 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,480 Speaker 2: It's great and chaos, yes at. 536 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,760 Speaker 3: It, But at a mass shooting or a natural disaster, 537 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,679 Speaker 3: when I am meeting people on the worst day of 538 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,240 Speaker 3: their life and they are trusting me with their story, 539 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,840 Speaker 3: I have to put my own emotions aside. Just like 540 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:32,439 Speaker 3: we were talking about with the trail and Burk situation. 541 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,640 Speaker 3: You know, I'm over there looking at him, scared to death, 542 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,000 Speaker 3: and you got to you got to put that away. 543 00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:40,520 Speaker 3: You've got to do the job. You've got to focus 544 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:43,280 Speaker 3: on the facts and the information and in those moments 545 00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:46,360 Speaker 3: with those families. You know, I would like to think 546 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,919 Speaker 3: my empathy is one of my greatest qualities as a reporter. 547 00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:52,000 Speaker 3: So the compartmentalization I think has done me some good 548 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:55,000 Speaker 3: and has absolutely been to my detriment, you know, more 549 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,000 Speaker 3: so in my in my personal life. 550 00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,360 Speaker 2: All I was going to ask you that is, how 551 00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:01,280 Speaker 2: have you found relationships? 552 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:04,200 Speaker 1: As far as you know, You're the most loved person 553 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,240 Speaker 1: and ten years old and he's gone in a very 554 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:08,520 Speaker 1: visible and tragic way. 555 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:12,280 Speaker 2: Have you run into I guess, fear that everybody would 556 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:12,600 Speaker 2: leave you. 557 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,199 Speaker 3: I don't have fear that everybody would leave me so 558 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:19,040 Speaker 3: much as I oh, gosh, this is hard to stay 559 00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:19,440 Speaker 3: out loud. 560 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,879 Speaker 4: I never imagined i'd be thirty eight, single and not 561 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:22,640 Speaker 4: have kids. 562 00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:26,760 Speaker 3: Never imagine that. But I think I think I'm looking 563 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:31,600 Speaker 3: for someone who is a lot like my bud, and 564 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:33,520 Speaker 3: that's a really hard act to follow. 565 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:37,080 Speaker 1: How have you well, you're saying you're working with therapist, 566 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:38,359 Speaker 1: how are you? And I don't want to get all 567 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,560 Speaker 1: therapy on you here, but have you've been able to 568 00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,480 Speaker 1: see like, hey, I got some movement here? I got 569 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,680 Speaker 1: because look, I'm by the way I ask questions and 570 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,400 Speaker 1: something like, I'm not really equipped to ask these questions 571 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,240 Speaker 1: because I haven't been through this. People been through it. 572 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:51,720 Speaker 1: Who should ask questions? But I am just I'm also 573 00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,679 Speaker 1: I'm generally you know, obviously you know much I care 574 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,439 Speaker 1: about you, so but also you as a friend, you 575 00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,359 Speaker 1: as a human, you as a person, you and you 576 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,400 Speaker 1: and your future. Me for someone who got loved later 577 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,080 Speaker 1: in life. Now part of me puts the hat of, oh, 578 00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,280 Speaker 1: how could I kind of coach Killy's so she could 579 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:07,399 Speaker 1: find love? All? So? 580 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:09,879 Speaker 4: Oh I need all the I need all the tips. 581 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:12,080 Speaker 3: But yeah, you know, the wild thing is is that 582 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,920 Speaker 3: I didn't I didn't see a therapist until last year. 583 00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:21,680 Speaker 1: What really? What was the change? What? What because you 584 00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,920 Speaker 1: need one because you're handle on your own? Or did you? Oh? 585 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:25,159 Speaker 4: Yeah, because I just thought I was. 586 00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:25,720 Speaker 3: I was. 587 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, I thought, I mean, I knew it would be helpful. 588 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,840 Speaker 3: I wasn't in denial about that, but I kind of 589 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,879 Speaker 3: thought for a long time that I was holding it 590 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:37,800 Speaker 3: together to sign and and then what my therapist explained 591 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,960 Speaker 3: to me is that, you know, I spent all those 592 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:43,359 Speaker 3: years trying to strengthen that armor that I put on, 593 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,040 Speaker 3: and then at some point. 594 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,480 Speaker 4: That armor starts to crumble. And that was I think 595 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,880 Speaker 4: the point that I hit that led me to seeking 596 00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:53,200 Speaker 4: help was. 597 00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:58,119 Speaker 3: Realizing being very confused, why I felt more emotional than 598 00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,240 Speaker 3: I was used to feeling about a lot of things. 599 00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:02,520 Speaker 3: You know, why my reactions to things that would happen 600 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,960 Speaker 3: in my personal life really get into me in a 601 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:08,560 Speaker 3: deep way. Gosh, I'm usually stronger than this because for me, 602 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:10,879 Speaker 3: it was always about strength. For me, it was always 603 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:13,040 Speaker 3: about I've got to be strong for my mom and 604 00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:16,400 Speaker 3: my brother, and that's how I get through it all. 605 00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:20,040 Speaker 3: And then when i'm my gosh, I am what's wrong 606 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:23,120 Speaker 3: with me? And then the therapist is like, no, no, no, no, this. 607 00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:24,320 Speaker 1: Is nothing's wrong with you. 608 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:28,520 Speaker 3: This is actually this is actually progress. 609 00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:29,440 Speaker 1: Yeah. 610 00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, but you know, I love to post that I 611 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:37,359 Speaker 3: saw you share about you and Rosie being preemptive about 612 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:42,800 Speaker 3: going to therapy together before getting married before problems arise 613 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:45,520 Speaker 3: that are then too, you know, get even more difficult 614 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,040 Speaker 3: to deal with. But you know, I think that I 615 00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:51,320 Speaker 3: have been someone in relationships and I've learned the hard 616 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,520 Speaker 3: way how important communication is. And I think now at 617 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:56,199 Speaker 3: this stage of my life, I'm going to have to 618 00:27:56,240 --> 00:28:02,040 Speaker 3: demand strong communication in a relationship. So share with me, please, 619 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,800 Speaker 3: what you guys learned and what was most helpful in that. 620 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:06,679 Speaker 1: No, but but here's the thing I want to go 621 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:10,320 Speaker 1: back also, So what the worst thing that happened in 622 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,000 Speaker 1: your life? I would like for you to shift it 623 00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:18,240 Speaker 1: from this happened to me too, that formed all these superpowers? 624 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:18,960 Speaker 4: Oh, it did. 625 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,679 Speaker 3: It's undeniable and it's a really hard thing to come 626 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:27,240 Speaker 3: to terms with though. Right. There was a fantastic conversation 627 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,920 Speaker 3: between Anderson Cooper and Stephen Colbert a couple of years ago, 628 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,120 Speaker 3: and it ended up leading to Anderson doing an entirely 629 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,240 Speaker 3: podcast on grief. But you know, both of them lost 630 00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:39,520 Speaker 3: their dads at ten years old, and they were. 631 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:40,680 Speaker 4: The first people I heard. 632 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:44,560 Speaker 3: This was also what helped lead me to recognize I 633 00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:47,000 Speaker 3: needed to go to therapy and was listening to their conversation. 634 00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:50,880 Speaker 3: But you know this, this idea that the worst day 635 00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:55,120 Speaker 3: can lead to some of these, like you say, superpowers, yes, 636 00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,760 Speaker 3: and you it's just a really hard thing to because 637 00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:01,280 Speaker 3: who would I be I've shouldn't a thousand months. Who 638 00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:03,640 Speaker 3: would I be if my dad were still on this planet, 639 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:05,840 Speaker 3: if I'd had all these years with him? And I 640 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:07,200 Speaker 3: would like to think I would be. 641 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:09,960 Speaker 4: A better person, just a better person. 642 00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:12,640 Speaker 2: Why would you like to think that you're a better person? 643 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:14,960 Speaker 1: You're a phenomenal person. This is like. 644 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:17,840 Speaker 4: Loved him. 645 00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:20,640 Speaker 1: I love him by hearing him. I love him by 646 00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:22,800 Speaker 1: hearing about him, But I love him more for the 647 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,920 Speaker 1: person that you've become. So that's the ultimate gift. Like 648 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,520 Speaker 1: he left you with this. 649 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,400 Speaker 2: To become the person you are now. 650 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:32,960 Speaker 1: And think all these things, these tools you have because 651 00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,000 Speaker 1: of that, I don't think you would have been the successful. 652 00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:37,560 Speaker 2: Like it's our our adversity is the biggest kid. 653 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:38,840 Speaker 3: What would my why? 654 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:42,360 Speaker 4: What would my why have been? I have no idea. 655 00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:46,760 Speaker 3: And here's the thing about when you face adversity and 656 00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:50,560 Speaker 3: survived and overcome it and it's made you stronger. You know, 657 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:53,959 Speaker 3: I recognize years ago in relationships that I need to 658 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:57,480 Speaker 3: be with someone who has experienced some adversity in life, 659 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,200 Speaker 3: right and who has become stronger the result of it. Now, 660 00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:04,280 Speaker 3: I you know, I think it's a very generalized statement, 661 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:06,800 Speaker 3: but I think we all need Yeah. 662 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:08,040 Speaker 1: By the way, I don't know if that's I don't 663 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:09,400 Speaker 1: know if that's the case, because I think you just 664 00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:12,240 Speaker 1: need to be with someone who understands uidversity and who's 665 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,680 Speaker 1: empathetic to it and could help them raise you up. 666 00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:16,920 Speaker 1: But it doesn't mean that we have to have gone. 667 00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:17,680 Speaker 4: But I need to know. 668 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:19,760 Speaker 3: Here's the thing to your point of am I afraid 669 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:23,960 Speaker 3: that somebody would leave me after experiencing that loss? It's 670 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,160 Speaker 3: more like I'm afraid that somebody wouldn't be able to 671 00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:27,720 Speaker 3: handle tough stuff. 672 00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:30,160 Speaker 1: You're right, that's the type of person you're looking for. 673 00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:32,640 Speaker 1: But here's what I've learned now by talking so openly 674 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:36,000 Speaker 1: about my mental health, it lifts other people up when 675 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:37,840 Speaker 1: they get to help you with this stuff. So, like, 676 00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:40,880 Speaker 1: I'll give you my story that I really realized is 677 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:42,880 Speaker 1: you know, I've been best friends to stray and since 678 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:47,280 Speaker 1: ninety three and it wasn't until two years ago where 679 00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:48,920 Speaker 1: we're supposed to go out. And I call it when 680 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:52,240 Speaker 1: I have my bad, bad, bad breakdowns, I called the 681 00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,280 Speaker 1: beast getting out of the box. And I am not 682 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:58,560 Speaker 1: fucking good to be around, and it's really painful, and 683 00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:01,520 Speaker 1: I get scared for me and other people. And in 684 00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:04,360 Speaker 1: the past I went out no matter what. I would 685 00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,400 Speaker 1: take viking in and drink and just do anything to 686 00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:08,920 Speaker 1: just put on become. 687 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:10,800 Speaker 2: The glaze in front of people and hide the pen. 688 00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:13,680 Speaker 1: And that wasn't great because then I'd go out and 689 00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:17,280 Speaker 1: get more trouble and be If I get an alcohol 690 00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:19,280 Speaker 1: in a situation where the beast is out of the box, 691 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:21,600 Speaker 1: it's not good for other people at all. And it's 692 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:25,200 Speaker 1: amazing that everyone stood by me through these times, but 693 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:28,280 Speaker 1: it's been He's scary, and it's the first time I 694 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,360 Speaker 1: said to Michael and man, I can't go out tonight. 695 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:33,840 Speaker 1: Beast got out of the box and he said, oh, man, 696 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,120 Speaker 1: it wasn't It wasn't like, oh, come on, Jay, just 697 00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:38,960 Speaker 1: suck it up. He was like, oh, do you want 698 00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:40,600 Speaker 1: to talk about it? And I said no. 699 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:41,880 Speaker 2: When I said beast got out of the box, man, 700 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:43,680 Speaker 2: I just I got one of these tacks. 701 00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:46,520 Speaker 1: Men. This anxiety and depression hit. I'm feeling at my joints. 702 00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:48,200 Speaker 1: It's not a good night for me. And he said, 703 00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:49,720 Speaker 1: you want to talk about it? And I said no. 704 00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:54,080 Speaker 1: He said, don't want to come over. I said no. 705 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:56,320 Speaker 1: I said, we'll talk about this not tonight. I said, 706 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,600 Speaker 1: just want to kind of go to bed, just went 707 00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:00,440 Speaker 1: off and he said, well, have you never told me? 708 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,360 Speaker 1: And I said, I don't know. With you, I felt 709 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,400 Speaker 1: shamed and a lot of times like we don't want to 710 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:07,400 Speaker 1: be a burden on somebody else. And he said, no, 711 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:11,360 Speaker 1: you took away my ability to be your best friend 712 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:14,800 Speaker 1: in thirty years by not telling me. And that's how 713 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,160 Speaker 1: I realized, Man, I've got to like people want to 714 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,360 Speaker 1: be there for us. We're not a burden, and same 715 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:22,600 Speaker 1: for you. Like the people, no one's gonna say, oh, 716 00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:24,959 Speaker 1: how can I handle her? You're right. Guys are going 717 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:28,320 Speaker 1: to want to help you and walk this walk with you. 718 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,680 Speaker 1: And there's so many of them out there. And that's 719 00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:33,640 Speaker 1: what I've learned as I've come and opened up. Man, 720 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:35,880 Speaker 1: people just check on me now. They hit me up 721 00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:38,280 Speaker 1: when people are going through stuff they like I never 722 00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:40,360 Speaker 1: would have been able to call someone about this. Now 723 00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:42,920 Speaker 1: I'm calling you, man, and some of the biggest people 724 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:45,200 Speaker 1: You've got to imagine calling me saying, Man, I'm in 725 00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:48,000 Speaker 1: a bad place today. How to man, I'm so glad 726 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:50,120 Speaker 1: you and I have this relationship now. It's made my 727 00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,320 Speaker 1: relationships a lot deeper. So I think, because you've gone 728 00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:55,520 Speaker 1: through this, whoever is lucky enough to be with you, 729 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:58,560 Speaker 1: your relationship will be a lot deeper if you open 730 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:00,600 Speaker 1: up and just put all your car to the table. 731 00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:03,040 Speaker 1: We want to be able to walk this walk with 732 00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:05,760 Speaker 1: someone else. It's it's a beautiful thing. 733 00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,920 Speaker 3: You're about to see you and Rosiere already walking together, 734 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:10,520 Speaker 3: but you're about to make me walk. 735 00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:12,680 Speaker 1: That's what I want, as we want. But that's what 736 00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:15,640 Speaker 1: you asked me. What the thing like? So for for 737 00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:18,360 Speaker 1: all my issues again, I saw them into super powers, 738 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:20,600 Speaker 1: like my depression. I'm like, man, it took me eleven 739 00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:22,200 Speaker 1: years to get my first full time job. I was 740 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,800 Speaker 1: making ninety five hundred bucks a year. I got rejected 741 00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:28,600 Speaker 1: for eleven straight years full time jobs. My depression told 742 00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:31,200 Speaker 1: me I was worthless, so I felt, yeah, of course 743 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,840 Speaker 1: I'm rejected. I would have quit if I had more 744 00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:36,800 Speaker 1: self worth along the way, I would have been like, hey, 745 00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:38,880 Speaker 1: I can't deal with all this rejection. But because I 746 00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:42,040 Speaker 1: felt worthy of getting rejected, I kept at it, and 747 00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,360 Speaker 1: I just I was the last dude's standing eventually that 748 00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:47,360 Speaker 1: somebody had to give me a job eventually. So the 749 00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:49,600 Speaker 1: depression was the super power the anxiety you and I 750 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,400 Speaker 1: were talking about were great and chaos. 751 00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:54,160 Speaker 2: So when those things happened, shoot, everything slows. 752 00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:56,400 Speaker 1: Down for us. And being great in chaos when you're 753 00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:57,920 Speaker 1: on TV or when you're in a cage or in 754 00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:01,280 Speaker 1: a football fields, it's a super power for my ADHD 755 00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:03,719 Speaker 1: allows me to do six things where you know in 756 00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:06,480 Speaker 1: the past, oh you have learning disability, No, well, okay, 757 00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:08,440 Speaker 1: but I just don't learn the way you teach. But 758 00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:10,399 Speaker 1: thank god I have it because I could do six 759 00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,160 Speaker 1: things at once. The same with this with you. It's 760 00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:17,520 Speaker 1: your superpower. But even the story, the story, I think 761 00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:21,319 Speaker 1: send your equity, your soul equity to a different level 762 00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:23,839 Speaker 1: where anybody's going to recognize that if you allow them 763 00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:24,800 Speaker 1: to thank you. 764 00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:27,319 Speaker 3: Jane absolutely appreciate that well. And you know, and the 765 00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:30,520 Speaker 3: thing is is that in wanting to do justice to 766 00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:35,200 Speaker 3: the worst days in people's lives and honor right the 767 00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:39,560 Speaker 3: story and honor the people involved in whatever the event 768 00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:43,120 Speaker 3: may be. You know, I spent two years at CNN 769 00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:46,400 Speaker 3: only showing up on the worst days of people's lives 770 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:50,640 Speaker 3: mass shootings and natural disasters, death, despair, and destruction, and 771 00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:54,160 Speaker 3: that was a really important learning experience for me. But 772 00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:57,799 Speaker 3: when I tell you, it gave me more appreciation for 773 00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:01,120 Speaker 3: the privilege I have in sports to so often show 774 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,960 Speaker 3: up on the best days of people's lives and try 775 00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:07,239 Speaker 3: to do justice to the hard work and the sacrifice 776 00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:10,680 Speaker 3: and the dedication that it takes for these athletes to 777 00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:11,280 Speaker 3: be great. 778 00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:13,279 Speaker 4: People keep asking me. 779 00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:15,480 Speaker 3: Oh, news or sports, you know what, where do you 780 00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:17,839 Speaker 3: see something? Like? You guys are missing the point. I 781 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:20,240 Speaker 3: want to do it all. I want to work across 782 00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:23,440 Speaker 3: the spectrum because I want I feel lucky that I 783 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:24,719 Speaker 3: feel like I have. 784 00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:27,279 Speaker 4: Owned a skill set to be able to show up 785 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:30,719 Speaker 4: on the best and the worst days, and I want 786 00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:32,120 Speaker 4: to work across that spectrum. 787 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:33,600 Speaker 1: I want to go back to so you said. Also 788 00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:37,200 Speaker 1: with Rosie and I, you just started therapy. Rosie and 789 00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:39,879 Speaker 1: I were together in the past and we split up 790 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:44,759 Speaker 1: because it's kind of couldn't handle all my shit, my 791 00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:47,279 Speaker 1: breakdown and like listen, when the roommates in my head 792 00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:49,240 Speaker 1: get in a bad place, it could be an extended period, 793 00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:52,840 Speaker 1: and we broke up. I had to go do the work, 794 00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:54,920 Speaker 1: and I think you know, I went to like Thailand 795 00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:57,520 Speaker 1: for for thirty five days to go to this mind, body, 796 00:35:57,560 --> 00:35:59,480 Speaker 1: spiritual and I had to go do this work and 797 00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:02,239 Speaker 1: find out why am I like, what is it? And 798 00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:05,480 Speaker 1: when I had done the work and was able to 799 00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:08,480 Speaker 1: make peace with the little kid at little ten year 800 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,000 Speaker 1: old Jay, if you already have ten year old Tayley 801 00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:13,719 Speaker 1: obviously had a huge traumatic experience. I had to go 802 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:17,840 Speaker 1: comfort little Jay, get him to calm down so I 803 00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:20,120 Speaker 1: could be calmer in life, so I can receive all 804 00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:23,000 Speaker 1: the love Rosie was trying to give me. And the 805 00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:26,080 Speaker 1: point of this is, again, that was only two years ago. 806 00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:28,240 Speaker 1: So you started two years ago. Mine was two years ago. 807 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:31,520 Speaker 1: And you know, I'm fifty four and now like, yeah, 808 00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:33,400 Speaker 1: it's never too late to find love. I'm a lot 809 00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:36,600 Speaker 1: older than you, so you know, I got fifteen years 810 00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:39,600 Speaker 1: on you. Sixteen years on you, so you got plenty 811 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:42,279 Speaker 1: of time. But now, yeah, your life begins now that 812 00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:44,239 Speaker 1: you're starting to do this work. That's what led to 813 00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,759 Speaker 1: Rosie and I getting back together, and we talked about 814 00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:49,000 Speaker 1: a lot and even that I was then able to 815 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:52,600 Speaker 1: voice to her when I have these issues, this is 816 00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:54,120 Speaker 1: what I need. And now when I have my breakdown, 817 00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:57,359 Speaker 1: she goes hey, and I talked about the abandonment thing. 818 00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:01,200 Speaker 2: She's like, I'm not going anywhere, No, one's. 819 00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:04,120 Speaker 1: Ever done that for me, I'm not going anywhere, and 820 00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:07,000 Speaker 1: then the shame we feel and we kind of have 821 00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:11,200 Speaker 1: those little breakdowns. She immediately she knows now how it feels, 822 00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:13,520 Speaker 1: so she's like, oh, in five minutes, she's like, hey, 823 00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:15,040 Speaker 1: let's go to park, Let's go here, let's go there, 824 00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:16,759 Speaker 1: so I don't feel ashamed where I would have in 825 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,959 Speaker 1: the past. When you feel ashamed, then I started acting 826 00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:21,680 Speaker 1: like more of an asshole. That's really like your growth 827 00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:25,360 Speaker 1: starts now and now like all these great things are happening. 828 00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:28,400 Speaker 1: Your dad is leading the way for you. So I'm 829 00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:32,200 Speaker 1: sure that's as you're doing this working with your therapist, realize, Okay, 830 00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:34,480 Speaker 1: this is all happening the way it's supposed to happen. 831 00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:37,279 Speaker 3: I appreciate you saying that a whole lot. You know, 832 00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:40,120 Speaker 3: it's nice to get that affirmation, right like so you 833 00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:42,560 Speaker 3: get you know, because you know how some days you 834 00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:44,759 Speaker 3: go into a therapy session and you're like, oh, there 835 00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:46,160 Speaker 3: are all these things I want to talk about, and 836 00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:48,279 Speaker 3: then there are some days where you're like the appointment's 837 00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:50,800 Speaker 3: popping up and you're like, you're stuck. 838 00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:53,640 Speaker 4: I don't really know. Yeah, where'd you now? 839 00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:54,040 Speaker 3: You know? 840 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:55,800 Speaker 1: Same thing as the physical. 841 00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:58,560 Speaker 2: Sometimes you jim, you just don't feel like being there. 842 00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:00,480 Speaker 2: Sometimes you go in, you have an all world session. 843 00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:03,200 Speaker 1: They're just therapists. Are our coaches? Ty, I look them, 844 00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:06,400 Speaker 1: I take away that stigma. They're really just our coaches, 845 00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:09,680 Speaker 1: nothing else. And by the way, somebody sent the message 846 00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:11,920 Speaker 1: on the post you're talking about, and they're like, man, 847 00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:14,440 Speaker 1: you're old as fuck. You're getting married fifty four. He 848 00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:16,080 Speaker 1: ain't gonna be live. But it's long or what. And 849 00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:18,879 Speaker 1: here's the way I view it. If I weigh fifty 850 00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,839 Speaker 1: four years and it's an eternity thing, golden, all right, 851 00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:22,880 Speaker 1: I get it for another. 852 00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:24,400 Speaker 2: Thirty four year whatever, But I have the rest of 853 00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:27,960 Speaker 2: my attorney with her. I'm happy. So a lot of 854 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,759 Speaker 2: us put a time limit on it because of that. 855 00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:32,520 Speaker 1: I don't. I think it's for the rest of eternity 856 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:35,920 Speaker 1: and whatever happens with you, just remember that it's it's 857 00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:36,640 Speaker 1: an eternity thing. 858 00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:38,439 Speaker 3: I love that. I love that so much. 859 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:40,960 Speaker 4: Have you guys written balls? Are you going to do? 860 00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:43,120 Speaker 4: Is that going to be the sort of thing where 861 00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:44,600 Speaker 4: you're gonna she is? 862 00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:47,640 Speaker 1: And by the way, this obviously this podcast is the 863 00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:50,360 Speaker 1: last one before we go get married, So next week's 864 00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:53,120 Speaker 1: podcast will be a repeat of me and Rosie doing 865 00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:55,480 Speaker 1: our original podcast, which are so nervous to do, but 866 00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:57,120 Speaker 1: we really get and she had a wild story, as 867 00:38:57,160 --> 00:38:59,839 Speaker 1: you know, but all these life lessons we've learned how 868 00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:02,520 Speaker 1: to find love later in life. This is her first marriage, 869 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,320 Speaker 1: and Rosie fifty five. She looks like she's a vampire. 870 00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:06,080 Speaker 1: She looks twenty two. 871 00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:08,880 Speaker 3: But yeah, no one would put that on her. 872 00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:10,880 Speaker 1: I'm trying to think if I just wing it, but 873 00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:12,640 Speaker 1: I know what I want to say because I don't 874 00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,239 Speaker 1: use teleprompter. I sucked with that, yeah, and I'm great 875 00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:18,680 Speaker 1: without it. But she's started to write it out, and yeah, 876 00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:21,200 Speaker 1: we're excited, just the two of us in the Malfa Coast, 877 00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:23,720 Speaker 1: no one else because I'm not having my shipberd friends 878 00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:26,359 Speaker 1: come and I can't. I can't, I couldn't cut it off. 879 00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:29,319 Speaker 1: So but listen, Kaylee, I couldn't think of a better 880 00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:32,160 Speaker 1: guest to have as my final guest before I go 881 00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:35,600 Speaker 1: get married, because I'm just honored that you opened up 882 00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:38,440 Speaker 1: and told me that story, that you told it to me. 883 00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:41,279 Speaker 2: Half of it, you know, one day with me you 884 00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:43,560 Speaker 2: went big Wit in Beverly Hills. 885 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,440 Speaker 1: The whole thing is just I'm honored that I'm what 886 00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:48,680 Speaker 1: you chose to really open up and tell the story too. 887 00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:49,360 Speaker 1: I'm really honored. 888 00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:52,800 Speaker 4: So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Dreams, 889 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:55,799 Speaker 4: dreams do come true for all of us. 890 00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:57,319 Speaker 1: And I'm proud of you. All the people. I don't 891 00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:58,560 Speaker 1: even know how to do vote for the Emmy or 892 00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:04,960 Speaker 1: whatever it is, but did, Kayla damn Heavy. I really 893 00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:09,279 Speaker 1: really appreciate you coming on with me. Thank you for 894 00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:11,560 Speaker 1: joining the Unbreakable Mental Wealth podcast. I'll see you on 895 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:12,719 Speaker 1: the other side of my marriage. 896 00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:13,719 Speaker 3: You wait