Speaker 1: We don't know.
Speaker 2: We've been made up. Same day we a fight of
Speaker 2: my food stay up and I just lay yup.
Speaker 3: It was had buddies passed stuff something.
Speaker 4: Welcome back to good mom's bad choices. I'm Erica and
Speaker 4: I'm Mila. Happy Wednesday, Happy Honday.
Speaker 3: How are you doing? I'm good? How are you?
Speaker 5: I'm good? Wednesday?
Speaker 4: Now on the last am I driven.
Speaker 1: The whole Tuesday thinking it was Wednesday, Tuesday.
Speaker 4: Basically over It's Wednesday, so it's actually Tuesday.
Speaker 3: You will hear this.
Speaker 5: It's Wednesday people usually it's.
Speaker 3: Well. Now you know. We have a special guest today.
Speaker 3: We have Beja here.
Speaker 5: Hello everybody, thank you for joining us, for having me.
Speaker 4: You were connected to us through a mutual friend. Shout
Speaker 4: out to Brandon.
Speaker 5: Esb appreciate your brother may Anisa.
Speaker 3: Espy, who is one of my best friends.
Speaker 1: There also are attentative video editors, photographer, event planning crew
Speaker 1: and consultants.
Speaker 4: The cutest couple of all time and the cutest baby makers.
Speaker 3: Of all times.
Speaker 6: True, I am I'm very popular.
Speaker 3: I don't get that under control. But Bja, thank you
Speaker 3: for joining us. Your last name is Williams.
Speaker 5: Williams J.
Speaker 3: Williams.
Speaker 5: So can you tell us a little.
Speaker 3: Bit about you and what you're doing?
Speaker 5: Who you are? Who am I?
Speaker 7: Damn?
Speaker 3: A man with a deep voice?
Speaker 5: Yeah, remind me to speak up because my voice is
Speaker 5: deep and I'm normally just like lo.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, this mike's pretty good and you're pretty sitting pretty.
Speaker 5: So if you guys can't hear me, just turn your
Speaker 5: volumes up real very one.
Speaker 3: Speech.
Speaker 5: You can't hear you.
Speaker 3: Speakers up, ladies, you can you see that sex me
Speaker 3: one time? Everybody's attention. All the ladies listening right now?
Speaker 5: Who ladies, turn your volumes up. I don't even know
Speaker 5: if that was.
Speaker 3: We're gonna use that for all the dry.
Speaker 5: Who am I? Damn? Well, I'm here. I think I'm
Speaker 5: here because I started a document series called Can I
Speaker 5: Be Vulnerable. It's a this is a video series where
Speaker 5: black men open up to the world with the vulnerabilities.
Speaker 5: There wants, fears, they're all that kind of stuff. That's
Speaker 5: basically it. Other than that, though, shit, I'm in entertainment.
Speaker 5: You know a model I act. I've been doing that
Speaker 5: for almost a decade now as well. I've been a
Speaker 5: teacher for like eleven years as well, so I do
Speaker 5: both a former athlete.
Speaker 1: I do a little thing here and there, Papa, your dad,
Speaker 1: I'm a father.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I gotta. I call him my baby. Even though
Speaker 5: he's sixteen, I still call him my baby. So there's that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, does he Is he still fucking with you? Or
Speaker 4: are you like annoying? Or is that only happened to moms.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a good question.
Speaker 5: No, my son is very much like I has. My
Speaker 5: demeanor is very laid back to so I don't have
Speaker 5: those kind of problems. And with kids getting older, my
Speaker 5: my concern is now is him out in the world.
Speaker 5: It's the things that I can't control that worry me.
Speaker 5: I'm not worried about my son. He's very well behaved,
Speaker 5: very respectful, loves people. But like what the world can
Speaker 5: do to him is what now scares me. And there's
Speaker 5: nothing I can do about that, you know what I mean?
Speaker 5: Have you had to have that talk with him? We
Speaker 5: have to talk all the time.
Speaker 3: But like, when did that happen?
Speaker 4: Was it like like the time I'm talking about is
Speaker 4: like being a black man in America?
Speaker 5: That one? Oh no, No. So We've had this talking
Speaker 5: a number of times with I think the very first
Speaker 5: time we actually sat down and had a really serious
Speaker 5: one was Trayvon Martin, and that was one of the
Speaker 5: first times I can remember as a father where I
Speaker 5: was like, fuck, I can't I can't protect him from everything,
Speaker 5: And I honestly didn't even know how to have that
Speaker 5: full conversation with him. I called my dad and it
Speaker 5: was like, you know, I can cuss on here, right,
Speaker 5: have you heard? Yeah, so make sure my manager. It
Speaker 5: was the first time, like I didn't know what to
Speaker 5: say to him. And I called my dad and honestly,
Speaker 5: I don't remember my father having that conversation with me,
Speaker 5: but not like a sit down and be let me
Speaker 5: tell you about being a black man an It was yeah,
Speaker 5: we would just it would be in small talks just
Speaker 5: through life, right, But this particular incident happened and my
Speaker 5: son asked me, like, you know, you just asked me
Speaker 5: about it. I was like, shit, I don't even know what
Speaker 5: to say to you right now. So I called my
Speaker 5: dad and he kind of just really gave me a
Speaker 5: pep talk about, you know, just being a black man
Speaker 5: in America, not necessarily what to say to my son.
Speaker 5: Ever since then, we've always you know, we had a
Speaker 5: conversation about it or whatever I told him about the
Speaker 5: laws is why he was able to get off the
Speaker 5: stuff like that. And I told him, like, to be
Speaker 5: honest with your kid, like, you know, your father's job
Speaker 5: is to protect you from everything, and I can't. And
Speaker 5: I said, for me, that's terrifying because you know, baby, like,
Speaker 5: you're supposed to outlive me, and if there at any
Speaker 5: point you don't, well, shit, dad might have to go
Speaker 5: right there with you, you know what I mean. But I
Speaker 5: told him that it is also my job as a
Speaker 5: parent to do the small things vote you know, have
Speaker 5: conversations with other adults, make sure that I am setting
Speaker 5: an example, and if something goes wrong that I fight
Speaker 5: for that, you know what I mean. That's how I
Speaker 5: can protect my son, not necessarily by hoarding him and
Speaker 5: keeping them doors, but by going out in the world
Speaker 5: and making the world better for him. So you trust
Speaker 5: d to do that.
Speaker 3: But it's only just me, right, are you the mom
Speaker 3: or your single parent?
Speaker 5: Single parent? Me and his mother are best friends. So
Speaker 5: that's my that's my girl. We were never together. We
Speaker 5: just my son was an accident.
Speaker 3: That's a funny list.
Speaker 1: You're the second guy who's coming on this show, and
Speaker 1: I was like, no, we were never together.
Speaker 5: Was never supposed to that night wasn't even supposed to happen.
Speaker 5: It was one of those wake up and like we
Speaker 5: would never speak about this ever again.
Speaker 1: Really wait, so you guys are just cool, cool, cool friends,
Speaker 1: best friends. I've been middle school like drunken, slept together,
Speaker 1: she got partnered.
Speaker 3: That was like the only time to get that.
Speaker 5: Ever was left again game with pulling and hennessy and
Speaker 5: that was it.
Speaker 4: Oh she didn't have Has it taken time to get
Speaker 4: to this point or No.
Speaker 5: We've always been that's amazing. We've always been tired. We've
Speaker 5: had one falling out and and honestly, I still don't
Speaker 5: really know the why behind it. I know the incident
Speaker 5: of where, but it wasn't that it was something else
Speaker 5: and we didn't speak for like two years, but that
Speaker 5: it didn't really impact my son, like nothing like that.
Speaker 5: But we had one one falling out and this one day,
Speaker 5: my son's basketball game, she just came up to me
Speaker 5: and gave me a huggin. We was just backbrocking again,
Speaker 5: like we never left. But she's married, you know, a
Speaker 5: few other kids and shit. So that's my girl, that's
Speaker 5: my age. That's amazing. That's my girl right there. We're good.
Speaker 3: What's your son?
Speaker 5: Believer M.
Speaker 3: Triggered her baby.
Speaker 5: Daddy October fourteenth. I don't know what none of this
Speaker 5: shit means.
Speaker 1: I didn't know if I was balance made with balance
Speaker 1: with libras. It's either like it could be black or white.
Speaker 1: It could be like either really good or really bad.
Speaker 3: A man for you for me? Yeah, it's not in general.
Speaker 3: Don't scare our guests.
Speaker 1: No, I'm sorry my with my fake ass ostrological reading
Speaker 1: October fourteenth, I know about full other people with that birthday.
Speaker 1: And wait, so after you had your son, even though
Speaker 1: you guys had already been friends and you know, or
Speaker 1: were close, did you ever try to date or be
Speaker 1: romantic because you had a son or you guys.
Speaker 3: Never forced that part.
Speaker 5: No, we never forced it.
Speaker 3: Oh that's healthy.
Speaker 5: We never forced it. You guys seem very healthy.
Speaker 3: I know, wow, very Yeah, that's beautiful.
Speaker 5: It's very rare that had and I was leaving for college.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you said you're eighteen school.
Speaker 5: I graduated from Washington.
Speaker 3: State, okay, and then you came back.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm from Las Vegas originally.
Speaker 3: Not many people I meet from laws and raised Vegas.
Speaker 5: But you know, La is right next door. The was
Speaker 5: raised out here, so I've been in La all the time.
Speaker 5: I would come for summers, you know, as a kid
Speaker 5: up and all that stuff. So I'm very familiar with well,
Speaker 5: not one of those transplants. I'm very familiar with the
Speaker 5: free rays. Before y'all was You're not.
Speaker 3: The same as a trans Now that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Is your girlfriend, I mean your girlfriend, your son's mom
Speaker 1: from Vegas?
Speaker 3: Too interesting?
Speaker 4: So you have a son, you're doing this work. How
Speaker 4: can you talk about how you started to why you started?
Speaker 5: I can't be I can't be vulnerable.
Speaker 3: Can I be vulnerable?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Can I be vulnerable? Came up because I go to
Speaker 5: therapy and I wanted to find a way to talk
Speaker 5: about my journey to therapy. And it just came to
Speaker 5: me one day. I was on vacation and just the
Speaker 5: term cannot be vulnerable just popped in my head. I
Speaker 5: was just on the beach and it just kind of
Speaker 5: just hit me that way. So I got back maybe
Speaker 5: like a week later. I had another good friend of mine,
Speaker 5: Brandon Thomas. He does all the editing for the videos,
Speaker 5: and I just called him like, yeah, I know what
Speaker 5: I want to do and he came through. We filmed
Speaker 5: it in my backyard.
Speaker 3: But what led you to this?
Speaker 4: Like what led you to your therapy journey? And wanting
Speaker 4: to share that.
Speaker 5: With you, know, with you, I'm one of those people
Speaker 5: that I have to do something. I'm gonna call it dramatic,
Speaker 5: but in order for me to because it was another
Speaker 5: part of my healing process, right, So I was like,
Speaker 5: and then another thing was is like, why am I
Speaker 5: suffering in silence? I talked to a lot of people,
Speaker 5: I have students, I heard their stories all the time.
Speaker 5: You know, a lot of people call me up with
Speaker 5: their problems, but it always seems like we all suffering silence.
Speaker 5: So I was thinking, like, just let me just put
Speaker 5: this shit out there and hopefully it helps. What were
Speaker 5: you suffering from?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 5: With putting me in therapy? Is my brother committed suicide
Speaker 5: And obviously that's devastating in itself. He's older. Make it
Speaker 5: more significant is that I was the one at the time.
Speaker 5: I felt like I failed him because I was the
Speaker 5: one on the phone with him trying to solve this problem.
Speaker 5: We're on the phone as he's tripping. How old were
Speaker 5: you when this happened? And so so not long ago.
Speaker 5: This is now five years ago. It was twenty fourteen,
Speaker 5: and so I was the one that everybody called and said,
Speaker 5: solved this problem, like your brother's trip and what's going
Speaker 5: on with him? You know, the cops called me, they
Speaker 5: were trying to get me to find his location. His
Speaker 5: fiance at the time was calling. You know, the whole
Speaker 5: family were calling me like hey, you know what's going on,
Speaker 5: and like get him? And I did, Like i've at
Speaker 5: the time, I took the blame, like this is my
Speaker 5: fault that I failed the family and myself. So that's
Speaker 5: what was my That was what set me over the edge, right,
Speaker 5: But you know there's a bunch of things behind. You
Speaker 5: knew my mom died when I was sixteen. You know
Speaker 5: that's another loss. But I in my video, I say
Speaker 5: I've had a funeral to go to every year since
Speaker 5: like nineteen ninety eight, even prior to that. Like my
Speaker 5: life with death is wild, you know what I mean,
Speaker 5: especially because I don't live by them lifestyle. So you know,
Speaker 5: at one point Mike's girlfriend was like, yo, that's like
Speaker 5: follows you because it would be for a while, I
Speaker 5: would wake up every day and look at my phone
Speaker 5: and be like somebody died, and then I would just
Speaker 5: feel like and it would.
Speaker 4: Just it wouldn't be like gang violence or like, it
Speaker 4: would just be it's normal not normal life.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I'm like, you gotta be kidnaping.
Speaker 4: So it's funny. We had another guest on Natasha and
Speaker 4: she suicide follows her. She's been witnessed to many suicide,
Speaker 4: like like three or four.
Speaker 5: I've had a few friends commits.
Speaker 3: More than three or four, like five or six.
Speaker 5: Yeah, a few of them commits suicide. One was accidental. Yeah,
Speaker 5: there's a word purposeful.
Speaker 3: I have like four is it suicide if it's accidental,
Speaker 3: if you do it yourself? I think it's like, man,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna call it.
Speaker 5: I'm not sure if there is a term.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 4: Why did you ever think like why is it that
Speaker 4: that death seems to follow you? Because it's funny because
Speaker 4: I've met a few people like this. I like, I
Speaker 4: have one person in particular, my baby daddy, who that
Speaker 4: seems to follow around too. But that's more so because
Speaker 4: he's been associated with like gangs this whole life.
Speaker 5: And you know, I can understand. Or if you've been
Speaker 5: to war, that's.
Speaker 4: Another that's a lifestyle, but he sometimes asked himself like why,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, what do you mean why? Whereas like
Speaker 4: for Natasha, she thinks that she committed suicide in the
Speaker 4: past life. So I don't know if, like if you've
Speaker 4: just had to search spiritually to try to reason why,
Speaker 4: or if it's just this is just how the world
Speaker 4: works in your world.
Speaker 5: I haven't gotten that deep, but at this point is
Speaker 5: how my world has worked, and it may.
Speaker 1: It may even be because again with my my psychic
Speaker 1: reading abilities.
Speaker 3: By expertise and light psychic creating.
Speaker 1: It maybe because this is very well the platform you know,
Speaker 1: you were supposed to be supposed to create, and and
Speaker 1: you have a calling.
Speaker 5: Obviously, you know, i'd be right. I don't know, because I.
Speaker 1: Believe everybody gets only what they can handle, and you know,
Speaker 1: who knows what the purpose is behind those there's always
Speaker 1: something bigger, I'd like to believe, And obviously in our community,
Speaker 1: particularly like black men have a hard time being vulnerable,
Speaker 1: being expressive, being emotional, and like a lot of times
Speaker 1: for us it's like you being a little bitch, you know,
Speaker 1: like that's I mean.
Speaker 3: That's harsh, but that's what people say. I've heard I've
Speaker 3: heard men sit into their like four year olds. I'm like,
Speaker 3: what the fuck?
Speaker 1: And you being a you know, obviously your your dad's
Speaker 1: president in your life. You can pick up the phone
Speaker 1: and call him, and your president in your son's life,
Speaker 1: and what do you think as a father, and you know,
Speaker 1: being fathered, we could do to like change that that
Speaker 1: perspective with our boys. It is like starting young until adulthood.
Speaker 1: That will change that a little bit.
Speaker 5: Give them permission to be vulnerable. So don't tell them
Speaker 5: the man not don't tell them you're acting like a bitch. Also,
Speaker 5: we can take the initiatives ourselves. And I'm talking like
Speaker 5: because kids are already emotionally, they have no problems at
Speaker 5: all emoting whatever they're feeling. They'll tell you if they
Speaker 5: don't like you, if they're sad. They have zero problems.
Speaker 5: Is when the adults come in and say stop doing
Speaker 5: this is when you now learn what you can and
Speaker 5: can't do. And the only emotions we allow for young
Speaker 5: men boys is anger and like joy. So if you
Speaker 5: see him laughing, obviously going to let them do that
Speaker 5: and then anger because that's just what you feel like
Speaker 5: we're supposed to do. So give them permission to do
Speaker 5: so is one and for people that are established teams enough,
Speaker 5: take your own initiative, take permission, like give yourself permission
Speaker 5: to be open and vulnerable and be and be emotional
Speaker 5: and at the end of the day, just have safe
Speaker 5: spaces for you, you know what I mean? Or now
Speaker 5: with CIBV being a full initiative platform, whatever you want
Speaker 5: to call it, those are some of our goals that
Speaker 5: we want to I just want to normalize that men
Speaker 5: are emotional.
Speaker 3: Like you're human, We go through ship, we cry yea.
Speaker 3: Growing up, were you given permission like what was.
Speaker 5: Your what was your relationships? My mother used to always
Speaker 5: tell My mother suffered from depression as well, and she
Speaker 5: used to always say be strong. But she never told
Speaker 5: me what the hell that meant. I don't know what
Speaker 5: she means. She would be breakdown crying and she would
Speaker 5: just stay stay stay strong. I don't know, I love it.
Speaker 5: I don't know what this means. But they never if
Speaker 5: I would cry for something, they would never like stop
Speaker 5: crying or unless they would whoop and me like I'll
Speaker 5: give you something cry. They never you know, stiphen what
Speaker 5: I was doing. But they, specifically for my father, he
Speaker 5: always told me crying was okay, but he never ever
Speaker 5: seen your dad cry, or I've seen my father cry.
Speaker 5: The first some I saw my father cried was just
Speaker 5: when his mom died. I was three. We went to
Speaker 5: the funeral. Man, I'm three. I don't really understand the
Speaker 5: fact that you remember that. I remember. I remember certain aspects.
Speaker 5: My father was raised in Philly, and I remember my parents. Yeah.
Speaker 5: I remember being like patches of snow. I remember the
Speaker 5: squirrel coming down from a telephone pole. I remember walking
Speaker 5: into I'm gonna call at the funeral home. I don't
Speaker 5: even know where at church, I don't know where we were.
Speaker 5: I remember holding my mom's hand walking to the casket.
Speaker 5: She picked me up, gave me to my father, and
Speaker 5: he kissed me, and then he put me down, and
Speaker 5: I just saw tears coming. That's all I remember about
Speaker 5: that whole trip. That was the first time when you
Speaker 5: told me my mom died. That was the second time.
Speaker 3: Were they married at the time, No, No, they weren't.
Speaker 5: They got divorced. I was like ten, But they had
Speaker 5: known each other as they were kids, you know, Like,
Speaker 5: so that's a lifelong love, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Well, married or not married?
Speaker 5: Who but like you know they My dad was seven,
Speaker 5: my mom was five when they met for the first time,
Speaker 5: and so he had no you know, you guys are
Speaker 5: lifelong friends, whether or not the marriage worked or not.
Speaker 5: So not only did you lose you know, the mother,
Speaker 5: you know, your son's mother, but he lost a friend
Speaker 5: next wife. So uh, he cried then and then when
Speaker 5: I graduated high school in college, so those were tears
Speaker 5: of joy.
Speaker 3: Mm.
Speaker 5: Other than that, my father's extremely quiet, m very quiet,
Speaker 5: very reserved. If you speak to him, will speak, But
Speaker 5: my father's very reserved. He doesn't. He doesn't speak much
Speaker 5: a though.
Speaker 3: So would you say he's a vulnerable person.
Speaker 5: Hell no, Okay, my father is very You wouldn't know
Speaker 5: he was. It's hard to tell him if he's angry
Speaker 5: like you just you just want to know. He suppressed
Speaker 5: a lot of shit. So one of my goals is
Speaker 5: to get him in the theory when this niggas stubborn.
Speaker 3: What does he think about your journey?
Speaker 4: And like does he I mean, I'm sure, does does
Speaker 4: he support it or does he understand it?
Speaker 5: Over joy like he is. You can hear this voice
Speaker 5: when he speaks like he's definitely hype proud and all
Speaker 5: that shit, I hear it.
Speaker 4: Do you think that not being able to be vulnerable?
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know what what why your brother
Speaker 4: committed suicide, and I don't even know if you want
Speaker 4: to share that, but I think not being vulnerable played
Speaker 4: a part in that, like him not being able to
Speaker 4: express his feelings or not knowing how to.
Speaker 3: Deal with them.
Speaker 5: The funny thing about suicides is designs are always there.
Speaker 5: We just don't pay attention to him.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 5: So, ten years prior, my brother had a stroke and
Speaker 5: that changed his whole. If you know anything about strokes
Speaker 5: and all, they can change your whole, you can change
Speaker 5: you talk everything, all that. So my brother was extremely goofy, funny,
Speaker 5: talk fast and shit, there's always you know, love to
Speaker 5: be around people. And then he had to stroke and
Speaker 5: turned into a hermit and developed OCD. Now we've always
Speaker 5: been very clean in our household, but he would do
Speaker 5: shit like l He would watch towels every single day,
Speaker 5: like and I'm not I can't even make this up.
Speaker 5: Every day he would watch howls. It'd be three in
Speaker 5: the morning, He'll get up and start dusting, like I
Speaker 5: have my own room in at his house. And I
Speaker 5: remember some time you're sleeping, They'll coming to start a vacuuming.
Speaker 5: The fuck are you doing up?
Speaker 3: Wow?
Speaker 5: He would clean every single day OCD though. I mean
Speaker 5: the house was immaculate.
Speaker 9: Yes, figure it out. You guys need to figure it out.
Speaker 9: You gotta share, a babe, you guys gotta share.
Speaker 4: We'll try, we'll go make the castle or I'm putting
Speaker 4: it away.
Speaker 5: Oh gosh, the drama of it all. Yeah, So that
Speaker 5: was the first big thing that nobody paid attention. Irritable.
Speaker 1: I had no idea that a stroke could affect you,
Speaker 1: like your personality in that.
Speaker 5: Because it's a psychological well no, it's a loss of
Speaker 5: oxygen to something, but it can't change you like you.
Speaker 5: Sometimes depending on the stroke, you can have to learn
Speaker 5: how to walk and talk and all.
Speaker 4: This guy, it was my grandfather went through that and
Speaker 4: learned how to write again, talk, walk, Because it's like, yeah,
Speaker 4: part of your brain loses oxen and it's almost like decapit.
Speaker 4: It's like it can be rehabilitated, yeah, almost fully sometimes
Speaker 4: but sometimes no. I didn't realize that it totally like
Speaker 4: character traits can change.
Speaker 5: So that's that's what happened to him. And with that
Speaker 5: comes to depression and all that shit LCD and all that.
Speaker 5: So but again I didn't. I knew he's like changed,
Speaker 5: but I didn't pay too much. I was gone. I
Speaker 5: was in college, you know what I mean. I never
Speaker 5: really moved back home either, So I was I was gone.
Speaker 5: I would just know, like if him and Mom's got
Speaker 5: my stepmam and got into it, they would she would
Speaker 5: they would call me like, hey, you know, we're beefing again,
Speaker 5: and I would problem solve or whatever. But fast forward,
Speaker 5: you know, he got engaged and then he found out
Speaker 5: she was having an affair, and that's what set him
Speaker 5: over the edge. So he put his plan in emotion
Speaker 5: and he wanted her to hurt as he heard, So
Speaker 5: that's what he did that.
Speaker 3: So that's what it was, because that right when he
Speaker 3: that time, when that obviously that happened.
Speaker 1: Had there ever been any like threats or an attempts.
Speaker 3: Before that, not that I know.
Speaker 5: Again, I didn't. I never moved back home, right right, fix,
Speaker 5: I never moved back home, so I wasn't around him
Speaker 5: every day but when I would go home.
Speaker 4: But you were, but you were still the one that
Speaker 4: was the fixer, even though you weren't necessarily.
Speaker 5: Present like, yeah, I get your brother, he treat me
Speaker 5: cause how.
Speaker 3: Much older was even here?
Speaker 5: Three years? Oh okay?
Speaker 3: So yeah wow. Well so then that led you into
Speaker 3: after that?
Speaker 5: Uh yeah, I was like, yo, you something was wrong
Speaker 5: with you again? Well how did you?
Speaker 3: How did you deal with that?
Speaker 5: I mean like did it a media?
Speaker 3: Alcohol?
Speaker 5: Another thing too? Around that time, I was in couples therapy.
Speaker 5: Me and that next girlfriend were a couples therapy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so therapy was already were already introduced to it
Speaker 4: at that point.
Speaker 5: Couples. Yeah, we were in couples therapiy when this all
Speaker 5: went down.
Speaker 3: That's pretty young to be in couples therapy. I thought
Speaker 3: I would w no, I think it's good. I don't.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of like non married, younger couples
Speaker 1: don't consider that is an option.
Speaker 5: It wasn't like I was just like, yeah, let's go.
Speaker 5: I s she was definite. You know what it was like.
Speaker 5: I never said no, I will let me say. I'm like,
Speaker 5: I don't wen't really need it. But I was like,
Speaker 5: all right, I put it on her to find it,
Speaker 5: like you find a therapist. And then I'd be like, nah, man,
Speaker 5: I don't like them. I'm not paying for that, Like
Speaker 5: I wouldn't make an excuse, it wasn't even about that.
Speaker 5: I was just like, yeah, right. And then something had
Speaker 5: happened in our relationship that nothing like super drastic or
Speaker 5: anything like that, but something happened. I was like, you
Speaker 5: know what. I finally was like, let's do this, Like
Speaker 5: we can go, I'll be fully in president and all
Speaker 5: that shit. But amongst all of that, you know, with
Speaker 5: my brother and whatnot, even in just couplestery, even before
Speaker 5: him dying, I was like, man, something ain't right. And
Speaker 5: I knew that. I know, at hell I can be
Speaker 5: in this relationship until I get me fixed. And if
Speaker 5: I'm not healed, how in the hell can I be
Speaker 5: for this woman? And that kind of was implanted through
Speaker 5: therapy because we were going through individual stuff as we're
Speaker 5: in couples therapy. She would talk about her individual up
Speaker 5: growing up in mine, and you know, our therapist is
Speaker 5: kind of given us the back and forth on how
Speaker 5: we grew up and all that things and how we
Speaker 5: interact and behave in a relationship. Your triggers right, and
Speaker 5: then like stuff like how are your parents' relationships and
Speaker 5: that thing is a huge thing that we don't pay
Speaker 5: attention to M. What you see growing up is M
Speaker 5: what you're born and likely to indulate or accept as
Speaker 5: love and what it should be or run from or
Speaker 5: run from correct. But like I said, I was in there.
Speaker 5: I'm like, man, something that's not right. And then this
Speaker 5: happens and I'm like, yeah, it's definitely it's not right.
Speaker 5: And like I was self medicating with alcohol and shit.
Speaker 5: I would come home and just kill a bottle and
Speaker 5: pass out on the couch and get up and go
Speaker 5: to work again. And then, uh, I don't know. One
Speaker 5: day I was like, man, one day I just came home,
Speaker 5: I got do aught a liquor in my house. I
Speaker 5: backed it up. She came home from work and I
Speaker 5: was like, get this shit the hell up out of here.
Speaker 5: She took it right out. She didn't even hesitate. I
Speaker 5: got in a therapy a week after that, and it's
Speaker 5: been on ever since. So how long did it take
Speaker 5: you to find the therapist for you?
Speaker 3: Was it the same one that you guys were already seeing.
Speaker 5: No, no, no, no, she couldn't. I don't legally, I don't
Speaker 5: think she could.
Speaker 3: So have you see a couple as a couple, it's
Speaker 3: legally it's.
Speaker 5: Like, yeah, it's like I don't know about legally, but
Speaker 5: they wouldn't want to, like unless we were going to
Speaker 5: come back as a couple. Biased And now she's seen
Speaker 5: us together, so she was like, unless you guys come
Speaker 5: back together, I don't want to see either or you
Speaker 5: know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Are you still seeing a therapist? Isn't the same therapists
Speaker 1: you started?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 5: No, no, I I have a black woman now. My
Speaker 5: first one moves Colombia.
Speaker 3: Okay, Columbia. Yeah, why is it kind of what kind
Speaker 3: of very specific, specific.
Speaker 5: Specific accent. I'm like, where are you from? She's like Columbia.
Speaker 5: I was like, all right, cool. And then I got
Speaker 5: a black woman because she moved, she changed offices. She's
Speaker 5: like further around. I was like, I'm not driving out there.
Speaker 5: And then I got a black woman, so I've been
Speaker 5: whatever since she's.
Speaker 1: One thing I think I noticed amongst men that's different
Speaker 1: from women is that women we will call our girlfriends
Speaker 1: up and be like I'm coming over. I'm bringing this whiskey.
Speaker 3: And I might cry.
Speaker 8: You know.
Speaker 3: It's totally normal.
Speaker 1: To have this kind of like therapeutic camaraderie, camaraderie amongst women,
Speaker 1: to hug each other to be, you know, vulnerable with
Speaker 1: each other more so than I think it is men
Speaker 1: they do. I think it may be only give.
Speaker 3: In your friends.
Speaker 5: No, no, men get together and ya listen. I think
Speaker 5: there's no when a homies is hurt behind a woman,
Speaker 5: but not even behind a woman.
Speaker 4: Maybe a woman, but not like what else deeper than that?
Speaker 4: Now time when guys it's very surface, that's not I'm
Speaker 4: digging deep.
Speaker 5: And some of them do.
Speaker 3: There are, don't get me wrong, there are, but like I.
Speaker 5: Feel like I'll give you that. They'll do it and
Speaker 5: it won't be the conversation will necessarily come up. We'll
Speaker 5: just want to be around our guys in a way
Speaker 5: from that as opposed to be talking about it. So
Speaker 5: I'll give you that.
Speaker 1: Or just like to embrace one another, to like hiss
Speaker 1: your friend on the cheek and be like it's okay, wait.
Speaker 5: A minute, you want more? Should get rid of my glass?
Speaker 3: Well, I didn't know. I thought I was gonna thought
Speaker 3: I was gonna knock it over. But he told you
Speaker 3: he threw away the liquor.
Speaker 5: You were like, but no, this is the thing now.
Speaker 5: So now every year I don't drink for like four
Speaker 5: months out the year January second, there's no alcohol until
Speaker 5: like spring break ish. I do this every year, so that's,
Speaker 5: you know, get dried for a minute, then I can
Speaker 5: kill my body the rest of the year.
Speaker 3: Sounds healthy, sounds really healthy.
Speaker 5: She start off just to start off the year of
Speaker 5: clear mind. Uh, you know all that workout shit clean.
Speaker 5: At least I started portioning it the year out clear
Speaker 5: and getting into work, and then after that, whatever happens.
Speaker 3: Have you ever tried to stop? Have you ever done it?
Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm not going vacation, sweetest is not my thing. Yeah, edibles,
Speaker 5: alimals dying because I'm one of those people like what
Speaker 5: I'll call you after a shout or to you start
Speaker 5: feeling something for me weed, I don't feel anything right
Speaker 5: and then and so like edibles and shit. So I'll,
Speaker 5: you know, give me edible telling me all this shit trash.
Speaker 3: I am not an edible person.
Speaker 5: We're still right here.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think I just keep fine. Yeah, okay, I'm not can't.
Speaker 5: So you know, I keep my weed into too. Yeah.
Speaker 5: When I go on vacation then I'm small. But other
Speaker 5: than that, I won't do it here.
Speaker 1: So so other than the document series having how many
Speaker 1: episodes did this part?
Speaker 5: We have forty forty two guys recorded. That's a lot. Yeah.
Speaker 4: You go about finding like some of more friends and
Speaker 4: they're just are they shy about opening up?
Speaker 3: And what are you asking them?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: What kind of questions? Like do you ask all of
Speaker 3: them to share with our listeners?
Speaker 5: Are you when we do the videos?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Like what are or how I ask them to come beyond?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 5: What are the kind of questions that you asked them?
Speaker 5: So there are twelve questions start with. So how it works?
Speaker 5: You introduce yourself, who you are, what you do. You've
Speaker 5: got something to promote. I sell the book Illus, my
Speaker 5: name is and I do this whatever you want to
Speaker 5: intro yourself with. That's all you. We started about ten
Speaker 5: or twelve questions and it's normally and it's just to
Speaker 5: get you talking right. So the first one is like
Speaker 5: have you been in therapy? Yes or no? Depending on
Speaker 5: what you answer no, and.
Speaker 3: What do you find? Mostly the answer is a.
Speaker 5: Majority of I gone really well. Again, most of the
Speaker 5: guys are retired NFL athletes. I come from the athlete world,
Speaker 5: so a lot of a lot of my friends are
Speaker 5: just guys that I played against in college. And all
Speaker 5: that shit, and I've met along the way or just
Speaker 5: guys that grew up with. So most of the guys
Speaker 5: are athletes, pro athletes, and then my entertainment friends that
Speaker 5: I've met along the way as well, So all the
Speaker 5: guys are professional black men. I eventually want to get
Speaker 5: to your every day man that doesn't have a platform,
Speaker 5: that's you know, doesn't have very many fucking followers, you
Speaker 5: every day man. Eventually actually take this back. Eventually. I
Speaker 5: don't want to have to do this.
Speaker 3: Like you want people to just I want I.
Speaker 5: Want tomalize this wh I'm no longer needed. The idea
Speaker 5: is to normalize vulnerability for black man. So when you
Speaker 5: see a black man and he's opening up about whatever,
Speaker 5: he's not being shunned about it. He's not being called
Speaker 5: a bitch, he's not being told a man up or
Speaker 5: and or you know, I want to normalize it. You know, hey, man, amen,
Speaker 5: I feel like crap right now, and nigga listen to me, Boom,
Speaker 5: get it out the way.
Speaker 3: Sure, go ahead.
Speaker 4: So as someone that's you know, on this journey and
Speaker 4: empowering you know, men to embrace that vulnerability. What are
Speaker 4: your what are you like hanging out with your homeboys, Like,
Speaker 4: are all your friends like just open?
Speaker 5: Me and my group of friends has been very open
Speaker 5: about everything in our lives. Okay, yeah, No, my group
Speaker 5: of friends have always been very open. We've never you know,
Speaker 5: it might take us a while to finally say something,
Speaker 5: but in all of my group chats, my guys are
Speaker 5: very and it doesn't matter what it is kids, you know,
Speaker 5: relationships just bad day to day. We've always and this
Speaker 5: is before I even went the therapy, so it's not
Speaker 5: like I went to therapy and all of a sudden
Speaker 5: the floodgates. But no, we've always been very open because
Speaker 5: they always you know, you always just want of each
Speaker 5: other's opinions on shit, you know, or just something to
Speaker 5: talk about. So now, my group of friends particular, have
Speaker 5: always been very open always. I can't say that, you know,
Speaker 5: for everybody else, but my group has always been open.
Speaker 1: Very mature of your friends, very healthy and mature.
Speaker 5: As I say this all the time, like I've.
Speaker 4: Been very we might need to hang out with them,
Speaker 4: have any issues being vulnerable?
Speaker 5: Okay men doing It's entirely different though, right, So I'm saying,
Speaker 5: like hanging out with a group of men, go Yeah,
Speaker 5: what does.
Speaker 3: She evenburis, Oh, let's give them the whole thing.
Speaker 5: We're going to continue this. So we got to wait
Speaker 5: for the.
Speaker 4: Cold because we posit and we have the segment on
Speaker 4: our show where we'll play elevator music when the kids interact,
Speaker 4: so like, you know, it's real, Mom.
Speaker 3: And Ship.
Speaker 5: Almost don't know me. I've listened to about seven episodes.
Speaker 5: I do my research.
Speaker 3: Which ones did you listen to?
Speaker 5: Ship? All your most recent ones? Who was the Blood
Speaker 5: and Crib Baby Mama? I listened to The make Up
Speaker 5: Lady before that, the you guys have the one with
Speaker 5: the Medium? Uh did you?
Speaker 4: By the way, if you haven't listened to our mom
Speaker 4: Cello episode, you're.
Speaker 5: Missing, don't be a psycho. This is your reason one. Yeah,
Speaker 5: currently listen, Brandon says. So as he was like, yo,
Speaker 5: we were shooting, and he was like, you know, my
Speaker 5: you know, niece's friends have a podcast, and I'm one
Speaker 5: of those people like I support my friends and that ship.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 5: I've been on Brandon maybe nine years now, and he
Speaker 5: said that, you know, her friends have a podcast. Thank you.
Speaker 3: Thanks.
Speaker 5: That's how friendships are supposed to know what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 5: it doesn't take much for you to subscribe to something,
Speaker 5: to take listening to nothing out of my day, you
Speaker 5: know what I mean. Listen, it's not it doesn't take
Speaker 5: anything away from me to sit and listen to something
Speaker 5: and share it.
Speaker 1: It's like, and my theory is, if you're friends with
Speaker 1: someone I'm close with, then we're like.
Speaker 3: Basically friends and if they like you, you should I
Speaker 3: should like you and.
Speaker 5: You should be yeah, right, like it would be your friend.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's how we're friends, literally should That's how.
Speaker 5: We so you know, yeah, I'm tuned in a bit.
Speaker 5: All right, we're back now you ready?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, we stopped. I didn't stop, but I know
Speaker 4: sometimes I do that. I can just cut that and
Speaker 4: start where we were just talking.
Speaker 3: I got cameras, cranbers aways, got the cameras.
Speaker 5: I'm back.
Speaker 1: Okay, good, great, Oh okay, So I was asking it
Speaker 1: you have all these episodes, I mean all these you know,
Speaker 1: different men discussing their vulnerability, like what is your goal?
Speaker 1: Like are you going to create?
Speaker 3: Like have you had meetups where people have.
Speaker 5: Like, yeah, we'll be doing events soon. Again, I didn't
Speaker 5: say this, but I didn't even want to. I wanted
Speaker 5: to just do mine. It was for me. It was
Speaker 5: a personal thing that I was like, just do this
Speaker 5: for you being and I did it, and my son
Speaker 5: did want to. I was gonna ask you if you yeah,
Speaker 5: my son. I made my son watch me do it.
Speaker 5: My son comes here every summer for a vacation and ship,
Speaker 5: so he watched me do it. Where did you? But yeah,
Speaker 5: he watched me do it. I wanted him to see
Speaker 5: what it looks like when a man this vulnerable opens
Speaker 5: up and a lot of these things he doesn't know,
Speaker 5: because not that he shouldn't know, but as a parent,
Speaker 5: sometimes do you feel like you're in not giving them
Speaker 5: you You feel like you're protecting them, but you could
Speaker 5: be doing them a disservice because there are times where
Speaker 5: I've parented and reacted to him with things that had
Speaker 5: nothing to do with him. And now that he knows that,
Speaker 5: sometimes Dad doesn't even feel like being dad right now,
Speaker 5: I don't even feel like being a parent, dude. And
Speaker 5: so sometimes my demeanor or my actions or something that
Speaker 5: I might say has nothing to do with you, son.
Speaker 5: It's coming from a different place life or whatever is happening.
Speaker 5: So I wanted him to be able to see that
Speaker 5: and understand that, you know, you think I'm superman, I'm not. Dad,
Speaker 5: He's not super Has your son seen you cry? Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 5: he saw, man. Listen. I was almost cried during my video,
Speaker 5: but he saw me cry. Uh man, This was some
Speaker 5: of the hardest things I've rather do when I had
Speaker 5: to tell him that my brother, his uncle, committed suicide.
Speaker 5: Oh my god. My dad made me do it, right,
Speaker 5: because his mom wanted to tell him, and my dad
Speaker 5: He's like, no, it's the man's job. He's his father.
Speaker 5: He needed to tell him. I was like, man, but
Speaker 5: he was right though. I needed to be the one
Speaker 5: to tell him. That is you know, his uncle passed away,
Speaker 5: and as a parent, you're supposed to protect your kids
Speaker 5: from you want to protect them from her and me
Speaker 5: telling you this is going to devastate you. So I'm
Speaker 5: already feeling like.
Speaker 3: Shit, fack so and you're devastated.
Speaker 5: Too, exactly right. So I told him and he just
Speaker 5: I picked him up from school. We in a parking lot.
Speaker 5: He just had to look on his I don't never
Speaker 5: want to see that shit again ever. Hell now, and
Speaker 5: his heart just crumbled and I bald. He was crying.
Speaker 5: I was crying. I was crying one because I lost
Speaker 5: my brother, but I'm also crying because I just hurt
Speaker 5: my son with the news, you know what I mean. So, yeah,
Speaker 5: he saw me. He saw me cry at the funeral.
Speaker 5: And when his grandmother died, you know, I called him up.
Speaker 5: His grandmother passed of uh his mom's mom document cancer,
Speaker 5: and you know that was he watched her with her away.
Speaker 5: Has he ever seen you cry? Not out of pain, no,
Speaker 5: like happiness or anything like that. You've seen me teary eyed.
Speaker 5: But a lot of times when I look at him
Speaker 5: and he's doing things, he doesn't see me. He's in
Speaker 5: the middle of doing it, so he doesn't see me
Speaker 5: like super hype and he's so emotional like you get teote, right,
Speaker 5: But I'm.
Speaker 3: Just going around. I have There's definitely been moments where
Speaker 3: I'm like wow, where I have.
Speaker 4: Moments where I'm like, it's crazy the love I have.
Speaker 4: It makes me emotional, I know, you know.
Speaker 5: But I also like to stay out of his way
Speaker 5: when he's doing things, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 5: if he's playing sports or yeah, I like to stay
Speaker 5: in the back, like I don't you know. I try
Speaker 5: not to speak too much, like I cheer for him,
Speaker 5: of course, but I try not to, Like, I just
Speaker 5: don't want to take the moment away from my son.
Speaker 5: I be in a bat away, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 5: Like I'd be in a bat chairing like a motherfucker.
Speaker 5: I just I just don't want to be that parent
Speaker 5: that's all out in the mix, like this is my son.
Speaker 3: Right, you know what I'm like.
Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: You know, he told me to stop and be like, okay,
Speaker 3: which just chill.
Speaker 5: I'll have a sign though. It's funny. And then so
Speaker 5: now you're like my son being older, he doesn't like
Speaker 5: me coming to a school and ship and.
Speaker 3: That because he's older. I'm not ready for that.
Speaker 5: No, yes, that, but but like girls, Yeah, I was
Speaker 5: gonna ask you.
Speaker 3: About that because I feel like girls like what he
Speaker 3: doesn't want.
Speaker 5: You to know the girl he likes. No, he doesn't
Speaker 5: want them to talk to him about his father. So
Speaker 5: I'll show up on campus and he looks.
Speaker 4: Good, like they like, damn, that's no girls day.
Speaker 3: Because you're so handsome and you are you look young?
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah yeah, He's like like I got it because
Speaker 5: I'll show up on campus and they'll see me no text.
Speaker 5: I'm like, oh, daddy here. He gets really mad.
Speaker 3: Oh no, He's like, dad, just pull around the corner.
Speaker 5: He's like, yeah, he really does.
Speaker 4: Like you know what, thinking back, there were some dads
Speaker 4: when I was a little girl, but I was like, who's.
Speaker 5: That was my dad?
Speaker 3: I'm sure yeah.
Speaker 5: My father was like, oh, oh your daddy here, it's
Speaker 5: not your daddy. So he doesn't he doesn't like.
Speaker 3: Me to you chill in the car. Okay, like older
Speaker 3: guys high school hose love and older man, sit your ass.
Speaker 5: In the car if I go to his games, assumption
Speaker 5: I got to sit up top, like I can't wear
Speaker 5: a hat. I like to be close, like I like.
Speaker 3: Son, they're letting him shame. You live your best life?
Speaker 1: Tell me then, all the single moms at the school
Speaker 1: with my number, Oh.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what's been your experience with that? Have you had
Speaker 4: like single moms like like throughout your education and like
Speaker 4: oh yeah, and as a dad and as a teacher.
Speaker 4: I mean, I know you guys, he lives in Vegas,
Speaker 4: but like, have you encountered like the single mom, because
Speaker 4: you know, a single mom's there's always a reputation that
Speaker 4: we like I were thirsty.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we're just not safe. It's not safe.
Speaker 3: You know what that is? Like an unspoken single mom.
Speaker 3: Everyone feels that way.
Speaker 1: But it's definitely stereotype, like don't bring the single mom
Speaker 1: to the married party.
Speaker 3: Is it? Do you think we made it that it real?
Speaker 5: No, I think it is.
Speaker 4: I don't think it's that deep. But I think there
Speaker 4: are people that think about her. Maybe don't trust you.
Speaker 1: I've heard I've heard Mary will say they should not
Speaker 1: have single friends, which I think is very strung.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I've never been married. How has it been being
Speaker 5: an educator?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, even in the school, like being a teacher. Yeah,
Speaker 3: have you had any affairs with.
Speaker 5: Science teacher?
Speaker 3: Okay, you can tell us excited we got tell us
Speaker 3: school district stories.
Speaker 1: It's happening in the faculty janitor's room.
Speaker 3: We watched way too.
Speaker 5: That sounds like I typically don't mix business with plus
Speaker 5: what I knew it. So at one point when I
Speaker 5: said I never really moved back, I moved back home
Speaker 5: to Vegas for a short period of time, and that's
Speaker 5: when I first got into teaching. I was teaching algib
Speaker 5: be full time and then I taught English after that.
Speaker 5: My first year teaching algebra, I had a mom walk
Speaker 5: into my classroom. It was fifth hour, walk into my
Speaker 5: classroom and she was like, oh, I came to check
Speaker 5: on my daughter. And I was like, I mean, okay, yeah,
Speaker 5: I'm telling you no, but like in my head, I'm
Speaker 5: thinking your daughter makes straight a's and maybe you just
Speaker 5: jumping in on her classroom is the reason why. But
Speaker 5: I didn't quit.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh it was her daughter, like time mom.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like her daughter looked at her. He was confused too,
Speaker 5: like I'm like, well, she's sitting down to my daughter.
Speaker 5: She was like what are you And so, you know,
Speaker 5: they chopped it up for a quick seconds. She's like, well,
Speaker 5: if you ever have any problems, and she gave me
Speaker 5: your dress, like I live at I forgot the address.
Speaker 3: She's like, I live remember my address.
Speaker 5: The address which is like right literally right down the
Speaker 5: street from the school.
Speaker 3: She's ever from her straight up.
Speaker 5: Please don't like no number, Like, please don't hesitate because
Speaker 5: I lived down the street from the school. And I'm like,
Speaker 5: she wear.
Speaker 3: Like an extra sexy summer dress.
Speaker 5: And she had a son, Catok. And I was at
Speaker 5: a club one time. And I was at the club
Speaker 5: one time. Man, she wasn't a student in my class.
Speaker 5: She was a student at the school, and uh, I
Speaker 5: don't know how word got around, but anyway, I was
Speaker 5: at the club my boys or whatnot, and I'm walking
Speaker 5: and she has an older sister that is around my
Speaker 5: age and her mother. They were all at the club together,
Speaker 5: and the sister and the mama, the older sister. So
Speaker 5: the student that I was at my school, she has
Speaker 5: an older sister. So I was walking through and all
Speaker 5: of a sudden, two little ladies jump right in front
Speaker 5: of me, mister Williams.
Speaker 3: And I was like, double fist drinks.
Speaker 5: I definitely had some hitty in my They're like, mister
Speaker 5: Willis and I'm like, yeah, what's up? And they did
Speaker 5: start asking me questions, but they would answer like one
Speaker 5: would answer the question, the other just asked.
Speaker 3: And it was so you weren't saying.
Speaker 5: I didn't really get a chance to. It was like,
Speaker 5: oh you teach at all?
Speaker 3: My daughter?
Speaker 5: U okay, all right, so what's up? And so the
Speaker 5: daughter pressed the issue extremely hard, and the mom called
Speaker 5: an attitude, So like, daughter pressed my issue with the
Speaker 5: are so like we're chopping enough with it. I'm faded
Speaker 5: at the times. I'm definitely just having a good time.
Speaker 5: So she pressed my issue like tough, so you know,
Speaker 5: exchange numbers. You know, I say bye to the mom.
Speaker 5: The mom gives me an all attitude.
Speaker 3: This is not the same mom who gave you her address.
Speaker 5: No, she gives me all attitude. To be clear, and
Speaker 5: I'm not trying to tell nobody business, so I can.
Speaker 3: We don't know that mom.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but they might listen. They followed me on social media,
Speaker 5: so like the whole family, they love, they love.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 5: I don't know if I'm not gonna give super specific,
Speaker 5: but anyway.
Speaker 3: We don't know.
Speaker 5: Sometimes it was by me and a daughter hang out dude,
Speaker 5: due the mom and a daughter get in an argument.
Speaker 3: So is the mama jealous?
Speaker 5: She's coming to sort of coming to l A. And
Speaker 5: then she calls me like, hey, we're coming to LA
Speaker 5: coming with us for something to eat, And I'm like, God,
Speaker 5: for sure, just let me know when you get in,
Speaker 5: I'll link up with y'all. Boom. I get a call
Speaker 5: a couple hours later, she's like, Yo, me and mom
Speaker 5: just gotten to it. I was like, damn, what happened.
Speaker 5: I don't know what happened. She's like, apparently she's jealous
Speaker 5: that I jumped on you before she did, and I
Speaker 5: was like, well, you know all.
Speaker 3: I could think about his best picture as a parent,
Speaker 3: and I.
Speaker 5: Just really now in my head, I'm feeling myself right
Speaker 5: at the same time, I was like, it's cool and
Speaker 5: it's also weird.
Speaker 6: That's kind of incredible, incredible, kind of like my poor
Speaker 6: and dream country, kind of like I knew this moment.
Speaker 3: Last night on you.
Speaker 5: I got some stories, man, I can't you know. I
Speaker 5: know your audience's moms. Are you kidding?
Speaker 3: I got some stories our moms or not your mom
Speaker 3: next door?
Speaker 5: No. One of my classrooms, I had a prep and
Speaker 5: prep was like it was block scheduling. She was like
Speaker 5: eighty minutes and am on a woman that I knew,
Speaker 5: though I knew her, she had got off for girls.
Speaker 5: She had a job, and if you came by my
Speaker 5: class like I'm stop by, I was.
Speaker 3: Like her student goes to your school. No, she was
Speaker 3: just gonna come swing by works.
Speaker 5: Because I was training too, and I was training, and
Speaker 5: she would become in the groups that I was training.
Speaker 5: Sometimes she's like I'm gonna stop by. She was happy
Speaker 5: she got the job that she interview before. I was like,
Speaker 5: you know, I'm at.
Speaker 3: Work right so we can't really celebrate it NOWT.
Speaker 5: Like, yeah, I'm grading papers and ship. This is when
Speaker 5: I was teaching English. I was greating papers like I'm
Speaker 5: just stop by, like all right, cool. So I'm in
Speaker 5: my class and when I'm on prep, I want nobody
Speaker 5: in my room. I turn off like half the lights,
Speaker 5: locked the doors, like, you know, no disturbances, like I
Speaker 5: like my piece. And so she can't buy a boom?
Speaker 3: What's on prep like for the next class?
Speaker 5: So you know you have essentially you teach five class
Speaker 5: and you have six hour off because by the law
Speaker 5: you have to have one right, So normally it's a
Speaker 5: prep he.
Speaker 3: Alone time, yes and.
Speaker 5: So, And I'm grading papers, not really paying her no mind.
Speaker 5: I'm like small talk though, how's the job and if
Speaker 5: you're going, how to go whatever. But I'm greating papers,
Speaker 5: not paying her no mind. And all of a sudden,
Speaker 5: she sits on my desk. No pennies on, Yeah, panties on.
Speaker 5: I'm looking right, so my desk details, so my desk
Speaker 5: as I'm sitting at my teacher's desk, you know, the
Speaker 5: student's desk right there, So she said an then she
Speaker 5: got up from that desk and set on my papers
Speaker 5: that I'm great, So that's how I saw.
Speaker 1: Wait, okay, I have a question. How'd you guys have
Speaker 1: slept together prior to this point?
Speaker 3: Oh? Okay, she was feeling she got the job. She
Speaker 3: said she had the signs that they were there that
Speaker 3: this could go down.
Speaker 5: No woman's doing that women do.
Speaker 3: If there's not any that's a pretty both shot at
Speaker 3: your job on your fifth hour.
Speaker 5: I don't know. Maybe, I mean I don't I'm not
Speaker 5: a woman, so I don't know the like, I don't.
Speaker 3: Know what happened.
Speaker 5: Did you do it or not? Of course I did. Yeah,
Speaker 5: of course I'm gonna do Like I'm gonna turn that
Speaker 5: down at school.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's horry. Ever, I'm gonna turn it at school.
Speaker 5: Cool.
Speaker 3: I mean I would do it too.
Speaker 5: Like, I have one question. Did any videotape?
Speaker 3: That's your question? Really, I want to see that.
Speaker 5: This was years ago. The phone wasn't uh visual, when
Speaker 5: you couldn't film movies on phones. This is a while back.
Speaker 5: But yet, of course, did you.
Speaker 3: Guys like start dating after that?
Speaker 2: Or like?
Speaker 3: Was there any other classrooms set?
Speaker 5: You have to be really quiet.
Speaker 3: Did you put a hand or her mouth? Is there
Speaker 3: a little window those little like could anyone who walked in,
Speaker 3: like did you have to go on the back in
Speaker 3: the corner because of the window.
Speaker 5: You could have knocked on my door, but my doors
Speaker 5: a lot, but you definitely could see oh bold, I'm
Speaker 5: not turning that down, not that, not that partectly. I
Speaker 5: mean you can't.
Speaker 3: I really feel like you can't be a teacher and
Speaker 3: not embark on that journey.
Speaker 5: You kind of have to.
Speaker 3: I feel like that's definitely.
Speaker 5: How you feel like you got at least Christian men.
Speaker 4: And women together and then place consistently someone's fucking I.
Speaker 3: Think specific teachers.
Speaker 5: I don't mess with me, but I'm just saying.
Speaker 3: But well, yeah, because that's like you can't working.
Speaker 5: Plus I don't I don't make this working pluss, but
Speaker 5: people do. People do it all the time. I personally
Speaker 5: just don't mix business in any workplace, Like I don't
Speaker 5: mess with models and ship like I do not mix
Speaker 5: business with pleas. I try. One just wasn't for me.
Speaker 5: I don't need the business of question actresses, none of
Speaker 5: that ship.
Speaker 3: I generally don't like this mixing business.
Speaker 5: They're beautiful. Bird is fun, but not for me, rather not.
Speaker 5: But yeah, no, no, we didn't record that I was
Speaker 5: in the moment that the last thing I was thinking
Speaker 5: about was grabbing my phone.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, little boldie. Yeah that's hot. Now, yeah,
Speaker 3: I think that's a good idea.
Speaker 5: What what was the funny thing?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 3: Just thinking about classroom sex?
Speaker 5: Like I'll talk about being a teacher, and then sometimes
Speaker 5: I get like I've been asked a few times about
Speaker 5: the girls. I'm like, are you kidding?
Speaker 8: No?
Speaker 5: Who some guys?
Speaker 3: Some guys those friends off there.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I didn't say there were my friends. I'm saying
Speaker 5: in conversation, like, y's rape.
Speaker 3: Save the house? Just because of that?
Speaker 5: What Now, I'm just a sub substitute teacher, so okay,
Speaker 5: But when I.
Speaker 3: Was tenured, wit, Wait, what what grade do you subs
Speaker 3: to teach them? Is there a certain just whatever?
Speaker 5: Like so what l A U. S D. I just
Speaker 5: do secondary so six through twelve, and I'm also went
Speaker 5: down and unified so I can do K through twelve.
Speaker 5: I tried to just do high school.
Speaker 4: But what are there as? I honestly don't even know
Speaker 4: how that's that's a tute t shirt. How it works,
Speaker 4: like you have to like you specialize in a certain
Speaker 4: that you do mostly.
Speaker 5: English and history, can you do it all?
Speaker 4: You got to know everything, because that's why I could
Speaker 4: never be a teacher because math, I.
Speaker 3: Don't know do English.
Speaker 1: When you said kind of like do you have to
Speaker 1: tell you to? But back to the weird topic at
Speaker 1: hand about.
Speaker 5: You, Or they'll say something like the girls have grown.
Speaker 5: U'm like like, oh my god.
Speaker 3: First of all, I'm you.
Speaker 4: You know, those niggas exist, but when they were those
Speaker 4: at that age at one point, the part is.
Speaker 3: That I was that student.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not that there's any hot teachers at my school,
Speaker 1: but I was definitely fucking guys that are way too
Speaker 1: old to be fucking with me, some of which knew
Speaker 1: how old I was.
Speaker 3: And then my baby's daddy. It's very rapy, it is ray,
Speaker 3: it is right.
Speaker 1: So my baby's daddy, my baby's dead, My baby's dead.
Speaker 3: My baby's daddy was working out, you know, at the job.
Speaker 1: He was working as a coach and for the boys,
Speaker 1: like maybe like a young boy's.
Speaker 5: Team high school.
Speaker 3: No not, this is like that. Yeah, my babydaddy was
Speaker 3: my high school start grown. He started working at a school.
Speaker 1: So one day he was at the gym he had
Speaker 1: to take the girls volleyball team or something back to
Speaker 1: the gym, and he was like, jam like these little
Speaker 1: fucking stores, like what he's like in the cars, just
Speaker 1: like snapchat me that pussy.
Speaker 3: Like you're just saying, you know, like grown shit. And
Speaker 3: have you seen the twelfth graders these days?
Speaker 5: They look older than me, looked like twelve grades. But
Speaker 5: I mean, I'm only able to say this because I
Speaker 5: see them every day.
Speaker 4: Well I think maybe because you also know their mind
Speaker 4: that the body doesn't affect you. But if you just
Speaker 4: look at some of these girls, they look grown. Like
Speaker 4: I just took my brother. My brother just went to prom.
Speaker 3: And she looked like the picture though, yeah, go ahead,
Speaker 3: she did.
Speaker 4: But even me, though low key, I always got to
Speaker 4: approach my older guys because I literally looked.
Speaker 5: Like this because they were.
Speaker 3: No, no, but I was mature. I know you're mature,
Speaker 3: but I was mature too. But that's not any reason
Speaker 3: to be like so it's not no, it's not. But
Speaker 3: I'm just saying that, like.
Speaker 5: It was confusing, but here's my thing, right.
Speaker 10: And then it wouldn't matter after that, but it should,
Speaker 10: but you know, I know, but I'm like, we have
Speaker 10: to be able to have this conversation with Lennen and Iri,
Speaker 10: because I think it's important that they know, like it's
Speaker 10: very rapy.
Speaker 3: It's not about your maturity. It's not about it.
Speaker 5: It's I was just speaking on like the look of
Speaker 5: high school girls when you removed from high school for
Speaker 5: so long, and when you did and then then you
Speaker 5: see one, You're like, oh, they look at like they
Speaker 5: look wrong. But no, as because I've been in education
Speaker 5: so long, you know what I mean, Like they do
Speaker 5: not look they look like they might be developed BodyWise.
Speaker 5: There's kids with full grown beers just still look eighteen.
Speaker 5: I had to go teen in.
Speaker 3: High school, right and probably having one conversation.
Speaker 5: You know what I mean, Like I had a mustache
Speaker 5: in eighth grade. Like I was one of those I
Speaker 5: had this voice in eighth grade, you know what I mean.
Speaker 5: So yeah, I got another story. I had sex with
Speaker 5: my teacher when I was in high school. So I
Speaker 5: was one of those kids you were like all the episodes.
Speaker 5: I was definitely that kid in high school. I definitely
Speaker 5: she was married.
Speaker 3: Wait in twelfth grade or what grade?
Speaker 5: I was a senior?
Speaker 3: Were you where are you this thing?
Speaker 5: This is my thing with her? You were friends on Facebook?
Speaker 5: That's funny it's not the appeal isn't the same. So
Speaker 5: did she seek you out or did you seek herss?
Speaker 3: So this is the thing, see him seeking out his teacher,
Speaker 3: and this is the thing.
Speaker 5: I uh. Ever, since my freshman year, she would say
Speaker 5: little shit and my immature mind wasn't picking up on
Speaker 5: the cues. It would be shiped like she wasn't. I
Speaker 5: never had her for in a class, like she wasn't
Speaker 5: my specific teachers, the teacher at my school, I've never
Speaker 5: had her for a class. But you know, walking around campus,
Speaker 5: I would walk by the room or walk by her
Speaker 5: and she would say dumb shit like you know me, me,
Speaker 5: we got b for some shit like me me in
Speaker 5: my class after school. And she did actually curriculas you
Speaker 5: know after school as well, like fashion clubs.
Speaker 8: She like that.
Speaker 5: She'd like, you know, comes to the class after school
Speaker 5: and I'd be like, hah, I keep walking. I never
Speaker 5: picked up on it until she started throwing parties at
Speaker 5: her house for the students. Yeah, so one of my
Speaker 5: classmates that one of my classmates ended up moving in
Speaker 5: with her. She was because she was damn the orphaned,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean. So she ended up living
Speaker 5: with her and then you know the years she started
Speaker 5: throwing these functions and ship cooking all the food, liquor, drinks, weed.
Speaker 5: It was like TV, to be honest with you, And
Speaker 5: it was then I was like, oh damn, what is this?
Speaker 5: How I was gonna go down? No, I'm talking about
Speaker 5: As I went to one of the functions, you realized
Speaker 5: is it a lotas everywhere I knew she was committed to,
Speaker 5: I saw it a lot of this ship, you know,
Speaker 5: chips and sausa, It was liquor everywhere. She was rolling
Speaker 5: weed around? Like, what the fuck is going on?
Speaker 3: How old did you say she was?
Speaker 5: She was twenty nine? Oh wow, married two kids?
Speaker 3: Do you where was her husband and two kids?
Speaker 5: I don't know where the hell? Do I look like?
Speaker 5: I was worried you were? Do you consider that statutory? Yes?
Speaker 5: I do? Do you think legally?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 2: Do you?
Speaker 3: What do you think about your mental state?
Speaker 8: Then?
Speaker 3: Like, do you think that you're old enough to make
Speaker 3: that decision? Or you were manipulated and taking advance?
Speaker 5: I was. I did not feel manipulator. I was a
Speaker 5: willing participant, Like I did not feel like she took
Speaker 5: advantage of me. I was like more than happy too.
Speaker 3: But do you think thinking now that you're an adult.
Speaker 5: Oh, it's statutory, right, yes, do you see?
Speaker 3: But I'm wondering what his mindset was because we didn't
Speaker 3: think it was. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5: This is a teacher for me.
Speaker 4: This is that for me when I was taking up
Speaker 4: with an older guy, I was like, thought I was
Speaker 4: cooler of cour I could do things that my friends
Speaker 4: weren't doing.
Speaker 3: But but then when you.
Speaker 1: Look back at it, do you see how like like
Speaker 1: with alcohol and a sixteen year old girl involved, Like
Speaker 1: it's like.
Speaker 5: See, I wasn't drinking, so it wasn't like I was drunk,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean? Like I was a drinking
Speaker 5: I was sober as the motherfucker. And this didn't even
Speaker 5: happen at.
Speaker 3: The part she text me and you came to that.
Speaker 5: On a random school night and you went of course,
Speaker 5: of course random school night. I had just got myself.
Speaker 5: I just got it.
Speaker 4: How old we even watched Your Virginity fourteen by some
Speaker 4: of the same age.
Speaker 5: Yes, I had just got my phone and my boy
Speaker 5: gave her my number because he was talking to the
Speaker 5: classmate that was living with it. And I got the
Speaker 5: text from her and she told me a real. I
Speaker 5: didn't even know a real name until she texted me. Yeah.
Speaker 5: I used to just call her by her name. O
Speaker 5: my god, and she gave me your first name and
Speaker 5: I was like, I only know who the fuck is this?
Speaker 5: And then she's like missus. I was like, oh, oh, okay,
Speaker 5: Now what's up. She's like, I was eating. This was
Speaker 5: the school night. I was eating with some friends eating.
Speaker 5: She's like, what you're doing. I was like, I'm eating
Speaker 5: right now, what's up? What you're doing? Afterwards? I'm going home.
Speaker 5: I got school in the morning. Like, I'm going home.
Speaker 3: I'm going you know what.
Speaker 5: She's like, man, my husband's gonna come over.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 3: And then she just came in and got right to it.
Speaker 3: There was not much conversation.
Speaker 5: She's like, let me know when you're done eating. How
Speaker 5: buy shower? Gave me the address? Like okay, She's like yeah,
Speaker 5: I stopped eating and left. This was late. Like I
Speaker 5: literally was like, listen, I got I'm not waiting on this.
Speaker 5: I'm not waiting on this. I stopped the meal. I
Speaker 5: stopped my meal, paid my ship dipped, like I gotta go.
Speaker 3: English teacher is calling.
Speaker 5: I left. I left. I didn't even finish eating and
Speaker 5: he was like, where are you going?
Speaker 3: You didn't tell anybody that.
Speaker 5: I told my father that morning.
Speaker 3: About the teacher.
Speaker 5: He knew, he knew it was a teacher. I got
Speaker 5: home about five, but.
Speaker 3: He knew it was the teacher.
Speaker 5: Can tell the stora give it to you. I got
Speaker 5: home and had to be like five. My dad wakes
Speaker 5: up about five. Ye that's about five something, you know,
Speaker 5: does his thing before he goes to work. And he
Speaker 5: was like, nigga, what the fun was you? I couldn't wait.
Speaker 5: You're not gonna beleave this. I'm home at five because
Speaker 5: I was at and I said the name and he
Speaker 5: was like, who the fuck is that? I was like,
Speaker 5: you know teacher at DP. You said, get the funk
Speaker 5: out of here. The smilest like.
Speaker 4: Dad's the difference between dad's and sons and will whoop
Speaker 4: my kids?
Speaker 5: I said, pop? He said, bullsters, You're not even was like,
Speaker 5: that's my boy. Gave me some pound and he's like,
Speaker 5: just make sure you get your ass to school on time.
Speaker 5: I started school late. I had. I didn't have first
Speaker 5: or second hours talking about this.
Speaker 3: What would you tell your son? What would you what
Speaker 3: would you tell your son right now?
Speaker 5: Next year?
Speaker 1: What would you tell your son if you came home
Speaker 1: at five in the morning with this story the teacher
Speaker 1: to the club kid?
Speaker 5: Shut up, shut up. Welcome to the club kid.
Speaker 3: This needs to be talking about.
Speaker 5: I'm talk to her, though. We would have to have
Speaker 5: no not no, no, she like that. We would have
Speaker 5: to have a conversation like, Yo, you know my son's
Speaker 5: going to raise all that shit, but not double standard.
Speaker 5: Call it what you want, toxic masculinity, call it what
Speaker 5: you want. I'm gonna have to admit this one. I'm
Speaker 5: gonna have to pound my son up, like, Yo, welcome
Speaker 5: to the club, k. It was good.
Speaker 7: What if your daughter came home and slipped through the
Speaker 7: same motherfucking story twelfth grade?
Speaker 5: This is the ship, right, I just said stuff double standard? Right.
Speaker 5: I am not going to be angry at her. I
Speaker 5: am going to do my best not to chastise her
Speaker 5: or make her feel less than her belittler. No, I'm
Speaker 5: going to kill him though, That's what I thought I
Speaker 5: was waiting. No, No, he's going to he's going to
Speaker 5: see me a sap. I was waiting for that, but
Speaker 5: for my daughter.
Speaker 3: No, why is that different though? Like, why is it
Speaker 3: is it more?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 5: I'm going to kill him, but I'm not going to
Speaker 5: tell her the teacher that did it.
Speaker 3: But that's something. But there's a little part of you
Speaker 3: that was going to kill him.
Speaker 4: But you're all still going to laugh because you're kind
Speaker 4: of but where's with your daughter?
Speaker 3: You wouldn't you haven't.
Speaker 5: I'm not going to kill the lady teacher, no, because
Speaker 5: I don't women.
Speaker 3: She's going to see if your daughter did it.
Speaker 5: My daughter didn't know, he's got to die or if
Speaker 5: she has to die.
Speaker 4: It's straight anger if your daughter did it, But if
Speaker 4: your son did it, it's anger, but also kind of
Speaker 4: like huh the block.
Speaker 3: But it's even more crazy, well.
Speaker 5: Again from my daughter once again.
Speaker 3: But I'm just that's so crazy to me, Like why
Speaker 3: is that?
Speaker 5: But I also know the patriarchy in this as well,
Speaker 5: like all that plays into it for.
Speaker 3: Me, I know, but it's so interesting.
Speaker 5: It's such a manipula thing.
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that women are dedicating time and
Speaker 1: work and dismantling.
Speaker 3: And in this other way. It's such a devil.
Speaker 5: Fucking it is it is. I didn't make that.
Speaker 3: Are you open to changing my perspective?
Speaker 5: I mean, do you.
Speaker 3: Do you see the problem definitely it's problem.
Speaker 5: Of course, I'm not senior saying like it's not. I
Speaker 5: see all the I see it. I see the problem
Speaker 5: with me. I see the problems. I know it's double standard.
Speaker 5: I know it was talking of my sculinity. I know
Speaker 5: all of that. I get it.
Speaker 3: I told you the words're human socialized.
Speaker 5: I'm socialized. I'm still unlearning a lot of things. That's
Speaker 5: still rape, that's still statutory rape. What happened to me.
Speaker 5: I was a willing participant. I was more than happy
Speaker 5: to I could not wait.
Speaker 4: To do it, like I do not feel like, no, yeah,
Speaker 4: I don't feel like a victim personally, I personally do not.
Speaker 4: You feel like it was her responsibility to do that
Speaker 4: in yours to not.
Speaker 5: Basically, you're not supposed to fuck your students period, right right? No,
Speaker 5: like at all? Let alone, you're a minimum a decade
Speaker 5: older than me, you know what I'm saying. But again,
Speaker 5: well that's the.
Speaker 3: Fucking party, Okay, not that.
Speaker 1: But the truth is the crazy thing is it's like,
Speaker 1: at thirty eight, I could definitely date somebody forty, you know.
Speaker 5: Like, but thirty twenty is.
Speaker 3: The biggest different, huge I was thinking about.
Speaker 5: That they need somebody forty have thirty different.
Speaker 4: The tools that we made our age because they are rules.
Speaker 4: Someone made up these rules and we're like, okay, they
Speaker 4: did not and I'm not saying that they are They're
Speaker 4: not needed, but I'm just saying that at the end
Speaker 4: of the day, just like anything else.
Speaker 3: That's actually that's also social socialized.
Speaker 5: We don't need people having sex with babies.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like that's crazy because then someone would argue that
Speaker 4: we are all human and people were trying to argue that,
Speaker 4: which is even.
Speaker 5: We're trying to put pedophilia on the LBGT, which is
Speaker 5: so disrespectful to the LGBT. It's a small group, but
Speaker 5: it's a group. Nonetheless, what.
Speaker 1: They vacation made Okay, this is like their favorite play
Speaker 1: vacation because mind.
Speaker 5: You'll follow the page. Yes we took the y know,
Speaker 5: but you guys vacation we did without the dogs.
Speaker 7: We took them to Mexico twice, like once the Rosavita
Speaker 7: we drove and once to the cup I wait no,
Speaker 7: I mean Lahana Luda told me the other night, I
Speaker 7: want to go to I want to go to that
Speaker 7: that that Mexico mom.
Speaker 5: Yeah no, no.
Speaker 3: The second like like this one, I was a cop.
Speaker 3: She's like, yeah, this not the one drug I want
Speaker 3: to be.
Speaker 5: You have to fly. Yeah, Like I said, if it
Speaker 5: was my daughter, I would kill him, And if it
Speaker 5: was my son, I wouldn't kill her because I don't
Speaker 5: hate women, but she definitely would have to see me
Speaker 5: because I know it's satutory right. So although I would
Speaker 5: give him the welcome to the club, I would not
Speaker 5: negatively respond to my daughter in that way, but I
Speaker 5: would definitely let her know like this is statutory right.
Speaker 5: There's no reason why a grown ass man she'd be
Speaker 5: praying on you. But even before that, I'm already on
Speaker 5: it for my son too, Like I'm already on it.
Speaker 5: I'm already about to have a conversation.
Speaker 4: I think you know, I message you as as an
Speaker 4: under eighteen person, Like say your parents found out you
Speaker 4: were sleeping with a twenty nine year old man and
Speaker 4: they said, Jamila, that's statutory rape.
Speaker 3: Like effect, would it a chain? Is your mind? Or
Speaker 3: was you even like shut shut up? Yeah?
Speaker 10: First of all, I thought I was lying and I'm
Speaker 10: being and getting dropped off and doing all types of
Speaker 10: function to go be like Katana, I was like so
Speaker 10: dumb and young.
Speaker 3: So I doubt I.
Speaker 5: Was a club in too.
Speaker 1: I was like I was driving at fourteen, Like I
Speaker 1: wasn't like yeah did nanda car? Were like sixteen going
Speaker 1: at berries and like just being dumb and getting drunk
Speaker 1: and blacked out and shit.
Speaker 10: So I mean, I'm sure there were comments like that, But.
Speaker 3: At the same time, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Somehow I was still getting picked up by like thirty
Speaker 1: year old guys in front of my house like okay, bye,
Speaker 1: and like why is someone in the range over picking
Speaker 1: up your high school student and was noticing?
Speaker 5: Yeah, we I grew up in a very open household,
Speaker 5: so sex was never taboo in my house. Really, yeah,
Speaker 5: not at all. My parents were very, very old with sex.
Speaker 5: They wanted to know, they wanted to know what their
Speaker 5: kids were doing and not make it weird, and they didn't.
Speaker 5: They never made it weird. They never made a taboo.
Speaker 5: Do you have my sisters?
Speaker 3: So even with them.
Speaker 5: They were always very open, which for me was great.
Speaker 5: It was it was amazing to have that kind of
Speaker 5: open dialogue on my parents. With that being said, sometimes
Speaker 5: you can be too open and so even just me
Speaker 5: being like having going to have sex with a teacher
Speaker 5: or any older woman like my mom's friends, like my
Speaker 5: stepmam's friends used to be like, just tell you to
Speaker 5: come home please, and like, no, Now she would never
Speaker 5: tell me. She would tell me after the fact because
Speaker 5: my stepmam was like, leave my son alone, you know,
Speaker 5: and they would say it in jest. But my you know,
Speaker 5: step mom will still be like leave my son alone
Speaker 5: type of thing, you know what I mean, but still
Speaker 5: like she would let me know, like you know, I
Speaker 5: won't say the name, and.
Speaker 3: So said, can you imagine haven't because I.
Speaker 1: Can't imagine having a son getting older it was still
Speaker 1: gonna look good, you know, maybe it'll be fifty. And
Speaker 1: then they have like a twenty year old homie that
Speaker 1: like looks good, can you Because I have a homeboy
Speaker 1: who told me he's fucked two of his homeboys moms.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, you know, after eighteen shickens. So it
Speaker 3: gets the first slope.
Speaker 5: About that homegirls moms.
Speaker 3: Oh, so you talk about your homegirls moms. J you
Speaker 3: know you're quiet, but you got to.
Speaker 4: Know he's an a the story ship. He's really laid back.
Speaker 4: You want some more whiskey.
Speaker 5: From Las Vegas, from the City of Sin It's different.
Speaker 3: Did you tell your homegirl, you slept with her mom?
Speaker 8: Her?
Speaker 3: What? What did you just step talking to you? Guys?
Speaker 3: Have you seen her mom with her?
Speaker 8: Like?
Speaker 5: What does it even work?
Speaker 4: Fun?
Speaker 8: Up?
Speaker 5: All of you? Have you had sex with her too?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 5: No, oh my god, have you No? Not that one?
Speaker 3: Oh, not that beautiful, beautiful mermaid.
Speaker 5: You really don't want this. I'll take it.
Speaker 3: Well, this is a lot to taken.
Speaker 5: I've lived a very fun you know.
Speaker 3: I'm happy you're here. You you your brand aligns perfectly
Speaker 3: with ours.
Speaker 1: We believe in fun, and we believe in vulnerability and
Speaker 1: being transparent and putting it on the internet.
Speaker 3: It's also our therapy.
Speaker 5: That's why we're here a Twitter at the times. It's
Speaker 5: not like I've tweeted these things, you know, I don't
Speaker 5: know how to Twitter. Twitter is to me the best
Speaker 5: that on the planet.
Speaker 3: I really I don't like Twitter.
Speaker 5: I love Twitter.
Speaker 3: I've never I've never gotten on Twitter.
Speaker 5: I've got on Twitter for like a day, and.
Speaker 3: It does make me feel like I don't know who's
Speaker 3: can hear this?
Speaker 5: Because for me, like I said, i've tweeted these stories before.
Speaker 3: I need to see image. I know what you can,
Speaker 3: but it's not the same.
Speaker 5: I don't really care. But I'm also more into the conversation.
Speaker 5: I'm also more into how you think of what you're saying.
Speaker 5: The pictures are just pictures of ship to me, like
Speaker 5: all right, I'm a double tap and keep moving like that.
Speaker 5: She doesn't move me like that.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 1: It's like almost like when you see a really beautiful
Speaker 1: Instagram person all the time, like fuck, that girl is
Speaker 1: so beautiful and then she does one video like oh no,
Speaker 1: don't talk.
Speaker 5: I know, I don't know. I don't go there. This
Speaker 5: is educated at me too, though, so I'm always like,
Speaker 5: you're so this is like you know, just don't get
Speaker 5: me wrong, I'd be like, yo, I will never would
Speaker 5: never talk to this one. Proud what I'm always thinking, like, man,
Speaker 5: who was your teachers growing up? Because that's just trash. True,
Speaker 5: That's that's just my thinking.
Speaker 3: Secrets to tell.
Speaker 5: These are just coming back.
Speaker 4: And yeah, we have the segment on our show called
Speaker 4: Horror Stories that we do and we didn't even tell you,
Speaker 4: but you basically already told us story.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're gonna have.
Speaker 4: To insert the sound clip, but like so it's to
Speaker 4: be like something like really terrifying or.
Speaker 5: Bad or like on horror stories at all horror horror
Speaker 5: emphasis on.
Speaker 4: Horror stories that are either like scary or crazy.
Speaker 3: High horsh levels.
Speaker 4: Give you yeah, yeah, you did, Yeah, because what I'm saying,
Speaker 4: you've already like given us our bory.
Speaker 3: We didn't even have to ask.
Speaker 5: These aren't the secrets. I've talked about it secrets, but
Speaker 5: you know things like you know, the's have been tweeted
Speaker 5: about that our ladies would like to hear about ladies.
Speaker 4: Now they have fantasies and classroom you know, panties on
Speaker 4: the desk.
Speaker 5: Man, I had a student leave panties on my door?
Speaker 3: Oh what did you have? Do you have to talk
Speaker 3: with every period? Like, listen, whoever did this, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: kill you.
Speaker 5: No. I took a pencil, picked it up, put it
Speaker 5: in the bag, took it to the principal's office. Yeah,
Speaker 5: I've had I've had numbers on my car. I've had
Speaker 5: a girl I coached as well, and so my athletes
Speaker 5: have my number. I've had girls get my number from
Speaker 5: my athletes and text me and ship. I've had I'm.
Speaker 3: Going to have to do. Do you deal with that?
Speaker 5: Do you have to report it or do you.
Speaker 3: Or do you ever address it? Like, listen up, class.
Speaker 5: Address it, number handies on the desk.
Speaker 3: Yeah, That's what I'm saying. And then how do we
Speaker 3: address it? Because the hormones.
Speaker 1: I think it's the hormone levels, you discovering your vagina.
Speaker 5: It's just so I address it, and it's for me.
Speaker 5: It's an awkward conversation because I don't want to to
Speaker 5: encourage it more not that is just I don't I
Speaker 5: don't feel like the hot teacher. Like I don't feel
Speaker 5: like the hot teacher. I'm dismissed, Webb, like come in,
Speaker 5: I do my thing and go to home. So I
Speaker 5: don't feel like the hot dude on whatever. Like so
Speaker 5: even me saying like, hey, do not leave your numbers
Speaker 5: on my desk. So it's like weird to even say that,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: I don't want I don't want to to keep it.
Speaker 5: Moving, Yeah, like just keep it moving.
Speaker 1: Do you ever go into like the teacher's lunge and like, dude,
Speaker 1: are you getting numbers on the cartoon?
Speaker 5: And honestly got true. I a good buddy of mine.
Speaker 5: I call him jay Z's name is Joey Joey Zimmerman,
Speaker 5: handsome white man. Women loved him he got panties on
Speaker 5: his door. So we would sit at lunch and be like, dude,
Speaker 5: like I need to see jay.
Speaker 3: Z getting really pants. I don't remember panties on the door.
Speaker 3: Have teachers.
Speaker 5: It was like, I wouldn't do that.
Speaker 3: No, I feel like it's getting out of hand. This
Speaker 3: is like music videos Instagram, Instagram.
Speaker 1: That hor harshness is being more celebrated, and so the.
Speaker 3: Small teenage students are like, fuck it, shoot my shot.
Speaker 5: We used to sit at uh. We used to sit
Speaker 5: at lunch or sometimes. And jay Z is one of
Speaker 5: my really close friends to this day. He moved to Chicago.
Speaker 5: Now you know he's teaching and coaching out there as well,
Speaker 5: but you know we used to sit at lunch and
Speaker 5: and and all that. Then another friend of mine that
Speaker 5: I grew up with, Kenson, he's actually one of the alumni.
Speaker 5: He has a he did a video for Cannot Be Vulnerable.
Speaker 5: He was a sub. He was subbing at the high school.
Speaker 5: Were all that Haitian man. You know, I love him
Speaker 5: as well, and the vice principal was at him more
Speaker 5: than anything, but like he got.
Speaker 3: Vice principal was trying to get him.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, she sent me news to my phone one
Speaker 5: time in the middle of class and then had and
Speaker 5: then in her office.
Speaker 3: Yeah I need to know where she was. And then
Speaker 3: you know, the school system made to say and.
Speaker 5: They had the hall monitor call me like on the
Speaker 5: class proem and say yo, B no no no, no,
Speaker 5: like B. Miss so and so said, did you get
Speaker 5: the pictures?
Speaker 3: Oh? My god? Oh he didn't even know what he
Speaker 3: was asking, not at all. What did you say?
Speaker 5: Yeah? I just said, yeah, I got him. You're being harassed,
Speaker 5: do you know that?
Speaker 3: Dude?
Speaker 5: Hr? Yeah, you're actually you're being sexually harried.
Speaker 3: This might be a case for you.
Speaker 5: This isn't mean to moment it was, but it wasn't.
Speaker 3: It didn't feel like and she also or do you
Speaker 3: enjoy it?
Speaker 5: Do you enjoy it?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: But she did enjoy the attention.
Speaker 1: A little bit.
Speaker 3: Does it feel good?
Speaker 5: I mean it's flattering, yeah, But to say like I
Speaker 5: feel like the man because of that.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 5: I don't feel like like the vice principal sent me
Speaker 5: some news. She wasn't even attractive.
Speaker 3: Are you are you currently in a relationship right now?
Speaker 5: I'm single?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 5: Are you on dating apps?
Speaker 3: Have you ever been?
Speaker 5: No? I don't even I really don't do. I don't
Speaker 5: do social media MAC and period. Really, it's very old
Speaker 5: fashioned way. I think, introduced by mutual friends or we're
Speaker 5: just I am out in public. I really do you.
Speaker 4: You don't strike me as the kind of guy to
Speaker 4: like go like, hey, can I get your number?
Speaker 5: It's mostly the girls come to you. Mmmm. It's mixture. Okay,
Speaker 5: it's a balance. I'll go introduce myself. Hi will dance
Speaker 5: whatever we're doing by your dreams very mysterious. But I don't.
Speaker 5: I don't. It's very rare that I that. I actually,
Speaker 5: I don't think I've ever just dove into a random
Speaker 5: women's DMS.
Speaker 4: And you never slid in any woman's didn't and slide
Speaker 4: into Michael.
Speaker 3: Jordan's and then I deleted.
Speaker 5: I was off the top of my head. I can
Speaker 5: honestly say I don't think I've ever just slid in
Speaker 5: a random woman's dam that I didn't know prior or
Speaker 5: I hadn't met before.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, I think that's pretty not Yeah, random slide.
Speaker 5: Is random, like oh maybe Black Planet Days. Okay, planning
Speaker 5: that's young. So yes, Black plan of Days I did,
Speaker 5: but that's what it was there for. My Space, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. No, no, no,
Speaker 5: I've either had to met you at some point or
Speaker 5: we have mutual friends. But I don't dive into random
Speaker 5: women's dams. It's just not me. I just I don't
Speaker 5: like old fashion.
Speaker 3: Do you introduce what many day to your son?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: Have yout he's.
Speaker 5: Met women randomly, but like you have to just if
Speaker 5: we're just out public and you see us. Yeah, but
Speaker 5: I don't just you just don't meet my son. Give
Speaker 5: me and my parents all day. I don't give a
Speaker 5: funk about that's it. It's not special to me. Me,
Speaker 5: my mom, my dad all day. Like, give me my
Speaker 5: parents all day. That doesn't meant that if I formally
Speaker 5: make it a point to introduce you to my son,
Speaker 5: I think you're special and I feel like we're going
Speaker 5: to build something right, even that takes a long.
Speaker 4: Time because they ever developed an attachment to somewhere, I've
Speaker 4: been disappointed.
Speaker 3: Okay, so is that you're why that's your role now?
Speaker 5: Well that was always just been to me. I never
Speaker 5: wanted him to see dad with a bunch of women.
Speaker 5: I've never experienced that.
Speaker 4: I've experienced being a kid, I guess sort of, but yeah,
Speaker 4: to experience that as a parent must be I don't know,
Speaker 4: be awkward, difficult, like like if you were dating someone
Speaker 4: and your kid ended up loving.
Speaker 3: That, I know, loving that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, obligation almost like that's one of the main reasons.
Speaker 5: But I just, you know, never wanted him to see
Speaker 5: dad with like a multiple women. And then when I
Speaker 5: got into relationships and yeah, you're all good ladies.
Speaker 3: Bye later, dance mermaids. Okay, get the dancing.
Speaker 5: This is too cute.
Speaker 3: I love it. Go dance disco.
Speaker 5: Well we should wrap it up anyway.
Speaker 3: Thank you for coming. Yes, thanks for coming and driving
Speaker 3: out to the ballet. Conversation took the strange churn.
Speaker 5: I thought we would be more on the vulnerability.
Speaker 3: No, we should, definitely. I mean I think we did
Speaker 3: it really well, you know, like.
Speaker 5: I think, you know.
Speaker 4: Please let let our listeners know where they can find
Speaker 4: your Instagram, how they can find you.
Speaker 5: So me, my Instagram is DJ Underscore Underscore Williams. Twitter
Speaker 5: is the same thing, and.
Speaker 3: You love Twitter, guys much.
Speaker 5: Cannot be vulnerable. Instagram is just cannot be vulnerable, and
Speaker 5: the links to our YouTube pages is on there, so
Speaker 5: you can go right there. Same thing for Twitter. C
Speaker 5: I B vulnerable. Everything links to everything for that. Like
Speaker 5: I said, it's just a docuseries. We can watch a
Speaker 5: bunch of professional black men talk about their mental health
Speaker 5: and you know, coming of age. There's a bunch of
Speaker 5: stories that hopefully you can relate to. And now we
Speaker 5: got to ride range of shit. Now I think about it.
Speaker 5: We've got dea'd be dad stories. We've got suicide attempts,
Speaker 5: We've got coming out as gay, We've got suicide, I said,
Speaker 5: suicide temps, drug abuse, We've got damn sounds like life, fatherhood,
Speaker 5: like it's just the things that Yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Mean, it's so's there's so many stories.
Speaker 5: We've got some specifics. Like I said, we're on episode.
Speaker 4: Thirty makes it makes you remember, like you know, sometimes
Speaker 4: you can be and you're so wrapped up in your
Speaker 4: own world that it feels like that's the only thing
Speaker 4: that matters.
Speaker 3: Well, there's people out there going through so much.
Speaker 5: Check but yeah, check out the episodes. Man, there's gonna
Speaker 5: be something for everybody.
Speaker 3: Where do you check them out? It on YouTube?
Speaker 5: Yeah, you can go to my Instagram and cannot be vulnerable.
Speaker 5: You'll see like the clips and then there's it's on
Speaker 5: our ig TV. But also in the bio it's YouTube
Speaker 5: every Thursday, so it's hashtag therapy Thursdays, hashtag can and
Speaker 5: be vulnerable And therapy Thursdays came because I was just
Speaker 5: going to therapy on Thursdays. But I was also thinking, like,
Speaker 5: you know, you got tvt you know, to give your
Speaker 5: flashback photos for therapy Thursdays. I just want to, you know,
Speaker 5: an opportunity for people just checking on our mental So
Speaker 5: when you think of TBT, throw your nice little picture
Speaker 5: up and then therapy Thursdays.
Speaker 3: You just how I feeling.
Speaker 5: Yeah, just check in with your mental for therapy Thursday,
Speaker 5: if you don't do it any other day, doing on
Speaker 5: therapy Thursdays.
Speaker 3: Check on your.
Speaker 5: Friends, yeah, check on your friends. So, like I said,
Speaker 5: check out the episodes. There's gonna be something for everybody. Yes,
Speaker 5: it's only black men. We do nobody else, but that
Speaker 5: that's just my community. We don't again, we haven't been
Speaker 5: given permission, we haven't taken the initiative, and there's no
Speaker 5: safe space for us. So check it out. You'll love it.
Speaker 5: You'll cry.
Speaker 3: I don't think well, I love that. Well, thank you
Speaker 3: so much for coming.
Speaker 4: Back having me, and we'll see you guys next week.
Speaker 4: Make sure or to follow us at Good Moms Underscore
Speaker 4: Bad Choices. We have some cool merch on the site,
Speaker 4: so make sure you can check out our new merch
Speaker 4: at our web on our website www dot Goodmom's Bad
Speaker 4: Choices dot com.
Speaker 3: And we'll be in New York and we'll be in
Speaker 3: New York and then at the first week.
Speaker 4: Yes, so hit us up because we're trying to go
Speaker 4: to like hang out with you guys.
Speaker 3: You know, yes, yes, I used to live there, but
Speaker 3: it's been so long, like I don't know what's cool anymore.
Speaker 5: You know, it's always changing to hang out. Years I
Speaker 5: used to stay from.
Speaker 3: This is my first time going to hang out, but
Speaker 3: that's changing for the best, for the better, for the
Speaker 3: better anyway.
Speaker 5: Oh, yes, we will be doing events for everybody, men, women, kids,
Speaker 5: so be on the lookout for that. I got a
Speaker 5: few things in store, event planning and all that stuff.
Speaker 5: So now to get the community involved, the mom's involved,
Speaker 5: we'll be there. Please please be on the lookout. We
Speaker 5: will definitely be doing events.
Speaker 4: Are there with our stage, I come through encouraging people
Speaker 4: to be vulnerable, to have.
Speaker 5: The ladies like I did another podcast and with my
Speaker 5: platform and they talked about one of the hosts his mom.
Speaker 5: Him and his mom were estranged, right, they don't speak much,
Speaker 5: And we were talking about the effects of yah, baby,
Speaker 5: You're talking about the effects of motherhood, the effects of
Speaker 5: growing up with the mons that they had on them.
Speaker 5: And you know, his mom heard it and called him
Speaker 5: for the first time in the year.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 5: And so they are now going to start meeting because
Speaker 5: now he's in a different space now. But he had
Speaker 5: a tragic gest story. Damn that shit had me crying
Speaker 5: on air. But we need the ladies around because you
Speaker 5: guys just have to see men just be open.
Speaker 1: And vulnerable and you don't know what that where that
Speaker 1: leads when you're vulnerable, Wally, you're helping just by being vulnerable,
Speaker 1: by being honest.
Speaker 3: And I think also men need to be able to
Speaker 3: be vulnerable around women too.
Speaker 5: It's good practice for men. But I'm gonna tell you
Speaker 5: this because you need incentive, because I know how we are.
Speaker 5: We need incentives. Listen, fellas opening up and being vulnerable,
Speaker 5: you do not understand how the women respond to it.
Speaker 5: I get d ms all the time about the alumni.
Speaker 5: Is he single? Can I get his number? Listen, you
Speaker 5: open up, you get your little get your issues out,
Speaker 5: be honest with yourself. Love it you love it. It's
Speaker 5: a commercial sensible this is a byproduct. I didn't even
Speaker 5: like when I did. I didn't. I wasn't doing it like, ohhen.
Speaker 3: For the place.
Speaker 1: But what I can say is woman loves a man
Speaker 1: digging through his ship.
Speaker 3: I love. I love a man who said he went
Speaker 3: to therapy.
Speaker 1: Are you.
Speaker 3: We met one of Erica's friends at the sower House.
Speaker 3: You're talking abot high school therapy. I was like, oh
Speaker 3: my god, mental health is so man, so sexy.
Speaker 5: I'm not saying it doing it for the women. I'm
Speaker 5: just saying it's a byproduct of it. You're doing it
Speaker 5: for yourself because you want to be healed, because you
Speaker 5: harboring a whole lot of hurt for no reason.
Speaker 8: But a by product is you know that might be
Speaker 8: a woman or two can relate it or will stamp
Speaker 8: all over your heart, awful heart.
Speaker 5: Alright you guys, Well we'll catch you guys next week.
Speaker 4: Bye, consleutely lit fad away.
Speaker 5: We still fly.
Speaker 2: High crash, So that's why I show you passy.
Speaker 5: No, you can't imagine me something mat.
Speaker 2: Your name is mad.
Speaker 5: We don't have to make