Speaker 1: With the Olympics right around the corner. I think it's
Speaker 1: a huge flex for me to have the Olympian of
Speaker 1: all Olympians sitting in my house, and she just so
Speaker 1: happens to be an original.
Speaker 2: But y'all listen, this is such a thrill for me
Speaker 2: to be here with you. And the Olympics are in
Speaker 2: Paris in less than twenty Baby can wait, they're taking
Speaker 2: ton U pole.
Speaker 1: Baby Wait, here's me and she. Hey, I'm Kadan and
Speaker 1: I'm and we're the Ellis's.
Speaker 3: You may know us from posting funny videos with our
Speaker 3: voice and reading.
Speaker 1: Each other publicly as a form of therpy. Wait. I'll
Speaker 1: make you need derby most days. Wow. Oh, and one
Speaker 1: more important thing to mention. We're married, Yes, sir, we are.
Speaker 3: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of
Speaker 3: Li's most taboo topics.
Speaker 1: Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Speaker 3: The lens of lenieal married couple. Dead ass is a
Speaker 3: term that we say every day. So when we say
Speaker 3: dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred the truth,
Speaker 3: the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We about
Speaker 3: to take Bilotov to our whole new level.
Speaker 1: Dead ass starts right now, All right, story time. So girl,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you about the time when my track
Speaker 1: career began and ended in the same day. Not the
Speaker 1: same day, the same day, this the same day. And
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you what people, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So I was approaching a milestone birthday. I had our
Speaker 1: first son, Jackson. Jackson was roughly about two years old,
Speaker 1: and I was approaching thirty. So, you know, being married
Speaker 1: to which you can relate to an NFL athlete, and
Speaker 1: you know the way they train, and then of course
Speaker 1: you being an Olympian, and I mean, you know what
Speaker 1: it takes to really run. Okay, So I said to
Speaker 1: my husband at the time. He had a mentorship program
Speaker 1: back in Brooklyn and we trained athletes, over five athletes
Speaker 1: in a variety of sports. So we had I mean football, baseball, basketball,
Speaker 1: and then we had track and field. And as I
Speaker 1: approached this thirtieth birthday, I said to de Value, you
Speaker 1: know what, I want to get into the best shape
Speaker 1: of my life. There's something about approaching milestone birthdays, at
Speaker 1: least in my mind, that makes me feel like I
Speaker 1: want to reflect on you know, what I've done, things
Speaker 1: I haven't done what I want to do. And at
Speaker 1: the time, I was rocking the short haircut and I'm like, listen, baby,
Speaker 1: if my hair is going to be short, darling, I
Speaker 1: have to be in shape. Okay. I can't be rocking
Speaker 1: the short side shave with a big back. That's just
Speaker 1: not an option. Okay, bias, no backpacks, none of those things.
Speaker 1: And also too, like I just wanted to just be
Speaker 1: healthy and I wanted to look good going into thirty
Speaker 1: because it's something about the short haircut in the big
Speaker 1: bag that gives Auntie vibes. And I wasn't ready for
Speaker 1: Auntie yet. You know what I'm saying. I'm here, i
Speaker 1: am forty, and I'm still not ready to be call
Speaker 1: me big sis, call me because don't call me Auntie AnyWho.
Speaker 1: So we're training with these athletes and shout out to
Speaker 1: our friend Mayah, who was also trainer there also an
Speaker 1: amazing athlete ran track as well. She was actually responsible
Speaker 1: for training the girls that were training for track. So
Speaker 1: Devale said, wellw about you just like go to a
Speaker 1: couple of sessions and just train with them. You know,
Speaker 1: I feel like you can lift with them and you
Speaker 1: can do some like running drills, and whatnot. So I say,
Speaker 1: you know what, that's cool. I'm up for the challenge.
Speaker 1: Here we have fifteen, sixteen, seventeen year old girls, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I can keep up, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: because in my mind I'm going on thirty, but well
Speaker 1: my body was going on thirty in my mind, I'm
Speaker 1: like eighteen, and you know, give her take a year
Speaker 1: or two. So I end up doing a weight training
Speaker 1: session with them. And that's one thing I love to do,
Speaker 1: weight training, So deadlift, squat me all day, I'm good. Right,
Speaker 1: So after that I felt depleted. I'm like, man, my
Speaker 1: legs are loaded, but they all, you know, doing a
Speaker 1: little kick thing and the legs shaking and then loosening
Speaker 1: up and they getting ready to go outside. Baby, is
Speaker 1: there such a thing as a game of rabbit or
Speaker 1: something of the story. Have you heard of that? Yes? Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I don't know who told the trainer to put me
Speaker 1: as the rabbit? And baby, I was running for my life,
Speaker 1: running for my life to the point where I literally
Speaker 1: thought I was gonna die, like I couldn't breathe, and
Speaker 1: these girls were just running and they're just standing there
Speaker 1: normal and no one's having to catch their breath and
Speaker 1: I thought I was in pretty decent shape at that point, baby,
Speaker 1: but listening breathless, about to die, like eyes like welling
Speaker 1: up with tears, and I look at Devo and I
Speaker 1: look at my son, and I'm like, this is the last?
Speaker 1: This is it for me? Like I was like, God
Speaker 1: of always to go out, is this it? And it
Speaker 1: really made me in that moment realize, like, girl, first
Speaker 1: of all, you ate in the shape you thought you
Speaker 1: were in. These girls are going to run circles around you.
Speaker 1: Your body is thirty, it ain't eighteen. And the new
Speaker 1: found appreciation and respect for athletes, particularly track, because baby, baby,
Speaker 1: that's a different beast. I literally thought I was going
Speaker 1: to die, like I could not catch my breath. I
Speaker 1: wanted to cry at the same time as screen. And
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've ever been there in your
Speaker 1: training or if you were just born that way, if
Speaker 1: you were a born athlete, because I thought I was, baby,
Speaker 1: But I was humbled that day at track practice with
Speaker 1: the girls, and that was my first and last the end,
Speaker 1: all right, So listen, I was super excited about karaoke
Speaker 1: time today just because I know that the extensive cat
Speaker 1: extensive catalog of reggae that I'm sure you and I
Speaker 1: can relate. So, who's your all time favorite? Like reggae artists,
Speaker 1: do you have one person that she can say is
Speaker 1: your favorite? Or we have to break into category like
Speaker 1: dad fall versus lovers Rock right exactly? Okay?
Speaker 2: So I mean I think based on just legacy and
Speaker 2: all that he's done for Jamaica, I have to put
Speaker 2: Bob as number one, of course, but my like hardcore
Speaker 2: number two is Bear's Hammond Hands.
Speaker 1: Don't like nobody compare?
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1: I mean when you talk about music that transcends time
Speaker 1: and generation, because Barris for those of you who don't
Speaker 1: know Baris is probably like our grandparents' generation. Would you say,
Speaker 1: or mom and dad? Maybe in between?
Speaker 2: Maybe in between mom and dad and dad? Yeah, I
Speaker 2: feel like I feel like that's my dad's vibe. Mom, Yeah,
Speaker 2: Mom and dad. Man.
Speaker 1: And let me tell you the way I can sing
Speaker 1: a barage tone. You have a favorite I have?
Speaker 4: I could sing anyone if you call up when I
Speaker 4: sing it with you?
Speaker 1: All right, right, so ready I'm gonna start it off. O.
Speaker 1: Oh what a night, What a night? What a night?
Speaker 1: O God, what a night? I feel good when you're
Speaker 1: wrapped up in my arms dance in to a reggae song,
Speaker 1: feel good good high five girl. Yes, Uncle Bris, Yes,
Speaker 1: you know. I hope you made him before. I was
Speaker 1: supposed to go one year and it was in New
Speaker 1: York actually, but I had to be down here for
Speaker 1: work and I missed it. God, I was literally going
Speaker 1: to be backstage with him and I was so upset.
Speaker 1: But I hear he's coming here, so yes, I think
Speaker 1: he either came or he was here.
Speaker 2: I went to Barras's time the show one time, and
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, this is everything.
Speaker 1: Everything.
Speaker 2: My mom was there, all of our family was in.
Speaker 2: It was just because I don't know about you. Growing up,
Speaker 2: it was like when we would clean the house and stuff,
Speaker 2: and you know, every Sunday it was the whole The whole.
Speaker 1: Album was on.
Speaker 4: You know, the whole albums brings back such good, so.
Speaker 1: Many good vibes. My parents haveing basement parties or bashmans
Speaker 1: as we call them, and as the party wind down
Speaker 1: or wind up, it was Uncle Barrass. So shout out
Speaker 1: to Barras having and shout out to you for knowing
Speaker 1: all the lyrics. Of course, all right, y'all. Let's take
Speaker 1: a break really quick, and then we're gonna come back
Speaker 1: into the meat of the show. By now you're probably
Speaker 1: figured out who I have with me, but if not,
Speaker 1: I'm going to introduce her and we're going to get
Speaker 1: into the thick of the discussion talking track and field,
Speaker 1: Olympics and everything in between. Stick around, all right. So
Speaker 1: I'm so excited. You guys have no idea And it's
Speaker 1: so funny. As she came in, She's just like, I'm
Speaker 1: such a fan of you, guys. I'm my girl. We're
Speaker 1: a fan of you. Like my husband like literally came
Speaker 1: out from like wherever he was because he had to
Speaker 1: meet you. Sonya Richards Ross is a wife, mom, TV personality, author, entrepreneur,
Speaker 1: and Olympic champion. Sonya's career competing for the US in
Speaker 1: the woman's four hundred meter sprint is nothing short of amazing, y'all.
Speaker 1: She is a multi time Olympic medalist in the four
Speaker 1: hundreds and the four by four hundred events. That includes
Speaker 1: winning the gold medal in twenty twelve, making her only
Speaker 1: the second American woman to win the four hundred meter
Speaker 1: Olympic race. She was ranked number one in the world
Speaker 1: over multiple years. She set the American four hundred meter
Speaker 1: record in two thousand and six girl, a record that
Speaker 1: she still holds to this day, and was named the
Speaker 1: IAAF Female World Athlete of the Year, not once, but twice. Baby.
Speaker 1: That's when you do. That's when they can't deny you.
Speaker 1: Baby twice okay. Sonya also holds the record for the
Speaker 1: most sprints under fifty seconds in the history of the event.
Speaker 1: I should have had her training, Mechel because they you'd
Speaker 1: had me right, And since retiring from the sport in
Speaker 1: twenty sixteen, Sonya has published her memoir, became a cast
Speaker 1: member of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, and an Olympics commentator,
Speaker 1: which she is coming up very very soon again in Paris.
Speaker 1: She and her husband, who is also a world class
Speaker 1: athlete as well in his own right, are the creators
Speaker 1: and owners of the Pajama Company Coordinates say stay tuned.
Speaker 1: You're gonna get to see what that looks like soon.
Speaker 1: The brand represents a legacy of determination and achievement and
Speaker 1: inspires others to reach their dreams and celebrate their victories,
Speaker 1: both big and small, and, maybe most importantly of all
Speaker 1: of her accolades, she's a fellow Joma Khan one more time.
Speaker 1: Everyone helped me welcome Sonya Richard's Ross to the show.
Speaker 2: Yes, I love that.
Speaker 1: No, absolutely, Does it ever blow your mind when people
Speaker 1: introduce you in spaces like this and they list off
Speaker 1: your accolades? Do you ever get tired of that?
Speaker 4: I wouldn't say tired of it.
Speaker 2: It's just it's so funny because now I feel like
Speaker 2: I've been living my life in like different silos, in
Speaker 2: different stages. Yes, And it's like sometimes I forget all
Speaker 2: of the stuff that I've done because for me, although
Speaker 2: obviously winning the Olympic gold was a lifelong dream come true,
Speaker 2: it still feels like just the foundation of what I'm
Speaker 2: going to go on to do in my life. You know.
Speaker 2: It's just like the starting point for me. So it's
Speaker 2: it's fun to like reflect on that time. But I'm
Speaker 2: also the person who's always like looking for more greatness
Speaker 2: and oh yeah for the so I definitely appreciate it.
Speaker 1: But I mean and to think that track and field
Speaker 1: and you becoming an Olympic athlete and winning medals, I
Speaker 1: mean that was your springboard for all of the greatness
Speaker 1: to come. So I applaud you. I give you your
Speaker 1: flowers here as they sit here today and the sky
Speaker 1: is literally the limit. And I feel like that's one
Speaker 1: thing that we share as Jamaicans or being of Jamaican descent,
Speaker 1: is something as a young age, as a child, our
Speaker 1: parents always instilled in us. So when you said it
Speaker 1: was a dream come true from a young age, was
Speaker 1: that always your dream to be an Olympic athlete or
Speaker 1: to run track? How did it all start for you? Yeah?
Speaker 2: And I also do want to acknowledge what you said
Speaker 2: in the beginning too, you know that Devaal came out
Speaker 2: and I just want to also give you your flowers too
Speaker 2: because I am such a big fan of you and
Speaker 2: your family. I think that what you guys stand for,
Speaker 2: it really just shines right through everything that you guys do.
Speaker 2: And you know the world needs that. You know, we
Speaker 2: need to see black, healthy love. We need to see
Speaker 2: beautiful strong men boys, and you guys just have that
Speaker 2: in space. And so I'm so tited to finally meet you.
Speaker 2: I feel like we've been friends.
Speaker 1: From morning from morning and finally together. I appreciate that.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much much.
Speaker 2: You're doing so keep going, But yeah, you know, like
Speaker 2: you know track and field is the most popular sport
Speaker 2: in Jamaica. So when I was growing up, track was
Speaker 2: always all around me.
Speaker 1: Were you born in Jamaica? I was you were what part?
Speaker 1: No I was? Oh, I was actually born in New York,
Speaker 1: But you.
Speaker 4: Can't tell me that, baby, No, I can't tell you know.
Speaker 1: I was born on the rock. So yeah, no, I
Speaker 1: was born in Jamaica.
Speaker 2: I was born in Kingston, Jamaica, and I stayed there
Speaker 2: till I was twelve. My family, my grade when I
Speaker 2: was twelve, and so growing up, I remember the country
Speaker 2: literally shutting down when the Olympics were on, like people
Speaker 2: did not go to work, like it was all about Olympics.
Speaker 1: Right, And so I was like, man, I want that.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: It's so funny because I didn't think I was somebody
Speaker 2: who like was like center of attention kind of girl.
Speaker 2: But I've always been that way. So I was like
Speaker 2: you were watching me and cheering for me like that,
Speaker 2: you know. And so I started when I was seven.
Speaker 2: I went out, you know, we had like a fun
Speaker 2: day at school to race and do all that stuff.
Speaker 2: And I be all the boys and you know, like
Speaker 2: the track coach was like you're doing the track team, and.
Speaker 4: Literally my track career started at seven.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: I always tell people, Kadin, I'm so grateful. I think
Speaker 2: I got the best of both worlds because being in
Speaker 2: Jamaica at that young age where they really nurture track
Speaker 2: and field athletes like I was. I was being coached
Speaker 2: by the coach who was coaching the national team when
Speaker 2: I was seven. Imagine like all that he that he
Speaker 2: poured into me. I learned so much about discipline, Like
Speaker 2: people were like, oh my god, you're running looks so poetic.
Speaker 4: I learned about form.
Speaker 1: Like all that stuff at a very very age.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Then my grade to the States and had access
Speaker 2: to all these resources here, So it was just like
Speaker 2: the perfect storm. And I'm so grateful that my parents,
Speaker 2: you know, made the moves when they did, because it
Speaker 2: benefited me so well so much.
Speaker 1: Right, it was something you had to kind of develop
Speaker 1: a love for, you feel like you just kind of
Speaker 1: fell into it. And I loved it immediately. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: loved it immediately.
Speaker 2: I loved It's funny because as I got older, I
Speaker 2: realized I didn't love the training as much as I
Speaker 2: loved like winning, right, absolutely, yeah, absolutely, Like I loved competing,
Speaker 2: I loved like in Jamaica, chrack and field was like football,
Speaker 2: so like Friday night love.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So we would have meets when I was seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven.
Speaker 2: I'll never forget in the National Stadium and it'd be
Speaker 2: like tens of thousands of people in the stands. Like
Speaker 2: our school would practice, you know, our school would practice
Speaker 2: like their chance and it'll be like son, yeah, champion.
Speaker 4: Yeah so.
Speaker 2: You know all yeah, the whole and then my whole
Speaker 2: family would fly from the States to come and watch.
Speaker 1: It was a thing. It brought the families. Oh it was. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was a big thing. Is still to this day,
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, still the same. I figure. I feel
Speaker 1: like track and field is the biggest out over soccer
Speaker 1: is catching up.
Speaker 2: And you would always say track and field and soccer
Speaker 2: were the two biggest sports. I think that obviously with
Speaker 2: you saying bolts and shelley and stuff completely has gone
Speaker 2: like there's no competition for sure, track and field is
Speaker 2: the biggest and the most supportive. But yeah, man, I
Speaker 2: mean it's a big deal, and it's so good because
Speaker 2: when you're that age, it's so good to have something
Speaker 2: like that to be able to latch onto, right because
Speaker 2: whether you make it or not. As an Olympian, you
Speaker 2: learn so much from sports, oh for sure.
Speaker 1: And so I'm just discipline, pres hard work FROMDERI, teamwork,
Speaker 1: all those things which we were joking about earlier on
Speaker 1: when you walked in that when our kids start running track,
Speaker 1: because Jackson's starting our oldest system to start. He's been
Speaker 1: playing football, basketball, but he wants to work on speed
Speaker 1: and agility specifically, and we said that we're not going
Speaker 1: to be able to like just put them into any
Speaker 1: program or with any trainer, because we're gonna be able
Speaker 1: to sniff out the ones who know and who don't
Speaker 1: know the actual like technique that you know is required
Speaker 1: for that. So you started at seven, But at what
Speaker 1: point did you realize I'm a powerhouse this, Like I
Speaker 1: can do this on a larger scale. Like when did
Speaker 1: it click to you? Did you have a moment?
Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely. It was my senior year high school.
Speaker 2: So my junior year, I had been competing doing very
Speaker 2: well and I had my first like major injury. I'd
Speaker 2: pulled like my hamstring on my quadma sole. I didn't
Speaker 2: compete as well as I normally did in the like
Speaker 2: you know, nationals and stuff. After high school stuff. I
Speaker 2: remember being very disappointed and I was in the car
Speaker 2: with my dad. It was a summer before my senior year,
Speaker 2: and he's like, darling, do you want to be great?
Speaker 2: And I was like, of course, Like who doesn't want
Speaker 2: to be great?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: But I realized in that moment, like he was helping
Speaker 2: me understand that greatness didn't just happen because you were talented,
Speaker 2: like you had to be intentional. He really wanted to
Speaker 2: be great, and so I remember taking that challenge to
Speaker 2: heart and we started doing a thousand sit ups every day.
Speaker 2: I started watching film, I started eating well, I started resting,
Speaker 2: and the results were like immediate. You know. I wrote
Speaker 2: the national high school record that still stands today. That
Speaker 2: was in two thousand and two, in the four hundred
Speaker 2: and it was just I had one of the best
Speaker 2: years of collegiate high school careers. And from that moment,
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, if I just put in the
Speaker 2: hard work, I could be the best in the world,
Speaker 2: because my time that year in high school would have
Speaker 2: made the World Championship team or Olympics had I had
Speaker 2: that been that season. So yeah, I was like, okay,
Speaker 2: I could do this, you know, and it was incredibly
Speaker 2: rewarding because my dad had always seen the potential in me.
Speaker 2: And I say this about my parents too, and I
Speaker 2: feel like this was the balance that I hope will
Speaker 2: help other parents who has potentially or who have a
Speaker 2: child who also could be great. Is that you have
Speaker 2: to you have to you have to be behind them.
Speaker 2: You can't be pulling them towards it, like you see
Speaker 2: it in them and you're like, oh, d is it
Speaker 2: never going to work. They have to want it for themselves,
Speaker 2: and then you walk with them, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my mom and dad did that.
Speaker 2: They told that line so perfectly because my dad was
Speaker 2: always like, YEA, go a bit the best metal world
Speaker 2: since I was nine.
Speaker 1: He's like, world, be tough. So he was speaking life
Speaker 1: to you.
Speaker 2: And until I believe it in my believe for myself
Speaker 2: in a minute, I believe that he was all right,
Speaker 2: what we're doing.
Speaker 4: You know, he was right there to meet me where
Speaker 4: I was at.
Speaker 1: So, yeah, it's funny you say that because we actually
Speaker 1: realizing that with our oldest now, so our oldest is thirteen,
Speaker 1: how old is your oldest son? Six? Six? Okay, so
Speaker 1: we have a little wayte to that mean a year
Speaker 1: out from starting when mom day at seven if you
Speaker 1: wanted to run track, right, But we even see it
Speaker 1: with our son now, like like you said, it's a
Speaker 1: difference between wanting to be great but actually training and
Speaker 1: working at being great. And with him, we sell the
Speaker 1: potential like he can just really be a great all
Speaker 1: around athlete. But when they're younger, you tend to kind
Speaker 1: of just allow them to try and figure it out.
Speaker 1: And it's gone from my husband who also played in
Speaker 1: the NFL and had, you know, a really good career,
Speaker 1: and it's just I think a born athlete showing our
Speaker 1: son that I can want it for you, but you
Speaker 1: have to want it for yourself. And we've seen a
Speaker 1: switch in him in the past year where it's no
Speaker 1: longer us saying, come on, you got to get to practice,
Speaker 1: So come on, you should put up a couple of
Speaker 1: shots or you know, however many shots a day. It
Speaker 1: requires you to just kind of get that rhythm and
Speaker 1: that muscle memory as a basketball player. Now we see
Speaker 1: him just initiating it. We see him, you know, putting
Speaker 1: in the family group chat or on the calendar like
Speaker 1: I have practice or I want to go or so
Speaker 1: it's very rewarding as a parent when you can see
Speaker 1: that when you can speak your life, speak the life
Speaker 1: into our children, but then also see them put that
Speaker 1: into fruition by working on their own. So shout out
Speaker 1: to your mom and dad for knowing from early that
Speaker 1: she was a champion. Did you have any particular goals
Speaker 1: that you set out to break, any records or anything.
Speaker 1: Did you say the Olympics was tangible once you finally
Speaker 1: decided in high school that you were going to, you know,
Speaker 1: make those times and make that decision in your mind,
Speaker 1: like I can do this.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, like I knew I would make a vision
Speaker 2: board every year, and on my vision board i'd have
Speaker 2: the Olympic gold medals or World Championship goal medals. I'd
Speaker 2: put time goals on my vision board.
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 2: I think as an athlete, you have to know what
Speaker 2: you want. I think that you can't just like hope
Speaker 2: that it arbitrarily will happen for you. I think, and
Speaker 2: especially in a sport that's decided by tens of thousands
Speaker 2: of seconds or you know, half a second, and all
Speaker 2: those things get to be so precise, ridiculous. So yeah,
Speaker 2: I was always you know, the American record was on
Speaker 2: my board, Olympic gold medals were on my board, all
Speaker 2: those things, you know.
Speaker 1: Because we're seeing numbers, oh yeah all the time.
Speaker 2: And then training too, it's like, you know you're doing
Speaker 2: especially for the four hundred hallelujah. You know, like it's
Speaker 2: literally like a game of numbers. You know, you got
Speaker 2: to come through in twenty three five, the the next
Speaker 2: turn has to be twelve five and in thirteen five
Speaker 2: and that's forty eight seconds, right, So it's like, you know,
Speaker 2: so then you build this clock in your head. I'm training,
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, that's a that'st fifteen seconds, like you know,
Speaker 2: so it's a little bit insane, but I felt like
Speaker 2: it was necessary in order for me to reach the goals.
Speaker 2: So yes, I knew exactly what I wanted. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: do all the records I was chasing, and you know,
Speaker 2: I was fortunate to hit almost all of my goals
Speaker 2: in my career.
Speaker 1: If you did, you ever have a time where you
Speaker 1: were just kind of discouraged, like, man, like it's going
Speaker 1: to take me this many years to train. The Olympics
Speaker 1: only come around every four years, Like is it really
Speaker 1: worth it? Because I when I watched the Olympics. I
Speaker 1: think about someone who has trained for four years, they
Speaker 1: get to the track and there may be a fluke,
Speaker 1: accident or something that happens, and it's like, that was
Speaker 1: my chance, and I trained four years for this. Did
Speaker 1: you ever have those moments of defeat? How did you
Speaker 1: give up through those? Yeah?
Speaker 2: So I actually am that person. I had that story.
Speaker 2: So in two thousand and eight, I was favored to
Speaker 2: win gold. I was undefeated that season. Talking about pressure now, yes,
Speaker 2: I was well number one. And the only race I
Speaker 2: lost of two thousand and eight was the Olympic final,
Speaker 2: the only race of twenty races I competed in. I
Speaker 2: beat every single person that field nineteen other times except
Speaker 2: for for the Olympic finals. And on the night I lost,
Speaker 2: I literally thought I thought I was gonna die.
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 2: I literally wanted to just die, because when you cross
Speaker 2: the finish line, you know immediately that you got to
Speaker 2: wait four more years for the opportunity again. And most
Speaker 2: athletes only make it to one Olympics. So this was
Speaker 2: my second. So the chance of me going to my third,
Speaker 2: you know, it's very slim. And so I was overwhelmingly
Speaker 2: broken after that, and it's so crazy because I'll never forget.
Speaker 2: So at the time, in two thousand and eight, there
Speaker 2: was no Twitter at Instagram, no social media.
Speaker 1: So people the good old good days, the good old days. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: So people had to email you if they wanted to
Speaker 2: communicate with you, right, so you had your website and
Speaker 2: like you know, and I remember I was on the
Speaker 2: stands and I had cried so much because so when
Speaker 2: when I walked to the back, Kadeen said, like most Olympics,
Speaker 2: they don't like carve your name on the medal or
Speaker 2: anything that you just get the medal.
Speaker 4: And I never forget.
Speaker 2: I walked it back and the gentlemen we were in Beijing,
Speaker 2: he says, what happened? We had your name on gold
Speaker 2: medal and I just like I had finally pulled it together, sir,
Speaker 2: and it was not the right time. Right before I
Speaker 2: walk out, he said, So I started bawling again. Right,
Speaker 2: so I'm on the podium. My eyes are literally bloodshot, right,
Speaker 2: I look so sad, and everybody's like righting me, like oh,
Speaker 2: you're so ungrateful, like you got a medal, and I'm
Speaker 2: just like stoops, Yeah, I'm like you guys don't understand,
Speaker 2: Like how hard I work for this, Yeah, and it
Speaker 2: didn't happen, you know, and so it took me a
Speaker 2: really long time to rebound from that. It took me
Speaker 2: a long time to say I want a bronze, like
Speaker 2: I lost the gold, and you know, you start to
Speaker 2: feel like, am I not a big race competitor because
Speaker 2: it's just all of these things that happened. You know,
Speaker 2: when that's something that major happens to you, and so
Speaker 2: you know, I got a sports psychologist after that and
Speaker 2: started working with him, and it really helped me to
Speaker 2: put things in perspective and to understand how to because
Speaker 2: the reality is when you're at the Olympics, it's no
Speaker 2: longer physical. It's all mental because everybody on the line
Speaker 2: is physically you wouldn't be there, right, You're the top
Speaker 2: eight women in the world, the top eight, like it
Speaker 2: has been quantified.
Speaker 1: You are no. No, no, I really am that chick.
Speaker 1: No for sure. I check the numbers, the number so
Speaker 1: it's you know.
Speaker 2: So then it's about the mental game, like who can
Speaker 2: stay present in the moment and execute their race strategy?
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: I didn't even think of a sports psychologist, like someone
Speaker 1: like a therapy session, but specific for an athlete after
Speaker 1: I didn't even know that that was like an actual thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I wish, and honestly, our women like Simone
Speaker 2: bows In, you know, recent years have actually brought more
Speaker 2: attention to it, which I think has been very helpful
Speaker 2: because in my day it wasn't talked about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean, and I really wish.
Speaker 4: I think I would have been even more dominant had
Speaker 4: I had.
Speaker 1: I mean, mental health in general has now become a
Speaker 1: thing that we're openly discussing.
Speaker 4: But it hasn't been in the past.
Speaker 2: It wasn't and so you know, you just push through
Speaker 2: even though you're dealing all these things. So anyway, so
Speaker 2: to a very long answer to your question, it took
Speaker 2: me a lot to overcome that loss. And I remember
Speaker 2: standing on the start line in twenty twelve, and you know,
Speaker 2: my sports psychologist told me, he's like, something's going to
Speaker 2: happen that's gonna knock you off your block, but you're
Speaker 2: going to put your hand on your stomach, You're going
Speaker 2: to breathe into your hand, and you're gonna remember all
Speaker 2: that you've done to be here. If you watch the
Speaker 2: race back, you literally see me do that because I
Speaker 2: was in the lane five or six in Alien seven
Speaker 2: or eight.
Speaker 4: Was the defending Olympic champion.
Speaker 1: She's the one that one in two thousand and eight.
Speaker 4: And she's British, so she was.
Speaker 2: She literally lived like five minutes from the stadium and
Speaker 2: usually when the race starts, I usually get the loudest roar,
Speaker 2: right hello, Well.
Speaker 1: They not on that day.
Speaker 2: Okay, they said Christina Rugu and literally it was deafening wow.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, where is she from. She's
Speaker 1: from Great gat Wait, she's.
Speaker 2: From London, from London, and the Olympics were in London,
Speaker 2: so you know what I mean, home court of course,
Speaker 2: and she's the final.
Speaker 1: So excited. So I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 4: So like I had to get back in my eyear.
Speaker 1: That was the moment. This is what told me about.
Speaker 2: So you see me put my hand on my stomach,
Speaker 2: bringing too the thing and I was like, not on today, honey,
Speaker 2: not on today. I refused to lose to I waited
Speaker 2: four years for that year, and it felt like I ran. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it was really beautiful and so yeah, I suddenly had
Speaker 2: my highs and lows. And I think with anything big
Speaker 2: that you attempt to do in life, it's par for
Speaker 2: the course. You know, success is not a rocket ship
Speaker 2: like it is going to have it's and Valley's going
Speaker 2: to have his highs and lows, and so yeah.
Speaker 1: I certainly experienced that.
Speaker 2: But man, when I got to finally sound top of
Speaker 2: that podium for the individual four.
Speaker 1: Hundred, yeah, oh my goodness, I love that for you.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about sports currently and what it's looking like
Speaker 1: for athletes in general, but specifically when it comes to
Speaker 1: track and field and being a woman in the sport.
Speaker 1: How have you seen a shift in that? With nil deals?
Speaker 1: You're going to go that direction because and I say
Speaker 1: that because it's so different than for example, your story
Speaker 1: where you just had to tooth and nail, fight and train,
Speaker 1: and the proof was in Sonya Richards at the time,
Speaker 1: not Ross but Sonia Richards, the athletes, and not necessarily
Speaker 1: what came with that, the potential celebrity or the endorsement
Speaker 1: deals or the brand partnerships. Those things weren't a thing,
Speaker 1: and ultimately it boiled down to you as a talent.
Speaker 1: As a talent, you as an athlete. So now I
Speaker 1: know you have two boys of your own. Boy mom's
Speaker 1: strolling through over here. But if you had a daughter,
Speaker 1: or just for advice for you know, the girl athlete,
Speaker 1: the track star who wants to you know, elevate within
Speaker 1: that particular sport with these nil deals, how have you
Speaker 1: seen like a shift in what the sport looks like
Speaker 1: any I guess complications that may arise for an athlete.
Speaker 2: It's a really good question and it's one that I
Speaker 2: actually my god daughter, one of my best friends, Breshn Jackson,
Speaker 2: has a god daughter. Her name is Shanty Jackson and
Speaker 2: has a daughter, and she's my goddaughter.
Speaker 4: Yes, and she's going to be a superstar in the sport.
Speaker 4: She is phenomenal, a phenomenal athlete.
Speaker 2: And so when you started to talk about that, I just,
Speaker 2: you know, I think of her like, what would I
Speaker 2: tell Shaunty as she navigates this very new space because.
Speaker 1: It is very different.
Speaker 2: And I will say this, like, there are a lot
Speaker 2: of pros to athletes being able to make money off
Speaker 2: of their image and likeness, right because I could tell
Speaker 2: you I can talk about this all day because obviously
Speaker 2: on the Olympic level, I think that there needs to
Speaker 2: be lots of changes made there. I understand on the
Speaker 2: college level, especially for football players, how much money they
Speaker 2: bring to the schools, and I do think that the
Speaker 2: people who are the entertainment, who are putting their bodies
Speaker 2: on the line, who are working, deserves to be paid.
Speaker 2: But it does come with a level of pressure and
Speaker 2: it could be a potential distraction that I just I
Speaker 2: don't it's hard to balance the progress.
Speaker 1: It's going to take us some time to see, right.
Speaker 1: So for those of you who don't know what an
Speaker 1: anil deal, it's name, image and likenss. So you're seeing
Speaker 1: more and more. I guess the conversation topic around the
Speaker 1: before this even became a thing was the fact that
Speaker 1: there are schools, there are institutions, there are boosters, there
Speaker 1: are people who are making money, are money and this
Speaker 1: is even I could a high school level absolutely that
Speaker 1: are making these deals that are using the name, image
Speaker 1: and likeness of an athlete who they think, for example,
Speaker 1: like with your goddaughter, this is going to be the
Speaker 1: next Sonia Richard's Ross, So how do we capitalize on
Speaker 1: that now? So it's like, oh, we know that this
Speaker 1: person's going to make us multimillion dollars, if not now
Speaker 1: in the future, so let's give them a couple of
Speaker 1: dollars now just to make them feel okay. And I
Speaker 1: think that's also one of the struggles I saw. Even
Speaker 1: when my husband had his training program. We had a
Speaker 1: couple girls who came up from Jamaica and we're training
Speaker 1: with him and the trainer at the time, but sometimes
Speaker 1: finance is an issue. Of course, you know, where is
Speaker 1: this girl going to stay? Like, how is she going
Speaker 1: to survive up here? You know, for all these things. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's interesting to see, like you said, it being a
Speaker 1: benefit but also a potential distraction is from the sport.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's a huge benefit if you have the
Speaker 2: right people around you. And you know, because because the
Speaker 2: whole thing is, and from my own experience is the
Speaker 2: only place I can speak from, is that sport was
Speaker 2: so much fun for me and it was this place
Speaker 2: of retreat and solace until the pressures and the money
Speaker 2: and all that stuff place started to be a part
Speaker 2: of it, you know, because now you're making choices based
Speaker 2: on those things as opposed to sport just being something fun,
Speaker 2: you know. And so what happens when you start to
Speaker 2: put money in the mixed, very early for young people,
Speaker 2: you start to put the pressures on decision making.
Speaker 4: And now they're the boss and all these things.
Speaker 2: And especially what I think is really challenging is a
Speaker 2: lot of young people who are great athletes are first
Speaker 2: time millionaires. They don't have people in their circle who
Speaker 2: know how to.
Speaker 1: Deal with in that. Yeah. Right, So now you give
Speaker 1: a kid who you know.
Speaker 2: Is from a situation where you know they may be
Speaker 2: whatever the circumstances are, and now they got a million
Speaker 2: dollars or five hundred.
Speaker 1: Dollars, and it's like, you know, everybody has their hands
Speaker 1: out exactly. Everyone's now the expert on what you should
Speaker 1: do with your money. The same thing goes for the
Speaker 1: NFL athlete, for example, than the draft. Yes, you know,
Speaker 1: you get that signing bonus for however many millions of dollars,
Speaker 1: and then you leave them to their own devices exactly,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: So I think that I think the better way to
Speaker 2: do it would be, yes, to give athletes what they
Speaker 2: are doing based on all that they bring, but maybe
Speaker 2: put it in a fund or something where they can't
Speaker 2: touch it until they're older, because I think that it,
Speaker 2: unfortunately will have an impact on their performance because life changes.
Speaker 2: Like when you have money. We all know, more money
Speaker 2: more problems than the real thing. And I just feel
Speaker 2: like young people should be allowed to be young people.
Speaker 2: They should be able to focus, should be fun, It
Speaker 2: should be light. It shouldn't be so heavy too early,
Speaker 2: because that's going to come anyway, right. But yeah, I mean,
Speaker 2: if if the if the colleges are saying, look, y'all
Speaker 2: are making us twenty thirty million dollars, we want to
Speaker 2: give something back to you, do it, but put it
Speaker 2: in a fund where they don't have access to it
Speaker 2: until they're maybe twenty one or something. You a good
Speaker 2: idea and provide provide good people, like give them good managers,
Speaker 2: give them people who can help them manage their money,
Speaker 2: like you know, give the money.
Speaker 1: Financial advisors, people who are paid track of these things,
Speaker 1: teaching about investments and things like that. Remember for success exactly.
Speaker 1: I remember when my husband was playing in the NFL,
Speaker 1: they used to have courses like you could come in
Speaker 1: exactly and they would kind of teach you how to,
Speaker 1: you know, invest your money and the things to do
Speaker 1: with it and make it really wise. So that made
Speaker 1: sense then, And I think that's a really good, good
Speaker 1: point that you've made there. It's like they all controlled
Speaker 1: environment where they do have them because they do deserve it.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think about some of these girls and
Speaker 1: guys that I see out here doing amazing things. But
Speaker 1: I can also see how it kind of convolutes the
Speaker 1: sport in general and the focus of the Did you
Speaker 1: ever have any moments where things were kind of getting
Speaker 1: in the way of your goal, your dream, like, you know,
Speaker 1: not necessarily a brand deal or per se, but just
Speaker 1: something was trying to knock you off of your track.
Speaker 1: For lack of a better yeah or pun intended, I
Speaker 1: just say, yeah, yeah, so yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean, throughout my journey, I've had a lot of
Speaker 2: you know, challenges, whether it was like you said, maybe
Speaker 2: you know, whether it was a brand deal or I
Speaker 2: always had this vision of like wanting to be the
Speaker 2: face of the sport, and like I remember my first Olympics,
Speaker 2: I had like eight contract deals, Like wow, do different sponsors,
Speaker 2: BMWBP all this stuff? And yes, I do feel like
Speaker 2: sometimes those things distracted me from just the pure training
Speaker 2: and focus of the sport. I've also had like really
Speaker 2: tough challenges in my personal life, you know, And it's
Speaker 2: a story that I shared in my book where you
Speaker 2: know about two thousand and eight, because I had you know,
Speaker 2: people saw what happened, and you know, you talk about
Speaker 2: it in the best way you can frame it for
Speaker 2: the world, but the reality is there was a more
Speaker 2: going on in two thousand and eight that I finally
Speaker 2: opened up and shared in twenty sixteen, And so it's
Speaker 2: always still hard for me to tell this story, even
Speaker 2: though it's been so many years ago. But right before
Speaker 2: I left for Beijing, I found out I was pregnant.
Speaker 1: Oh wow.
Speaker 4: Literally the day before I got on the plane, I
Speaker 4: had an abortion.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: And so my husband and I had been we were
Speaker 2: I think just engaged. We have been together for about
Speaker 2: five years prior to two thousand and eight, we weren't
Speaker 2: married yet. He had just been off to the NFL
Speaker 2: for about two seasons. And you know, at the time,
Speaker 2: it was crazy because we also had this like notion
Speaker 2: as female athletes that oh, when you're training, when you
Speaker 2: got this low body fat, you can't get pregnant. It's
Speaker 2: like really like misinformation, like we believe like, oh, I'm
Speaker 2: at my fitness, it's no way I could get pregnant, right,
Speaker 2: and then bam, here I.
Speaker 1: Am, right, which is actually kind of contrary because at
Speaker 1: your fittest and your most healthy, it's probably the best time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: think about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, anyway, so you know it was it was
Speaker 2: a really challenging time for me, Kadeen, because as a
Speaker 2: Christian woman, as someone who desired to start a family
Speaker 2: at some point, and someone who always really saw life
Speaker 2: as very black and white. For the very first time
Speaker 2: in my life, I felt like I was in this
Speaker 2: area of gray, and I did not know what to do.
Speaker 2: You know. I was like, all my life, I've dreamt
Speaker 2: of being an Olympian, and here I am now going
Speaker 2: on the precipice of winning my first Olympic gold medal.
Speaker 4: Was what I thought.
Speaker 2: I'm faced with this very hard life decision, you know,
Speaker 2: and so I decided to have the abortion.
Speaker 1: I didn't tell.
Speaker 4: My only person that knew was my mom, my sister
Speaker 4: in Ross.
Speaker 2: My dad didn't know, my coaches, didn't know nobody now,
Speaker 2: and so I travel over to Beijing and I'm still
Speaker 2: working and mind you supposed to be fourteen days, do nothing,
Speaker 2: do nothing, yea working out, I'm doing every I'm literally like,
Speaker 2: oh wow, yeah yeah, because I don't want my coaches
Speaker 2: to not w anybody to know them.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: And you know, I reflect on that time and I
Speaker 2: and I just sometimes I just weep for that girl,
Speaker 2: you know, because it was just it was so hard
Speaker 2: on me because I the night before the Olympic final,
Speaker 2: I couldn't sleep because I didn't feel like I was.
Speaker 4: Worthy of winning the Olympic gold.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: I just I felt like when I had the abortion,
Speaker 2: I left a little bit of my soul on the table.
Speaker 1: Right, It's like playing like was this worth it?
Speaker 2: Yes, I never thought I would be in that situation.
Speaker 2: And then it was just just a lot of things.
Speaker 2: So outside of already the emotional toll it takes on
Speaker 2: you to compete at that level. I was in like
Speaker 2: an emotional and spiritual warfare, you know, for myself internally.
Speaker 1: So then I talk about the mental exactly in that
Speaker 1: it takes not just to run the race, but then
Speaker 1: now to deal with this extra exactly you know, situation
Speaker 1: that must have been quite a time for you to
Speaker 1: get by.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was really really hard, and so I remember.
Speaker 2: But the thing is, and I think at the end
Speaker 2: of all of you know, any kind of these stories,
Speaker 2: there's always you know, if you allow it, you know,
Speaker 2: there are these incredible moments. And so after I lost
Speaker 2: in Beijing, I remember getting on a bus to go
Speaker 2: find my family.
Speaker 4: I didn't want to go to the village, and everybody
Speaker 4: be like, oh, what happened?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I get on this bus to go
Speaker 2: be my family and I get lost, and so I
Speaker 2: jump off the bus because I'm literally like heading the
Speaker 2: wrong direction. And I'm bawling because I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: I'm physically lost. I feel spiritually lost, I'm emotionally lost.
Speaker 2: And when I tell you, I felt the loving arms
Speaker 2: of God wrap his arms around me in Beijing, China,
Speaker 2: on the side of the road.
Speaker 4: It was like I just heard him say, You're forgiven.
Speaker 4: You're forgiven.
Speaker 1: You know what.
Speaker 2: It made me realize that God's love is just is
Speaker 2: first of all, it's so enduring, it's so patient, it's
Speaker 2: so everything.
Speaker 4: It's so kind.
Speaker 2: And God doesn't treat us and love us the way
Speaker 2: we love each other.
Speaker 1: Like God didn't want to punish me, no judging it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: And so in reality, when I and I didn't want
Speaker 2: to run the four by four because I was so broken,
Speaker 2: I went back on the track. We actually got to
Speaker 2: stick behind for the first time ever. When I competed
Speaker 2: for Team USA, and I remember, you know, passing the
Speaker 2: Russian in the final fifty meters of the race, and
Speaker 2: it just felt like the story of God's love, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean. It's like he has us, like
Speaker 2: he's going to see us through to victory, you know,
Speaker 2: if we allow him to love on us. So yeah,
Speaker 2: into like, oh no, it's just and I love that.
Speaker 1: And you don't have me emotional too, because I share
Speaker 1: a similar story, you know, with Deval and I when
Speaker 1: we were younger. I spoke about it in our book
Speaker 1: as well too, where it's like you're forced to make
Speaker 1: this decision where it's like you're with somebody who you love,
Speaker 1: you do see so much. Yeah, and then you have
Speaker 1: a moment where you're just like man, I know that,
Speaker 1: like above all else. And it's so funny. Devin and
Speaker 1: I were having a conversation just while we were on
Speaker 1: a vacation for our anniversary fourteen years and he was
Speaker 1: just like man like he's talking about his acting career
Speaker 1: and like what he can foresee for himself and you know,
Speaker 1: are our what's next And he's just like, you know,
Speaker 1: I said to him, I said, the dream that you
Speaker 1: have to be an actor and that desire, like that's
Speaker 1: all you can think about that's me as a wife
Speaker 1: and mom, Like everything else to me is secondary. This
Speaker 1: is secondary career, Everything is secondary to being a wife
Speaker 1: and mom, Like that's something that was my life's dream.
Speaker 1: So I can completely relate to you in that moment
Speaker 1: where I was like, oh my god, this is the
Speaker 1: person who I absolutely love. We were in college at
Speaker 1: the time, but nobody couldn't tell us that we weren't
Speaker 1: in love. But look here we are twenty two years later,
Speaker 1: and it was a decision that we made because we
Speaker 1: felt like we weren't equipped in that moment. And I've
Speaker 1: played it back in my mind a thousand times, like, Wow,
Speaker 1: if I did go through with it, I know God
Speaker 1: would have provided and found a way for us to
Speaker 1: make things happen and still be okay. But it's such
Speaker 1: a hard position to be, and so I empathize with you.
Speaker 1: I love that you're able to see the bright side
Speaker 1: of it. And fast forward years later, you have your husband,
Speaker 1: your two beautiful sons, so it just tells you that
Speaker 1: all is not lost, and like you said, feeling that
Speaker 1: that loving arm that wrap from God to let you
Speaker 1: know everything was okay and you're still worthy. I love
Speaker 1: that you had that moment because I've had a moment
Speaker 1: very similar to so I didn't even realize that we're
Speaker 1: going to connect on that. But a lot of people,
Speaker 1: I think can relate to situations like that. For sure.
Speaker 1: I'm sure we're not the only women who've been in
Speaker 1: that predicament, So shout out to us. So now fast
Speaker 1: forward to Sonia Richards, Ross, the mom, the wife, the
Speaker 1: new I don't want to say new, but like you said,
Speaker 1: the next phase of what it's looking like for you
Speaker 1: having had track being kind of like your springboard into
Speaker 1: all these things. What was it like for you? Because
Speaker 1: I think that's another thing that we can relate on
Speaker 1: because I ain't no tracks to our child. However, I
Speaker 1: do know what it's like to be married to an athlete,
Speaker 1: an NFL athlete, your husband who you call him Ross,
Speaker 1: So I hear you were saying Ross, So just what
Speaker 1: has it been like for you balancing your successes, your goals,
Speaker 1: your dreams, knowing that he also had his or still
Speaker 1: has his right How do you guys juggle and balance
Speaker 1: that when you both are within your own rights? You know, champions,
Speaker 1: you guys are stars.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, you know the good thing for us.
Speaker 2: And I always tell people this, I don't think I
Speaker 2: could have been married to anybody else because the fact
Speaker 2: that he was an elite athlete and he understood the
Speaker 2: sacrifice and the commitment to sport made our relationship so special,
Speaker 2: you know. And what was great was that our seasons
Speaker 2: were at different times of the year, and so he
Speaker 2: would come and support me, I'd come and support him.
Speaker 2: The first couple, I would say, the first ten fifteen
Speaker 2: years of our relationship was like incredible.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: Where the challenge just came into our marriage was after sports,
Speaker 2: you know, like when the first thing was having a child.
Speaker 4: Didn't nobody didn't nobody want.
Speaker 1: Us, Nobody told you nothing. But you know what it
Speaker 1: is too. I've realized just hearing from from NFL wives,
Speaker 1: specifically those who have had husbands retire and they're home
Speaker 1: all the time. It's like a disruption of the lay
Speaker 1: of the land. You were getting in the way, go
Speaker 1: find something to do, find somewhere to go. Or there's
Speaker 1: also that transitionary period of now I'm retired from athleticism,
Speaker 1: what's the next thing. Fortunately for Deval, he knew that
Speaker 1: for him, football was just a means to an end.
Speaker 1: Let me, try to play the sport, get a free education,
Speaker 1: go to the NFL, get a nest egg, so I
Speaker 1: can start this life and become an actor. That was
Speaker 1: his past. Wow, So it's interesting to hear you say
Speaker 1: that you guys had your issues after Was it something
Speaker 1: similar where Ross was trying to find his way after
Speaker 1: football or was it just the you know, the exy
Speaker 1: flows of life with parenting and stuff.
Speaker 4: I think a little bit of both. So we both
Speaker 4: like both retired.
Speaker 2: So Ross had probably retired about two three years prior
Speaker 2: to us having a child, and I had just retired.
Speaker 2: So I retired in twenty sixteen, baby in twenty seventeen.
Speaker 1: And so you don't waste any time.
Speaker 4: No, No, it was great.
Speaker 1: You knew you're ready.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think it was just a lot of
Speaker 2: things changing at the same time. So we both retired, right,
Speaker 2: we and like you said, now we're living together full time,
Speaker 2: which we hadn't done like the whole our whole marriage.
Speaker 4: We were like, I'm a new rope from you know.
Speaker 2: It's like we were just kind of like, you know,
Speaker 2: obviously we spent a lot of time together, but because
Speaker 2: of our careers, I felt like we we appreciated the
Speaker 2: time together so much because we knew, oh, next weekrobably
Speaker 2: gone for three weeks.
Speaker 1: You know. So now like this long distance relationship situation
Speaker 1: when you have time to miss each other and when
Speaker 1: you get together it's like so.
Speaker 4: Good exactly yeah, I been there, yeah, and it was
Speaker 4: like perfect.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Then so so we have all these life changes. Who
Speaker 2: were both retired, we're living in the same house together.
Speaker 2: And then our son was tough, like when she was born.
Speaker 2: He was like very clingy kid, like very needy kid,
Speaker 2: need a lot from us. I nursed him for three years, wow, exclusively.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: And I think that I had expectations of myself, expectations
Speaker 2: of him and vice versa. That you know, one of
Speaker 2: the things that has made our marriage so successful was
Speaker 2: how well we communicated. And I think we really struggled
Speaker 2: after baby, because when you're trying to communicate stuff about parenting,
Speaker 2: the only thing the person hears is you're not being
Speaker 2: a good dad, You're not being a good mom. And
Speaker 2: it was never that my husband is the best dad.
Speaker 2: Needed him to be a different kind of partner for me, yes,
Speaker 2: you know, and sometimes I don't think I was expressing
Speaker 2: it clearly and vice versa, Like, sure, I think I
Speaker 2: might have been making him feel like he was being
Speaker 2: a bad dad. For sure, I had nothing to do
Speaker 2: with his relationship with Deuce. It was how he was
Speaker 2: supporting me and making me feel.
Speaker 1: And at that time too, when you're a new mom,
Speaker 1: you don't even know half the time what you want
Speaker 1: you to exactly a lot of times just you trying
Speaker 1: to figure out the ebbs and flows of what you're feeling.
Speaker 1: Your hormones are on a thousand, they're up and down.
Speaker 1: So I can totally relate to that moment. But it's
Speaker 1: great that you guys are able to I just find
Speaker 1: your way through that.
Speaker 2: It took us a couple of years and then we
Speaker 2: got on like track. And that's how come we waited
Speaker 2: sometimes to have another one because I didn't want to
Speaker 2: risk it, Like I felt like our marriage, like my
Speaker 2: marriage is the most important thing to me. Yes, outside
Speaker 2: of my relationship with God, it's my It's my marriage
Speaker 2: and my children the most important things to me. And
Speaker 2: so as much as loud as a noise got from
Speaker 2: the outside, you should have another one.
Speaker 4: No, we gonna make sure everything is perfect.
Speaker 1: How many years between two seven years? Six years? See
Speaker 1: and Jackson and Cairo's five years because I think it
Speaker 1: was a similar thing to Another similarity is that we
Speaker 1: two were struggling like those we had a honeymoon baby,
Speaker 1: so we got married, got pregnant, honeymoon and right into
Speaker 1: parenting and this eff are being together for eight years.
Speaker 1: So we had different Yeah, it's so different because we
Speaker 1: had our routine, like we knew who we were.
Speaker 2: It was like a tornado, like are we me and
Speaker 2: Ross were perfect and boom.
Speaker 1: Like a out of nowhere, out of nowhere. And I
Speaker 1: will always say those five those first five years of
Speaker 1: our marriage were the most difficult because we were transitioning.
Speaker 1: And that's why it took five years to have another
Speaker 1: baby between Somebody else can understand how that relate to
Speaker 1: that because we were like, you know. Another thing was like,
Speaker 1: oh you had one kid, like it's been three years,
Speaker 1: it's been four years, it's been five years, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: do we really want to throw another child into the mix?
Speaker 1: Like right now? No, girl, completely, I completely get it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So what's next for you? Sonya? I feel like you
Speaker 1: have so many different things moving and shaking right now.
Speaker 1: I love that for you. I love that you are
Speaker 1: able to kind of check off the goals and the
Speaker 1: dreams that you've had for yourself. So what's it looking
Speaker 1: like for you now moving forward?
Speaker 2: Yeah, So you know, I am in a space in
Speaker 2: my life right now where I, like you said, it's
Speaker 2: my priorities our family. So you know, everything that I
Speaker 2: want to do has to feel like it fits my family.
Speaker 2: It is the best thing for my family, not going
Speaker 2: to disrupt our peace, so our joy and our happiness.
Speaker 2: And so you know, we are focused on like the
Speaker 2: pajama line which we launched, which I was telling you
Speaker 2: all about, which makes me so happy because the pajama
Speaker 2: line feels like the perfect reflection of where my husband
Speaker 2: and I and my family are now. Z.
Speaker 1: Yes, we are intimate, Yes, yeah, on each other exactly. Yeah.
Speaker 2: You know, the idea of family entrepreneurship, creativity, you know,
Speaker 2: and the whole idea of our pajamas is that we
Speaker 2: want to elevate moments and make them lasting memories, you know,
Speaker 2: And so I love to coordinate my family. That's like
Speaker 2: our thing, and so to be able to provide that
Speaker 2: for others, like even we were at the trials and
Speaker 2: we were gifting it to the Team USA because we
Speaker 2: have our team and say.
Speaker 1: Collaboration fire, thank you sidebar.
Speaker 2: Yes, And one of the one of the guys had
Speaker 2: just made the team and his wife and kid they
Speaker 2: were processing with him, and I said.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, do you guys want to do a picture?
Speaker 2: And what I tell you, like I almost got was
Speaker 2: in tears because it's like now he's forever commemorated that
Speaker 2: moment with.
Speaker 1: The people who helped him get there.
Speaker 2: You know, as an Olympian, we know it's not us,
Speaker 2: it's everyone else who's making sacrifices pouring into us that
Speaker 2: helps us to be great. But we're the only ones
Speaker 2: that stand on the podium, you know, we're the ones
Speaker 2: that are that get to be out there. So for me,
Speaker 2: Coordinates is so much more than just a pajama line.
Speaker 2: It's like literally bringing families together, you know, supporting each other,
Speaker 2: like being in community, and like you.
Speaker 1: Know, like it's multi generational too, because you get grandma
Speaker 1: and grandpa, some we.
Speaker 4: Got the dogs. Everybody's included.
Speaker 1: I love that. I love that you mentioned family and
Speaker 1: not disrupting that. Some would beg to differ that your
Speaker 1: appearance on Housewives is the anti of that. How's that
Speaker 1: experience been for.
Speaker 4: You so and they would be right. But you know,
Speaker 4: so this is what I say about that.
Speaker 2: Okay, I feel like, for so long as an athlete,
Speaker 2: and I might get emotional, I feel like, so long
Speaker 2: as an athlete, you know, it's like you have all
Speaker 2: these goals and you put check marks on your board
Speaker 2: and you're just like like, you.
Speaker 1: Know, like I'm gonna do I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 2: And so for me, when Housewives came as an opportunity,
Speaker 2: it felt like that, like, oh, another box I get
Speaker 2: to check, you know. And as as much as I
Speaker 2: went in with the best of intentions getting and I
Speaker 2: was like, Oh, we're going to show black love, We're
Speaker 2: gonna do all these things, I realized after two years
Speaker 2: that that space is not conducive to that. And so
Speaker 2: what I learned from that experience is that Sonya the athlete,
Speaker 2: all the things I learned, everything is not going to
Speaker 2: serve me in this next chapter of my life. I'm
Speaker 2: going to have to pull the good stuff and leave
Speaker 2: some of the stuff that only serve you as an.
Speaker 4: Athlete no more, know what I mean.
Speaker 2: And so I still counted all joy because for me,
Speaker 2: I feel like every experience in life teaches you something,
Speaker 2: and so it was a great experience. I learned a
Speaker 2: lot about myself. You know, I found my tribe inside
Speaker 2: the housewife tribe. You know, a lot of people who
Speaker 2: love on me and support me and never knew who
Speaker 2: I was, and they loved my family.
Speaker 1: So it was great.
Speaker 2: But to be honest, it was a really difficult space
Speaker 2: to be in because I realized now that I am,
Speaker 2: I love people. It's very hard for me to fight
Speaker 2: with people and to do all that stuff right.
Speaker 1: It is warranted because listen when needed, Okay.
Speaker 4: Right, I just I can't.
Speaker 2: I can't just do it just because because and relationships
Speaker 2: matter to me. I love people, and so it was
Speaker 2: a really hard space to navigate.
Speaker 4: As much as I tried to bring all of my.
Speaker 1: All of the goodness, I understand because when they came
Speaker 1: knocking at my door it was the same thing. I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't know if I can exist in
Speaker 1: that space authentically at least, because that's a huge thing
Speaker 1: for Yeah, and that's the huge thing I think for us.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's just I don't know if
Speaker 1: it's is Jamaican roots, I don't know what it is,
Speaker 1: but there's just this living and authenticity that just comes
Speaker 1: so easily, and even just with our platform, which I
Speaker 1: thank to you earlier in the show for just you know,
Speaker 1: loving on me and my family and in the space
Speaker 1: that we're in. You know, you never have to uphold
Speaker 1: the facade when you're living truthfully, you know, in your actual,
Speaker 1: realistic circumstance. And that's why Deval and I are so
Speaker 1: adamant that we can see we see it, you can
Speaker 1: feel that you're in the house. You know, you feel it,
Speaker 1: and that's what people when they do come here, they
Speaker 1: do experience us feel the same from you, and I
Speaker 1: really really thank you, Like I didn't realize how much
Speaker 1: more now I want to get emotional. This wasn't supposed
Speaker 1: to be the thing. I just didn't realize how much
Speaker 1: more we connect. Yeah, and it's it's it's hard to
Speaker 1: find that nowadays. You know, I was even talking to
Speaker 1: someone recently, like being down here in Georgia. You know,
Speaker 1: I don't really have anyone who I just hang with
Speaker 1: and just leisurely can say hey, come by with the kids.
Speaker 1: You know, we have a couple of people here and there,
Speaker 1: But I do you know, think that we have so
Speaker 1: many similarities, so much in common. Our families would probably
Speaker 1: connect really well. So I think this could be the
Speaker 1: start of like a beautiful, you know, friendship situation you
Speaker 1: know a long time. Yeah, I'm saying exactly exactly, but
Speaker 1: it's very rare that you can sit, even in a
Speaker 1: space like this where it was just supposed to be
Speaker 1: an interview, but then you feel like you connect with
Speaker 1: someone so kindred spirit baby, through and through, through and
Speaker 1: through and through and through. Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: your time. We're gonna this actually wouldn't end up going
Speaker 1: longer than I thought. But yeah, all right, y'ah, I
Speaker 1: know it's getting good, but we're going to take a
Speaker 1: quick break and get back to you right after this break.
Speaker 1: So typically on a dead Ass podcast episode, we'll do
Speaker 1: a listener letter where someone writes and we give them
Speaker 1: advice and all that stuff. But I have this burning
Speaker 1: question that I'm trying to ask you only because I
Speaker 1: know that we're on the precipice of what could be. Okay,
Speaker 1: So you've been holding this record for a very long time.
Speaker 1: Was it eighteen years to be exact, ten years? How
Speaker 1: do you feel about this year? Do you feel like
Speaker 1: your record is at risk of being broken?
Speaker 2: So Yes, I've held the American record for the four
Speaker 2: hundred for eighteen years, Yes, which is mind blowing for sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I didn't think when I broke it at eighteen years
Speaker 2: ago that was staying the test of time. I thought
Speaker 2: I was on break it again, to be honest, right
Speaker 2: because it was so.
Speaker 1: Early in my career. That's a competitor, and you two
Speaker 1: always want until.
Speaker 2: I one up yourself break it like ten times after
Speaker 2: before I retired. But but it's just been a joy
Speaker 2: to have it. I do think that it is going
Speaker 2: to get broken very soon. My homeland makes it twenty years,
Speaker 2: so Sydney, just give me, give me.
Speaker 1: Two more years. So you're already putting out there this.
Speaker 4: Yeah Sydney, Yeah, Sidney, Sidney.
Speaker 2: The last race is so funny because my colleagues, so, Okay,
Speaker 2: here's the real deal.
Speaker 1: This is this give this is dead ass, this is transparent.
Speaker 2: The reality is is that I like when I see
Speaker 2: young people like a Sydney and she Cared, I see
Speaker 2: myself in them. So I know what it's like to
Speaker 2: want to like put records on your board, and so
Speaker 2: I feel like, yes, like that record has meant a
Speaker 2: lot to me. But records are meant to be broken,
Speaker 2: So I'm not sitting over here about.
Speaker 1: To be heartbroken for do you think that you're on
Speaker 1: Sydney's vision board with that record? Record is definitely on
Speaker 1: the board, Sidney write in you know as a listener,
Speaker 1: let us know, yes, that records on the board.
Speaker 2: And I mean the last race, I think she ran
Speaker 2: forty eight seventy five. My record is seventy so she
Speaker 2: was only five hundreds off the record.
Speaker 1: That means literally the lean right, sure, for sure.
Speaker 2: But I also think you know what it does is
Speaker 2: I and I are one of my colleagues. The other day,
Speaker 2: Kara Gaucha, who I love to death. She's an Olympian
Speaker 2: and world champion. She said to me, She's like sign
Speaker 2: and think about it. It's been eighteen years and no
Speaker 2: one has been able to run that fast. It tells
Speaker 2: you how good that record was when you rean it
Speaker 2: and there have been so many advancements and spikes and
Speaker 2: tracks and of course there's no goodness and it sounds
Speaker 2: like you know what, It really does give good perspective
Speaker 2: because some of the best athletes to ever compete in
Speaker 2: our sport have been chasing that record and they still
Speaker 2: haven't broken it, ye, So you know I'm gonna just
Speaker 2: keep that I like it, and then when it's gone,
Speaker 2: you know, I've been the second fastest woman to ever run.
Speaker 1: Hord darling to that horror and sitting it as long
Speaker 1: as you can, Okay, whether it's eighteen years, twenty or
Speaker 1: beyond exactly, thank you. So to round things out, we
Speaker 1: normally do a moment of truth. And instead of the
Speaker 1: moment of truth on a day with K I want
Speaker 1: you to tell me something that you're dead ass about. Oh.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think I probably said it, but I'm
Speaker 2: dead as about my family. They don't mess with my family, man,
Speaker 2: And that's a.
Speaker 1: Good man, and that's a good man. I love that.
Speaker 1: I love that so much. Thank you, Thank you for
Speaker 1: for you you did. Yes, it's going to be pulling
Speaker 1: up here in like two minutes. I cannot wait. I
Speaker 1: am surprised.
Speaker 2: I cannot so normally right, okay, And I can't believe
Speaker 2: that I came to the de Vows dead ass and
Speaker 2: and didn't bring y'all a pajama set because you guys.
Speaker 1: You know what now that I hit him about it
Speaker 1: of coordinate, Yes.
Speaker 2: You guys know, seriously, you guys are the epitome of
Speaker 2: what coordinates means. It's all about family. You guys take
Speaker 2: the dopest shots, like even like your pregnancy shot you
Speaker 2: had the blue and the belly was out in the
Speaker 2: gold and stuff like, yeah, you have inspiring the culture
Speaker 2: of it out there.
Speaker 1: You started the maternity family. Yes you did.
Speaker 2: You know you did for sure, Like when I was
Speaker 2: looking for inseration, like your picture was my little movie.
Speaker 1: I love that. So it's on the way. I know
Speaker 1: we've been doing for a long time.
Speaker 2: So it might not be on the episode, but but
Speaker 2: and bringing a whole set for your.
Speaker 1: Family, my goodness, I love Yeah.
Speaker 4: I hope you guys will love them.
Speaker 1: And I know I can't wait to say some photos
Speaker 1: in it too, just because I mean, that's going to
Speaker 1: be the US team.
Speaker 2: Yes, so the pajama of Choice, yes that is yes,
Speaker 2: So the pajama the Team USA collection means that we
Speaker 2: are the official pajama lounger parts of USA. So we
Speaker 2: have we're all of tam USA. So the track team
Speaker 2: has been totally outfitted. That's like, let me say what
Speaker 2: they said.
Speaker 1: It was so funny.
Speaker 2: So the athletes are coming in right and getting their
Speaker 2: tam Usa uniforms for the first time.
Speaker 1: Right, it is the first time they're seeing the designs.
Speaker 2: And then and then people was like where the pajamas at?
Speaker 4: It was so funny, like they were adorable.
Speaker 1: That's exciting. So you guys are going to be a
Speaker 1: love it. I love that for us. Thank you so much?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? And where can everybody find you? For
Speaker 1: those of them? I mean you have to be under
Speaker 1: a rock for the past however many years if you
Speaker 1: don't know who this is. But where can people find
Speaker 1: you if they want to follow and see what's next?
Speaker 1: What's going on?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you can follow me on social I am
Speaker 2: Sonya Richie ri I c hi Ross on all social platforms.
Speaker 4: So you know what I didn't talk to you about.
Speaker 1: I came back and talk to you about it.
Speaker 2: I have a blog called mom Nation, okay, and we
Speaker 2: started the blog about five six years ago, and we
Speaker 2: focus on supporting black moms on their motherhood journey.
Speaker 1: And so we do all I think I do. Follow
Speaker 1: you guys, I do we have to do. We have
Speaker 1: to be more intentional about making sure we connect on
Speaker 1: that level for sure.
Speaker 2: So if you follow mom Nation, you get to see
Speaker 2: and be a part of our community. We have our
Speaker 2: Mammation Gives where we help homeless moms and we do
Speaker 2: a lot of It's like my heart when I became mom,
Speaker 2: I was like, I can't imagine what it's like for
Speaker 2: mothers who lack resources and support, and so I just
Speaker 2: want to keep doing my part to support moms. So
Speaker 2: follow nation, Yes, support nominations, graves, and then of course coordinate,
Speaker 2: said shot Cortness dot com.
Speaker 1: All Right, I love that so much. Thanks y'all for
Speaker 1: joining us today. Such a treat just in time for
Speaker 1: the Olympics that are going to be in Paris. Girl,
Speaker 1: eat it chroissant for me. Yes, come to past, Come
Speaker 1: stay with me. Don't tell me what a good time.
Speaker 1: Because one thing that stay ready, baby, is that passport.
Speaker 4: A day with period Paris wrote it it.
Speaker 1: You can say, baby, stay tuned. There might be a
Speaker 1: part too this all right, all right, all right. And
Speaker 1: even though we did not get to listener letters today,
Speaker 1: we still have listener letters open and we're waiting for
Speaker 1: your emails. So if you want to be featured as
Speaker 1: a listener letter, be sure to email us at dead
Speaker 1: ass Advice at gmail dot com. That's d E. A.
Speaker 1: D A S S A, D V I c E
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com, and be sure to find us
Speaker 1: on Patreon to see exclusive dead Ass podcast video content.
Speaker 1: We have all of the BTS shenanigans right there for
Speaker 1: you guys, including the after show, which is my favorite part,
Speaker 1: and you can find us on social media at dead
Speaker 1: Ass The Podcast. I'm Kadine I am and you can
Speaker 1: still find Huppy when he's not filming at I Am Deval.
Speaker 1: And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate, review,
Speaker 1: and subscribe dead ass y'all.
Speaker 3: Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and
Speaker 3: is produced by Donor, Pinya and Trible. Follow the podcast
Speaker 3: on social media at dead Ass the Podcast and never
Speaker 3: miss a Thing