WEBVTT - #210 All Babies Deserve Life

0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:05.680
<v Speaker 1>All babies, regardless of the circumstance of how they were conceived,

0:00:06.280 --> 0:00:07.640
<v Speaker 1>are a gift from God.

0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:19.440
<v Speaker 2>What's up, everybody?

0:00:19.480 --> 0:00:22.040
<v Speaker 1>Welcome back to the podcast. This is episode two and ten,

0:00:22.160 --> 0:00:25.360
<v Speaker 1>and I've got my little brother Parker joining us, one

0:00:25.360 --> 0:00:28.360
<v Speaker 1>of my favorite guests to be on here answering questions.

0:00:28.760 --> 0:00:30.000
<v Speaker 2>What's up, park what's up? Man?

0:00:30.600 --> 0:00:34.440
<v Speaker 1>We answer your questions. You email Grangersmith podcast at gmail

0:00:34.479 --> 0:00:37.839
<v Speaker 1>dot com and we'll walk through anything you got going on.

0:00:37.920 --> 0:00:40.120
<v Speaker 1>We don't have any notes or we're not prepared. We

0:00:40.159 --> 0:00:44.240
<v Speaker 1>haven't read these questions beforehand. And a lot of exciting

0:00:44.280 --> 0:00:46.879
<v Speaker 1>news coming in the future of this podcast, but right

0:00:46.960 --> 0:00:49.520
<v Speaker 1>now this is still all that it is. Email Grangersmith

0:00:49.560 --> 0:00:55.200
<v Speaker 1>Podcast at gmail dot com. Parker is actually a fellow

0:00:55.560 --> 0:01:00.920
<v Speaker 1>seminarian with me at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and this

0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:04.480
<v Speaker 1>next semester, which we're starting next week, we are in

0:01:04.520 --> 0:01:06.440
<v Speaker 1>the same class together. Yep.

0:01:06.680 --> 0:01:09.399
<v Speaker 2>It's a fire host to the face. It's pretty ridiculous,

0:01:09.560 --> 0:01:11.880
<v Speaker 2>but the fire host to the face, I'm enjoying it.

0:01:14.680 --> 0:01:17.280
<v Speaker 1>The fire host to the face kind of like this podcast.

0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:21.200
<v Speaker 1>Just kidding. First question at random, I'm gonna pull these up.

0:01:21.280 --> 0:01:25.559
<v Speaker 1>Subdecline says saying I love you, and the email says

0:01:25.560 --> 0:01:28.560
<v Speaker 1>this grain your My name is Noel, I'm from Warsaw, Indiana,

0:01:29.160 --> 0:01:31.800
<v Speaker 1>and I love your podcast and music. Side note, that's

0:01:31.840 --> 0:01:34.959
<v Speaker 1>where we got the wood from. This house is the

0:01:34.959 --> 0:01:38.360
<v Speaker 1>old barnwoods from Warsaw. Oh wow yeah, And she says,

0:01:38.680 --> 0:01:41.960
<v Speaker 1>my question is who should I say? Who should say

0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:45.520
<v Speaker 1>I love you first? That's a good one to start

0:01:45.520 --> 0:01:47.039
<v Speaker 1>the podcast. Wow.

0:01:47.440 --> 0:01:51.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, there's a lot of unknowns there. I don't really

0:01:53.120 --> 0:01:54.440
<v Speaker 2>how old are you?

0:01:54.640 --> 0:01:55.880
<v Speaker 1>How long have you been dating?

0:01:57.240 --> 0:02:00.600
<v Speaker 2>Well, i'd say not knowing any of those things. If

0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:02.559
<v Speaker 2>you're just asking me if the guy or the girl

0:02:02.560 --> 0:02:06.040
<v Speaker 2>should say I love you first, Typically it's up to

0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:10.840
<v Speaker 2>the guy to take the initiative to ask the girl

0:02:10.880 --> 0:02:15.440
<v Speaker 2>out in the first place, to use the d word date,

0:02:16.160 --> 0:02:18.440
<v Speaker 2>and to not just say do you want to go

0:02:19.160 --> 0:02:23.240
<v Speaker 2>hang out? Do you want to come over and watch

0:02:23.320 --> 0:02:26.359
<v Speaker 2>a movie? You know, to use that word date. Let's

0:02:26.400 --> 0:02:31.000
<v Speaker 2>the girl know what we're doing, what my expectations should be,

0:02:31.160 --> 0:02:33.919
<v Speaker 2>what your intentions are. Anyway, So all that to say,

0:02:34.000 --> 0:02:37.160
<v Speaker 2>I would say that primarily the guy's responsibility is to

0:02:37.200 --> 0:02:39.920
<v Speaker 2>say I love you first, and if he's not, and

0:02:40.000 --> 0:02:42.480
<v Speaker 2>if this girl is like, where's this going. He still

0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:44.280
<v Speaker 2>hasn't said I love you and it's been so long,

0:02:46.200 --> 0:02:47.240
<v Speaker 2>then that could be a red flog.

0:02:47.720 --> 0:02:50.919
<v Speaker 1>Right, I agree. I think that like Parker said, without

0:02:50.960 --> 0:02:54.360
<v Speaker 1>knowing your situation, Noel, I think those are pretty good guidelines,

0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:56.360
<v Speaker 1>without knowing your age, how long you've been dating, what

0:02:56.440 --> 0:02:58.880
<v Speaker 1>kind of guy, this is, how you feel about him.

0:02:59.160 --> 0:03:03.079
<v Speaker 1>Let's say the guideline are make sure that he's being

0:03:03.120 --> 0:03:05.320
<v Speaker 1>And this is also a message to everyone else that's

0:03:05.480 --> 0:03:13.480
<v Speaker 1>dating be define what you're doing, because it's crazy how uh,

0:03:13.800 --> 0:03:17.079
<v Speaker 1>how people could be misled and think, I don't know

0:03:17.760 --> 0:03:19.560
<v Speaker 1>if where what this is. I don't know if this

0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:23.160
<v Speaker 1>is he's just a friend, or if he just likes

0:03:23.160 --> 0:03:25.120
<v Speaker 1>hanging out with me. Maybe he likes my brother, he

0:03:25.240 --> 0:03:28.160
<v Speaker 1>likes he thinks my dad's cool. I don't I can't

0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:30.920
<v Speaker 1>figure this out. So guys, define what you're doing. Like

0:03:30.960 --> 0:03:34.120
<v Speaker 1>Parker said, just say date or go steady or go

0:03:34.440 --> 0:03:36.000
<v Speaker 1>where you go with me? Is what we used to say,

0:03:36.000 --> 0:03:37.720
<v Speaker 1>like in junior, h will you go with me? And

0:03:37.760 --> 0:03:41.320
<v Speaker 1>everyone just knew what that meant. But define it. And

0:03:41.400 --> 0:03:44.920
<v Speaker 1>then after you define it, then Noel won't have to

0:03:44.960 --> 0:03:47.600
<v Speaker 1>worry about where this is going, and she'll just know

0:03:47.640 --> 0:03:50.840
<v Speaker 1>if you guys really like each other that maybe one

0:03:50.880 --> 0:03:51.840
<v Speaker 1>day he'll say I love you.

0:03:52.400 --> 0:03:55.440
<v Speaker 2>One thing that my now wife and I did as well,

0:03:55.480 --> 0:03:59.680
<v Speaker 2>that's gonna be pretty old school to some people, is

0:04:00.680 --> 0:04:03.000
<v Speaker 2>we decided when we started dating that we weren't going

0:04:03.080 --> 0:04:06.200
<v Speaker 2>to use the word love until if and when we

0:04:06.200 --> 0:04:09.640
<v Speaker 2>were engaged. That was just kind of a I didn't

0:04:09.680 --> 0:04:11.840
<v Speaker 2>say when we get engaged, I'll say it because I

0:04:11.880 --> 0:04:13.200
<v Speaker 2>didn't know if I was going to marry her or

0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:15.640
<v Speaker 2>not yet. But we both just came to the consensus

0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:20.719
<v Speaker 2>that let's not say I love you until if and

0:04:20.760 --> 0:04:24.480
<v Speaker 2>when that point happens. Of if you just think about

0:04:23.920 --> 0:04:27.000
<v Speaker 2>what love is and how we just use it so

0:04:27.080 --> 0:04:33.120
<v Speaker 2>flippantly today, I think that there should be a sort

0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:36.640
<v Speaker 2>of retraction of that word and a reverence and meaning

0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:41.000
<v Speaker 2>behind it before you just start giving your heart away

0:04:41.040 --> 0:04:42.839
<v Speaker 2>and start using that word flippantly.

0:04:43.320 --> 0:04:45.240
<v Speaker 1>Totally agree. Tell them what else you did when you

0:04:45.320 --> 0:04:48.760
<v Speaker 1>and name you were dating or yeah, engaged, I guess

0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:49.800
<v Speaker 1>all through it.

0:04:51.760 --> 0:04:54.880
<v Speaker 2>Of just not kissing, yeah, yeah, yeah, we just decided

0:04:54.920 --> 0:05:01.760
<v Speaker 2>not to not to kiss, and which sounds crazy to

0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:03.799
<v Speaker 2>even say it out out, And I just hear everybody

0:05:04.279 --> 0:05:08.279
<v Speaker 2>rolling their eyes, who are listening. But yeah, when I

0:05:08.320 --> 0:05:10.960
<v Speaker 2>became a Christian, and you know, the question that you

0:05:11.040 --> 0:05:13.600
<v Speaker 2>hear all the time is how far can I go

0:05:13.640 --> 0:05:19.040
<v Speaker 2>with my girlfriend and it not be sin? And the

0:05:19.320 --> 0:05:22.800
<v Speaker 2>posture of that question, when I thought about it long enough,

0:05:22.960 --> 0:05:26.400
<v Speaker 2>was how close can I get to the edge of

0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:30.320
<v Speaker 2>this cliff by then not fall off? Or another way

0:05:30.360 --> 0:05:35.279
<v Speaker 2>putting it, how far away can I get away from God?

0:05:35.400 --> 0:05:40.839
<v Speaker 2>But still say under his good graces and so and

0:05:40.920 --> 0:05:45.760
<v Speaker 2>so it's just kind of torture to to be physically

0:05:45.800 --> 0:05:49.240
<v Speaker 2>intimate with your significant other, even if you're not going

0:05:49.320 --> 0:05:53.800
<v Speaker 2>to have sex, because it's just going to make it

0:05:53.839 --> 0:05:56.799
<v Speaker 2>that much more difficult to stop. And so we just honestly,

0:05:56.880 --> 0:06:00.560
<v Speaker 2>it's it was so freeing to just say we're not

0:06:00.800 --> 0:06:05.240
<v Speaker 2>going to kiss at all, and it made everything else

0:06:05.240 --> 0:06:08.919
<v Speaker 2>so much easier because when you cut off that the

0:06:09.960 --> 0:06:14.200
<v Speaker 2>emotional rollercoaster that comes from being physically intimate with someone,

0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:16.560
<v Speaker 2>you're able to think so much more soberly when you

0:06:16.600 --> 0:06:20.360
<v Speaker 2>are deciding if they're going to be your future husband

0:06:20.400 --> 0:06:20.799
<v Speaker 2>or wife.

0:06:21.800 --> 0:06:24.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think that's amazing. And then it also helps

0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:29.640
<v Speaker 1>expedite the engagement process. Yeah, true, right, It's like you

0:06:30.040 --> 0:06:31.800
<v Speaker 1>don't want to set your engagement for a year and

0:06:31.839 --> 0:06:34.400
<v Speaker 1>a half. Two years from now, you're like, man, let's

0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:36.880
<v Speaker 1>get this thing rolling. I really want to kiss this girl.

0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:40.080
<v Speaker 1>But let me say this. Let me say this. There's

0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:41.799
<v Speaker 1>a lot of people that I know what they're thinking.

0:06:41.880 --> 0:06:44.719
<v Speaker 1>A lot of people are thinking, man, you don't really

0:06:44.760 --> 0:06:49.279
<v Speaker 1>know somebody. You can't truly have that connection until you're

0:06:49.279 --> 0:06:53.120
<v Speaker 1>intimate with somebody. What do you say to that argument, Yeah, that's.

0:06:52.960 --> 0:06:57.280
<v Speaker 2>Just not true. If anything, you're able to be more

0:06:57.279 --> 0:07:02.040
<v Speaker 2>intimate because you're not blinded bomb all of the chemicals

0:07:02.160 --> 0:07:04.839
<v Speaker 2>that come in your mind when you have sex with somebody,

0:07:04.880 --> 0:07:08.680
<v Speaker 2>Like our brains are wired to bond to the thing,

0:07:09.279 --> 0:07:12.080
<v Speaker 2>to the to the other human that we're having sex with,

0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:15.320
<v Speaker 2>and when you do that with someone that you're not

0:07:15.360 --> 0:07:18.000
<v Speaker 2>married to, it just starts to get in all of

0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:20.560
<v Speaker 2>these other factors and you start to get blinded by

0:07:20.600 --> 0:07:23.200
<v Speaker 2>other things because you just become love drunk with this

0:07:23.240 --> 0:07:26.400
<v Speaker 2>person and addicted to this physical feeling whether rather than

0:07:27.040 --> 0:07:30.120
<v Speaker 2>who they are, who they are as a person, and

0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:32.200
<v Speaker 2>you get to know them I think so much better.

0:07:32.200 --> 0:07:33.520
<v Speaker 2>And then the other thing with that is, you know,

0:07:33.600 --> 0:07:35.240
<v Speaker 2>you hear people say you got to test drive the

0:07:35.280 --> 0:07:38.480
<v Speaker 2>car and it's like we're literally comparing other human beings

0:07:38.880 --> 0:07:43.560
<v Speaker 2>to vehicles that are supposed to be used. So yeah,

0:07:43.560 --> 0:07:46.560
<v Speaker 2>I just I just don't think it's true that that

0:07:47.200 --> 0:07:50.240
<v Speaker 2>you need to be able to be physically intimate with

0:07:50.280 --> 0:07:51.480
<v Speaker 2>someone to get to know them better. And then the

0:07:51.480 --> 0:07:54.720
<v Speaker 2>other thing is it's like, like you said, you know

0:07:54.720 --> 0:07:57.800
<v Speaker 2>there's people out there that you know, this is very

0:07:57.800 --> 0:07:59.640
<v Speaker 2>sensitive topic, and so I don't I don't want to

0:07:59.640 --> 0:08:03.600
<v Speaker 2>come up overly judgmental, but just genuinely empathizing with someone

0:08:03.600 --> 0:08:06.040
<v Speaker 2>who's been living with their significant other for a long time.

0:08:06.080 --> 0:08:09.720
<v Speaker 2>It's like, like you said, why would they want to

0:08:09.720 --> 0:08:12.600
<v Speaker 2>get married? You know, they're already having sex, they're already

0:08:12.640 --> 0:08:16.520
<v Speaker 2>living together, they may already have children together. What's the point.

0:08:16.880 --> 0:08:18.880
<v Speaker 2>What's the point of getting married at that point? You know,

0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:25.440
<v Speaker 2>there's there's no there's no boundaries for the marriage covenant

0:08:25.440 --> 0:08:25.840
<v Speaker 2>at that point.

0:08:25.880 --> 0:08:28.560
<v Speaker 1>In my mind, it's great, man, I don't have anything

0:08:28.600 --> 0:08:31.040
<v Speaker 1>to add to that. What I heard you say essentially

0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:36.640
<v Speaker 1>was a mature relationship should drive intimacy, not the other

0:08:36.640 --> 0:08:41.160
<v Speaker 1>way around, because you're saying because people will argue, no,

0:08:41.440 --> 0:08:44.079
<v Speaker 1>you can't know somebody, you can't have a good relationship

0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:46.119
<v Speaker 1>to your intimate you're saying, no, it's the other way around.

0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:46.439
<v Speaker 2>You.

0:08:46.720 --> 0:08:51.319
<v Speaker 1>You establish a mature relationship, and that that will determine

0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:54.000
<v Speaker 1>a lot of other things, including intimacy is one of them,

0:08:55.080 --> 0:08:58.160
<v Speaker 1>and the world says the opposite. The world says, intimacy

0:08:58.280 --> 0:09:02.520
<v Speaker 1>then creates a mature relation. Well, guess what the world

0:09:02.520 --> 0:09:05.480
<v Speaker 1>has a track record to that. That's not very good.

0:09:05.920 --> 0:09:10.720
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, man, yeah, the world says to focus everything

0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:14.520
<v Speaker 2>on the sexual relationship, to the physical attributes, and then

0:09:14.559 --> 0:09:18.199
<v Speaker 2>the other stuff comes later. And it's just like, man,

0:09:18.480 --> 0:09:20.960
<v Speaker 2>when you're married. When you're married, that red hot love

0:09:21.000 --> 0:09:23.680
<v Speaker 2>is going to wear off very quickly. And if that's

0:09:23.720 --> 0:09:26.440
<v Speaker 2>what the foundation is, then you know what are you

0:09:26.559 --> 0:09:29.520
<v Speaker 2>left with that's not just the physical intimacy.

0:09:29.080 --> 0:09:33.280
<v Speaker 1>Love it Let me move on. Then we're going to

0:09:33.320 --> 0:09:35.720
<v Speaker 1>go to like because I could tell by these subjectlines,

0:09:35.720 --> 0:09:37.720
<v Speaker 1>we're all over the map here on this episode. And

0:09:37.760 --> 0:09:43.320
<v Speaker 1>that's good. This next question, Subdecline says leaving organized religion. Hey, Granger,

0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:45.560
<v Speaker 1>I was born and raised in the Mormon Church, Church

0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:48.800
<v Speaker 1>of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. Within the last year,

0:09:48.840 --> 0:09:50.960
<v Speaker 1>my husband and I decided to leave, and I'm so

0:09:51.000 --> 0:09:54.080
<v Speaker 1>grateful we did not become like most of our other

0:09:54.200 --> 0:09:57.360
<v Speaker 1>members who leave and walk away from Jesus all together.

0:09:57.800 --> 0:10:01.360
<v Speaker 1>We are now attending SMCC South Mountain Community Church in

0:10:01.440 --> 0:10:04.000
<v Speaker 1>Saint George, Utah. We absolutely love it and we're so

0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:08.240
<v Speaker 1>grateful we found it. Deconstructing everything that you've ever known

0:10:08.320 --> 0:10:10.480
<v Speaker 1>is very hard, and with that being said, my mom

0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:13.160
<v Speaker 1>is still a devout member of the church. My dad

0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:15.400
<v Speaker 1>has never been a member, but has recently started going

0:10:15.440 --> 0:10:17.679
<v Speaker 1>to church with her in the last two years. When

0:10:17.760 --> 0:10:19.520
<v Speaker 1>I told her that we would be leaving the church,

0:10:19.559 --> 0:10:23.040
<v Speaker 1>she was heartbroken. I'm the third of her children to leave.

0:10:23.160 --> 0:10:25.559
<v Speaker 1>My older brother and my younger sister have also left,

0:10:26.080 --> 0:10:29.640
<v Speaker 1>leaving just my two younger siblings who live at home

0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:33.320
<v Speaker 1>in the church with her. I don't know if you

0:10:33.440 --> 0:10:36.240
<v Speaker 1>know anything about the Mormon Church, but having left, I

0:10:36.320 --> 0:10:39.640
<v Speaker 1>now believe it's a horrible organization and they were worshiping

0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:42.480
<v Speaker 1>a Christ who cannot save them. Any advice on how

0:10:42.520 --> 0:10:44.920
<v Speaker 1>we should just be an example to them, or how

0:10:45.000 --> 0:10:48.360
<v Speaker 1>to share a little teaching of God that can help

0:10:48.440 --> 0:10:51.079
<v Speaker 1>them realize that they are that they are in need

0:10:51.120 --> 0:10:54.680
<v Speaker 1>to take the blinders off. It is heartbreaking to watch

0:10:55.960 --> 0:11:00.199
<v Speaker 1>finally being on the outside. Thank you, Anonymous. All right, Hey,

0:11:00.200 --> 0:11:03.120
<v Speaker 1>thanks for the email, Anonymous, and let's dive into this.

0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:11.280
<v Speaker 1>It's a lot and a lot that I cannot empathize with.

0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:19.800
<v Speaker 1>I do know a lot about the LDS church, Parker knows.

0:11:19.840 --> 0:11:22.840
<v Speaker 1>I've studied a lot about this, not as much. I

0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:24.720
<v Speaker 1>don't know as much as you do, but I have

0:11:24.760 --> 0:11:27.480
<v Speaker 1>spent a significant amount of time in Utah and and

0:11:27.600 --> 0:11:30.400
<v Speaker 1>have a good deal of friends from that church that

0:11:30.720 --> 0:11:35.440
<v Speaker 1>we talk on the regular with. I want to give

0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:39.679
<v Speaker 1>a warning first with your email, because I want to

0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:42.280
<v Speaker 1>kind of caution you on everything that you said and

0:11:42.320 --> 0:11:44.440
<v Speaker 1>make sure that we're just kind of slightly tapping the

0:11:44.440 --> 0:11:48.679
<v Speaker 1>brakes here. And the first thing that I immediately thought of

0:11:48.720 --> 0:11:53.240
<v Speaker 1>with some caution. First of all, grateful, grateful for your email,

0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:57.959
<v Speaker 1>you know, but you said, I'm so grateful we did

0:11:57.960 --> 0:12:00.559
<v Speaker 1>not become like the other members who leave and walk

0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:02.760
<v Speaker 1>away from Jesus all together. Like right there, I just

0:12:02.800 --> 0:12:06.360
<v Speaker 1>heard I heard the tax collector in the Pharisee parable

0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:08.880
<v Speaker 1>come up in my head where it's like, thank goodness,

0:12:08.960 --> 0:12:12.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm not like that guy. Like that tax collector. You know,

0:12:12.480 --> 0:12:17.800
<v Speaker 1>we tie, we're good people. We've made the right decisions.

0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:22.360
<v Speaker 1>We chose the right path. We studied enough, we know

0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:24.920
<v Speaker 1>enough of the Bible. Now we've come to see the light.

0:12:25.000 --> 0:12:29.240
<v Speaker 1>We've unfolded our own blinders. Basically, thank goodness, we're not

0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:32.360
<v Speaker 1>like that tax collector. It's that's literally what the parable is.

0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:34.960
<v Speaker 1>And then in the parable, the tax collector is beating

0:12:35.000 --> 0:12:40.160
<v Speaker 1>his chest, looking down and downcast, and he says, have

0:12:40.280 --> 0:12:44.840
<v Speaker 1>mercy on me, a sinner. And then Jesus says, I

0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:48.400
<v Speaker 1>tell you who was justified with him, not the Pharisee.

0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:51.760
<v Speaker 1>So I'm not comparing you to that. I'm just saying,

0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:55.480
<v Speaker 1>let's caution ourselves with ever looking at anyone else and going, ha,

0:12:56.200 --> 0:12:59.560
<v Speaker 1>so God, I'm not that guy. I've been doing really good. Okay.

0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:03.280
<v Speaker 1>Second of all, I want to I want to acknowledge

0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:06.920
<v Speaker 1>the how difficult it must be, like you said, to

0:13:07.480 --> 0:13:12.960
<v Speaker 1>go against your parents, what you're calling organized religion, very difficult.

0:13:14.720 --> 0:13:16.439
<v Speaker 1>And then we'll get to the heart of the email.

0:13:17.120 --> 0:13:20.720
<v Speaker 1>And that's when you're asking any advice. This is what

0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:22.640
<v Speaker 1>your question is. Any advice on how we could just

0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:25.240
<v Speaker 1>be an example to them or share it to them

0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:28.360
<v Speaker 1>at a little teaching of God that could help them

0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:31.440
<v Speaker 1>realize they need to take the blinders off. That's what

0:13:31.480 --> 0:13:35.559
<v Speaker 1>you said. That's your question, and so a couple thoughts

0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:39.600
<v Speaker 1>I'll let Parker dig into. First thought is you cannot

0:13:39.640 --> 0:13:43.120
<v Speaker 1>take the blinders off. You didn't and no one else can.

0:13:43.400 --> 0:13:46.400
<v Speaker 1>It's not within your power. That's when within the power

0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:49.520
<v Speaker 1>of a sovereign God. We have a responsibility, as Parker

0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:52.440
<v Speaker 1>and I just actually looked at today or yesterday when

0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:57.200
<v Speaker 1>Amy sent that, we have the responsibility to believe, but

0:13:57.320 --> 0:13:59.800
<v Speaker 1>we cannot take blinders off. Jesus says in John three

0:13:59.840 --> 0:14:02.319
<v Speaker 1>that a man must be born again to enter the

0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:05.360
<v Speaker 1>Kingdom of heaven. And you and me and everyone else

0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:09.800
<v Speaker 1>didn't contribute to our first birth, so why would we

0:14:09.880 --> 0:14:12.040
<v Speaker 1>contribute to our second birth. We don't have a power

0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:16.600
<v Speaker 1>in that. So you can't take the blinders off. Why

0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:18.559
<v Speaker 1>am I saying all this to you, Well, I'm saying

0:14:18.559 --> 0:14:23.200
<v Speaker 1>it because I want to feel from you, anonymous. I

0:14:23.280 --> 0:14:28.440
<v Speaker 1>just want to feel a love for the members of

0:14:28.440 --> 0:14:33.760
<v Speaker 1>that church, because if you come in with this pharisee

0:14:33.760 --> 0:14:37.320
<v Speaker 1>idea of come on, man, you gotta teat what can

0:14:37.360 --> 0:14:41.960
<v Speaker 1>I teach you to learn that you're wrong? You're You're

0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:44.360
<v Speaker 1>a horrible this is your words. It's a horrible organization.

0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:47.760
<v Speaker 1>You're worshiping, worshiping at Christ. You cannot save that right there.

0:14:47.800 --> 0:14:50.680
<v Speaker 1>That attitude, I promise you, doesn't do anything for anybody

0:14:50.920 --> 0:14:53.200
<v Speaker 1>besides just turn them off and say, well, I'm done

0:14:53.240 --> 0:15:00.120
<v Speaker 1>talking to anonymous. And and you're zealous. I understand and

0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:01.840
<v Speaker 1>that and that's kind of part of this deal too.

0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:05.240
<v Speaker 1>But you're asking me any advice on how we could

0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:10.240
<v Speaker 1>be an example to them, love them, love them, and

0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:16.120
<v Speaker 1>through that love, you could share your witness and share the.

0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:17.240
<v Speaker 2>Gospel with them.

0:15:17.640 --> 0:15:21.640
<v Speaker 1>And that's it. You share the gospel embedded in the

0:15:21.720 --> 0:15:24.680
<v Speaker 1>love that you have. I mentioned that I have a

0:15:24.720 --> 0:15:27.720
<v Speaker 1>lot of friends from that church. Well I have to.

0:15:28.040 --> 0:15:32.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm always friends with the current missionaries in my area,

0:15:33.240 --> 0:15:37.400
<v Speaker 1>which is Georgetown, Texas. And so the two the two

0:15:37.520 --> 0:15:40.240
<v Speaker 1>elders that are missionaries in Georgetown, Texas, I'm friends with

0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:42.840
<v Speaker 1>them right now, and they're actually coming to the house tomorrow.

0:15:43.840 --> 0:15:46.720
<v Speaker 1>They're coming over tomorrow. One of them wants a signed

0:15:46.720 --> 0:15:48.960
<v Speaker 1>copy of La a River. That's that's part of the reason.

0:15:48.960 --> 0:15:51.360
<v Speaker 1>But this would be the second time that they come over.

0:15:51.880 --> 0:15:54.360
<v Speaker 1>And man, I love those guys. I love those guys.

0:15:54.880 --> 0:16:00.240
<v Speaker 1>I love I love hosting them, serving them and telling

0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:04.520
<v Speaker 1>him the gospel and evangelizing to them. And one thing

0:16:04.560 --> 0:16:07.800
<v Speaker 1>I don't do within that conversation is say you know

0:16:07.840 --> 0:16:09.440
<v Speaker 1>you're part of a horrible organization.

0:16:10.640 --> 0:16:13.080
<v Speaker 2>I don't say that, Parker. What you got for this,

0:16:13.880 --> 0:16:16.280
<v Speaker 2>I don't have much sad. I think that what you're

0:16:16.320 --> 0:16:21.600
<v Speaker 2>saying is to just to approach her salvation first of

0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:28.280
<v Speaker 2>all with just really just humble gratitude of just like God,

0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:31.360
<v Speaker 2>I know better than them. I was so blind and

0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:34.120
<v Speaker 2>you saved me when I didn't deserve it. And then

0:16:34.160 --> 0:16:38.200
<v Speaker 2>when you have that posture coupled with you know, your parents'

0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:42.520
<v Speaker 2>salvation is not ultimately your response ability. If they don't

0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:45.760
<v Speaker 2>get saved, if your friends in the LEDs Church don't

0:16:45.760 --> 0:16:49.000
<v Speaker 2>get saved to you evangelized too, you're not a failure.

0:16:49.960 --> 0:16:54.240
<v Speaker 2>Your job as a born again believer in Christ is

0:16:54.280 --> 0:16:59.400
<v Speaker 2>to just lovingly share that truth of who Jesus is

0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:04.240
<v Speaker 2>what you call to do, and pray. You can pray

0:17:04.320 --> 0:17:06.320
<v Speaker 2>for your parents, you can pray for your friends there,

0:17:07.240 --> 0:17:11.680
<v Speaker 2>and you can rest knowing that, like you said, salvation

0:17:11.960 --> 0:17:19.520
<v Speaker 2>is the Lord's and throughout that have a posture of

0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:21.960
<v Speaker 2>Paul's words of you know such were some of you,

0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:26.199
<v Speaker 2>and so you don't ever just beat them over the

0:17:26.240 --> 0:17:32.560
<v Speaker 2>head with it, only approach it with a posture of humility, thinking, man,

0:17:32.680 --> 0:17:35.440
<v Speaker 2>I was blind too, and who are people who tried

0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:37.640
<v Speaker 2>to share the truth with me and I turned them away?

0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:40.800
<v Speaker 2>And so and then also just living that example out

0:17:41.080 --> 0:17:43.280
<v Speaker 2>and loving loving them. Well, it's great.

0:17:43.400 --> 0:17:46.320
<v Speaker 1>This podcast has actually opened a lot of doors of

0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:49.440
<v Speaker 1>conversation between me and the LDS Church and a lot

0:17:49.480 --> 0:17:53.239
<v Speaker 1>of the friendships that I have, like text basis relationships

0:17:53.280 --> 0:17:56.119
<v Speaker 1>started really from this podcast from the past years. And

0:17:56.200 --> 0:17:58.840
<v Speaker 1>so if anyone's listening now from the church and wants

0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:02.359
<v Speaker 1>to email me Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com to

0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:05.920
<v Speaker 1>to have any kind of discussion, the dialogue is open.

0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:09.520
<v Speaker 1>Love you and love your church as well. Also love

0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:11.800
<v Speaker 1>the state of Utah. What a beautiful place and I've

0:18:12.040 --> 0:18:15.560
<v Speaker 1>I've loved so many years traveling there with music Park.

0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:17.120
<v Speaker 1>I think we have a time if we could get

0:18:17.200 --> 0:18:18.919
<v Speaker 1>one more in just a few minutes, and we'll take

0:18:18.960 --> 0:18:25.080
<v Speaker 1>a break. You know what, I don't know if we

0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:30.080
<v Speaker 1>can these these scene Let me take a break, because

0:18:30.080 --> 0:18:32.160
<v Speaker 1>these I don't I want to give everybody the full time,

0:18:32.200 --> 0:18:32.560
<v Speaker 1>so we'll.

0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:33.440
<v Speaker 2>Take a break and bear it back.

0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:39.040
<v Speaker 1>I haven't really told anybody this yet, but we are

0:18:39.040 --> 0:18:41.920
<v Speaker 1>building a brand new Grangersmith dot com, all new, and

0:18:42.240 --> 0:18:46.040
<v Speaker 1>we decided to build it on to Shopify. So we

0:18:46.119 --> 0:18:48.320
<v Speaker 1>had the idea that just in case, you know, we

0:18:48.400 --> 0:18:50.439
<v Speaker 1>need to be able to sell like a River books

0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:54.440
<v Speaker 1>on my website, we would use Shopify. And Shopify something

0:18:54.480 --> 0:18:57.879
<v Speaker 1>we've used for a long long time and we found

0:18:57.880 --> 0:19:00.440
<v Speaker 1>it when we just didn't know where to where else

0:19:00.440 --> 0:19:03.560
<v Speaker 1>to turn on the in the digital marketplace to sell

0:19:03.600 --> 0:19:07.280
<v Speaker 1>any kind of e commerce. Shopify is the commerce platform

0:19:07.320 --> 0:19:12.560
<v Speaker 1>revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide, just like me and EEE Apparel.

0:19:12.680 --> 0:19:16.280
<v Speaker 1>So whether you're just a garage entrepreneur or IP already,

0:19:16.600 --> 0:19:19.440
<v Speaker 1>Shopify is the only tool you need to start, run

0:19:19.480 --> 0:19:22.800
<v Speaker 1>and grow your business without the struggle. Shopify puts you

0:19:22.840 --> 0:19:26.000
<v Speaker 1>in control of every single sales channel. So whether you're

0:19:26.040 --> 0:19:29.960
<v Speaker 1>selling satin sheets from shopifies in person POS system or

0:19:30.040 --> 0:19:33.760
<v Speaker 1>offering organic olive oil on Shopifies, all in one e

0:19:33.800 --> 0:19:37.440
<v Speaker 1>commerce platform, you're covered. And once you reach your audience,

0:19:37.520 --> 0:19:41.080
<v Speaker 1>Shopify has the Internet's best converting checkout to help you

0:19:41.200 --> 0:19:44.520
<v Speaker 1>turn them from browsers to buyers. And that's why I'm

0:19:44.520 --> 0:19:48.720
<v Speaker 1>building a new grangersmith dot Com on top of Shopify's platform.

0:19:49.040 --> 0:19:51.920
<v Speaker 1>Shopify powers ten percent of all e commerce in the

0:19:52.080 --> 0:19:55.359
<v Speaker 1>entire United States, and Shopify is truly a global force,

0:19:55.840 --> 0:19:59.600
<v Speaker 1>powering all Birds, Rothies and Brook Lennon and millions of

0:19:59.600 --> 0:20:03.199
<v Speaker 1>other entrepreneurs of every size across the globe over one

0:20:03.280 --> 0:20:07.359
<v Speaker 1>hundred and seventy countries plus Shopify's award winning help is

0:20:07.400 --> 0:20:10.160
<v Speaker 1>there to support your success every step of the way.

0:20:10.760 --> 0:20:14.480
<v Speaker 1>This is Possibility towered by Shopify. Sign in for a

0:20:14.520 --> 0:20:18.359
<v Speaker 1>one dollar per month trial period at shopify dot com

0:20:18.400 --> 0:20:22.800
<v Speaker 1>slash granger all lowercase go to shopify dot com slash

0:20:22.880 --> 0:20:25.679
<v Speaker 1>granger to take your business to the next level today

0:20:25.800 --> 0:20:30.440
<v Speaker 1>Shopify dot com slash Granger. We had our EE Apparel

0:20:30.520 --> 0:20:33.240
<v Speaker 1>fall launch and this is my favorite lunch we've ever done.

0:20:33.440 --> 0:20:36.199
<v Speaker 1>I love the new concealed jacket that we have. It

0:20:36.280 --> 0:20:39.600
<v Speaker 1>looks really nice and there's like a zip up soft

0:20:39.640 --> 0:20:43.520
<v Speaker 1>shell jacket that's a desert camo that I love, and

0:20:43.560 --> 0:20:45.840
<v Speaker 1>then a couple of the hats that are just crushing

0:20:45.880 --> 0:20:48.199
<v Speaker 1>it for me. Anyway, I'm really excited about that. You

0:20:48.200 --> 0:20:50.399
<v Speaker 1>could find out if we have anything left at that

0:20:50.480 --> 0:20:54.639
<v Speaker 1>fall launch at EEEE dot com and go check it

0:20:54.640 --> 0:20:56.639
<v Speaker 1>out for yourself. And then finally if you need a

0:20:56.680 --> 0:21:00.840
<v Speaker 1>message from me personally custom made for you on my

0:21:00.960 --> 0:21:03.480
<v Speaker 1>cell phone, you could do that through cameo dot com

0:21:03.520 --> 0:21:07.040
<v Speaker 1>slash Granger Smith. A lot of people will email and say, hey, man,

0:21:07.119 --> 0:21:11.080
<v Speaker 1>how could I get a personalized message for my girlfriend

0:21:11.080 --> 0:21:15.560
<v Speaker 1>that granger says happy birthday or happy anniversary to my wife?

0:21:15.680 --> 0:21:18.320
<v Speaker 1>Or how could I get a message to my son

0:21:18.640 --> 0:21:22.320
<v Speaker 1>to tell them congratulations on finishing school or starting school,

0:21:22.640 --> 0:21:25.200
<v Speaker 1>And always say, well, it's super easy. Cameo dot com

0:21:25.240 --> 0:21:28.280
<v Speaker 1>slash Granger Smith, or download the cameo app and search

0:21:28.320 --> 0:21:30.840
<v Speaker 1>for me Granger Smith. It's super easy. You fill out

0:21:30.840 --> 0:21:33.199
<v Speaker 1>the little form, it shoots a message to me, and

0:21:33.240 --> 0:21:36.160
<v Speaker 1>it says, this person wants you to wish their son

0:21:36.200 --> 0:21:38.520
<v Speaker 1>a happy birthday. Here's his name, here's what he's into,

0:21:38.640 --> 0:21:41.360
<v Speaker 1>here's why he likes you. I could read that easily,

0:21:41.400 --> 0:21:45.000
<v Speaker 1>pull out my phone, put on the selfie cam, and

0:21:45.040 --> 0:21:48.159
<v Speaker 1>then make some kind of message. However you want me

0:21:48.200 --> 0:21:51.440
<v Speaker 1>to do it and send straight to you. So that's

0:21:51.480 --> 0:21:53.200
<v Speaker 1>an easy thing to do, especially if you have someone

0:21:53.200 --> 0:21:54.640
<v Speaker 1>you want to buy a gift for that you don't

0:21:54.640 --> 0:21:56.920
<v Speaker 1>really know. They kind of have everything and you don't

0:21:56.920 --> 0:21:58.720
<v Speaker 1>really know what to get them, or it's last minute,

0:21:58.720 --> 0:22:01.320
<v Speaker 1>maybe you miss their birthday or getting ready for the

0:22:01.359 --> 0:22:04.479
<v Speaker 1>holidays coming up. Kennyo is a great thing. I've done

0:22:04.520 --> 0:22:09.080
<v Speaker 1>it for probably five years now and it seems to

0:22:09.119 --> 0:22:11.480
<v Speaker 1>be just a great tool for someone to get a

0:22:11.520 --> 0:22:19.600
<v Speaker 1>quick message from me. Okay, back to the podcast. Back

0:22:19.640 --> 0:22:23.240
<v Speaker 1>to the podcast here, and this is an interesting subject

0:22:23.280 --> 0:22:25.760
<v Speaker 1>line here it says, how do I know if I'm

0:22:25.800 --> 0:22:28.480
<v Speaker 1>still in love with my wife? Hey Granger, my name

0:22:28.520 --> 0:22:30.680
<v Speaker 1>is Daniel. I'm twenty seven. I've been with my wife

0:22:30.720 --> 0:22:33.240
<v Speaker 1>since high school twenty eleven. We got married five years ago.

0:22:33.600 --> 0:22:37.119
<v Speaker 1>We had our son three years ago, and since the

0:22:37.160 --> 0:22:41.120
<v Speaker 1>birth of my son, something within her changed. It started slowly,

0:22:41.240 --> 0:22:44.080
<v Speaker 1>but she would go out with her girlfriends once a month,

0:22:44.200 --> 0:22:46.720
<v Speaker 1>and then every other week, and then that progressed into

0:22:46.760 --> 0:22:49.680
<v Speaker 1>a weekly thing. I've had multiple talks with her about

0:22:49.720 --> 0:22:52.800
<v Speaker 1>spending more time with me and her son, but there

0:22:52.920 --> 0:22:55.840
<v Speaker 1>is weekends when she leaves town and seems to be

0:22:55.880 --> 0:22:59.280
<v Speaker 1>living a happy life without us. At first, I kept thinking,

0:22:59.320 --> 0:23:02.160
<v Speaker 1>I get it needs some time to get away from home,

0:23:02.240 --> 0:23:05.160
<v Speaker 1>but now it really seems like that's all she wants

0:23:05.200 --> 0:23:07.680
<v Speaker 1>to do. Our date nights are usually filled with silence

0:23:07.720 --> 0:23:10.800
<v Speaker 1>because I try to avoid arguments right now. My son

0:23:10.880 --> 0:23:14.040
<v Speaker 1>loves mommy and loves to see her, but I don't

0:23:14.040 --> 0:23:17.400
<v Speaker 1>allow her to take him along with her friends whenever

0:23:17.480 --> 0:23:20.760
<v Speaker 1>they leave town, because let's just say, her girlfriends are

0:23:20.760 --> 0:23:23.760
<v Speaker 1>not people i'd want to want him to peer around.

0:23:24.640 --> 0:23:27.960
<v Speaker 1>I feel trapped. I feel like I'm still living there

0:23:28.160 --> 0:23:30.520
<v Speaker 1>just to see my son while his mommy is around.

0:23:30.560 --> 0:23:33.400
<v Speaker 1>But I don't know if I'm still in love with her.

0:23:33.920 --> 0:23:36.359
<v Speaker 1>I read this quote, you can't fall in love twice

0:23:36.600 --> 0:23:39.520
<v Speaker 1>because the second time you're falling in love with the memories.

0:23:40.520 --> 0:23:43.640
<v Speaker 1>If there is time a little more background about her.

0:23:43.680 --> 0:23:45.840
<v Speaker 1>She lost her mom when she was five, and her

0:23:45.880 --> 0:23:48.440
<v Speaker 1>dad lives in Mexico and was not ever around and

0:23:48.800 --> 0:23:51.760
<v Speaker 1>until she was eighteen. He passed away six years ago.

0:23:51.800 --> 0:23:55.480
<v Speaker 1>Her sister in law basically raised her. Unfortunately, her sister passed.

0:23:55.640 --> 0:23:57.639
<v Speaker 1>Her sister in law passed away as well to cancer

0:23:57.680 --> 0:24:00.680
<v Speaker 1>five years ago. She also lost her brother to suicide

0:24:00.720 --> 0:24:03.200
<v Speaker 1>six years ago. I've been there for as much as

0:24:03.200 --> 0:24:05.480
<v Speaker 1>I can, and I've supported her as much as I can.

0:24:05.840 --> 0:24:08.560
<v Speaker 1>She and I were really close and happy until just

0:24:08.680 --> 0:24:13.320
<v Speaker 1>recent times. I do not know what changed, all right, Daniel,

0:24:14.080 --> 0:24:20.520
<v Speaker 1>thanks for emailing brother, and I'm sorry for the really

0:24:20.560 --> 0:24:23.520
<v Speaker 1>serious situation that you're in, and thank you for trusting

0:24:24.359 --> 0:24:27.639
<v Speaker 1>Parker and I in this podcast with such a sensitive question,

0:24:28.280 --> 0:24:34.840
<v Speaker 1>especially so young at twenty seven. Okay, you're twenty seven,

0:24:35.680 --> 0:24:39.680
<v Speaker 1>married five years ago, had a son two years into

0:24:39.720 --> 0:24:44.439
<v Speaker 1>the marriage, three years ago, so that's the only child. Okay.

0:24:45.280 --> 0:24:46.840
<v Speaker 1>I after trying to fill my brain with what you

0:24:46.920 --> 0:24:51.840
<v Speaker 1>got going on here, and let me start with this,

0:24:51.960 --> 0:24:56.960
<v Speaker 1>I'll start with without knowing a lot of details, let

0:24:57.040 --> 0:24:59.360
<v Speaker 1>me start with what I know about the subject line

0:24:59.400 --> 0:25:01.400
<v Speaker 1>that you wrote, how do I know if I'm still

0:25:01.400 --> 0:25:08.240
<v Speaker 1>in love with my wife? Okay? That's interesting. Love and

0:25:08.280 --> 0:25:13.240
<v Speaker 1>it's in it's different kinds of definitions and categories. Love

0:25:13.359 --> 0:25:21.640
<v Speaker 1>can be seen in two ways. One emotionally it love

0:25:21.840 --> 0:25:28.240
<v Speaker 1>happens as a reaction to your emotions. But more importantly

0:25:28.640 --> 0:25:34.879
<v Speaker 1>and more properly defined for marriage is love is a covenant,

0:25:36.200 --> 0:25:41.040
<v Speaker 1>and a covenant is an agreement. It is a decision

0:25:42.080 --> 0:25:45.480
<v Speaker 1>that you have made and you might not have even

0:25:45.880 --> 0:25:49.120
<v Speaker 1>made it consciously, but you certainly did when you when

0:25:49.160 --> 0:25:54.200
<v Speaker 1>you stood in front of the congregation or the whoever

0:25:54.280 --> 0:25:57.600
<v Speaker 1>married you, And even if it was just a courthouse,

0:25:58.119 --> 0:26:01.959
<v Speaker 1>you made a covenant. You made a tractual agreement. And

0:26:02.000 --> 0:26:05.639
<v Speaker 1>that is such an unromantic thing to say, but it's

0:26:06.000 --> 0:26:10.000
<v Speaker 1>reliable and it's true in terms of when you make

0:26:10.040 --> 0:26:14.520
<v Speaker 1>a covenant with someone to marry them, that means essentially

0:26:15.119 --> 0:26:18.840
<v Speaker 1>that you will choose to love them even when it

0:26:19.040 --> 0:26:24.400
<v Speaker 1>stops benefiting you, when it stops you stop gaining stuff

0:26:24.520 --> 0:26:29.159
<v Speaker 1>for yourself from it. Man, that that is an idea

0:26:29.359 --> 0:26:32.360
<v Speaker 1>that's completely lost. But that's what a covenant is. When

0:26:32.359 --> 0:26:35.240
<v Speaker 1>you make a covenant with another person or a group

0:26:35.280 --> 0:26:37.840
<v Speaker 1>of people, or when God makes a covenant with his people,

0:26:38.240 --> 0:26:42.679
<v Speaker 1>it is it is not contingent upon that person in

0:26:42.960 --> 0:26:47.720
<v Speaker 1>becoming a rebel. Right when God chooses his people to

0:26:47.800 --> 0:26:50.840
<v Speaker 1>make a covenant with they constantly rebel in the Bible,

0:26:50.880 --> 0:26:55.760
<v Speaker 1>and he constantly brings them back in. You have made

0:26:55.800 --> 0:26:59.040
<v Speaker 1>a covenant with your wife. Emotionally you're out. I understand

0:26:59.040 --> 0:27:01.159
<v Speaker 1>that part of your love is out. Emotionally you're out,

0:27:01.240 --> 0:27:05.320
<v Speaker 1>but you're not receiving anything from her, and so you

0:27:05.680 --> 0:27:11.200
<v Speaker 1>immediately think, maybe I'm completely out of this marriage, and

0:27:12.119 --> 0:27:15.080
<v Speaker 1>thousands of people agree with you because you're not getting

0:27:15.080 --> 0:27:19.000
<v Speaker 1>anything out of it. Instead of saying, babe, I want

0:27:19.000 --> 0:27:21.720
<v Speaker 1>to I want to have this talk with you gotta

0:27:21.720 --> 0:27:24.000
<v Speaker 1>take you to dinner, find find her favorite restaurant, her

0:27:24.000 --> 0:27:26.000
<v Speaker 1>favorite food, and you take her out and you can

0:27:26.080 --> 0:27:29.679
<v Speaker 1>just go. I want to tell you that I know

0:27:29.760 --> 0:27:34.320
<v Speaker 1>things have been different lately, and I know that you've

0:27:34.320 --> 0:27:37.440
<v Speaker 1>been and I've been a little I've been a little

0:27:37.560 --> 0:27:40.080
<v Speaker 1>uh harsh with you because I know you probably have Daniel,

0:27:40.760 --> 0:27:43.959
<v Speaker 1>and I just want to say I'm sorry. And I

0:27:44.000 --> 0:27:48.920
<v Speaker 1>know that you've had you've had troubled trusting and you're

0:27:48.960 --> 0:27:53.960
<v Speaker 1>thinking Dad Mexico, brother suicide, gain trust with sister in law,

0:27:54.000 --> 0:27:57.480
<v Speaker 1>she's gone to cancer. But you say, but I'm not

0:27:57.680 --> 0:28:00.359
<v Speaker 1>leaving you. I'm here for you to serve you and

0:28:00.480 --> 0:28:03.399
<v Speaker 1>whatever way you need from me. If that means you

0:28:03.800 --> 0:28:06.040
<v Speaker 1>need some time with your friends on the weekends, I'll

0:28:06.080 --> 0:28:07.439
<v Speaker 1>watch our son. But I just want you to know

0:28:07.480 --> 0:28:10.280
<v Speaker 1>that whatever you got going on, I'm not going anywhere,

0:28:11.000 --> 0:28:15.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm here for you. I made a covenant promise on

0:28:15.040 --> 0:28:19.360
<v Speaker 1>our wedding day that I'm standing by. I wonder what

0:28:19.400 --> 0:28:22.160
<v Speaker 1>that would do to this relationship, because I don't think

0:28:22.200 --> 0:28:25.240
<v Speaker 1>you've done that, and I think it's probably been more

0:28:25.320 --> 0:28:27.840
<v Speaker 1>like I don't like your friends, I don't like I'm

0:28:27.880 --> 0:28:30.040
<v Speaker 1>hanging around my son I don't like you leaving all

0:28:30.040 --> 0:28:33.000
<v Speaker 1>the time. I don't know what you're doing. I'm a

0:28:33.040 --> 0:28:35.480
<v Speaker 1>little jealous of what's going on. In fact, is there

0:28:35.480 --> 0:28:37.880
<v Speaker 1>another guy? Hey? I don't even know if I should

0:28:37.920 --> 0:28:41.880
<v Speaker 1>stay here anymore. That's probably what happens when you say,

0:28:42.160 --> 0:28:43.400
<v Speaker 1>we go on a date and I try to keep

0:28:43.480 --> 0:28:45.320
<v Speaker 1>quiet so we don't argue. I gotta feel. And that's

0:28:45.360 --> 0:28:48.720
<v Speaker 1>what the argument sounds like, something like that, Parker, What

0:28:48.800 --> 0:28:49.280
<v Speaker 1>do you have to this?

0:28:50.760 --> 0:28:55.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'd say, because you're you're married, this is gonna

0:28:55.320 --> 0:28:58.240
<v Speaker 2>be different advice than someone if they were dating. But

0:28:59.040 --> 0:29:02.160
<v Speaker 2>I would say that you're feeling are real, but they're

0:29:02.200 --> 0:29:07.400
<v Speaker 2>not always reliable. And like you said, you can acknowledge

0:29:07.400 --> 0:29:12.960
<v Speaker 2>that you don't have that emotional feeling anymore. But so

0:29:13.080 --> 0:29:15.640
<v Speaker 2>many marriages in because people say that they're just not

0:29:15.720 --> 0:29:17.800
<v Speaker 2>in love with them anymore. They just fell out of love,

0:29:17.920 --> 0:29:22.160
<v Speaker 2>they lost the spark, and it's just like, man, that's

0:29:22.200 --> 0:29:25.600
<v Speaker 2>not what the relationship is built on. Like you said

0:29:25.640 --> 0:29:30.760
<v Speaker 2>that love, you know how many marriages? How many weddings

0:29:30.760 --> 0:29:33.360
<v Speaker 2>do we see where they quote One Corinthians thirteen. Love

0:29:33.440 --> 0:29:36.520
<v Speaker 2>is patient kind, Love does not envy or boast. It's

0:29:36.560 --> 0:29:41.240
<v Speaker 2>not arrogant or rude. It bears all things, it endures

0:29:41.320 --> 0:29:44.400
<v Speaker 2>all things, and it's like, man, this is why you

0:29:44.520 --> 0:29:47.120
<v Speaker 2>stood up in front of friends and family and vowed

0:29:47.160 --> 0:29:51.600
<v Speaker 2>before God to enter a covenant that till death do

0:29:51.720 --> 0:29:55.320
<v Speaker 2>us part. I'm in this with you. You know that you

0:29:55.360 --> 0:29:59.480
<v Speaker 2>gave her your word, and so I empathize with you. Man.

0:29:59.520 --> 0:30:02.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm so that it's tough. It's obviously hard to do

0:30:02.720 --> 0:30:06.880
<v Speaker 2>it when it's not reciprocating. But man, your responsibility as

0:30:06.920 --> 0:30:09.479
<v Speaker 2>the man is to lay down your life for her,

0:30:09.600 --> 0:30:13.040
<v Speaker 2>to find ways to love her, to choose to love her,

0:30:13.040 --> 0:30:15.440
<v Speaker 2>and to not just say to not bail out just

0:30:15.480 --> 0:30:19.440
<v Speaker 2>because you're not feeling like it. A practical resource that

0:30:19.520 --> 0:30:22.000
<v Speaker 2>I found super helpful was the book Love and Respect,

0:30:23.160 --> 0:30:26.240
<v Speaker 2>and I would encourage you to go to the It's

0:30:26.880 --> 0:30:32.000
<v Speaker 2>short answer is men primarily need respect, and then women

0:30:32.160 --> 0:30:35.200
<v Speaker 2>primarily need to feel loved and cherished. And so you

0:30:35.280 --> 0:30:37.360
<v Speaker 2>could you could go to that. I'm not telling you

0:30:37.400 --> 0:30:39.360
<v Speaker 2>to go to her and tell her that she's supposed

0:30:39.360 --> 0:30:41.280
<v Speaker 2>to respect you. I'm saying you go to that woman's

0:30:41.600 --> 0:30:44.120
<v Speaker 2>the woman's section, and you look for different ways to

0:30:44.200 --> 0:30:48.000
<v Speaker 2>love her and cherish her, regardless of if she reciprocates

0:30:48.040 --> 0:30:51.240
<v Speaker 2>it or not, because that's going to help improve things.

0:30:51.480 --> 0:30:53.600
<v Speaker 2>It's great.

0:30:55.240 --> 0:30:58.800
<v Speaker 1>Next question, Subjecline says, gift of God question mark, Good morning.

0:30:58.800 --> 0:31:01.640
<v Speaker 1>I wanted to ask something that I've been hesitant to ask.

0:31:02.000 --> 0:31:05.320
<v Speaker 1>I truly struggled to understand. My husband cheated and has

0:31:05.360 --> 0:31:08.560
<v Speaker 1>a new baby with another woman. Our youngest is eighteen.

0:31:09.120 --> 0:31:11.840
<v Speaker 1>He tells me and everyone that the baby is a

0:31:11.840 --> 0:31:15.440
<v Speaker 1>gift from God. It is Is it really a gift

0:31:15.480 --> 0:31:18.600
<v Speaker 1>from God? When he is breaking God's rules by cheating

0:31:18.680 --> 0:31:21.400
<v Speaker 1>on me? He told me that God gave him him

0:31:21.480 --> 0:31:24.400
<v Speaker 1>the gift, but it might be my punishment for the

0:31:24.440 --> 0:31:27.680
<v Speaker 1>wrong I have done in my life over the years. Parentheses.

0:31:28.120 --> 0:31:31.400
<v Speaker 1>I have never cheated in all of our marriage clothes parentheses.

0:31:32.040 --> 0:31:35.120
<v Speaker 1>I have suffered with cancer and I'm sick again with

0:31:35.160 --> 0:31:38.560
<v Speaker 1>the same symptoms. I can't seem to forgive him, and

0:31:38.600 --> 0:31:40.960
<v Speaker 1>as soon as I am able, i am leaving our

0:31:41.000 --> 0:31:45.360
<v Speaker 1>home since he will not. Thanks for your advice, JP.

0:31:46.640 --> 0:31:51.120
<v Speaker 1>All right, JP, thanks so much for the email, and

0:31:51.360 --> 0:31:53.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm so sorry you're in the situation. I'm gonna kind

0:31:53.800 --> 0:31:58.959
<v Speaker 1>of recap for my own mind. Here your husband and

0:31:59.280 --> 0:32:03.400
<v Speaker 1>there's no divorce here, so I'm assuming still your current husband,

0:32:04.080 --> 0:32:08.080
<v Speaker 1>who is currently living with you in your current home,

0:32:09.560 --> 0:32:13.760
<v Speaker 1>has cheated on you with another woman that is now

0:32:13.800 --> 0:32:17.560
<v Speaker 1>having a baby with her, but he's still in your

0:32:17.560 --> 0:32:24.120
<v Speaker 1>house and still married to you. H Parker, will let

0:32:24.160 --> 0:32:26.680
<v Speaker 1>you lead this one. I'm not sure what the question.

0:32:32.400 --> 0:32:33.560
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what the question is.

0:32:33.520 --> 0:32:39.520
<v Speaker 2>Either, is is the baby a gift from Oh?

0:32:39.640 --> 0:32:42.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's I'm sorry, that's the question. Is the baby

0:32:43.720 --> 0:32:46.600
<v Speaker 1>a gift from God? Will park first of all, before

0:32:46.600 --> 0:32:52.480
<v Speaker 1>Parker answers, We'll both say are resounding yes. All babies,

0:32:52.800 --> 0:32:58.040
<v Speaker 1>regardless of the circumstance of how they were conceived, are

0:32:58.080 --> 0:33:03.120
<v Speaker 1>a gift from God. Like that, that's unquestionably true in

0:33:03.160 --> 0:33:07.720
<v Speaker 1>all circumstances all around the world, of all different people,

0:33:07.800 --> 0:33:11.560
<v Speaker 1>in all different ethnicities and religion and tribe, and all

0:33:11.600 --> 0:33:15.640
<v Speaker 1>babies are a gift from God, regardless of how they

0:33:15.640 --> 0:33:16.560
<v Speaker 1>were pro created.

0:33:17.200 --> 0:33:21.320
<v Speaker 2>Go ahead, Mark, Yeah, I'm sorry're in this situation. From

0:33:21.360 --> 0:33:24.080
<v Speaker 2>my limited knowledge, it sounds like he's he's a manipulative

0:33:24.360 --> 0:33:26.560
<v Speaker 2>and he's using this to rub it in your face

0:33:26.640 --> 0:33:30.440
<v Speaker 2>and so our children a gift from God? Absolutely, does

0:33:30.480 --> 0:33:34.200
<v Speaker 2>that justify his cheating on you like it was God's

0:33:34.240 --> 0:33:36.880
<v Speaker 2>will for him? To have this baby with another woman.

0:33:37.840 --> 0:33:43.960
<v Speaker 2>Of course not, of course not. And yeah, don't believe that,

0:33:44.280 --> 0:33:46.880
<v Speaker 2>and don't believe that. It's it's punishment on you for

0:33:46.960 --> 0:33:48.440
<v Speaker 2>something that that you did.

0:33:51.040 --> 0:33:54.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I don't know, JP, I don't know if there's

0:33:54.320 --> 0:34:04.320
<v Speaker 1>anything else. Yeah, it's it's wrong that it's so wrong

0:34:04.680 --> 0:34:07.920
<v Speaker 1>that it makes my answer even shorter to there's nothing

0:34:07.920 --> 0:34:12.040
<v Speaker 1>to elaborate on. It's ridiculous, it's not. God's not punishing

0:34:12.040 --> 0:34:14.520
<v Speaker 1>you with a new baby from your husband who cheated

0:34:14.520 --> 0:34:19.480
<v Speaker 1>on you. And this new baby deserves love and respect,

0:34:19.960 --> 0:34:24.640
<v Speaker 1>but your husband doesn't. Your husband deserves love, but he

0:34:24.680 --> 0:34:29.080
<v Speaker 1>doesn't deserve your trust or your respect.

0:34:29.280 --> 0:34:29.880
<v Speaker 2>Nothing to add.

0:34:29.920 --> 0:34:35.799
<v Speaker 1>Okay, speaking of trust, the next one subject, client says,

0:34:35.800 --> 0:34:38.280
<v Speaker 1>how do you trust God after losing a loved one? Hey, Grandeer,

0:34:38.320 --> 0:34:41.440
<v Speaker 1>my name is Brian. I'm struggling with keeping my faith

0:34:41.920 --> 0:34:44.240
<v Speaker 1>in God. Over the last two years, I've lost eight

0:34:44.400 --> 0:34:48.080
<v Speaker 1>of my closest family members. How do I keep trusting

0:34:48.120 --> 0:34:51.160
<v Speaker 1>God when he keeps taking my family away from me?

0:34:51.480 --> 0:34:54.680
<v Speaker 1>I love your music and your podcast. God bless and

0:34:54.719 --> 0:35:01.799
<v Speaker 1>have a great day. Classic question Man eight is a lot.

0:35:01.880 --> 0:35:05.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm so sorry, but what you're asking isn't totally normal

0:35:06.280 --> 0:35:15.759
<v Speaker 1>and understandable from someone who is struggling to know God.

0:35:16.960 --> 0:35:20.200
<v Speaker 1>That's what this boils down to. Most questions I get

0:35:20.239 --> 0:35:24.640
<v Speaker 1>on the podcast that have to do with faith or

0:35:24.680 --> 0:35:31.080
<v Speaker 1>spirituality or God, most of them could be answered by saying,

0:35:32.239 --> 0:35:38.239
<v Speaker 1>you don't know God well enough. And Parker, how do

0:35:38.239 --> 0:35:39.520
<v Speaker 1>you learn who God.

0:35:39.360 --> 0:35:45.760
<v Speaker 2>Is through reading his word? Okaa? The Bible?

0:35:47.000 --> 0:35:50.879
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Brian, you read the Bible and you learn who

0:35:50.880 --> 0:35:54.760
<v Speaker 1>God is, and what you see really is a people

0:35:56.239 --> 0:36:01.040
<v Speaker 1>throughout the fifteen hundred years of history within the Bible canon,

0:36:01.520 --> 0:36:06.560
<v Speaker 1>you see a history of a people that that endured suffering,

0:36:07.719 --> 0:36:11.880
<v Speaker 1>that endured the loss of loved ones. One thing I

0:36:11.880 --> 0:36:14.799
<v Speaker 1>could slightly correct you on is that it's not necessarily

0:36:14.880 --> 0:36:20.120
<v Speaker 1>God taking your family away from you. It's they were

0:36:20.160 --> 0:36:25.360
<v Speaker 1>never yours. You know, the people are gifts. Everything is

0:36:25.360 --> 0:36:29.880
<v Speaker 1>a gift. Every good thing is a gift, and even

0:36:29.960 --> 0:36:33.400
<v Speaker 1>even things that we struggle with or gifts. And it

0:36:33.480 --> 0:36:37.920
<v Speaker 1>was never really yours to be taken from you. And

0:36:38.000 --> 0:36:41.840
<v Speaker 1>so I think, I think, instead of diving in deeper

0:36:41.920 --> 0:36:45.440
<v Speaker 1>to how do you trust God in this this situation,

0:36:45.560 --> 0:36:49.879
<v Speaker 1>I would I would encourage you to develop some kind

0:36:49.880 --> 0:36:56.680
<v Speaker 1>of routine of reading your Bible and with Actually Tyler

0:36:56.680 --> 0:36:58.959
<v Speaker 1>and I talked last week on last podcast with Tyler

0:36:59.000 --> 0:37:03.120
<v Speaker 1>and I talked about reading a study Bible, if you've

0:37:03.120 --> 0:37:06.400
<v Speaker 1>never read the Bible before, reading with a study Bible,

0:37:06.760 --> 0:37:10.240
<v Speaker 1>so that you could kind of get this commentary while

0:37:10.239 --> 0:37:13.600
<v Speaker 1>you're reading of who are we talking about here, who's writing,

0:37:13.640 --> 0:37:15.399
<v Speaker 1>why are they writing, when are they writing? And that's

0:37:15.400 --> 0:37:19.680
<v Speaker 1>constantly just kind of supplementing your reading. Second thing I

0:37:19.680 --> 0:37:22.400
<v Speaker 1>would say is to join a local church to be

0:37:22.440 --> 0:37:25.680
<v Speaker 1>able to walk with God's people and learn with them

0:37:26.239 --> 0:37:30.520
<v Speaker 1>and empathize with them and be poured into by them

0:37:30.680 --> 0:37:34.320
<v Speaker 1>when you're going through a loss, so you're not ever alone.

0:37:34.360 --> 0:37:41.399
<v Speaker 1>Walking through this alone is impossible. So I think there's

0:37:41.520 --> 0:37:44.480
<v Speaker 1>deeper issues here, and I hope that this could be

0:37:44.520 --> 0:37:47.279
<v Speaker 1>an encouragement for you to learn who God is.

0:37:47.680 --> 0:37:51.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this question is how can I learn to trust someone?

0:37:53.360 --> 0:37:55.439
<v Speaker 2>Then the answer is you've got to figure out who

0:37:55.440 --> 0:37:58.160
<v Speaker 2>that someone is, right, And you just laid out the

0:37:58.200 --> 0:37:59.480
<v Speaker 2>practical next steps of that.

0:38:00.040 --> 0:38:02.279
<v Speaker 1>It's not it's not just God. It seems like I

0:38:02.360 --> 0:38:04.760
<v Speaker 1>kind of go down this this rabbit hole in this podcast,

0:38:04.800 --> 0:38:06.840
<v Speaker 1>but there's so many times we're not just talking about

0:38:06.840 --> 0:38:11.160
<v Speaker 1>God in this situation. If you said Granger. I've got

0:38:11.200 --> 0:38:14.640
<v Speaker 1>a there's a new guy at work. He just started

0:38:14.640 --> 0:38:18.120
<v Speaker 1>working for us, and we're we're on this factory assembly

0:38:18.200 --> 0:38:21.400
<v Speaker 1>line and he's he's the next guy over, and so

0:38:21.480 --> 0:38:25.600
<v Speaker 1>everything I do, it's it's determined by what he does.

0:38:26.320 --> 0:38:29.400
<v Speaker 1>And I want to learn to trust him, Granger. Granger,

0:38:29.440 --> 0:38:32.719
<v Speaker 1>tell me, how do I trust this guy? Like he's

0:38:32.800 --> 0:38:36.960
<v Speaker 1>been time with him, Talk to him, Listen to him,

0:38:37.760 --> 0:38:40.640
<v Speaker 1>go to lunch with them, have coffee with them.

0:38:40.680 --> 0:38:41.720
<v Speaker 2>Look at his track record.

0:38:41.719 --> 0:38:43.640
<v Speaker 1>Look at his track record, talk to other people that

0:38:43.680 --> 0:38:47.040
<v Speaker 1>have talked to him, talk to his family that knows him.

0:38:47.239 --> 0:38:50.040
<v Speaker 1>It's so you're asking the same question, how do I

0:38:50.120 --> 0:38:53.880
<v Speaker 1>learn to trust God? Talk to him? That's great, listen

0:38:53.920 --> 0:38:54.480
<v Speaker 1>to him.

0:38:54.800 --> 0:38:57.160
<v Speaker 2>Okay, that's helpful.

0:38:58.160 --> 0:39:08.600
<v Speaker 1>Let's let's hit one more here. These are I'm literally

0:39:08.600 --> 0:39:11.000
<v Speaker 1>trying to find one that's not a God question because

0:39:12.280 --> 0:39:14.719
<v Speaker 1>I don't want I don't want just to just to

0:39:14.760 --> 0:39:18.000
<v Speaker 1>talk about who God is in every single question, which

0:39:18.000 --> 0:39:23.120
<v Speaker 1>I really could, I really could. Okay, how about that's

0:39:23.160 --> 0:39:25.880
<v Speaker 1>a really long one.

0:39:27.960 --> 0:39:30.120
<v Speaker 2>Is it safe to say that if people keep their

0:39:30.200 --> 0:39:33.680
<v Speaker 2>questions concise, they have a better chance of getting them read.

0:39:33.840 --> 0:39:36.160
<v Speaker 1>It's totally right. If you keep it about the length

0:39:36.200 --> 0:39:39.480
<v Speaker 1>of a phone. It helps me because if I'm looking

0:39:39.520 --> 0:39:40.719
<v Speaker 1>at the clock and I'm like, we've got time for

0:39:40.760 --> 0:39:42.880
<v Speaker 1>another question, and you kind of wrote a novel to me,

0:39:42.920 --> 0:39:47.080
<v Speaker 1>it's harder. This one just says life question. Hey Grangeard

0:39:47.080 --> 0:39:49.439
<v Speaker 1>like to stay anonymous, but I have a question for you.

0:39:49.640 --> 0:39:55.040
<v Speaker 1>I am twenty one m active duty at Florida. I'm

0:39:55.040 --> 0:39:57.080
<v Speaker 1>not sure what that means I am. I am twenty

0:39:57.080 --> 0:40:00.000
<v Speaker 1>one active duty AD in Florida. I've been a huge

0:40:00.040 --> 0:40:02.040
<v Speaker 1>h fan since I was fourteen. I love your music

0:40:02.080 --> 0:40:05.640
<v Speaker 1>and your podcast. I've been working nights recently and also

0:40:05.760 --> 0:40:08.840
<v Speaker 1>listening to your after midnight radio. Backstory is my girlfriend

0:40:08.840 --> 0:40:10.880
<v Speaker 1>and I have been together for three years. In October

0:40:10.880 --> 0:40:14.319
<v Speaker 1>of twenty twenty three, we were high school sweethearts. She's

0:40:14.360 --> 0:40:17.640
<v Speaker 1>currently working on her bachelor's and masters in two years.

0:40:18.000 --> 0:40:20.799
<v Speaker 1>Will be another four years of school total. I have

0:40:20.880 --> 0:40:26.120
<v Speaker 1>four years left of my AD contract here. She transferred

0:40:26.120 --> 0:40:28.360
<v Speaker 1>to a school down here to move in with me.

0:40:28.640 --> 0:40:32.960
<v Speaker 1>We're both from Michigan. Herself and her family have been

0:40:33.280 --> 0:40:37.640
<v Speaker 1>pressuring me about when I'm going to propose to her. Honestly,

0:40:38.400 --> 0:40:41.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm just not ready yet myself, and I don't think

0:40:41.120 --> 0:40:45.440
<v Speaker 1>she's ready yet either. I have so many toys I

0:40:45.480 --> 0:40:49.160
<v Speaker 1>want to buy before a ring. I'm nervous about marriage

0:40:49.280 --> 0:40:52.000
<v Speaker 1>because of the risk that I'd lose it if it

0:40:52.000 --> 0:40:55.120
<v Speaker 1>didn't work out five years down the road. I apologize

0:40:55.120 --> 0:40:58.040
<v Speaker 1>for the book I just wrote. What are your thoughts? Well,

0:40:58.080 --> 0:41:03.239
<v Speaker 1>actually it's come from anonymous. Anonymous, Actually you wrote a

0:41:03.280 --> 0:41:07.120
<v Speaker 1>perfect length, So thanks, thanks for the perfect length email here,

0:41:07.719 --> 0:41:11.399
<v Speaker 1>and man, you've got a great You got a great

0:41:11.440 --> 0:41:15.040
<v Speaker 1>guest with Parker sitting here on the microphone for this

0:41:15.080 --> 0:41:19.040
<v Speaker 1>particular question. And I think there's been several instant since

0:41:19.080 --> 0:41:22.839
<v Speaker 1>on this exact episode that we've kind of touched on

0:41:22.960 --> 0:41:28.120
<v Speaker 1>your situation. One. I'll start with this, I'm nervous, nervous

0:41:28.160 --> 0:41:30.680
<v Speaker 1>about marriage because of the risk I'll lose it if

0:41:30.719 --> 0:41:32.719
<v Speaker 1>it didn't work out five years down the road. Well

0:41:33.320 --> 0:41:38.839
<v Speaker 1>throw that idea out, because if you get married, you're

0:41:38.920 --> 0:41:41.239
<v Speaker 1>expected to make a covenant. Like I said a couple

0:41:41.400 --> 0:41:45.200
<v Speaker 1>questions ago, You're expected to be anonymous, a man of

0:41:45.239 --> 0:41:49.360
<v Speaker 1>your word. You're going to make a contract, a social contract.

0:41:49.400 --> 0:41:52.359
<v Speaker 1>You are going to agree that you will love her

0:41:52.480 --> 0:41:55.680
<v Speaker 1>till death, do your part. And I think we have

0:41:55.880 --> 0:42:01.320
<v Speaker 1>lost completely lost that concept partly because a movie, social media,

0:42:01.760 --> 0:42:04.719
<v Speaker 1>all the choices we have. There's so many girls out there,

0:42:04.719 --> 0:42:06.800
<v Speaker 1>so many fishes in the sea. If this one doesn't

0:42:06.840 --> 0:42:09.959
<v Speaker 1>work out, there's another one that'll probably work out. That's

0:42:10.000 --> 0:42:13.600
<v Speaker 1>the statistic, right. So we have completely lost this idea

0:42:13.640 --> 0:42:16.280
<v Speaker 1>that when I get married, I'm gonna make an agreement.

0:42:17.040 --> 0:42:20.320
<v Speaker 1>Even if it doesn't work out the way I think,

0:42:20.520 --> 0:42:23.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm not getting what I thought from it. I'm gonna

0:42:23.000 --> 0:42:25.440
<v Speaker 1>make an agreement. So just throw out the idea that

0:42:25.440 --> 0:42:27.840
<v Speaker 1>if it doesn't work out five years instead trade that

0:42:28.000 --> 0:42:30.719
<v Speaker 1>thought with I'm a man of my word, I'm a

0:42:30.719 --> 0:42:35.040
<v Speaker 1>man of integrity. I'm in the act of duty, and

0:42:35.080 --> 0:42:38.000
<v Speaker 1>I will make an agreement that I will not back

0:42:38.040 --> 0:42:43.879
<v Speaker 1>out of. Right, Parker, I'll let you dive into where

0:42:43.880 --> 0:42:47.880
<v Speaker 1>else you want to jump in. Here. Family's press pressuring

0:42:47.960 --> 0:42:49.840
<v Speaker 1>him to get married. He has too many toys he

0:42:49.880 --> 0:42:54.399
<v Speaker 1>wants to buy before a ring. He's nervous, they're going

0:42:54.440 --> 0:42:56.880
<v Speaker 1>through school. He doesn't know if he's ready.

0:42:57.600 --> 0:43:00.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I would say that that's so common today, and

0:43:01.680 --> 0:43:05.520
<v Speaker 2>the world tells you that marriage is a burden, that

0:43:06.000 --> 0:43:11.080
<v Speaker 2>children are a burden, that you should accumulate as much wealth,

0:43:11.400 --> 0:43:17.040
<v Speaker 2>that you should get all the toys and social media

0:43:18.120 --> 0:43:23.320
<v Speaker 2>and media in general has fed us this addiction to variety.

0:43:23.840 --> 0:43:25.960
<v Speaker 2>Like you said of the grass is always greener, the

0:43:26.000 --> 0:43:28.600
<v Speaker 2>grass is always greener. We live in a TikTok world

0:43:28.920 --> 0:43:31.760
<v Speaker 2>of just something new, something new, I gotta get this toy.

0:43:32.000 --> 0:43:34.719
<v Speaker 2>Maybe there's a better girl, maybe there's something better out there.

0:43:35.640 --> 0:43:38.600
<v Speaker 2>And it's scary, mind man, it's it's it's ruining us.

0:43:38.960 --> 0:43:44.120
<v Speaker 2>And uh, like I said earlier as well, with why,

0:43:44.239 --> 0:43:46.040
<v Speaker 2>I mean, why would he get married? I don't know.

0:43:46.239 --> 0:43:47.759
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if he's a Christian. I know that

0:43:47.760 --> 0:43:51.040
<v Speaker 2>we're not trying to make every single question about who

0:43:51.080 --> 0:43:54.040
<v Speaker 2>God is, but it's hard to answer that question without

0:43:54.960 --> 0:43:57.520
<v Speaker 2>asking yourself. Man, if if you're not a Christian, then

0:43:57.520 --> 0:43:59.399
<v Speaker 2>why would you Why would you get married? Dude?

0:43:59.520 --> 0:43:59.880
<v Speaker 1>True?

0:44:00.000 --> 0:44:03.120
<v Speaker 2>But that make as much money as possible, buy all

0:44:03.160 --> 0:44:06.960
<v Speaker 2>of the toys. Yeah, live with your girlfriend as long

0:44:07.000 --> 0:44:10.680
<v Speaker 2>as you can until she forces children on you. But ugh,

0:44:11.000 --> 0:44:14.440
<v Speaker 2>it just makes me sick. It's just a recipe for disaster.

0:44:14.600 --> 0:44:19.279
<v Speaker 2>How many relationships out there are people dating for six, seven,

0:44:19.360 --> 0:44:21.880
<v Speaker 2>eight years and you just have the resentment of the

0:44:21.920 --> 0:44:24.960
<v Speaker 2>girlfriend because he still hasn't proposed. You have the in

0:44:25.120 --> 0:44:28.880
<v Speaker 2>laws cornering him on holidays to ask him why he

0:44:28.920 --> 0:44:31.399
<v Speaker 2>still hasn't done it. And the guy's just like, why

0:44:31.400 --> 0:44:37.160
<v Speaker 2>would I want to obligate myself to to that kind

0:44:37.160 --> 0:44:39.520
<v Speaker 2>of commitment with all the variety that's out here. So

0:44:40.280 --> 0:44:42.120
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if that really helps. But it's just

0:44:42.120 --> 0:44:44.439
<v Speaker 2>like in a certain sense, it's just like, I don't

0:44:44.480 --> 0:44:46.920
<v Speaker 2>blame you. Man, it's hard when the world is telling

0:44:46.960 --> 0:44:48.960
<v Speaker 2>you that marriage and children are a burden and to

0:44:49.760 --> 0:44:52.360
<v Speaker 2>just get all you know, eat, drink and be merry,

0:44:52.520 --> 0:44:57.040
<v Speaker 2>you know. And so I mean I would just say, man,

0:44:59.200 --> 0:45:01.480
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I can't answer without saying that. Man, I

0:45:02.040 --> 0:45:04.120
<v Speaker 2>don't know if you're a believer in Jesus Christ or not,

0:45:04.239 --> 0:45:10.000
<v Speaker 2>but to to find a local church to to read

0:45:10.040 --> 0:45:14.480
<v Speaker 2>your Bible. Uh, it's going to explain marriage and the

0:45:14.520 --> 0:45:17.480
<v Speaker 2>purpose of it and teach you how to have a

0:45:18.520 --> 0:45:19.920
<v Speaker 2>commitment to one person.

0:45:21.000 --> 0:45:21.120
<v Speaker 1>Uh.

0:45:21.239 --> 0:45:24.279
<v Speaker 2>And I would say to to start there. Otherwise you're

0:45:24.320 --> 0:45:26.320
<v Speaker 2>just going to be in a terrible cycle of living

0:45:26.320 --> 0:45:30.480
<v Speaker 2>with a girlfriend who resents you and uh, and you're

0:45:30.520 --> 0:45:32.120
<v Speaker 2>going to resent her and when you get married because

0:45:32.120 --> 0:45:33.680
<v Speaker 2>you didn't get spy all the stuff you wanted.

0:45:34.000 --> 0:45:36.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think that's awesome, And I think maybe the

0:45:36.760 --> 0:45:39.879
<v Speaker 1>final cap I'll put on this is that I want

0:45:39.920 --> 0:45:44.520
<v Speaker 1>to just dispel the myth that you're not ready. He said,

0:45:44.680 --> 0:45:47.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm just not ready yet. And I don't think she

0:45:47.280 --> 0:45:51.600
<v Speaker 1>is either. Bro, You're You're definitely ready. You're You're got

0:45:51.840 --> 0:45:54.560
<v Speaker 1>a lot going on with school and you you are.

0:45:54.840 --> 0:45:58.200
<v Speaker 1>You're an adult. You have moved from Michigan to Florida.

0:45:59.160 --> 0:46:03.279
<v Speaker 1>You've got a career plan and a path. The only

0:46:03.320 --> 0:46:05.799
<v Speaker 1>reason I would say you're not ready is if you

0:46:05.840 --> 0:46:10.360
<v Speaker 1>were sixteen years old living with mommy and daddy and

0:46:10.480 --> 0:46:16.400
<v Speaker 1>your brain was still developing. But you, just like many

0:46:16.400 --> 0:46:20.240
<v Speaker 1>men before, you are. Actually, I think that's what I'm

0:46:20.320 --> 0:46:22.480
<v Speaker 1>twenty one m means. I think that means he's twenty

0:46:22.520 --> 0:46:27.360
<v Speaker 1>one male. I think that's what he means. Active duty.

0:46:27.719 --> 0:46:30.160
<v Speaker 1>That's what AD means. Okay, so this is all coming together.

0:46:30.200 --> 0:46:32.960
<v Speaker 1>You're twenty one, you're a dude that's twenty one active

0:46:33.000 --> 0:46:38.040
<v Speaker 1>duty in Florida. And if you're ready for the military,

0:46:38.600 --> 0:46:42.200
<v Speaker 1>if the government thinks you're ready to drink alcohol and

0:46:42.280 --> 0:46:46.560
<v Speaker 1>drive a car and serve our country in war. But

0:46:46.680 --> 0:46:50.120
<v Speaker 1>you're saying I don't think I'm ready to promise a

0:46:50.160 --> 0:46:53.719
<v Speaker 1>girl that I'll stay with her and serve her and

0:46:53.800 --> 0:46:56.600
<v Speaker 1>Lord willing have children with her. I'm here to tell

0:46:56.600 --> 0:46:58.960
<v Speaker 1>you that's a myth that you've heard somewhere, and it's

0:46:59.080 --> 0:47:03.000
<v Speaker 1>wrong because for thousands of years before you, men have

0:47:03.160 --> 0:47:05.960
<v Speaker 1>been ready at twenty one years old to marry the

0:47:05.960 --> 0:47:06.480
<v Speaker 1>girl they're with.

0:47:08.000 --> 0:47:10.920
<v Speaker 2>And just to add on to that at the very end,

0:47:11.239 --> 0:47:13.920
<v Speaker 2>I would also say that is not saying that you

0:47:13.960 --> 0:47:17.360
<v Speaker 2>should definitely marry this girl true because we just answer

0:47:17.480 --> 0:47:21.920
<v Speaker 2>two questions of guys who are married and you know

0:47:21.960 --> 0:47:24.160
<v Speaker 2>they're not getting out of it. Dude, if you are,

0:47:24.960 --> 0:47:29.040
<v Speaker 2>if you're doing this, you're doing it till death, and

0:47:30.440 --> 0:47:32.120
<v Speaker 2>you're gonna end up the dude saying I think she's

0:47:32.200 --> 0:47:37.120
<v Speaker 2>cheating on me. There's another kid that she that she had.

0:47:38.520 --> 0:47:40.719
<v Speaker 2>So that's not to say that you shouldn't be extremely

0:47:40.760 --> 0:47:44.120
<v Speaker 2>picky and be like, is this the girl that is

0:47:44.160 --> 0:47:46.520
<v Speaker 2>going to be the mother of my children, that is

0:47:46.560 --> 0:47:50.400
<v Speaker 2>going to be selfless and that is going to endure

0:47:50.400 --> 0:47:51.520
<v Speaker 2>a hard times?

0:47:52.000 --> 0:47:55.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, this question almost should have started the podcast and

0:47:55.680 --> 0:47:57.759
<v Speaker 1>then we could have the other ones that the bad

0:47:57.800 --> 0:48:00.600
<v Speaker 1>stories that happened after. But I will say that Anonymous,

0:48:00.600 --> 0:48:03.640
<v Speaker 1>you said together for three years, she's your girlfriend in

0:48:03.640 --> 0:48:08.959
<v Speaker 1>your high school sweethearts. I don't see anything wrong with her,

0:48:09.600 --> 0:48:13.719
<v Speaker 1>And yeah, I think I think you have a lot

0:48:13.760 --> 0:48:15.520
<v Speaker 1>of decisions to make, and I think I think we've

0:48:15.520 --> 0:48:18.680
<v Speaker 1>met a pretty good case of just kind of dispelling

0:48:18.960 --> 0:48:21.279
<v Speaker 1>the miss of the world and then putting it back

0:48:21.320 --> 0:48:25.200
<v Speaker 1>on your court. It's all the time we got, love

0:48:25.200 --> 0:48:28.000
<v Speaker 1>you guys, See you next Monday. Thanks for joining me

0:48:28.040 --> 0:48:30.920
<v Speaker 1>on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate all of you.

0:48:31.000 --> 0:48:31.320
<v Speaker 2>Guys.

0:48:31.320 --> 0:48:34.279
<v Speaker 1>You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.

0:48:34.560 --> 0:48:37.640
<v Speaker 1>If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that

0:48:37.640 --> 0:48:41.080
<v Speaker 1>little like button and notification spell so that you never

0:48:41.200 --> 0:48:44.560
<v Speaker 1>miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a

0:48:44.640 --> 0:48:46.600
<v Speaker 1>question for me that you would like me to answer,

0:48:47.000 --> 0:48:51.960
<v Speaker 1>email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yi