WEBVTT - Birth Markie: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode

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<v Speaker 1>Motherfucking mini episode, mini episode, motherfucking mini ever sel.

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<v Speaker 2>We we we we we we we we. Welcome to

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<v Speaker 2>another episode of My Mama told.

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<v Speaker 3>Me, I like how you write it down the podcast? Well,

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<v Speaker 3>we dived deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy, and.

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<v Speaker 2>We worked to prove the conspiracies of you, the listeners.

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<v Speaker 3>Hell yeah, it's your turn you it's motherfuckers.

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<v Speaker 2>Yup and sidebar. He wanted us to think he fucked

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<v Speaker 2>a cop who pulled him over.

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<v Speaker 3>It yeah, that's the yes, she was. She had a

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<v Speaker 3>legitimate reason to pull over his car and.

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<v Speaker 2>He was driving drunk.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, he was driving drunk and driving fast. It wasn't

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<v Speaker 3>it wasn't playing it cool. You know how sometimes you

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<v Speaker 3>drive drunk and you're like, I gotta be cool man.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>No, he wasn't doing that. He was like he was

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<v Speaker 2>like Tommy and fucking belly. Yeah. Yeah. And she pulled

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<v Speaker 2>him on and she was like, wait, are you are

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<v Speaker 2>you hit rapper? Little Wayne?

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<v Speaker 3>Are you Bobby Valentino shooting passenger.

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<v Speaker 2>S This is gonna have to be a group thing,

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<v Speaker 2>you know what.

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<v Speaker 3>You know what, I can't decide both of you fellas

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<v Speaker 3>get in me.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, on the side of the street anyway.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm like stink Kerman, I'm David Boy, and we we

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<v Speaker 3>are here to to unpack an email. An email that

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<v Speaker 3>was sent to us by one of our dear listeners,

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<v Speaker 3>a person by the name of Kim. Kim sent Thank you, Kim.

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<v Speaker 3>It means the world to us to hear from you,

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<v Speaker 3>and Kim said, hello Langston and David. First, let me

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<v Speaker 3>start the way. I like that, very professional.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello David. You don't have to go nuts.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, there's a lot of you that have you. You

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<v Speaker 3>feel like you gotta rub our nose and some sort

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<v Speaker 3>of ship that we didn't make.

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<v Speaker 2>What bitch ass niggas one from the cogo.

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<v Speaker 3>It's all right man, Hey fuck faces, Yeah, got got

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<v Speaker 3>some bullshit for you if you want to slurp it

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<v Speaker 3>up off the ground.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I know you're hungry, little piggy. Were at work, y'all.

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<v Speaker 2>You need to know that we're at work.

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<v Speaker 3>Man, My boss is listening. First. Let me start by saying,

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<v Speaker 3>I love the podcast. I get excited when that little

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<v Speaker 3>notification pops up. You two are a great fit, like

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<v Speaker 3>a hand to a glove. Now onto the conspiracy. I

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<v Speaker 3>love this, Kim. It's it's polite. It's to the point

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<v Speaker 3>you're nailing it. When I when I was growing up,

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<v Speaker 3>Kim says, My mom and I would have great conversations.

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<v Speaker 3>My aunt, my great uncle, and my mom would get

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<v Speaker 3>into deep debates about life, the Bible, UFOs, et cetera.

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<v Speaker 3>My mama told me, if you were an old soul,

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<v Speaker 3>you had a birthmark like a stamp. This is how

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<v Speaker 3>you knew you had been here before. Hope you find

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<v Speaker 3>this interesting, maybe a mini we'll decide that, Kim, And

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<v Speaker 3>in fact, you're right. Thank you again. Keep up the

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<v Speaker 3>awesome work. Ps. Hey, David, I would love to bring

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<v Speaker 3>you a plate with foil on top. Not hitting on you.

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<v Speaker 3>Just love to cook. That is my profession.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what they all say, all right, Kim. No, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I love that.

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<v Speaker 3>You sound like a cop pulling over Lil Wayne.

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<v Speaker 2>You know what.

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<v Speaker 3>You think you're giving him a ticket.

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<v Speaker 2>You ain't giving a lucky Luckily for you, Bobby Valentino's

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<v Speaker 2>My opener has not done well since the os or Bob.

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<v Speaker 3>As soon as it stopped being cool to put that

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<v Speaker 3>juice in your hair and let you just walk around

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<v Speaker 3>wet all the time, Bobby, Yeah, Bobby was out the game.

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<v Speaker 2>Didn't he have like a famous family though? Wasn't he

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<v Speaker 2>like Bobby Valentino DeBarge or something like that? Was he

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<v Speaker 2>is he a DeBarge? I thought maybe not at DeBarge,

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<v Speaker 2>but I probably came from like a prolific, light skinned family.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, I had no idea. That might be wrong, that

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<v Speaker 3>might be wrong. I truly, I truly have never heard

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<v Speaker 3>that Bobby Valentino is a is a fucking uh a

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<v Speaker 3>child of of what's that thing? Nepotism? His real name

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<v Speaker 3>is Bobby Wilson. Oh, no, Jackie Wilson's son.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's see, let's see.

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<v Speaker 3>If Bobby Valentino is descended from Jackie Wilson. I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 3>lose my ship.

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<v Speaker 2>No, it looks like his parents were. No, it looks

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<v Speaker 2>like he's just He's just a regular dude, just dude

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<v Speaker 2>from Mississippi.

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<v Speaker 3>Now, you know who's related to somebody that that is

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<v Speaker 3>probably not bragging about it anymore? Is Jeremiah is is R.

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<v Speaker 3>Kelly's nephew birthday sex? Yeah, that's they're related. I think

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<v Speaker 3>that makes jeremih got on.

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<v Speaker 2>That makes sense because that song starts out as a

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<v Speaker 2>song you sing in the car, and then it gets nasty. Yeah, Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, he's got a real uh real Kelly instinct for

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<v Speaker 3>the disgusting.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he wants to pour something on you. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know what it is. He wants you.

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<v Speaker 3>He wants to pour it all over you. And if

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<v Speaker 3>you know what it is and it's not okay, you

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<v Speaker 3>should speak up because because that family has gotten away

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<v Speaker 3>with quite a bit for too long.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not always pleasure. Sometimes it hurts because it hurts.

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<v Speaker 3>Well to to to Kim's question, and we we've completely

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<v Speaker 3>ignored her question to talk about weird Nepo babies of

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<v Speaker 3>of Hollywood. To Kim's question of the stamp shaped birthmark

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<v Speaker 3>being a a sign of you having been here before?

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<v Speaker 3>I guess does it have to be a stamp shape

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<v Speaker 3>or is it just a birthmark?

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<v Speaker 2>Do you?

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<v Speaker 3>I I assume everyone has birthmarks. Is that a crazy assumption?

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<v Speaker 3>I thought everybody has one, and and some are just

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<v Speaker 3>more substantial than others.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know the rules. I have one, but mine's

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<v Speaker 2>like mind's like a full discoloration. Oh do you one?

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<v Speaker 3>I do on my my hip or like sort of

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<v Speaker 3>like torso, I have like a mark on the side.

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<v Speaker 2>How pretty min It's like, you know, mind like one shorts.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, Olivia says wild you got a big you got

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<v Speaker 3>a big.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I get that.

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<v Speaker 3>Looked at it. Well, A birth marks are common, Olivia

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<v Speaker 3>sent us, not everyone has one. There's no way to

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<v Speaker 3>predict if a child will have a birthmark or not.

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<v Speaker 3>I was told, and I don't know if you've heard this,

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<v Speaker 3>that all mixed kids have birth marks. That that I

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<v Speaker 3>don't I think they told you that. I don't think that.

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<v Speaker 3>That's yeah. I didn't like when they said it either.

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<v Speaker 3>That doesn't mean bragging.

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<v Speaker 2>That feels very eugenics.

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<v Speaker 3>It feels like you know, God's marking you for Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because I was like, you know, the side effect

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<v Speaker 2>of your parents abomination. That's where God tried to x

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<v Speaker 2>you out.

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<v Speaker 3>You know how your mommy and daddy committed the ultimates

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<v Speaker 3>in Well, their work doesn't go unnoticed.

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<v Speaker 2>We have proof.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we're we're gonna make sure you live with that forever.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean that being said, I like this one. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not against it. But do you feel like an old soul?

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<v Speaker 2>I think so. I I think if i'm you seem

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<v Speaker 2>like you seem like an old man to me.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, if I'm really reflecting on it, A lot of

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<v Speaker 3>people will respond that way, and it never makes me

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<v Speaker 3>feel good. I think I've always considered myself a young,

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<v Speaker 3>cool person and then they're like, people are like, come on, man,

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<v Speaker 3>go to bed, and I'm like, I don't understand why

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<v Speaker 3>you all treat me this way. I actually love it

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<v Speaker 3>if we were all treated with the same respect. But

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<v Speaker 3>apparently that's not the case.

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<v Speaker 2>That that trailed off. Okay, that got real personal. To

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<v Speaker 2>be completely candid, one time I ate a gang of mushrooms. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>a gang of mushrooms, and I got caught looking at

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<v Speaker 2>myself in in the in the mirror, and I don't know,

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<v Speaker 2>how do you explain it? But I just got this

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<v Speaker 2>sense I looked, I like saw like through my to

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<v Speaker 2>like what felt like, you know, the It felt like

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<v Speaker 2>I had been here for a long time, and this

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<v Speaker 2>is this is maybe kind of deep. It felt like

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<v Speaker 2>I had been here for a long time, and that

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<v Speaker 2>my plight was that I'm very clever, but not ultimately

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<v Speaker 2>so it's like, you're very clever, You've you've been clever

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<v Speaker 2>enough to keep yourself this going this long, but maybe

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<v Speaker 2>what you're seeking is like true wisdom. WHOA So you're

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<v Speaker 2>like Loki No, because Loki was like, nah, Loki was

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<v Speaker 2>like nefarious though, right, Like I don't need any harm

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<v Speaker 2>or anything. I think it was just like you was like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>you're you're this clever bopping around, but you've been like

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<v Speaker 2>instead of bopping around, you just need to stand up

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<v Speaker 2>straight and like take it on head on. But that

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<v Speaker 2>was I was on drugs.

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<v Speaker 3>Was that a revelation for the person you are now

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<v Speaker 3>or was that a revelation of like, oh, the next

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<v Speaker 3>generation of David Borie will learn this new tactic of

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<v Speaker 3>you know what I mean?

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<v Speaker 2>It felt more like you was for who I am.

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<v Speaker 2>It felt like it was the lesson I'm supposed to

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<v Speaker 2>take out of all of this.

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<v Speaker 3>And maybe you can stop the chain of events.

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<v Speaker 2>That that right? Right? Because not even a sound, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>because not even the sound corny. It was like a

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<v Speaker 2>pretty pivotal moment in my life. I mean, I'm still

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<v Speaker 2>silly as hell, but like it was like because I

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<v Speaker 2>do feel like there's a there's like a level of

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<v Speaker 2>like being clever and or charming in life that like

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<v Speaker 2>can really cause you to shirk responsibilities, Like both of

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<v Speaker 2>those things, specifically being charming can really get you out

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<v Speaker 2>of having to do a lot of things for yourself

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<v Speaker 2>and whatnot.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, now you can you just being a likable person,

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<v Speaker 3>you can navigate the world with almost zero skills, That's.

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<v Speaker 2>What I'm saying. And then and then for me, sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>I worry that, like maybe my skill is more being

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<v Speaker 2>likable than it is actual skill. And that's not like

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<v Speaker 2>that's you can't get by, but at some point that

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<v Speaker 2>tab is gonna come do. And that's what the mushrooms

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<v Speaker 2>made me feel, Like.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but that's good. The mushrooms like made you call

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<v Speaker 3>yourself to the table in a way that I think

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<v Speaker 3>a bunch of silly motherfuckers never will you.

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<v Speaker 2>Know what I mean, Like I mean, you gotta eat

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<v Speaker 2>a gang of them.

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<v Speaker 3>Imagine if you're just a silly motherfucker and you only

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<v Speaker 3>do coke, you know what I mean, you never get

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<v Speaker 3>to the mushrooms. Then you're just a dude who like

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<v Speaker 3>is gonna live with charm for for as long as

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<v Speaker 3>it exists, and then immediately become unlikable around like forty

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<v Speaker 3>five when everybody's like.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what I'm gonna say, that's about when it runs out,

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<v Speaker 2>when it's like, okay, you were doing it some people's wedding,

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<v Speaker 2>but now you're back for their twentieth anniversary. Yeah, you're

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<v Speaker 2>still doing blowing the bathroom and they're like, maybe we

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<v Speaker 2>just don't need to have.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we're good many yeah, or like, oh, you're smoking

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<v Speaker 3>in front of my kids kids, now, yeah, some of

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<v Speaker 3>these bits, some of these bits feel like maybe you

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<v Speaker 3>didn't have to do that one and no, no, no.

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<v Speaker 2>No, no no no, Like it's not funny that you're drunk. Now,

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<v Speaker 2>it's just like, yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Fifteen years ago this was hilarious.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not gonna hold you. But now you drove here.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we all parked in the same place. I got

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<v Speaker 3>car seats in the back.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe honestly, we only invited you because we thought you

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<v Speaker 2>weren't going to have the money to fly in. So

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<v Speaker 2>this is all. It's all as much as you.

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<v Speaker 1>That's yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I like it though, Yeah, yeah, yeah, well that's because

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<v Speaker 2>you're an old bad guy. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>I do feel like an old soul. I do think

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<v Speaker 3>that that probably is an accurate description of me, and

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<v Speaker 3>I would say I will say, though I don't know

0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:51.600
<v Speaker 3>if I would have that same description. I guess I would. Yeah,

0:12:51.600 --> 0:12:54.439
<v Speaker 3>I don't know. I was thinking it is my wife

0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:56.680
<v Speaker 3>and old soul, but like she likes to go to

0:12:56.679 --> 0:12:59.560
<v Speaker 3>bed at like nine thirty. So I'm gonna say, yeah, yeah,

0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:03.280
<v Speaker 3>I think that's different. I think that's different. I think

0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:06.120
<v Speaker 3>the idea of being an old soul is like something

0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:09.480
<v Speaker 3>you feel inherently and it's probably always been with you.

0:13:09.760 --> 0:13:12.199
<v Speaker 3>I mean, you can't deny like being young and having

0:13:12.200 --> 0:13:14.280
<v Speaker 3>a body and then like you know, of course, when

0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:16.440
<v Speaker 3>you were twenty, you like to stay up later than

0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:18.720
<v Speaker 3>you like to do now. Like I don't think that.

0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:22.520
<v Speaker 2>I think that's just like youth, literal youth, but that

0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:26.240
<v Speaker 2>idea of like like that feeling of like your being

0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:29.160
<v Speaker 2>is older or whatever. And I think there's a level

0:13:29.160 --> 0:13:31.840
<v Speaker 2>of tiredness that I have had my whole life that

0:13:31.880 --> 0:13:36.319
<v Speaker 2>most people don't, you know what I mean, like a weight.

0:13:36.160 --> 0:13:40.280
<v Speaker 3>Of some And I'll say that I feel I feel

0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:42.840
<v Speaker 3>connected to what you are saying. And I will say

0:13:42.840 --> 0:13:44.920
<v Speaker 3>that I don't think that that is true of my wife.

0:13:45.000 --> 0:13:48.520
<v Speaker 3>I think that she's very much a No things are good,

0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:52.880
<v Speaker 3>the light, life is floaty. I I right, So there's clouds.

0:13:53.000 --> 0:13:56.240
<v Speaker 3>Let's look at the clouds and talk about that kind Yeah. Yeah,

0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:58.640
<v Speaker 3>it's like I don't think I don't think you see

0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:00.959
<v Speaker 3>what those clouds are made of baby Yeah. Those a

0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:01.680
<v Speaker 3>poison clows.

0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:06.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's that's rain waiting to drop on. I also

0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:09.120
<v Speaker 2>get the feeling like there was like a time in

0:14:09.160 --> 0:14:12.120
<v Speaker 2>my life. I just feel like I've been through a

0:14:12.160 --> 0:14:14.679
<v Speaker 2>lot of things that were back like not like the

0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:18.000
<v Speaker 2>potato famine, but whatever, like some kind of rice famines

0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:21.400
<v Speaker 2>in Africa where I was just like, yeah, yeah, the

0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:24.040
<v Speaker 2>rain really fucked us this. I know. Man, I feel

0:14:24.040 --> 0:14:26.240
<v Speaker 2>like an old soul and I have a birthmark, is

0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:27.080
<v Speaker 2>all I'm saying here.

0:14:27.640 --> 0:14:32.120
<v Speaker 3>Well, I think maybe, Kim, to answer your question, it

0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:36.000
<v Speaker 3>sounds like your family isn't completely off base on the

0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:39.240
<v Speaker 3>possibility that birthmarks may be associated.

0:14:38.600 --> 0:14:41.479
<v Speaker 2>With old waves. Wait, does your wife have a birthmark?

0:14:41.960 --> 0:14:48.520
<v Speaker 2>She does? Okay, this is complicated, yes, just bigger. Oh,

0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:50.920
<v Speaker 2>because maybe it's the size of the birthmark thing.

0:14:52.680 --> 0:14:57.640
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna I'm going to say mine, but I can't

0:14:57.680 --> 0:14:58.720
<v Speaker 3>say for sure.

0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:02.440
<v Speaker 2>Because you ever somebody like with a face like all

0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:04.200
<v Speaker 2>birth marked up and you're like, you've been here?

0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:11.920
<v Speaker 3>How long are you staying?

0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:17.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? You need to learn it. Man. You were come on, man,

0:15:18.520 --> 0:15:20.720
<v Speaker 2>you you fought with Genghis Karm No, man, it's you

0:15:20.720 --> 0:15:21.880
<v Speaker 2>should have seen the internet.

0:15:22.360 --> 0:15:24.840
<v Speaker 3>I haven't seen Chris Cross Apple sauce my man. We

0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:27.000
<v Speaker 3>gotta we got some work to do.

0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:33.520
<v Speaker 2>Just go back your church. No, I think I think

0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:35.200
<v Speaker 2>I think we did it. I think that this all

0:15:35.240 --> 0:15:36.520
<v Speaker 2>feels very viable to me.

0:15:36.840 --> 0:15:39.360
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I think I think there there must be some

0:15:39.560 --> 0:15:42.840
<v Speaker 3>legitimacy to your claim, Kim, And if there's not, who

0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:46.040
<v Speaker 3>cares there's We've lost nothing in all of this.

0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:52.160
<v Speaker 2>No, no, no, We're really all gonna be just fine. Boy.

0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:53.760
<v Speaker 3>Do you want to tell the people where they can

0:15:53.760 --> 0:15:55.680
<v Speaker 3>find you and what cool ship you have going on?

0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:58.960
<v Speaker 2>I keep forgetting my dates, but who got Jokes eighty seven?

0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:02.880
<v Speaker 2>They'll be on there pretty soon. I'm going around this summer.

0:16:02.960 --> 0:16:05.360
<v Speaker 2>Come check it out, trying to get the jokes the

0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:08.320
<v Speaker 2>hour together to record something maybe at the end of

0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:13.359
<v Speaker 2>the year, and then you know, subscribe to our YouTube,

0:16:13.360 --> 0:16:16.840
<v Speaker 2>but not too fast. And that's that's what I got.

0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:17.520
<v Speaker 2>Take your time.

0:16:17.560 --> 0:16:18.800
<v Speaker 3>I love that well.

0:16:19.280 --> 0:16:20.040
<v Speaker 2>As always.

0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:23.400
<v Speaker 3>You can follow me at Langston Kerman and I'll be

0:16:23.520 --> 0:16:27.800
<v Speaker 3>in Bloomington, Indiana next week the April twenty eighth and

0:16:27.880 --> 0:16:31.720
<v Speaker 3>twenty ninth, and then the following week May fifth and sixth,

0:16:31.760 --> 0:16:34.600
<v Speaker 3>I'll be at the Atlanta Comedy theater, and then the

0:16:34.640 --> 0:16:38.320
<v Speaker 3>week after that I will be at Wives Guys in

0:16:38.400 --> 0:16:41.480
<v Speaker 3>Las Vegas, so so plenty of opportunities to come see

0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:45.360
<v Speaker 3>me live. It's very different than than whatever this is

0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:48.200
<v Speaker 3>that we get into, and so that that's nice for

0:16:48.280 --> 0:16:51.680
<v Speaker 3>you because you'll be like, whoa ah, wow, that's that's new.

0:16:52.120 --> 0:16:55.840
<v Speaker 3>He said words that I don't recognize sometimes that's that's cool.

0:16:57.800 --> 0:16:58.680
<v Speaker 2>Is that what you say here?

0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:02.200
<v Speaker 3>Life is Yeah, i'd say that that everybody who leaves

0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:02.680
<v Speaker 3>goes eh.

0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:05.439
<v Speaker 2>That's pretty cool, all right. Mind is similar to this,

0:17:05.520 --> 0:17:09.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm just talking longer. It's like the same. Probably a

0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:15.680
<v Speaker 2>lot of the same plot points, recurring themes, Definitely.

0:17:15.480 --> 0:17:18.040
<v Speaker 3>A lot of terry crews talk in the live show

0:17:18.080 --> 0:17:18.520
<v Speaker 3>with Bory.

0:17:18.880 --> 0:17:19.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:17:19.240 --> 0:17:23.000
<v Speaker 3>Just up top though, and as always, you can if

0:17:23.000 --> 0:17:24.840
<v Speaker 3>you want to send us your own drops, your own

0:17:24.880 --> 0:17:28.960
<v Speaker 3>conspiracy theories, if you want to to explain why your

0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:33.000
<v Speaker 3>birthmark actually makes you a young soul, a child at heart,

0:17:33.080 --> 0:17:35.560
<v Speaker 3>then please send that to my mama pot at gmail

0:17:35.600 --> 0:17:37.679
<v Speaker 3>dot com. We would love to hear from you. That

0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:45.960
<v Speaker 3>is about it. By bitch, motherfucking Mini yourself.

0:17:47.000 --> 0:17:58.520
<v Speaker 1>Mini epis, motherfucking Mini yourself, motherfucking Mini yourself Mini episod

0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:07.919
<v Speaker 1>we Fucking Mini verslf my Love sh