Speaker 1: Motherfucking mini episode, mini episode, motherfucking mini ever sel.
Speaker 2: We we we we we we we we. Welcome to
Speaker 2: another episode of My Mama told.
Speaker 3: Me, I like how you write it down the podcast? Well,
Speaker 3: we dived deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy, and.
Speaker 2: We worked to prove the conspiracies of you, the listeners.
Speaker 3: Hell yeah, it's your turn you it's motherfuckers.
Speaker 2: Yup and sidebar. He wanted us to think he fucked
Speaker 2: a cop who pulled him over.
Speaker 3: It yeah, that's the yes, she was. She had a
Speaker 3: legitimate reason to pull over his car and.
Speaker 2: He was driving drunk.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he was driving drunk and driving fast. It wasn't
Speaker 3: it wasn't playing it cool. You know how sometimes you
Speaker 3: drive drunk and you're like, I gotta be cool man.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: No, he wasn't doing that. He was like he was
Speaker 2: like Tommy and fucking belly. Yeah. Yeah. And she pulled
Speaker 2: him on and she was like, wait, are you are
Speaker 2: you hit rapper? Little Wayne?
Speaker 3: Are you Bobby Valentino shooting passenger.
Speaker 2: S This is gonna have to be a group thing,
Speaker 2: you know what.
Speaker 3: You know what, I can't decide both of you fellas
Speaker 3: get in me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, on the side of the street anyway.
Speaker 3: I'm like stink Kerman, I'm David Boy, and we we
Speaker 3: are here to to unpack an email. An email that
Speaker 3: was sent to us by one of our dear listeners,
Speaker 3: a person by the name of Kim. Kim sent Thank you, Kim.
Speaker 3: It means the world to us to hear from you,
Speaker 3: and Kim said, hello Langston and David. First, let me
Speaker 3: start the way. I like that, very professional.
Speaker 2: Hello David. You don't have to go nuts.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a lot of you that have you. You
Speaker 3: feel like you gotta rub our nose and some sort
Speaker 3: of ship that we didn't make.
Speaker 2: What bitch ass niggas one from the cogo.
Speaker 3: It's all right man, Hey fuck faces, Yeah, got got
Speaker 3: some bullshit for you if you want to slurp it
Speaker 3: up off the ground.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know you're hungry, little piggy. Were at work, y'all.
Speaker 2: You need to know that we're at work.
Speaker 3: Man, My boss is listening. First. Let me start by saying,
Speaker 3: I love the podcast. I get excited when that little
Speaker 3: notification pops up. You two are a great fit, like
Speaker 3: a hand to a glove. Now onto the conspiracy. I
Speaker 3: love this, Kim. It's it's polite. It's to the point
Speaker 3: you're nailing it. When I when I was growing up,
Speaker 3: Kim says, My mom and I would have great conversations.
Speaker 3: My aunt, my great uncle, and my mom would get
Speaker 3: into deep debates about life, the Bible, UFOs, et cetera.
Speaker 3: My mama told me, if you were an old soul,
Speaker 3: you had a birthmark like a stamp. This is how
Speaker 3: you knew you had been here before. Hope you find
Speaker 3: this interesting, maybe a mini we'll decide that, Kim, And
Speaker 3: in fact, you're right. Thank you again. Keep up the
Speaker 3: awesome work. Ps. Hey, David, I would love to bring
Speaker 3: you a plate with foil on top. Not hitting on you.
Speaker 3: Just love to cook. That is my profession.
Speaker 2: That's what they all say, all right, Kim. No, yeah,
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 3: You sound like a cop pulling over Lil Wayne.
Speaker 2: You know what.
Speaker 3: You think you're giving him a ticket.
Speaker 2: You ain't giving a lucky Luckily for you, Bobby Valentino's
Speaker 2: My opener has not done well since the os or Bob.
Speaker 3: As soon as it stopped being cool to put that
Speaker 3: juice in your hair and let you just walk around
Speaker 3: wet all the time, Bobby, Yeah, Bobby was out the game.
Speaker 2: Didn't he have like a famous family though? Wasn't he
Speaker 2: like Bobby Valentino DeBarge or something like that? Was he
Speaker 2: is he a DeBarge? I thought maybe not at DeBarge,
Speaker 2: but I probably came from like a prolific, light skinned family.
Speaker 3: Oh, I had no idea. That might be wrong, that
Speaker 3: might be wrong. I truly, I truly have never heard
Speaker 3: that Bobby Valentino is a is a fucking uh a
Speaker 3: child of of what's that thing? Nepotism? His real name
Speaker 3: is Bobby Wilson. Oh, no, Jackie Wilson's son.
Speaker 2: Let's see, let's see.
Speaker 3: If Bobby Valentino is descended from Jackie Wilson. I'm gonna
Speaker 3: lose my ship.
Speaker 2: No, it looks like his parents were. No, it looks
Speaker 2: like he's just He's just a regular dude, just dude
Speaker 2: from Mississippi.
Speaker 3: Now, you know who's related to somebody that that is
Speaker 3: probably not bragging about it anymore? Is Jeremiah is is R.
Speaker 3: Kelly's nephew birthday sex? Yeah, that's they're related. I think
Speaker 3: that makes jeremih got on.
Speaker 2: That makes sense because that song starts out as a
Speaker 2: song you sing in the car, and then it gets nasty. Yeah, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's got a real uh real Kelly instinct for
Speaker 3: the disgusting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he wants to pour something on you. I don't
Speaker 2: know what it is. He wants you.
Speaker 3: He wants to pour it all over you. And if
Speaker 3: you know what it is and it's not okay, you
Speaker 3: should speak up because because that family has gotten away
Speaker 3: with quite a bit for too long.
Speaker 2: It's not always pleasure. Sometimes it hurts because it hurts.
Speaker 3: Well to to to Kim's question, and we we've completely
Speaker 3: ignored her question to talk about weird Nepo babies of
Speaker 3: of Hollywood. To Kim's question of the stamp shaped birthmark
Speaker 3: being a a sign of you having been here before?
Speaker 3: I guess does it have to be a stamp shape
Speaker 3: or is it just a birthmark?
Speaker 2: Do you?
Speaker 3: I I assume everyone has birthmarks. Is that a crazy assumption?
Speaker 3: I thought everybody has one, and and some are just
Speaker 3: more substantial than others.
Speaker 2: I don't know the rules. I have one, but mine's
Speaker 2: like mind's like a full discoloration. Oh do you one?
Speaker 3: I do on my my hip or like sort of
Speaker 3: like torso, I have like a mark on the side.
Speaker 2: How pretty min It's like, you know, mind like one shorts.
Speaker 3: Oh, Olivia says wild you got a big you got
Speaker 3: a big.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I get that.
Speaker 3: Looked at it. Well, A birth marks are common, Olivia
Speaker 3: sent us, not everyone has one. There's no way to
Speaker 3: predict if a child will have a birthmark or not.
Speaker 3: I was told, and I don't know if you've heard this,
Speaker 3: that all mixed kids have birth marks. That that I
Speaker 3: don't I think they told you that. I don't think that.
Speaker 3: That's yeah. I didn't like when they said it either.
Speaker 3: That doesn't mean bragging.
Speaker 2: That feels very eugenics.
Speaker 3: It feels like you know, God's marking you for Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I was like, you know, the side effect
Speaker 2: of your parents abomination. That's where God tried to x
Speaker 2: you out.
Speaker 3: You know how your mommy and daddy committed the ultimates
Speaker 3: in Well, their work doesn't go unnoticed.
Speaker 2: We have proof.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're we're gonna make sure you live with that forever.
Speaker 2: I mean that being said, I like this one. I'm
Speaker 2: not against it. But do you feel like an old soul?
Speaker 2: I think so. I I think if i'm you seem
Speaker 2: like you seem like an old man to me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if I'm really reflecting on it, A lot of
Speaker 3: people will respond that way, and it never makes me
Speaker 3: feel good. I think I've always considered myself a young,
Speaker 3: cool person and then they're like, people are like, come on, man,
Speaker 3: go to bed, and I'm like, I don't understand why
Speaker 3: you all treat me this way. I actually love it
Speaker 3: if we were all treated with the same respect. But
Speaker 3: apparently that's not the case.
Speaker 2: That that trailed off. Okay, that got real personal. To
Speaker 2: be completely candid, one time I ate a gang of mushrooms. Yeah,
Speaker 2: a gang of mushrooms, and I got caught looking at
Speaker 2: myself in in the in the mirror, and I don't know,
Speaker 2: how do you explain it? But I just got this
Speaker 2: sense I looked, I like saw like through my to
Speaker 2: like what felt like, you know, the It felt like
Speaker 2: I had been here for a long time, and this
Speaker 2: is this is maybe kind of deep. It felt like
Speaker 2: I had been here for a long time, and that
Speaker 2: my plight was that I'm very clever, but not ultimately
Speaker 2: so it's like, you're very clever, You've you've been clever
Speaker 2: enough to keep yourself this going this long, but maybe
Speaker 2: what you're seeking is like true wisdom. WHOA So you're
Speaker 2: like Loki No, because Loki was like, nah, Loki was
Speaker 2: like nefarious though, right, Like I don't need any harm
Speaker 2: or anything. I think it was just like you was like, oh,
Speaker 2: you're you're this clever bopping around, but you've been like
Speaker 2: instead of bopping around, you just need to stand up
Speaker 2: straight and like take it on head on. But that
Speaker 2: was I was on drugs.
Speaker 3: Was that a revelation for the person you are now
Speaker 3: or was that a revelation of like, oh, the next
Speaker 3: generation of David Borie will learn this new tactic of
Speaker 3: you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: It felt more like you was for who I am.
Speaker 2: It felt like it was the lesson I'm supposed to
Speaker 2: take out of all of this.
Speaker 3: And maybe you can stop the chain of events.
Speaker 2: That that right? Right? Because not even a sound, yeah,
Speaker 2: because not even the sound corny. It was like a
Speaker 2: pretty pivotal moment in my life. I mean, I'm still
Speaker 2: silly as hell, but like it was like because I
Speaker 2: do feel like there's a there's like a level of
Speaker 2: like being clever and or charming in life that like
Speaker 2: can really cause you to shirk responsibilities, Like both of
Speaker 2: those things, specifically being charming can really get you out
Speaker 2: of having to do a lot of things for yourself
Speaker 2: and whatnot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, now you can you just being a likable person,
Speaker 3: you can navigate the world with almost zero skills, That's.
Speaker 2: What I'm saying. And then and then for me, sometimes
Speaker 2: I worry that, like maybe my skill is more being
Speaker 2: likable than it is actual skill. And that's not like
Speaker 2: that's you can't get by, but at some point that
Speaker 2: tab is gonna come do. And that's what the mushrooms
Speaker 2: made me feel, Like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's good. The mushrooms like made you call
Speaker 3: yourself to the table in a way that I think
Speaker 3: a bunch of silly motherfuckers never will you.
Speaker 2: Know what I mean, Like I mean, you gotta eat
Speaker 2: a gang of them.
Speaker 3: Imagine if you're just a silly motherfucker and you only
Speaker 3: do coke, you know what I mean, you never get
Speaker 3: to the mushrooms. Then you're just a dude who like
Speaker 3: is gonna live with charm for for as long as
Speaker 3: it exists, and then immediately become unlikable around like forty
Speaker 3: five when everybody's like.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm gonna say, that's about when it runs out,
Speaker 2: when it's like, okay, you were doing it some people's wedding,
Speaker 2: but now you're back for their twentieth anniversary. Yeah, you're
Speaker 2: still doing blowing the bathroom and they're like, maybe we
Speaker 2: just don't need to have.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're good many yeah, or like, oh, you're smoking
Speaker 3: in front of my kids kids, now, yeah, some of
Speaker 3: these bits, some of these bits feel like maybe you
Speaker 3: didn't have to do that one and no, no, no.
Speaker 2: No, no no no, Like it's not funny that you're drunk. Now,
Speaker 2: it's just like, yeah.
Speaker 3: Fifteen years ago this was hilarious.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna hold you. But now you drove here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we all parked in the same place. I got
Speaker 3: car seats in the back.
Speaker 2: Maybe honestly, we only invited you because we thought you
Speaker 2: weren't going to have the money to fly in. So
Speaker 2: this is all. It's all as much as you.
Speaker 1: That's yeah.
Speaker 2: I like it though, Yeah, yeah, yeah, well that's because
Speaker 2: you're an old bad guy. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I do feel like an old soul. I do think
Speaker 3: that that probably is an accurate description of me, and
Speaker 3: I would say I will say, though I don't know
Speaker 3: if I would have that same description. I guess I would. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't know. I was thinking it is my wife
Speaker 3: and old soul, but like she likes to go to
Speaker 3: bed at like nine thirty. So I'm gonna say, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I think that's different. I think that's different. I think
Speaker 3: the idea of being an old soul is like something
Speaker 3: you feel inherently and it's probably always been with you.
Speaker 3: I mean, you can't deny like being young and having
Speaker 3: a body and then like you know, of course, when
Speaker 3: you were twenty, you like to stay up later than
Speaker 3: you like to do now. Like I don't think that.
Speaker 2: I think that's just like youth, literal youth, but that
Speaker 2: idea of like like that feeling of like your being
Speaker 2: is older or whatever. And I think there's a level
Speaker 2: of tiredness that I have had my whole life that
Speaker 2: most people don't, you know what I mean, like a weight.
Speaker 3: Of some And I'll say that I feel I feel
Speaker 3: connected to what you are saying. And I will say
Speaker 3: that I don't think that that is true of my wife.
Speaker 3: I think that she's very much a No things are good,
Speaker 3: the light, life is floaty. I I right, So there's clouds.
Speaker 3: Let's look at the clouds and talk about that kind Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's like I don't think I don't think you see
Speaker 3: what those clouds are made of baby Yeah. Those a
Speaker 3: poison clows.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's rain waiting to drop on. I also
Speaker 2: get the feeling like there was like a time in
Speaker 2: my life. I just feel like I've been through a
Speaker 2: lot of things that were back like not like the
Speaker 2: potato famine, but whatever, like some kind of rice famines
Speaker 2: in Africa where I was just like, yeah, yeah, the
Speaker 2: rain really fucked us this. I know. Man, I feel
Speaker 2: like an old soul and I have a birthmark, is
Speaker 2: all I'm saying here.
Speaker 3: Well, I think maybe, Kim, to answer your question, it
Speaker 3: sounds like your family isn't completely off base on the
Speaker 3: possibility that birthmarks may be associated.
Speaker 2: With old waves. Wait, does your wife have a birthmark?
Speaker 2: She does? Okay, this is complicated, yes, just bigger. Oh,
Speaker 2: because maybe it's the size of the birthmark thing.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna I'm going to say mine, but I can't
Speaker 3: say for sure.
Speaker 2: Because you ever somebody like with a face like all
Speaker 2: birth marked up and you're like, you've been here?
Speaker 3: How long are you staying?
Speaker 2: Yeah? You need to learn it. Man. You were come on, man,
Speaker 2: you you fought with Genghis Karm No, man, it's you
Speaker 2: should have seen the internet.
Speaker 3: I haven't seen Chris Cross Apple sauce my man. We
Speaker 3: gotta we got some work to do.
Speaker 2: Just go back your church. No, I think I think
Speaker 2: I think we did it. I think that this all
Speaker 2: feels very viable to me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I think there there must be some
Speaker 3: legitimacy to your claim, Kim, And if there's not, who
Speaker 3: cares there's We've lost nothing in all of this.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, We're really all gonna be just fine. Boy.
Speaker 3: Do you want to tell the people where they can
Speaker 3: find you and what cool ship you have going on?
Speaker 2: I keep forgetting my dates, but who got Jokes eighty seven?
Speaker 2: They'll be on there pretty soon. I'm going around this summer.
Speaker 2: Come check it out, trying to get the jokes the
Speaker 2: hour together to record something maybe at the end of
Speaker 2: the year, and then you know, subscribe to our YouTube,
Speaker 2: but not too fast. And that's that's what I got.
Speaker 2: Take your time.
Speaker 3: I love that well.
Speaker 2: As always.
Speaker 3: You can follow me at Langston Kerman and I'll be
Speaker 3: in Bloomington, Indiana next week the April twenty eighth and
Speaker 3: twenty ninth, and then the following week May fifth and sixth,
Speaker 3: I'll be at the Atlanta Comedy theater, and then the
Speaker 3: week after that I will be at Wives Guys in
Speaker 3: Las Vegas, so so plenty of opportunities to come see
Speaker 3: me live. It's very different than than whatever this is
Speaker 3: that we get into, and so that that's nice for
Speaker 3: you because you'll be like, whoa ah, wow, that's that's new.
Speaker 3: He said words that I don't recognize sometimes that's that's cool.
Speaker 2: Is that what you say here?
Speaker 3: Life is Yeah, i'd say that that everybody who leaves
Speaker 3: goes eh.
Speaker 2: That's pretty cool, all right. Mind is similar to this,
Speaker 2: I'm just talking longer. It's like the same. Probably a
Speaker 2: lot of the same plot points, recurring themes, Definitely.
Speaker 3: A lot of terry crews talk in the live show
Speaker 3: with Bory.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Just up top though, and as always, you can if
Speaker 3: you want to send us your own drops, your own
Speaker 3: conspiracy theories, if you want to to explain why your
Speaker 3: birthmark actually makes you a young soul, a child at heart,
Speaker 3: then please send that to my mama pot at gmail
Speaker 3: dot com. We would love to hear from you. That
Speaker 3: is about it. By bitch, motherfucking Mini yourself.
Speaker 1: Mini epis, motherfucking Mini yourself, motherfucking Mini yourself Mini episod
Speaker 1: we Fucking Mini verslf my Love sh