Speaker 1: Bory is in charge of the soundpad that can do
Speaker 1: all kinds of ship like that. No, yep, and that
Speaker 1: that can happen at any time, anytime.
Speaker 2: You go ahead and relax. It's like family. When Brian
Speaker 2: got the radio show.
Speaker 1: That's sort of yeah.
Speaker 2: Are Brian?
Speaker 3: What was the draft tip group called?
Speaker 2: I don't know. We'd be like Silky and the Hammer,
Speaker 2: all right, And that was first round, those first round.
Speaker 4: I didn't want to imagine who was Silky and who
Speaker 4: was the hammer. It felt it felt emasculating.
Speaker 2: Chips in your racist money man turning stuff. I can't
Speaker 2: tell me. We were chilling in the park, just waiting
Speaker 2: for the sun to go down.
Speaker 5: It was me, shy Bro and the homies, a lighter
Speaker 5: shade of brown Welcome. Little Mama's and Gentiles are like
Speaker 5: to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me Podcasts
Speaker 5: where we dive.
Speaker 1: Deep deep into the pockets of black conspiracy there.
Speaker 2: And we finally put work to prove that there is
Speaker 2: nothing to prove, ain't nothing to prove. I got nothing
Speaker 2: for you.
Speaker 1: That's been the mistake you've had the entire time. And
Speaker 1: she thought that there was something to prove, and we
Speaker 1: weren't even on that.
Speaker 5: I ain't got shit to prove. No, I'm a grown man.
Speaker 5: I own my house, proved it that wasn't true. I
Speaker 5: was gonna stand by you.
Speaker 2: You got to lean into that thomna. Yeah, why'd you
Speaker 2: bail on it? Why do you bail on it so fast?
Speaker 2: It wasn't true. I come on, man, the show business. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they don't know. I'm six too, Bro, they don't even know.
Speaker 2: Come on, just tell them. Yeah, rich as hell exactly.
Speaker 2: Lean into the line. Three dogs, three Just the more
Speaker 2: dogs you have, the worst I do think. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I think you got like five dogs. Like I know,
Speaker 2: it's crazy in there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it smells crazy and your priorities couldn't possibly
Speaker 1: be straight.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean, Like you dogs,
Speaker 2: you know, shopping for you and no practical dogs. It's
Speaker 2: like German shepherds.
Speaker 5: And nobody ever has five dogs has the space to
Speaker 5: accommodate said dog.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like damn, now, I know it's going bad
Speaker 3: in here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you are lining up a bunch of animals
Speaker 1: to die in a type of succession that is like
Speaker 1: a violence to this.
Speaker 2: It's more than the flies. The dogs. Yes, they're dropping off.
Speaker 5: You're setting up your own villain origin story. Six months they.
Speaker 2: Died, why you at work? Yeah? Up? And now you
Speaker 2: come home the dog eight now you John Wick five
Speaker 2: times in a row? Yeah yeah? Or the dogs eating
Speaker 2: the other dog. That's what I'm saying. Oh yeah, I've
Speaker 2: never known.
Speaker 3: And then you now you're now you're looking at your
Speaker 3: best friends eat your best friends.
Speaker 2: Oh no, that's this is upsetting you. That's that's here.
Speaker 2: You're locked in. I didn't get it.
Speaker 5: It's also if you die, it's not gonna go good either.
Speaker 2: Fuck you died.
Speaker 5: Dogs dogs will wait a lot a while though, so
Speaker 5: shout out to Xavier Pool. Very funny comment got to Dallas, Texas.
Speaker 5: He said that he used to work for animal control,
Speaker 5: and the dogs will wait a lot longer.
Speaker 2: I didn't have this data, you know, animal control find
Speaker 2: out so like when they go to someone's house that died,
Speaker 2: they see how long you took the dog. They can
Speaker 2: just how much is eating away You've seen the time
Speaker 2: they've had.
Speaker 3: There's some kind of dog science.
Speaker 6: I'm not.
Speaker 3: I didn't work for them.
Speaker 2: They like, that's about it. Wait for It's like it's
Speaker 2: like a it's not right. Yeah, but that's the worth
Speaker 2: of thigh. They probably got about a week of thigh
Speaker 2: in there. It's been a three weeks.
Speaker 3: But cattle, get your ship tomorrow. You go out tonight.
Speaker 3: Cats they started it's the cheeks.
Speaker 2: Are you a cat or dog person? Dog? And you
Speaker 2: loved so you probably be found before anything happens. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you probably wouldn't bother you. He likes to eat paper towels,
Speaker 2: so I'm not really his taste. That's dope.
Speaker 5: I had My dog likes to shred up sandwich wrappers.
Speaker 5: Well if she don't consumed them. No, she just like
Speaker 5: you know how she is.
Speaker 2: She's just like.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's mad because I'm gone, because she's
Speaker 5: up my ass all day.
Speaker 2: I get it. Yeah, it starts off that way with him.
Speaker 2: His name is Cardi. He's a cocky who's like a
Speaker 2: little bit overweight, and he likes pads too clean ones.
Speaker 2: If he's going really crazy, he was going to try
Speaker 2: to get non clean pass. I'm like, your tripping gardy one.
Speaker 2: I don't mind. I'm nat exactly, but no, he's like,
Speaker 2: oh fresh mad Like if I'm packing, like I have
Speaker 2: my stuff out, like packing my paths, Like is that
Speaker 2: a regular word max right there, and then today when
Speaker 2: I get it. I spoked my first cigarette last night,
Speaker 2: you got whoa, No, what's happening? You don't have to
Speaker 2: do this. Everyone's so judging about it, and I was
Speaker 2: judging the person that I was with who had the cigarette.
Speaker 2: But then I was thinking, I was just talking to
Speaker 2: my homegirl, like you know what, smoking cigarettes is so chic.
Speaker 2: It's county, it's like long day, but it's just never
Speaker 2: like the opportunity never presented itself. And then it did
Speaker 2: last night, and it's like, wow, that's like kiss.
Speaker 5: How did you feel? What kind of cigarette was it?
Speaker 5: I don't know, okay, because that matters.
Speaker 2: My homeway came across the corner with a cigarette in
Speaker 2: his hand, one behind his ear. I'm like, oh, you tripping,
Speaker 2: And then I was like, wait a minute, it's like
Speaker 2: I can smell a cigarette. I just wanted to be strong.
Speaker 2: I see what it was like, and it just tasted
Speaker 2: like it's not as bad as it smells. No, it
Speaker 2: does not taste as bad as it smells. Right, cold?
Speaker 3: Was it a menthol?
Speaker 2: Cold is the best way I could just scratch it? Wasn't.
Speaker 2: I didn't feel like bigspaper.
Speaker 3: No, it wasn't okay, so he was. It was regular tobacco.
Speaker 2: It was just, you know, just a little sick. I was, okay,
Speaker 2: now I did it? Are you a menthol man?
Speaker 5: I used to put him in the freezer sometimes yeah, yeah,
Speaker 5: but they don't freeze the twigs yees yeah, or batteries.
Speaker 2: Oh no, that's different things.
Speaker 3: But I mean the.
Speaker 1: Place you put we're not eating any of these both,
Speaker 1: Like you know, they hit.
Speaker 2: Different when you put in freezing like a twigs far yeah,
Speaker 2: kind of cold. Maybe it's just a psychological fun thing.
Speaker 3: I think in my head it was like keeping them fresher.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, yeah, no, don't take that long smoke. I'm
Speaker 2: learning from the pack. Okay, damn.
Speaker 3: It's more like we've talked about it.
Speaker 1: Sure, I guess I've just never asked enough follow up questions.
Speaker 1: I think sometimes you I do. And I've never smoked
Speaker 1: a cigarette in that chic hot pocket.
Speaker 3: This is fucked up.
Speaker 5: I think we get the same vintage T shirt ads
Speaker 5: on Instagram because I almost got that shirt and white.
Speaker 3: Within the last couple of days.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and then I remember one time I wore a
Speaker 5: shirt and you were like, is that blah, blah blah,
Speaker 5: and I was like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: The algorithm we ventured in the same areas I must
Speaker 2: have like, yeah, FBI agents must be like their cubicles
Speaker 2: might be next to each other.
Speaker 3: They're like, they're doing it again. They're looking at conspiracy.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I like that. I don't want to get to
Speaker 2: the topic.
Speaker 5: He's trying to buy that belly windbreaker again. I hope that.
Speaker 2: I don't know what the contract was with ice can
Speaker 2: because every time I go to Ross he's on every shirt.
Speaker 2: What's that about all the Boys in the Hood. It's
Speaker 2: like Boys in the Hood and Slash, ice Cube and Selena.
Speaker 5: So okay, I bought my little cousin and Boys in
Speaker 5: the Hood sweatsuit. Boys in the Hood? Is this weird
Speaker 5: thing where you're like, is this an I.
Speaker 2: Tell you get the bad moms? Can I tell y'all something?
Speaker 1: I think we would do very well to leave ice
Speaker 1: cubes money alone. I think we would do very well
Speaker 1: to mind our fucking business about how ice Cube goes
Speaker 1: to Dynamite. I think ice Cube has shown a financial
Speaker 1: uh prowess.
Speaker 2: You're trying to get a cue vision of the world's too.
Speaker 2: You want how to leave this guy right here.
Speaker 1: The whole movie right trying not to have ice Cube
Speaker 1: down my back. I think that man has connections that
Speaker 1: don't make sense.
Speaker 2: Is he even involved in these T shirts? That question
Speaker 2: my question. We've never ever seen a pivot like this.
Speaker 5: I don't know him as a Friday bro. He made
Speaker 5: Friday that's.
Speaker 1: The most arguably one of the most hood movies ever made.
Speaker 2: I mean he was in boys Hood. I mean sure.
Speaker 1: I'm saying that, like he showed a commitment to black
Speaker 1: culture that should have never tapped over into white cross
Speaker 1: You know, I'm saying.
Speaker 2: It's scaring me for y'all to be talking nasty. I
Speaker 2: don't think you're scaring me. I'm not a victim here.
Speaker 1: I'm demanding that we not get murdered when we walk
Speaker 1: out of this building because we.
Speaker 2: Talked about what is the Ice keeps doing? Name about
Speaker 2: O Shane Jackson senior me inquiring why T shirts on
Speaker 2: white children from ros Why are you get an ice
Speaker 2: keep shirt? Why is there an ice keep shirt? Not
Speaker 2: even so much? Do you need some money situation? I'm
Speaker 2: just saying, did you sign up on this? Osha?
Speaker 5: I hate to I hate the stereotype, but like white
Speaker 5: kid in an Ice Cube T shirt. That's a dirty
Speaker 5: ass white kid. Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2: Any white person that says yay yay, that's not the
Speaker 2: right white. That's a bad white. You don't want that.
Speaker 2: Ice whites are the most dangerous white. I don't think
Speaker 2: I've met ice Cube white, and I don't ever want
Speaker 2: to know. Not after sunset.
Speaker 1: You're supposed to put that down like a dog.
Speaker 2: I had to do.
Speaker 5: Okay, this is something I was thinking about. I tried
Speaker 5: to do a bit of your work. Have you ever
Speaker 5: noticed that Tupac Merch is a bad guy and Biggie
Speaker 5: Merch is like classy person?
Speaker 2: What is that about? You ever noticed that?
Speaker 5: But it seems like you should be swapped because Tupac
Speaker 5: was talking that revolutionary ship.
Speaker 2: Biggie was just talking but like and Biggie was the colorist. Mmmm,
Speaker 2: say more about that?
Speaker 1: Yeahs continued, You know the ugly escape bitches, faith over,
Speaker 1: little Kim going.
Speaker 2: On, Christopher Wallace, what's going on? What's up? What's up? Beer?
Speaker 5: I think that he I think he had issues with it.
Speaker 5: Heart throw never fat, black and ugly as ever. Yeah,
Speaker 5: I think it's however, down to the socks. I think
Speaker 5: it took a while for that man to get pussy.
Speaker 1: But when he got it, and I think he really was.
Speaker 1: We were seeing a journey in its later end and
Speaker 1: in that or in a later start, and I think
Speaker 1: in that way he was doing sometimes little boys ship
Speaker 1: where you're like, I want to be bad, light skinned one.
Speaker 2: But it's not right.
Speaker 5: And I think he would have got He wasn't like that,
Speaker 5: right they say puff put him onto that, Like he
Speaker 5: wasn't like that.
Speaker 2: That wasn't even his way. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think as he got older he probably would
Speaker 1: have matured.
Speaker 2: They were only like twenty four and twenty five. They
Speaker 2: were bays anyway. He wasn't even older yet. Twenty four. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I hadn't figured out where my body parts were and
Speaker 2: that's why it was mine. Yeah, but I have more body.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's fair a complicated system.
Speaker 2: It's I'm still finding new ship. Yeah. So it's it's
Speaker 2: a lot, and I can't look down there. Y'all can
Speaker 2: bring y'all stuff to y'all. I gotta get got got
Speaker 2: to get them. I got a two stroke engine. You
Speaker 2: got a V eight, you know, And it's it's areas.
Speaker 3: You got You're using different kinds of fuel.
Speaker 2: It's a lot. I got a pedal bike down here.
Speaker 2: It had its own doctor. I don't have a what
Speaker 2: You also just have to hold it off. I got
Speaker 2: one of them big wheels with the little wheel. That's
Speaker 2: a little bit. It's just instructions. And if you wipe
Speaker 2: it wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah, now you got to get medicine.
Speaker 2: Yeah damn. I never had to get medicine because of
Speaker 2: a wiping decision me either. No. I wipe like front,
Speaker 2: back to front, and I pray you're not doing that. No,
Speaker 2: I'm not okay something like that. But you had to
Speaker 2: learn to learn. You got to learn stuff. But then
Speaker 2: that was never the issue. I learned that if I
Speaker 2: had one, you know how, I learned to stop wiping
Speaker 2: back to the front. I got huge care of it.
Speaker 2: That is saying, right, aba, you used to wipe back
Speaker 2: to front because I thought that was the logical choice.
Speaker 2: I didn't know any better. No one ever been down
Speaker 2: there or anything otherwise. Do you remember the the website
Speaker 2: FML yeah, my life we've never heard of before. I
Speaker 2: sauch a weird middle period where I wasn't on the internet.
Speaker 2: It is like two thousand and nine, and you would
Speaker 2: have to it's when websites were thinking to go to
Speaker 2: an actual w W W.
Speaker 1: Do If you wanted to watch funny videos, you had
Speaker 1: to go to a funny video site.
Speaker 2: That means you need a computer exactly.
Speaker 3: That's where okay, and I did not.
Speaker 2: We had those in my house, my own. I was
Speaker 2: on my own to do it. No, he ran, he
Speaker 2: ran away from home. Yeah, yeah, out resource. Yes what
Speaker 2: the lore later put a pending that Okay, we're gonna
Speaker 2: get some lore.
Speaker 3: The point is I was not on the computer from
Speaker 3: about two thousand four to two thousand and ten. I
Speaker 3: was pretty much not.
Speaker 1: On the When he found out Obama was president, he
Speaker 1: went crazy.
Speaker 5: I can still see T shirts likes then he I
Speaker 5: could still see the merchant.
Speaker 2: With moments of Internet and it got really before the
Speaker 2: thing became just social media. It was other areas in
Speaker 2: the Age website. I fucked my life and people would
Speaker 2: say like this, I walked outside and drop my tacos.
Speaker 2: Oh fuck my life. It would be something low level,
Speaker 2: be higher, but a lot I saw a lot of
Speaker 2: them was like I went down on a girl and
Speaker 2: I found out she weps back to front. Fucked my
Speaker 2: life and I'm like, okay, what's Oh fourteen, So I'm like,
Speaker 2: what's that mean? Whoa? And I didn't realize that you're
Speaker 2: wiping ship juice up. You were a big age finding
Speaker 2: this out. What I mean? I was like, thirteen fourteen, damn,
Speaker 2: that's that's I didn't know that because you know the coach,
Speaker 2: you don't really start working gearing up for real.
Speaker 3: Okay, what I say is this is women's business.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I wasn't eating a ut hour at twelve hours, right.
Speaker 2: The coat is just like hey, this chilling, Like what's
Speaker 2: the period starts like, all right, we're working on all cylinders.
Speaker 3: Now I'm completely comfortable.
Speaker 2: So now I was like, oh, I need to start
Speaker 2: actually taking care of this organ which is there, you know.
Speaker 1: Taking care of mine. I don't know that I've done
Speaker 1: everything I care though, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't have to do it.
Speaker 3: Once a month. Like a gun.
Speaker 2: Don't go off in the close? What's the care? Safety
Speaker 2: is uncircumcised people is at a safety? No, that's the
Speaker 2: riskiest way to live, I'd say, uncircumcised. Yeah, yeah, yeah
Speaker 2: it is, uh it real off? No, no, no, what's
Speaker 2: going like? I'm just imply short. You're not gonna catch
Speaker 2: my man slipping.
Speaker 5: No, no, no, no, no, well actually more than ever, we're
Speaker 5: not gonna catch you slipping.
Speaker 2: We're talking about circumcised versus short. Sure, yeah, y'all did y'all?
Speaker 2: Are you like we're.
Speaker 5: Because it's not just in tone. Okay, this is a
Speaker 5: fun exercise just talking to like it. Yess, that's fair.
Speaker 2: I can hear the last. I'm guessing you're the turtleneck
Speaker 2: and you're the crew neck like that. Don't say it
Speaker 2: like you you must be the turtleneck slips you the thing.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, damn, this is yo. We were having
Speaker 2: a good time, you were having.
Speaker 1: You introduced the nasty You should introduce the nasty game.
Speaker 2: I was gonna anyways, well you proposed it as if
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: This is my context framing. It was a framing thing.
Speaker 2: I don't even think I've said my name.
Speaker 1: We we will started the podcast, it's starting. We we
Speaker 1: did the yeah, we did the song, everything like, hey,
Speaker 1: you're fine. They don't know you're safe.
Speaker 5: We we love talking about coucie technology to.
Speaker 1: It's literally how we start time is not at all,
Speaker 1: and then somehow all of it ends up in and
Speaker 1: have we been having fun?
Speaker 2: I'm like maybe this is just me.
Speaker 3: No, No, you came to the right place.
Speaker 2: Okay, if you think you started this in your room, we're.
Speaker 5: Gonna get We're gonna go back to Front Today, ABC.
Speaker 2: And Deco over here. I love that. Let's get the animiot.
Speaker 3: I got some you know, we got a nurse on site.
Speaker 2: That's perfect. Can we get something floaking? Hey, let me
Speaker 2: get some meth with quin too. I'm trying to party.
Speaker 2: I've had all the prescriptions in my twenties. You listened
Speaker 2: a lot more than I knew. Yeah, I don't even know.
Speaker 2: I can't do nothing up here. People doing like bathroom
Speaker 2: body works bath like, uh they know that would get
Speaker 2: up and leave. Well, that's because you did.
Speaker 1: So you did thirteen years of damage.
Speaker 2: I think through the hell even never came up. I
Speaker 2: just assumed that maybe I figured it out.
Speaker 1: Like you checked out during that conversation. I pray you
Speaker 1: checked out, because my God, is thirteen too long.
Speaker 2: I mean, well, I didn't know we're already here. I
Speaker 2: didn't know where my actual vagina was until college. That's okay. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I didn't know where I couldn't locate it. Well, I
Speaker 2: didn't know my homegow were here. I was trying to
Speaker 2: figure out how to put a tampon on again, Sure,
Speaker 2: okay putting it on? I was no, I was, I
Speaker 2: was being silly. Oh that was so I understand. Next
Speaker 2: I was like I didn't know how to put it
Speaker 2: because I didn't know where my vagina was.
Speaker 5: I understand that idea where you're like, oh, let it
Speaker 5: hug it and then it'll.
Speaker 2: Kind of because every couch she's had a hot dog bun.
Speaker 2: Luckily because I had, I was like, you got to
Speaker 2: tell you boys about that. So I remember seeing a
Speaker 2: few platters in my day. My god one time side
Speaker 2: of the lambay again too, Can I have you on
Speaker 2: Sidey's that's a phue. So yeah, my home with the dorms.
Speaker 2: When the dorms that and my HBC and they have
Speaker 2: like usually the shower stalls. There was one tub stall.
Speaker 2: We have more room in there. We're going there and
Speaker 2: she we're coochies is out. She's like, okay, what you
Speaker 2: do is oh she taught you. She's breaking it down.
Speaker 2: I will lay bloomer. So boy had never touched my couchie,
Speaker 2: so I didn't know where it was.
Speaker 5: I will want to say, I do want to say.
Speaker 5: This is what I had prayed was happening in college dorms.
Speaker 2: College. It wasn't nearly as erotic as niggas, but imagine
Speaker 2: it wasn't. I was like, okay, girl, what you do
Speaker 2: is spread.
Speaker 3: What a good friend though?
Speaker 2: Friends? Yeah, we're not like besties, but it's like that
Speaker 2: every birthday, every really, what my bdding is in like
Speaker 2: four months, she's not going to come.
Speaker 1: I was her, It's cool, Okay, you gotta repair this relationship.
Speaker 1: This this person taught you to put a tampon. She
Speaker 1: didn't have to do that.
Speaker 2: That's what womanhood. And you know, it's just getting so personal.
Speaker 2: But I finally got my couchie on track when I
Speaker 2: was said twenty four by twent before I got my
Speaker 2: coushie together. Okay, it was very sensitive. I didn't know
Speaker 2: what I was doing because the reason I didn't know
Speaker 2: where my guchie was because I went to the it's
Speaker 2: just get deep. We're here going to college where I
Speaker 2: went to college. I thought I was bron I was
Speaker 2: a very notorious version. Just I was like, I'm a virgin.
Speaker 2: Everyone alo I have coming. Literally it was very annoying.
Speaker 2: Let her have the room to herself. Who tweets from
Speaker 2: twenty eleven. I said, oh what a bitch, She said,
Speaker 2: you were bragging about it on Twitter. My my, May
Speaker 2: twenty twenty eleven. I graduated from high school and I might.
Speaker 3: Were the same age.
Speaker 2: Yeah see ye I that I know, I know, I
Speaker 2: know I was driving. I posted on Facebook. I was like,
Speaker 2: I graduated from high school at sixteen years old. I
Speaker 2: was sixteen and then one hundred percent version family here
Speaker 2: I come. And it was just like, that's I'm glad
Speaker 2: that man. It was something one of them city ball. No,
Speaker 2: that's not true. That's not true. It was it was.
Speaker 2: It was bad, and I was like, I'm going to
Speaker 2: go to the guy in colleges because when I get
Speaker 2: to college, it's gonna be fun. I'm gonna be doing me.
Speaker 2: My friends had a conversation like, hey, okay, when we
Speaker 2: go to college and started doing sex stuff, we got
Speaker 2: to have a cold black head girl. Was this a
Speaker 2: level eight on the whole scale? Was this a ten?
Speaker 2: Maybe it was a two? So we had to keep
Speaker 2: each other up. We went to different schools.
Speaker 5: Okay, so why did you have to tell each We
Speaker 5: all tell you what I can continue. Why did you
Speaker 5: need to it just numbers make it bitch, I did, Okay.
Speaker 2: What you did? What level is it?
Speaker 1: And then I was like the story it was just
Speaker 1: a fun game of fine, yeah, just keeping it.
Speaker 2: America, lize black girl's going to take that idea.
Speaker 3: I'm not the man to write you think.
Speaker 2: About something similar and they about it. Black women.
Speaker 5: Black women do need their coming of age sex movie.
Speaker 5: I would say that that's crazy.
Speaker 2: There's no stuff you.
Speaker 5: Can I think that that is so funny. And if
Speaker 5: you need it, like a weird old janitor at the
Speaker 5: high school.
Speaker 2: You just you just told me, Yeah you need.
Speaker 5: Just rework that whole ship a star quarterback in the movie.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll keep picture myself.
Speaker 2: Okay. Yeah, And it's like and we do come together.
Speaker 1: Potato Janitor co Janitors, I would say, potato is crazy,
Speaker 1: sweet potato pies nuts.
Speaker 2: It will be.
Speaker 3: I think this is the greatest idea we've ever knowing about.
Speaker 2: My people will call you people.
Speaker 1: We have the and we have recorded this, so uh,
Speaker 1: don't try to back out of it.
Speaker 2: You you are you need to. Let Will Varrol be
Speaker 2: in somehow. Maybe the janitors have a book. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: we need like a black stiffler. It will figure it out. Yeah,
Speaker 2: a black girl Stiffler. That's the best idea. Girl Stiffler.
Speaker 2: Come on, And I know black girl stifflers like that
Speaker 2: they exists. Are scared me my whole life.
Speaker 1: I know a lot of black girls who were perverts. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't have the representation that they deserve.
Speaker 2: Either, like hyper sexual just like slipt Jessebel. Yeah, we
Speaker 2: need like just a Stiffler.
Speaker 3: She makes the noises.
Speaker 2: And then like Stiffatt's dad, find daddy. Oh ship, I
Speaker 2: didn't even think about that. Oh my god, I could
Speaker 2: be Stiffler's dad. Whoa, whoa. Now you're a sex symbol.
Speaker 2: That's a whole new life for me. Now you're Jennifer Cooley.
Speaker 2: That's a whole new life for me. Like, that's what
Speaker 2: you need to we need to take has two dads,
Speaker 2: But you're the sexy one. But but.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, you're the one that the internet.
Speaker 2: You just the fun, That's all I'm trying to do. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but she's so sexy away because she has two dads
Speaker 2: tell her about sex and opening the house.
Speaker 1: I will say, as I'm reflecting on it now, it
Speaker 1: is going to make you a pedophile.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's unfortunately, it sucks that you back to
Speaker 2: that quarter. Just now hitting me that that is a pedophile.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's not. I just want to make it out.
Speaker 3: I just want to be I want the idea of Stiffler's.
Speaker 2: But yeah, we'll age them up. Maybe friends has an
Speaker 2: older sister that's like twenty six. Now we're exiting. Okay,
Speaker 2: now we're imagining. But I found cologist and I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm getting a pastor because I'm grown. I don't know
Speaker 2: if you'all familiar with the speculum.
Speaker 5: The machine that they used, it's like that stretching machine
Speaker 5: in the gym.
Speaker 2: It is. I literally I'm gonna jumped up the table
Speaker 2: and I said, you put that ship away. And they
Speaker 2: was like, hey girl, you must have been wiping back
Speaker 2: to front because your PhD got in that world. So
Speaker 2: they're like, here some medicine world. Break it back. They
Speaker 2: gave me medicine. But it was like, this is so
Speaker 2: I'm just telling all my business. I don't care that
Speaker 2: seventeen year oldf is embarrassed. I mean, don't give great now.
Speaker 2: So this is Mars pussy as far as I can tell.
Speaker 2: So they were like, here's the medicine. They hear a
Speaker 2: lot of flaming hot process. Cheat what I'm saying, it's
Speaker 2: very red, that's front, it's got fire coming out of it.
Speaker 2: So they gave me, they gave me medicine. But it
Speaker 2: was like it's a pository MM out there, but you
Speaker 2: basically but like described and you got to put it
Speaker 2: up there. But I did. I was literally just putting
Speaker 2: on like mustard because I didn't know what is going on.
Speaker 2: Fuck maw, this sucks. It's I don't know, but it does.
Speaker 2: I figured it out that it just sucks that you
Speaker 2: went through this.
Speaker 3: It's hard.
Speaker 2: I don't even I don't think you know, kids of stupid.
Speaker 2: So I didn't ask my mom because I just figured
Speaker 2: thought I knew whatever. Yeah, So when it wasn't like
Speaker 2: doing nothing, I was like what I got and I
Speaker 2: was like, oh, I don't know where my couchie is.
Speaker 2: That's when that I was, Okay, that's tough. That's gotta be. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's got to be a crazy feeling at that age. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like what's that.
Speaker 5: I didn't know where this ship was at any point,
Speaker 5: Call the cops.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't even know the.
Speaker 2: Seed down there. And then it's like you know coochies.
Speaker 5: You gotta, but you want to find it.
Speaker 2: And it's not like you were in them books. It's
Speaker 2: like the secret Garden and not in not in your
Speaker 2: own pants, and you're out of that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, with the mirror right now.
Speaker 2: I didn't hit the mirror, but it just overwhelming.
Speaker 5: I was the first time you go down there, I
Speaker 5: just I don't the first time I was down there.
Speaker 2: You're beating your meat, is what you're trying to say.
Speaker 2: I was, Yeah, but I didn't even know I could
Speaker 2: go down there. It was it was what is it?
Speaker 2: You must never go there symbols. I didn't even go
Speaker 2: all the way down. You figured out that hood and
Speaker 2: you were straight. I was right here with what I
Speaker 2: like to do. I getting made fun of this in
Speaker 2: the keV verse. The my emoji is a bathtub for
Speaker 2: a reason.
Speaker 1: I don't have a better way of introducing you at
Speaker 1: this point. You know, I think you think you've done
Speaker 1: the work. Yeah, let's say it. You did the goddamn work.
Speaker 1: You showed us who the fuck you are. We we
Speaker 1: are so happy to have her here. Y'all gonna clip,
Speaker 1: Absolutely we are.
Speaker 2: You don't think we're not. We're not seeing my signs
Speaker 2: right now. This damn, I said, got her cooked. I'm cooked, man,
Speaker 2: Mel Mitchell. The face it's like every face, three cameras
Speaker 2: right here in my face. Whatever I say, the crazy,
Speaker 2: She's like, damn, that's gonna be the thumb. Now. I
Speaker 2: went on Chocolate Sundays. I said one sentence and then
Speaker 2: the one. I was like, yeah, I got you, but
Speaker 2: blah blah thumb nail. I got you know, that's that's
Speaker 2: my thing.
Speaker 3: So no girl, but again Chocolate Mondays.
Speaker 2: So but hey, guys, I'm Mel Mitchell with the with
Speaker 2: the crazy cochi of stage, which is crazy with that
Speaker 2: crazy cuchie.
Speaker 3: That's that's a Facebook name, crazy Crazy.
Speaker 2: But you learn how to And once I started being
Speaker 2: fast with boys and I got fingers, I was like,
Speaker 2: oh that's what it's all the way down there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and now your probably game got a little better.
Speaker 5: Right, Yeah, like when it comes to you're so good
Speaker 5: you keep it in the front of the house.
Speaker 2: Okay, so you like the DJ. Of course I read DJs,
Speaker 2: but the short version is I mean like I learned
Speaker 2: how to. I learned how to DJ. I figured I
Speaker 2: discovered DJ when I was like twelve, did it aggressively
Speaker 2: in the summer two thousand and six. It was right,
Speaker 2: it was insane. Actually, we were both doing that at
Speaker 2: the same hey is his name?
Speaker 1: Any summer after about nineteen ninety eight, I was doing it.
Speaker 2: We were probably all doing it to a Lloyd. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I did that, and perhaps honestly, I didn't even know
Speaker 2: what I was doing for us. I didn't even need
Speaker 2: nothing just happened. I'm just seeing what's doing. I wasn't
Speaker 2: a visual I didn't have noth individualized. I'm just like,
Speaker 2: see what's going on. Oh that's kind of beautiful though,
Speaker 2: and then I was shamed with guilt because oh god,
Speaker 2: I'm going to get struck by light and then go
Speaker 2: to hell. So I was like I stopped. And then
Speaker 2: high school I rediscovered it in summer boredom, and then
Speaker 2: I used to be on the message boards coking Teret
Speaker 2: and I used to read a lot of fan fictions.
Speaker 2: But on the message board the fan fiction was like
Speaker 2: a adult's only section. I'm meetings like fifty fiction. So
Speaker 2: it was bbs reloaded it's the name of the website,
Speaker 2: and it was mostly like, it's like black girls writing
Speaker 2: fan fiction, so it's not like Twilight and Ship. But
Speaker 2: it was like I might. It's based on so most
Speaker 2: of the oh with the whole thing. I have jokes
Speaker 2: about this. It was actually very insane some of my
Speaker 2: my origin stories. I was writing some erotic fan fiction
Speaker 2: when I was thirteen. I didn't have any I didn't
Speaker 2: know what I was doing, but I was like it
Speaker 2: was between me and like Chris Brown, and then my
Speaker 2: sister Chris saw it. Yeah, this is two than seven.
Speaker 2: And I was a really big Chris Brown fan until
Speaker 2: I definitely wasn't but some of but in two thousand
Speaker 2: and seven it was a story. I was a big
Speaker 2: B five fan. Okay, I love B.
Speaker 1: Five five B five were them five boys, the Breeding five.
Speaker 1: They were like a rebuild of the.
Speaker 3: Jackson Oh super light skin kind. I know what you're
Speaker 3: talking about.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I know.
Speaker 1: You just a girl and we thank you, We thank
Speaker 1: you for your business. A lot of people have turned
Speaker 1: on us, so it's it's nice you know that there's
Speaker 1: somebody still out there.
Speaker 2: I try my best, Like I'm getting a Chocolate King
Speaker 2: is like every time I go out, You're a color
Speaker 2: is Michel, But I swear I'm not like I love
Speaker 2: Chocolate King. The Green Niggas.
Speaker 5: Man. That's how they come to Yeah, damn no, I
Speaker 5: don't think it would work as well if you were
Speaker 5: a green eyed dude.
Speaker 1: Yeah no, I I wouldn't trust you to look in
Speaker 1: my eyes, yeah and not take advantage of that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, greenizes. Yeah, the green eyeses a lot, and my
Speaker 2: green eyes, like I never went full green eyes before.
Speaker 2: I never went full green eyes. You didn't counted, I guess.
Speaker 2: So yeah, you said, yeah, it's like now it's just
Speaker 2: we're green ezing now. Yeah. So like my kids going
Speaker 2: to like Steph Curry kids, and it's like, Okay, that's
Speaker 2: just my life now. Yeah, everyone's not green eyes with
Speaker 2: me because you know, the gene's gonna take over. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and they are going to talk different to you in
Speaker 2: the house. Yeah. Oh really is that? I'm already being
Speaker 2: for all the works the scenario. I'm already ready for it.
Speaker 5: Because my wife I'm trying to darken her doorstep. Okay,
Speaker 5: we're trying to bring it back. She's good.
Speaker 2: Now I'm trying to bring it bringing it.
Speaker 3: Let's bring it back over here.
Speaker 2: We can get back to straight black. Yeah. So the
Speaker 2: bloodline is he does have eight great black great grandparents.
Speaker 2: I've checked. I don't always play like that. You know
Speaker 2: what I'm saying. I make sure it's just a mono
Speaker 2: racial light skin. Okay, fine, but yeah, how do you
Speaker 2: even get on my skin? Oh? Be five? Yeah, please
Speaker 2: write fan fiction and want what you want? Want? What's that?
Speaker 2: What was the B five hits song? Oh dude is
Speaker 2: Oh that's right. They remade the Troop song. I'm thinking
Speaker 2: of a different song. Oh was it a just I
Speaker 2: think it was a Troop?
Speaker 1: Oh no, Troop remade it in the eighties and they
Speaker 1: kind of sampled the true version, but it's still Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that was like the whole But yeah, I was
Speaker 1: writing a sexy between me and Chris.
Speaker 2: I wrote a story and it was based off the
Speaker 2: song Circle by Marcus Houston. Of course, because of course
Speaker 2: it was yeah and a fine man as well. No, no,
Speaker 2: because he was wearing through trench coach like it was
Speaker 2: never really for me. Oh sure, I think my big
Speaker 2: he was came out like, heyday was this child? I
Speaker 2: was gonna say he was too sexy to young.
Speaker 5: As he grew up and did it didn't he was
Speaker 5: like because immaturity, dressed like a man, but he was
Speaker 5: still a boy.
Speaker 2: That's that's a tough fact.
Speaker 1: And you could tell that he was gonna have a
Speaker 1: weird shape, you know what I mean, Like it wasn't
Speaker 1: finished yet, but you could tell.
Speaker 2: Like the hair hit that hit, yeah, and the my
Speaker 2: head was unleast. She was like, oh, that's your head.
Speaker 1: He got, he got, And I want to be respectful
Speaker 1: about this. He got little person head.
Speaker 3: Which is, uh, that's an affliction that strikes many.
Speaker 1: It's not a judgment, is I think of that shape wise? Yeah,
Speaker 1: just shaped like what I think is a part of
Speaker 1: a lot that is kind.
Speaker 2: Of like the peanuts from Proud Family m but like rotated. Yes.
Speaker 1: And I want to be careful about making any more
Speaker 1: comparisons because now we're getting into dangerous territory of what
Speaker 1: I said mixing with what you said, and now they're
Speaker 1: going to be like we are saying little people have
Speaker 1: peanuts shaped.
Speaker 2: Go deeper, stay with me now. And what hurt me
Speaker 2: is all he's saying something important. I'm separable. You're saying
Speaker 2: you please don't get me sent to jail. So yeah,
Speaker 2: the erotic scene and it was like, okay, I was
Speaker 2: with Brian from BEEFI because he was when I was
Speaker 2: my age, So I was like, okay, my name on
Speaker 2: everything was Brian's Girl ninety four That's beautiful and thank you.
Speaker 2: And so I was with Brian in high school and
Speaker 2: you know the song so he fell apart And I'm
Speaker 2: with Chris Brown now because of course I am. And
Speaker 2: you're going crazy, but this is like years later. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but like taste right at this time. Why you're not
Speaker 2: being tacky about it? You're not like next week now?
Speaker 2: Hold no, like they're wrong now. So, like they weren't
Speaker 2: together in high school and she's like, I don't know
Speaker 2: ultimate that. I was like, oh, she's like twenty two.
Speaker 2: Who she's still grown so I'm thirteen, and I was, yeah,
Speaker 2: she's a lady whoa well? And I was writing the
Speaker 2: sex scene between me and Chris Brown and I say
Speaker 2: Brian's name during sex. Oh, and Chris Brown's not gonna
Speaker 2: like that at all.
Speaker 3: No, not that country boy from Tapa Handache.
Speaker 2: Now he is where he resides. Understand it is a
Speaker 2: little man. And you see that band in a hanger.
Speaker 2: That means he's like a bandit might like abandoned woof Yeah,
Speaker 2: Oh good for y'all kids. Kiss And I'm not gonna
Speaker 2: like denounced Chris Brown because like you keep on embrassment.
Speaker 2: You're just not a good person. I can't keep but
Speaker 2: like I'll be like, I'm a country. I got it. Sorry.
Speaker 3: I had to think of it as a paint song.
Speaker 2: That is a good way to think healthy. I got
Speaker 2: paper Girls and now he started me. But yeah, so
Speaker 2: I was writing getting word and this is before Wi
Speaker 2: Fi and you have to little U USB ship to
Speaker 2: put like Sprint would sell the USB to get on
Speaker 2: the Internet, but with wireless, but we had one per household.
Speaker 3: I am aware of the technology.
Speaker 2: Okay, you weren't there, but you remember, I know that
Speaker 2: that was a way to get the Internet. So yeah,
Speaker 2: it's like in between dial up and actual wireless. This
Speaker 2: was like the bridge and down. She came in the
Speaker 2: room to like, hey, can I borrow the Internet? Very
Speaker 2: two thousand and seven question, and I was like, yeah, here,
Speaker 2: you know, but I'm on this big ass computer typing
Speaker 2: and she's my sister's twelve years old and she's twenty five.
Speaker 2: So she's like, what the fuck are you in here?
Speaker 2: What are you working? She could feel it, she saw
Speaker 2: like I was saying like such, and she's like, are
Speaker 2: you I was like, oh no, she tells on me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she has, she has, she's a reporter.
Speaker 2: She's twelve years older. She was twenty five.
Speaker 1: She told on my sister. I'm ten and ten years
Speaker 1: older than the next in line, and I told.
Speaker 2: On them, and my sister's told on me like routine.
Speaker 2: I could do it, especially if I was doing something.
Speaker 2: They would have gotten trumb before. If they were my
Speaker 2: agent did it. They're like, oh, I'm telling on you man.
Speaker 2: So she told me my mom. She didn't tell my dad,
Speaker 2: wish I was thankful for it, but she did tell
Speaker 2: my mom, and my mom made me print it out,
Speaker 2: oh the whole thing, and she read polish, she print controlly.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, thank god, I thought you meant no, no, no.
Speaker 2: She printed the store like all of this, and she
Speaker 2: sat there and read it, and I had to just
Speaker 2: sit there while she read it, and I'm.
Speaker 5: Just like, you know, what's wild. You're not even the
Speaker 5: only person I know that that's happened to. WHOA My
Speaker 5: boy Zach, another comedian, he had that he wrote ship
Speaker 5: and his mom found it. He came home and his
Speaker 5: mom was like, he has a joke about it. But
Speaker 5: he came home and his mom was reading it and
Speaker 5: she was like, my friend Catherine.
Speaker 2: About her friend her friend Catherine.
Speaker 1: He had written his own erotica aboutgers basically, so.
Speaker 3: I think maybe it happens. I never was that creative
Speaker 3: my sister.
Speaker 2: I shouldn't have said her name, no, readact that my sister.
Speaker 1: One time we caught her looking up porn and she
Speaker 1: the way they called her is they looked through the
Speaker 1: Google history, and the Google history like the drop down
Speaker 1: was like it said naked man and then it said
Speaker 1: naked man with no clothes and then it said naked
Speaker 1: man with no clothes.
Speaker 2: On having sex. And it was just listening. She was
Speaker 2: probably it was young. It was last ten eleven. They said,
Speaker 2: you've been on the computer, and I said, I swear
Speaker 2: to god, that's not what I like. When I was eleven,
Speaker 2: c I had more. I was watching I was watching
Speaker 2: the like the cinemac ship, because I always I've always
Speaker 2: been in like a night owl. Everybody else in the
Speaker 2: house to be sleeping. I'm like, I'm up, So what's up?
Speaker 2: What's someone? And I found it like organic. I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: he's a big soft core guy. Yeah. I like softcore
Speaker 2: as well. It was my introduction. That's when they used
Speaker 2: to have like the real sex.
Speaker 1: And I think at this point it's more a nostalgia
Speaker 1: for softcore than it is like a sincere life's not
Speaker 1: in practice. I am not like seeking softcore on a
Speaker 1: regular basis. I am not your the premise.
Speaker 3: I'm not you were like online finding vintage.
Speaker 1: No, and it sucks that you felt that way, because
Speaker 1: this is now maybe the second or third time you've
Speaker 1: repeated it to strangers astract and I'm realizing.
Speaker 5: I thought it was I thought it was like, wait
Speaker 5: that we bought, realized that thing I knew about.
Speaker 2: You and you were proud. Yeah, he's bragging about me
Speaker 2: around here. Heypcore guy. It was class because it is classic,
Speaker 2: because the way porn brain has really ruined the world.
Speaker 2: Everything's porn now, and I do have an appreciation for it.
Speaker 2: I can, I can finish the job with it, but
Speaker 2: it is not what I'm seeking.
Speaker 3: It's not active anymore.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, it's not a Twitter porn kind of
Speaker 2: person because it's just you know, but did you ever
Speaker 2: go on Tumblr porn? Tumble porn used to go crazy
Speaker 2: me and my friends in high school. This has been
Speaker 2: such a horny episode. Y'all gonna juge me. This is
Speaker 2: your first time meeting me. I'm so sweet, you've been
Speaker 2: here before. Yeah, but we weren't talking like, we weren't
Speaker 2: talking about coache The whole got jymn time. But then
Speaker 2: a Tumblr page was just dicks. Yeah and me and
Speaker 2: my friends mind you all for the most part, versions
Speaker 2: we're all just scrolling. Okay, seven, Okay, that's just judging Dick.
Speaker 2: We just scrolled for hours. Dicks on tumbling, tumber used
Speaker 2: to be they tumble was a good way. Never let
Speaker 2: them forget what they took from us.
Speaker 3: No, it was it could get as specific as you
Speaker 3: needed it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, are you getting Let's let's turn this off of me.
Speaker 3: Oh, dark nipples is what I'm thinking of you.
Speaker 2: Dark nipples on dark skin, dark nibbles on light.
Speaker 3: Dark nipples on dark skin, but dark. You just type
Speaker 3: in dark nipples and then it's all dark nipples.
Speaker 2: You get what you get when you're type in dark nipples. Okay,
Speaker 2: So what is about dark nipples?
Speaker 7: Like?
Speaker 2: How dark? You're talking and it only gets so dark?
Speaker 2: How dark do they get?
Speaker 5: How deep is the marianas trend?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 3: How deep is the soul of a criminal?
Speaker 2: How dark? What do the angler fish sleep in? How
Speaker 2: dark is the bottom of night time. Okay, you know what,
Speaker 2: respect You know that's very mean, but I'm not.
Speaker 5: What Tumblr taught me is no, it's not a lot
Speaker 5: of guys and a lot of people in the dark nipples.
Speaker 1: I think that's what made Tumblr beautiful was it was
Speaker 1: it had the instincts of Twitter, right, but where you
Speaker 1: could look up any niche thing, but everybody had to
Speaker 1: have done at least a little bit of curation, community,
Speaker 1: and a little bit of a checks and balances, where like,
Speaker 1: if you say you're into dark nipples, you gotta study
Speaker 1: that ship. You gotta really make a collection and put
Speaker 1: it together, as opposed to just saying something reckless and
Speaker 1: running away anybody.
Speaker 3: It was also where I found out about pillow humping.
Speaker 2: I think I heard about that too, but I never
Speaker 2: understood the concept of a pillow hump. It was like
Speaker 2: for you or for me to watch oh yeah, to
Speaker 2: watch oh I thought you meant as a concept you
Speaker 2: know what? Oh no, I would watch videos of ladies
Speaker 2: doing that because it was not as like it was.
Speaker 5: It felt not as hardcore as watching two people fuck,
Speaker 5: but you could tell she was really enjoying it in
Speaker 5: the spots. Yeah, yeah, Okay, it was a whole community.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's the thing. The girls do be humping pillows
Speaker 2: that it's not.
Speaker 3: Oh, you don't got to tell me.
Speaker 2: I know, you know, you know. They just came back
Speaker 2: from the convention. Pillow con is crazy. That's where that
Speaker 2: my pillow guys at. I just got back and my
Speaker 2: thighs are tired. Try to, like the girls say, we pillows,
Speaker 2: let me try to. I'm like, this is not even
Speaker 2: would do much. I think it depends on your couchie. Though.
Speaker 2: If you don't want that's kind of like convertible, then
Speaker 2: you can get right to it. And I think if
Speaker 2: you got a want in a will, you can make
Speaker 2: love out of anything. Man. That's the truth.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 2: The beauty of it ain't nothing sexual. And I think
Speaker 2: that's a beautiful way for us to send it to break. Man. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it was an emotional truth that that maybe y'all need
Speaker 2: to sit with me a little bit before break, which
Speaker 2: is all right. My mama followed me, bro, really, my
Speaker 2: mama follows me. Mental. My mama told me we're back.
Speaker 7: Oh di, you.
Speaker 2: Bitch, I caught the butt. Nobody supposed to be here. Well, bitch,
Speaker 2: I can't up fuck, and we came to discuss cuchie.
Speaker 2: We did, and then this is just a very educationally
Speaker 2: crucially episode and he were just talking about the lack
Speaker 2: of coochie education. Yeah, black girls, we don't have it.
Speaker 2: And it's everything sex sex, sex, sex, bad, bad, bad, bad,
Speaker 2: back fast fast fast hot in ass hot and ass.
Speaker 2: We're not having the real conversation even just coochie health. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think that just ties into sex said as a whole.
Speaker 2: I wasn't talking to my mom about my couchie. I
Speaker 2: just wasn't right. And it's also it's also crazy because
Speaker 2: it's like if there were generic soaps that were making
Speaker 2: given Dick's rashes or like what they'd have been like, yeah,
Speaker 2: they put it was the soap that was fucking me up.
Speaker 3: They put it on Network TV. If Irish Spring was
Speaker 3: your Dick.
Speaker 2: I'm saying, when you got periods, it would just be bloods,
Speaker 2: trails in the streets, just free pads.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I never shut up about it. I also think
Speaker 5: it's crazy if I had a period, I never watched
Speaker 5: this is again.
Speaker 2: Right now, just imagine I wish I could feel a period,
Speaker 2: just and it's like I don't, I don't know, and
Speaker 2: they evolved as you get older. They changed. Like one
Speaker 2: day on my period, I just started throwing it, Oh,
Speaker 2: throwing up during my period. Popped a blood bests on
Speaker 2: my eye. My eye was sucked up for like a month.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's horrible from period.
Speaker 2: That is it is normal. It is in the spectrum
Speaker 2: of normal. It just is. It's just part of it.
Speaker 2: Girls can't walk.
Speaker 5: I am period sensitive, brush, I am aware of it.
Speaker 5: I want nothing to do with it personally, like I
Speaker 5: don't want to period.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my wife's period like a cowboy recognizing another killer.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Hello, sir husband, Would y'all
Speaker 2: change your wives.
Speaker 3: Tampons if she was like confirmed.
Speaker 2: If she broke both her arms, she can't change her tap.
Speaker 2: Do you know how tampon works. I'll figure it out.
Speaker 2: I've read the little paper in the box. Yeah. It's
Speaker 2: like a push pop push, Yeah, pull out the applicator. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Now, now I would be concerned with roughness.
Speaker 2: Roughness. I just I wouldn't know how he thinks he's
Speaker 2: gonna jab it. I'd be scared.
Speaker 1: I'd be somehow not sensitive enough inside of there, But
Speaker 1: I'd figure it out.
Speaker 2: I guess it's a ringe I hear you of sort. No,
Speaker 2: I've seen it. I single mom, I'm saying, I'm talking
Speaker 2: about the speed insight. Bro think I used to think
Speaker 2: you could pull the cord and it would shoot out.
Speaker 2: And then it's also the issue of leaving a tampon
Speaker 2: in there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, toxic shock syndrome.
Speaker 2: And so the period people used to come to our
Speaker 2: schools always to come to schools and do assemblies and
Speaker 2: explain all those learning Yeah, wait, where were you That's
Speaker 2: what periods It wasn't about. Oh, that wasn't what they
Speaker 2: wanted to hear. They weren't like showing you a diagram
Speaker 2: or nothing.
Speaker 5: And but that sideways diagram is confusing when they cut
Speaker 5: THATCHI in half and then they're.
Speaker 6: Just like.
Speaker 3: Trying to imagine my penis somewhere within this doctum.
Speaker 2: It don't make sense. But they show they give you
Speaker 2: paths to show you how to put them on. They
Speaker 2: tell you about tampon and one of them, hype is Lies,
Speaker 2: said you could flush tampon and you cannot. No, no, no,
Speaker 2: you cannot. That's how you get a shock coming up
Speaker 2: your bowl. That's what that was about. Yeah, they would
Speaker 2: explain was and you know one day and when I
Speaker 2: moved to Atlanta and I was in the Cab County,
Speaker 2: the people came there too. And when that diagram came up,
Speaker 2: when it was like the couchie in the diagram and
Speaker 2: it was just and somewhere, I was like, ugh, and
Speaker 2: you should not be saying this. Children. She was like, hey,
Speaker 2: y'all be laying boys down there. So I don't know
Speaker 2: why you're saying it. Wow, it doesn't look like that
Speaker 2: to any of us. Why are you saying that? That's crazy?
Speaker 2: And I was children at the time. I'm like, what
Speaker 2: you said, that's not right. That's cochies, man, couchies. No,
Speaker 2: we didn't. We didn't actually come here to talk about coochie.
Speaker 2: We didn't. That's the crazy part you. I mean, we
Speaker 2: always kind of did. We always did. But she's always
Speaker 2: on the brother brother we made a.
Speaker 1: Plane and then she's somehow brothers they're so fast. We
Speaker 1: were always going to get there, But man, did you
Speaker 1: you jumped the gun fast?
Speaker 2: I railed the whole episode. We having a great time, though.
Speaker 5: There's a lot of cast episodes that are completely devoted
Speaker 5: to Dick. So I think we can spend forty minutes
Speaker 5: on my Michael.
Speaker 2: She I didn't eve talk about the good things about it.
Speaker 2: She's great. She's a nice girl. I've heard she's very warm,
Speaker 2: fantastic greeter. She she has perks. She's a sweet girl.
Speaker 2: She had to figure it out, she had to catch
Speaker 2: her footing. But once she got her footing, I mean
Speaker 2: that's summer twenty eighteen, twenty nineteen, she was outside. Oh shit,
Speaker 2: she went outside in twenty twenty. She did. Okay, good.
Speaker 2: I think you were married in twenty twenty right now, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I was married by it. Yeah, a lot of us
Speaker 2: who weren't. We did.
Speaker 3: We found out how far we were willing to go.
Speaker 2: It is what pandemic. Unfortunately I didn't get my proper
Speaker 2: like goodbye to the streets because pandemic hit. I live
Speaker 2: with my mom, and I was also a rised myself
Speaker 2: for being asthmatic. So I was like, I genuinely will die.
Speaker 2: So I can't even play like that. And it was
Speaker 2: in Atlanta because it was open. I goes in Atlanta.
Speaker 2: I could have been outside if I wanted to. And
Speaker 2: then and I met my now fiance on Twitter this
Speaker 2: summer twenty twenty oh, so you was with someone else.
Speaker 2: I didn't even have no proper send off. I got
Speaker 2: and had I know that was my husband, I was,
Speaker 2: I had no so I thought it was just some
Speaker 2: boy from Twitter. I just wanted to dick. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: and you like those At the time. I was young, Okay,
Speaker 2: at the time, I was like, oh, cute little boy.
Speaker 2: But them like, hey, one, no, you don't. I'm not
Speaker 2: no bore. I was like, I'll get it's not burd
Speaker 2: maybe a same picture. It's dick. Where can be lit? Yeah,
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh no, I think I actually, yeah,
Speaker 2: this is amazing. I have the right time. And then
Speaker 2: it's like, now show me your heart pit. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: trying to see that heart, trying to see that heart beat.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then now I'm making chicken thighs on a Thursday.
Speaker 2: That's beautiful, that's great. Or you're making chicken thighs mm hmm.
Speaker 2: And I'll be watching my girl stuff on TV. I
Speaker 2: don't know, like we we rotate.
Speaker 3: We were just talking about that.
Speaker 1: We mean, while you're you guys swap back and forth
Speaker 1: with who cooks.
Speaker 5: It's usually whose ever idea it is for that dinner,
Speaker 5: I'll make it. So if it's like if I'm like oh,
Speaker 5: I think we should have chicken thighs and sweet potatoes tonight.
Speaker 2: I'll make it only clean so it doesn't cook clean.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Our thing is like if.
Speaker 1: I cook, he doesn't cooks, and I've opted out of
Speaker 1: the switch, and I just go sign she wouldn't.
Speaker 2: She doesn't ask me to, but if she asked me to,
Speaker 2: I would.
Speaker 3: Laundry is my most hated chore.
Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, it actually doesn't bother me at all. Man,
Speaker 5: I hate it and stresses me the funk out cooking.
Speaker 5: Cooking is like funny, especially if you put on music
Speaker 5: or you throwing.
Speaker 2: R and B. Yeah. Now Summer Walker and I'm mm hmmm.
Speaker 3: He loves to play Contagious.
Speaker 2: Why well, no, that's not a good cooking.
Speaker 3: So that's a good song anytime of the any activity.
Speaker 3: I love that song.
Speaker 2: I remember the summer. That's why I love you. Got mad?
Speaker 2: You know it is is because I was just.
Speaker 5: I was just I was in the car with Alana
Speaker 5: and we were driving and I was like, we were
Speaker 5: coming back from Costco, and I was like, I want
Speaker 5: to hear some Kelly Price, and then I was just
Speaker 5: listening to a friend of mine.
Speaker 2: I was like, she did not get what she deserved.
Speaker 2: Pat phobia, I think so. Yeah. But Friend of Mine
Speaker 2: was a big hit. Yeah yeah, but it was like, actually,
Speaker 2: I can't even talk about it because I wasn't. I
Speaker 2: don't remember that as we slept. Yeah, the Heartbreak Hotel.
Speaker 2: She has some hits Whitney, Yeah, I like, I like that,
Speaker 2: like Heartbreak Hotel. What's the other one? The drugs didn't
Speaker 2: take the game away? No, no, she was. She was
Speaker 2: still doing it. What's the other hit from Heartbreak Hotel? Ara?
Speaker 3: It's the.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yea. Even her last I looked so bad.
Speaker 2: I do think me.
Speaker 1: I think the real real great. They kept they kept
Speaker 1: cooking after the drugs. Michael, No, he ain't really miss
Speaker 1: even with the ending. He was like, Make Invincible is
Speaker 1: a great outright.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? I mean, talent is talent.
Speaker 2: That was like the drugs. I think if you you
Speaker 2: start off off on drugs, depending on like these new
Speaker 2: these new rappers, you own them fifty facts and you
Speaker 2: on that. All that the perks is writing the songs
Speaker 2: you're not.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and that's and that's not a good drug. I
Speaker 5: think there are drugs you want to write songs for you.
Speaker 5: I don't think Perkoset is one of.
Speaker 2: The perky You're not putting percoset in the liner notes,
Speaker 2: but you should.
Speaker 3: I think Alsdca writes you a song.
Speaker 2: LSD probably.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I hate to be that guy.
Speaker 2: I think. I think.
Speaker 3: I think, don't correct get your hit. Crack will get you.
Speaker 2: The thing about crack, And we've been talking about crack
Speaker 2: this week. I don't know if it's just the l
Speaker 2: a up at all, but like I learned because it
Speaker 2: I'm thinking about snowfall. That's why again in nineteen ninety four,
Speaker 2: I wasn't there, yeah, for snow fall.
Speaker 3: Do you think we were?
Speaker 2: I'm just saying for like crack. Oh, Like, I didn't
Speaker 2: really like seeing crack outside, but it had died out
Speaker 2: a little bit by the time I was working still crack,
Speaker 2: but like eighties, it wasn't eighties.
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly when we were no matter when we our age.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you fucking it up. I'm sorry, we're trying to
Speaker 2: act eight seven. Yeah, that she got us. It was
Speaker 2: so funny, you got it exactly. Our birthdays are like
Speaker 2: two weeks of pretty soon, that's cute, that's very next week, yeah,
Speaker 2: two weeks, two weeks. Yeah. Tourist areas yeahs. And he's
Speaker 2: just as Torris as I am.
Speaker 1: Mixed your face. Don't you dare disrespect It's a fine man.
Speaker 2: I don't even know every time that was a toman,
Speaker 2: I need to say, Okay, and you learned something from
Speaker 2: your experiencecause you lost such a good thing. Yep, I
Speaker 2: lost something. Sounds like somebody was in the Heartbreak Hotel.
Speaker 2: That was a good one. I got a friend of
Speaker 2: this villish you know what I'm saying now.
Speaker 1: You you came to us today with the conspiracy theory
Speaker 1: that will probably barely talk about.
Speaker 2: But who gives a fuck? You said? You said? My
Speaker 2: mama told me they've already soft launched the aliens. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so they're kind of like dropping breadcrumbs. What's the white
Speaker 2: man that said something? But then again, it's twenty twenty six.
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's Sue or not, but said
Speaker 2: something about the aliens, like like y'all nicks not even ready? Yeah,
Speaker 2: what was it? Because I've been like just scrolling through
Speaker 2: my phone like I don't know. Yeah, it's just like
Speaker 2: there was an era where.
Speaker 1: Where there were or were people being like we are
Speaker 1: fully admitting that there are a When said it, Obama
Speaker 1: said it, Trump has announced it and opened up documents
Speaker 1: that have objectively prove aliens of some being or some
Speaker 1: some thing exists.
Speaker 2: Yes. Yeah, So my thing is just like okay, so
Speaker 2: now what And it's and they're purposely like overloading us
Speaker 2: with like funck shit all the time, so we don't
Speaker 2: have time to even worry about the aliens because gases
Speaker 2: nine dollars. So it's just like, where are the aliens?
Speaker 2: I would like to see that. And I'm a very
Speaker 2: big sci fi nerd, So I'm like, are you gonna
Speaker 2: give me some aliens? Are you gonna be animate the dinosaurs?
Speaker 2: Give me something? Yeah, because I've been ready for these aliens.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying, like you know, in Independence, they when
Speaker 2: they got on the roof, it's like take me. I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna do that, but I would like to see them.
Speaker 3: My inform it is so amazing it can't even be perceived.
Speaker 2: And I think that's what it is. I think. But
Speaker 2: the same thing. The other thing is I think there's
Speaker 2: several obviously there's way there's billions of other light years
Speaker 2: and shit, And did y'all watched Project Alt Marry? Yes?
Speaker 2: And don't you dare spoil that movie, I mean space.
Speaker 2: I mean there is an alien and if you seen
Speaker 2: the trailer business ail in it, but like it was like,
Speaker 2: we can't even we've made like these humanoid Yeah, I
Speaker 2: figured where we got that from. But the reason that
Speaker 2: they have that even prototype is because of the reports
Speaker 2: from Area fifty one.
Speaker 5: The Gray Boys Grace, yeah yeah, when they're not called
Speaker 5: the Gray Boys Grace, I just added boys.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, and that's cool. You put a vibe on it.
Speaker 2: I'm not at all, but that's been the archetype because
Speaker 2: that's what they saw. It was the first ones to
Speaker 2: come over here, and they got ams legs like us.
Speaker 2: But like like you said, like like on some nope
Speaker 2: ship like the Ailien is not even I.
Speaker 5: Think that is more if you're if you're meant, if
Speaker 5: if your body is adapted to a completely different system,
Speaker 5: why would you even be close. I it'd be crazy
Speaker 5: to think that this is the most efficient body on
Speaker 5: all the planets everywhere everybody.
Speaker 2: Where we have the air and the water and the ship.
Speaker 2: But if you got them on and y'all all those names,
Speaker 2: y'all got fucking elements that we don't even have them.
Speaker 5: Why would you even have feet? Let alone be bipedal.
Speaker 5: Maybe it's better to have ten of them.
Speaker 1: Yes, it wouldn't even make sense over there. You got
Speaker 1: to back for what y'all got double irons?
Speaker 2: Yeah you walk?
Speaker 5: Yeah, eight titties, that's maybe that's not too many for you.
Speaker 2: For you, maybe you can't know that. To visualize eight
Speaker 2: titties like where they would all go, it's not difficult.
Speaker 1: Here's what I would prefer is that they're I like
Speaker 1: two of them on your should. I said, I want them,
Speaker 1: I want them in pairs.
Speaker 3: What have you done for?
Speaker 2: So for me as someone who has like titties for real,
Speaker 2: like not like for like big todays, congratulations on that.
Speaker 2: I just have they came eventually, And I'm just thinking
Speaker 2: of the logistics.
Speaker 5: That's a lot of Brazil Like, I don't think they
Speaker 5: do Bras. If you got a city, well and if
Speaker 5: if their gravity is lighter, you don't have to just yeah,
Speaker 5: titty maintenance. I don't think I understand what having titties,
Speaker 5: but imagine less gravity. They just sit up on their own.
Speaker 5: They're not even way down. But sometimes sometimes see what
Speaker 5: I'm saying, that's not fun though, like underwater.
Speaker 2: I mean, I guess I have balls. So you know
Speaker 2: how it feels to have something like touching you all day? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: that's that says sounds like hell, it's really manageable. It's
Speaker 2: pretty good because my clo are like tight. Yeah.
Speaker 1: We're not really gonna ever complain about what we got
Speaker 1: going on that now because it.
Speaker 2: Doesn't hurt, right never.
Speaker 5: I mean, if somebody hits you in that directly, it's
Speaker 5: been a while since you take the older you get,
Speaker 5: the less nut shots you take.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I'm proud. I'm proud that kids just.
Speaker 3: Like kids dogs, the dog get the dog will get it.
Speaker 2: We've had big talks in my house about not doing that,
Speaker 2: doing that. Yeah, I know you're dad just came home.
Speaker 2: You can hit me a lot of places, don't hit
Speaker 2: me there. So how do you say that? Two or
Speaker 2: three row exactly like I just hit daddy and the bass? Yes, absolutely, Well,
Speaker 2: I don't think you have to say balls. We don't
Speaker 2: call it balls. Penis. Okay, you got good, don't everything?
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't hide from it.
Speaker 1: Y'all got you got a vagina, he got a penis,
Speaker 1: I gotta Yeah, this is a deep cut.
Speaker 2: Look who's talking? M ye.
Speaker 5: Mommy penis with Ted dancing. Yeah, like when he was young,
Speaker 5: his name was Mikey. The little boy's name was Mike dancing.
Speaker 2: Who was he was a voice? You know, Ted dancing dad. No,
Speaker 2: it wasn't Josh Volta.
Speaker 7: Was it?
Speaker 3: What's ted dancing?
Speaker 2: And what's three minute? But Ted dancing? Maybe the real
Speaker 2: baby daddy? I don't know, but maybe it was. Who's
Speaker 2: talking is josholt.
Speaker 3: Yeah he's he's an actual dad. He's got the baby.
Speaker 2: He's like you, I think is the baby man? That was?
Speaker 2: That was a combo that is film. And then like
Speaker 2: look was talking to and then look who's talking now?
Speaker 2: When it was the dogs talking? I don't like that one.
Speaker 2: And Kirsty was the mom she was and that was
Speaker 2: my bitch from that and then she does run her
Speaker 2: legacy and no one even cares she that.
Speaker 1: She's she told maybe the funniest story before she died
Speaker 1: to me, the funniest story.
Speaker 2: It's hate.
Speaker 1: It's purely hateful. It's awful, but it is funny objectively.
Speaker 1: She's telling this story of how her parents died. And
Speaker 1: she explains that her parents dilling on Halloween night and
Speaker 1: they were going to a party. One of them dressed
Speaker 1: like a Klansman. The other one rest like a like
Speaker 1: a slave, and then they died. And then they died
Speaker 1: in a car crash.
Speaker 2: I bet they did. And she's telling it like it's
Speaker 2: a sad story. Yes, I remember that. I remember that,
Speaker 2: and everyone's like, yeah, I bet they did that. They died. Yeah,
Speaker 2: good mom. Do you ever feel, you know, not so fresh?
Speaker 3: Just using that episode so I forgot I had it.
Speaker 3: I'll you guys what happened?
Speaker 2: Yeah. Curtsey is another one my favorites. Dropped dead gorgeous,
Speaker 2: the classic you had to run cheers. She was doing
Speaker 2: it a classic. What are the aliens? Tell? Tell me
Speaker 2: what you think? Uh? The aliens are meant to do?
Speaker 2: I think they're already here. And are you fearful of them? Like?
Speaker 2: What do you think that they're like? Uh, I think
Speaker 2: anything we need to worry about. If they wanted to
Speaker 2: kill us, they would have been did it?
Speaker 3: What if they even meant met any kind of harm?
Speaker 5: Right, It's like goes back accounts from the government, go
Speaker 5: back so far at least you know sixty.
Speaker 2: Like they a crazy nigga quarter shut up crazy nigga. Yeah,
Speaker 2: niggas Like did you see the East Atlanta Alien nigga
Speaker 2: going eighty fives out show. Oh he's great away, so
Speaker 2: fucking funny, we love him. That was so funny. But
Speaker 2: I do believe they really be doing that, Like no
Speaker 2: one's gonna believe you, right, even in independent day like
Speaker 2: the crazy niggas I told you niggas I started alien
Speaker 2: nineteen seventy two, I told y'all.
Speaker 1: And he went up to fight and then that. I
Speaker 1: do think that there's a level of of sort of
Speaker 1: like intentional feeding us information that feels like they know
Speaker 1: a lot more than they're even willing to share. Because
Speaker 1: even with like fucking the space Army that Trump established,
Speaker 1: they claim the whole point is to be fighting against
Speaker 1: other countries in space. It's it's not has nothing to
Speaker 1: do with aliens, which means that y'all know something about
Speaker 1: our safety as it relates.
Speaker 2: To try to go to the Moon so they can
Speaker 2: establish a colony I did and leave us here to that.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, we worried about us and the aliens is yeah,
Speaker 1: Ultimately the point they're like human.
Speaker 2: And anybody call and tell me nothing. I like the moon.
Speaker 2: They're up there, You mean called to invite you to go? No,
Speaker 2: because the look on Gail's face when they went to
Speaker 2: the space a couple of months ago. My yeah, real bad.
Speaker 2: After I was shipp up my back and that was
Speaker 2: anti gravity. Ship just flowing and you can't do another
Speaker 2: way that. You just got to try to catch it.
Speaker 2: I don't want ship. They didn't tell her to use
Speaker 2: the bathroom beforehand. She got off. She needed the duky.
Speaker 5: Bad it it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would have liked to know were going to
Speaker 2: the moon for real, But again they overload us with
Speaker 2: so much fuction that I don't want to read the
Speaker 2: news and I look up it's a black man in space.
Speaker 1: Yeah, finally, But they're not even going up there to
Speaker 1: do alien ship, that's their claim, and so to me
Speaker 1: that means as must be not the threat at all.
Speaker 2: And I think it's just it WI takes so long.
Speaker 2: I think we like, did y'all watch the Dinosaur documentary?
Speaker 2: They're like, but the new ones with Morgan Freeman on on.
Speaker 5: It's called dinosaurs. I don't know why I said that, dinosaurs,
Speaker 5: I think, but.
Speaker 2: It just showed me like we're just such a blip.
Speaker 2: We're really just evolved monkeys in the room talking about cochies. Yeah,
Speaker 2: what a beautiful way to see it. Yeah, we're evolved
Speaker 2: monkeys talking about couchies. Can we keep that as a
Speaker 2: tagline for this show? We're just evolved monkeys, you know,
Speaker 2: and we figured it out. But like we had to
Speaker 2: beat out so many people to even make it here,
Speaker 2: not even versions of us, That's what I'm saying, not
Speaker 2: even ancestrally, but just like evolutionary, like we just we
Speaker 2: really we did this year wei them up right about
Speaker 2: the dinosaurs. I was in there crying about the fucking dinosaurs.
Speaker 2: This sh just happened sixty five million years ago because
Speaker 2: they didn't deserve that. Like they show like obviously like
Speaker 2: an animated dramalization of the media hitting and ship, but
Speaker 2: like even showing like the first dinosaurs, because like, did
Speaker 2: you know that terodactyls are dinosaurs? The birds they're not birds?
Speaker 2: Birds birds are dinosaurs. Yeah, birds are dinostry Terodactyls are
Speaker 2: just flying reptiles. So like alligator ship, So what makes
Speaker 2: a dinosaur dinosaur is them standing with there. It's the
Speaker 2: hip bone and the legs being up under that exactly.
Speaker 2: And but the you know, like a crocodile's arms on
Speaker 2: the side, he is on the side, but dinosaurs are likens, right,
Speaker 2: I'm not explaining that very well. Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Speaker 2: Are they cold blooded? I think it's all cold over
Speaker 2: there because they are still a reptile. Yeah. Yeah, the
Speaker 2: reptiles in their dinosaur but reptiles, but reptus is not dinosaurs. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that makes sense.
Speaker 1: But some of them give live birds and some of
Speaker 1: them lay, so maybe it's a little more complicated.
Speaker 2: So yeah, and that is also saying so we talked
Speaker 2: about that, like, and then they just have to fight
Speaker 2: so many predators they just got every time you're like, okay,
Speaker 2: this is the new dinosaur. Oh yeah, okay, what the fuck?
Speaker 2: It goes out here though? And then when the media came,
Speaker 2: I didn't know this about the fucking media. I'm over
Speaker 2: here and enjoying some and otay's these people died for this.
Speaker 3: Ye, well they were dinosaurs.
Speaker 2: These dinosaurs died for this, and I'm up here swimming
Speaker 2: and ship in the fresh water. They die, you like
Speaker 2: that dinosaur had the sun and the only dinosaurs that
Speaker 2: survived with the little ones that could fit in the caves.
Speaker 2: Because okay, the media hit, they started coming like what
Speaker 2: the fuck is that it hit? The ones that were
Speaker 2: in it's like they said, it was like the three
Speaker 2: hundred Timic bombs.
Speaker 3: The big dogs there, they're out of here.
Speaker 2: They were immediately. But then it like like on Paradise,
Speaker 2: you know how like this want to go out the
Speaker 2: smoke cloud here if if something's coming to the planet,
Speaker 2: I want to be right under that vaporized me. I
Speaker 2: don't want to.
Speaker 1: I don't want me and my family unsuspecting.
Speaker 2: You don't want to deal with the I don't even know.
Speaker 2: I don't want anybody to.
Speaker 5: Have to suffer through sort of like the slow death
Speaker 5: of a plan. And you don't want to scavenge the wasteland, like.
Speaker 2: You don't know.
Speaker 1: I would be, man, I'm not trying to teach my
Speaker 1: babies to eat bugs. Yeah, useless people.
Speaker 2: Absolutely not fucking book Eli out here.
Speaker 3: Yeah now you can't see no, but I know, Karate,
Speaker 3: that's pretty cool.
Speaker 2: The smoke cloud covered the earth eventually, and then they
Speaker 2: got cold and they started slowly dying. Yeah, and they
Speaker 2: just died. So I'm like, these niggas got slow thought
Speaker 2: they all just immediately. That so sad than the media
Speaker 2: tastes in Mexico because it hit in Mexico and that
Speaker 2: we bothered you. I was. I was hurt because I
Speaker 2: beat the snow taste. I was just over there.
Speaker 1: Damn these niggas fun there was Minis was.
Speaker 2: Yeah, now you're getting yourself caredging. Yeah said dinosaurs dinosaur.
Speaker 2: We don't say that enough. We don't know what if
Speaker 2: oh Milanda plane, Yeah, let's go. When you say a
Speaker 2: black girl land before time, I'm listening. But someone but
Speaker 2: what is aliens came and picked up some dinosaurs and
Speaker 2: moved them because they knew what if the media was
Speaker 2: a ship and they had some people come get the dinosaurs.
Speaker 2: Don't want them to have died. This means a little
Speaker 2: are you saying it? What are you saying? I think
Speaker 2: there's what I think. There's no farm in space, you know.
Speaker 2: I don't think they sent the dinosaurs a different town.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying the possibility that what if the aliens
Speaker 2: of the dinosaurs the grandmother is the baby.
Speaker 1: Okay, if this mel is what you need, I think
Speaker 1: that's But.
Speaker 2: You think about sixty five million years ago, twenty millionars
Speaker 2: like Earth is young, so the other planets they've been
Speaker 2: here too. They got their own dinosaur. As far as
Speaker 2: we know, they don't not a literal dynotam, but they
Speaker 2: got their own prehistoric ship. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I think I think what is a bummer about our
Speaker 1: communication about space is it always is framed around like
Speaker 1: ship that looks like us and our timeline and our
Speaker 1: timeline and time don't exist the way. I bet they've
Speaker 1: had some real freaky ship out there.
Speaker 3: Everything is. You got a different suns and moons, you guys.
Speaker 2: Pennywise, Yeah, he's existing all the once. Did y'all watch
Speaker 2: Walcome to Day? It's good? Is not my genre either,
Speaker 2: but I heard it was niggas on there, so I
Speaker 2: was like, okay, fine, I heard they squaring up. Oh
Speaker 2: get I like attack the block for black Hord. Okay
Speaker 2: it was crazy choice Yeah yeah, spoiler alert. At the
Speaker 2: end of the movie, at the end of the season,
Speaker 2: he's like, I'm already fighting you thirty years from now, bitch. Basically,
Speaker 2: he's existing all at once, so the alien's probably been
Speaker 2: here infe That was That was the big you know,
Speaker 2: penny Wise, God damn goddamnu. But even penny Wise, do
Speaker 2: you watch an I don't even know what it is,
Speaker 2: not even a body.
Speaker 3: It was sure about the Irish girls to be honest
Speaker 3: irish girls, dairy girls. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: He penny Wise like he's taking the form of a
Speaker 2: of a clown, but he's like three dots. He's three guys,
Speaker 2: three dots. What are you saying? He's three dots? Okay,
Speaker 2: this is not working. Penny Wise's true form is like
Speaker 2: like three dots, and it just it's like three dots
Speaker 2: going like this.
Speaker 3: Oh oh, and you're saying that's what aliens could be.
Speaker 3: It could be anything.
Speaker 2: I'm not good at fighting dots. So he takes a
Speaker 2: far better dots and men of the clown I've never
Speaker 2: thought of dot Maybe I could beat the ship on it.
Speaker 2: So he's three dots, but he could turn into a clown.
Speaker 2: He can take the phone of anything and then whatever
Speaker 2: scares you. Oh so, what are you afraid of? The clowns? Yeah,
Speaker 2: and that didn't really example, what are you afraid of?
Speaker 2: Weirdly three dots. That's when he really become Yeah, we
Speaker 2: get the premise. Yeah, it can be what I was
Speaker 2: trying because this girl daddy died on a show and
Speaker 2: and and he turned it to her dad in a
Speaker 2: pickle jar and it was crazy as fu.
Speaker 3: Okay, when's you're saying or confusing me so much?
Speaker 1: If you were hoping to watch Welcome to Dairy There's
Speaker 1: never been a better advertisement.
Speaker 2: Dairy girls, dairy girls. Watch that tube about these Irish girls.
Speaker 2: But last point, Yeah, the ocean. Let's go, And that
Speaker 2: is a point. And it's my favorite place. I love
Speaker 2: the ocean so much. The man loves the ocean.
Speaker 1: And your I bet what you're gonna say, or at
Speaker 1: least where you're leading us is the fact that we
Speaker 1: know so.
Speaker 2: Little exactly exactly. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I'm listening. Either two options, uh huh, choose your
Speaker 1: own adventure, you know, I like that in the ocean, okay?
Speaker 1: Or number two, the dinosaurs in the ocean.
Speaker 5: Oh there's dinosaurs down there for you. Wait it could
Speaker 5: be no, I mean listen, there's more ocean than there
Speaker 5: is land. Anything could be going on there.
Speaker 2: It might be dinosaurs.
Speaker 3: That's what this mostly is. I feel like we forget
Speaker 3: that a lot yet.
Speaker 2: Started sucking the dinosaurs.
Speaker 8: Okay, and we're gonna take a break. Morel Mitchell, more, mama,
Speaker 8: mental me, We're back.
Speaker 2: They shoot up the coffee shop, who knows, that's not
Speaker 2: that's not our business. We we ain't say nothing. Have
Speaker 2: you Central Central Birth, that's the name of it. I
Speaker 2: don't watch Friends, very anti watch Friends before. Have you
Speaker 2: been there? They have what? They have it on the
Speaker 2: Warner Brothers lit. Yeah, I don't. I'll walk past it
Speaker 2: and you never, you never went in. It means nothing
Speaker 2: to me. It's just funny that it's there. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: they won't take it down even though it's been like thirty.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like a main part.
Speaker 2: You never.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's in there.
Speaker 2: And I went to the they had the Friends Activation
Speaker 2: like that tour, and then we had one in Atlanta
Speaker 2: and they had all the things my homegirl likes Friends.
Speaker 2: I was like, girl, come, I got free tickets from work.
Speaker 2: But I didn't know anything ship. I mean, they had
Speaker 2: the couch, sofa, stairwell situation. I'm just sitting here like.
Speaker 5: No, I don't like the show at all. But I've
Speaker 5: been into that coffee shop because it's funny to me.
Speaker 2: I've been in like a Seinfeld replica and I was like,
Speaker 2: this is fun. I like this.
Speaker 3: And I was on the I love Lucy said okay,
Speaker 3: and yeah, Jamestown they have like a whole museum that's
Speaker 3: her home.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: If it was something I liked, I'd be excited, but
Speaker 1: if it's not, I'm probably be excited. They had like
Speaker 1: that's so raven.
Speaker 2: Oh and.
Speaker 5: You you you you were that's a raven girl, Like
Speaker 5: if you could go to the den, if I can
Speaker 5: go to the den? The dam was flying man has
Speaker 5: gotta be on Peico. I remember when it has to
Speaker 5: be on the den?
Speaker 2: Was the children? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Uh that the sister sister when they went to college.
Speaker 2: Like, as an adult, I rewatched sister sister and Aisha
Speaker 2: the sister wins. It was good the entire time. When
Speaker 2: Mos went to college, it wasn't as good because.
Speaker 9: Molsa kind of means she's not She's not cool, and
Speaker 9: she wasn't nice. She was always like it was always
Speaker 9: like her playing out her friends or being shitty. Yeah,
Speaker 9: her dad, poor, her dad gave her a Saturday and
Speaker 9: she said, no, I'm gonna do my own thing.
Speaker 2: Bitch. Take the Saturn want cheap money? War torn Jeep
Speaker 2: is what I want? What do you break down on graduation.
Speaker 5: Day talking about by he got this house on the
Speaker 5: office set on a Saturn dealership.
Speaker 2: I think there's an argument that Molaysha is the villain
Speaker 2: of that film.
Speaker 5: Sure, that's for sure. Now the Parkers, they were having
Speaker 5: a good time but making music. Come on, they're both
Speaker 5: going to college. Now it's double trouble.
Speaker 2: It's fun. Their plaguing fake sororities.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a white girl named six no, what was her name?
Speaker 2: Is six? And awesome Stevie And yeah I do. I
Speaker 2: will always have smoked for the writers for making Nikki
Speaker 2: leave mel Jackson at the altar the end professional Ogilvie
Speaker 2: was whack too. Now you've been playing with me for
Speaker 2: four seasons and I and I leave mail Jackson again
Speaker 2: trying to beat the colors allegations. But he up here
Speaker 2: from me. It's like Alan Payne, will Smith Mail Jackson specifically,
Speaker 2: so man walking to a bar, right, those are my kings,
Speaker 2: like those are my my mount rushmore of colorism.
Speaker 3: And you don't hear that one a lot?
Speaker 2: What Allan Payne still he's still hit it for you. Yeah,
Speaker 2: he stok up the little curl business business buff hell. Yeah,
Speaker 2: the New Yate City play. He's doing the play lyric
Speaker 2: his daddy. Yeah, bron, how do.
Speaker 3: You feel about like uh, like I said like a
Speaker 3: like a c before Allan.
Speaker 2: Pain funny, I'm black girl, I'm black Colt. What about
Speaker 2: Cosby Show? He was good on it was good. I'm
Speaker 2: start it. Yeah. Actually I take that Jason lyrics because
Speaker 2: I watched a Cotte show every night on nickd Night,
Speaker 2: and I love the episodes with Eric Alexander, Yeah, my
Speaker 2: cousin Clip and then Charmaine. She really breathed new life
Speaker 2: into what was a dying shit, Like really, okay, we
Speaker 2: need some cute kids. Okay, bring Raving in because we didn't.
Speaker 2: Got too old, she got a period, it's not funny.
Speaker 2: No more, bring a baby in. All the kids not bad?
Speaker 2: No more bringing another dark skin queen.
Speaker 5: It was like the Cosby Show got good when he
Speaker 5: acknowledged hip hop and the intro. Yeah, and then there's
Speaker 5: like a beat behind it.
Speaker 2: Monkeys like saging pants on the ground. That's why nobody
Speaker 2: respects you. You go, Jim, Jim, that was so crazy.
Speaker 2: You talking about pants on the ground. You are He
Speaker 2: wasn't concentrating on that, That wasn't focused on Yeah, she
Speaker 2: was so a lot of myself that you're so good
Speaker 2: on this, We're gonna put you on the spinoff and
Speaker 2: you're gonna keep talking. And I was like, I see
Speaker 2: myself in this. Yes, she was fun. She was a
Speaker 2: brown girl, dumb, light skinned nigga. I mean that's that's
Speaker 2: that's a comedy combination. We're here. That's beautiful. That's what
Speaker 2: we got going on. Look, I agree, that's cool. Man,
Speaker 2: give me to them. Yeah, I'm stupid. We don't have
Speaker 2: a dumb one. It's okay.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, okay, let's do the voicemail. We get voicemails.
Speaker 1: They're fun.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm hello.
Speaker 7: I don't know the first time that I got nervous
Speaker 7: and I didn't really know what to say. So I'm
Speaker 7: back again.
Speaker 9: Uh.
Speaker 7: I have a theory, you know, And first of all,
Speaker 7: I love you guys show. I've been listening for like
Speaker 7: total of seven days and I've probably.
Speaker 2: Watched about much.
Speaker 7: But I have this theory like about urinals, Like why
Speaker 7: can't they just like make them like flushing? Why they
Speaker 7: have to have cameras in front of our dicks? Like
Speaker 7: it's right, I mean I think they're keeping track of us, like,
Speaker 7: you know, like to how does Google know the average
Speaker 7: size of a penis? Like all right, they don't know
Speaker 7: what I look like. I could be a grower, not
Speaker 7: a shower. Like you're just gonna assume everybody has the
Speaker 7: same size, Like, I don't know what's average? What is average?
Speaker 2: Man?
Speaker 6: You know what I'm saying, This is the man I've
Speaker 6: gone to kind of like so doubting. I haven't spent
Speaker 6: so much time in my life thinking about it. But
Speaker 6: you're like, what's up with the cameras in front of
Speaker 6: our desk there? And like another thing like kind of
Speaker 6: like applied to be like a regular like holler, because
Speaker 6: I have plenty of these.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 7: There's the interview process that's like storry like this can
Speaker 7: this be like my first interview?
Speaker 2: Right here? Come on on?
Speaker 7: But anyways, hi baby, show love you guys.
Speaker 2: All right, body, this nigga got schizophrenies. What a lot
Speaker 2: going on? What a ride? There was a lot going on.
Speaker 2: He was like, why they gotta put the cameras there? Brother,
Speaker 2: there are no camera there's cameras. You need to call HR.
Speaker 3: That's not common, that's not most generals have no cameras.
Speaker 2: So is he saying that there is a Dick scanner
Speaker 2: in the urinals? Like I'm thinking incredibles, great example, exactly
Speaker 2: six inches right. It seems to me this young man
Speaker 2: was leaving a young ladies home and she said oh,
Speaker 2: your average. He's saying, who's saying. He's trying to figure
Speaker 2: out how did y'all get these numbers? While I my
Speaker 2: mom said my big.
Speaker 5: Well, that's a complicated thing to unpack. That's why he
Speaker 5: called us. That's why he called I was gonna be
Speaker 5: here today to curate, and we've land meaningful. Yeah, I
Speaker 5: don't disagree with you. The mother park confuses me a little.
Speaker 2: Bit, But I'm just saying, you know, men are like what,
Speaker 2: I have a picnic because mommy shows. That's what I
Speaker 2: was like, you got a big dick son, But you
Speaker 2: know what these boy moms get there, so maybe and
Speaker 2: that's the part I didn't. I was just, yeah, my
Speaker 2: mom hasn't seen mine for a while. Now you're not
Speaker 2: gonna either what you mean? It's just like last team.
Speaker 2: I shouldn't be saying it. That's what my mouth just
Speaker 2: betrayed me. The Lord just that last team, Like, yeah,
Speaker 2: last time I'm gonna see my son's dick is what
Speaker 2: you're the last time I seen my brother's, last time
Speaker 2: I saw the son. It's the Center's joke. Remember you
Speaker 2: said that in the movie. It didn't land because I wouldn't.
Speaker 2: I was supposed to lean into that joke with the
Speaker 2: best day of my life. I shouldn't say it's intestuous
Speaker 2: and I shouldn't made jokes about that because the boy
Speaker 2: moms are weird, and that's what I'm trying to get to,
Speaker 2: I think, because they do. You know, they be doing
Speaker 2: weirdship on TikTok, and I get scared of the boy moms.
Speaker 3: I don't even know about that. I don't even know
Speaker 3: about that.
Speaker 2: They were like using age up their sons to see
Speaker 2: how they would look when they were older type ship.
Speaker 2: There's a brand of.
Speaker 1: Moms who take a weird amount of pride in their
Speaker 1: children being boys. Oh and they are like there is
Speaker 1: almost like intimacy, yeah, between the two of them, but
Speaker 1: it's real.
Speaker 2: The mom is in charge of the editor pool. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and it's a bummer to see them point a camera
Speaker 2: at it and go like, look at me, this is content.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
Speaker 5: I've known people like that though, where somebody's mom was like,
Speaker 5: I don't want to say ed edits in that way,
Speaker 5: but like, and that's why you're on the podcast.
Speaker 2: Congratulate spot.
Speaker 5: Let me know, and we always land back at that's right,
Speaker 5: and that's and this is a Cuchie Forward podcast.
Speaker 2: This is a Coucie Forward.
Speaker 3: I've been doing Obama hands a lot lately. It's really funny.
Speaker 3: I just really like to do it. I like to
Speaker 3: do it to the don't I'm.
Speaker 2: Gonna need you to poop. I love hearing the labs
Speaker 2: from like around. Sometimes you know said, you know, hope
Speaker 2: hopefully I've had a joker too. You went crazy, you
Speaker 2: went crazy. I am worried about our caller. I don't
Speaker 2: want to forget them. Yeah, let's let's yeah, let's say
Speaker 2: I'm a little troubled by the message that we received.
Speaker 2: They're not using Nielsen technology in the urinals to measure.
Speaker 1: As farm as I know they're not if there's cameras
Speaker 1: in there, they're not using it for dick measuring as
Speaker 1: much as the documentation celebration.
Speaker 5: Also, average doesn't matter because you got your dick. You
Speaker 5: ain't gonna have no other dick. That's what you got, brother.
Speaker 2: You can't fix it. It is what it is, man.
Speaker 2: And even though whatever is average or not or whatever, Yo, yeah,
Speaker 2: come on, start eating. But to go to bed hungry
Speaker 2: you skipped dinner. Yeah, yeah, you come because sometimes the
Speaker 2: head is good. The girls I mean the girls be like,
Speaker 2: hold on, yeah, you know it's not good enough for
Speaker 2: you to sixty nine. Hey, let's go. I don't really
Speaker 2: like like, I'm not like a had first. This isn't
Speaker 2: about me. You made it. But that's like, let me
Speaker 2: take my time, take your time to walk wherever you
Speaker 2: need to go. Anyway, I think we did it. We did.
Speaker 2: I think I think.
Speaker 1: Kuchie was coached, Kushie was cooch. I think we learned
Speaker 1: all the answers we needed to learn about Kuchie, and
Speaker 1: we celebrated. We we we challenged ourselves, We admitted some
Speaker 1: beautiful things about our grew grew to that yeah, and
Speaker 1: were planted, planted for the future.
Speaker 2: We don't have a whole koochie tree. By the next
Speaker 2: time you come back the juice David squeezed me, squeeze
Speaker 2: me one. You're going to the kitchen when you squeeze
Speaker 2: me a coci juice farm. I love that. Yeah, coochberry
Speaker 2: farm a child. Oh not very farm. Yeah, so excited
Speaker 2: I thought that was I was talking about not very farm.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's funny. Yeah, not very farm. So
Speaker 2: but now could you tell the people where they can
Speaker 2: find you? What cool ship. You got guys. Oh yes, okay,
Speaker 2: you guys can follow me on Instagram at It's Smell Mitch,
Speaker 2: TikTok at the Baddest Mitch. I am on to be
Speaker 2: uh that gout count of Tangled, to be a Hulu
Speaker 2: be t plus Pete Cock a couple of things. And
Speaker 2: I'm you know, I have a little creditor too, Yeah,
Speaker 2: creditor too. I'm working on KEP on stage of the Airport.
Speaker 2: Previously was on the Hospital, I was on Safe Space.
Speaker 2: I went crazy on Safe Spaces on tub Right now,
Speaker 2: I'm just excited. I'll be on the Netflix as a
Speaker 2: Joke Festival at the Crack Them Up show on that
Speaker 2: Thursday night. I'm super super excited about that. If any
Speaker 2: other shows, hit me up if y'all need some you know,
Speaker 2: I tell jokes for a living. So yeah, I'm just
Speaker 2: really excited about this comedy ship. Man, I'm hungry. You know,
Speaker 2: Nig's not hungry. Yeah, but yees follow me on the
Speaker 2: things and I'll be in a city near you soon.
Speaker 2: I'll be in Richmond, Virginia, and I'll be in Columbus,
Speaker 2: Ohio in July. Linking my bio on Instagram Funny Bones
Speaker 2: that I gotta I gotta get in that funny bone.
Speaker 7: I know.
Speaker 2: Hell yeah, what you got?
Speaker 3: Cool Got Jokes City seven. You can find me in
Speaker 3: the alley fighting three dots.
Speaker 2: Three three dots, Square up? Square up? How you do it?
Speaker 2: I do not know what.
Speaker 3: I'm showing.
Speaker 5: Everything's on Cool Got Jokes seven dot com.
Speaker 2: Biz though, for sure, Viiz.
Speaker 1: You can follow me at Langston Kerman on all social
Speaker 1: media platforms. You can see me at uh at in
Speaker 1: Denver first week of May. I'll be in in Denver
Speaker 1: at the Denver Comedy Underground.
Speaker 2: I mean excited about that.
Speaker 1: And you can send us your own drops, your own conspiracies.
Speaker 1: You can tell us what them three dots represent all
Speaker 1: at my Mama pod at gmail dot com. You can
Speaker 1: give us a call at A four four Little Moms.
Speaker 1: We would love to hear from you. We would love,
Speaker 1: love love for you to subscribe to our Patreon. We
Speaker 1: cooking over there.
Speaker 2: We're going very crazy there. Yeah smart watch watch yeah,
Speaker 2: we take like dirt.
Speaker 5: What we take dirty videos we found on Instagram and
Speaker 5: he hasn't seen mine, I haven't seen his, and then
Speaker 5: we watch them swap them Instagram.
Speaker 1: Get we get there and dirt we should be clear.
Speaker 1: Dirt isn't always sexual. It's sometimes sometimes it is. It's
Speaker 1: perverse of the it is freaks, it is oddityse it
Speaker 1: is it is.
Speaker 2: Sort of the under talking about like novels come like, oh,
Speaker 2: we get we open reads, passages, passes. Yeah, literature. At
Speaker 2: the end of the day, we own. We own a
Speaker 2: full library at this point. Yeah, patre Patreon. I want
Speaker 2: to touch a book. It's like the holy ground when
Speaker 2: you read it, it's great. It's quality material. He's not.
Speaker 2: I believe it's papyrus. That motherfucker th Wow you got
Speaker 2: And most importantly, uh yeah, follow the patriarch. Most importantly,
Speaker 2: I don't know. Bye bitch, why are you five in
Speaker 2: the moon? Something's going on? Let us smell yogic.
Speaker 1: My Mama Told Me it's a production of Will Ferrell's
Speaker 1: Big Money Players Network and I Heeart podcast.
Speaker 3: Created and hosted by Langston k.
Speaker 2: Co hosted by David Boordy.
Speaker 3: Executive produced by Will Ferrell, on Se.
Speaker 2: And Joel Monique, edited and engineered by.
Speaker 5: Justin Koppy, music by Nick Chambers, artwork by Dogon Creey.
Speaker 1: You can now watch episodes of My Mama Told Me
Speaker 1: on YouTube. Follow at my mama told me, and subscribe
Speaker 1: to our channel