1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:10,240 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hartunger. 3 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, a practicing physician and blogger. 4 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: On the side, we are two working parents who love 5 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 1: our careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:37,480 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode two hundred and ninety three, 11 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: which is airing in mid March of twenty twenty three. 12 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 1: Sarah and I are actually sitting here together in Florida. 13 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:46,240 Speaker 1: We are in Fort Lauderdale, enjoying a little many to 14 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:49,160 Speaker 1: retreat here, just a quick one, but we are recording 15 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:54,360 Speaker 1: and enjoying being here together live. So today's episode is 16 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:58,680 Speaker 1: going to be about transitions in its various forms. When 17 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 1: we say about transitions, there's lots of ways to think 18 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,440 Speaker 1: about it. Obviously, there are huge life transitions, which is 19 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,480 Speaker 1: its own can of worms. We're talking more about the 20 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 1: minute transitions, the hour to hour activity to activity transitions 21 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:15,080 Speaker 1: we all go through every day, and many people don't 22 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:18,839 Speaker 1: particularly like transitions. They certainly can take a fair amount 23 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 1: of time. I know that when people have logged their 24 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:24,199 Speaker 1: time for me, many people observe just how much time 25 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:27,880 Speaker 1: is lost in transition. Not lost in translation, but lost 26 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:31,520 Speaker 1: in transition, because we do make many transitions every day 27 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:35,959 Speaker 1: between different types of activities, between locations, different energy states, 28 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,759 Speaker 1: and so forth. But it turns out there's a little 29 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:42,360 Speaker 1: bit of research out there, different studies of people's attention 30 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:46,720 Speaker 1: and things like that, people who plan for transitions manage 31 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,480 Speaker 1: them better. So there we go. Whether you like them 32 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 1: or not, whether you are personality wise able to deal 33 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:55,400 Speaker 1: with them or not, there are ways to be more 34 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 1: efficient about them, and in many cases that is a 35 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 1: better thing to do. So I've been rambling for a 36 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:04,920 Speaker 1: while here, let's transition to Sarah. Well, Hello, Yes, I 37 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,120 Speaker 1: think this is a great topic because, whether we like 38 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,080 Speaker 1: it or not, this is something we all have to 39 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:13,320 Speaker 1: contend with. Some people do seem more naturally gifted at 40 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:17,400 Speaker 1: making quick transitions, and some people tend to mind it 41 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:20,239 Speaker 1: more than others. And I actually, in thinking about this topic, 42 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 1: I think those two may be uncoupled. I think that 43 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 1: probably there's like a four square matrix of people who 44 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 1: mind transitions and interruptions and also people who are able 45 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 1: to do them quickly, because I identify as someone who 46 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 1: is a pretty rapid transitioner. But I don't really like transitions, 47 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:40,240 Speaker 1: especially if they are not of my own doing. So 48 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:44,520 Speaker 1: this is kind of an interesting and interesting framework to 49 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:47,640 Speaker 1: think through. So one example would be, like, if you 50 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 1: are going to go running, then how long would it 51 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,280 Speaker 1: take you to go from the thought that you're going 52 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,960 Speaker 1: to go running to like being out the door. I'm 53 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,920 Speaker 1: pretty quick. My husband, we were with him last night, 54 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 1: I had a lovely dinner altogether, and he's like, yeah, 55 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,080 Speaker 1: he admitted it. It takes some really long time. I 56 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:08,320 Speaker 1: call it his ramping up, like and I don't even 57 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:12,600 Speaker 1: know what happens during ramping up, but like it's not fast, 58 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 1: and he eventually gets out there and he's happy and 59 00:03:14,919 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 1: it's great. I would also say that he minds interruptions, 60 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:21,640 Speaker 1: perhaps slightly less than me. I don't think he's as 61 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 1: zen as some of my colleagues were. Literally, at any moment, 62 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:25,800 Speaker 1: I feel like I can ask them a question and 63 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:28,560 Speaker 1: they do not mind stopping whatever they're doing, or at 64 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,640 Speaker 1: least they certainly don't show it, whereas I kind of 65 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,400 Speaker 1: do mind and I probably do show it a little 66 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 1: bit too. So, you know, we're just everybody is different. 67 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:42,600 Speaker 1: And even though this is trivial in any one given instance, 68 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:45,640 Speaker 1: a lot of these transitions happen so many times throughout 69 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:48,000 Speaker 1: the day that there is an additive quality, and so 70 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 1: our ability to transition, how we feel about transitioning can 71 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:56,120 Speaker 1: can impact us absolutely. Yeah, thinking about that four square matrix. 72 00:03:56,280 --> 00:04:00,240 Speaker 1: Other people who are able to make quick transitions and 73 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:02,640 Speaker 1: don't really mind them are in a very different space 74 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 1: than people who hate them and can't make quick ones. 75 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: I mean, then you just like stock and life throws 76 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:13,880 Speaker 1: all these these transitions at you. Yeah, I don't know. 77 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,760 Speaker 1: I guess I'm probably pretty quick too, and I've people 78 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:19,280 Speaker 1: will observe that when I post my time logs or something, 79 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 1: that I might decide to go for a run in 80 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:23,839 Speaker 1: a forty minute period and then be back on a 81 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,279 Speaker 1: zoom call five minutes later, and people like, don't you 82 00:04:26,279 --> 00:04:29,479 Speaker 1: need to shower out? No, I'm on zoom, I'm not 83 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:33,600 Speaker 1: in the room. They can't sell me smell a vision 84 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:37,120 Speaker 1: because this spelevision does not come into to that. I 85 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:42,200 Speaker 1: certainly don't like being interrupted for things that I have 86 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 1: not brought into my life that you know, people barge 87 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 1: into my office to ask a question or things like that. 88 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:52,359 Speaker 1: I do get a little bit frustrated about that. And 89 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,440 Speaker 1: one of the upsides of self employment and working from 90 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 1: home is there's sort of fewer of those, especially if 91 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:01,040 Speaker 1: most people are out of the house during the day. 92 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:07,719 Speaker 1: But yeah, there's definitely a question of productivity here because 93 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:14,719 Speaker 1: let's say that you wish to write a book and 94 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:19,080 Speaker 1: you also have a job, on a family and things 95 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 1: like that, if you are able to seize let's say 96 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,320 Speaker 1: thirty minutes during the day that you happen to have 97 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:29,680 Speaker 1: to work on that book, and it doesn't bother you 98 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 1: to do that, like you're not holding out for no. 99 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,279 Speaker 1: I can only work on my book if I have 100 00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 1: four hours to do this. The problem being that four 101 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:42,280 Speaker 1: hours is unlikely to just appear in your life if 102 00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:46,120 Speaker 1: you're a busy person, and so then you know you 103 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 1: are able to do more. And I think we've also 104 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 1: observed that some people maybe have an idea that it's 105 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:57,520 Speaker 1: harder to say, combine work and family responsibilities than it 106 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:03,640 Speaker 1: might be because of an inability to transition quickly between things. Yeah, 107 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:09,480 Speaker 1: there's probably some truth to that. I feel like I 108 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 1: don't know. Well, I was starting to think about kids 109 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:14,800 Speaker 1: and transitions and how once you're with kids, transitions tend 110 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:18,799 Speaker 1: to tape much much longer because the kids themselves aren't 111 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:22,479 Speaker 1: necessarily going to be rapid transitioners. But I think there's 112 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:27,120 Speaker 1: also an element of like transition privilege for something where yeah, 113 00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:29,240 Speaker 1: if you know that, like you're only going to have 114 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: that thirty minute window and you could either like fritter 115 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:35,039 Speaker 1: it away or get that little strength training workout in, 116 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 1: then there's probably a little bit of like necessity compressing 117 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:44,600 Speaker 1: transitions to the utmost essence of what they need to 118 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,440 Speaker 1: be so you can get done what you really want 119 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,880 Speaker 1: to get done. Yeah, we've been joking about people who 120 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,600 Speaker 1: could only write that book if they were off in 121 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:53,719 Speaker 1: their garret for a week, two weeks, three months. Who 122 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,160 Speaker 1: knows like what they're able to do because somebody else 123 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 1: is dealing with their lives or you know, if you 124 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,120 Speaker 1: know to be able to take half the weekend to 125 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,440 Speaker 1: go do something, you may not be as concerned about 126 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,800 Speaker 1: fitting it in during the week. Or if you know 127 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:10,360 Speaker 1: that or if you, for instance, feel that it may 128 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:13,520 Speaker 1: be your partner's responsibility to deal with all things kids 129 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,760 Speaker 1: in house related. You may not worry about it taking 130 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 1: you as long to transition in and out of things, 131 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 1: because that's not your problem. Whereas if you feel like 132 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:26,960 Speaker 1: you are asking somebody to say cover for you while 133 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 1: you go for a run, then you might naturally make 134 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:33,800 Speaker 1: yourself faster because it feels like borrowed time. So yes, 135 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:38,520 Speaker 1: I think there is some transition privilege. How yeah, I 136 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,960 Speaker 1: was gonna say, but it's and we're not saying like, oh, 137 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:44,440 Speaker 1: nobody should ever put aside a week and right, because 138 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:47,240 Speaker 1: you have actually, on occasion done little longer retreats. I 139 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,240 Speaker 1: think you've done it to edit some of your works, 140 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:52,000 Speaker 1: and absolutely useful. So this is absolutely not to say 141 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,240 Speaker 1: that those longer times aren't useful. It's just that they 142 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:58,720 Speaker 1: aren't always possible for most of us. Yeah, so, given 143 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:03,400 Speaker 1: that transitions are inevitable, we have to think about, Okay, well, 144 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 1: even if I am not naturally gifted in this area, 145 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 1: what can I do to make it faster? You know? 146 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:16,240 Speaker 1: What can I do to make it smoother? And so 147 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 1: those are some of the things we wanted to talk 148 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:22,600 Speaker 1: about in the rest of this episode. Yeah, let's take 149 00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:27,040 Speaker 1: our transition to an ad break. That was a good segue, right, yes, 150 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 1: and then we will be right back. Well we are 151 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:45,720 Speaker 1: back talking about transitions. Oh my goodness, we transition back 152 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:49,760 Speaker 1: into our episode about transitions. So, as anyone who has 153 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:53,200 Speaker 1: kids know, sometimes transitions can be tough, although we joke 154 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,600 Speaker 1: about this as a if you want them to transition 155 00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 1: into something that they really want to do, they might 156 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,960 Speaker 1: have an easier time. Yes, our household, transition into screen 157 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,839 Speaker 1: time is instantaneous, and in fact there's often a lot 158 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,600 Speaker 1: of anticipation so that they can slide immediately into their 159 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 1: preferred activity the moment that it's allowed. So it's definitely 160 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,679 Speaker 1: going to vary based on what is being transitioned to. 161 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,760 Speaker 1: As far as transitioning out of screen time into something 162 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:22,160 Speaker 1: else that might need to happen is going to be 163 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:28,040 Speaker 1: a harder and slower process with people's enthusiasm changing. But 164 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 1: there's a couple of things you can do for yourself 165 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 1: and for kids, or you know, give warnings about a 166 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:36,880 Speaker 1: specific time. I know that in our household, I try 167 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:40,480 Speaker 1: to tell people a few minutes before, like if they 168 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,560 Speaker 1: are going to have to end what they're doing. Say, okay, 169 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:45,439 Speaker 1: you know, if you're you have to be off the 170 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:49,360 Speaker 1: computer bok on weekends at eleven o'clock and it's ten forty, 171 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 1: I'll go up and say I'm going to bed. You 172 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:52,920 Speaker 1: need to be off at eleven, so the person's at 173 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 1: least thinking about that. Or you know, you're watching a movie, 174 00:09:56,840 --> 00:10:00,520 Speaker 1: but we're going to be leaving for insert activity here 175 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:04,280 Speaker 1: in fifteen minutes. I'm telling you that so that in 176 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 1: ten minutes you can turn it off and go to 177 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:09,080 Speaker 1: the bathroom and get your sacks on or whatever it 178 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,160 Speaker 1: is that you are going to need to do for that. 179 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,240 Speaker 1: And there's routines with it too, right, Yes, I think 180 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:19,400 Speaker 1: kids knowing what to expect, and that can happen by 181 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,920 Speaker 1: a couple of ways. One of those is repetition and 182 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,920 Speaker 1: the beauty of routine and doing something over and over 183 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:25,960 Speaker 1: again will help them learn that. Like after lunch we 184 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:29,160 Speaker 1: play outside, that's our transition, or you know, at the 185 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 1: end of the dinner we bring our plates up and 186 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:34,040 Speaker 1: we take a bath. Like these routines help. And then 187 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,120 Speaker 1: also I think providing kids who are old enough to understand, 188 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,160 Speaker 1: or even young kids at their level, like telling them 189 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,439 Speaker 1: what to expect like like your warnings, but then also 190 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,439 Speaker 1: kind of like, Okay, I'm reviewing in a kind of 191 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,880 Speaker 1: anticipatory way. You know, this weekend, after gymnastics, we're going 192 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:50,840 Speaker 1: to stop of the library and then we're going to 193 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:54,080 Speaker 1: go home. And I think kids really do appreciate either 194 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:57,520 Speaker 1: a visual reminder or you know, going through what's going 195 00:10:57,559 --> 00:11:00,160 Speaker 1: to happen, because I think it alleviates anxiety, can be 196 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,440 Speaker 1: a little bit of like positive energy if they're anticipating 197 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:06,160 Speaker 1: fun things. And I definitely help that. Think that mental 198 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,520 Speaker 1: exercise of them, like hearing what's going to happen, probably 199 00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:12,040 Speaker 1: does something to the neural pathways that actually makes the 200 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,000 Speaker 1: transition a little bit easier because it's almost like they 201 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 1: visualize it. Yeah, and it might help as you're thinking, 202 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 1: you know, in our households and in our own personal 203 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:23,160 Speaker 1: lives too, about how to handle transitions. If you think 204 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:28,400 Speaker 1: about a really good teacher managing a classroom, there's a 205 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:30,520 Speaker 1: certain amount of material they've got to get through in 206 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:33,360 Speaker 1: the course of the year, and you only have so 207 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:37,360 Speaker 1: much instructional time, and so if you're constantly losing time 208 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:41,840 Speaker 1: on transitions, you are just up creak, like you're not 209 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,560 Speaker 1: going to get through all your staff. And so I've 210 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:48,360 Speaker 1: observed a few classrooms where people have even done things 211 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,319 Speaker 1: like have a certain way that papers are handed out 212 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:55,120 Speaker 1: or handed back, because if it's done in a different way, 213 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,320 Speaker 1: it takes a lot longer. And so if it can 214 00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:03,320 Speaker 1: get to everybody in fewer minutes, then you have lessened 215 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 1: that tax on your time or getting to any of 216 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,480 Speaker 1: the specials, like if you could get to music class 217 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,360 Speaker 1: in less time, then you have another minute or two 218 00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:16,480 Speaker 1: of instructional time that it does add up or even 219 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 1: you know, in preschool, do you guys the cleanup song? 220 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,920 Speaker 1: Did you guys have a clean up art? Yes? Okay, 221 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,160 Speaker 1: so you sing up, you know, clean up? Clean up 222 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:28,680 Speaker 1: everybody everywhere? Clean up? Do your share? How does it go? Yes, 223 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:31,320 Speaker 1: clean up? And you're right, that is a transition. It's 224 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,920 Speaker 1: very stereotype. They do it every time. And if you 225 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 1: think about it, like with a number of kids they 226 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:37,280 Speaker 1: have in those classes and how long it takes to 227 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 1: do them. Yeah, it's going to pay up dividends to 228 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:42,960 Speaker 1: have these kids doing things, moving through activities, efficiently, eating 229 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,720 Speaker 1: their snack, efficiently, throwing out their napkin after snack. In fact, 230 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,360 Speaker 1: it would be interesting to know what proportion of the 231 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:52,520 Speaker 1: day little kids spend in transition. In transition, it's got 232 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:55,680 Speaker 1: to be enormous. Yeah, although I mean because they're they're 233 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,360 Speaker 1: trying to streamline it to some degree. I mean, you know, 234 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,720 Speaker 1: the saying, let's all come to the circle of somebody 235 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,040 Speaker 1: who started singing what is the weather? Or the weather? 236 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 1: But they don't fight it every time. I mean, you know, 237 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:11,640 Speaker 1: in your average classroom, most of the type the kids 238 00:13:11,679 --> 00:13:14,520 Speaker 1: are sort of of that age that the classroom is 239 00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:18,199 Speaker 1: age is aimed at. The vast majority of them will 240 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,960 Speaker 1: follow the transition and get to where they're going. It's 241 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,000 Speaker 1: just that that routine has been built. The expectation is 242 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:27,600 Speaker 1: that we get to the rug in an orderly fashion 243 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:31,199 Speaker 1: while this song is going, and we are there by 244 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,040 Speaker 1: the time we are at this part of the song 245 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:36,080 Speaker 1: or something, and they do it. And you know, I 246 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:39,120 Speaker 1: certainly when I think about like getting out the door 247 00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:43,960 Speaker 1: with the kids, trying to have it be very similarly orderly, 248 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,040 Speaker 1: like these are the things we do now we're in 249 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:49,280 Speaker 1: the car. You know that these building you know, that's 250 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:52,280 Speaker 1: that's the kind of thing. Yes, And it's also nice 251 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,960 Speaker 1: like if you have a routine like getting out the door, 252 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:58,600 Speaker 1: which is basically a transition because you're shepherding your children 253 00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:03,320 Speaker 1: from kind of the home environment to their next step. Yeah, 254 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,000 Speaker 1: I think about how like sometimes we have a song 255 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:08,080 Speaker 1: play that like ritualizes things. I have like very specific 256 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:11,360 Speaker 1: time points when I tend to, you know, remind the kids, Okay, 257 00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:14,760 Speaker 1: it's seven twenty three, you need to be doing xyz. 258 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:18,560 Speaker 1: So yeah, thinking through how to streamline that because it 259 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:22,760 Speaker 1: could really I've seen it take much much longer, to 260 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:26,680 Speaker 1: everybody's dismay. Yeah, and part of that is organization, right, 261 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,920 Speaker 1: you want I'm sorry, I'm trying to look through our notes, sorry, 262 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:33,040 Speaker 1: to figure out where is this stuff? Yes, so how 263 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:37,320 Speaker 1: can you make quicker transitions? So you have a little 264 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 1: quote here that thinking that you need all day means 265 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:41,280 Speaker 1: you will never do it. I think it's a quote 266 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:44,400 Speaker 1: of you, oh yes, me okay, but yes that you know, 267 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,800 Speaker 1: make the most of these compressed periods of time. So, 268 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:52,280 Speaker 1: you know a couple of things. First, thinking through perfectionism 269 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:56,880 Speaker 1: is the enemy of getting stuff done. You're not going 270 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:59,800 Speaker 1: to have hours of contiguous time. You're not going to 271 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:03,400 Speaker 1: be in a less hassled place in the future. You 272 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:06,760 Speaker 1: know that, like oh yes, November I'll have time for X, 273 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,880 Speaker 1: Y or Z, like it's not going to happen. Like you, 274 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:11,960 Speaker 1: your life is what it is. So if you want 275 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,160 Speaker 1: to do something, you need to find a place for 276 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:18,680 Speaker 1: it in your life now. And that means that you 277 00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:21,280 Speaker 1: have to be okay with having less periods of time 278 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,920 Speaker 1: you can chunk up a task like it helps to 279 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:28,560 Speaker 1: think through what you are trying to get done, what 280 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,920 Speaker 1: the small steps of that are, so that you can 281 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:33,640 Speaker 1: then assign a smaller step to a time. You're doing 282 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 1: that with your photo books, right, Yes, so I find 283 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:38,480 Speaker 1: the idea of sitting down for hours and doing a 284 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:42,240 Speaker 1: photobook very daunting, but I do not mind kind of 285 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:44,960 Speaker 1: assigning myself one month of photos to go through. It 286 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:47,960 Speaker 1: takes me about honestly, probably even closer to five minutes 287 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:49,520 Speaker 1: than ten minutes. So it's a great use of those 288 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,080 Speaker 1: little dead periods of time. I have a note that 289 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,440 Speaker 1: I want to do it, so that the intention is there, 290 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,760 Speaker 1: and then yeah, and I know that it's like a 291 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,360 Speaker 1: productive piece of a project because there's twelve months in 292 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,360 Speaker 1: a year, and once I'm done with that, it's very 293 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:03,360 Speaker 1: easy to you know, dump them into an album that 294 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,680 Speaker 1: will be auto arranged. The hard part is selecting the photos. 295 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:07,720 Speaker 1: So that's a good example of a task that paint 296 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:09,600 Speaker 1: the butt. I'm never going to have a if I 297 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:11,760 Speaker 1: have three hours clear, that's never going to be what 298 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,920 Speaker 1: I want to do with the cars, and so the 299 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:19,520 Speaker 1: chunking it up is very helpful. Yeah. Absolutely. You can 300 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:22,880 Speaker 1: also prepare, you know, so if you do need to 301 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,000 Speaker 1: get to the gym fast and get back or go 302 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:27,960 Speaker 1: for a run, having those clothes laid out, or at 303 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:31,000 Speaker 1: least having a very specific place where all your exercise 304 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:34,200 Speaker 1: gear always is. You know, your swimsuit and goggles are 305 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,760 Speaker 1: always in the gym bag, for instance. That's something that 306 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,760 Speaker 1: you might because then you could just grab it and 307 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:42,560 Speaker 1: go as opposed to hunting around for it. Having the 308 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:46,320 Speaker 1: work materials for a project readily accessible. Or here's a 309 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:49,160 Speaker 1: fun one, thinking about what you could do in little 310 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:51,440 Speaker 1: bits of downtime during the work day. I know we 311 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:55,080 Speaker 1: had a couple of people working from home who are 312 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:58,880 Speaker 1: trying to find more time for things like instrument practice. 313 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,320 Speaker 1: And if you are working at home you could theoretically 314 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,440 Speaker 1: do it, but if it involves you know, ten different 315 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,960 Speaker 1: steps of going and finding your instrument and getting it 316 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 1: all together, then going to find your music and then 317 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,159 Speaker 1: getting yourself set up in a spot. It's just going 318 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:16,160 Speaker 1: to take more time than might seem worth it. Whereas 319 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:19,600 Speaker 1: if it is there, so you know, if you put 320 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:23,000 Speaker 1: your guitar in your office, then you can pick it 321 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,679 Speaker 1: up and play it when you have a short amount 322 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:29,160 Speaker 1: of time. If your music is right there, you don't 323 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:32,359 Speaker 1: have to go hunting for it. You can seize small 324 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:36,600 Speaker 1: bits of time in a way that you just can't 325 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:38,880 Speaker 1: if it's going to take a lot more time. So 326 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,919 Speaker 1: thinking through how you can be ready for small amounts 327 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,600 Speaker 1: of time so that you can make quicker transitions as helpful. 328 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,080 Speaker 1: And it is true that generally being organized and knowing 329 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,119 Speaker 1: where the things are in your house that you need 330 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:53,680 Speaker 1: is going to shorten your transition time because we do 331 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:56,959 Speaker 1: spend a lot of time searching or compiling. I mean 332 00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:58,720 Speaker 1: I even think about again getting out the door in 333 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:01,959 Speaker 1: the morning, and my current rituals to like throw everything 334 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,040 Speaker 1: that we need to leave the house like at the door. 335 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,000 Speaker 1: But if I had to go search for my kids' 336 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,240 Speaker 1: backpacks and like find my keys in a new spot 337 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:12,480 Speaker 1: every time, whatever, it would take twice as long. Yeah, Coats, backpacks, 338 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,800 Speaker 1: shoes are all in the mudroom, which is where we 339 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:18,000 Speaker 1: leave from. The various car keys are in a little 340 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:21,360 Speaker 1: basket in the mudroom ready to go. Or even when 341 00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:23,160 Speaker 1: I'm going for a run or something in the winter, 342 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:26,919 Speaker 1: obviously you need more gear for outdoor running. But I 343 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,679 Speaker 1: have my headband and my gloves on a shelf in 344 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,320 Speaker 1: the mudroom, so I can just grab those and go, 345 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,480 Speaker 1: and it takes a lot less time to get out 346 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,879 Speaker 1: the door than if I was hunting for them everywhere, 347 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:44,159 Speaker 1: which is something to think about in general with kids 348 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:47,240 Speaker 1: activity bags for instance, can everything stay in one bag? 349 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,560 Speaker 1: Once it's clean, you'll put it back in the bag, 350 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,159 Speaker 1: and the bag is in one place, it can just 351 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:54,960 Speaker 1: be grabbed and go. Or if you have sort of 352 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,280 Speaker 1: a mobile office, like what are the things you need? 353 00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:00,359 Speaker 1: If it's maybe a planner and your lap top and 354 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,159 Speaker 1: your phone, those are the things that need to go 355 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,880 Speaker 1: in your bag to go, but you have that very 356 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:06,720 Speaker 1: clear where those are and how those can get in 357 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,879 Speaker 1: the bag and get out the door quickly. Badging a 358 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:15,560 Speaker 1: secret in the Tranquility by Tuesday rules is something that 359 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:19,240 Speaker 1: can actually help to eliminate like unnecessary transitions. Yeah, there's 360 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:22,560 Speaker 1: because we're talking about that, there's this distinction between transitions 361 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:26,119 Speaker 1: that you need to do between different activities. So you 362 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:27,880 Speaker 1: want to go for a run, you have a little 363 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,919 Speaker 1: bit of time, you can do it. Get back on 364 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,560 Speaker 1: with your life. You have a little bit of time 365 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,480 Speaker 1: to work on a long term project. You can get 366 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:37,240 Speaker 1: yourself into it, get out, go do something else. People 367 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:41,160 Speaker 1: wind up making many transitions during the day for reasons 368 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:46,040 Speaker 1: that are not necessarily all that great. That you've just 369 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:49,280 Speaker 1: chosen to check email when you didn't need to, or 370 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:53,400 Speaker 1: you have looked at your phone to answer a quick text, 371 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:57,480 Speaker 1: or you have decided to pop up from something that 372 00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,760 Speaker 1: you were doing and go do some something else because 373 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:05,240 Speaker 1: it occurred to you, and that can wind up distracting 374 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:08,119 Speaker 1: you a lot from what you intended to do. It's funny. 375 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:11,119 Speaker 1: I've been working on a novel and one of the 376 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:12,960 Speaker 1: things that has been really helpful, I think I mentioned 377 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:16,280 Speaker 1: this in a previous thing, but the zoom hours. So 378 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:20,480 Speaker 1: I meet up with a group of other writers and 379 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,680 Speaker 1: we all have our screens on, we have our sound off, 380 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,000 Speaker 1: but it just is an awareness of, oh, this is 381 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:27,959 Speaker 1: the time, these are the two hours I want to 382 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,040 Speaker 1: devote to this novel, and so I'm less likely to 383 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:35,199 Speaker 1: get up and go move the laundry or go, you know, 384 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:37,919 Speaker 1: deal with something else during that time, because I want to. 385 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,600 Speaker 1: If I'm constantly popping in and out of the screen, 386 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,640 Speaker 1: it's like, well what are you doing? Nobody's going to ask, 387 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:47,440 Speaker 1: but it does feel like there is that accountability there now. 388 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:49,520 Speaker 1: Obviously those things need to get done. So this brings 389 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,679 Speaker 1: us to tranquility. By Tuesday rule number eight, batch the 390 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:57,560 Speaker 1: little things, So keep a list of all these things 391 00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,920 Speaker 1: that might cause transitions if you tried to do that 392 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:04,560 Speaker 1: in the moment, but don't if you batch them all together. 393 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:09,800 Speaker 1: And there's a common productivity rule out there, it's called 394 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,720 Speaker 1: a two minute rule, which is the idea is if 395 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,600 Speaker 1: something is going to take less than two minutes, you 396 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,040 Speaker 1: should just do it when you think about it, as 397 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:19,679 Speaker 1: opposed to putting it off for some later time. And 398 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,960 Speaker 1: on some level it makes sense even thinking about transitions, 399 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:24,840 Speaker 1: because it's like once that thought is in your brain, 400 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:26,959 Speaker 1: you're going to have to get it back into your 401 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,560 Speaker 1: brain another time. So that's adding another transition if you 402 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:33,760 Speaker 1: don't do it now. But the problem is you might 403 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:37,439 Speaker 1: not know that it's a two minute a task, like 404 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,119 Speaker 1: you might think it's a two minute task, but actually 405 00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:42,560 Speaker 1: it's a ten minute task, and that's problematic. It may 406 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 1: start out as a two minute task like oh, I 407 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:48,280 Speaker 1: just need to email my colleague those figures like I 408 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:51,560 Speaker 1: need to send for that attachment. But once you go 409 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,840 Speaker 1: to your inbox to send your colleague that attachment, you 410 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:58,000 Speaker 1: are in your inbox and there are other messages there 411 00:21:58,040 --> 00:21:59,679 Speaker 1: that you haven't read, and so you're like, oh well, 412 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:01,560 Speaker 1: let me look at those. And next thing, you know, 413 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,840 Speaker 1: you're two minute tasks has you know, consume twenty plus minutes. 414 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:09,800 Speaker 1: So it's really been a huge thing. And sometimes it's 415 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:13,280 Speaker 1: that you're struggling with something that's complicated or difficult, and 416 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:18,440 Speaker 1: you've allowed yourself to be distracted to get away from this. Yeah, 417 00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,600 Speaker 1: escape distraction, the escape distraction, and it looks like you're 418 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:23,840 Speaker 1: being productive, like oh I have to answer this email, 419 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:26,480 Speaker 1: but in fact you really didn't all the time. And 420 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:28,639 Speaker 1: you know, so you have taken yourself away from the 421 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,880 Speaker 1: big thing. So make a list, do it all at 422 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:33,800 Speaker 1: one time. I try to do a lot of these 423 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:36,080 Speaker 1: things on Fridays. I know many people can't wait that 424 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:39,800 Speaker 1: long for many sort of batch type tasks. But let's 425 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,760 Speaker 1: say that you decide to mostly devote your morning to 426 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:46,320 Speaker 1: kind of more focused work, and then you could take 427 00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:50,600 Speaker 1: say forty five minutes after lunch to quickly bang through 428 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,800 Speaker 1: all those things that would have taken you away from 429 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,640 Speaker 1: that work that you can just get them done in sequence, 430 00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,640 Speaker 1: and so that's minimized the number of transitions. Yes, because 431 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,720 Speaker 1: when you're doing a bunch of tiny things all at once, 432 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:03,920 Speaker 1: it feels more just like an hour of tiny things 433 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,160 Speaker 1: rather than a whole I mean, yes, you are probably 434 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,679 Speaker 1: transitioning from one task to another, but that's so true. 435 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,360 Speaker 1: Plus that mental shift of like if I know I'm 436 00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:13,600 Speaker 1: going to be doing it on Friday at three, then 437 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,600 Speaker 1: I'm not doing it right now. So yes, I love that, 438 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,360 Speaker 1: And I also agree that the two minute rule can 439 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:22,520 Speaker 1: be helpful. Like I think my thought is like, if 440 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:24,679 Speaker 1: someone's already going through their inbox, like they're already in 441 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:27,359 Speaker 1: that processing mindset, and they come across something that's two minutes, 442 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,800 Speaker 1: like that might be fine. But in general I totally 443 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,919 Speaker 1: agree with you that, like, first of all, how do 444 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:33,920 Speaker 1: you know what's going to take two minutes? And second 445 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:37,760 Speaker 1: of all, it's rarely worth stopping something else that you're doing. 446 00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,000 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not going to stop in the middle 447 00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:41,080 Speaker 1: of a run and do something that takes two minutes. 448 00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:43,160 Speaker 1: But I probably shouldn't stop in the middle of writing 449 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:47,680 Speaker 1: a patient note either, So yeah. Anyway, So this brings 450 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:50,959 Speaker 1: us to the idea of planning, though it's fair specialty, 451 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:55,760 Speaker 1: so because transitions and planning are very closely lit. I mean, 452 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,560 Speaker 1: I don't know if it's obvious, but they are, yes, 453 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,119 Speaker 1: because it makes sense that you have to have an 454 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:04,040 Speaker 1: understanding of how long these transitions take and where and 455 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,720 Speaker 1: where they fit into your day. And planning is a 456 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:09,520 Speaker 1: really big piece of knowing what you might want to 457 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,479 Speaker 1: do with smaller bits of time, rather than trying to 458 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,600 Speaker 1: reinvent the wheel every time you end up with twenty 459 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:18,000 Speaker 1: minutes where you could do something. My personal habit is 460 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,680 Speaker 1: to have like a little daily habit tractor tracker on 461 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:23,280 Speaker 1: my daily planner that I use on paper. You guys 462 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,560 Speaker 1: know that if your best life plans listeners as well. 463 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,959 Speaker 1: And this is like a little cue to me that like, 464 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:30,600 Speaker 1: when I do have a bit of time, I can 465 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:32,560 Speaker 1: look to see if I've checked off all those boxes. 466 00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:35,200 Speaker 1: And often things that fit into transitions for me are 467 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:38,439 Speaker 1: like my duo lingo. That's a great transition activity. Because 468 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:43,119 Speaker 1: do it in like five minutes, or like meditation, like 469 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,760 Speaker 1: doing a little headspace if you need some mental cool 470 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:48,760 Speaker 1: down time between activities. The other things on my little 471 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:52,080 Speaker 1: habit tracker, just in case you're curious, are going outside, reading, 472 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:54,520 Speaker 1: and listening to some kind of music. So all of 473 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,639 Speaker 1: those are things that can be done pretty quickly, are 474 00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,760 Speaker 1: pretty flexible with respect to how much time you have. 475 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,119 Speaker 1: So you may want to come up with yourself a 476 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:04,359 Speaker 1: menu of things that you are interested in doing, and 477 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,040 Speaker 1: come up with some kind of visual reminders so you 478 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:07,919 Speaker 1: can think about how you might use those kind of 479 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:12,960 Speaker 1: like little awkward bits well, and even just planning what 480 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,320 Speaker 1: you need to do over the course of a week. 481 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:18,480 Speaker 1: You know, if you do your Friday planning rule number 482 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:22,000 Speaker 1: two plan on Fridays, you know what needs to get done, 483 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:26,919 Speaker 1: and so when you are thinking through the steps to that, 484 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,840 Speaker 1: you can then assign yourself steps for a day and 485 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,480 Speaker 1: you might be more motivated to get through them when 486 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,639 Speaker 1: you do have time, being like this is a step 487 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:38,359 Speaker 1: toward something I have identified as important over the course 488 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,840 Speaker 1: of the week. I think the key thing though, with 489 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:46,960 Speaker 1: all of this is to understand that transitions are inevitable 490 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:50,879 Speaker 1: and you have to be realistic and schedule some time 491 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,080 Speaker 1: for them, and I really fun. This kind of goes 492 00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,920 Speaker 1: both ways, right you people get caught in various traps 493 00:25:56,000 --> 00:26:00,120 Speaker 1: on this. You know, if you think transitions have to 494 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:03,479 Speaker 1: take a really long long time, that might keep you 495 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,919 Speaker 1: from ever starting things, and that would be a problem. 496 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:10,119 Speaker 1: On the other hand, if you don't build in time 497 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:14,240 Speaker 1: for transitions, that is a pretty common culprit. And people 498 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:19,080 Speaker 1: who are chronically late is that they haven't realized that 499 00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,199 Speaker 1: the time when you are putting on your shoes and 500 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,600 Speaker 1: the time that you're backing your car out of the driveway, 501 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,800 Speaker 1: that space between those two is not zero. And if 502 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,639 Speaker 1: you think it's zero, that's why you are five to 503 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:34,160 Speaker 1: ten minutes late everywhere. Whereas if you acknowledge that, okay, 504 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:37,600 Speaker 1: it's takes some time to put on shoes, put on 505 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:41,560 Speaker 1: my coat, grab my handbag, get the keys, get the kids, 506 00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:43,960 Speaker 1: make sure they have their shoes on, get out the door, 507 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,480 Speaker 1: get everyone strapped in if you have car seats or 508 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:50,640 Speaker 1: arranged in the vehicle, or however you are getting out 509 00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:54,600 Speaker 1: the door. You know, all this takes some non zero 510 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,960 Speaker 1: amount of time, and yet it's a transition. People don't 511 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,640 Speaker 1: necessarily think about the number of people are like, Okay, 512 00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,760 Speaker 1: well takes fifteen minutes to get to this place, so 513 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:04,320 Speaker 1: if we have to be there at ten, we'll leave 514 00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:07,240 Speaker 1: at ninety five. Ninety five they're putting on shooes. Then 515 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,560 Speaker 1: you're late. You're five to ten minutes late. You have 516 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:13,840 Speaker 1: to build that transition time in. I think some people 517 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:20,320 Speaker 1: are much better at doing that naturally than others, so 518 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,720 Speaker 1: we probably both do that. I assume that we think 519 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:27,480 Speaker 1: about the constituent steps in any process and how long 520 00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:31,240 Speaker 1: each of those steps takes. Sometimes I build in a 521 00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:35,560 Speaker 1: buffer and wind up comically early to things. Less of 522 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,880 Speaker 1: that now I think in life than I once did, 523 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:43,639 Speaker 1: but it does exist. The time is not zero. But 524 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,760 Speaker 1: the good news is once you have an awareness of this, 525 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:51,800 Speaker 1: if you do, in fact know how long the transitions 526 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:56,119 Speaker 1: in your life take, then you can construct a schedule 527 00:27:56,280 --> 00:28:00,760 Speaker 1: that reasonably accounts for them and allows you to sort 528 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:05,480 Speaker 1: of take a rational perspective on what is possible and 529 00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:08,199 Speaker 1: what you can get done in the course of the 530 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:12,320 Speaker 1: day even with those transitions, and you might be surprised 531 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,199 Speaker 1: one way or the other. You might be forced to 532 00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:18,200 Speaker 1: reckon with the reality that you can't do twenty six 533 00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,600 Speaker 1: hours of activities in a twenty four hour day. That's 534 00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:23,720 Speaker 1: not a matter of your motivation or will powered physics. 535 00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:28,280 Speaker 1: But you might also be able to say that, oh well, 536 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:32,480 Speaker 1: if I do have an hour between calls, I could, 537 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:36,480 Speaker 1: you know, if I have my workout gear handy, do 538 00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:40,480 Speaker 1: a strength workout, or go for a walk or call 539 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:42,880 Speaker 1: a friend with that time. And you know, even if 540 00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:44,640 Speaker 1: I'm telling her like I just wanted to check in 541 00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:47,080 Speaker 1: with you for a little bit, so you know, it's 542 00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,320 Speaker 1: not endless. You could do those things in that amount 543 00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,720 Speaker 1: of time. Yeah, I love it both sides of the 544 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:55,719 Speaker 1: transition coin. So life transitions. We were trying to come 545 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,440 Speaker 1: up with some life transitions and we had trouble. Although 546 00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:01,520 Speaker 1: I could to talk a little bit about my current 547 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:05,600 Speaker 1: career transition, well, I would say yeah, because when we're like, oh, 548 00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,640 Speaker 1: let's do an episode on transitions, like okay, well we'll 549 00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:09,760 Speaker 1: talk about it as a personality framework, we're talking about 550 00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,000 Speaker 1: ways to make quicker transitions, and like, and let's talk 551 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,360 Speaker 1: about life transitions, and like, well, I don't really have 552 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:16,440 Speaker 1: any big life transitions. I'm kind of doing the exact 553 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:19,760 Speaker 1: same thing I was for a while. Nothing's really changed 554 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,800 Speaker 1: that much. But Sarah has made a big change in 555 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,040 Speaker 1: her life about four or five months ago now, right, 556 00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:28,320 Speaker 1: So I want to hear first how that's going, and 557 00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:31,680 Speaker 1: then I want to hear more about bil p love well. 558 00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:35,160 Speaker 1: I mean, that's part of it, right. So I went 559 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:38,440 Speaker 1: to part time officially at my clinical role on October 560 00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:41,320 Speaker 1: the first of twenty twenty two. There have been many 561 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:43,680 Speaker 1: months of kind of preparation for that, but since I 562 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:46,320 Speaker 1: was still doing my other leadership role, like I really 563 00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:49,920 Speaker 1: couldn't do anything official until that point. My schedule became 564 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:53,840 Speaker 1: three days of clinical and two days of not working 565 00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,200 Speaker 1: for the institution where I work for. At least that's 566 00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:57,880 Speaker 1: how we have it set up. It's a little bit 567 00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:01,560 Speaker 1: different when on call, et cetera, and and I have 568 00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:06,479 Speaker 1: pretty much filled those days very rapidly. I think initially 569 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:09,520 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I'm just gonna, you know, find 570 00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:12,600 Speaker 1: myself and figure out what I want to do. But 571 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:15,600 Speaker 1: turns out I want to do a lot. Turns out 572 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:18,440 Speaker 1: I like creating things. Turns out I think I had 573 00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:23,200 Speaker 1: a lot of pent up creational creational that's not a word, 574 00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:26,920 Speaker 1: but whatever creative energy, yes, that I needed to release 575 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,840 Speaker 1: or wanted to release. So I quickly thought about creating 576 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:34,160 Speaker 1: Best Like Plans Academy and gave myself a fairly tight 577 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:36,600 Speaker 1: timeline to come up with all the materials and launch. 578 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:39,840 Speaker 1: That ended up working out really really well. It turns out, 579 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:44,640 Speaker 1: you know, for myself, I'm very motivated by like having 580 00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:46,960 Speaker 1: someone i'm working with where I need to have certain deadlines. 581 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,480 Speaker 1: So I ended up hiring a designer, which really really 582 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:51,400 Speaker 1: helped me get my stuff together because I needed to 583 00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:54,520 Speaker 1: get it to her, you know. And then I also launched, 584 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:57,480 Speaker 1: so I basically told people I'm going to be doing 585 00:30:57,520 --> 00:31:01,160 Speaker 1: this course series and it's going to start in January 586 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:03,040 Speaker 1: and so you know, sign up now. And this was 587 00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,800 Speaker 1: like in November, and so that was Round one of 588 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:07,800 Speaker 1: what I called Besley Plans Academy, and it's taken up 589 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:09,520 Speaker 1: a lot of time. In addition, of course to lots 590 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:12,680 Speaker 1: of podcast stuff and blog stuff, et cetera. I did 591 00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:15,800 Speaker 1: Round two for the spring, which is already full and 592 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,360 Speaker 1: it's going to start in late March and go towards May. 593 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:22,400 Speaker 1: And then, because apparently I just didn't feel like that 594 00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,440 Speaker 1: was enough work, I decided that I wanted to do 595 00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:28,960 Speaker 1: a live version just because I kind of have Bet 596 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:32,200 Speaker 1: Laureno's like I've kind of nudged her. I've been interested 597 00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:34,560 Speaker 1: in the idea of doing some kind of live retreat 598 00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:37,440 Speaker 1: for a long time just because I feel like, oh 599 00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:39,800 Speaker 1: my gosh, we can like meet people face to face 600 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:42,040 Speaker 1: and talk to them, and how valuable will that be. 601 00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:44,640 Speaker 1: Plus I just feel like, as someone who's kind of 602 00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:47,240 Speaker 1: shocked for retreats like that for myself before, there's not 603 00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:50,840 Speaker 1: that many options. There's like some, you know, retreats centered 604 00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:55,400 Speaker 1: around running. There's some like extremely pricey like physician coaching 605 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,400 Speaker 1: type retreats. There are some out there, but there's there's 606 00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:01,160 Speaker 1: not a ton. And I loved doing like planning retreats 607 00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,000 Speaker 1: with my husband, and I thought, you know what I 608 00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:05,680 Speaker 1: want to do like a live planning retreat with people 609 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,160 Speaker 1: who love to plan and people who want to spend 610 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:12,360 Speaker 1: some time relaxing, thinking through things really methodically about what 611 00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:14,680 Speaker 1: they want to do for the coming year, really kind 612 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:18,200 Speaker 1: of dreaming big and with a sprinkling of kind of 613 00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:20,800 Speaker 1: reinforcing some of the planning techniques that I love to 614 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:24,120 Speaker 1: teach about. So yeah, Best Laid Plans Live is going 615 00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:26,720 Speaker 1: to be November second through the fourth and Ford Lauderdale. 616 00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,520 Speaker 1: We are actually there right now in the hotel where 617 00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:31,960 Speaker 1: I think it's going to be. This is not finalized yet, 618 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,800 Speaker 1: but if you are interested in this, and I did 619 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:40,000 Speaker 1: not mean to turn this into a solicitation necessarily, although 620 00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:42,200 Speaker 1: I think that a lot of best of Both Worlds 621 00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:45,800 Speaker 1: listeners would find this really fun. You can go to 622 00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:49,000 Speaker 1: the shoebox dot com slash BLPA or just go to 623 00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:50,880 Speaker 1: the BLPA tab at the top of my page and 624 00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,200 Speaker 1: you can find out information about how you could register 625 00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:56,360 Speaker 1: and join me and maybe and maybe me. Yeah, no, 626 00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:57,920 Speaker 1: I want to go. I totally want to go. I 627 00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:00,240 Speaker 1: want to I want to plan my twenty twenty four 628 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:02,400 Speaker 1: because if it's in November, we'll be thinking about the 629 00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:05,720 Speaker 1: upcoming year, right, so it can have your full marching 630 00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:09,280 Speaker 1: orders for twenty twenty four to make it the best 631 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:12,080 Speaker 1: year ever. I think that's going to be really cool. 632 00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:15,120 Speaker 1: But yeah, I was laughing about your transitions. You you know, 633 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:19,480 Speaker 1: immediately transitioned into lots and lots of stuff. She was 634 00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:21,480 Speaker 1: going to find herself, and she found herself in the 635 00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:25,360 Speaker 1: first three minutes, so that was yeah. I think I 636 00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:27,320 Speaker 1: just I think I knew in the back of my 637 00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:29,320 Speaker 1: head I wanted to do a lot more than I 638 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:32,520 Speaker 1: was doing just kind of like, you know, this, this 639 00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:34,800 Speaker 1: work and these thought processes that have taken many many 640 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:36,880 Speaker 1: years to grow, I'm like, I need to share them. 641 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:38,640 Speaker 1: And then I finally had this space to do so, 642 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:40,920 Speaker 1: so we grew very quickly. I am not planning on 643 00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:44,760 Speaker 1: making any further transitions, so this is at least for 644 00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:46,720 Speaker 1: you know, a long long time. So this is kind 645 00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:49,720 Speaker 1: of I'm going to grow into this I don't know, 646 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:53,160 Speaker 1: breakdown of my life. I love it. I love it well. 647 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:58,560 Speaker 1: It brings us to the question section of this is okay, 648 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:03,440 Speaker 1: So this question it comes from a listener who is 649 00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:07,800 Speaker 1: also talking about transitions. That was a nice juxtaposition here, Sarah. 650 00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:11,680 Speaker 1: Sarah always finds some questions and this one actually really 651 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:13,920 Speaker 1: deals with it very well in terms of kid transitions. 652 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:18,840 Speaker 1: So this listener has a child in daycare. They started 653 00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:22,400 Speaker 1: daycare when the kid was a toddler, so she was 654 00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:25,000 Speaker 1: home for about the first year, mostly doing just a 655 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:28,799 Speaker 1: little freelance consulting on the side. Then decided that she 656 00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:31,520 Speaker 1: wanted to go back to work, so put her child 657 00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:34,440 Speaker 1: in daycare when she was a toddler. So that you know, 658 00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,040 Speaker 1: it's for people who've been in it since they were 659 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:40,280 Speaker 1: more of the infant age, it's somewhat less of a transition, 660 00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:43,960 Speaker 1: but obviously toddlers have a little bit more challenge with 661 00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:46,920 Speaker 1: transitions people who have been through that age. So anyway, 662 00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:49,480 Speaker 1: she says, how do you deal with the transition of 663 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,480 Speaker 1: dropping the kid off at daycare when the child is sad? 664 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:56,600 Speaker 1: So that, as many people have experienced, there's some separation 665 00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:59,440 Speaker 1: anxiety at that age, and her her daughter is crying 666 00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:01,640 Speaker 1: when she drops her off, and so it makes her 667 00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:05,200 Speaker 1: very upset. She doesn't think that staying home is the 668 00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:08,880 Speaker 1: right thing for either of this then long term, but 669 00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:12,760 Speaker 1: she does feel guilty when her child is crying when 670 00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:17,120 Speaker 1: she leaves, so how should she deal with that? So 671 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:20,120 Speaker 1: when I read this question, I immediately thought of doctor Becky, 672 00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:24,359 Speaker 1: who does the work at Good Inside. And I'm not 673 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,680 Speaker 1: like a member of her community officially, but I followed 674 00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:28,200 Speaker 1: a lot of what she said and her podcast has 675 00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:31,360 Speaker 1: some useful tips, and this is something that I feel 676 00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:32,840 Speaker 1: like I can hear her voice in the back of 677 00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,359 Speaker 1: my head of how she would handle this, and it's 678 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:38,360 Speaker 1: very similar to how I've handled it, which is validating 679 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:42,400 Speaker 1: the feelings and also you know, not allowing it to 680 00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:45,120 Speaker 1: derail what you need to do so, saying something like, 681 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,600 Speaker 1: I see you're sad, and I get it. You want 682 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:50,720 Speaker 1: to be with me, and I love you so much, 683 00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:53,200 Speaker 1: and it's still important that mommy go to work, and 684 00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:54,879 Speaker 1: when I come pick you up, it'll be so great 685 00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:56,839 Speaker 1: to hear all about your day. So you're acknowledging them, 686 00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:59,359 Speaker 1: you're validating them. They are allowed to be mad, and 687 00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:01,040 Speaker 1: you are going to work because you have to go 688 00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:03,399 Speaker 1: to work, and this is the way that it's going 689 00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:05,759 Speaker 1: to allow you to do that. And I also will 690 00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,600 Speaker 1: say from personal experience that you know, I've had some 691 00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:12,040 Speaker 1: kids be less thrilled about going to various places, but 692 00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:14,959 Speaker 1: usually I think with the firm and kind of keeping 693 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:18,080 Speaker 1: things as brief as possible. Unless there's something terribly unpleasant 694 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:21,080 Speaker 1: about the environment, usually there's like an extinction that happens, 695 00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:23,520 Speaker 1: like eventually they just get used to it. Or even 696 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,120 Speaker 1: if there is a little sad period in the beginning, 697 00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:28,759 Speaker 1: you can get reassurance from the teacher that, like they'll 698 00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:31,160 Speaker 1: send you a picture twenty minutes in that they're happily 699 00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:34,600 Speaker 1: fingerpainting or doing whatever with friends, because school is fun 700 00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,080 Speaker 1: for most of these kids. If they're miserable in the 701 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:39,319 Speaker 1: place where they're going then it. You know. Of course, 702 00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:41,000 Speaker 1: there might be times you hope and see if there 703 00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:44,960 Speaker 1: are alternatives, because for the most part, I think childcare 704 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,759 Speaker 1: institutions do a great job of making it a place 705 00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,920 Speaker 1: where they're enjoying their time. Yeah, I mean they're playing 706 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:53,160 Speaker 1: with Plato with friends. I mean, what's not to love 707 00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:54,640 Speaker 1: about it. So yeah, I would check in with the 708 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:58,560 Speaker 1: teachers and see if this is something that lasts beyond 709 00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:02,880 Speaker 1: when you walk out the door, the tears are largely 710 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:06,960 Speaker 1: for you, and then once you leave she is happy, 711 00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:10,920 Speaker 1: because I think that's what happens with a ton of toddlers. 712 00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:13,799 Speaker 1: I would also say if given that it's hard on you, 713 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,720 Speaker 1: maybe you don't need to be the one doing drop 714 00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:21,239 Speaker 1: off every day. And I realize that you have a 715 00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:25,319 Speaker 1: mental pattern here that this listener was home with her 716 00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:28,080 Speaker 1: daughter for the first year or so and had thought 717 00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:31,040 Speaker 1: that maybe that would be kind of the long term pattern. 718 00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,440 Speaker 1: So I suspect that she and her partner may have 719 00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:38,000 Speaker 1: gotten into this mindset that they put the kid in 720 00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:41,719 Speaker 1: childcare because she got a job and therefore it is 721 00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:47,840 Speaker 1: her doing it. But you both are working, the childcare 722 00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:50,960 Speaker 1: is now there for both of you, and so maybe 723 00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:53,440 Speaker 1: you come up with a schedule that involves you not 724 00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:56,640 Speaker 1: doing one hundred percent of the drop offs, so at 725 00:37:56,719 --> 00:38:00,399 Speaker 1: least some days you are not the one getting the 726 00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:04,279 Speaker 1: clinging there at the end, and that would allow you 727 00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:06,960 Speaker 1: to start your work day in kind of a different 728 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:11,279 Speaker 1: headspace than if you are dealing with that kind of 729 00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:14,279 Speaker 1: emotional situation day after day. Even if you know that 730 00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:16,880 Speaker 1: five minutes later she's perfectly happy, it can still be 731 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:18,880 Speaker 1: hard to deal with the tears at the time. So 732 00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:23,560 Speaker 1: I would think that maybe you want to reorganize that. 733 00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:26,720 Speaker 1: And you know, who knows your child may not react 734 00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:28,640 Speaker 1: the same way with your partner. They might, but they 735 00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:32,040 Speaker 1: might not too. So you'll find out different audience. Different 736 00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:35,960 Speaker 1: audience behaves different every time. So our love of the week, 737 00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:41,439 Speaker 1: I'm going to say the ocean because I'm here Fort 738 00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:45,279 Speaker 1: Lauderdale and I don't live anywhere near the beach I 739 00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,080 Speaker 1: mean to do. It's like ninety minutes away from where 740 00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:50,719 Speaker 1: we are, but I have positive associations of the beach. 741 00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:54,400 Speaker 1: For me, it's often vacation or that I've traveled somewhere. 742 00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:57,120 Speaker 1: You know, a work conference that's at a place on 743 00:38:57,160 --> 00:39:00,160 Speaker 1: the beach. You know, it's just generally good time. So 744 00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:03,200 Speaker 1: when I'm at the beach and so I love being here. 745 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:06,680 Speaker 1: I walked on the sand yesterday in the afternoon and 746 00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:10,319 Speaker 1: really enjoyed it. So that's my love of the week. Well, 747 00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:13,319 Speaker 1: I love social runs, which is something I did many 748 00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:15,440 Speaker 1: many years ago and then didn't do for so long. 749 00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:18,480 Speaker 1: And this week I ran with France. Yesterday I ran 750 00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:21,759 Speaker 1: with Laura's day and I forgot how fun it is 751 00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:24,560 Speaker 1: to chat with someone while you're running in a lovely setting, 752 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:27,160 Speaker 1: and it's just so much fun. She ran four fits 753 00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:29,319 Speaker 1: of it with me. Today. I kind of petered out 754 00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:32,000 Speaker 1: at the end. Well, it wasn't so bad, so we 755 00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:35,319 Speaker 1: ran four miles together, two and a half out, then 756 00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:37,360 Speaker 1: the one and a half back. I stopped because I 757 00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:38,920 Speaker 1: needed to walk for a little bit. The heat was 758 00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:41,919 Speaker 1: getting to me and Sarah kept running, but I walked 759 00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:43,520 Speaker 1: for about two three minutes and then I was able 760 00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:45,640 Speaker 1: to run slowly the rest of the way. I saw, Yeah, yeah, 761 00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:51,960 Speaker 1: that heat is a an acquired taste or never acquired taste, 762 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:55,360 Speaker 1: but dealt with I guess the way it is. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, 763 00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:57,920 Speaker 1: Well this has been best of both worlds. We've been 764 00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:01,359 Speaker 1: talking about transitions. We'll be back next week with more 765 00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:06,080 Speaker 1: on making work and life fit together. Thanks for listening. 766 00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:09,400 Speaker 1: You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com 767 00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:13,319 Speaker 1: or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you can 768 00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:17,600 Speaker 1: find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has 769 00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:20,880 Speaker 1: been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join us 770 00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:24,320 Speaker 1: next time for more on making work and life work together.