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Speaker 1: This is Cowboy Sam, and this is ye how John,

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Speaker 1: and we've last owed.

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Speaker 2: In some amazing stories for y' all the Okay Storytime podcasts.

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Speaker 3: But before that, we got to wrangle a quick little

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Speaker 3: two minute out break from those bucking sponsors.

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Speaker 1: We bucking love so much they paid us the bucks

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Speaker 1: to help this show stay alive.

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Speaker 2: My friends took advantage of my kindness, so I sold

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Speaker 2: her things while she's in.

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Speaker 4: Jailah in jail for how low those prices are.

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Speaker 2: The title might make me sound bad, but there are

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Speaker 2: a lot of factors that play here. Let me explain.

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Speaker 2: I am a twenty five female dog trainer with underlying

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Speaker 2: mental health issues, including being on the autistic spectrum. I

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Speaker 2: mentioned this because I think it's important info that I

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Speaker 2: am easily overstimulated, anxious, and mostly importantly at the history

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Speaker 2: of being taken advantage of it because I don't understand

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Speaker 2: social cues all the time. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 2: from Vegetable Feeling eighty five. And if you want to

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Speaker 2: spit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay story.

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Speaker 2: I'm subredded. So about a year ago, I'm at Lisa

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Speaker 2: fifty six female. I was in a sticky situation trying

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Speaker 2: to help someone with her dog and had very little support.

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Speaker 2: I had been meeting with Lisa to help her dogs,

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Speaker 2: and she said she was able to help me with

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Speaker 2: the situation I was dealing with. This was fantastic and

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Speaker 2: much needed relief for me, and I appreciated it so much.

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Speaker 2: I saw Lisa several times a week and we got

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Speaker 2: pretty close. I was dealing with some heavy relationships stuff

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Speaker 2: at the time, and seeing as Lisa was currently unemployed

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Speaker 2: ex therapist, she actually helped me work through some issues

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Speaker 2: amazing right while, over time I started to notice some

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Speaker 2: things were off about Lisa. She's always been a little

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Speaker 2: hard for me to read, a little demanding, entitled, but

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Speaker 2: it seemed to sprinkled into charming, funny jokes, so it

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Speaker 2: seemed almost like she was just putting on this big,

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Speaker 2: funny character. One of the first red flags was when

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Speaker 2: she called me from the er. At this point, we

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Speaker 2: weren't that close, and when she called me, she had

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Speaker 2: already been discharged and just needed to ride back home.

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Speaker 2: She sounded weak, distressed, and oriented, and she requested I

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Speaker 2: bring her some food when I come to get her.

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Speaker 2: I was in the middle of a work day, but

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Speaker 2: I dropped appointments to go get her because I assumed

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Speaker 2: she must have already called everyone else and got no help.

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Speaker 2: By the time she got to meet. We weren't that

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Speaker 2: close yet. It wasn't a big deal until it happened

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Speaker 2: several more times. It also seemed like the more I

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Speaker 2: gave her, the more she expected, and therefore the less

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Speaker 2: grateful she was or what I could do. I'm all

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Speaker 2: for helping people when they need it, but for example,

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Speaker 2: after one of her discharges, the medical team told her

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Speaker 2: she should be okay, but she should probably not be

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Speaker 2: completely an alone overnight, just in case of an emergency.

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Speaker 2: She didn't actually even ask me if I could help

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Speaker 2: with this, just kind of expected it from me. I

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Speaker 2: told her I wasn't prepared to do that after working

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Speaker 2: all day and needed to go to work the next day. Pus,

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Speaker 2: my long term partner was sleeping at home, and we

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Speaker 2: don't do stuff like this without talking to each other.

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Speaker 2: She tried to guilt trip me a little bit, but

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Speaker 2: eventually conceded. She said that she has a new friend

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Speaker 2: who would call her throughout the night to make sure

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Speaker 2: she's at least responding. Again, I'm all for helping people

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Speaker 2: but you can't expect someone to drop their entire world

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Speaker 2: to do it for you. I also want to mention

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Speaker 2: that throughout all this I was always around, always listening

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Speaker 2: to her complain about things and supporting her the best

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Speaker 2: I could. I got her food, picked up groceries for her,

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Speaker 2: helped her a simple furniture. I brought her treats, I

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Speaker 2: gave her rise, and I was continually helping train her dogs.

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Speaker 2: It's not like I was totally icing her out. I

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Speaker 2: started out so grateful to help her, and I just

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Speaker 2: started to feel like I was being used over time.

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Speaker 2: She would text or call with emergencies or big feelings

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Speaker 2: a lot, even when I was at work, and would

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Speaker 2: leave voice smails, always telling me to call her back asap,

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Speaker 2: and I would always try to do my best to

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Speaker 2: respond as quickly as possible with kindness and, like I said,

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Speaker 2: bring her treats and things to make it better. Sometimes

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Speaker 2: she would text and call and even show up in

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Speaker 2: my work hoping to talk to me. To be fair,

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Speaker 2: she never demanded I stopped a training session or anything,

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Speaker 2: but sometimes she would gesture while I was with the

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Speaker 2: customer to her phone, trying to get me to look

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Speaker 2: at her to talk to her. So as the months progressed,

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Speaker 2: I noticed her attitude more and more. Not only is

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Speaker 2: she being pretty demanding with my time, but the way

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Speaker 2: she talks about her friends and family is a little slimy.

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Speaker 2: For some context, Lisa lost her job in another state,

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Speaker 2: I later learned because there's a malpractice suit against her.

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Speaker 2: She came to my state because her sister Karen, who's

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Speaker 2: twenty years older than her, lives here and that was

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Speaker 2: her only option. Karen let Lisa in her house rent

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Speaker 2: free with her two docs, one is not party trained.

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Speaker 2: Karen paid all the utilities, all the internet bills, and

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Speaker 2: got a surplus of groceries on a regular basis. Karen

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Speaker 2: wanted to support Lisa so that she could find a

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Speaker 2: good job and go back on out on her own

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Speaker 2: and be successful again. Lisa would come plain to me

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Speaker 2: that Karen was being stingy and she wouldn't help her

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Speaker 2: buy really expensive and fancy things like Lisa decided she

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Speaker 2: needed to remote control mindible bedframe and a mattress, even

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Speaker 2: though the room Karen had for her staying in already

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Speaker 2: had a bed. All the while, Lisa would periodically say

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Speaker 2: she was broke until my sister gives me my allowance,

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Speaker 2: which I later learned was six hundred dollars a week. Yes,

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Speaker 2: you read that correctly.

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Speaker 1: That's that's like a full job.

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Speaker 2: That's a minimum wage full job, depending on what state

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Speaker 2: you're living in. Yes, twenty four hundred dollars a month.

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Speaker 5: Oh my god, and she's still paying for your groceries

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Speaker 5: other things that you complain.

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Speaker 2: About, to pay rent. Yeah, you probably don't have to

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Speaker 2: pay taxes on that either.

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Speaker 5: No, because that's not a formal income, she probably doesn't

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Speaker 5: have to.

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Speaker 4: She should claiming, but she's not.

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Speaker 2: This is wild. Lisa was getting six hundred dollars a

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Speaker 2: week to live rent free at her sister's house with

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Speaker 2: her dogs, and still demanded help with larger purchases and

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Speaker 2: extra money for projects. Oh, while telling me Karen has

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Speaker 2: the money and just my hout to be fair, Lisa

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Speaker 2: pays her phone bill and she has some storage units

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Speaker 2: that she pays with as well. However, six hundred dollars

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Speaker 2: a week is sometimes more than I make, and I've

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Speaker 2: got a lot more bills in that. Lisa's dogs are

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Speaker 2: also on the most expensive dog food ever. And not

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Speaker 2: only does she have expensive taste and wardrobe but despite

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Speaker 2: having too many clothes to fit in a clause that

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Speaker 2: at her sister's house, she would continually buy more things,

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Speaker 2: more expensive things. After probably ten months with her sister,

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Speaker 2: she finally got a job. She was decided about it,

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Speaker 2: and I was so proud of her. However, pretty soon

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Speaker 2: she just stopped talking about it. When I asked, she said, oh,

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Speaker 2: I didn't work there. I just clashed with the dumb

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Speaker 2: lady who runs it, and that was all that was said.

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Speaker 2: She had a job for maybe two weeks. Get much worse.

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Speaker 2: Karen and Lisa both got sick trrying the cold and

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Speaker 2: flu season. They really don't have the best relationship, and

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Speaker 2: besides financial support Karen gives, there's not much emotional support.

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Speaker 2: They have a long history that I don't know that

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Speaker 2: much about. Well, with the illness in the house, Lisa

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Speaker 2: didn't pay much attention to Karen. She's probably turned out

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Speaker 2: to be a major problem because since Karen is in

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Speaker 2: her eighties, her getting sick turned out to be very,

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Speaker 2: very bad. Karen ended up being hospitalized for two to

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Speaker 2: three times over the next month. The first time was

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Speaker 2: after Lisa found her and realized she'd been stuck in

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Speaker 2: bed for like forty eight hours. She was so weak

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Speaker 2: she couldn't even get her seapap machine off her face.

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Speaker 2: She was severely dehydrated, and the pooped it all over

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Speaker 2: the bed. I know all this because I was the

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Speaker 2: one who came over late at night after a long

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Speaker 2: day of work to help out with stains and sanitize

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Speaker 2: the bed, since Lisa said she just coulda handle it.

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Speaker 2: And honestly, I didn't even really mind. I just felt

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Speaker 2: bad for Karen and had severe uti and I was

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Speaker 2: showing and was showing signs of dementia overnight. When Karen's

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Speaker 2: family's friends got involved, they blamed Lisa for this ended

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Speaker 2: up finding a complaint with an Adult Protective Services and

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Speaker 2: the nurses at the hospital did the same. Lisa was

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Speaker 2: insanely angry at Karen and Karen's friends, and she was

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Speaker 2: also angry that while Karen was in the hospital she

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Speaker 2: couldn't fork over any money again. The attitude was getting crazy.

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Speaker 2: You gotta cut it out to the streets, Lisa, to

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Speaker 2: the streets, Lisa, to.

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Speaker 4: Your jail cell though we know you're going to.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I forgot about that.

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Speaker 2: Noticing these behaviors and growing increasingly wearying, of her draining

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Speaker 2: and my emotional energy. I tried to do a sort

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Speaker 2: of intervention with her. I told her I was really

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Speaker 2: bad at managing my own finances and I had seen

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Speaker 2: some of my bad habits reflected in her, and said

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Speaker 2: we could both use some accountability and practice managing our money.

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Speaker 2: So I suggest did we keep law of her spending.

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Speaker 2: We set limits for ourselves, and we report back to

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Speaker 2: each other each week so we can motivate each other

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Speaker 2: and hold each other accountable. I was hoping if I

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Speaker 2: could help her become more financially independent, then she would

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Speaker 2: be able to get some distance from her sister, and

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Speaker 2: then maybe her relationship would improve. I told her that

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Speaker 2: we could start this practice in just a couple of weeks,

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Speaker 2: as I was really busy with some personal things coming up. Well,

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Speaker 2: I never got that far. Karen's friends helped her draft

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Speaker 2: an emergency protective order against Lisa and had her punted out.

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Speaker 2: The next few weeks were totally insanity. Since Lisa didn't

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Speaker 2: have a job, she was pulling and borrowing money from

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Speaker 2: anywhere she could possibly get it. She managed pretty well

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Speaker 2: to get some of her dogs fed and kept herself

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Speaker 2: in a hotel room. The entire time she was out

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Speaker 2: of her sister's house. She was so overwhelmed with everything

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Speaker 2: as she couldn't make herself get a job, but could

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Speaker 2: ask friends and family from all across the country to

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Speaker 2: send her money, and for the most part, they did.

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Speaker 2: When this happened, I was in the middle of moving

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Speaker 2: to a much more expensive apartment closer to my job,

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Speaker 2: so I decided to set a cap on the amount

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Speaker 2: of money I would give her. That cap was fifty dollars.

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Speaker 2: Anytime she asked me to cover a couple extra dollars

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Speaker 2: I'm purchasing or bring her food, I would add it

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Speaker 2: up in my head keep track of it. Again. I

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Speaker 2: felt so awful for her, but I can't be supporting

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Speaker 2: of another person when I'm barely capable of supporting myself

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Speaker 2: and my family. Since most of Lisa's belongings were with

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Speaker 2: her sister, she was determined to get an outfit to

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Speaker 2: make herself look presentable in the courtroom when she goes

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Speaker 2: to do with this, so she asked me to drive

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Speaker 2: her to Target. She had about one hundred bucks on

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Speaker 2: a gift card, and I was more than happy to

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Speaker 2: take her there and shop with her. After the clothes

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Speaker 2: shoes and a couple of very small basics. Her total

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Speaker 2: was so much that I had to pay about twenty

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Speaker 2: five dollars out of my pocket, and she had gone

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Speaker 2: over the gift card limit. I am only including this

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Speaker 2: detail to express I didn't. I'm only including this detail

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Speaker 2: to express it didn't seem like to her behaviors were changing,

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Speaker 2: even when she didn't have a place to live or

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Speaker 2: a job, because there were so many ways to get

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Speaker 2: what she needed for much less. Even at Target, she

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Speaker 2: was intentionally choosing more expensive brands. Anyways, within a couple

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Speaker 2: of weeks she gets arrested. And this was a crazy twist. Apparently,

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Speaker 2: even though Karen wasn't trying to press charges, when the

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Speaker 2: police looked into what was happening between the two sisters,

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Speaker 2: they decided it was enough to take it upon themselves.

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Speaker 2: I'm not really sure how all of this works out,

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Speaker 2: to be honest, all I know is I'm starting to

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Speaker 2: get calls from the jail because I had the only

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Speaker 2: phone number she memorized.

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Speaker 5: Oh okay, yeah, yeah. Honestly, it's probably because Karen has

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Speaker 5: signs of dimension now that I'm sure, like the hospital

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Speaker 5: of the state can deem her unable to make her

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Speaker 5: own medical decisions, so they.

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Speaker 1: Get to take care of it.

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Speaker 4: And yeah, she neglected her.

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Speaker 2: This is wild. Here's where we get close to my

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Speaker 2: current problem. My partner and I get my stepdaughter over

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Speaker 2: the summers. I absolutely adore her, even though we don't

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Speaker 2: get to see her as much during the year Bio

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Speaker 2: Mom took her to the old to the other side

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Speaker 2: of the country. We remained a great relationship and our

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Speaker 2: summers are hectic but full of so much love and life.

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Speaker 2: We are really excited because this new expensive apartment has

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Speaker 2: a very nice pool and my baby loves a swim.

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Speaker 2: That being said, the expenses of this place, plus having

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Speaker 2: another mouth to feed and a little body to clothe,

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Speaker 2: is a huge financial adjustment. Overall money's side, things are crazy.

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Speaker 2: Of course, I wouldn't change it for the world, but

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Speaker 2: that's the situation. Bear in mind. So after the arrest,

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Speaker 2: I ended up being the one who goes to the

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Speaker 2: hotel that she was at to get her things and

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Speaker 2: pick up her dogs. I was the only one she

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Speaker 2: can get hold of and the only one who was willing.

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Speaker 2: This process alone was so stressful, and between shifts at work,

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Speaker 2: I had to go over there and pack up things.

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Speaker 2: She had gotten more belongings from her sister's house to

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Speaker 2: the hotel, and her room was crazy packed with items.

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Speaker 2: Some of the and those were really fancy appliances steal

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Speaker 2: in the box, like a stainless steel air fire and

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Speaker 2: a two hundred dollars Hepa air peer fire. There was

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Speaker 2: so much stuff that I couldn't fit it all in

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Speaker 2: my van, and luckily the hotel staff helped put smilar

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Speaker 2: things in an empty room they used for storage. Since

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Speaker 2: I was coming and going for a little bit of time,

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Speaker 2: the room cleaners packed up most of her stuff for me.

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Speaker 2: I didn't even look through it. I just had to

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Speaker 2: pack it up and go. I even had to bring

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Speaker 2: my kiddo up to the hotel while I did some

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Speaker 2: of this, because I couldn't just materialize childcare all the while.

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Speaker 2: All the while, she calling me every few hours from

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Speaker 2: the jail, frantically asked me to reach out to people

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Speaker 2: on her behalf and asked for money so she could

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Speaker 2: post belt. Every person I reached out to said no

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Speaker 2: or didn't respond at all. Three days after the rest,

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Speaker 2: I stopped hearing from her. The next week, I get

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Speaker 2: a call from a representative that works in the jail's

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Speaker 2: mental health unit, and it's basically a caseworker for Lisa.

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Speaker 2: Her original message says something like this. Lisa says that

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Speaker 2: you have access to her tablet. She wants me to

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Speaker 2: give you a pass code so you can reach out

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Speaker 2: to X y Z again asking for more money. She

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Speaker 2: says she wasn't able to use the phones because she

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Speaker 2: got moved to the mental health unit unless someone puts

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Speaker 2: money on her books. I do everything I can. I'm

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Speaker 2: growing increasingly stressed. Her dogs are on expensive food, and

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Speaker 2: when I tried to give them my dog's food for

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Speaker 2: the first night, they were with me and with me

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Speaker 2: because I didn't have because I didn't have theirs yet,

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Speaker 2: they pooped all over my house with liquid diarrhea. And

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Speaker 2: this was awful. I had to spend hundreds of dollars

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Speaker 2: on their very expensive food to wean them on to

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Speaker 2: my dog's cheaper food. One of their dogs is it

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Speaker 2: potty trained, as I mentioned, and the other one has

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Speaker 2: bad anxiety with storms and loud noises and almost anything.

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Speaker 4: Oh, I don't even know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: How did you get yourself into this?

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Speaker 5: Because she kept giving her everything that she asked for. True,

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Speaker 5: would you fund her jail fund one more time.

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Speaker 2: Nah.

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Speaker 1: Heck, no, man, Nah, you can't do that.

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Speaker 2: I'm selling everything she got in the to pay for

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Speaker 2: the dog food and pay for my dog taking care

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Speaker 2: of the dogs. That's my money.

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Speaker 4: Those are your dogs now too.

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Speaker 2: For the most part, most importantly the stress, the financial stress,

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Speaker 2: the stress of having extra dogs to walk and feed

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Speaker 2: a monitor, plus live in an apartment complex with strict

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Speaker 2: regulations by the pets you can have. My dog, who

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Speaker 2: is registered with the complex, has been having major behavioral

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Speaker 2: issues because of the other dogs ruining our routine and

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Speaker 2: me not having nearly as much time to dedicate to him.

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Speaker 2: I know it's not his phone at all, but I

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Speaker 2: feel awful and I don't know how to change it

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Speaker 2: right now. While we wait, I spend so much money

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Speaker 2: on them that it was that I was late on

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Speaker 2: my rent and electrical bills less than two months after

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Speaker 2: moving in. I feel crazy, stupid for taking this on

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Speaker 2: at all when I clearly need to focus on my family.

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Speaker 2: But here I am. I made it. Rent is taken

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Speaker 2: care of, electrical is being paid off, and I got

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Speaker 2: some extra dogs sitting jobs the next couple of months

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Speaker 2: lined up to help me stay afloat. Oh my gosh, Oh, pe,

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Speaker 2: this is wild. Oh do you like how the story is?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, this is crazy.

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Speaker 2: Where's your line in the sand here? Where were you been? Like,

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Speaker 2: I'm done taking the dogs to the pound, selling all

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Speaker 2: her stuff.

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Speaker 5: So my my biggest issue would also be giving up

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Speaker 5: the dogs to someone, because I would feel so bad

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Speaker 5: doing that. These aren't your dogs though I know, but

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Speaker 5: they're dogs that are innocent and like, that would be

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Speaker 5: my line, but I think personally i'd be like, hey,

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Speaker 5: not the pound, but let's find a foster home. Let's

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Speaker 5: find someone that can watch them until we know how

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Speaker 5: long you're in jail for. But she probably shouldn't even

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Speaker 5: have guts to do these.

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Speaker 4: Dogs when she gets back out.

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Speaker 5: Oh, we're not giving her any more money. We're selling

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Speaker 5: her things. We are making back what she owes us.

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Speaker 2: We go, there, we go.

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Speaker 4: The dogs would be my issue.

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Speaker 2: For sure, plus like is this really your friend?

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Speaker 4: No, this isn't This is not your friend.

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Speaker 1: She has been using you, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: She really has been. Oh gosh. When I was really struggling,

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Speaker 2: I posted that extremely expensive air purifire on Marketplace because

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Speaker 2: I felt like I didn't know what else to do,

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Speaker 2: even though I really wasn't even though it really wasn't

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Speaker 2: mine to sell. I feel really guilty about this, But

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Speaker 2: on the other hand, I felt like I have struggled

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Speaker 2: so hard with the problem that really isn't mine. It

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Speaker 2: is justified. I said that I got Rent taken care of,

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Speaker 2: and I want to clarify it set us back far

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Speaker 2: back that we're gonna be in a similar boat next month.

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Speaker 2: And the electrical bill is being paid off in installments,

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Speaker 2: but it's going to continue to rack up. I'm out

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Speaker 2: of immediate danger, but I'm also behind on my own

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Speaker 2: storage unit bills and other things too. Anyways, there's a

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Speaker 2: lot more drama in the story, but the real details

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Speaker 2: about our history are what's important making these decisions about

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Speaker 2: me selling a couple of her items to making meat

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Speaker 2: while she's incarcerated and I'm taking care of her dogs. Anyway,

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Speaker 2: any helpful thoughts would be welcome. Did I make a mistake,

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Speaker 2: Should I reimburse her for the air perier fire? Or

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Speaker 2: should I even sell more of her things? Thank you

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Speaker 2: in advance. I don't know, man. I think selling her

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Speaker 2: stuff is the best route to take.

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Speaker 5: I think I think you can sell the obvious stuff

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Speaker 5: that's back in boxes that she bought recently. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 5: I think you can do that.

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Speaker 4: At the most. It's not morally right, but you can say, oh,

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Speaker 4: I just I.

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Speaker 5: Never even got those from the hotel, like maybe I

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Speaker 5: don't know, like.

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Speaker 3: That where.

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Speaker 4: So it's not the most moral thing to do.

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Speaker 5: But she took so much money from you that I

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Speaker 5: think you can do that to get back to that the.

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Speaker 2: Most moral thing to do. But what Lisa did, opie,

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Speaker 2: was that moral.

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Speaker 4: No, So it's just moral non moral against non moral.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's like an eye for an eye makes

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Speaker 2: a whole world blinde.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: If you got to get little frugal with money and

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Speaker 2: like savvy with it, you gotta do what you gotta do.

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Speaker 2: You gotta you gotta fee, you gotta look out for one.

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Speaker 5: First, I want to ban my bridesmaid because of her

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Speaker 5: jealousy made zilla. I twenty seven female, am getting married

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Speaker 5: this summer to the love of my life, twenty eight

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Speaker 5: Mal Andrew. Andrew and I met two years ago online.

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Speaker 5: I had only been on my dating app for one

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Speaker 5: to two months. We had gone on a few dates

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Speaker 5: and instantly clicked. We have been together ever since. By

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Speaker 5: the way, this comes from honey g nineteen the r

396
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,800
Speaker 5: slash too Hot Take subreddit, and if you want to

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00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,200
Speaker 5: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

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00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:29,639
Speaker 5: storytime subreddit. So Andrew and I have been through a

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Speaker 5: lot over the last year. In April of twenty twenty four,

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Speaker 5: my mother got diagnosed with progressive stage with a progressive

401
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Speaker 5: stage of ovarian cancer, where she needed to get a

402
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 5: huge surgery removing two pounds of tumor that spread, then

403
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,280
Speaker 5: had to quickly decide on what treatment plan after she

404
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:52,639
Speaker 5: was somewhat recovered. Shortly after her diagnosis, Andrew's grandparents were

405
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:58,199
Speaker 5: placed into hospice, needing extra daily home care. Sadly, his

406
00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:01,720
Speaker 5: grandfather had just recent we passed away from organ failure,

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00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:05,120
Speaker 5: and it has been extremely hard on us, including his

408
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:08,240
Speaker 5: entire family, through the mix of all of my mother's

409
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:12,240
Speaker 5: health issues and his grandparents. In September twenty twenty four,

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Speaker 5: Andrew had booked us a four day trip and proposed which.

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Speaker 4: I happily said yes too.

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Speaker 5: We both knew that if we were able to get

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Speaker 5: through all of the challenges we were facing, we could

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00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,639
Speaker 5: get through anything together, and there were no doubts we

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00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,960
Speaker 5: had about wanting to spend our lives with one another.

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Speaker 5: Fast forward to the start of my wedding planning. Personally,

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Speaker 5: I did not want to wait a long time to

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Speaker 5: get married. In the back of my mind, I had

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00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:37,919
Speaker 5: this huge fear of losing her before we got married.

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Speaker 5: Most days she couldn't get out of bed, and I

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Speaker 5: didn't know where we would be years ahead. So Andrew

422
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,440
Speaker 5: and I chose a venue and a date very quickly.

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Speaker 5: By the time we would get married, we would have

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Speaker 5: been engaged for eleven months. I quickly started to plan fast,

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Speaker 5: and by the time we were reserved everything, Andrew and I

426
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,760
Speaker 5: had booked the important things within three months of our engagement.

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00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,840
Speaker 5: Soon after that, I started picking out my bridal party

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Speaker 5: and even spent the time to make cute bridesmaid proposal boxes.

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Speaker 5: I had chosen my sister as my matron of honor

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Speaker 5: and my bridesmaids, my future sister in law, and my

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00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:15,600
Speaker 5: three best friends, Cecilia, Felicity, and Rachel. Whenever Andrew and

432
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,320
Speaker 5: I got engaged, our family and friends were over the moon,

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Speaker 5: and you could tell how excited and supportive everyone was

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00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:25,560
Speaker 5: for us, except for Felicity. Backstory on Felicity twenty nine

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Speaker 5: Female Felicity and I have been friends for about three years.

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Speaker 5: We both have a love for the city and adventure,

437
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:33,960
Speaker 5: so there were plenty of times that we would plan

438
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:37,199
Speaker 5: things out spontaneously. Throughout the years I've known her, she

439
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:40,560
Speaker 5: has always been a bright and free spirited kind of person.

440
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:44,280
Speaker 5: We grew close pretty quickly, even treated each other as sisters.

441
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:46,639
Speaker 5: The more I got to know her, I started to

442
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 5: see that she had been somewhat involved with a man

443
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,879
Speaker 5: back and forth. He worked in his family business and

444
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:56,720
Speaker 5: came from family money. Felicity actually spent a lot of

445
00:21:56,720 --> 00:22:00,879
Speaker 5: her time with him going to expensive restaurants. Felicity is

446
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 5: known to have an extensive taste. Going out with her

447
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,400
Speaker 5: can be a little difficult, as she would always want

448
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,480
Speaker 5: to go to expensive bars. Money for me has always

449
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:13,040
Speaker 5: been somewhat tight. I had about two other jobs on

450
00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:16,760
Speaker 5: top of my main full time job babysitting and dog sitting.

451
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,120
Speaker 4: Around this time, I was a single pringle.

452
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 5: But over time I would find Felicity changing plans on

453
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 5: me if something better came along.

454
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 2: Opportunist, opportunist, and keep an eye on that.

455
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,000
Speaker 4: You're gonna follow a Oh, she's a.

456
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,359
Speaker 1: Very opportunist mindset when it comes of guys.

457
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:33,879
Speaker 2: Oh, this guy makes more money than this one.

458
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,120
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna go over here now.

459
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:35,640
Speaker 5: Yeah.

460
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,400
Speaker 2: So that even with plants like.

461
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,639
Speaker 5: The guy she was involved with whenever he was in

462
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,439
Speaker 5: our city, or her inviting herself to his house for

463
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 5: the weekend, eventually I started noticing that she was low

464
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:49,639
Speaker 5: key stalking him, as he never seemed to put her first.

465
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:51,800
Speaker 4: I know the result of his behavior does.

466
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:55,439
Speaker 5: Not excuse stalking, but it was getting frustrating seeing my

467
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 5: friend not being treated first by someone who couldn't commit.

468
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,959
Speaker 5: This would start a lot of conversations with her about

469
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:05,119
Speaker 5: how important self worth is and how she deserved better.

470
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:10,040
Speaker 5: These conversations eventually ended as it was getting extremely redundant,

471
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,439
Speaker 5: and I found people change if they truly want to,

472
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,320
Speaker 5: so I would let it go. Around the time I

473
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:18,640
Speaker 5: met Andrew, I was personally longing to get back into

474
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:21,320
Speaker 5: my faith and started going back to church regularly. I

475
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 5: used to be very devout in my Catholic upbringing and

476
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,920
Speaker 5: personally felt like I needed a positive outlook in life again.

477
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,960
Speaker 5: So whenever I met Andrew, we started going to church

478
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,479
Speaker 5: together more and spending more time with each other. I

479
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:35,080
Speaker 5: know it is not common in today's society, but Andrew

480
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,399
Speaker 5: and I are waiting to have spicy sleep until we

481
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:37,960
Speaker 5: aren't married.

482
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,640
Speaker 2: Let's go. I'm a huge supporter of that.

483
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 5: This is something that Andrew and I chose to do

484
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,679
Speaker 5: together as we were only looking for a seriously committed

485
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 5: relationship and our life partner, Felicity, always seemed to judge

486
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,840
Speaker 5: this feature in our relationship. We were really close, but

487
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,639
Speaker 5: when it came to my personal relationship, she always wanted

488
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:57,680
Speaker 5: to know his size.

489
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,360
Speaker 4: If he was a good kisser, and if we had

490
00:23:59,400 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 4: gone first.

491
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 2: Also, who you surround yourself with is like a reflection

492
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,199
Speaker 2: of yourself. Yeah, and then this person doesn't seem like

493
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:10,919
Speaker 2: your brand.

494
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:12,639
Speaker 1: No, not at all.

495
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,480
Speaker 4: I want to know the backstory where you found Felicity,

496
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:16,639
Speaker 4: not Andrew.

497
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I know right liked that work out.

498
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,200
Speaker 5: I was normally not the kind of person to share

499
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:26,000
Speaker 5: those personal details of any partner I had, so I

500
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,920
Speaker 5: found it weird that she kept asking and laughing about

501
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:31,879
Speaker 5: it when she would ask. Also, whenever all of us

502
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,840
Speaker 5: would hang out, she would talk more to Andrew rather

503
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 5: than me, and always seem to just want to hang

504
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,360
Speaker 5: out with the two of us, not just me or her.

505
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,160
Speaker 5: Fast forward to when I asked her to be a bridesmaid.

506
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,760
Speaker 5: Whenever Andrew and I got back from our trip, I

507
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,400
Speaker 5: noticed she did not seem excited for me at all.

508
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:51,600
Speaker 4: She would keep saying, I'm really excited for.

509
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 5: You, I'm just really busy. I sort of overlooked this

510
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 5: because I thought she may have been going through something

511
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 5: at the time. Whenever I asked her to be my bridesmaid,

512
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 5: they'll look on her face was not pleased. She had

513
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 5: mentioned that her sister, who just got married, really put

514
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 5: her through the ringer with her in her finances. Whenever

515
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,439
Speaker 5: Felicity was the maid of honor for her sister's wedding,

516
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 5: her sister made her by all of the bridesmaid of presents,

517
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:16,439
Speaker 5: a yacht to rent for the bachelorette trip, and a

518
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:19,160
Speaker 5: lot more. Her and her sister didn't fall too far

519
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,679
Speaker 5: from the tree, though they both have expensive tastes and

520
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 5: are very particular. I am not like the typical bride

521
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 5: who expects everyone to spend more than five hundred plus

522
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,960
Speaker 5: dollars for a wedding day. I was already planning to

523
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,760
Speaker 5: make it really easy for my bridal party, like making

524
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,119
Speaker 5: it optional for getting the hair and makeup done, finding

525
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 5: inexpensive dresses, and even not really caring if I had

526
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:43,720
Speaker 5: a bachelorette party. So whenever I shared with Felicity that

527
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 5: she is one of my closest friends and explained why

528
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,360
Speaker 5: I wanted her to be a bridesmaid, she didn't look

529
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 5: a static but said she.

530
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:53,960
Speaker 4: Would do it. Dude, what, Yeah, I guess I'll come

531
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 4: to your wedding.

532
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:59,679
Speaker 2: Corly, you just want a million dollars, that's cool, I guess, dude,

533
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:04,720
Speaker 2: what this is not your friend? Yeah, okay, from what

534
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:08,240
Speaker 2: I've seen, yeah, your a backup friend. Anytimes she doesn't

535
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,120
Speaker 2: have something else going on in her life, she's gonna

536
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:11,879
Speaker 2: hit you up. Hey, let's go to the town. Hey,

537
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,119
Speaker 2: let's go to the bars. Have you ever looked at

538
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,040
Speaker 2: where you go and how she acts if you're going

539
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 2: to the bars, is she like trying to like talk

540
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 2: to guys or not really like you're just.

541
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 4: There to be there.

542
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's using you. And then in this case, you're

543
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,879
Speaker 2: like advancing in life and she's still in another lane.

544
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 4: She's like backup friends do not get to be bridesmaids.

545
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:33,359
Speaker 2: Friends are get excited whenever you ask them to be bridesmaids.

546
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

547
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 5: Soon after that, I started noticing Felicity's behavior change. Whenever

548
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:41,520
Speaker 5: we would go on our walks together, she would make

549
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:44,240
Speaker 5: comments like it's tradition that the bride pays for the

550
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:47,480
Speaker 5: hair and makeup, or whenever I'm a bridesmaid, I like

551
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 5: to know who they're marrying and be close with them

552
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,760
Speaker 5: and so on. I would also reach out in a

553
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 5: group text to the girls and plan on when to

554
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 5: go dress shopping, bridle showers and such.

555
00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:00,040
Speaker 4: Felicity seem to not want to be a part.

556
00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 5: Of any of it and only made an appearance at

557
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:06,040
Speaker 5: our bridesmaid fitting. I noticed this behavior more and more

558
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,160
Speaker 5: so whenever I asked her about her thoughts on being

559
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:11,639
Speaker 5: a bridesmaid, she started saying how she was indifferent with

560
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 5: it all. She mentioned that she was still unsure only

561
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,360
Speaker 5: because she couldn't support being at a bridal party if

562
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:20,960
Speaker 5: she wasn't super close with the groom or know him enough.

563
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:23,639
Speaker 5: This really took me back, because the whole point of

564
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,720
Speaker 5: being a bridesmaid is to show support for the bride

565
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 5: and show that you as a close circle, are going

566
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,359
Speaker 5: to walk the bride through this new journey in her life.

567
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,080
Speaker 4: That that's not your friend solicity.

568
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:42,440
Speaker 2: Felicity Delicity convictually that angel friend.

569
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,360
Speaker 5: This sparked a whole conversation with her about how our

570
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,080
Speaker 5: friendship seemed different. I know she was telling me how

571
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 5: she missed how things were and that we needed to

572
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:53,320
Speaker 5: hang out more, but in all honesty, our friendship definitely

573
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:56,159
Speaker 5: took a shift due to lack of support and understanding

574
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,119
Speaker 5: the person I knew would be supportive and not be

575
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 5: catty about it. I also felt like she didn't understand

576
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,480
Speaker 5: the amount of pressure I have been under and the

577
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:07,600
Speaker 5: lack of social life I have due to our family troubles.

578
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 5: I ended up telling her again that I will try

579
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,200
Speaker 5: to make more time, but it is limited just because

580
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:15,479
Speaker 5: I have no idea how my mom will be feeling

581
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 5: and so on. We ended on a good note, but

582
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 5: I was still getting a huge feeling that she was

583
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:23,280
Speaker 5: not convinced. As more of the planning went on, our

584
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 5: family started planning for my bridal showers and close friends

585
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:30,399
Speaker 5: started planning for bachelorette parties, Felicity didn't want to be

586
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 5: a part of any of it. Anything mentioning something that

587
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:36,040
Speaker 5: was about me, she would rudely respond in the group

588
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 5: message and make everything awkward.

589
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 2: She's so jealous?

590
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 4: Why is she still in your bridal party? Get rid

591
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:45,240
Speaker 4: of her, Carl.

592
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 1: You been pridging this all day. Where's the line in

593
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:48,800
Speaker 1: the sand?

594
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:49,520
Speaker 2: Where is it?

595
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 1: Where is it?

596
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 4: We need to find it.

597
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 2: We need to find it. Oh my gosh.

598
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,960
Speaker 5: She even had the nerve to be extremely rude to

599
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 5: my sister in law when she asked for help to

600
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 5: set up one of my bridal showers. Fast forward to

601
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 5: most recent I just had my bridle shower and I

602
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:07,520
Speaker 5: was expecting her to be there.

603
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 4: Shocker, she wasn't.

604
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 5: I had message to her that night asking if she was

605
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 5: able to get her dress yet, and quickly found out

606
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 5: she didn't even.

607
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:16,640
Speaker 4: Purchase her dress.

608
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:20,040
Speaker 5: When I read this over my phone, I immediately saw

609
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 5: red and sadness. This response just proved to me that

610
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 5: she never wanted to support me through any of it,

611
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 5: and that our friendship was completely over. Every time I

612
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 5: would have an opportunity to have free time, she always

613
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 5: responded along the lines of I don't have the time

614
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 5: to commit to anything scheduled right now, as it has

615
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,960
Speaker 5: to be more in spontaneity. At this point, I was

616
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 5: very close to just having her not be in the

617
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:42,440
Speaker 5: wedding at all.

618
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 4: That'd be a great idea.

619
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:46,920
Speaker 5: I had realized in that moment that she was going

620
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 5: to have a huge attitude the whole day of the wedding,

621
00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 5: even if she showed up, if she even showed up. Honestly,

622
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 5: after how wrong she has treated me, I don't even

623
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 5: have the energy anymore to make sure she's going to

624
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 5: be pleased. Also, it's your wedding, At.

625
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 2: Your wedding, you should be the one that needs to

626
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:09,920
Speaker 2: be pleased. Yeah, not her, Felicity. All this complicity needs

627
00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:11,719
Speaker 2: to be Oh, basically the city.

628
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 1: Oh five, that was good.

629
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 2: That's a basketball term thing they'll do like okay, see

630
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:21,120
Speaker 2: KFC UFC, Legas and five.

631
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:22,080
Speaker 4: What's in five?

632
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 2: Like they play? They played a seven okay, best four

633
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 2: out of seven, so it'd be like Legas and five,

634
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 2: so they'll win in five games. Yeah, Keon and Dakota

635
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 2: would understand.

636
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,480
Speaker 4: I thought you were doing a theater reference. I'm not

637
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:36,040
Speaker 4: gonna lie than Nope.

638
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:36,520
Speaker 2: Sorry.

639
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 5: After thinking it over, I gave her an option to

640
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 5: just be a wedding guest instead, as she may have

641
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 5: more trouble getting her dress in time and completing alterations.

642
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 5: I gave Felicity the option in case time and money,

643
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,720
Speaker 5: we're too hard for her right now and said it's

644
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 5: okay if she decided to do that. She responded back

645
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,959
Speaker 5: somewhat annoyed, saying that she was busy and would message

646
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 5: me the next day. She hasn't attempted to reach out,

647
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 5: even after I asked her before I went to bed

648
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 5: to call me when she gets five minutes. I am

649
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 5: seriously debating punting her out by the end of the

650
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 5: week if she doesn't respond to me, and fear that

651
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 5: she is going to ghost me completely. This whole situation

652
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 5: around my engagement has been extremely upsetting to me, and

653
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:19,680
Speaker 5: I am heartbroken that she will not give me the

654
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 5: courtesy to be an adult and back out herself. My

655
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,600
Speaker 5: bridal party is also fed up and thinks I should

656
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 5: rip the band aid off that she is not in

657
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 5: the bridal party. They also think it is ridiculous how

658
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 5: she has treated me from the beginning and are saying

659
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 5: I am better off. I could really use some advice

660
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,600
Speaker 5: on this. Please help and we have an update. Girl.

661
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of people who are confronted

662
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 2: with making the decision whatever the hardest thing to do,

663
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 2: most likely the right thing to do.

664
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:52,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, she's taking herself out of it already.

665
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:55,600
Speaker 4: We don't need her here. She's done nothing to help this.

666
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you just got to some text. Hey something,

667
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 2: it's best for you to be in the way.

668
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 4: Yep, yep, boom. She's probably not even gonna answer. Probably

669
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 4: won't we have an update.

670
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 5: I wanted to thank everyone who all had the time

671
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:12,120
Speaker 5: to comment on my original post. After she had ignored

672
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:14,800
Speaker 5: me for about six days, I had officially cut her

673
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 5: out of the bridal Party. I had a feeling she

674
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 5: would not have answered my phone calls, so I only

675
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 5: gave her the news through text. I said something on

676
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,880
Speaker 5: the lines of this, I know you've been incredibly busy

677
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 5: with work slash family stuff, but with this being crunch time,

678
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:30,720
Speaker 5: I really need to be organized and can't have things

679
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 5: fall through. So I've decided to make some changes to

680
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:36,320
Speaker 5: the bridal party. Overall, it seems like you haven't had

681
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 5: time to fully enjoy or participate in the bridal parties events,

682
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 5: so I am just going to take this off your plate.

683
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 5: I would still love for you to be a part

684
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,160
Speaker 5: of the wedding in a way that is less demanding.

685
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,400
Speaker 5: If you are unable to make it, I understand, although

686
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 5: it is a huge relief that I took the initiative

687
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 5: to cut her out. I'm still very sad that this

688
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 5: was how I ended a four year friendship. I'm somewhat

689
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 5: grieving still over the relationship we used to have, but

690
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 5: I realize now what has been gone for a while

691
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 5: and the damage has been done. I know now that

692
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 5: it will never be how it used to. Her response

693
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 5: of that works for me was closure enough to me.

694
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 4: Wow.

695
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 5: I still hate that it had to come to this,

696
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 5: but I know this will be able to help me

697
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 5: enjoy my day even more now that she's out. I

698
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 5: don't see myself continuing our friendship either, which is probably

699
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 5: for the better.

700
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 4: We have another update. Do you have any thoughts?

701
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 2: Like I said, you just got to send that text out.

702
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:33,960
Speaker 2: I think no matter what her reaction is, well we

703
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 2: got the reaction. Oh well, no matter what it is,

704
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 2: it's not your fault. Yes, it's hers. She decided not

705
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:42,760
Speaker 2: to show up to any of this things. She decided

706
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 2: not to be happy in, decided to be jealous. So

707
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 2: please don't put that on you. With whatever you do.

708
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 2: I understand you can be sad this.

709
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:52,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, this person not on you. Yeah.

710
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 5: Her saying that works for me that's the end of it.

711
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:55,960
Speaker 5: There we go, that's restop.

712
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:56,400
Speaker 2: There we go.

713
00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:58,800
Speaker 5: I do want to end this post on a happy note.

714
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,480
Speaker 5: I was able to ask my family's best man's wife, Lindsay.

715
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 5: Andrew's best man happens to be his cousin, and we

716
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,480
Speaker 5: are all very close as we have had frequent double

717
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:10,239
Speaker 5: dates together. Lindsay's extremely awesome and before this all went down,

718
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:13,280
Speaker 5: she even volunteered to take charge in my planning slash

719
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:16,360
Speaker 5: hosting my bachelorette with my close friends a bride a party.

720
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,040
Speaker 5: I'm extremely happy that I decided to listen to my

721
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:21,880
Speaker 5: gut and do what was best to enjoy my wedding again,

722
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 5: thank you all for reassuring me that I was not

723
00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 5: crazy and right to pump Felicity out. I'm extremely excited

724
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 5: to have no stresses on my wedding day and can't

725
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:32,880
Speaker 5: wait to call Andrew my husband in a few months.

726
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:34,680
Speaker 4: And that's the end of the story.

727
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:37,880
Speaker 3: Hey, John og host here, we're gonna get back to

728
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:40,120
Speaker 3: this episode, but a quick three minute break of ads

729
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:43,760
Speaker 3: from a sponsor's keeping the show alive. I took back

730
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:47,840
Speaker 3: my gifts for my niece after she went through my phone.

731
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 1: This is my safe Song, not your Snoop and Zone.

732
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:52,960
Speaker 3: Yesterday, I went over to my sister's house to help

733
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 3: her with some things. I was there for a couple

734
00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:57,959
Speaker 3: of hours and took a little nap for like four

735
00:34:58,000 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 3: hours because I was tired. After I woke up, I

736
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,160
Speaker 3: I went home and my husband was being a little

737
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,840
Speaker 3: off and seemed kind of upset or unhappy.

738
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, what's up?

739
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,840
Speaker 3: And he says, I'm being nice for someone who just

740
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:13,000
Speaker 3: texted what I did. I sent my kids upstairs and

741
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:16,200
Speaker 3: started asking what was going on. By the way, this

742
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:19,400
Speaker 3: comes to me user throw away Stacks and Rice and

743
00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:21,719
Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

744
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:24,319
Speaker 3: the ar slash Okay Storytime subpread it. He says I

745
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 3: sent him divorce texts. I'm shocked because I never did that,

746
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:32,120
Speaker 3: which I let him know. I even showed him my phone,

747
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:35,840
Speaker 3: which did not show any such texts. He then shows

748
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,919
Speaker 3: me his messages under my name and apparently I want

749
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:42,680
Speaker 3: a divorce. I was bamboozled because not only did I

750
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 3: not think it, but I definitely did not text that.

751
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,440
Speaker 3: This affected him a little more because we had to

752
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:51,279
Speaker 3: fight the previous night. But we have a tradition of

753
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 3: sorts which is reassuring each other that we still love

754
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:57,560
Speaker 3: and care, but are just upset in the moment. I'm

755
00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 3: only adding this because I said something along those lines

756
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,560
Speaker 3: in the morning before I left, which I brought up

757
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 3: when I was defending myself against the text I had

758
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:10,719
Speaker 3: supposedly sent. He then says I had done something similar previously.

759
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:13,680
Speaker 3: This is in reference to when I was pregnant and

760
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:17,840
Speaker 3: had some pseudo bipolar symptoms which have since been mostly resolved.

761
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:20,440
Speaker 3: I've only done this once, and it wasn't even on

762
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 3: the same level. I just kind of used to have

763
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:26,239
Speaker 3: terrible mood swings. Also, this was only during the pregnancy.

764
00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:29,799
Speaker 3: I have no bipolar diagnosis or anything like that. That

765
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:33,040
Speaker 3: whole journey was kind of traumatic and is not a

766
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 3: pleasant memory for me, which he is aware of. Anyway,

767
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:38,920
Speaker 3: after we bicker for a little bit, I decided to

768
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,919
Speaker 3: call my sister and explain what was happening. And then

769
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 3: I'm like, hey, can you pull up your house footage

770
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 3: from while I was there this morning? We're on FaceTime

771
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 3: and we fast forward to when I went to sleep.

772
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:53,240
Speaker 3: The outlet in the room I was in wasn't working,

773
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,400
Speaker 3: so I had plugged my phone in the dining area

774
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 3: to charge.

775
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 1: While I slept.

776
00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 3: We see my sixteen year old niece on my phone.

777
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:02,799
Speaker 3: She was on it off and on for like two

778
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,280
Speaker 3: and a half hours, smiling and giggling.

779
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:07,760
Speaker 1: I'm upset and her mom is upset.

780
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:10,160
Speaker 3: She calls her and asks if she touched my phone

781
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:12,759
Speaker 3: while I was there, and she lies and says no.

782
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 3: She asks her again two more times if she touched

783
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 3: my phone, and she says she didn't. The laptop is

784
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,800
Speaker 3: faced away from her, and I believe she didn't realize

785
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:22,800
Speaker 3: I was on the phone, or that we both already

786
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:25,480
Speaker 3: saw what she did. It was after my sister started

787
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 3: trying to send me the footage, which I had initially

788
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:30,240
Speaker 3: asked for, that she saw that her mom had already

789
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,719
Speaker 3: seen what had happened. She started apologizing and saying it

790
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:35,480
Speaker 3: was supposed to be a prank and she didn't mean

791
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 3: anything by it. She called out to me too with

792
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:40,840
Speaker 3: apologies while she was crying. My sister is one of

793
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:43,960
Speaker 3: those silent when angry types, so she wasn't saying anything.

794
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:46,719
Speaker 3: I did not even know what to say at all

795
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:49,520
Speaker 3: at this time, because why would she even think this

796
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:50,400
Speaker 3: was a fun prank?

797
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 1: Not to mention going into my phone without my permission.

798
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 3: How she knows my password, I'm not sure because it's

799
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 3: not simple or related to me. I had initially promised

800
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:02,479
Speaker 3: I would answer her seventeenth birthday, which is next month.

801
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:05,839
Speaker 3: She had previously also asked for a new PC, which

802
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 3: I got, but it's supposed to be a surprise. I

803
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:11,319
Speaker 3: also happened to be her godmother. My question is will

804
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 3: I be overreacting if I take all these gifts back and.

805
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 1: Keep a distance from her. Is that overkill?

806
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:19,400
Speaker 3: I feel maybe I'm punishing her for the way my

807
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:22,800
Speaker 3: husband reacted and brought up something traumatic for me. Also,

808
00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:25,359
Speaker 3: maybe his response is justified because he thought the text

809
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:27,320
Speaker 3: were for me, and then I was all smiley and

810
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 3: sweet when I came back. I'm confused on how to proceed,

811
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 3: but Reddit has previously helped figure stuff out before, so

812
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:35,840
Speaker 3: I decided to turn to them again. Sorry if this

813
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:37,920
Speaker 3: was too lengthy, and let me know if there's anything

814
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:38,840
Speaker 3: I have to clarify.

815
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:39,800
Speaker 1: Thanks.

816
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:43,399
Speaker 2: I don't think taking this away from her is gonna well,

817
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 2: it probably will sting, but she probably doesn't know what's coming.

818
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 2: I think there needs to be more consequence on Hey,

819
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 2: this is what happened, and this this is a consequence.

820
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,000
Speaker 2: I don't know if this were to happen, what would

821
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:57,840
Speaker 2: the courts do or like what would something to do

822
00:38:57,880 --> 00:38:59,719
Speaker 2: and kind of like I don't know, reenact that as

823
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:04,880
Speaker 2: ant because like before you turn eighteen, I believe that

824
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 2: if you make any mistakes or things that need consequences,

825
00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:10,160
Speaker 2: you need to prepare for the real world. Like if

826
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:12,520
Speaker 2: you pull this in the real world, this is probably

827
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:14,880
Speaker 2: what's gonna happen, and you need to prepare to that

828
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:16,799
Speaker 2: if you want to keep these behaviors up, or you

829
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 2: could learn from this and become a smart person, and

830
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:22,200
Speaker 2: I'll do them. That's what I would want for my kid,

831
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:25,840
Speaker 2: and I would have to like with my partner Dakota

832
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 2: in this scenario, mm hmm, we would talk about something

833
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:32,120
Speaker 2: and I think what you and I came to is

834
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:32,759
Speaker 2: what we would do.

835
00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:33,439
Speaker 1: Yeah.

836
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:33,880
Speaker 4: Uh.

837
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:36,080
Speaker 3: The thing the thing I'll say, out of all this,

838
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:40,719
Speaker 3: there's one caveat, and it's that Op said that they

839
00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:44,600
Speaker 3: were going to pull away too m And like I

840
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 3: would this. Clearly you're not their parents, so it's not

841
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 3: like you're responsible their parent them, but like you don't

842
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 3: need to do that, Like clearly they're still sixteen, they're No,

843
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:55,680
Speaker 3: they're old enough to know that was wrong, but like

844
00:39:55,719 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 3: they're also sixteen.

845
00:39:57,239 --> 00:39:59,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, relevant comments Irish Watcher.

846
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 3: The most important thing first is to make sure your

847
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,720
Speaker 3: husband knows what really happened, and to have your sister

848
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:06,920
Speaker 3: send him the video feed showing your niece on your

849
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:09,239
Speaker 3: phone after you make sure he believes you.

850
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:11,960
Speaker 1: I would then go scorched earth with your niece.

851
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:15,880
Speaker 3: Actions have consequences and she needs to understand that now.

852
00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:18,760
Speaker 3: And that is in no way any type of prank.

853
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 3: The person is there. With most pranks, the person is

854
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,239
Speaker 3: there to see the outcome and say ha ha. Your

855
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:27,319
Speaker 3: niece would have had no idea what was going on,

856
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 3: so how would she even know the prank that was

857
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 3: successful or not. And obviously I would change all my

858
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:36,160
Speaker 3: passwords on everything, including banking apps.

859
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:37,719
Speaker 1: Opee replies.

860
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:40,239
Speaker 3: He was present when I asked for the footage and

861
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:43,080
Speaker 3: he has seen it too. Right, and there's an update.

862
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:46,080
Speaker 3: Thank you everyone for all the comments and advice. It's

863
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:49,640
Speaker 3: incredibly appreciated. All of this happened yesterday. I only posted

864
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 3: because I was slightly conflicted to answer common questions. Yes,

865
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:56,600
Speaker 3: I did sleep for four hours at my sister's house.

866
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:59,840
Speaker 3: She's my sister. And we do stuff like that. I

867
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 3: didn't say I was tired from what I helped with her.

868
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:06,440
Speaker 3: I was simply just tired. Both of my sisters and

869
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 3: niece weren't aware of my husband's and my fight from

870
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 3: the previous night. Nice also was not aware of the

871
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:14,759
Speaker 3: full extent of my mental health struggles from the pregnancy.

872
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:17,400
Speaker 3: Niece wasn't texting for two and a half hours straight.

873
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:19,840
Speaker 3: She was on and off the phone. I assumed she

874
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:21,759
Speaker 3: got off it when she thought she would be caught.

875
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:24,520
Speaker 3: Apparently she has known my password for a while now.

876
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:27,000
Speaker 3: She learned it from looking over my shoulder at a

877
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 3: family event from a couple of months back. Also, according

878
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 3: to my sister, she has gone into my phone before

879
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:37,920
Speaker 3: at least three times that she fessed up to. She

880
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:41,799
Speaker 3: has transferred money to herself, taken videos and pictures on it,

881
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:44,640
Speaker 3: gone through my text with my kids and some other relatives,

882
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:48,360
Speaker 3: stolen other people's numbers, gotten passwords for my streaming services

883
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:50,680
Speaker 3: that they didn't own, and gone through my other text

884
00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:53,360
Speaker 3: with my husband. And yes, there's some nots safe for

885
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:56,960
Speaker 3: work stuff in there. I think you're I think we

886
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:59,280
Speaker 3: need to maybe put a little more focus and attention

887
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:02,719
Speaker 3: at the nie, Yeah, making sure she's not secretly like

888
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 3: developing very negative behavioral patterns. What because yeah, I wasn't

889
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 3: gonna say it, but blush uh oh oh, I think

890
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:13,000
Speaker 3: they deleted their.

891
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:16,600
Speaker 1: Well there it is again. So she's a thief.

892
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:21,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it said faif in annoy, she said on

893
00:42:21,239 --> 00:42:24,879
Speaker 3: a sounding money. Yeah, send sending money. This night years

894
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 3: is crazy. My husband is okay. We talked and he

895
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:30,040
Speaker 3: apologized for how he spoke to me, but I told

896
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:33,080
Speaker 3: him I totally understood why he would say what he said.

897
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 3: I also apologized for my reaction. We are okay on

898
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 3: our front and decided we're both justified given what we

899
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 3: both individually knew. Back to the niece, the only other

900
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:46,360
Speaker 3: thing she did, according to her, was transfer more money.

901
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:48,879
Speaker 3: I checked my recently deleted text and there was nothing

902
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,200
Speaker 3: suspicious there. But I don't know if you can delete

903
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:54,719
Speaker 3: text from recently deleted you can. She also said she

904
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:56,880
Speaker 3: thought the prank would be funny because there was no

905
00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 3: way my husband would believe all that stuff she texted, because,

906
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:01,840
Speaker 3: according to her, he loves me too much and we

907
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:04,919
Speaker 3: have a perfect relationship. In the texts, he had only

908
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:07,359
Speaker 3: replied that we would talk when I got home and

909
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:09,799
Speaker 3: that he wasn't going to have that conversation with me

910
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 3: over texts. This girl went all the way to add

911
00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:15,279
Speaker 3: that I would send the papers in a couple of

912
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:18,160
Speaker 3: days and talk about the kids with lawyers. I can't

913
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:21,400
Speaker 3: explain how absolutely pissed I am. The plan is to

914
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:24,319
Speaker 3: go absolutely no contact with her after learning of all

915
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:25,239
Speaker 3: the other stuff she did.

916
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 1: There will be no birthday and no PC.

917
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 3: Someone said to put up a post saying if anyone

918
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:32,879
Speaker 3: got a questionable text for me in the last twenty

919
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:35,120
Speaker 3: four hours to let me know. I did that and

920
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:37,440
Speaker 3: no one had reached out yet, so I'm hoping it

921
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:41,040
Speaker 3: was just my husband. I'm getting my money back. I checked,

922
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 3: and in total she has sent over seven hundred dollars

923
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:47,000
Speaker 3: to herself that I wasn't aware of. She did not

924
00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:49,680
Speaker 3: send it in bulk, just little bits here and there.

925
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:52,239
Speaker 3: I guess I didn't catch on because I do send

926
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:54,239
Speaker 3: her money often and I do have quite a bit

927
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 3: in my account blecks, so it wasn't obvious her mother

928
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:01,480
Speaker 3: will send the money to me from her daughter's savings.

929
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 3: Later this weekend, I told her mother about the suggestions

930
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:07,560
Speaker 3: you guys gave on community service and therapy. I'm low

931
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:10,719
Speaker 3: key scared for her future relationships and college life. She

932
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:13,279
Speaker 3: would not have any electronic devices for the rest of

933
00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:15,560
Speaker 3: the summer. Personally, I do not want to lay eyes

934
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:17,840
Speaker 3: on her in the near future. Oh and yeah, she

935
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:19,719
Speaker 3: has done this before to one of her friends, whom

936
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:22,359
Speaker 3: she's still friends with. I don't know why anyone would

937
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:25,000
Speaker 3: remain friends with someone like that. This hurt me a

938
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:27,520
Speaker 3: lot because I love this child so much. I was

939
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:30,000
Speaker 3: more present than her father the first eleven years of

940
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 3: her life. She used to come to me for her

941
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:34,240
Speaker 3: struggles and problems and all that teenage stuff.

942
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:36,240
Speaker 1: She had her first period at my house.

943
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:38,960
Speaker 3: Her other cousins on her dad's side are jealous of

944
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:42,000
Speaker 3: our relationship. For goodness sake, she was my favorite one.

945
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:44,760
Speaker 2: Riley, I was a crappy teenage girl, and I'm telling

946
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:47,480
Speaker 2: you I did the same crap at sixteen. I absolutely

947
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:49,759
Speaker 2: knew what I was doing. However, to your credit, I

948
00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:53,920
Speaker 2: also didn't understand adult implement implications.

949
00:44:53,239 --> 00:44:55,560
Speaker 3: Except when someone needs to start teaching her at the

950
00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:59,240
Speaker 3: very least. I mean, she's sixteen. She's not a monster.

951
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:01,359
Speaker 2: Iride like.

952
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:04,279
Speaker 1: She has time to change. Uh, faith reactions have time

953
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:04,680
Speaker 1: to change.

954
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:07,440
Speaker 2: Sixteen. Is you need to be harsh because in two

955
00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:10,319
Speaker 2: years they will be eighteen and out of this world. Right,

956
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:13,920
Speaker 2: A lot of yard work, dude work, I'm sorry. I know,

957
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:16,120
Speaker 2: like everyone's like child labor. On my I did a

958
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:18,239
Speaker 2: lot of child labor. And look at me and your

959
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 2: pro child labor. Yeah, I am.

960
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:23,359
Speaker 3: I don't really care what her mom does about all

961
00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:25,680
Speaker 3: these I just want my money back and to never

962
00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:26,880
Speaker 3: speak to her for now.

963
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:29,280
Speaker 1: In the future, I might be open to some contact.

964
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:30,760
Speaker 1: I've blocked your number.

965
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:33,000
Speaker 3: So she sent me a long email which I haven't

966
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:36,400
Speaker 3: read yet, and her mom also brought a handwritten apology

967
00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 3: letter from her to my husband. My sister is aware

968
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 3: of my decisions and has apologized for her daughter's behavior.

969
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:46,960
Speaker 3: My mom is also aware of the situation. Now I

970
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,359
Speaker 3: have no doubt it is about to become an extended

971
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:54,080
Speaker 3: family problem. Anyway, that's that for now. We have some

972
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 3: relevant comments.

973
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:56,879
Speaker 1: Let's get into them a little bit.

974
00:45:57,400 --> 00:46:02,280
Speaker 3: Scenario scenario ing, Uh, there will be no birthday and OPC.

975
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:06,279
Speaker 3: Will there be police for all the different crimes she's sixteen?

976
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:09,879
Speaker 1: All the different crimes. How many different crimes were there?

977
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 2: Well, there were some like not for safe things and

978
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:15,520
Speaker 2: that could be considered in some things like maybe revenge

979
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:17,839
Speaker 2: corn or like if you got end of.

980
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:19,400
Speaker 1: The shs any of that stuff.

981
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:21,239
Speaker 2: She didn't know, but like I don't know if she

982
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:23,400
Speaker 2: didn't really dive into that either privacy.

983
00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:25,600
Speaker 1: Well, it's the stealing all the money. Well now sorry,

984
00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:26,680
Speaker 1: I'm remembering now.

985
00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:29,120
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it's stilling the money from three different people.

986
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 3: So Op replies, we have decided not to go the

987
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:34,600
Speaker 3: legal route. I already got my money back with an

988
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:38,480
Speaker 3: additional three hundred dollars. I have not really decided what

989
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:41,520
Speaker 3: to do about the snooping, pictures, videos and passwords for now,

990
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:45,239
Speaker 3: do Cup twenty eight sixty seven says, not the a hole.

991
00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:47,759
Speaker 3: Please tell me you've now changed all of your passwords.

992
00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:50,920
Speaker 3: Op says, we have me and my husband and my

993
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 3: kids nice and that is the end of that story.

994
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:56,839
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam.

995
00:46:56,920 --> 00:46:58,120
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to these stories.

996
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:00,120
Speaker 3: But here's three bits of ads from our sponsors that

997
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:00,920
Speaker 3: keep the show alive.

998
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 2: I'm scared to watch my niece again after the stunt

999
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:05,800
Speaker 2: she pulled.

1000
00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:09,360
Speaker 1: Oh, she tried to jump over seventy two school buses.

1001
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 2: Wow, this snants of a novella. This happened a couple

1002
00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:14,800
Speaker 2: of weeks ago, but I'm posting here due to pressure

1003
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:17,400
Speaker 2: being put on me by her mother. I'll start with

1004
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,680
Speaker 2: a little background. By the way, this comes from throwaway

1005
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:21,600
Speaker 2: Uncle twelve twelve and if you would have spend your

1006
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:23,920
Speaker 2: own stories, go to your slash okay stories. I'm subbur

1007
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:27,440
Speaker 2: at it. So my brother Jeff twenty eight mel was

1008
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 2: and is reckless throughout high school. He dated mini girls,

1009
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:36,200
Speaker 2: sometimes more than one at once, and was always cut

1010
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:38,480
Speaker 2: in class to smoke or meet a girl. I was

1011
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:41,080
Speaker 2: already off to college, but my parents were always on

1012
00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:44,000
Speaker 2: his case, and it seemed like whenever I was home,

1013
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:47,680
Speaker 2: he was being punished for something or another. Well, eventually

1014
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:50,799
Speaker 2: he went to college himself and everything caught up with him.

1015
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:53,080
Speaker 2: He grew up in a small town and people let

1016
00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:55,360
Speaker 2: him get away with a lot. He ended up getting

1017
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:58,320
Speaker 2: punted out of school for a series of pranks and incidences.

1018
00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:01,160
Speaker 2: Instead of learning his lesson, he just came home and

1019
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 2: started partying and sleeping around. Cuts her. A few years

1020
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 2: later and he gets Janis pregnant, and none of us

1021
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:10,359
Speaker 2: were surprised. He was always careless. What did surprise us?

1022
00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:14,160
Speaker 2: That Janie kept the kid? We call her Natalie Jeff

1023
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:16,759
Speaker 2: freaked out the whole pregnancy and ended up ignoring the

1024
00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:20,160
Speaker 2: fact that it even happened. Except for child support, he

1025
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:22,799
Speaker 2: has done nothing to do with his child, despite us

1026
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:25,279
Speaker 2: pleading with him to be in her life. It's not

1027
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:28,320
Speaker 2: that he's a bad guy, he just suffords anything serious

1028
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 2: in life anyway cuts it out. And Natalie is an

1029
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:34,879
Speaker 2: absolutely awesome young lady. She would be the best thing

1030
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 2: to happen to my brother if he would acknowledge her.

1031
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:40,359
Speaker 2: Jani's parents disowned her for a bit for ruining her

1032
00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:43,600
Speaker 2: life by having Natalie, so me and my parents have

1033
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:46,080
Speaker 2: always helped out. I do this for Natalie because I

1034
00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:49,360
Speaker 2: actually am not fond of Janis. She confided to me

1035
00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:53,400
Speaker 2: once that she only had Natalie, thinking Jeff would step

1036
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:55,520
Speaker 2: up and she could be a stay at home mom.

1037
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:59,360
Speaker 2: She has a history of bringing random guys a home

1038
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:03,920
Speaker 2: around my knee. Also, I don't think it's ever been physical.

1039
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:07,960
Speaker 2: I think she is abusing Natalie. Her punishments are often extreme.

1040
00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:11,040
Speaker 2: She once took everything out of Natalie's room except her

1041
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:14,440
Speaker 2: bed because she drew on the wall with crayon. I

1042
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:16,680
Speaker 2: live only a couple of towns over more than an

1043
00:49:16,719 --> 00:49:19,840
Speaker 2: hour's drive, so I'm happy to take Natalie for a

1044
00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:22,960
Speaker 2: weekend or so. Over the last summer she stayed with

1045
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:25,360
Speaker 2: me for a month. I think Janie looks forward to

1046
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:28,239
Speaker 2: these as times to spend partying and going out with men.

1047
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:31,759
Speaker 2: Natalie is funny and sometimes very profound, and we have

1048
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:34,880
Speaker 2: a blast exploring the city together. She's also very smart,

1049
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:38,399
Speaker 2: sometimes in devious ways, which will be important for later.

1050
00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:42,239
Speaker 2: The incident happened a couple of weeks ago while she

1051
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:45,160
Speaker 2: was staying the weekend with me. It was Friday afternoon

1052
00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:48,520
Speaker 2: evening and we are at the grocery store. If I'm

1053
00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:51,359
Speaker 2: watching her, we get up early on Saturdays and watch

1054
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 2: cartoons and eat cereals, so we always pick a box

1055
00:49:55,239 --> 00:49:58,080
Speaker 2: of cereal to eat. I was talking to my girlfriend

1056
00:49:58,120 --> 00:49:59,920
Speaker 2: on the phone when Natalie comes up with the fan

1057
00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:03,400
Speaker 2: size frosted flakes. She's been beaming it like she just

1058
00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:06,040
Speaker 2: wanted a contest. I tell her it was a nice tribe,

1059
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:08,359
Speaker 2: but put it back and get a regular size, and

1060
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:11,279
Speaker 2: she starts to throw a tantrum. I regret this, but

1061
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:14,360
Speaker 2: between her and my girlfriend, I was getting a bit stressed,

1062
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:16,480
Speaker 2: so I snapped at her to put it back. I

1063
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:20,319
Speaker 2: regretted it instantly, She looks stunned for a second. This

1064
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:22,279
Speaker 2: is the first time I've ever snapped at her, and

1065
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:26,040
Speaker 2: this alone makes me feel horrible. Then hung her head

1066
00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:28,800
Speaker 2: and went and went to put it back. I said,

1067
00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:31,440
Speaker 2: I decided to finish the phone call and just let

1068
00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:33,960
Speaker 2: her get the big box. She just standing there in

1069
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 2: the aisle with her head hanging. My heart strings were

1070
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:39,360
Speaker 2: being yanked at this point. I go up to grab

1071
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:42,640
Speaker 2: the box she had, but when my hand touches her shoulder,

1072
00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:46,879
Speaker 2: she clowns away and yells get away from me, loud

1073
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:49,200
Speaker 2: enough that a few people turn their heads. I was

1074
00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:51,680
Speaker 2: a bit shocked myself and moved towards her again, and

1075
00:50:51,719 --> 00:50:55,279
Speaker 2: she really started on it. She kept yelling for me

1076
00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:57,759
Speaker 2: to get away, asking who I was, and yelling for help.

1077
00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:00,320
Speaker 2: Now I was getting a bit terrified, so I began

1078
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:02,080
Speaker 2: begging her to please stop, that she's going to get

1079
00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:04,200
Speaker 2: in serious trouble, even though I was really more scared

1080
00:51:04,239 --> 00:51:06,200
Speaker 2: of what was going to happen to me. Finally, a

1081
00:51:06,239 --> 00:51:09,480
Speaker 2: manager approaches and starts talking to her. She tells him

1082
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:12,479
Speaker 2: that she doesn't know me and can't find her mom.

1083
00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:15,200
Speaker 2: Oh no, my heart is breaking a bit right now,

1084
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:18,600
Speaker 2: and I'm panicking a bit, especially when the manager asked

1085
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:20,680
Speaker 2: over the rea idio for the police to be called.

1086
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:22,719
Speaker 2: I guess he saw that I wasn't running, so he

1087
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:24,560
Speaker 2: asked me to step into his office with him and

1088
00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:27,920
Speaker 2: that they would watch Natalie. What followed was the scariest

1089
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:30,520
Speaker 2: three hours of my life. First, the police came and

1090
00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 2: asked me a bunch of questions. They had Natalie in

1091
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:35,960
Speaker 2: another room. After a while, they believe me, but couldn't

1092
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:38,960
Speaker 2: release her to anyone but her legal guardian. They called

1093
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:41,600
Speaker 2: Janie and requested that she come pick up her daughter,

1094
00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:44,480
Speaker 2: so Janie had to leave work early, drive about an

1095
00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:46,680
Speaker 2: hour and a half to come get Natalie. To say

1096
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:49,560
Speaker 2: she was pissed at her daughter would be an understatement.

1097
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:53,000
Speaker 2: A piece of me regrets letting Janie leave with her

1098
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:56,080
Speaker 2: when she was so mad, but there wasn't much I

1099
00:51:56,080 --> 00:52:00,480
Speaker 2: could do. Everyone was full apologies to me, the manager,

1100
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:03,839
Speaker 2: of the police, and especially Janie. Natalie just shut down

1101
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:06,200
Speaker 2: and wouldn't look at me. I was nomb at that point,

1102
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:08,720
Speaker 2: and at the time it was like a bad dream.

1103
00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:11,600
Speaker 2: I went home and laid in bed until some point

1104
00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:13,359
Speaker 2: and I just went to sleep. Now it has been

1105
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:16,000
Speaker 2: about two weeks and Janie has been calling or texting

1106
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:18,600
Speaker 2: me almost every day, saying I can come by when

1107
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:21,319
Speaker 2: I can. She tells me that Natalie wants to apologize

1108
00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:23,960
Speaker 2: and feels really bad that she heard her uncle like that,

1109
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:26,919
Speaker 2: And I know I should, but the idea of being

1110
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:30,839
Speaker 2: around her right now makes my anxiety spike. Jannis has

1111
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:33,640
Speaker 2: also been pushing me, taking her for a few weekends

1112
00:52:33,719 --> 00:52:36,480
Speaker 2: during the holidays. That used to bring me joy, but

1113
00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:38,920
Speaker 2: now I'm just scared. I keep thinking, what if someone

1114
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:42,160
Speaker 2: less reasonable than the manager came along and thought I

1115
00:52:42,200 --> 00:52:45,080
Speaker 2: was kidnapping Natalie. I could be in the hospital. But

1116
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 2: then I go back to her being a kid. She

1117
00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:50,480
Speaker 2: didn't think about the consequences. She probably is really sorry.

1118
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:52,719
Speaker 1: Then I feel guilty and I can't get over it.

1119
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:55,560
Speaker 2: What do I do? Reddit? How do I get back

1120
00:52:55,600 --> 00:52:58,279
Speaker 2: to a normal relationship with my niece after this? We

1121
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:00,080
Speaker 2: got an edit, We can get into it. But do

1122
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 2: you think, Dakota, well.

1123
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:04,520
Speaker 1: Wow, you're scared, like it's okay?

1124
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 3: Well, first of all, kid probably is doing this because

1125
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:10,000
Speaker 3: they saw something on YouTube or on TV, or they

1126
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:11,880
Speaker 3: saw this somewhere where someone has done this.

1127
00:53:12,120 --> 00:53:13,799
Speaker 1: Clearly, they did not come up with this idea on

1128
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:16,440
Speaker 1: their own. They are seven.

1129
00:53:16,600 --> 00:53:21,560
Speaker 3: They don't understand the implications and the seriousness of Oh.

1130
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:24,120
Speaker 3: They're just going, Oh, I can say this and it'll

1131
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:27,359
Speaker 3: get me. It'll make me get out of this. Then

1132
00:53:27,400 --> 00:53:28,640
Speaker 3: he'll lose, or it's eye win.

1133
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:35,480
Speaker 1: She's not understanding no, that that's a lose lose clearly anyway,

1134
00:53:36,120 --> 00:53:38,600
Speaker 1: I think your fear is misplaced. I don't know.

1135
00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:44,840
Speaker 2: It sucks. You've seen the devious work she has done before,

1136
00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:48,080
Speaker 2: so this shouldn't be a surprise. I don't know if

1137
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:52,600
Speaker 2: this altercation makes you more scared than I would be

1138
00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:55,040
Speaker 2: more mad at my niece than scared of the police

1139
00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:57,520
Speaker 2: coming to me. I would be more like, Hey, you

1140
00:53:57,520 --> 00:54:00,560
Speaker 2: don't understand how much of a protector and how much

1141
00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:04,200
Speaker 2: I'm looking after you to say that about me. I'm hurt, right,

1142
00:54:04,239 --> 00:54:07,440
Speaker 2: you've displaced your trust in me. Not I'm afraid someone's

1143
00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:10,800
Speaker 2: gonna beat me up. Like, no, that's right. If someone

1144
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:13,560
Speaker 2: If I'm with my niece and someone's like she does

1145
00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:15,239
Speaker 2: she pulls a stunt and they're like, hey, who are you,

1146
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:18,440
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be like, I'm her uncle, this is proof.

1147
00:54:18,800 --> 00:54:21,360
Speaker 2: Call the police. Let's tie of the police interest, Like

1148
00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:23,319
Speaker 2: I'm not leaving her side I'm protecting her. Let's get

1149
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:25,160
Speaker 2: the police involved. But we got an edit. Okay, Wow,

1150
00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:27,520
Speaker 2: I don't know what to think anymore. First off, I

1151
00:54:27,560 --> 00:54:29,879
Speaker 2: don't have a problem saying no to the girl. I've

1152
00:54:29,920 --> 00:54:31,840
Speaker 2: said it. It's on. It was about the way I

1153
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:34,239
Speaker 2: said it. I've never been that abrupt with her. Some

1154
00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:36,880
Speaker 2: people are also bringing up possibilities I had it considered.

1155
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:39,239
Speaker 2: I always hear on the news or see articles on

1156
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:42,920
Speaker 2: Facebook about a man falsely accused of Spicy related misconduct.

1157
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:46,359
Speaker 2: Natalie has always had apprankaster mindset, but it's never been

1158
00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:49,560
Speaker 2: anything close to this, and never once has she hurt me.

1159
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,160
Speaker 2: I think it's best if I don't see her alone

1160
00:54:52,239 --> 00:54:54,640
Speaker 2: for a bit. I can visit her at my parents

1161
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:57,040
Speaker 2: and I've also been toying with the idea of introducing

1162
00:54:57,080 --> 00:54:59,759
Speaker 2: her and my girlfriend. We've been going out about six

1163
00:54:59,760 --> 00:55:02,680
Speaker 2: months now and she's the coolest, so maybe the three

1164
00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:05,600
Speaker 2: of us could hang out. It's really upsetting because I'm

1165
00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:08,200
Speaker 2: going to miss chilling with her like we used to.

1166
00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:10,880
Speaker 2: I feel like I got to I feel like I

1167
00:55:10,880 --> 00:55:12,839
Speaker 2: got to be a kid all over again. The other

1168
00:55:12,880 --> 00:55:15,120
Speaker 2: problem is that Janis is going to be all over

1169
00:55:15,200 --> 00:55:18,000
Speaker 2: me to take care of her. Thanks for the replies, guys.

1170
00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:21,800
Speaker 2: I've read them, all of them, even if I haven't responded.

1171
00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:24,120
Speaker 2: I'll edit and update if anything new happens. We got

1172
00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 2: some comments. Oh wow, I was so angry reading this.

1173
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:29,799
Speaker 2: I can't imagine how upset you must be. I saidcerely

1174
00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:32,359
Speaker 2: hope her mom handled her when they got home. That's

1175
00:55:32,360 --> 00:55:35,279
Speaker 2: really effed up and scary manipulative for a child at

1176
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:38,160
Speaker 2: that age. Honestly, this is just one of those crappy

1177
00:55:38,239 --> 00:55:40,960
Speaker 2: kid things they do. They like to push boundaries and

1178
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:44,600
Speaker 2: don't understand their actions can have serious consequences. The kid

1179
00:55:44,640 --> 00:55:47,839
Speaker 2: doesn't have the emotional maturity to understand how badly this

1180
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:51,000
Speaker 2: could have implicated you. I'd be terrified of this happening again,

1181
00:55:51,239 --> 00:55:54,320
Speaker 2: because what if she says something weirder when you're alone

1182
00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:57,360
Speaker 2: with her. I'm genuinely afraid for men in these situations

1183
00:55:57,400 --> 00:56:00,960
Speaker 2: because that whole absurd social stigma that arises when a

1184
00:56:01,160 --> 00:56:03,759
Speaker 2: man is seen taking care of a little girl. If

1185
00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:06,879
Speaker 2: this happened to my significant other, I wouldn't really want

1186
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:09,799
Speaker 2: him around the kids alone much. Can you discuss these

1187
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:12,799
Speaker 2: concerns with the mom and what she thinks. We got

1188
00:56:12,840 --> 00:56:15,440
Speaker 2: an update. It's been a very emotional week for me,

1189
00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:18,400
Speaker 2: and I wouldn't say things have blown over, but I

1190
00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:21,120
Speaker 2: wanted to update everyone on what has happened. First, thank

1191
00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:24,040
Speaker 2: you all. Everyone's advice has been helpful. Blah blah blah

1192
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:26,880
Speaker 2: blah blah. Now, before I get into what happened with Natalie,

1193
00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:29,320
Speaker 2: I need to go over a couple of things. One

1194
00:56:29,680 --> 00:56:32,560
Speaker 2: is that I won't be avoiding Natalie no matter what happens,

1195
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:34,640
Speaker 2: even if we don't ever hang out one on one,

1196
00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:37,480
Speaker 2: I would never conceive of not seeing her again. Maybe

1197
00:56:37,520 --> 00:56:40,040
Speaker 2: that makes me an idiot, Fine, I'm an idiot. Second

1198
00:56:40,040 --> 00:56:42,920
Speaker 2: thing is the weird relationship with me and Janice have

1199
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:46,959
Speaker 2: For Natalie's first year. Janis was a really great mom.

1200
00:56:47,239 --> 00:56:49,880
Speaker 2: She lived with my parents and they supported her and Natalie.

1201
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:52,799
Speaker 2: Jannis didn't even work. I started coming over more and

1202
00:56:52,800 --> 00:56:55,520
Speaker 2: more frequently after a few months of offering to watch

1203
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:57,520
Speaker 2: my niece so my parents and Janice could have a

1204
00:56:57,560 --> 00:57:00,720
Speaker 2: break even. Over the next couple of years, as Janice

1205
00:57:00,719 --> 00:57:02,880
Speaker 2: got a job and moved into her an apartment, I

1206
00:57:02,960 --> 00:57:06,319
Speaker 2: was still in town and made myself available to babysit well.

1207
00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:09,319
Speaker 2: I mentioned how Janis and Natalie, thinking my brother would

1208
00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:12,000
Speaker 2: still take care of them, well, I think she started

1209
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:15,200
Speaker 2: transferring those feelings to me. At the time, I was

1210
00:57:15,239 --> 00:57:18,760
Speaker 2: a nerdy kid and Janis was an attractive girl. I

1211
00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:22,280
Speaker 2: wasn't used to attention from attractive girls. We never actually

1212
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:24,520
Speaker 2: went on day or had spicy sleep, but there were

1213
00:57:24,640 --> 00:57:27,439
Speaker 2: nights where we hooked up, but she always wanted more,

1214
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:29,680
Speaker 2: and for me, the nights we hooked up were the

1215
00:57:29,680 --> 00:57:32,439
Speaker 2: moments of weakness. She had a kid with my brother

1216
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:36,280
Speaker 2: after all. Anyways, fast forward to now, Janie acts as

1217
00:57:36,280 --> 00:57:39,160
Speaker 2: if she got me wrapped around her finger and that's

1218
00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:42,160
Speaker 2: the one who got away. I've never robbed her of

1219
00:57:42,200 --> 00:57:44,880
Speaker 2: this perspective because it makes it easier to see Natalie.

1220
00:57:45,440 --> 00:57:48,880
Speaker 2: She doesn't know about my girlfriend, this will be more important.

1221
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:52,320
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, this dude just doesn't know how to

1222
00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:55,320
Speaker 2: like actually have conversations with people. Is this why it's

1223
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:55,960
Speaker 2: getting into this?

1224
00:57:56,080 --> 00:57:58,840
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's what I'm saying. That's why I'm

1225
00:57:58,960 --> 00:57:59,720
Speaker 1: this what I've been saying.

1226
00:57:59,760 --> 00:57:59,920
Speaker 5: Joe.

1227
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:01,640
Speaker 2: He's like, Oh, I'm gonna be with nat I want

1228
00:58:01,640 --> 00:58:03,480
Speaker 2: to see my niece Natalie, and I'm not gonna like

1229
00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:06,280
Speaker 2: get rid of this like mommy and daddy complex here

1230
00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:08,240
Speaker 2: because I'll get to see Natalie dude.

1231
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:10,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, you gotta learn how to talk right.

1232
00:58:10,960 --> 00:58:11,320
Speaker 2: Dude.

1233
00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:14,720
Speaker 1: These are talking right situations and he's been Danish good

1234
00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:19,479
Speaker 1: for six months to jannible up your speech. Come on, man,

1235
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:24,200
Speaker 1: Charisma increase for real, dude, you need charisma increase. Okay,

1236
00:58:24,240 --> 00:58:24,880
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.

1237
00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:28,480
Speaker 2: This makes sense why Janis has like because I was like,

1238
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:30,560
Speaker 2: why is like op Oka with taking care of Natalie

1239
00:58:30,640 --> 00:58:31,840
Speaker 2: so easily? This makes sense?

1240
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:33,520
Speaker 1: Sound yeah, because they're freaking.

1241
00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:36,640
Speaker 2: I called my dad after I posted on Sunday and

1242
00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:38,960
Speaker 2: we had a long talk about what happened. My dad

1243
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:41,280
Speaker 2: is good to go to advice because you can see

1244
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:43,480
Speaker 2: things from multiple angles. He said a lot of the

1245
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:46,000
Speaker 2: same things I heard from Reddit when I brought up therapy.

1246
00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:51,040
Speaker 2: You're counseling because of possible He mentioned some deserving things.

1247
00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:54,800
Speaker 2: He said that Natalie had some other problems with guys

1248
00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:57,760
Speaker 2: that Janice would bring home. No, my hair was standing

1249
00:58:57,840 --> 00:59:00,320
Speaker 2: up on my neck when he said that. But it's

1250
00:59:00,360 --> 00:59:02,560
Speaker 2: not as bad as it could be. I guess at

1251
00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:05,760
Speaker 2: least that's what she willing to share. Just some things

1252
00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:08,240
Speaker 2: like being able to hear weird noises from her mom's

1253
00:59:08,320 --> 00:59:10,600
Speaker 2: room when guys come over, or one of them getting

1254
00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:13,440
Speaker 2: wasted and yelling at her or Janis. That got me

1255
00:59:13,480 --> 00:59:16,640
Speaker 2: pretty mad, especially because Janis has already had a harmful

1256
00:59:16,720 --> 00:59:19,560
Speaker 2: relationship that we all helped her get away from, so

1257
00:59:19,600 --> 00:59:21,480
Speaker 2: the fact that she was bringing guys back who were

1258
00:59:21,560 --> 00:59:24,680
Speaker 2: yelling at them is worrisome. Anyways, I made plans with

1259
00:59:24,720 --> 00:59:27,160
Speaker 2: my dad to see Natalie on Wednesday on my parents.

1260
00:59:27,560 --> 00:59:30,560
Speaker 2: Janis had already cold once while I was talking to

1261
00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:32,840
Speaker 2: my dad, so I rang her back. This was one

1262
00:59:32,880 --> 00:59:35,320
Speaker 2: I got nervous because I knew she was going to

1263
00:59:35,320 --> 00:59:37,760
Speaker 2: try and guilt trip me into watching my niece, but

1264
00:59:37,800 --> 00:59:40,240
Speaker 2: I managed to hold my ground. I explained to her

1265
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:42,680
Speaker 2: that I didn't feel comfortable seeing Natalie alone for a bit.

1266
00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:45,680
Speaker 2: I would still see her at my parents or at

1267
00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:48,600
Speaker 2: a place if our schedules aligned, but I couldn't see

1268
00:59:48,600 --> 00:59:51,880
Speaker 2: her alone at least until the new year, and we

1269
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:55,040
Speaker 2: would revisit it. Janie didn't take this well. She kept

1270
00:59:55,040 --> 00:59:58,400
Speaker 2: telling me she had made plans the weekend after Thanksgiving

1271
00:59:58,720 --> 01:00:01,440
Speaker 2: and that I was put her in a real bind.

1272
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:03,760
Speaker 2: I tried explaining that as she put herself in a

1273
01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:07,280
Speaker 2: bind if she made plans without confirming I could help.

1274
01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:10,440
Speaker 2: She didn't like that. The real drama though, happened when

1275
01:00:10,480 --> 01:00:12,840
Speaker 2: I floated the idea that my girlfriend could come down

1276
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:17,200
Speaker 2: sometime and meet Natalie. Janis got real upset and then

1277
01:00:17,320 --> 01:00:21,600
Speaker 2: started accusing me of ignoring Natalie and her so I

1278
01:00:21,640 --> 01:00:24,200
Speaker 2: could beat with my girlfriend. I really didn't care about

1279
01:00:24,200 --> 01:00:27,040
Speaker 2: the grocery store incident. I just wanted it out. Oh,

1280
01:00:27,160 --> 01:00:29,880
Speaker 2: so he's like, he's like getting at her. He's like,

1281
01:00:29,920 --> 01:00:32,320
Speaker 2: this is this whole grocery store thing is a ruse

1282
01:00:32,360 --> 01:00:34,440
Speaker 2: so you can hang out with your girlfriend instead of Natalie.

1283
01:00:34,640 --> 01:00:37,280
Speaker 1: You're trying to get out of seeing Natalie. Does his

1284
01:00:37,320 --> 01:00:41,160
Speaker 1: girlfriend know that he cheated on her with Janie? No, no, no,

1285
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:42,240
Speaker 1: no no no no no no, no no no.

1286
01:00:42,480 --> 01:00:45,160
Speaker 2: He's been dating his girlfriend for six months. He used

1287
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:46,880
Speaker 2: to hook up with Janis in the past, so he

1288
01:00:46,960 --> 01:00:48,760
Speaker 2: used to make out and stuff in the past, not

1289
01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:52,040
Speaker 2: while he was with his new girlfriend. No, okay, no, okay,

1290
01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:56,600
Speaker 2: this story's not confusing me. Does everyone need a TLDR

1291
01:00:57,160 --> 01:00:58,720
Speaker 2: dig you spot give me a teal. I wasn't the

1292
01:00:58,760 --> 01:01:01,800
Speaker 2: only one thinking that, I think for sure. I know

1293
01:01:01,880 --> 01:01:04,600
Speaker 2: I wasn't for free anyways, I know. So he just

1294
01:01:04,640 --> 01:01:07,360
Speaker 2: hasn't told Janis about his girlfriend, and Jannis thinks that

1295
01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:09,320
Speaker 2: there's some kind of like relationship.

1296
01:01:09,160 --> 01:01:10,360
Speaker 4: To stop it.

1297
01:01:11,200 --> 01:01:12,600
Speaker 1: Stop doing this.

1298
01:01:13,480 --> 01:01:19,160
Speaker 3: You can't be in None of this is working for anybody,

1299
01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:20,520
Speaker 3: least of all you.

1300
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:20,960
Speaker 1: Ope.

1301
01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:23,360
Speaker 2: I argued as best as I could, but she hung

1302
01:01:23,440 --> 01:01:26,000
Speaker 2: up after a few minutes, not sure what's going to

1303
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:28,480
Speaker 2: happen with that. And we come to Wednesday. I was

1304
01:01:28,520 --> 01:01:30,960
Speaker 2: so nervous all day. I didn't get much work done.

1305
01:01:31,120 --> 01:01:33,360
Speaker 2: I just stared at the clock and tried to ignore

1306
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:36,320
Speaker 2: what I had to do. The whole ride down, my

1307
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:39,680
Speaker 2: palms were sweating. I didn't know what to expect. When

1308
01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:42,400
Speaker 2: I walked through the door, my parents greeted me and

1309
01:01:42,480 --> 01:01:45,200
Speaker 2: told me they'd go get Natalie. She had been in

1310
01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:47,320
Speaker 2: a room since she got out of school. I sat

1311
01:01:47,360 --> 01:01:49,280
Speaker 2: on the couch and tried to plan what I was

1312
01:01:49,320 --> 01:01:51,919
Speaker 2: going to say. She came down and had her head

1313
01:01:51,960 --> 01:01:54,480
Speaker 2: hanging down, and I went up and hugged her, and

1314
01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:57,360
Speaker 2: we both started crying. I said I missed her, and

1315
01:01:57,440 --> 01:02:00,240
Speaker 2: she was really starting blubbering and kept saying she was

1316
01:02:00,280 --> 01:02:03,160
Speaker 2: sorry over and over. I just kept hugging her, so

1317
01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:05,400
Speaker 2: she calmed down a bit. I raised her head and

1318
01:02:05,440 --> 01:02:07,520
Speaker 2: looked in her eyes and told her I knew she

1319
01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:10,520
Speaker 2: was sorry, but that things had changed now and she

1320
01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:12,440
Speaker 2: couldn't come over to my place for a bit. She

1321
01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:14,960
Speaker 2: started crying again, saying she was sorry over and over

1322
01:02:15,040 --> 01:02:17,560
Speaker 2: and kept asking me not to leave her Like Tim,

1323
01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:20,160
Speaker 2: That got my attention. Tim was over the worst guy

1324
01:02:20,200 --> 01:02:22,480
Speaker 2: that Janas saw for a few months. It was probably

1325
01:02:22,480 --> 01:02:25,560
Speaker 2: the best guy she's seen yet. He had his own boy,

1326
01:02:25,760 --> 01:02:27,680
Speaker 2: who was a couple of years younger than Natalie, so

1327
01:02:27,680 --> 01:02:29,400
Speaker 2: he knew what to raising a kid was like. Well,

1328
01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:32,880
Speaker 2: Natalie loved him, actually, we all loved him. He was funny,

1329
01:02:33,120 --> 01:02:35,600
Speaker 2: easy to get along with, had a decent job. We

1330
01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:39,120
Speaker 2: were all hoping that Tim would be around permanently, but unfortunately,

1331
01:02:39,280 --> 01:02:41,360
Speaker 2: Janie and em had a falling.

1332
01:02:41,080 --> 01:02:42,120
Speaker 1: Out and broke up.

1333
01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:44,880
Speaker 2: Well. After asking Natalie why she was saying that, she

1334
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:48,920
Speaker 2: told me that her mom had not only told her

1335
01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:51,840
Speaker 2: that Tim was leaving, but it was her fault and

1336
01:02:51,880 --> 01:02:54,600
Speaker 2: that if she did anything like that what she did

1337
01:02:54,680 --> 01:02:57,240
Speaker 2: in the supermarket again, then I would leave forever too.

1338
01:02:57,400 --> 01:02:58,920
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, get Natalie out.

1339
01:02:59,040 --> 01:03:00,000
Speaker 1: I've never seen him more.

1340
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:05,320
Speaker 3: Were like just acutely child breaking sentence than that?

1341
01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:06,800
Speaker 1: That's crazy?

1342
01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:08,400
Speaker 2: What did red boy wants?

1343
01:03:10,440 --> 01:03:12,840
Speaker 3: It should be illegal for you to raise a child?

1344
01:03:12,960 --> 01:03:16,560
Speaker 3: If you say something like that to your innocent child.

1345
01:03:17,080 --> 01:03:20,200
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Jannis, we just gotta get We gotta

1346
01:03:20,760 --> 01:03:21,880
Speaker 2: OPI adopt Natalie.

1347
01:03:22,080 --> 01:03:24,440
Speaker 1: We're banning all stories with the name Janie.

1348
01:03:24,680 --> 01:03:27,880
Speaker 2: After time, me and my parents were pretty mad after

1349
01:03:28,040 --> 01:03:30,880
Speaker 2: hearing that. I reassured her that I would never leave

1350
01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:33,640
Speaker 2: her and that she stuck with me. I did tell

1351
01:03:33,680 --> 01:03:36,440
Speaker 2: her that what she did to hurt me was dangerous

1352
01:03:36,840 --> 01:03:39,880
Speaker 2: and we couldn't spend much time together like we used

1353
01:03:39,920 --> 01:03:42,480
Speaker 2: to for a while. I used I used a line

1354
01:03:43,080 --> 01:03:46,880
Speaker 2: that like it Mistress posted in the last thread, I

1355
01:03:46,920 --> 01:03:49,880
Speaker 2: love you, but I don't love what you did. She

1356
01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:51,920
Speaker 2: told me she was sorry over and over, and I

1357
01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:55,280
Speaker 2: accepted her apology. I hung around until her bedtime. We

1358
01:03:55,320 --> 01:03:57,800
Speaker 2: watched the Adventure time, I helped her with her homework

1359
01:03:57,920 --> 01:03:59,840
Speaker 2: and put her to bed. We were both in a

1360
01:04:00,080 --> 01:04:03,240
Speaker 2: much better mood by then. If Jeff and Janice got together,

1361
01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:08,280
Speaker 2: Janis probably has a lot of attributions Like Jeff. Two,

1362
01:04:08,960 --> 01:04:12,120
Speaker 2: she is not very the smartest person because she thought

1363
01:04:12,160 --> 01:04:14,080
Speaker 2: that Jeff would stay with her whenever she had the kid.

1364
01:04:14,120 --> 01:04:16,680
Speaker 2: And three, she's not really ready or built to be

1365
01:04:16,720 --> 01:04:19,280
Speaker 2: a mother yet because she was like whenever she was

1366
01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:21,320
Speaker 2: a stay at home mom. Basically she was a great mom,

1367
01:04:21,360 --> 01:04:24,040
Speaker 2: but whenever she had esca work and provide for a kid,

1368
01:04:24,600 --> 01:04:27,640
Speaker 2: she's not ready for that. And she's thinking she's doing

1369
01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:30,880
Speaker 2: the best that she can, but she's being very selfish

1370
01:04:30,920 --> 01:04:34,560
Speaker 2: and prioritizing herself rather than her kid because she was

1371
01:04:34,600 --> 01:04:36,760
Speaker 2: hoping to be a part of the family. But now

1372
01:04:36,760 --> 01:04:39,640
Speaker 2: she's stuck with this, and I think it's time to

1373
01:04:40,360 --> 01:04:42,600
Speaker 2: for Janice to just give Natalie up.

1374
01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:45,560
Speaker 3: I just a horrific chain of events that, dude, you're

1375
01:04:45,560 --> 01:04:46,360
Speaker 3: breaking your kid.

1376
01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:50,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're breaking your kid, like acutely. By Saint God.

1377
01:04:50,840 --> 01:04:54,960
Speaker 3: I just can't I truly can't imagine what hearing something

1378
01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:56,520
Speaker 3: like that at seven.

1379
01:04:56,720 --> 01:04:57,440
Speaker 1: Would do to me.

1380
01:04:57,640 --> 01:04:59,240
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, like.

1381
01:04:59,640 --> 01:05:02,080
Speaker 3: I wou I didn't even know it, and I'd like,

1382
01:05:02,640 --> 01:05:05,720
Speaker 3: oh my god, that's like not even a thing you're

1383
01:05:05,840 --> 01:05:09,080
Speaker 3: conscious of. I think it's something that you like. Slowly

1384
01:05:09,120 --> 01:05:11,360
Speaker 3: over time, you just go why do I think this?

1385
01:05:11,480 --> 01:05:13,720
Speaker 3: And it's like, oh, it's because my mom told me

1386
01:05:14,440 --> 01:05:16,720
Speaker 3: I was the reason Tim left when I was seven.

1387
01:05:17,280 --> 01:05:19,680
Speaker 3: Now that's why I think everything's my fault.

1388
01:05:19,960 --> 01:05:22,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, back to the story. I'm now in another word

1389
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:25,560
Speaker 2: spot On one hand, I want to chew Janis out

1390
01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:28,320
Speaker 2: big time for pulling all that crap on my niece's shoulders.

1391
01:05:28,720 --> 01:05:31,600
Speaker 2: On the other I'm actually afraid that if I poke

1392
01:05:31,680 --> 01:05:34,840
Speaker 2: the bear too much, Janis may withhold her daughter from

1393
01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:38,160
Speaker 2: me indefinitely. I think Janis feels like she lost control

1394
01:05:38,200 --> 01:05:41,840
Speaker 2: of the situation and maybe do something jurassic to get

1395
01:05:41,880 --> 01:05:44,120
Speaker 2: it back. I do risk being cut out of my

1396
01:05:44,200 --> 01:05:47,440
Speaker 2: niece's life by putting her mom in her place. Is

1397
01:05:47,480 --> 01:05:50,200
Speaker 2: there any one we can call? Thanks in advance, we

1398
01:05:50,240 --> 01:05:52,880
Speaker 2: got a comment. I do remember reading your first post

1399
01:05:52,960 --> 01:05:55,400
Speaker 2: a while ago and not really knowing what to say,

1400
01:05:55,600 --> 01:05:58,280
Speaker 2: but actually have some advice here. I spent the majority

1401
01:05:58,320 --> 01:06:00,840
Speaker 2: of my younger years being taken care of by my

1402
01:06:00,920 --> 01:06:04,360
Speaker 2: grandmother and aunt and uncle. My parents had issues and

1403
01:06:04,400 --> 01:06:07,640
Speaker 2: I was catered off to them during the weekdays. They

1404
01:06:07,640 --> 01:06:10,520
Speaker 2: were good parents, just made mistakes. I want to say

1405
01:06:10,560 --> 01:06:13,320
Speaker 2: that if she been taking care of you as much

1406
01:06:13,680 --> 01:06:16,880
Speaker 2: as she is, she considers you a father too. I

1407
01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:19,280
Speaker 2: used to tell people I had three moms, my grandmother,

1408
01:06:19,320 --> 01:06:21,680
Speaker 2: my aunt, and my mom, and called my cousins my

1409
01:06:21,720 --> 01:06:25,080
Speaker 2: brother and sister. Lines of uncle, aunt, grandmother, mom, dad

1410
01:06:25,200 --> 01:06:27,960
Speaker 2: are blurred when kids are taken care of in the

1411
01:06:28,040 --> 01:06:32,120
Speaker 2: extended families. In my mom's home country, it's really common

1412
01:06:32,120 --> 01:06:35,080
Speaker 2: to foster your kids out of extended family because you

1413
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:37,440
Speaker 2: can't afford to take care of them. So I have

1414
01:06:37,520 --> 01:06:40,760
Speaker 2: a lot of relatives who have seen these lines blurred together,

1415
01:06:41,120 --> 01:06:44,160
Speaker 2: and Natalie seems to have an abandonment issues. It seems

1416
01:06:44,160 --> 01:06:46,800
Speaker 2: to me that Janis expects you to take care of

1417
01:06:46,840 --> 01:06:51,920
Speaker 2: her or your brother and blames Natalie because no one

1418
01:06:51,960 --> 01:06:54,760
Speaker 2: wants a woman with a child or whatever she believes

1419
01:06:54,760 --> 01:06:58,960
Speaker 2: herself and her dating situation. Sleeping with her was a

1420
01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:02,280
Speaker 2: big old mistake. But what you need to focus on

1421
01:07:02,920 --> 01:07:05,960
Speaker 2: is that Natalie gets help. Whatever Janice has taught Natalie

1422
01:07:05,960 --> 01:07:09,800
Speaker 2: about parental love, it has definitely been warping her ideas

1423
01:07:09,840 --> 01:07:12,320
Speaker 2: about you, and it's making her act out in front

1424
01:07:12,360 --> 01:07:15,840
Speaker 2: of you. Getting her counseling, get her to talk to someone,

1425
01:07:15,880 --> 01:07:19,080
Speaker 2: maybe your mom, and get the full story. Ask her

1426
01:07:19,120 --> 01:07:22,680
Speaker 2: about exactly what happened with Tim. This might sound drastic,

1427
01:07:23,040 --> 01:07:26,200
Speaker 2: but would you or your parents ever consider taking over

1428
01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:29,000
Speaker 2: custody Hope, He says, it's come up before, not a

1429
01:07:29,040 --> 01:07:32,520
Speaker 2: serious option, but it's just a case scenario. It would

1430
01:07:32,560 --> 01:07:35,680
Speaker 2: be my parents likely they were well off and retired

1431
01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:38,960
Speaker 2: early and could be true full time caretakers. They're in

1432
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:41,680
Speaker 2: their late sixties, though, so I would have to help out.

1433
01:07:41,720 --> 01:07:44,920
Speaker 2: I'm sure I get the same feeling about Janie. It

1434
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:47,160
Speaker 2: seems like she hops from one guy to the next,

1435
01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:49,920
Speaker 2: hoping of one of them will start will start taking

1436
01:07:49,920 --> 01:07:52,480
Speaker 2: care of her and Natalie. I do want to stress

1437
01:07:52,520 --> 01:07:55,160
Speaker 2: real quick that me and Janie did not have intercourse,

1438
01:07:55,240 --> 01:07:58,640
Speaker 2: although we fooled around and got closed once or twice.

1439
01:07:59,080 --> 01:08:02,840
Speaker 2: Counseling seems to be conscientious now. But I'm in the

1440
01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:05,920
Speaker 2: last thread, so I will start looking up resources. We

1441
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:08,080
Speaker 2: got to reply. If you can find a way to

1442
01:08:08,120 --> 01:08:11,160
Speaker 2: have your parents become the legal guardians, please do so.

1443
01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:15,000
Speaker 2: Otherwise the good that you can do for your Natalie

1444
01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:18,559
Speaker 2: will always be limited by having to tiptoe around Janie,

1445
01:08:18,880 --> 01:08:22,559
Speaker 2: and Janice will keep damaging her and letting others damage her.

1446
01:08:22,960 --> 01:08:24,559
Speaker 2: That's it. Wow, that's the story, guys,