Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, we're back. We're black. We are also
Speaker 1: around ambition.
Speaker 2: Oh man, I think that high note was so high
Speaker 2: that you froze.
Speaker 3: Okay, you're back now. How are you doing, friend? Good?
Speaker 1: How is your your extended weekend?
Speaker 2: Well, it seemed like after we finished recording last week,
Speaker 2: the world exploded and it knocked me on my ass.
Speaker 2: And I know that you know a thing or two
Speaker 2: about grief. Unfortunately, and this that shooting in Uvalde, Texas
Speaker 2: it happened. I mean I came off the high of
Speaker 2: the show and then had something else to do and
Speaker 2: then went to pick up my from daycare, and my
Speaker 2: husband decided to just text me the news, and I
Speaker 2: mean I had to pull over like it was to
Speaker 2: my knees devastating. And I think my biggest fear now
Speaker 2: is that people are gonna go back to business as usual.
Speaker 3: I don't know what the alternative.
Speaker 2: I don't want to go back to business as usual.
Speaker 2: And I've like I did something the next day because
Speaker 2: I just woke up and I was just like it
Speaker 2: was so heavy, and I just put up my vacation
Speaker 2: responder saying that I was going to be taking some
Speaker 2: time off to to mourn the losses of life. It
Speaker 2: was just after Buffalo, you know, I know we're going
Speaker 2: to have after Buffalo. I just nineteen babies and their
Speaker 2: teacher and their two teachers.
Speaker 1: Yes, when I saw that, you know, because I used
Speaker 1: to be a teacher, I don't even know the level
Speaker 1: of terror those kids must have gone through, and their teachers.
Speaker 1: I mean, I can't imagine, because when you're teaching, literally
Speaker 1: especially little ones, this weird thing comes over you where
Speaker 1: you're like, well, this is my child now, like when
Speaker 1: I was as soon as I entered into the classroom,
Speaker 1: when you drop your baby off, that's my baby too,
Speaker 1: because since we could fight, like you know, like I
Speaker 1: love your child like just as much as you do
Speaker 1: when they're here with me. So I can't imagine how
Speaker 1: they must have felt, the teachers that were in there,
Speaker 1: how terrified they were for themselves, but especially because that's
Speaker 1: what happens. Like it could be me going to the
Speaker 1: park with the kids and just like a strange person
Speaker 1: standing around, I mean, the mama bear that used to
Speaker 1: come out of me. I'm like, why are you at
Speaker 1: this park? Well, I just know I need you to
Speaker 1: walk away. I can't come to the park, not why
Speaker 1: the kids are here because you have just this weird look,
Speaker 1: and if it takes us to fight, sir, I'll send
Speaker 1: the kids back and we could tell. Like literally, that's
Speaker 1: how I was like. But honestly, I found that most
Speaker 1: teachers of little ones were like them too, So I
Speaker 1: can't even I can't even imagine. I saw one father.
Speaker 1: I don't even know why I watched it because I
Speaker 1: was hysteriic after of how he was just like, I
Speaker 1: just want my baby back, Like what, I just want
Speaker 1: my baby bag?
Speaker 2: What do you want me to say? There's nothing to
Speaker 2: be said. I want my and she shouldn't. I think
Speaker 2: I know what interview you're talking about too.
Speaker 1: There was heartbreaking.
Speaker 2: As much as you know we talk about this too.
Speaker 2: Maybe you have something is to say. I struggle with
Speaker 2: the whole I know self care is important, and I
Speaker 2: know that we have to kind of protect ourselves from
Speaker 2: the news, but I didn't want to protect myself. I
Speaker 2: wanted to read the names. I wanted to read the
Speaker 2: minute by minute account of the shooting. I wanted to
Speaker 2: understand how it happened, as painful as it was and
Speaker 2: continues to be. I don't know that I'm not ready
Speaker 2: to stop I just don't want to not care. I
Speaker 2: don't want to not talk about it. You know, it's
Speaker 2: heavy and devastating and terrifying. Who else is going to
Speaker 2: save babies? Like the people that we've elected into power,
Speaker 2: I mean, they're not doing shit. They ain't doing a
Speaker 2: damn thing. And I'm like, as a mom, as a
Speaker 2: human you don't have to be a mom, forget that
Speaker 2: a human being, yeah, you know where what I'm just like,
Speaker 2: what can we do to save the children, the babies
Speaker 2: who are happy to learn?
Speaker 1: In general? Because I saw someone said, which is so true.
Speaker 1: It's like nothing says that we need to ban these
Speaker 1: like automatic assault rifles, then police being afraid to go
Speaker 1: in because they have an automatical salt rifle. I mean,
Speaker 1: what does it take? One thing I will say that
Speaker 1: gave me a little like that shave a little bit
Speaker 1: off of my feeling disheartened is to see all those
Speaker 1: people protesting in Texas and I think, rally, yes, that
Speaker 1: we've turned a corner that people are like, okay, Governor this.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm hoping that when election time comes, I'm
Speaker 1: hoping that you know that people are just like enough
Speaker 1: are right? Because what does it take? Because at some point,
Speaker 1: everyone's going to know somebody who has who has been
Speaker 1: a victim of school shooting or something tragic like that,
Speaker 1: you know, whether it's school like in Buffalo, the supermarket,
Speaker 1: a church, at some point, everyone's gonna say my mom,
Speaker 1: my sister, and my cousin, my son, Like what's happening here?
Speaker 1: You know. I was reading the statistic that I guess
Speaker 1: at one point when President Clinton was president, he had
Speaker 1: banned the set you know, the automatic assault rifles, and
Speaker 1: gun violence went down like forty three percent, and then
Speaker 1: it was lifted and gun violence increased by like two
Speaker 1: hundred I think, and forty.
Speaker 2: Three fired right, Like I'm like, why would that expire?
Speaker 2: Like we're gonna get over our issues.
Speaker 1: Yes, And there was a direct correlation, like it's up
Speaker 1: like over two hundred percent as a result. So it's
Speaker 1: like bands do work. Like this whole people are like, oh,
Speaker 1: bands don't work. It's like, let's look at the countries
Speaker 1: where they've enacted those and see how they have almost
Speaker 1: eliminated gun violence. So it's like you have to ask yourself,
Speaker 1: rottle the money, really, really, why won't politicians do anything?
Speaker 1: Because they're on the payroll of those who would benefits
Speaker 1: them to be able to sell these type of assault rifles.
Speaker 1: Did you see the it was It Good run in America?
Speaker 1: That young boy he maybe was like thirteen years old.
Speaker 1: They sent him into a seven to eleven to buy alcohol. Yes,
Speaker 1: they were like, maybe you can't buy alcohol. They send
Speaker 1: him to someplace elf to buy cigarettes. Maybe you can't
Speaker 1: buy cigarettes, all these other places. Then they send him
Speaker 1: to like a gun show to buy a gun. He
Speaker 1: walked out with a gun. No cold medicine. He can't
Speaker 1: buy alcohol. Cigarettes you can't buy But a thirteen year
Speaker 1: old can buy a gun.
Speaker 2: Can't real yep, but here still here's an assault rifle.
Speaker 2: Thank you for mentioning the protests. It's the only way
Speaker 2: I want to get up right now in protests. Like
Speaker 2: I've done a good job compartmentalizing, I think. And this
Speaker 2: past weekend just becoming obsessed with seeing my son smile,
Speaker 2: just obsessed. I would do anything to make her smile.
Speaker 2: And you know what, I broke my body for that
Speaker 2: child this week. And like I've not slept as hard
Speaker 2: as I slept. I went to bed at eight fifteen
Speaker 2: last night, and I slept until seven fifty six this morning.
Speaker 2: Like that is how hard I went, and I think
Speaker 2: I was just pouring all the energy into just like
Speaker 2: what can I do? But there's more than that. You
Speaker 2: mentioned the protesting and about the power of these elected
Speaker 2: officials and who do we want in power? And the
Speaker 2: fact of the matter is that, like, do not get
Speaker 2: it twisted. There's actually legislation already that's been passed in
Speaker 2: the House and has been stymied in the Senate because
Speaker 2: they need more. They need at least sixty votes to
Speaker 2: pass the filibuster, which is what you know Republicans and
Speaker 2: Democrats have used it to. If you don't get more
Speaker 2: than sixty votes, then you can welcome this filibuster, which
Speaker 2: means no one ever stops talking and nothing ever gets passed. Right,
Speaker 2: they need sixty votes, they don't got them. They don't
Speaker 2: have them because they don't have it. And even some
Speaker 2: there's probably a couple of Democrats who are not, you know,
Speaker 2: voting for this. But these are people we've elected into power.
Speaker 2: The midterms are coming up. How are we going to
Speaker 2: change this? Like, I feel so useless being here in
Speaker 2: a progressive state. I'm just like, should I move back
Speaker 2: to Georgia?
Speaker 3: What should I do?
Speaker 2: But if you're in a state where you have senators
Speaker 2: who are opposed and hell, we'll put the link in
Speaker 2: the show notes. You can see exactly who's opposed this law.
Speaker 2: I want you to call them. You have and it
Speaker 2: has to be you.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: I actually listened to was I listening to? It was
Speaker 3: like a podcast and it was.
Speaker 2: Someone who works on Capitol Hill, and she was going
Speaker 2: into detail about the most impactful way to get elected
Speaker 2: officials attention. And she's like, if you're not from if
Speaker 2: you're not in their constituency, like you live where they represent,
Speaker 2: your calls are not going to matter as much. So
Speaker 2: I can't call, Tiffany, can't call if you don't if
Speaker 2: you live in Texas or Georgia or Kansas or wherever
Speaker 2: these places are.
Speaker 3: You have to call. You have to. We have to work.
Speaker 2: We have to save the babies, like we have to.
Speaker 2: And yeah, I'm gonna say babies. Because everyone's all about
Speaker 2: pro life and banning abortion and all that bullshit. We
Speaker 2: don't give a shit about children in this country. Like
Speaker 2: that's the way I feel. So you can't care about children,
Speaker 2: we don't give it. How do we not care about children?
Speaker 2: You're we're going to grow up to be taxpayers and
Speaker 2: business owners, and like, how do we not see what
Speaker 2: happens to a child and who they they've they've passed.
Speaker 1: Do we not think at conception you can't. I'm like,
Speaker 1: that's not literally.
Speaker 2: Can't feed them, we can't beat them.
Speaker 1: Yes, and so but now that when kids become actual kids,
Speaker 1: then it's like a hands off. It's just that's the
Speaker 1: only way people are gonna learn. And it actually does work.
Speaker 1: If you think, to you, so, wow, that doesn't work,
Speaker 1: that's not true. Like my assembly woman, Angela pe McKnight
Speaker 1: and I got together and then it took two years,
Speaker 1: two or three years, but we got the law passed
Speaker 1: in the state of New making financial education mandatory for
Speaker 1: middle school students. Then I called Angela and I was like, Yo,
Speaker 1: these people came to my house and under and praise
Speaker 1: the house. And it's been what like two years now,
Speaker 1: and I'm fortunately I can't be there because I have
Speaker 1: a speaking engagement. But on Saturday, on Thursday, they asked
Speaker 1: me to come testify before the Senate of New Jersey
Speaker 1: to testify to say this is what happened to me.
Speaker 1: So now there's a law or not a law but
Speaker 1: certainly I think I don't know if it's a bill yet,
Speaker 1: but it is. I think it's called the bill. Whatever
Speaker 1: a pre law is to say, hey, here's how one
Speaker 1: that's wrong for appraisals to be based upon race and
Speaker 1: gender and other information that has nothing to do with
Speaker 1: the value of your home. And here's what's going to
Speaker 1: happen for appraisers who do that. So that's happening. You know,
Speaker 1: it takes some time, but to stand up and say no,
Speaker 1: I'm going to reach out to my counsel person, my
Speaker 1: assembly person, my whatever. I mean. You know that's a
Speaker 1: quickly happening. Yes, locally, yep, locally. And I remember distinctly
Speaker 1: to your point, Mandy. She was like, can you come
Speaker 1: and speak, because hearing from a constituent is powerful if
Speaker 1: not write a letter. And I remember when we were
Speaker 1: getting the financial education law passed, she was like, can
Speaker 1: you send an email to all of your New Jersey
Speaker 1: folks in this area to say make a phone call.
Speaker 1: I literally gave them a link. I said, here's a link,
Speaker 1: click this, copy and paste this message if you don't
Speaker 1: know what to write. And so that's what we did
Speaker 1: to kind of to let lawmakers know, like, hey, there
Speaker 1: are people who could vote you in or out who
Speaker 1: care about this law making happen. So I just say
Speaker 1: all that to say that, I know sometimes it's hard
Speaker 1: because it's just like just vote that doesn't seem like enough.
Speaker 1: But I will say that being active in that way
Speaker 1: it does make change happen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, at the local level too, I got really involved
Speaker 2: in my and my school district's board of education election,
Speaker 2: which was just like, what was it a couple of
Speaker 2: weeks ago now, and the pro the pro gun, anti
Speaker 2: vax contingency, they're out there trying to get seats on
Speaker 2: school boards, okay, and thank goodness this particular election. And
Speaker 2: you know, I don't even have a kid in the
Speaker 2: school system yet, but I'm just like, he's going to
Speaker 2: be there, and if he's not there, I know kids
Speaker 2: who are. You know, I know kids in my neighborhood
Speaker 2: who are going to be in the school system. So
Speaker 2: even at that level, voting, you know, helping to pass
Speaker 2: out flyers, being aware of what's happening at your really
Speaker 2: local level, like going to your town hall meetings or
Speaker 2: getting on the list serve and you know, emailing your
Speaker 2: local elected officials. Believe me, they'll respond to those emails.
Speaker 2: At the local level, they will. It really matters. So
Speaker 2: you know, I just want I want to create at
Speaker 2: least a few minutes here to like, you know, can
Speaker 2: we create some like actionable items, you know, for action
Speaker 2: steps that you can take right now so we can
Speaker 2: all just feel a little bit less shitty. And I
Speaker 2: think that's it, you know, figuring out who's opposed this
Speaker 2: particular bill that originated in the House. Figuring out if
Speaker 2: you know, if you have any senators in your state,
Speaker 2: and there's quite a few who have opposed it, and
Speaker 2: how you can get in contact with them and tell
Speaker 2: them that they are not doing you a service that
Speaker 2: as a constituent you care will put those links in
Speaker 2: the show notes. That's one huge thing. And then also
Speaker 2: at your local level, who's on your board of education.
Speaker 2: I I have a friend and she has created a petition.
Speaker 2: Sadly enough, I mean, obviously gun reform is so important,
Speaker 2: but the reality is that, like Tiffany' said, it can
Speaker 2: take it take a long time to see any huge changes.
Speaker 2: We've already seen it. So in the meantime, you know,
Speaker 2: this mom is petitioning her local school board of education
Speaker 2: to better protect the children at schools. So even as
Speaker 2: we're thinking about big picture gun reform, there's still kids
Speaker 2: going to bat like wars every day. It feels like,
Speaker 2: how are we protecting them? Who's you know, this particular
Speaker 2: gun and walk through an unlocked door that was propped
Speaker 2: open by god, this teacher, I don't know how they're
Speaker 2: even coping with the what this has but there was
Speaker 2: no there and they have a school police district, no
Speaker 2: one they're to protect them, So, like, what can they
Speaker 2: do to take safer schools?
Speaker 3: Just don't train?
Speaker 1: It hit two weeks prior about this is what to
Speaker 1: do should this happen?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so what's what looking into your local school district
Speaker 2: and what have they done to create a safer environment
Speaker 2: for schools. If we're gonna let these ar you know,
Speaker 2: fifteen's stay on the streets and let thirteen year olds
Speaker 2: buy up guns at gun shows and all of that,
Speaker 2: what are we going to do to make schools safer?
Speaker 2: And if you're not asking those questions as a concerned citizen,
Speaker 2: you know, I think that that's one of the simple
Speaker 2: things that we can do to make schools a little
Speaker 2: bit safer. And hug your babies and hug the babies
Speaker 2: that aren't your babies, and just appreciate that these lives,
Speaker 2: these fragile children.
Speaker 3: You know, I can't get over it.
Speaker 2: You know. The only thing that gave me comfort when
Speaker 2: I was, you know, in hysterics on Tuesday was I
Speaker 2: called my neighbor, one of my really good friends, who's
Speaker 2: become just, you know, I don't know, just an incredible
Speaker 2: support system for me. And she has a five year
Speaker 2: old who is in schools here, and I called her
Speaker 2: just to say, Hey, I'm on the side of the road,
Speaker 2: I'm losing my shit, you know, I just want to
Speaker 2: talk to you. And the background, her five year old
Speaker 2: son is in the background, and he's like and she's
Speaker 2: explained to him, you know, miss Mandy has some big
Speaker 2: feelings right now. Remember we've talked about he knows gun violence.
Speaker 2: And she's like, remember we've talked about the five years old.
Speaker 2: And I hear him in the background and he's like, oh,
Speaker 2: Miss Mandy, it's going to be okay. I know what
Speaker 2: to do if that happens. I'm going to run really fast.
Speaker 2: And that was it sobered me right up. Five years
Speaker 2: old for this kid, and I'm like, oh, he's why
Speaker 2: I can't be losing it right now, Like these tears
Speaker 2: ain't hurt helping anybody. You know, He's he's who I
Speaker 2: envision of course my own son too, But we need
Speaker 2: to care about kids that aren't our own kids, Like
Speaker 2: we need to care about every child black, white, brown,
Speaker 2: and you know wherever they live, and until we do,
Speaker 2: it's not going to be safe for them. And that's
Speaker 2: just a heartbreaking you know reality.
Speaker 1: Yeah, deep breath and literally that's what doctor Green would
Speaker 1: say right now whenever I'm like, She's like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I want to take a couple of deep breaths because
Speaker 1: it's a heavy load.
Speaker 2: Try to make a baby smile. Every baby I've see him,
Speaker 2: just like I act like a crazy person now, like
Speaker 2: I've become that person to hold babies, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: how can I make your day brighter? Baby? Because you're
Speaker 2: here and you didn't want to be, you didn't ask
Speaker 2: for this, you're here in this country, so I know,
Speaker 2: I know, back to business as usual this week. Wish
Speaker 2: trying not to try not to think too deeply about it,
Speaker 2: but I mean still thinking about it, and still I
Speaker 2: actually had a moment where I was supposed to do
Speaker 2: my first. I had my big, first, big brand partnership
Speaker 2: last week scheduled to create my very excited five figure
Speaker 2: DAL You'd be so proud. And I think I told
Speaker 2: you when I it was the day I was negotiating,
Speaker 2: I told you. And my first post was supposed to
Speaker 2: go up Tuesday and shout out to this brand too,
Speaker 2: because I I didn't post anything. I only posted anything
Speaker 2: I had to do with the shooting. And I did
Speaker 2: get the message the next day like, oh, we noticed
Speaker 2: that this post hadn't gone up, and I was like, listen,
Speaker 2: no one would have cared. It wouldn't have had any impact.
Speaker 2: I would have felt insane for acknowledging. You know, this
Speaker 2: is about business, and it just nothing really mattered. And
Speaker 2: they were super considerate of that decision.
Speaker 3: But yeah, it's it. For me.
Speaker 2: It felt I felt good to be my own to
Speaker 2: be a business owner at that point, at that point,
Speaker 2: be my own boss and be able to say you
Speaker 2: know what, no, this doesn't feel right, I'm not doing
Speaker 2: it now.
Speaker 1: And honestly, that's one of the one of the upsides
Speaker 1: of being a business owner. And because you have the
Speaker 1: agency to say so, you know, obviously there's a lot
Speaker 1: of other things that go on with being a business owner.
Speaker 1: But that is one of the upsides. It's that you
Speaker 1: have the agency to say now you know, like I
Speaker 1: don't think it's a good idea, but also it's great
Speaker 1: because you you obviously chose well with the brand partner,
Speaker 1: because you know, you found a partner that wasn't going
Speaker 1: to put profit over people in that moment, you know.
Speaker 3: So yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2: Shout out to anyone going to work just as much
Speaker 2: as you can. You know, you know your work culture
Speaker 2: better than we do obviously, but I feel like if
Speaker 2: you're going to work, and this is heavy on yourself,
Speaker 2: if you can clear your schedule, clear your schedule, if
Speaker 2: you can tell people why you're upset, tell them why
Speaker 2: you're upset, you know, so that people understand it it's
Speaker 2: not business as usual if we're not ready for it
Speaker 2: to be, and that that is another way that we
Speaker 2: can create some change and making a little bit better.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we had HR, like we we always have like outreach,
Speaker 1: so HR person's like if you need to talk to
Speaker 1: someone coaching, counseling, so we always make that available and
Speaker 1: sometimes we just talk about it, like you know, you
Speaker 1: have your normal chat with whomever you're chatting with that
Speaker 1: day it comes up and we speak about it because
Speaker 1: it's important to be said.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, thank you for the space for me to
Speaker 2: speak about it and for us it together a teeny
Speaker 2: tiny bit better. I do so much breathing it's insane.
Speaker 1: I feel like I don't I don't realize how much
Speaker 1: I hold my breath. You're a breath holder, yes, and
Speaker 1: so like when I'm anxious, because I won't know until
Speaker 1: like I'll be talking to doctor Green and then maybe
Speaker 1: like halfway through our session, I'll do the deep sigh.
Speaker 1: Once she's told me something that like unlocked the thing
Speaker 1: that says, oh, that's true, and then she was like
Speaker 1: she's like, you know, that's the first breath you took.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh snap. She's like yeah, because I
Speaker 1: am a breath holder when I'm anxious or afraid or
Speaker 1: anything going wrong. So learning to breathe is through it
Speaker 1: is something I'm trying to practice, you know, Yeah, so.
Speaker 3: That we'll study it. Literally.
Speaker 2: Science shows that breathing is one of the ways to
Speaker 2: like regulate your nervous system and tell your.
Speaker 3: Body that you're safe.
Speaker 2: And I feel like at a time when everything feels unsafe,
Speaker 2: like breathing or what's the other best thing? A good laugh,
Speaker 2: A good like hearty laugh. We haven't done much of
Speaker 2: that this episode, but squeeze one in. Should we take
Speaker 2: a deep breath break and come back with brown boos
Speaker 2: brown break?
Speaker 4: Okay, brown booze, brown break? Which one are you gonna take?
Speaker 4: Brown booth, brown break? Which one are you gonna take?
Speaker 1: Well, I'm obviously gonna boost because I'm like, chow, we
Speaker 1: got enough.
Speaker 3: I got you. I got a boost for y'all. Don't worry,
Speaker 3: don't worry.
Speaker 2: Okay, you want me go, I can't go first. Mine's
Speaker 2: just a little silly. I'm and very like what we
Speaker 2: need these days. My butterfly extravaganza of a garden, my mastermind.
Speaker 3: It's working.
Speaker 2: I feel like a butterfly mastermind. You guys missed it.
Speaker 2: I don't know a lot. Around this time or late
Speaker 2: summer last year, I became obsessed. I had a caterpillar
Speaker 2: in my in my parsley bush that I had or
Speaker 2: parsley thing that I had planted. I don't even eat
Speaker 2: parsley like that, so I didn't mind I had a
Speaker 2: caterpillar because it was munching on them. Parsley, and I
Speaker 2: found out everything I could about this particular caterpillar was
Speaker 2: a swallowtail butterfly caterpillar, and I watched it become a
Speaker 2: chrysalist and I missed it when it emerged, but it
Speaker 2: was fine. It was beautiful. And so I was like,
Speaker 2: I want to plant the herbs that the butterflies will
Speaker 2: lay their eggs on. There's specific types of herbs, so
Speaker 2: those lottletail butterfly plant eggs and dill, and partially like anyway,
Speaker 2: so I planted a bunch of dill.
Speaker 3: I don't even eat dill like that, but so and
Speaker 3: I found.
Speaker 2: Twelve baby butterfly caterpillars on the dill yesterday, and so
Speaker 2: they're gonna eat up all the dill and they're gonna
Speaker 2: turn into a caterpillar.
Speaker 3: I don't know where they're all gonna live.
Speaker 2: I feel like we might need some crowd control because
Speaker 2: the dill is not that big.
Speaker 3: But I can't wait.
Speaker 2: To watch these little caterpillars become big caterpillars. I'm going
Speaker 2: to go check on them as soon as we wrap
Speaker 2: and get my lunch, and just it gives me so
Speaker 2: much peace watching these little caterpillars. And I've got I said,
Speaker 2: my butterfly mastermind is that I also am growing milkweed flowers,
Speaker 2: which are the only flowers I think monarch butterflies either
Speaker 2: eat or lay their eggs on something to that effect.
Speaker 2: So I want to have the I want to and
Speaker 2: I'm going to be planting ecanesia flowers cone flowers because
Speaker 2: this is what butterflies love to eat. So I want
Speaker 2: to create the perfect little butterfly ecosystem so I can
Speaker 2: just watch all the life stages of the butterfly. And
Speaker 2: I already feel better talking about it. Y'all might think
Speaker 2: I'm a little cuckoo.
Speaker 1: No, I love it.
Speaker 2: But if it's beautiful, so shut up. Brown boost for
Speaker 2: my gardening and my butterfly.
Speaker 1: You know what it brings me a butterfly. This is
Speaker 1: like a book that every preschooler needs if you don't
Speaker 1: have it by Eric Carl The Very Hungry Caterpillar. That's
Speaker 1: like my babe.
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh and real favor too, Yeah,
Speaker 2: that book that butterfly ate cupcakes and plus he was greed.
Speaker 3: Let me real he had a tummy ache.
Speaker 1: But it was such a great book. But I just
Speaker 1: remembered It had me thinking about about that when you
Speaker 1: said the catterpillar was like eating, you know, like.
Speaker 2: They're so hungry and gardeners hate them, but I love them.
Speaker 2: I think you seem to make peace with them. I'm
Speaker 2: not going to eat all that deal anyway. It's funny
Speaker 2: we could.
Speaker 1: Share a little deal. It was a little deal between friends.
Speaker 3: What about you my friends?
Speaker 1: My brown boost it's gonna be I actually spoke with
Speaker 1: one of my friend this weekend and she was she's
Speaker 1: been in business for a long time, about as long
Speaker 1: as me, and she called because she wanted to talk
Speaker 1: about like her cash flow and like she's like, oh,
Speaker 1: what should I do? And I said, you know, I
Speaker 1: was listening to her listening, and then I said, you know,
Speaker 1: can I ask a question that's not necessarily related to
Speaker 1: this technical question you have for me? And she was
Speaker 1: like yeah. I said, well, like what actually do you
Speaker 1: want from your life? Like what are you working toward?
Speaker 1: And she was like, oh, when I want to I
Speaker 1: want to grow a billion dollar business. She's got this
Speaker 1: technology that can honestly potentially grow into a billion dollar
Speaker 1: business because the government wants it. And I'm like, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: not that, but like what do you want for you like,
Speaker 1: and she was like, you know, I want something like
Speaker 1: how I had a few years ago when my business
Speaker 1: was a little smaller. I was making about three hundred
Speaker 1: and fifty thousand dollars in business a year, and I
Speaker 1: was traveling all the time. And she was just like
Speaker 1: I can just hear her light up when she was
Speaker 1: saying it. I said, so, what about the life that
Speaker 1: you're currently pus is appealing because it sounds like you
Speaker 1: haven't taken a vacation in a while. She's gonna happen.
Speaker 1: It sounds like, you know, you actually are making less
Speaker 1: even though you're making more. For those of you who
Speaker 1: are business you know exactly what I mean. Like your
Speaker 1: business is making more, but it's costing you more, so
Speaker 1: you personally are making less. So it sounds like that's
Speaker 1: where you are. She said yeah. And I was just like,
Speaker 1: for what again, So you can have this billion dollar business?
Speaker 1: She was just like, well, here's the thing. I want
Speaker 1: to live the kind of luxury that like that a
Speaker 1: billion dollar business can afford. And I said, are you
Speaker 1: living that now? She said now? I said, well, how
Speaker 1: long have you been in this holding pattern? It's been
Speaker 1: a couple of years, and I said, well, it sounds
Speaker 1: like your life was pretty great before, because what if
Speaker 1: you take this next ten years to indeed grow this
Speaker 1: billion dollar business, get there, only to find out it's
Speaker 1: not as cute as you think, and you will have
Speaker 1: paid for that life with your life, you know. And
Speaker 1: she was just like wow, you know, because I get
Speaker 1: it that there was a stage an entrepreneship that I
Speaker 1: have seen over the last couple of years where it's
Speaker 1: growth by any means necessary. It's bigger, bigger, bigger, more, more
Speaker 1: and more, bigger, bigger, more, more and more and more
Speaker 1: and more, especially in the black and brown entrepreneur community,
Speaker 1: because for the first time we have been able to
Speaker 1: break through and like, you know, look, I've never seen
Speaker 1: this type of wealth grown so quickly in this community
Speaker 1: through entrepreneurship, and so I myself definitely got caught up
Speaker 1: in it as well, because it was, like I remember distinctly,
Speaker 1: one of my mentors she met well, told me that
Speaker 1: if you can get it, go get it, meaning like well, Tiffany,
Speaker 1: if you can do one, can you do five million?
Speaker 1: If you can do five mili, can you do ten?
Speaker 1: If you can do ten, can you do fifty? So
Speaker 1: it's like, well, girl, if it's out there to get
Speaker 1: it and you can get it, go get it. And
Speaker 1: so I subscribed to that because I thought, if it's possible,
Speaker 1: why not reach for the stars? Never really asking myself,
Speaker 1: but do I just like clouds? And so because of
Speaker 1: like losing Darrell, it helped to like reset and to
Speaker 1: really ask myself, actually, how do you actually want your
Speaker 1: life to go. I know that I could grow a
Speaker 1: fifty to one hundred million dollar company. I know I
Speaker 1: can do that. We know that, but is that what
Speaker 1: you actually want? Are you not wearing your target's best
Speaker 1: every day?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 1: Like, are you still not driving your twenty fifteen Lincoln
Speaker 1: MKZ that you bought used anyway and you love that car? Yes?
Speaker 1: Is your house your work is not paid off and
Speaker 1: you actually love your little house? You know? Yes? So
Speaker 1: what is if I you know what I mean, Like,
Speaker 1: what's the point Like if I were to get this
Speaker 1: hundred million dollar business and sacrifice my life, Now, what's
Speaker 1: on the other side of that is isn't it really
Speaker 1: a better life?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: What is all that for? Basically? So we really talked
Speaker 1: about that and she was just like, wow, you know
Speaker 1: one of the things that Dyll taught me is the
Speaker 1: concept of enough, you know, and I'd never known that concept.
Speaker 1: I used to think the concept of enough meant that
Speaker 1: you were not ambitious. I spent to drilling ambitious, and
Speaker 1: that you were settling. Yep. Because I was like, Jerrell,
Speaker 1: you don't want to do this and this and this,
Speaker 1: and he's like, hmmm no. I'm like, but babe, you can,
Speaker 1: like you know, you work for housing, You're super already.
Speaker 1: We can have like apartment buildings. And he was just like,
Speaker 1: I mean maybe another house or two that'd be cool.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I remember it to drive me crazy.
Speaker 1: And finally I was like, that's just him. I'm out
Speaker 1: here doing it meanwhile, stressed overwork, my blood pressure was raising.
Speaker 3: I wanted to benefit, though you were doing it for
Speaker 3: his benefit.
Speaker 1: Too, Yeah, I was, you know, but I'm just thinking
Speaker 1: to myself, like there was a moment where I actually
Speaker 1: had attained the goals I set forth and I zoomed passed.
Speaker 1: It didn't even acknowledge. I was like, I want to
Speaker 1: have a house that's paid off. I don't want any debt.
Speaker 1: I want to pay off my student loan debts. I
Speaker 1: want to be able to vacation or at least I
Speaker 1: have enough money to do. So I want to pay
Speaker 1: off my parents' house. So I had this goal and
Speaker 1: when I tell you, I flew past it, barely nodded
Speaker 1: at it, and kept going. So it's not that I
Speaker 1: regret the hard work, but it's like you did the
Speaker 1: thing that you wanted and now you're still working as
Speaker 1: if you just started. And it was a law of
Speaker 1: diminishing returns where the work was actually bringing me less
Speaker 1: of what I intended, which is freedom and time. And
Speaker 1: so that's what I'm really So I believe in hard work,
Speaker 1: but it's like that it should be tied to something
Speaker 1: versus just work for working sake. And that's the zone
Speaker 1: that I had entered into that I was just working
Speaker 1: for working sake because we had the things we said
Speaker 1: we wanted to have and so yeah, so it was like,
Speaker 1: you know, it was just a really good chat with her.
Speaker 1: And I mentioned this book before Stillness is the Key,
Speaker 1: But my favorite chapter is definitely the chapter called enough.
Speaker 1: I probably listened to that twenty times just to re
Speaker 1: remind myself, like, you know, what does it look like?
Speaker 1: But you have to self identify For some people, enough
Speaker 1: is it's not really the money. Maybe for some people,
Speaker 1: enough is living a certain lifestyle that I'm not, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't subscribe to, but that's fine. So really I
Speaker 1: had to learn this s and self identify what is
Speaker 1: enough and do I have it? And if I do,
Speaker 1: I don't have to put not that I don't work
Speaker 1: at all, because I still do, but I don't have
Speaker 1: to work as if I'm still trying to achieve what
Speaker 1: I set forth anyway, And so I've never been more aligned.
Speaker 1: Like literally, I was going through my my calendar with Rose,
Speaker 1: my adamant today and I was like, girl, why do
Speaker 1: I have like five meeting five things today? No? No,
Speaker 1: no reschedule these two that can wait until the end
Speaker 1: of the month. And you know, like I was looking
Speaker 1: at all these little trips that have coming at my sisters,
Speaker 1: and I are all going to be going to Chicago
Speaker 1: to surprise my sister Karen. Hey, Karen, surprise.
Speaker 3: She's not a listener.
Speaker 1: I don't even know if she's but I'm gonna tell
Speaker 1: her this week.
Speaker 3: Addy read shady like all my families, but.
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to like speak in Chicago, and old Tippy
Speaker 1: would have been like just go and come back. But
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm going to Chicago. Why didn't invite
Speaker 1: all the sisters to come? And so we've all been
Speaker 1: to Chicago, but not all the same time with the kids.
Speaker 1: So it's going to be like we call the Alicia Sisters.
Speaker 1: I know, So I just but I'm just no, because
Speaker 1: my dad doesn't fly as much now that he's in
Speaker 1: his mid eighties, he doesn't fly as much, and I
Speaker 1: don't I know. If I asked my mom, she'll be
Speaker 1: like yeah, and I'm like, well, who's gonna watch daddy?
Speaker 1: She's like, oh fine, I know. So instead, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: see if I can send him later. I'm gonna see
Speaker 1: if he wants to go. But as my dad used
Speaker 1: to travel all the time, but now that he's mid
Speaker 1: eight he just doesn't like to travel as much. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna maybe, you know what I'm gonna see, Maybe I
Speaker 1: put him on a train, you know, because you can
Speaker 1: do like one of those really comfortable like first class
Speaker 1: like you know, and trains are really comfortable. Maybe that
Speaker 1: will be like a better I'm gonna see if that
Speaker 1: because I know my sister would love to see him
Speaker 1: in Chicago. I mean, she's been here obviously a number
Speaker 1: of times. But yeah, I've never been more aligned. I
Speaker 1: spend way more time with family and friends. I speak
Speaker 1: to my mentees all the time, I take daily walks,
Speaker 1: I nap, I'm financially stable, I have therapy. I just
Speaker 1: I've never been more aligned. But I've never worked less.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I do get a little anxious from not working,
Speaker 1: you know, for not working as much. But I learned
Speaker 1: to calm myself down, like I have enough, and it
Speaker 1: feels really awesome. It doesn't mean that there's not growth,
Speaker 1: because growth is still happening, you know, but you know,
Speaker 1: not as a result of my hyper productivity, you know,
Speaker 1: which is not all that productive. And so like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm just learning, Like I think my my brown boost
Speaker 1: is like the concept of enough and learning to lean
Speaker 1: into it.
Speaker 2: I love that stillness is the key. Do you ever,
Speaker 2: even on your walk sometimes I feel like I'm turning.
Speaker 2: I had been turning my walks into like, oh, be productive,
Speaker 2: listen to this, listen to that, and or catch up
Speaker 2: on this that you you know you missed, and or
Speaker 2: listen to the news and whatnot. But I've I've tried
Speaker 2: to get back to just quiet and listening to the
Speaker 2: birds chirping, and you know, my favorite mom and my
Speaker 2: favorite walking ladies and kind of eavesdropping on their conversations
Speaker 2: and what's going on with their lives.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 3: I love that walk with some tea. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh that reminds me really quickly of Girl Treks. Did
Speaker 2: I tell you I ran into the co founder of
Speaker 2: Girls or Vanessa?
Speaker 3: What is she? The founder?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: Yea and Morgan, yeah, the founders. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So they want a webby for their incredible podcast called
Speaker 2: I forget what it's called, but it's a twenty day
Speaker 2: it's twenty one episode podcast series because it's like twenty
Speaker 2: one days walking challenge that they created. And she says, hello,
Speaker 2: it was so funny because we were just talking about
Speaker 2: what we did and she's like, wall, you have a
Speaker 2: podcast with who's Tiffany?
Speaker 3: What about people?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Like wearing the shirt anyway? And I know and and
Speaker 2: I know Girl Trek from you. And so if you
Speaker 2: guys haven't heard of Girl Trek, I mean talk about
Speaker 2: a movement they have gotten probably millions of black women
Speaker 2: across the country walking again, getting in touch with that
Speaker 2: space and stillness and quiet and the you know walking.
Speaker 2: So if you haven't checked them out, We'll do a
Speaker 2: bonus boost for for Girl Trek.
Speaker 1: Girl trek dot org. I believe this is their website.
Speaker 1: It's free. You know, if you're a sister and you
Speaker 1: want to walk, you know, you can meet up with
Speaker 1: other sisters, you can walk alone, but they create all
Speaker 1: these challenges to get you out moving. But secretly, she's like,
Speaker 1: their real mission is to solve for loneliness. And she
Speaker 1: was like, you know that, and black women, it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, if you can walk with someone or meet
Speaker 1: up with someone, it's like, oh, you're not alone. There
Speaker 1: are other women who are just like you who'd love
Speaker 1: to meet you and hang out with you. So it's
Speaker 1: just an awesome, awesome, awesome organization.
Speaker 3: I love them.
Speaker 2: Shout out to Vanessa if you're listening, and all Girl Trekkers.
Speaker 1: YouTube, Morgan what about Me.
Speaker 3: And Morgan?
Speaker 2: Okay, also of Morgan, Well, you know this wasn't Brown
Speaker 2: Ambition with the side of chuckles today. We tried to
Speaker 2: bring you the chuckles home we can, but Brown Ambition
Speaker 2: has always been I feel like a space where we
Speaker 2: get to acknowledge the hard things too and visit them
Speaker 2: and feel a little bit stronger having visited them.
Speaker 1: So thank you friend, thank you, and we'd love to
Speaker 1: hear from you. Guys. You know we have a Twitter,
Speaker 1: a Twitter, the BA podcast, so right, tweet and Instagram.
Speaker 2: I have brand Ambisson Podcast all the places. Just go
Speaker 2: to brownibisionpodcast dot com and you can find all the things,
Speaker 2: all the things, and we will see y'all next time. Yes,
Speaker 2: bye bye, Hey BA fan. We could not do this
Speaker 2: show without your support or the support of our team
Speaker 2: behind the scenes. The Brown Ambission Podcast is produced by
Speaker 2: Cumulus Podcast Network.
Speaker 3: It's edited by.
Speaker 2: The wonderful Emani Crosby and produced by Tanya Bustos. Dennis
Speaker 2: Demplinsky is our in house tech guru, and I am
Speaker 2: Bandy Woodrid Santos your co host, and I will see
Speaker 2: y'all next week.