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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John.

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Speaker 2: We're the ancient two Kase Storytime podcast hosts and we

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Speaker 2: have some ancient wisdom in the stories coming up. If

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Speaker 2: you want to hear the wisdom from two old heads

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Speaker 2: that know more than they know what to do with,

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Speaker 2: you're gonna have to wait for a quick message from

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Speaker 2: our sponsors for the next.

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Speaker 3: My boyfriend keeps using demeaning Game of Thrones quotes with me.

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking of it.

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Speaker 4: Oh, I don't have any quotes ready for this.

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Speaker 1: This is embarrassing.

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Speaker 3: We are both Game of Thrones fans and I love

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Speaker 3: to advanter about it with Paul, who I've been dating

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Speaker 3: for two months. I really like him and he's super sweet. However,

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Speaker 3: his quotes are really becoming really demeaning and feel like

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Speaker 3: he is nagging me. Am I overreacting? Well, this comes

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Speaker 3: from Gemini Georgie, and if you want to submit your story, go.

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Speaker 1: To our slash Okay Storytime Senator.

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Speaker 3: When we were at a friend's party, Paul said towards

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Speaker 3: a group of mainly a few of my friends, Paul

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Speaker 3: says about me Sarah in front of them. We have

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Speaker 3: our differences, Sarah and I. She's braver I'm better looking.

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Speaker 3: This was really embarrassing for me. You don't say, because

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Speaker 3: I think some of them didn't get the reference, and

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Speaker 3: now that they think the guy I'm dating doesn't think

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Speaker 3: I'm that good looking. But on another occasion, we were

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Speaker 3: making out and Paul whispered in my ear in a

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Speaker 3: silly voice, you know this is gonna be so great.

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Speaker 3: You have less honor than a back alley or I

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Speaker 3: got really angry because I didn't recognize that it was

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Speaker 3: a quote from Game of Thrones.

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Speaker 1: Bro at least picked the big ones. So I jumped up.

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Speaker 3: From the couch and he said, chill out, it's a

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Speaker 3: Game of Thrones quote from such and such episode. I

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Speaker 3: told him that I was really upset and I'm leaving

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Speaker 3: his house now, and he just replied with I'm Sansus

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Speaker 3: Stark of Winterfill.

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Speaker 1: This is my home and you can't frighten me. There's

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Speaker 1: no freaking way. But that was it.

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Speaker 3: It's like he had no remorse for what he had

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Speaker 3: done and just thinks upsetting me is funny. I haven't

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Speaker 3: answered his text or call since it has been two days.

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Speaker 3: Am I overreacting? And we got some relevant comments Jill

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Speaker 3: bo Wagons says, love it great.

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Speaker 1: I told him the crossover.

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Speaker 3: I told him that I was really upset and are

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Speaker 3: leaving the house now, and he just applied with I'm

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Speaker 3: Sansus Stark of Winterfel. This is my home and you

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Speaker 3: can't frighten me. Joking references are one thing, but you

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Speaker 3: don't have to be the three Hyde raven to see

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Speaker 3: that he's.

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Speaker 5: Such a nerdy start.

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Speaker 1: So much and I watched the series.

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Speaker 3: I'm prepared now that your girlfriend is legitimately upset and

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Speaker 3: about to leave your house, it's time to knock get

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Speaker 3: the f off and actually listen to her.

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Speaker 1: OPI replies to that, I agree.

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Speaker 3: After I left, he texted saying, look, Love, it's just

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Speaker 3: my sense of humor. Do you really want to be

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Speaker 3: with a guy who has no personality and watches craft

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Speaker 3: TV shows. He then sent another text today saying much offended,

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Speaker 3: followed straight away with okay, I'm sorry. I don't even

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Speaker 3: know what to think about these texts. Jana nine to

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Speaker 3: nine says Ariya Stark would tell you this guy belongs

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Speaker 3: on a list of stupid people to date.

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Speaker 6: Oh yeah, and another list.

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Speaker 3: Santa Stark agrees and would like to know if you'd

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Speaker 3: care to borrow a dog at a quick Lee says

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Speaker 3: he sounds like he should wear a fedora to be honest,

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Speaker 3: which Opi replies, he owns a foot but I've never

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Speaker 3: seen him wear it.

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Speaker 1: Luckily, Miss bullet dang.

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Speaker 3: Sianella says, oh, come on, haven't we reached peak loser

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Speaker 3: status yet? Sometimes we don't even know why someone is single,

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Speaker 3: and other times we know exactly why, and we have

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Speaker 3: an update. A friend of Paul saw the post on

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Speaker 3: our Slash Relationships.

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Speaker 1: Homepage and has sent it to him.

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Speaker 3: It turns out I no longer need to worry about

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Speaker 3: if I overreacted because I've been dumped d.

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Speaker 1: I might leave this up.

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Speaker 3: For a bit longer just to annoy him off now,

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Speaker 3: seeing as he has blocked me. Anyways, He Facebook messaged

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Speaker 3: me and said this, So, a friend just lead me

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Speaker 3: to a post on Reddit's relationship advice page that you

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Speaker 3: wrote about. I get that you were upset by the

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Speaker 3: joke that I made, but you've handled this whole situation terribly.

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Speaker 3: I am disgusted that was dating someone who would ridicule

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Speaker 3: me and let three thousand people bully me online, blocking

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Speaker 3: you forever now, Sorry that I upset you with my jokes,

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Speaker 3: not sorry about your insecurities that you're gonna have to

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Speaker 3: live through.

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Speaker 4: All right, that's a little extra dude, although I will

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Speaker 4: say he did cook when he was like, how are

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Speaker 4: you gonna let three thousand strangers bully me online?

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Speaker 3: Infra says that's absolutely hilarious. I wouldn't even be mad anymore.

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Speaker 3: That guy has given you what's likely to be the

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Speaker 3: single funniest ex boyfriend story you'll ever get. I think

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Speaker 3: you won the breakup before it even happened. I work hard.

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Speaker 1: Seven says yes.

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Speaker 3: Most of the time, awkward breakups take a few months

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Speaker 3: to age into funny anecdotes. Not this one, though, and

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Speaker 3: then prison Lamb Shanks says, your ex is a real

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Speaker 3: Walder Fray. Paul has texted me now saying that he

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Speaker 3: will unblock me on Facebook and won't block my number

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Speaker 3: if I stop entertaining the post about him and remove it.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I know where this is going because

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Speaker 3: we're only halfway through.

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Speaker 1: He says.

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Speaker 3: He does think that we should still cool it off

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Speaker 3: for a while, but can we keep in touch if

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Speaker 3: we resolve this? Sa Melvin comments from deleted please reply

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Speaker 3: to everything he texts you with Game of Thrones quotes. Now, yes,

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Speaker 3: Luckykelt says, I love this. When he asks you to

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Speaker 3: take it down.

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Speaker 1: Say not today.

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Speaker 3: Bobo seventy five says, you know nothing, a hole, Paul,

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Speaker 3: And then we have updates. So I can't post this

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Speaker 3: as an update because Reddit lock the original post.

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Speaker 1: I think maybe because of too many comments.

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Speaker 3: Fast forward one month later and I see Paul on

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Speaker 3: Tinder and super like him as a joke. He matched

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Speaker 3: me back and actually messaged me saying something really funny

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Speaker 3: about all that had happened. We joked in a good

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Speaker 3: natured way about while went down, which eventually led to

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Speaker 3: us hashing things out and we got back together, and

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Speaker 3: then not long after that officially became boyfriend and girlfriends.

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Speaker 3: The whole reddit post s aga became a quirky story,

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Speaker 3: one we mostly keep to ourselves, and even a running

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Speaker 3: joke between the two of us.

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Speaker 1: Then he definitely lightened up to it.

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Speaker 3: I think the experience of it made him take himself

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Speaker 3: a lot less seriously and learned to see the funny

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Speaker 3: side of things.

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Speaker 1: At better times. No, Paul didn't make any Game of

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Speaker 1: Thrones jokes again.

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Speaker 4: Okay, so I am now extra confused because can you

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Speaker 4: go back a little bit.

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Speaker 1: What did that just say? It said, what are you No,

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Speaker 1: it's my brain?

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Speaker 6: It was that he he oh, it was that.

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Speaker 4: He just now he takes himself less seriously, which is

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Speaker 4: like if you were really taking yourself seriously as.

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Speaker 1: Like, I'm serious game my Thrones fan, it's like, it's

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Speaker 1: it's pretty cringe. It's pretty cringe.

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Speaker 3: He moved into my place at the beginning of December

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Speaker 3: when his lease ran out, and things were great, but

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Speaker 3: only for a.

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Speaker 1: Week okay, no kids.

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Speaker 3: Initially we split the cost of everything evenly. However, Paul

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Speaker 3: majorly upped his coffee habits due to an increased workload

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Speaker 3: trying to make sales.

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Speaker 1: This is crazy, he's a salesman.

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Speaker 7: Ugh.

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Speaker 3: But he even started drinking as much on the weekend.

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Speaker 3: Ninety percent of a time. Around the apartment, he always

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Speaker 3: had a cup of tea or coffee in his hand.

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Speaker 3: It never made him jittery or anything, but it did

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Speaker 3: make him stay up a couple of hours later each night,

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Speaker 3: which was very disruptive to our normal nighttime routine. Also,

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Speaker 3: it wasn't cheap coffee he was drinking. Plus he would

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Speaker 3: also get two to go coffees every day or so,

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Speaker 3: he claimed, as well as buying himself lunch at work

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Speaker 3: every weekday.

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Speaker 1: He apparently had.

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Speaker 3: No money to contribute to groceries for the past month

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Speaker 3: from coffee.

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Speaker 4: This is the same lie, right, This is the same

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Speaker 4: time warp into another's story.

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Speaker 1: No, we're here.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, this guy sucks. Dude, bro, I feel stupid for

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Speaker 4: even trying. Did it thend this guy for a split second.

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Speaker 3: Now he apparently had no money to contribute to groceries

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Speaker 3: for the past month, yet he's buying to go coffees

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Speaker 3: and lunch every weekday at work, as well as a

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Speaker 3: relatively expensive type of coffee to be drinking at home.

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Speaker 3: But he said that if we are in this for

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Speaker 3: the long term, I needed to understand that his job

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Speaker 3: is stressful at this time of year, and so I

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Speaker 3: felt bad to ask him to stop buying these things

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Speaker 3: at work around this time of year. So I paid

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Speaker 3: for all of the groceries myself. However, the worst part

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Speaker 3: of the problem came when we went to my family

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Speaker 3: house for Christmas. He bought his own stupid brand of

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Speaker 3: coffee with him to use. We were only there for

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Speaker 3: two days, and so it was really awkward when we

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Speaker 3: all had coffee slash cocoa, and he would decline my

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Speaker 3: family's offer of coffee and insisted on making his own

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Speaker 3: separate one.

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Speaker 1: That's also cringe.

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Speaker 3: It's cringe, like, I mean, you don't have to.

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Speaker 1: I'm better than anything. It's like, I don't worry.

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Speaker 6: Oh, I brought my own. Your trash is beneath me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean if he he's just so cringe.

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Speaker 1: Man, he's just so cringe.

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Speaker 3: We got into a huge fight later over this, and

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Speaker 3: I told him that he was being uptight and rude,

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Speaker 3: and he told me I was looking for issues in

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Speaker 3: him and that no one is perfect.

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Speaker 1: By the way, We're not perfect. You're not perfect. But

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Speaker 1: we have a.

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Speaker 3: Perfect amount of content for you to just absolutely consume

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Speaker 3: yourself with. On Spotify, on Apple, podcasts, wherever you listen

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Speaker 3: to podcasts, search, okay, storytime anywhere, there endless amounts of

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Speaker 3: content longer than the wall. So, speaking of things ending,

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Speaker 3: the story is finally coming to an end here.

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Speaker 7: You know what this guy sounds like. He sounds like

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Speaker 7: the stereotypical, like ipa hipster. You know, he's like, oh

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Speaker 7: you know, I think yeah, Like.

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Speaker 4: Yes, he thinks he's the coolest guy in the room

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Speaker 4: at all times. Yeah, and he, I guess thinks he

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Speaker 4: could get away with saying anything he wants as long

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Speaker 4: as it's the Game of Thrones.

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Speaker 7: Quote.

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Speaker 1: Come on, I watched elevated television.

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Speaker 3: Also, Game of Thrones is like the most popular television

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Speaker 3: show of all time. So you freaking suck as a

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Speaker 3: hipster too.

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Speaker 1: It's true. Come on, bro, what do we think about

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Speaker 1: the start getting back to it? Just break up with him,

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Speaker 1: just break out. What are you saying?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but you're not compatible, especially given you know, it's

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Speaker 4: like the cringey behavior is one thing, but then like

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Speaker 4: the stuff with like he's spending all the money on

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Speaker 4: coffee and not.

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Speaker 1: Contributing to the grocery. He's crazy. This guy's a child,

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Speaker 1: a child, you know what? His only nutrients was coffee.

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Speaker 1: It's really so.

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Speaker 4: On Saturday he broke up with me. Well you know

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Speaker 4: what they say, Wait, why did we work with you?

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Speaker 5: Wait?

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Speaker 1: Wait you broke up with him? Or he broke up? Nope, nope, no,

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Speaker 1: he broke up with her again. Oh pee, what do

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Speaker 1: you but what are you doing?

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Speaker 3: He told me that he started to emotionally shut down

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Speaker 3: after the fight. We had a Christmas and he wanted

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Speaker 3: to end things and that we don't realistically have enough

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Speaker 3: things in common. You don't watch good enough TV, babe.

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Speaker 6: He said, I did warn you not to trust me.

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Speaker 3: He was able to move out that day because he

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Speaker 3: doesn't have that many blockings subtle this, and we only

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Speaker 3: kept a couple of pieces of his furniture when he

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Speaker 3: moved in. I'm completely heartbroken and haven't gone into work yet,

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Speaker 3: and I feel taken advantage of. I don't understand how

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Speaker 3: someone could change their opinion of me so drastically after

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Speaker 3: one little fight. Obviously it's over, I know it is,

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Speaker 3: but it doesn't make it hurt less.

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Speaker 1: And it just seems to be so out of the blue.

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Speaker 3: You know what I'm gonna say it, Ope, you might

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Speaker 3: need to do a little self work, sister, a.

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Speaker 7: Little bit like twice he got he got to end

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Speaker 7: it twice. He should have never been the one.

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Speaker 3: And she's like, I'm blindsided. I'm heartbroken. Like Bro showed you,

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Speaker 3: I guarantee you. This guy was like, Opie, your your

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Speaker 3: watch has ended?

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Speaker 6: Yes yes, yes, yeah, yeah yes.

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Speaker 4: No it's like spending money on expensive coffee because it's

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Speaker 4: your sales crunch time and like kno, no, this guy's

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Speaker 4: a low value man.

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Speaker 6: Ooh, and you do not keep him around.

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Speaker 1: It's low value.

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Speaker 5: Oo.

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Speaker 3: I agree, I agree, I agree, true, And that's it.

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Speaker 3: That's all we got there. My boyfriend got upset I

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Speaker 3: didn't make him a plate. I'm so sick of his

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Speaker 3: childish attitude.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, but I'm hungry.

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Speaker 8: Where's my food? A low hungry boy man? My baby way?

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Speaker 1: This is literally what I deal with all day.

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Speaker 7: God, do you understand how hard it is to maintain

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Speaker 7: these two see me?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 8: It takes is one place.

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Speaker 3: So by thirty four male boyfriend is upset with me

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Speaker 3: thirty two female because I didn't make his plate and

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Speaker 3: serve it to him during Christmas.

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Speaker 1: Where do I go from here?

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Speaker 3: Our five year anniversary is a couple of weeks from now,

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Speaker 3: and we have a two year old.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know anything was wrong.

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Speaker 3: Until we started the five hour drive home after spending

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Speaker 3: the holidays with the family.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Goblin cock damn.

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Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your story like mister Goblin,

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Speaker 3: good dogs, I shoka a story time and send him in.

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Speaker 1: This is the Goblins.

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Speaker 3: So he was pretty much quiet the hallway and snapped

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Speaker 3: at me when I asked why he was following too

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Speaker 3: closely behind a vehicle and also driving too fast. As

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Speaker 3: soon as we got home, he leaves without a word

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Speaker 3: for a couple of hours, gets back and says he

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Speaker 3: went to the mall to buy a couple more gifts

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Speaker 3: and shoes for himself. I'm annoyed because I've been telling

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Speaker 3: him for weeks to pick out shoes and I will

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Speaker 3: buy them for his upcoming birthday.

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Speaker 1: He's really hard to shop for and picky about his clothes.

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Speaker 3: So I asked him why he bought himself with the

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Speaker 3: shoes when I wanted to buy him some as a gift.

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Speaker 3: He says, in a rude tone, send me one hundred

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Speaker 3: dollars then, because that's how much they were. I finally

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00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,040
Speaker 3: asked him what his problem was, and he was upset

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Speaker 3: that I didn't make him a plate. I spent over

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Speaker 3: four hours cooking for my whole family and also cooked

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Speaker 3: for Christmas Eve the day before.

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Speaker 1: I was tired.

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Speaker 3: The holidays are exhausting. I couldn't believe he was upset

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Speaker 3: about that. He seemed annoyed on Boxing Day, day after Christmas,

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Speaker 3: because we ordered pizza and I made a play for

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Speaker 3: my stepfather, who uses a cane. I told him to

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Speaker 3: make himself a plate, and he just sat there.

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Speaker 1: Dude, how ain't you being your thirties acting?

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Speaker 7: Oh?

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Speaker 1: This is god, this is absurd.

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Speaker 3: He also said I barely looked at him during our visit,

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Speaker 3: and if I did, I didn't smile or look at

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Speaker 3: him lovingly.

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Speaker 1: Like I said, I was tired.

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Speaker 3: My two year old was also extra clingy, so I

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00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:23,160
Speaker 3: fell over stimulated and was just trying to be present

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Speaker 3: with my family. Lastly, he was mad because I didn't

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Speaker 3: go sledding with him and my family the final nail

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Speaker 3: in the coffin. I stayed back with my sister and

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Speaker 3: baby Niice, and we watched a rom com Unacceptable Jail.

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Speaker 3: I wanted to relax and have some me time, and

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Speaker 3: he was upset about that, saying I just wanted to

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Speaker 3: go on my phone, which I did.

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Speaker 1: I got to watch tiktoks and just scroll for a bit.

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Speaker 3: Anyways, after we got home and had this conversation, I

329
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,760
Speaker 3: left upset and went to have dinner by myself while

330
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Speaker 3: he took our child for a walk. As soon as

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Speaker 3: I got home, he left again and didn't come back.

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Speaker 1: For four hours. WHOA.

333
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,160
Speaker 3: We have barely spoken and I don't want to be

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00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:57,440
Speaker 3: the one to sit down and start this conversation to

335
00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,800
Speaker 3: coddle him and make him feel better. I'm so sick

336
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:01,920
Speaker 3: of this. Where do I go from here? And we

337
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,360
Speaker 3: have some comments from Chicken Scratch Coffee coming up, but

338
00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:07,320
Speaker 3: just real quick, Dakota like, okay, the start off as

339
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:09,640
Speaker 3: a plate, but this became now more than we can chew.

340
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:10,400
Speaker 1: Guys, really quick.

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00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,960
Speaker 4: I have to now defend myself because I was joking.

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00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,800
Speaker 4: I mean, yes, studding is fun. She cooked all day

343
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:16,920
Speaker 4: and just wanted to chill.

344
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,200
Speaker 6: It's fine. I'm being facetious.

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00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:19,600
Speaker 1: Dude.

346
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,960
Speaker 3: Comments from Chicken Scratch Coffee, Why are you allowing this

347
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,360
Speaker 3: toxic relationship to continue?

348
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:25,080
Speaker 1: He's a grown adult. He can get his own plate.

349
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:28,600
Speaker 3: Opie says, it's my first long term relationship, my first love.

350
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:31,680
Speaker 3: I asked myself this question as well. Low self esteem perhaps,

351
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:34,040
Speaker 3: but I've just started therapy again, so I'm hoping things

352
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,000
Speaker 3: will get better for my mental health. Lady Klepsadraw says,

353
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,920
Speaker 3: sounds like you are a servant to him, not a partner,

354
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:43,440
Speaker 3: considering his age. This most likely comes from deeply rooted

355
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:47,160
Speaker 3: misogyny and it won't change. Watch out for isolation attempts.

356
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:49,920
Speaker 3: The way he didn't like you taking some me time

357
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:52,600
Speaker 3: with your family but wanted you to be with him

358
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,479
Speaker 3: and his family instead doesn't bode well. Do not prioritize

359
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,360
Speaker 3: his family over yours is my advice.

360
00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:58,200
Speaker 1: You don't want to end.

361
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:01,720
Speaker 3: Up isolated from your closest people. They controlling, sexist man,

362
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:04,960
Speaker 3: and it seems like you may end up exactly there.

363
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:09,080
Speaker 3: Lazy B ninety four says this this, this be careful appie.

364
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,880
Speaker 3: His behavior is so outrageous it shouldn't be acceptable. He

365
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,040
Speaker 3: was angry that you weren't at his beck and call

366
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:17,040
Speaker 3: at all times as the woman, and this only gets worse.

367
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:20,240
Speaker 3: Please dump his a You will do so much better

368
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:23,200
Speaker 3: without him, she says, you're right, gets trauma from his mother.

369
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,800
Speaker 3: And I feel like he hates me sometimes when all

370
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,160
Speaker 3: I do is work, cook for my family, take care

371
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,760
Speaker 3: of our child, paying for daycare and doing drop offs

372
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:33,880
Speaker 3: and pickups, and stay home, he always finds something to

373
00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:35,960
Speaker 3: be mad about with me. If he isn't being jealous,

374
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,960
Speaker 3: then he's mad that I don't clean enough or want

375
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:40,880
Speaker 3: some alone time. And the judgment on op was not

376
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:45,160
Speaker 3: the a hole go figure. So we have this update

377
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,080
Speaker 3: it might be our final update, but we got half

378
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:47,800
Speaker 3: the story left.

379
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,240
Speaker 1: What do we we We all know that Opie should leave.

380
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:50,520
Speaker 9: Yeah.

381
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's gonna be really hard though, because this is

382
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:53,840
Speaker 4: like a first love type scenario.

383
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, the kid, it'll be tough, but we've seen we've

384
00:15:56,360 --> 00:16:00,000
Speaker 3: seen tougher. What do you how do you suggest Opie leaves?

385
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,480
Speaker 5: Make him a plate of food and drop it in

386
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:02,000
Speaker 5: front of him.

387
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:05,120
Speaker 1: Oh and then he's eating, He's like, what's this? Unfolds

388
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:07,640
Speaker 1: it divorce papers? Do they have? They have a kid together? Yes,

389
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:08,200
Speaker 1: two year old?

390
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:11,240
Speaker 4: Okay, you got to try and go to therapy first,

391
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,640
Speaker 4: I think, yeah, yeah, I think there's nothing like here

392
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,720
Speaker 4: that's like so terrible that it's like, oh, like leave immediately.

393
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,200
Speaker 4: It's just like, this is clearly not something that you'd

394
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:22,920
Speaker 4: want to establish a long term, serious relationship with if

395
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,720
Speaker 4: you this behavior was there earlier.

396
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:25,080
Speaker 1: In the relationship.

397
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,400
Speaker 4: But now you guys have a kid, it's like you

398
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:27,880
Speaker 4: got to try to figure out at least how to

399
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:28,480
Speaker 4: like community.

400
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:30,440
Speaker 6: I feel like there's just no communication here at all, like.

401
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:33,600
Speaker 3: An absolute dumb But I stayed. I cried my eyes

402
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,320
Speaker 3: out and told him how I felt, and he didn't

403
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,240
Speaker 3: have anything to say just that he's sorry and he

404
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,160
Speaker 3: will do better. We were okay for a week. Today

405
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:43,600
Speaker 3: is our five year anniversary. Well it would have been.

406
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:47,200
Speaker 3: He broke up with me today. Oh I had to

407
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,760
Speaker 3: stay home all week with our child because of a

408
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,960
Speaker 3: parasite and I'm waiting on tests. Oh my god, jeez,

409
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:57,320
Speaker 3: that week for ape parasite test. Apparently on Thursday, I

410
00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,840
Speaker 3: got sick and I'm still sick with what feels like

411
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,760
Speaker 3: a chest cold slash infection. The morning of our anniversary,

412
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,960
Speaker 3: he goes rock climbing. I don't know what time he left,

413
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,159
Speaker 3: but he was gone until noon. I was pissed, and

414
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,199
Speaker 3: I texted him that would have been nice to have

415
00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:11,920
Speaker 3: help while I rested. I canceled the reservations. I made

416
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:13,679
Speaker 3: it to the restaurant that we met at. When I

417
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:16,119
Speaker 3: told him this, he ripped up the card he got me,

418
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:18,960
Speaker 3: told me he's going to stay elsewhere and we're done.

419
00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:24,440
Speaker 3: Oh broken, even broken, even.

420
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,000
Speaker 1: Oh god, this guy's so much worse than I thought

421
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:28,480
Speaker 1: he was going to be.

422
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:32,160
Speaker 3: He said, I am miserable and just want to be sad,

423
00:17:32,359 --> 00:17:34,879
Speaker 3: and that I make him pay with all the ways

424
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,320
Speaker 3: my dad failed me. My father could care less about

425
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,960
Speaker 3: me and I do have daddy issues. Loll By the way,

426
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,320
Speaker 3: if you have daddy issues, I'm not saying I can

427
00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:44,240
Speaker 3: solve it. But what I am saying is we have

428
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:49,360
Speaker 3: thousands of hours of catalog content that are of stories

429
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:52,080
Speaker 3: that might be of service to you. That's on Spotify,

430
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:54,800
Speaker 3: Apple podcasts, wherever you listen to podcasts. You search, Okay,

431
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,120
Speaker 3: story time and you got all the episodes, were full episodes.

432
00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:00,760
Speaker 3: It's stories just like this. But big daddy, d oh yeah, yeah,

433
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:01,960
Speaker 3: I gotta talk to you my friend.

434
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:02,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, go ahead.

435
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:04,919
Speaker 3: So we've we've got the divorce. We actually have a

436
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,480
Speaker 3: good bit of the story left. Where do we go

437
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:06,840
Speaker 3: from here?

438
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:08,240
Speaker 1: Up?

439
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:09,800
Speaker 6: I guess like you can't.

440
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,679
Speaker 1: Really this was bad, right, Okay.

441
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:15,040
Speaker 4: I did see some comments that were like, you know,

442
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:18,560
Speaker 4: maybe it's even worse for the kids if they stay together,

443
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,280
Speaker 4: which like after this reaction, I'm like, yeah, maybe this

444
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,840
Speaker 4: shouldn't This guy shouldn't be raising anybody. I don't think, well,

445
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,560
Speaker 4: like because he does sound like people were like, oh ideally,

446
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,760
Speaker 4: and like all I said, I was like, is he though,

447
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,480
Speaker 4: And it's like the way that he just broke up

448
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:34,760
Speaker 4: with op because he could probably sense that that was

449
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:35,840
Speaker 4: gonna come from her side.

450
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeh feels like that. That's true.

451
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,520
Speaker 3: I don't think I'm being unreasonable for expecting him to

452
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,040
Speaker 3: spend the whole day or coming back early from climbing.

453
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,720
Speaker 3: I didn't even get a good morning, happy anniversary text,

454
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,600
Speaker 3: but it is what it is. Anyways, y'all were right.

455
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,080
Speaker 3: I knew it in my heart, but didn't want to

456
00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:53,120
Speaker 3: believe it. There's no coming back from this, but I'm okay.

457
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,560
Speaker 3: Question Mark, thank you for letting me vent and for

458
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,920
Speaker 3: all your advice. It's nice to come back and read

459
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,640
Speaker 3: all the positive support. Speaking of which, a comment from

460
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,080
Speaker 3: mb Minx, who says, just hold your head high and

461
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:06,160
Speaker 3: move forward. When he changes his mind, hold firm, talk

462
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,560
Speaker 3: to her lawyer about child support, et cetera, et cetera.

463
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:09,399
Speaker 1: You can do this.

464
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:12,320
Speaker 3: You've seen how he is now you don't let yourself

465
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,239
Speaker 3: unsee it. I believe in you, and you deserve all

466
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:18,199
Speaker 3: good things. Get your to Giff says, he sounds like.

467
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,680
Speaker 1: A man child now he's gone.

468
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:23,119
Speaker 3: I almost guarantee you'll start thriving that which very quickly.

469
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:24,359
Speaker 1: I do think that is another point.

470
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,560
Speaker 3: Like you said earlier, there's only up from here, and

471
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,800
Speaker 3: I think op he will actually realize that this like

472
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 3: dark cloud is going to be lifted from her and

473
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:34,159
Speaker 3: now she can like live her life, yeah, without like

474
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,640
Speaker 3: constantly she's probably constantly worried about like, oh, he's gonna

475
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:37,639
Speaker 3: be mad at me for something.

476
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, and now And it was like the first the

477
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:41,800
Speaker 4: first the first love.

478
00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:45,280
Speaker 1: First love is blinding. It's tough, man, and it's rough.

479
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:45,720
Speaker 1: It's tough.

480
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,119
Speaker 3: It's a whole show with him not around, putting you down,

481
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,879
Speaker 3: draining your energy and self esteem. You'll start noticing a difference.

482
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,520
Speaker 3: Opie says, thank you. Just got to get over the

483
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,000
Speaker 3: sad part. I was the best version of myself when

484
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,520
Speaker 3: I met him. I've lost myself in this relationship, but

485
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,920
Speaker 3: I feel ready to move forward. Bef Official Knee sixty

486
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,239
Speaker 3: seven ninety seven says, he's right on one thing, and

487
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,320
Speaker 3: that has to do with your disappointment with your father.

488
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,760
Speaker 3: If we have a neglectful or abusive father, we tend

489
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:12,159
Speaker 3: to see those wonderful things about a new man as familiar,

490
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,280
Speaker 3: the things that give us happiness in childhood. But in reality,

491
00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:17,879
Speaker 3: it is our little child's heart yearning for the attention

492
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,439
Speaker 3: and possibly the love and protection of our father. The

493
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,760
Speaker 3: promise is empty and in the fact that the new

494
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,280
Speaker 3: guy is enamored with you based on the same criteria.

495
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,359
Speaker 3: If you had known this about each other and still

496
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,920
Speaker 3: wanted to go ahead, you could have gone to couples counseling.

497
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,560
Speaker 3: I hope you will get some therapy for codependency before

498
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,880
Speaker 3: you get into another relationship, because if you don't, your

499
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,639
Speaker 3: little boy will continue to suffer. If you still have

500
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,080
Speaker 3: unresolved issues with their father, now is probably the best

501
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,720
Speaker 3: time for you to work through those things. If the

502
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:44,240
Speaker 3: problems with your dad is a mouse related things, you

503
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:47,160
Speaker 3: would want to find the best and strongest support at

504
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:50,160
Speaker 3: alan On, which is a family program connected to aa

505
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:54,280
Speaker 3: Uziak's Anonymous which is all free and the best dream

506
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,520
Speaker 3: that you can get to read Codependent no More and

507
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,600
Speaker 3: getting the life you want. Op responds to that my

508
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:01,360
Speaker 3: father chose a horrible woman as a step mom for us.

509
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,520
Speaker 3: He had a new family and just doesn't care to

510
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:06,160
Speaker 3: be an active father or grandfather to his previous kids.

511
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,000
Speaker 3: I've told my ex how all I ever wanted for

512
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,480
Speaker 3: my dad was to try harder to be present in

513
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,840
Speaker 3: our lives, to be a positive mail figure in my life.

514
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:16,760
Speaker 3: And I've said maybe my expectations of my ex were

515
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,040
Speaker 3: too high, so which makes sense. It's like, all right,

516
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:22,280
Speaker 3: all if I don't get the fatherly affirmation from from dad,

517
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:24,880
Speaker 3: try to get it from husband, which could be not great.

518
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,719
Speaker 1: Daddy issues and edny issues.

519
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,280
Speaker 3: But all I asked for was care and consideration in

520
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:35,199
Speaker 3: the relationship and communication. And I'm gonna go ahead and

521
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:36,920
Speaker 3: close out the story.

522
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 1: There. Final thoughts to Koda.

523
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 4: Don't let the sunk cost fallacy keep you in a

524
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:43,040
Speaker 4: bad relationship like this for longer.

525
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,919
Speaker 3: Then you need to Yeah, keep on truck and go

526
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,280
Speaker 3: to and you know what, blessing in disguise, And I

527
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,919
Speaker 3: think it's gonna be up, like like you said, up

528
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 3: from here. My boyfriend keeps breaking up with me over

529
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:58,760
Speaker 3: a Facebook relationship. Status's literally the most important aspect of

530
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:02,920
Speaker 3: any relationship. So we've been together on and off at

531
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,120
Speaker 3: his whim for almost a year now. The last time

532
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,280
Speaker 3: we broke up, I had decided to make a Facebook

533
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 3: account so I could get in touch with old friends

534
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,439
Speaker 3: and be back in the loop. I see you in

535
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:12,840
Speaker 3: the comments. If you know what it's about to happen.

536
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,359
Speaker 3: By the way, it comes from Hampster neither a ninety

537
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:16,760
Speaker 3: three OA And if you want to send in your

538
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 3: store and go to our stush Okay story time. So

539
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 3: it wasn't until July that I asked him why he

540
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 3: never posted photos of us on his Facebook. He got

541
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:24,439
Speaker 3: a little annoyed at me for even asking, but he

542
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:26,960
Speaker 3: put me in his profile picture. A month later, we

543
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 3: argued over something ridiculous and.

544
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 1: He told me to leave, and I wouldn't.

545
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,760
Speaker 3: We lived together, and at the time we were far

546
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 3: far from home and have the trailer with us while

547
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,200
Speaker 3: he was working and I was taking care of things

548
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,240
Speaker 3: waiting for him to come home and hang out with me.

549
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 3: He wanted to come home to dinner that I made

550
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:41,880
Speaker 3: him and have.

551
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:43,800
Speaker 1: The trailer clean. I did those things for him, and

552
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 1: then he started asking for space.

553
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:48,440
Speaker 3: I started leaving fifteen minutes before he got home, granted

554
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:50,919
Speaker 3: I'd have dinner on the stove and the place spotless

555
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:52,639
Speaker 3: for his arrival, for him to get mad at me

556
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:55,200
Speaker 3: and accuse me of Lord knows what because I wasn't

557
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 3: home when he got there. I felt crappy that he

558
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:58,880
Speaker 3: won a space for me as soon as he got home,

559
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,800
Speaker 3: but giving him space didn't make him happy. Every time

560
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 3: we came into a disagreement, usually it was me not

561
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 3: feeling wanted or validated, or trying to find resolutions to

562
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 3: why he's not happy and why I can't be the

563
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,200
Speaker 3: one to make him happy, even though I know when

564
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,960
Speaker 3: there wasn't a cloud of his two faced lying friends

565
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:17,919
Speaker 3: in between us, he was perfect and happy.

566
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 4: Red flag because he's like, we need space. It's like,

567
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 4: do we not have that all day while you're at work?

568
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:26,280
Speaker 1: And yeah, I'm not there. You're not getting space.

569
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:28,880
Speaker 3: I think he's doing something naughty. I think he's doing

570
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 3: something naughty. And then he gets home from doing something naughty,

571
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 3: as in cheating, and then he's like, oh.

572
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,320
Speaker 1: Get away from me. I can't. I can't. I don't,

573
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 1: but like be perfect, but I can't get out of

574
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,199
Speaker 1: my way. I need space. We'll get back to reality

575
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 1: and see, but I just wanted to.

576
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:44,679
Speaker 4: It would definitely check out that he's cheating. I just

577
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 4: don't think that he would be like he's like even more.

578
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:48,440
Speaker 1: I can't.

579
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 6: I cannot stand the sight of you, for it makes

580
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 6: me so guilty.

581
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 3: He's been on and off with me almost every weekend

582
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 3: or month since the beginning.

583
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 1: I broke up with him.

584
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,359
Speaker 3: Once for crossing a boundary and not showing he had

585
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,639
Speaker 3: any care for the relationship and for lying.

586
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 1: Wonder what that was.

587
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,719
Speaker 3: He showed me exactly what I thought he would when

588
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,840
Speaker 3: I had originally brought up the issue. He wasn't ready

589
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 3: to commit, nor was he ready to be considerate of

590
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,200
Speaker 3: me or the relationship. He came back apologizing and saying

591
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:13,399
Speaker 3: he knows he wasn't right, and he knows that he

592
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 3: didn't treat me right, and acted as if he realized

593
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,119
Speaker 3: that he knew what he did wasn't kind and that

594
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 3: he would change and try to be better.

595
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 1: Well, three days later, A three days later, three days later.

596
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:29,879
Speaker 3: Three days later, he's at a girl's house.

597
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 5: So so it's three days grace, O, you.

598
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:36,400
Speaker 6: No, if it can even be cheating, if like you were, like.

599
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:39,560
Speaker 4: We were breaking up every week, are y'all even together?

600
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,359
Speaker 4: We're going to break it's just just someone you live with,

601
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,359
Speaker 4: you'und the impression that he's trying.

602
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 1: She's trying.

603
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:49,440
Speaker 3: She's probably confused, she's trying to figure it out, but he.

604
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 1: Is cheating ten trillion percent? Oh god.

605
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 3: Well, three days later, he's at a girl's house, ignoring

606
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,760
Speaker 3: my calls and texts, and then answers a call to

607
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 3: tell me he's busy and he will call me back.

608
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 3: We texted a bit and then he stops answering me

609
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:06,119
Speaker 3: completely until the next morning, and he tells me that

610
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 3: he failed his wee Wei test.

611
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 1: Trash man.

612
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 3: I'm hurt and disappointed and also want to confront him

613
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 3: and help him do better.

614
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 1: I call him and it's not even eleven am and.

615
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 3: He's at the bar with his buds, trying to forget

616
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,520
Speaker 3: about his f ups. I tell him that maybe doing

617
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,440
Speaker 3: the thing that caused him to fail isn't the answer.

618
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,040
Speaker 1: Whoa, and maybe.

619
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 3: The people that he's around aren't the best influence. He

620
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 3: yells at me and hangs out. I'm getting off topic,

621
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 3: SORDA fast forward to last week, where he removed me

622
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:37,240
Speaker 3: again and then saw that I had made a Facebook

623
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,880
Speaker 3: My Facebook profile is just me, as is his.

624
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 1: His is just him. He broke up with me again

625
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:43,320
Speaker 1: and fed off.

626
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,399
Speaker 3: To his idiot friends. He also called the police on

627
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 3: me while he was on all kinds of fed up

628
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,840
Speaker 3: stuff to attempt to have me removed, but he was

629
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:55,720
Speaker 3: told to leave instead. Ooh, thank god, they thank They

630
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 3: hit him with the switcher rou the switcher Freakin' rue

631
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 3: oun a reverse card. So I set up my PROI

632
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,840
Speaker 3: and then a section where I asked for my relationship status.

633
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 3: I stated it as single, as I was very much single,

634
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,400
Speaker 3: not because I wanted to be, but because he told.

635
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,040
Speaker 1: Me later than I. He comes back wasted.

636
00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:12,880
Speaker 3: I'm sleeping in the bed with my dog, and I'm

637
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 3: woken up by him yelling at me, insulting me, and

638
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 3: packing my things.

639
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:18,040
Speaker 1: You're single on Facebook?

640
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:20,439
Speaker 3: He was not happy about that, although he goes around

641
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:23,359
Speaker 3: telling his friends he's getting me out. He's evicting me

642
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 3: and breaking up with me. But how dare I make

643
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,080
Speaker 3: a Facebook in state that I am single? Why would

644
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:31,919
Speaker 3: you post in a relationship? After being broken up with

645
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,640
Speaker 3: so many times and realizing that maybe he isn't going

646
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,679
Speaker 3: to change like he says he is, and maybe this

647
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:39,880
Speaker 3: relationship is better off coming to an end. So over

648
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 3: the next few days, he's being nice to me again,

649
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 3: unpacking my things, being kind, and I ask him, what

650
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,919
Speaker 3: is going on, sister, that is a question we all

651
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 3: want to know.

652
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:50,560
Speaker 1: He says, let's try to make this work.

653
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,720
Speaker 3: He wants me to change my Facebook and change my

654
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 3: relationship status. I only remove my status from being public

655
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:57,119
Speaker 3: to only me.

656
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, but I literally see this as an episode

657
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 4: of trailer Boys right now, Dude, this is like a

658
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 4: like there's a side plot, the b plot, new characters,

659
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,760
Speaker 4: and it's like someone's having a spat because the relationship

660
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 4: status on Facebook is wrong. Dude, that is an actual

661
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:15,159
Speaker 4: Trailer park Boys plot line.

662
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,400
Speaker 1: Wrong, but it's actually right. He's like, oh, I break

663
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:19,360
Speaker 1: up with you. And then he's like, why is this thing.

664
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,640
Speaker 3: Going's like, maybe because you told me yeah, Maybe you told.

665
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 1: Me that yes. Maybe because we're broken up, dude.

666
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,639
Speaker 3: I ask him why it's so easy for him to

667
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 3: remove me from his profile every time we get in

668
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:34,160
Speaker 3: some type of petty disputes, but never willing to add

669
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 3: me back.

670
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:35,439
Speaker 1: He gets mad at me.

671
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:37,199
Speaker 3: I ask him to put me back in and he

672
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,719
Speaker 3: tells me only if I put him in mind. So

673
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 3: I tell him if he goes a month without breaking

674
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:42,440
Speaker 3: up with me.

675
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:46,199
Speaker 1: I will What are you doing?

676
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:46,680
Speaker 5: No?

677
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 3: He tells me no way then, and then states himself

678
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 3: as publicly single. Days go by, we had fights to

679
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:58,200
Speaker 3: go somewhere and we would be civil on the trip.

680
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:01,040
Speaker 3: So first thing that happens is I question his single

681
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 3: status on Facebook and he gets bad at me and

682
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:04,880
Speaker 3: tells me if I want to be in his profile,

683
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:06,960
Speaker 3: he needs to be in mine first, because he doesn't

684
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:10,080
Speaker 3: want to be some chump with a single girlfriend on Facebook. God,

685
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,639
Speaker 3: I told him I'm not ready to be public about

686
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 3: him not knowing if he's going to break up with

687
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:18,080
Speaker 3: me come the weekend. He cannot guarantee me a month

688
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:21,360
Speaker 3: of commitment, security or civilness. And we're getting into this

689
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 3: update two hours later. So I am now in his

690
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,600
Speaker 3: profile for sure. I can't even celebrate that. It's just

691
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 3: we're staying in this mess, and he's on my booty

692
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,160
Speaker 3: about me putting him in mind. I ask him about

693
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 3: this woman he's been talking too lately and ask to

694
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 3: see their conversation. In the conversation, she asks if I'm working,

695
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,719
Speaker 3: and then he corrects her to tell her that I

696
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 3: am no longer his girlfriend and that I don't work.

697
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 3: I work from home. I didn't know that we were

698
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,240
Speaker 3: broken up this morning either.

699
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

700
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:51,960
Speaker 3: I am slightly hurt because I thought things were going

701
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 3: to get better. But he's already telling this random lady

702
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 3: he's never met but lives in our neighborhood district that

703
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,120
Speaker 3: he's single and lying to her about what I do

704
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 3: like it's her business.

705
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:06,000
Speaker 4: Yes, So hey, leave this man leave this man.

706
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 1: This next part in his defense.

707
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 3: No, he tells me that they have healthy conversations and

708
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 3: I don't with my friends. No, that's not in his defense. No. No,

709
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:21,720
Speaker 3: my friends lift me up as I do them. We

710
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 3: reminisce on the good old days, hope for good futures,

711
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 3: and make sure that they know that they.

712
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 1: Are awesome, loved and missed.

713
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 3: A lot of my friends are men and love me

714
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,160
Speaker 3: for all of me and remind me that any guy

715
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 3: would be lucky to have me and to never let

716
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:38,320
Speaker 3: anyone break me down. Get her away from this man.

717
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 1: Listen to your friend.

718
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:43,680
Speaker 3: Listen like friends, friends, please like listen to this point.

719
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 3: Intervene at this point, say something to her.

720
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 8: They're telling that they are They were telling her that.

721
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:49,680
Speaker 1: Huh.

722
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 8: If that's what they're telling you, listen to them.

723
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 3: Oh wait, I do not tell them my problems. I

724
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,640
Speaker 3: do not hit them up or pump them up in

725
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:01,520
Speaker 3: a spicy sleep or physical way as if I'm attracted

726
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 3: to them. Ever, so basically she doesn't flirt with them, right,

727
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 3: she just like has like a healthy relationship. But also

728
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 3: she doesn't tell her problems to them, so they don't know.

729
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 3: The next up update is eight months out. We went

730
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:15,240
Speaker 3: from two hours after to eight months after. Do we

731
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 3: think they're still together?

732
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 1: Yes?

733
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:20,080
Speaker 6: Or why would you update eight months later?

734
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 1: Wow?

735
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 3: I made a mistake where I sound out a picture

736
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 3: that was intended to be paid for but ended up

737
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 3: not being paid, not knowing it would hurt him because

738
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 3: he told me he didn't care as long as it

739
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 3: was people we didn't know, and I thought that was

740
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 3: our mutual friends that we had together.

741
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 1: I didn't think that.

742
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 3: It included this person twenty nine male who lives fourteen

743
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 3: hours away and I haven't seen in eight years, who

744
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 3: received the photo. Had I known it would have hurt him,

745
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 3: I would not have done it. I asked him to

746
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 3: correct it and tell her that he is, in fact

747
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 3: in a relationship with me. He yelled at me and

748
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:55,880
Speaker 3: told me to go be with one of those guys

749
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 3: who is good to me. And instead of telling him

750
00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 3: the thing I always do, I want you, I don't

751
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 3: want them, I told him fine and walked away. Hey,

752
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:08,640
Speaker 3: yes this is we like we like this, we like

753
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 3: this momentum, we like where where we're headed.

754
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,520
Speaker 4: Okay, actually step into that and mean it instead of

755
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:16,040
Speaker 4: doing it as like a point like no, just be

756
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 4: like Okay, that was the best advice you've ever given me.

757
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:20,480
Speaker 4: I'll go find someone else.

758
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:23,360
Speaker 3: Not even a minute later after that, he deleted me

759
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:26,640
Speaker 3: and removed me from his Facebook profile and his friend's list.

760
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 1: Go by the.

761
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:33,959
Speaker 9: Way, if you want to never have our voices removed

762
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 9: from your ear holes, Guys, we have full episodes, full

763
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:41,479
Speaker 9: length episodes of stories just like this Spotify, Apple podcasts

764
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:42,800
Speaker 9: wherever you listen to podcast search.

765
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 3: Okay, story time two thousand full episodes, full length episodes.

766
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 3: But Dakota, we are we are nearing the end of

767
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 3: the story. It looks like, ope, he might be walking

768
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 3: away this time.

769
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 1: Do we think it's for real?

770
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 4: Like?

771
00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 1: I hope so. I don't think it started from that.

772
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 4: I think it started from that place where it was like,

773
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 4: and now he's gonna come crawling back.

774
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I really hope.

775
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:07,480
Speaker 4: That you wake up, op and realize that, Oh I

776
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:09,560
Speaker 4: actually don't want him to crawl back because he sucks.

777
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 1: I think this finally might be the time.

778
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:13,720
Speaker 3: We then had a nice talk and he said he

779
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 3: was sorry and acted as if he was validating my

780
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 3: feelings and empathizing with me. He added me back to

781
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:22,719
Speaker 3: his profile picture. I asked him if he told this

782
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 3: woman yet that he wasn't single. He then told me

783
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 3: that he won't tell her he's single until I add

784
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 3: him back on Facebook.

785
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 4: Wait, this is the dumbest relationship I've ever seen, maybe

786
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 4: the dumbest of all time.

787
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 3: I told him I'm sticking to my word, and if

788
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 3: he goes a month and he shows me we're back

789
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 3: to here, that he can be in a relationship without

790
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 3: this constant need to be right and need to devalue

791
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 3: and diminish my worth in this relationship for a whole month,

792
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 3: then I will be happy to place him in my

793
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:53,360
Speaker 3: profile picture.

794
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 1: Treating this guy like he's dry January? What is this story?

795
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,120
Speaker 6: He's not gonna be a trend for a month.

796
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:00,560
Speaker 4: And then to be set like that for the rest

797
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 4: of his life.

798
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 1: You leave him.

799
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:08,240
Speaker 3: He still refuses to tell this other woman that he's

800
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:12,120
Speaker 3: not single and refuses to guarantee me even a month

801
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:15,000
Speaker 3: or to be patient enough to wait that month. Am

802
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,000
Speaker 3: I the a hole for not placing him in my

803
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:19,320
Speaker 3: photo after he put me back?

804
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:24,280
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my I'm exhausted. Yes, I op

805
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 1: and everyone in the story.

806
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:31,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, wake up, call, I will say, wake up.

807
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:32,960
Speaker 1: I will say.

808
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:37,120
Speaker 3: I do feel for op because I think she's just

809
00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:41,120
Speaker 3: in the toxic vortex, right, and sometimes you just you

810
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:46,080
Speaker 3: just fall down the endless toxic vortex wormhole and it's

811
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:47,720
Speaker 3: just so hard to see it get out of. It

812
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 3: becomes your whole world. He's so controlling and who knows

813
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:51,480
Speaker 3: what else he's done.

814
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 4: So this is big facts being cooked up over here

815
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:55,480
Speaker 4: by Big John.

816
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:56,920
Speaker 1: But still like you know.

817
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:58,960
Speaker 3: I mean, she does say like, hey, you devalue me.

818
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 3: You make me feel what she is seeing a lot

819
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:03,960
Speaker 3: of these things, so it's like take that and run.

820
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 1: I want to know is where are the friends? Where

821
00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:09,320
Speaker 1: are these great friends? Where is your support system?

822
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 4: Screaming in your face that you need to leave this man?

823
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:17,560
Speaker 4: There were literally people you described that said, don't anybody

824
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:20,040
Speaker 4: ever dig away yourself worked.

825
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:21,400
Speaker 1: And don't anybody talk down to you.

826
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:23,879
Speaker 4: And it's just like anybody will be lucky to have

827
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 4: you as a partner.

828
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 6: It's like where did they go?

829
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:27,799
Speaker 1: Where they go?

830
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 6: I don't know because that they're all right, And it's

831
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:33,279
Speaker 6: what you need to do.

832
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:36,120
Speaker 1: You need to leave this man. Leave this man.

833
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:39,919
Speaker 6: You are an a hole to yourself for not leaving

834
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:40,560
Speaker 6: this man.

835
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:44,399
Speaker 3: Crazy Hey John og host here we're gonna get back

836
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:46,400
Speaker 3: to this episode, but a quick three minute break of

837
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 3: ads from a sponsor's keeping the show alive.

838
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 8: My boyfriend's mother made him browse Tender daily because she

839
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:55,840
Speaker 8: doesn't approve of me. Buckle up and prepare your teacups

840
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 8: because we've only been dating for a week and my

841
00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 8: boyfriend's mom is already trying to aboutage things between us.

842
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 8: By the way, this comes from Bellinote nineteen eighty eight.

843
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:05,719
Speaker 8: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

844
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:08,880
Speaker 8: to our slash Shokey storytime subbured at show. I thirty

845
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,800
Speaker 8: six female, met Patrick thirty one male, through an online

846
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 8: writing group and we instantly clicked. While we're waiting to

847
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:17,200
Speaker 8: actually meet later this year to decide if we're going

848
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 8: to make things official, we've been calling each other boyfriend

849
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:24,000
Speaker 8: and girlfriend. When did you meet? How long has it been?

850
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 1: Sometimes it feels like people are rushing things.

851
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, it like online relationships are weird because I know

852
00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:33,279
Speaker 5: people who've had very successful on relationships and I've had

853
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:34,520
Speaker 5: people who are just crash.

854
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 8: Well, we'll see what this one is. And we do

855
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:39,399
Speaker 8: talk about marriage and kids, but it's the what if

856
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:41,319
Speaker 8: kind of talks. I did tell him that I'm the

857
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:43,880
Speaker 8: marrying kind, and he's open to the idea as well.

858
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:47,319
Speaker 8: The problem is his mom, a Holly sixties female. I

859
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:49,720
Speaker 8: haven't met Alli yet. Although I'm open to the idea.

860
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:52,399
Speaker 8: The problem is that she already doesn't like me because

861
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 8: she's convinced I'm trying to trap him in marriage, even

862
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 8: though we're still figuring out things. She even spent four

863
00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 8: days fasting, either in protest or out stress or both.

864
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:04,720
Speaker 8: That's not too extra what who is this lady? Although

865
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:07,480
Speaker 8: I do feel sorry for her. Patrick did confront her

866
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:10,040
Speaker 8: about her behavior yesterday, being fed up with it, and

867
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 8: she revealed that she had a bad experience with a

868
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:15,400
Speaker 8: man she dated years before she met Patrick's father, her husband,

869
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:18,280
Speaker 8: but she didn't reveal any details. Why is that relevant?

870
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 8: Patrick and his dad were stunned that she never told anyone,

871
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:24,880
Speaker 8: although I can understand why she wouldn't feel comfortable sharing it. Well.

872
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,479
Speaker 8: Just now, Patrick and I were talking and he said

873
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:30,400
Speaker 8: that Holly made him promise to scroll through Tinder before

874
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 8: her what for forty five minutes a day to ensure

875
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 8: he's keeping his options open.

876
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,080
Speaker 5: I have forty five minutes, like why not like an

877
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 5: hour or thirty more?

878
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 8: It's forty five minutes.

879
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 1: This is calculated.

880
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:48,320
Speaker 5: She like optimal time swipes per matches, clicks per minute.

881
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 8: I do have complete faith and trust in him, given

882
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:53,239
Speaker 8: how he's been treating me and how despite a few

883
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:56,480
Speaker 8: hiccups and miscommunication, we've been able to work through things,

884
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 8: and he's told me that he is the most excited

885
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:01,359
Speaker 8: to meet me and doesn't want to anyone else. I

886
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:03,640
Speaker 8: really hope he doesn't have to go no contact with her,

887
00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:06,440
Speaker 8: but I believe he would if Holly got worse. I

888
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:08,839
Speaker 8: do feel bummed, though, because I was planning on sending

889
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:12,360
Speaker 8: him weekly letters and cards. I love sending and getting letters,

890
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:14,200
Speaker 8: and we're both afraid that she's going to get a

891
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 8: hold of them and burn them.

892
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:18,440
Speaker 1: This just keeps getting more what insane.

893
00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:22,239
Speaker 8: I feel like they're not seeing how crazy she is.

894
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:22,799
Speaker 1: This is.

895
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 5: This is literally pyromaniac. That's like, if it's through the mail,

896
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:28,920
Speaker 5: this is felony. We're talking about a felony here.

897
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,759
Speaker 8: He's still living with them until his condo, which he's

898
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 8: purchased in is being built, is ready. However, Patrick did

899
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:36,680
Speaker 8: tell me to keep writing the letters and that'll pick

900
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:38,840
Speaker 8: them up when he visits me. He's holding his ground

901
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:41,000
Speaker 8: and will be coming to see me one way or another.

902
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:43,799
Speaker 8: And I'm standing by my man unless and until he

903
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,279
Speaker 8: gives me reason to otherwise. It's just gonna be a

904
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:49,000
Speaker 8: bumpy road. And there is an update, but there is

905
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:52,360
Speaker 8: so much to unpack already. Do you have any thoughts

906
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:53,879
Speaker 8: save a lot?

907
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,120
Speaker 5: There's being involved in your child's see yeah, and then

908
00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 5: there's this.

909
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 8: Like she's doing a hunger strip because her child has

910
00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:03,000
Speaker 8: a girlfriend.

911
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:04,320
Speaker 1: Hey, let's commit felonies.

912
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:08,279
Speaker 8: She's like, I'm gonna burn Also, it seems like this

913
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:11,479
Speaker 8: has probably already happened. If he thinks that she'd burn

914
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:14,320
Speaker 8: the letters, Like, I feel like she's done that before.

915
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 5: It's gotten probably on to the point where her insane

916
00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 5: behavior has become normal.

917
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:18,319
Speaker 1: Yeah.

918
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:20,359
Speaker 8: So he's like, ah, she'll probably burn them. I don't know,

919
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 8: something crazy.

920
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:23,439
Speaker 1: It's like, what if this is like this is normal?

921
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:24,760
Speaker 1: What's like the worst thing she's done.

922
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:26,279
Speaker 8: That's what I'm saying. She was like uh oh. He

923
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 8: was like, Oh, if Holly gets worse, he'll cut her off.

924
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:33,960
Speaker 8: She's already at worse. We're already in the bad place, man.

925
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 8: We need to reel her back in asap. But there

926
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:42,200
Speaker 8: is an update, So We're to dive right in. It

927
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 8: hasn't been a day and I already have some tea.

928
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,239
Speaker 8: First off, i'd like to thank everyone for their responses,

929
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,279
Speaker 8: both good and bad. I would also like to add

930
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:52,440
Speaker 8: a lot more contact context that I didn't add. I

931
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:54,360
Speaker 8: was on my iPhone, so that's why my initial post

932
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:58,080
Speaker 8: was so short. One. Firstly, Patrick isn't even from the States.

933
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:01,200
Speaker 8: He's from Switzerland, which is particular lessly expensive to live in,

934
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 8: so that's why he's still at home. He does contribute

935
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:06,360
Speaker 8: to bills and the like. However, he has purchased a condo.

936
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:08,440
Speaker 8: He's sent me pictures of the floor plan and they

937
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:10,239
Speaker 8: have his name on them, so I know that's the

938
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,520
Speaker 8: real thing. Holly and Carl's sixties mail. Patrick's dad have

939
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 8: an our house, our roles, which fine, which is what

940
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 8: she's using his leverage. He's playing the long game. In

941
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:23,399
Speaker 8: essence Number two. We have a lot of discussions about

942
00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:26,680
Speaker 8: all sorts of things. We talk about favorite movies, favorite games,

943
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 8: favorite styles of music, favorite sports, philosophical discussions, and marriage kids.

944
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,880
Speaker 8: We're not actively planning a wedding. They're the fun discussions

945
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 8: that last maybe five minutes, and then we move on

946
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,520
Speaker 8: to the next topic, although there was an adorable moment

947
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:41,360
Speaker 8: where he told me that he said to his friends

948
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:43,840
Speaker 8: that he was hanging out with his fiance, but you

949
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 8: guys aren't official. You guys have an interesting relationship. They're

950
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 8: calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend, but they're not official.

951
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 1: There's a lot unset.

952
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:57,399
Speaker 5: I think, Yeah, in this, I'm just absorbing all now

953
00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,839
Speaker 5: coming out. It's like, okay, so this was right, like

954
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 5: there's something that the parents are holding over.

955
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,880
Speaker 8: When I clarified what that meant here in the States,

956
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:07,680
Speaker 8: he was embarrassed, but we had a good laugh about it. Three.

957
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:10,399
Speaker 8: Patrick and I had our first phone call a week

958
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:14,760
Speaker 8: or so after we started talking, and it lasted six hours. Well,

959
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:17,279
Speaker 8: there was a bit of a translation English not being

960
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:20,240
Speaker 8: his first language and I only know a little German. Problem.

961
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:23,200
Speaker 8: We just talked and talked and talked, not really aware

962
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 8: of the time that so much or that so much

963
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:27,920
Speaker 8: time had passed, until my friend asked me if I

964
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:29,759
Speaker 8: was coming to supper. The next week, we had a

965
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:32,560
Speaker 8: video date where we watched the sunset in Switzerland, so

966
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 8: I actually got to see him and he got.

967
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 5: To see Okay, at least this is not like a

968
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:37,960
Speaker 5: ninety day fiance system, and.

969
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:40,919
Speaker 8: You never see him until he visits Number four while

970
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,120
Speaker 8: we call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. We're going to

971
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:45,960
Speaker 8: get together this summer after he finishes getting certified for

972
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,720
Speaker 8: a new position at his job, and from there decide

973
00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:51,080
Speaker 8: if we're going to make it official. He's always wanted

974
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:52,960
Speaker 8: to come to the States, but wasn't able to find

975
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 8: a good reason to come. I really hope it does

976
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:57,920
Speaker 8: work out, because I like him and he likes me,

977
00:40:58,120 --> 00:41:01,239
Speaker 8: but we're taking things very slow. Number five. What do

978
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:03,000
Speaker 8: I see in Patrick? He's one of the few guys

979
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:05,120
Speaker 8: I've met who actively takes an interest in what I'm

980
00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:07,759
Speaker 8: doing and what I like to do. He's also very selfless.

981
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:09,840
Speaker 8: A week or so after we met, I decided to

982
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:11,880
Speaker 8: ask him to help me pick out a bouquet for

983
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 8: my mom's birthday. He said, I have a three D printer.

984
00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 8: I'm gonna make her a vase to put the flowers in,

985
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:18,840
Speaker 8: and he's going to mail it to me. When I

986
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:20,560
Speaker 8: asked him to tell me the shipping cost so I

987
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 8: could reimburse him, he declined, saying it was his present

988
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:26,000
Speaker 8: to her and that my joy was worth it. I

989
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:28,359
Speaker 8: told him a little bit about my struggles with mental

990
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:30,960
Speaker 8: health issues, and he insisted on giving me his number

991
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:34,680
Speaker 8: so I can call him anytime. He was like, oh, no,

992
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:38,000
Speaker 8: I have I've got to give you my number. I

993
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:39,920
Speaker 8: gave him mine so he knew the number, and he

994
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:41,920
Speaker 8: texted me to ensure he had the right number. He

995
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,319
Speaker 8: hasn't used it since, nor have I hounded him. When

996
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,000
Speaker 8: he learned that I might have to work a double,

997
00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:48,400
Speaker 8: he set his alarm early. He's seven hours ahead of me,

998
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:50,239
Speaker 8: so he could catch me as I got off work

999
00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 8: because I wouldn't be able to talk to him at

1000
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 8: a regular time. Fortunately, someone else was able to cover

1001
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:56,239
Speaker 8: for me, so I didn't have to do it, but

1002
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 8: it still moved me that he did it. I've also

1003
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:00,920
Speaker 8: hung out on Discord with him and his friend as

1004
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:03,400
Speaker 8: they gamed, and his friend treated me pretty well. Patrick

1005
00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:05,840
Speaker 8: told me afterward that his friend liked me. So, with

1006
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:09,240
Speaker 8: that all out of the way, on to the updates.

1007
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 1: Oh, that was just the fake.

1008
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:12,759
Speaker 8: That was just yeah, that was just like, here's what

1009
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:13,600
Speaker 8: your life is.

1010
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:15,240
Speaker 1: That's like the preamble to the update.

1011
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,160
Speaker 8: Yeah, we were just learning where how it started. After

1012
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:20,960
Speaker 8: reading your responses, Patrick and I had a very long

1013
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:22,759
Speaker 8: talk once he got off work. I told him that

1014
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 8: I didn't feel comfortable with him not telling his mom

1015
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:27,319
Speaker 8: off and I was already having doubts about us. That's

1016
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:30,400
Speaker 8: when he revealed that Holly also went a step further

1017
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:33,799
Speaker 8: and created a Tinder account for Patrick behind his back.

1018
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:36,120
Speaker 1: This mom was just doing the most and not.

1019
00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:40,279
Speaker 8: In a good way at all. Carl and Patrick both

1020
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:43,280
Speaker 8: told Holly to knock it off and leave us alone.

1021
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:46,840
Speaker 8: Now here's where it gets really crazy. Holly decided to

1022
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,200
Speaker 8: go through Tinder to find dates for him. Apparently she

1023
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:52,480
Speaker 8: didn't realize that Tinder is a hookup app. According to Patrick,

1024
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 8: she isn't the best at computer or social media and shouted,

1025
00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:59,400
Speaker 8: this app is just for spici sleep. I was feeling secondhand,

1026
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:02,279
Speaker 8: embarrassed and for Patrick is still going to come here

1027
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:04,839
Speaker 8: to the States this summer and this summer and from

1028
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:06,840
Speaker 8: there we'll make a decision on if we're going to

1029
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:08,759
Speaker 8: make things official. But he has my back as much

1030
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:11,160
Speaker 8: as I have his. I have no reason to doubt him,

1031
00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:13,520
Speaker 8: and if he breaks my trust, I'm done. And he

1032
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 8: knows that you changed all of his passwords to everything

1033
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,600
Speaker 8: he can think of and is hiding his important paperwork

1034
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,919
Speaker 8: as soon as the Kondo is ready, he'll be moving

1035
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:22,920
Speaker 8: in and she won't be getting a spare key, and

1036
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 8: the landlord will be made aware that Holly isn't welcome.

1037
00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:28,600
Speaker 8: We just have to hold on until then. I did

1038
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 8: share how sad I was that I wouldn't be able

1039
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:32,279
Speaker 8: to send him letters and that he was going to

1040
00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:33,840
Speaker 8: have to wait to pick them all up for me.

1041
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 8: I've been writing to him every week and we came

1042
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:38,200
Speaker 8: up with a solution with the help of one of

1043
00:43:38,239 --> 00:43:40,840
Speaker 8: his friends who he met through work and also thinks

1044
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:44,040
Speaker 8: Holly is crazy. But you know what else is crazy

1045
00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:46,360
Speaker 8: The fact that you can listen to full episodes with

1046
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:49,120
Speaker 8: stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

1047
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:51,319
Speaker 8: or your favorite podcast app and search up. Okayst right time.

1048
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 1: That's crazy in the good way.

1049
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 8: I know that's crazy, and the really really good way.

1050
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,920
Speaker 8: But there is a little bit left to this story.

1051
00:43:58,000 --> 00:43:59,480
Speaker 8: Do you have any final thoughts?

1052
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:01,560
Speaker 1: Having the mom create.

1053
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 8: The count and then go on it actively.

1054
00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:06,239
Speaker 5: Mm hmm is very unexpected, Yeah, and.

1055
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 8: A little very ikey, very icky that she's toxic, very toxic. Yeah,

1056
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:13,600
Speaker 8: Because I feel like she said, after finding out, you know,

1057
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 8: I got this, I feel like she must have been

1058
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:20,720
Speaker 8: flirting with some of these women's women's women on Tinder.

1059
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 5: That brings up the the issue of if they eventually

1060
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:28,560
Speaker 5: did meet up, how would that conversation be.

1061
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:30,960
Speaker 1: Is like, Oh, it wasn't actually me. It wasn't me.

1062
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 8: It was my mother the whole time.

1063
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:36,480
Speaker 1: Anything we talked about, because we didn't talk, it wasn't me.

1064
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:39,480
Speaker 8: Yeah, but there's a little bit more. I'll send my

1065
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:41,840
Speaker 8: letters to this friend and then he'll give Patrick the

1066
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:44,480
Speaker 8: letters and cards. At work. Patrick had a lock box

1067
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:46,359
Speaker 8: that only he is the key to, and we'll keep

1068
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:49,120
Speaker 8: them there. So we're still hanging out and talking, but

1069
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:51,880
Speaker 8: we're lying low for the time being. We're still talking

1070
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 8: by phone every weekend when Patrick takes their dog for

1071
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:56,879
Speaker 8: a very long hike. You may not be reshued about

1072
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:59,959
Speaker 8: our relationship, but I'm choosing to be cautiously optimistic. Things

1073
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:02,839
Speaker 8: reading and I'll be sure to keep everyone updated. And

1074
00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:05,439
Speaker 8: that is the end of the story. And I now

1075
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:08,759
Speaker 8: understand what Max max Andre was asking why resort to

1076
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,880
Speaker 8: a letter? Yeah, they were. It was just more romantic

1077
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:14,319
Speaker 8: because they've been calling and discord messaging and everything, but

1078
00:45:15,719 --> 00:45:16,520
Speaker 8: writing letters.

1079
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:18,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it's like it's a lot of there's a

1080
00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:20,960
Speaker 5: lot of people. I know you prefer like that tactile.

1081
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:23,759
Speaker 5: It shures you're putting them prey to it, and it's

1082
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:25,919
Speaker 5: like it's a special thing because you don't often get

1083
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:30,839
Speaker 5: mailed these days. That's not like bills or spam or

1084
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:33,359
Speaker 5: coupons that you never use or forget to use intil

1085
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 5: The liter writing is a letter writing is.

1086
00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:38,279
Speaker 8: It shouldn't be a dying art form. Let's get it

1087
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:38,640
Speaker 8: back up.

1088
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:41,880
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.

1089
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:43,880
Speaker 2: But here's three bits of ads from our sponsors that

1090
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1091
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1092
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1093
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1094
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Speaker 8: been with my boyfriend, twenty eight male Jay for five years.

1095
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1096
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:05,680
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1097
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Speaker 8: By the way, this comes from Holiday Gourmet Turkey and

1098
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:09,759
Speaker 8: if you want to submit your own stories, got our

1099
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:12,799
Speaker 8: Slashokay storytime separate, So whenever we discuss it, he gets

1100
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:15,879
Speaker 8: kind of stand offish. He doesn't really dismiss the idea, though,

1101
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:19,160
Speaker 8: it's just that he doesn't seem invested. I've always wanted kids,

1102
00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:22,120
Speaker 8: and he just always says he's fine with whatever makes

1103
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 8: me happy. Ever since, I've been content with the situation.

1104
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:28,520
Speaker 5: If it's not an enthusiastic yes, it's not yeah.

1105
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 8: You gotta be on board have kids.

1106
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 5: At that point, there's people who will be like, I'll

1107
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:34,919
Speaker 5: have the kid just to make me happy, to keep

1108
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:36,840
Speaker 5: you there. But it's like the kid's gonna know. The

1109
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:39,120
Speaker 5: kid's gonna know that you didn't want them to be yeah,

1110
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 5: and the lissoning.

1111
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:42,120
Speaker 8: It can't be like a, oh, the dog that he

1112
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:43,040
Speaker 8: didn't want, and then.

1113
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:46,160
Speaker 5: It's just that you know that there's gonna be resentment

1114
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:48,120
Speaker 5: and the kid's gonna not have a happy life.

1115
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:51,759
Speaker 8: However, things escalated during this holiday season. Are setup has

1116
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:54,480
Speaker 8: always been that Jay spends Christmas Eve and Dinner with

1117
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:57,080
Speaker 8: my family, then I spend Christmas Day with his family.

1118
00:46:57,120 --> 00:46:59,320
Speaker 8: This was the first Christmas I'll spend with my first

1119
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:02,040
Speaker 8: and only nie to female Anna. She spent her first

1120
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:04,640
Speaker 8: Christmas in the hospital due to her health condition, but

1121
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 8: she's okay now, so I made sure to spend a

1122
00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:09,319
Speaker 8: lot of time with her. We played a lot, we

1123
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:12,960
Speaker 8: opened gifts together, and I even re enacted Anna's favorite

1124
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:17,160
Speaker 8: storybook using her favorite doll, and we even had matching outfits.

1125
00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:20,160
Speaker 8: My sister, thirty female Amy, thanked me for giving her

1126
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 8: and her husband some relief from childcare.

1127
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:23,080
Speaker 1: That entire day.

1128
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:26,520
Speaker 8: However, Amy also said she noticed that Jay, who was

1129
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:29,160
Speaker 8: just either sitting on the couch watching me or helping

1130
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:32,880
Speaker 8: my mom with additions dishes, was kind of distant with Anna.

1131
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:35,480
Speaker 8: I told her I also noticed that before, and I

1132
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 8: just chalked it up to maybe Jay was hesitant and

1133
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:40,880
Speaker 8: awkward to play with Anna because he feels he's just

1134
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:43,480
Speaker 8: my boyfriend. Then Amy said she won't mind since she

1135
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:46,320
Speaker 8: and her husband already treat Jay as part of our family.

1136
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:48,440
Speaker 8: I then went back to Jay and encouraged him to

1137
00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:50,279
Speaker 8: play with Anna and to help us set up her

1138
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 8: new dollhouse, but he said he's not feeling too well.

1139
00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:54,880
Speaker 8: He ended up drinking a few more beers and staying

1140
00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:57,920
Speaker 8: on the porch by himself, scrolling on his phone. I

1141
00:47:57,960 --> 00:48:00,600
Speaker 8: didn't press harder and thought he might really just be

1142
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:02,480
Speaker 8: feeling under the weather. I just want to add for

1143
00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:05,640
Speaker 8: context that Jay isn't a heavy drinker. He's a sweet,

1144
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:09,040
Speaker 8: wonderful funny man who's sometimes broody and deep in thought,

1145
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:13,000
Speaker 8: but never use manipulative or moody, and he only drinks

1146
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 8: on special occasions. The next day, on Christmas Day, we

1147
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 8: had lunch with Jay's family. Afterward, I volunteered for clean

1148
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:22,239
Speaker 8: up to help Jay's mom sixty two female Mary and

1149
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:25,840
Speaker 8: brother thirty one male John. Jay's family was the best

1150
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:29,480
Speaker 8: any significant other could ever ask for. Their very sweet

1151
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:32,760
Speaker 8: and supportive of us. But they're never prying. They always

1152
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:35,319
Speaker 8: check up on us, but they never overstep. So as

1153
00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:37,960
Speaker 8: we were cleaning up, Mary asked me how my sister's

1154
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,120
Speaker 8: baby was. They helped with the bills when Anna was

1155
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:43,040
Speaker 8: hospitalized last year. Wow, this is a great family. I

1156
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:45,920
Speaker 8: told them that Anna's in great condition now and that

1157
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:48,680
Speaker 8: she already spent the Christmas at home. They were very

1158
00:48:48,719 --> 00:48:51,799
Speaker 8: delighted upon hearing this. Then I shared with them the

1159
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:54,919
Speaker 8: thing I noticed about Jay. Initially, I thought maybe Mary

1160
00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:57,000
Speaker 8: could just give me advice on how to approach the

1161
00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:59,360
Speaker 8: issue with Jay, since he's clearly not the playing with

1162
00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:02,960
Speaker 8: kids kind of guy. But then John casually said something

1163
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:06,160
Speaker 8: like oh, because of Rosie. Then Mary quickly shushed him.

1164
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:09,240
Speaker 8: Rosie was the daughter of Jay and John's eldest sister,

1165
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:13,080
Speaker 8: Beth thirty five female. I never knew the actual details

1166
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:15,799
Speaker 8: because everyone was very secretive about it. But all I

1167
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:18,680
Speaker 8: know was that Rosie passed away when she was just

1168
00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 8: three years old, and Beth and her husband moved away afterward.

1169
00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:24,680
Speaker 8: I never met them in person. So later that night,

1170
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:26,960
Speaker 8: when Mary John and the other family members got a

1171
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:30,280
Speaker 8: bit mit Moore wasted and Jay was already sleeping the bedroom,

1172
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:34,160
Speaker 8: they told me the story. I didn't force them or anything. Apparently, Jay,

1173
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:36,840
Speaker 8: being the youngest of the siblings, was really close with

1174
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:39,560
Speaker 8: Rosie back then. Jay was just around fourteen years old

1175
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 8: when Rosie was born, so he became the super fun

1176
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:45,040
Speaker 8: uncle like I am now with Anna. He was actually

1177
00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:48,919
Speaker 8: Rosie's best friend. Men On summer of twenty twelve, Jay

1178
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:53,480
Speaker 8: was playing with Rosie outside and everyone, if again, if

1179
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:55,040
Speaker 8: this is something that you do not want to hear,

1180
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:57,680
Speaker 8: you can take a step outside because it seems like

1181
00:49:57,719 --> 00:50:00,880
Speaker 8: it's going to be sad again. Trigger warning, loss of child.

1182
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:05,280
Speaker 8: I know this is Then on summer of twenty twelve,

1183
00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:08,600
Speaker 8: Jay was playing with Rosie outside. He was blowing bubbles

1184
00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:11,320
Speaker 8: and she was chasing and popping them, when a speeding

1185
00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:14,360
Speaker 8: car driven by a woman who was distracted on her phone,

1186
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:19,320
Speaker 8: skidded into the yard towards Rosie's direction. Jay reacted quickly

1187
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:21,319
Speaker 8: and was able to reach and grab Rosie, so the

1188
00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:26,280
Speaker 8: car actually hit him, but the impact of the crash

1189
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:29,120
Speaker 8: Rosie did not survive. Jay was in a coma for

1190
00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:32,600
Speaker 8: three days and had multiple severe injuries and internal bleeding,

1191
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:36,319
Speaker 8: but Rosie didn't make it. Oh my god, I mean,

1192
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:38,759
Speaker 8: it is completely before we I mean, like, let's just

1193
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:44,040
Speaker 8: take a minute. It is completely understandable why he could not,

1194
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:47,000
Speaker 8: you know, would not feel able to be around a

1195
00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:52,040
Speaker 8: young child at experiencing that's trauma, that is that's truly

1196
00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:54,440
Speaker 8: and again I think he was around fourteen.

1197
00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:56,799
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, so they were only seven years apart. He's

1198
00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:59,000
Speaker 5: still a child, Yeah when that happened.

1199
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:02,360
Speaker 8: And also for him to act like step in the way.

1200
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:03,120
Speaker 1: He's in there.

1201
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:04,640
Speaker 5: He tried, Yeah, he.

1202
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:06,280
Speaker 8: Tried, and everything to the point where.

1203
00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:08,279
Speaker 5: He was in a coma, he was he was going

1204
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:09,440
Speaker 5: to take the impact for her.

1205
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:11,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, he did the full Superman, Yeah, a superhero move.

1206
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:13,839
Speaker 5: There's literally nothing else he could have done.

1207
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:17,360
Speaker 8: Yeah, nothing. Everything was caught by the neighbor's CCTV, so

1208
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:19,880
Speaker 8: everyone knew that Jay was a hero for trying to

1209
00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:22,720
Speaker 8: protect Rosie. It was even covered by the local news,

1210
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 8: but Beth, who was understandably in grief, resented Jay for

1211
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:27,719
Speaker 8: not being able to save her daughter.

1212
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:30,520
Speaker 5: I don't feel like putting that on the news was

1213
00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:32,120
Speaker 5: good for him, because then she.

1214
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:35,960
Speaker 8: Probably not everyone's talking about it, or even yeah.

1215
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:38,319
Speaker 5: He's being hailed as a hero, he probably doesn't feel like.

1216
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:40,920
Speaker 8: No, And now his sister is also saying you're not

1217
00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:41,480
Speaker 8: a hero.

1218
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:44,399
Speaker 1: And now it's forever out there. Yeah, that is.

1219
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:47,600
Speaker 8: Just so devastating. She better, I really, I mean, of

1220
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:49,120
Speaker 8: course she went through the loss of a child, but

1221
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:51,840
Speaker 8: I really hope that, like now or at some point

1222
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:54,840
Speaker 8: she came back and you know, apologized for treating a

1223
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:57,120
Speaker 8: child that way. But at fourteen year old, Beth and

1224
00:51:57,160 --> 00:51:59,719
Speaker 8: her husband then decided to move to another country to

1225
00:51:59,719 --> 00:52:01,839
Speaker 8: cope their grief and start a new life, and they've

1226
00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:05,360
Speaker 8: had minimal contact with the family ever since. Jay meanwhile,

1227
00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:08,440
Speaker 8: took the loss really hard. He blamed himself for not

1228
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:10,719
Speaker 8: being able to save Rosie and not being able to

1229
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:13,160
Speaker 8: attend her funeral since he was still at the hospital

1230
00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:15,400
Speaker 8: at the time. Mary said that Jay was never the

1231
00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:18,440
Speaker 8: same after that. He never went near kids and became

1232
00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:21,719
Speaker 8: a lot colder, quieter, more reserved and antisocial. He also

1233
00:52:21,760 --> 00:52:24,120
Speaker 8: had anger issues, but it thankfully went away. I haven't

1234
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:26,080
Speaker 8: had any issues with this. We also live in an

1235
00:52:26,080 --> 00:52:28,800
Speaker 8: area where people don't believe in therapy. That's that was

1236
00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:29,279
Speaker 8: my question.

1237
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:31,360
Speaker 5: I'm seeing in chat that he was seventeen when it happened.

1238
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:33,319
Speaker 5: He was fourteen when she was. Oh, okay, but still

1239
00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:35,920
Speaker 5: everyone it happened. But still, that's seventy. That's not even

1240
00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:38,759
Speaker 5: an adult. You're still not even You're not even out

1241
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:39,400
Speaker 5: of high school.

1242
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:43,600
Speaker 8: So Jay never received professional help. After learning all of this,

1243
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:46,200
Speaker 8: I bawled my eyes out because I never knew Jay

1244
00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:49,120
Speaker 8: was carrying such a heavy burden. The whole incident became

1245
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:51,880
Speaker 8: a taboo family secret that no one mentions in fear

1246
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:55,040
Speaker 8: of Jay breaking down or doing something he might regret.

1247
00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:58,359
Speaker 8: They also never told me before because they assumed Jay

1248
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:00,000
Speaker 8: would be the one to tell me, But I told

1249
00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:02,160
Speaker 8: them that he never did, and that I never really

1250
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:04,560
Speaker 8: asked him. I then thanked everyone for letting me in

1251
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:06,560
Speaker 8: on this, and I told him that I talked to

1252
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:09,759
Speaker 8: Jay about it when the time was right. They understood,

1253
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:11,239
Speaker 8: and they said I could just ring them up if

1254
00:53:11,280 --> 00:53:14,200
Speaker 8: I need help or support in any way. For now,

1255
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:16,279
Speaker 8: I just want Jay to enjoy the holidays and his

1256
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:19,600
Speaker 8: remaining vacation days from work. Now, I don't really know

1257
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:21,960
Speaker 8: how to start with him. I know, seeking professional help

1258
00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:24,520
Speaker 8: to process all the trauma and grief, even if it's

1259
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:27,839
Speaker 8: been over a decade ago, would be the top priority, absolutely,

1260
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:29,440
Speaker 8: but I don't know how to bring it up to him.

1261
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:31,640
Speaker 8: I don't even know when the right time to bring

1262
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:33,400
Speaker 8: it up is. I just want him to know that

1263
00:53:33,480 --> 00:53:35,360
Speaker 8: I love him no matter what, and that I'll support

1264
00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:38,399
Speaker 8: him in every step towards his healing, especially if we're

1265
00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:40,200
Speaker 8: to form a family of her own. And there are

1266
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:45,439
Speaker 8: some comments and an updates, Oh okay, but I think

1267
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:47,640
Speaker 8: right off the bat, I think that oh, he needs

1268
00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:49,840
Speaker 8: to go to him at some point, maybe after the

1269
00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:54,080
Speaker 8: holidays probably mm hmm, and say, hey, I was talking

1270
00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:57,400
Speaker 8: to your family about you know, how we could maybe

1271
00:53:57,600 --> 00:54:00,200
Speaker 8: approach like you talking to or like you hang out

1272
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:02,680
Speaker 8: with my niece. Bring that like why it came up,

1273
00:54:02,719 --> 00:54:05,480
Speaker 8: and then say they told me the story about your

1274
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:08,719
Speaker 8: knees and I understand why you didn't feel it, you know,

1275
00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:11,279
Speaker 8: ready to tell me, and just going into that with

1276
00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:14,360
Speaker 8: a lot of love and then saying kind of leading

1277
00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:17,080
Speaker 8: into the talk about therapy because I do think that's

1278
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:18,120
Speaker 8: really important for him to go.

1279
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:20,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like I think that your approach is

1280
00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:22,879
Speaker 5: probably the best of both worlds, where you let him

1281
00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:24,680
Speaker 5: know but also let him know that it's up to

1282
00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:27,000
Speaker 5: him when he wants to bring it up again, exactly

1283
00:54:27,040 --> 00:54:29,279
Speaker 5: because if you force him to, he's going to get

1284
00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:31,720
Speaker 5: even more resentful and he's gonna be even more upset

1285
00:54:31,760 --> 00:54:33,840
Speaker 5: with the family than he probably is already going to

1286
00:54:33,880 --> 00:54:36,960
Speaker 5: be after knowing that they told her before he was ready,

1287
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:39,680
Speaker 5: when it's kind of his thing to tell. Yeah. But

1288
00:54:39,719 --> 00:54:41,919
Speaker 5: the therapy, is think is very important, but it's also

1289
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:43,840
Speaker 5: like difficult if they'd live in a part of the

1290
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:47,120
Speaker 5: world with therapy isn't accepted, because I've had friends who

1291
00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:49,600
Speaker 5: are going through stuff and they're scared to go to

1292
00:54:49,680 --> 00:54:51,879
Speaker 5: therapy because like if people find at home find out,

1293
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:53,680
Speaker 5: then they're going to think I'm broken, They're going to

1294
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:56,800
Speaker 5: think all the less about me. Yeah, And in places

1295
00:54:56,800 --> 00:54:59,959
Speaker 5: where like there's such a strong like focus on commu

1296
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:02,560
Speaker 5: like it seems that there is here that can be

1297
00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:05,960
Speaker 5: in some people's mind's worse than actually living through the trauma.

1298
00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:09,000
Speaker 8: Yeah. I think Also I was talking to a friend

1299
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:12,000
Speaker 8: about this about they were interested in looking into therapy,

1300
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:13,440
Speaker 8: but a lot of people have been telling them that

1301
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:16,000
Speaker 8: who weren't going to therapy, and they were saying, like,

1302
00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:18,759
Speaker 8: it's really annoying when people who aren't in therapy tell

1303
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:20,600
Speaker 8: me to do it. Ah, and like when people who

1304
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:22,560
Speaker 8: are in therapy, it's like I'm more receptive. So it's

1305
00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:24,040
Speaker 8: you know, are you in therapy?

1306
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:24,239
Speaker 1: Op?

1307
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:26,560
Speaker 8: Do you know anybody who's in therapy that like could

1308
00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:28,600
Speaker 8: talk to him about that, you know about the benefits,

1309
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:31,719
Speaker 8: so that you actually have someone who has experienced going

1310
00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:34,239
Speaker 8: to it and has seen how helpful it is.

1311
00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:38,360
Speaker 5: I think a lot of the stigma around therapy is

1312
00:55:38,440 --> 00:55:41,160
Speaker 5: going away now, yeah, because mental health is now being

1313
00:55:41,239 --> 00:55:44,800
Speaker 5: talked about. It's being more accepted, especially with like minority

1314
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:48,319
Speaker 5: communities where mental health isn't talked about. It's seen as

1315
00:55:48,360 --> 00:55:50,399
Speaker 5: like if you again go to therapy, there's something wrong

1316
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:52,879
Speaker 5: with you. But now like a lot of companies, through

1317
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:54,680
Speaker 5: insurance and stuff, are willing to like, Okay, you can

1318
00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:59,000
Speaker 5: get this amount of therapy paid for. So it's a step,

1319
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:02,480
Speaker 5: but I feel like it's not enough. Yeah yet, No,

1320
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:05,319
Speaker 5: we're getting there, but I'd like therapy is to go

1321
00:56:05,360 --> 00:56:07,279
Speaker 5: back to the story. I think the best thing for

1322
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:08,040
Speaker 5: Scott asolutely.

1323
00:56:08,239 --> 00:56:11,600
Speaker 8: There are some comments comment one, Jay is absolutely a

1324
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:14,200
Speaker 8: better man than me times a thousand op From what

1325
00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:16,839
Speaker 8: I gathered from Jay's family, Beth never really voiced out

1326
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:19,920
Speaker 8: that she blamed Jay for Rosie's passing. However, she became

1327
00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:22,560
Speaker 8: cold toward him to the point of almost ignoring him

1328
00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:26,319
Speaker 8: during family gatherings before they moved. Of course, everyone knew

1329
00:56:26,360 --> 00:56:28,640
Speaker 8: what it was all about. And then a person replied,

1330
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:31,120
Speaker 8: I think it's probably much more complicated than that. Grief

1331
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:33,239
Speaker 8: like this isn't really an A plus B equal C

1332
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:36,600
Speaker 8: situation like, oh, she's being cold, so clearly she blames him.

1333
00:56:36,640 --> 00:56:38,759
Speaker 8: To have a little empathy for her, I'd say it's

1334
00:56:38,800 --> 00:56:41,839
Speaker 8: a combination of grief, pain, and guilt that caused her

1335
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:44,600
Speaker 8: to withdraw from her brother, Like obviously the blame is

1336
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:47,040
Speaker 8: really assigned to the driver, not the child who had

1337
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:49,319
Speaker 8: a split second reaction to be selfless and brave. But

1338
00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:52,160
Speaker 8: now all those feelings and people are intertwined, and you

1339
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:54,480
Speaker 8: can't look at your little brother without wishing your daughter

1340
00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:56,440
Speaker 8: was still there, and how you weren't there to protect

1341
00:56:56,480 --> 00:56:58,760
Speaker 8: her and if you were, it would have turned out differently.

1342
00:56:58,800 --> 00:57:00,799
Speaker 8: And maybe there's also guilt of not being able to

1343
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:04,480
Speaker 8: protect him because he was in a coma. Yeah, situations

1344
00:57:04,520 --> 00:57:07,800
Speaker 8: like this devastate families. It sounds like Jade didn't receive

1345
00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:10,360
Speaker 8: adequate support at the time from anyone in the family,

1346
00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:12,640
Speaker 8: and they really let him down in that regard. But

1347
00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:15,040
Speaker 8: he's an adult now and can choose to take steps

1348
00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:17,760
Speaker 8: towards healing. It'll be painful all over again, but it

1349
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:20,040
Speaker 8: sounds like he's been getting dragged through life by this

1350
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:23,720
Speaker 8: and he needs to know he still deserves relief. Comment

1351
00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:25,600
Speaker 8: two says, don't bring it up to him, let him

1352
00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:27,480
Speaker 8: come to you when he's ready. He might get pissed

1353
00:57:27,480 --> 00:57:29,720
Speaker 8: that they told you, because that is his story to

1354
00:57:29,760 --> 00:57:31,800
Speaker 8: tell you when he's ready. Hope. He says, Yeah, this

1355
00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:33,640
Speaker 8: is what I was leaning toward as well. I just

1356
00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:36,160
Speaker 8: hope it happens sooner so is pain and sadness don't

1357
00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:39,000
Speaker 8: consume him any more than they already have, and replies says,

1358
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:40,880
Speaker 8: I do agree that you probably should wait till he

1359
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:43,120
Speaker 8: brings it up himself, which might be sooner than later.

1360
00:57:43,320 --> 00:57:45,680
Speaker 8: Before you decide to have children together, you have to

1361
00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:48,200
Speaker 8: have this talk. Don't just assume having his own kids

1362
00:57:48,200 --> 00:57:50,840
Speaker 8: will magically heal him. It might make him worse, cause

1363
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:53,320
Speaker 8: him to doubt himself and his abilities all over again.

1364
00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:55,320
Speaker 8: But I also don't see him bringing this up on

1365
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:58,040
Speaker 8: his own, his darkest secret, his greatest shame and failure

1366
00:57:58,120 --> 00:57:59,840
Speaker 8: to the one person he would never want to look

1367
00:57:59,880 --> 00:58:02,040
Speaker 8: at them and differently, you bringing up kids and your

1368
00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:04,320
Speaker 8: concerns around them will bring this issue to the forefront.

1369
00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:06,680
Speaker 8: If you were at this correctly, you could approach him

1370
00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:09,160
Speaker 8: yourself with this. I think you should. I think I

1371
00:58:09,240 --> 00:58:12,880
Speaker 8: kind of disagree with the comment saying the guests you've

1372
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:16,280
Speaker 8: already been told. Say something that addresses all his fears

1373
00:58:16,320 --> 00:58:19,120
Speaker 8: directed anger, but is also full of empathy, coming from

1374
00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:21,840
Speaker 8: a place of love and healing. Maybe remind him, despite

1375
00:58:21,880 --> 00:58:23,800
Speaker 8: how he feels, you are the one person he should

1376
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:25,560
Speaker 8: be able to talk about this with, to cry with.

1377
00:58:25,720 --> 00:58:28,520
Speaker 8: You're his person and he's yours. You know he's in pain,

1378
00:58:28,600 --> 00:58:30,400
Speaker 8: and you can't just do nothing. If he was in

1379
00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:32,520
Speaker 8: your place, ask him what he would do. I still

1380
00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:34,240
Speaker 8: think you should wait, but I fear that he will

1381
00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:36,960
Speaker 8: never bring up this on his own if his family

1382
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:38,960
Speaker 8: hadn't already known. I doubt he would have told them.

1383
00:58:39,040 --> 00:58:41,920
Speaker 8: I'm so sorry. Ope, your story breaks my heart and

1384
00:58:41,960 --> 00:58:44,120
Speaker 8: I wish you the best. Please while you were waiting,

1385
00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:46,200
Speaker 8: just keep in mind what I said. It might become

1386
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:49,520
Speaker 8: relevant one day And there is an update Part one

1387
00:58:49,680 --> 00:58:52,720
Speaker 8: the confession. Since learning about Rosie and posting here and

1388
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:55,040
Speaker 8: read it, I've been so conflicted about what to do.

1389
00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:57,440
Speaker 8: A lot of you had opposing opinions, and all of

1390
00:58:57,480 --> 00:58:59,800
Speaker 8: them had merit, But knowing Jay and how he'd most

1391
00:58:59,880 --> 00:59:02,360
Speaker 8: likely react, I chose to keep it a secret until

1392
00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:04,080
Speaker 8: I find the perfect time, which you know, I mean,

1393
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:06,960
Speaker 8: you know him better. So what I didn't anticipate was

1394
00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:09,280
Speaker 8: that the perfect time would come in the form of

1395
00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:13,320
Speaker 8: a pregnancy scare. Maybe is that the perfect time is that,

1396
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:17,480
Speaker 8: back in January had a false positive. Everything happened so

1397
00:59:17,640 --> 00:59:20,440
Speaker 8: quickly within a day. I had to roll acoaster of emotions,

1398
00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:22,840
Speaker 8: but bottom line was that I'm not pregnant after all.

1399
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:24,840
Speaker 8: When Jay got back home that night, I knew I

1400
00:59:24,880 --> 00:59:27,000
Speaker 8: had to tell him everything. I told him I had

1401
00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:29,680
Speaker 8: a pregnancy scare, but he has nothing to worry about

1402
00:59:29,720 --> 00:59:32,040
Speaker 8: since it ended up being negative. At that moment, I

1403
00:59:32,080 --> 00:59:34,200
Speaker 8: saw all the blood drained from his face and He

1404
00:59:34,240 --> 00:59:36,640
Speaker 8: became so pale that I was worried he was going

1405
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:39,240
Speaker 8: to faint. I was holding his hand. He became so

1406
00:59:39,400 --> 00:59:42,400
Speaker 8: sweaty and cold and shaky. He rushed to our refrigerator

1407
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:44,360
Speaker 8: to get some water, and it was obvious he was

1408
00:59:44,400 --> 00:59:47,080
Speaker 8: spiraling really hard. That was when I told him I

1409
00:59:47,160 --> 00:59:50,120
Speaker 8: knew about Rosie. I'm gonna be honest. I mean, it

1410
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:51,600
Speaker 8: came out probably fine.

1411
00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:51,880
Speaker 1: M hm.

1412
00:59:52,080 --> 00:59:53,919
Speaker 8: I feel like that was the best time.

1413
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:56,200
Speaker 1: No, that's absolutely the worst time, because that's when he's.

1414
00:59:56,040 --> 00:59:59,120
Speaker 8: Like already having like a like maybe a panic attack. Yeah,

1415
00:59:59,120 --> 01:00:00,840
Speaker 8: it came clean because because I knew that was what

1416
01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:03,320
Speaker 8: he was panicking about. I assured him that I'm by

1417
01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:05,960
Speaker 8: his side and he could react however he wanted to it.

1418
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:08,960
Speaker 8: I repeatedly apologized for disrespecting his trust and lying to

1419
01:00:09,040 --> 01:00:11,080
Speaker 8: him for weeks. I also asked him to please not

1420
01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:13,200
Speaker 8: be mad at his family, because they meant well when

1421
01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:15,200
Speaker 8: they told me. Throughout all of it, I couldn't really

1422
01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:17,760
Speaker 8: read Jay's expressions. I wasn't sure if he was about

1423
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:20,640
Speaker 8: to scream out of anger or burst into tears. I

1424
01:00:20,720 --> 01:00:22,240
Speaker 8: told him that we don't have to talk about it

1425
01:00:22,280 --> 01:00:24,560
Speaker 8: any further if he doesn't want to, but I'd be

1426
01:00:24,600 --> 01:00:27,000
Speaker 8: willing to listen and support him whenever he's ready. His

1427
01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:29,400
Speaker 8: only response that time was him asking me if I

1428
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:31,720
Speaker 8: wanted to break up with him, oh, which confused me.

1429
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:34,280
Speaker 8: I told him, of course not. Then we hugged and

1430
01:00:34,360 --> 01:00:36,680
Speaker 8: he said he needs some time to process everything before

1431
01:00:36,720 --> 01:00:38,840
Speaker 8: we discuss it, which I respected. For the rest of

1432
01:00:38,880 --> 01:00:41,160
Speaker 8: the week, we try to interact like nothing happened, but

1433
01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:45,440
Speaker 8: everything was awkward since there is this huge thing hanging

1434
01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:47,920
Speaker 8: between us and there is a part two to this

1435
01:00:48,080 --> 01:00:53,320
Speaker 8: update the talk, But any other thoughts before we jump

1436
01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:53,640
Speaker 8: into that.

1437
01:00:53,960 --> 01:00:56,840
Speaker 5: I can't imagine what this guy's going because on top

1438
01:00:56,880 --> 01:01:00,680
Speaker 5: of the oh god, I could have been that, which

1439
01:01:00,760 --> 01:01:02,080
Speaker 5: is stressful enough.

1440
01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:02,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's already.

1441
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:05,360
Speaker 8: It already comes with its own fears of stress.

1442
01:01:05,400 --> 01:01:06,320
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1443
01:01:06,360 --> 01:01:09,600
Speaker 5: But then to not only know that your girlfriend has

1444
01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:12,400
Speaker 5: been keeping this from you, yeah, for weeks, that your

1445
01:01:12,520 --> 01:01:14,000
Speaker 5: family told.

1446
01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:15,400
Speaker 8: Her without telling him.

1447
01:01:15,480 --> 01:01:18,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, and then just to have to relive it on

1448
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:20,720
Speaker 5: top of learning all this new information.

1449
01:01:20,960 --> 01:01:23,080
Speaker 8: Yeah, that was just that was that was a lot.

1450
01:01:23,360 --> 01:01:24,640
Speaker 8: That was a lot in that moment.

1451
01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:26,160
Speaker 1: Oh, I can't imagine what he's thinking.

1452
01:01:26,520 --> 01:01:28,560
Speaker 8: Durad says she probably should have waited for the panic

1453
01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:31,800
Speaker 8: attack to subside before revealing. But this conversation needed to

1454
01:01:31,840 --> 01:01:34,520
Speaker 8: happen before kids are on the table. Absolutely. I still

1455
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:37,040
Speaker 8: think if I were to give her retroactive advice, I

1456
01:01:37,040 --> 01:01:40,040
Speaker 8: would have said, do it, yeah, much sooner, like what

1457
01:01:40,240 --> 01:01:41,280
Speaker 8: you tell.

1458
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:44,240
Speaker 1: Him looking at this now, It would have lessened the blow.

1459
01:01:44,480 --> 01:01:45,840
Speaker 8: Yeah, and you would have been able to talk to

1460
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:47,920
Speaker 8: him while he was still kind of, you know, in

1461
01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:51,439
Speaker 8: a little bit more calm mind. Part two the talk

1462
01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:54,600
Speaker 8: the following weekend, which was eight days after we finally

1463
01:01:54,640 --> 01:01:57,920
Speaker 8: sat down and talked about everything, He started apologizing for

1464
01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:00,360
Speaker 8: not telling me sooner, but he revealed that his last

1465
01:02:00,360 --> 01:02:02,920
Speaker 8: girlfriend dumped him after he told her about Rosie.

1466
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:05,040
Speaker 1: What we Okay, that's insane.

1467
01:02:05,240 --> 01:02:07,160
Speaker 5: That's a lot the proper response to someone.

1468
01:02:08,560 --> 01:02:12,400
Speaker 8: Oh my god, Like it wasn't even dumped him because

1469
01:02:12,840 --> 01:02:14,360
Speaker 8: she found out that he didn't want to have kids

1470
01:02:14,400 --> 01:02:17,360
Speaker 8: after this trauma thing or this dramatic experience. It was

1471
01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:20,360
Speaker 8: dumped him after he told her about this. That's insane.

1472
01:02:20,440 --> 01:02:22,440
Speaker 8: He then told me that it was something that's been

1473
01:02:22,440 --> 01:02:25,280
Speaker 8: weighing him ever since, and he's confirmed that he never

1474
01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:28,520
Speaker 8: sought or received professional help. However, he said he's very

1475
01:02:28,640 --> 01:02:30,600
Speaker 8: much open to doing that, but he didn't think he's

1476
01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:32,840
Speaker 8: ready yet. He also said he's afraid to go down

1477
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:35,440
Speaker 8: that path because it might release some inner demons and

1478
01:02:35,520 --> 01:02:38,280
Speaker 8: drag me down with him. Another thing Jay told me

1479
01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:40,480
Speaker 8: was that ever since Rosie was born, he felt an

1480
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:44,280
Speaker 8: instant and deep connection and sense of responsibility for her,

1481
01:02:44,480 --> 01:02:46,439
Speaker 8: even when he was just a teenager at the time.

1482
01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:48,640
Speaker 8: He said that having Rosie in his life made him

1483
01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:50,840
Speaker 8: realize how much he wanted to be a father when

1484
01:02:50,880 --> 01:02:54,320
Speaker 8: he's older. However, since the incident, he's afraid of messing

1485
01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:56,960
Speaker 8: things up again, so he never really considered having kids

1486
01:02:57,040 --> 01:03:00,040
Speaker 8: from then on, despite really wanting to do so. I

1487
01:03:00,040 --> 01:03:01,960
Speaker 8: assured him that we're on the same page on this.

1488
01:03:02,120 --> 01:03:03,760
Speaker 8: Although I also want to have kids with him in

1489
01:03:03,760 --> 01:03:05,320
Speaker 8: the future, I don't want to force it on him

1490
01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:07,480
Speaker 8: when he's not yet ready. He also said that whenever

1491
01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:09,520
Speaker 8: he sees me with Anna, my niece, he gets kind

1492
01:03:09,560 --> 01:03:12,480
Speaker 8: of jealous because he wants to join us. Every time, However,

1493
01:03:12,560 --> 01:03:15,520
Speaker 8: he constantly reminds himself to keep his distance just to

1494
01:03:15,520 --> 01:03:17,200
Speaker 8: be safe. I told him he doesn't have to worry

1495
01:03:17,240 --> 01:03:19,320
Speaker 8: about that, and that he's more than welcome to join

1496
01:03:19,400 --> 01:03:21,160
Speaker 8: us if he wants to. I also told him that

1497
01:03:21,160 --> 01:03:23,560
Speaker 8: my sister and the rest of my family actually considers

1498
01:03:23,680 --> 01:03:26,160
Speaker 8: him a part of our family. Just to reassure him

1499
01:03:26,160 --> 01:03:28,640
Speaker 8: even more, Jay tried to lighten the mood by joking

1500
01:03:28,640 --> 01:03:30,440
Speaker 8: and saying, now that I know everything about him and

1501
01:03:30,480 --> 01:03:32,720
Speaker 8: still didn't break up with him, I could finally expect

1502
01:03:32,760 --> 01:03:36,720
Speaker 8: a proposal anytime soon. Sure. Yeah, we both had a

1503
01:03:36,720 --> 01:03:39,120
Speaker 8: good laugh, but we agreed to wait for his recovery

1504
01:03:39,120 --> 01:03:41,840
Speaker 8: first before getting engaged or discussing our future.

1505
01:03:41,880 --> 01:03:42,040
Speaker 5: Fan.

1506
01:03:42,160 --> 01:03:44,200
Speaker 8: What a healthy conversation.

1507
01:03:43,800 --> 01:03:45,800
Speaker 5: That went so much better than I thought it could have.

1508
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:48,240
Speaker 8: Yeah, I mean because he was in like a much

1509
01:03:48,240 --> 01:03:50,880
Speaker 8: better state of mind. Yeah than having a panic attack.

1510
01:03:51,120 --> 01:03:53,600
Speaker 5: He could have been angry. He could have been like

1511
01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:56,480
Speaker 5: I want to leave y. Yeah, you hid this from me.

1512
01:03:56,520 --> 01:03:59,320
Speaker 5: But no, No, it was surproprisingly immature conversation.

1513
01:03:59,360 --> 01:04:01,360
Speaker 8: Oh yeah, he was Okay, this is what happened. This

1514
01:04:01,440 --> 01:04:03,919
Speaker 8: is why I felt this way. I'm open to getting help.

1515
01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:06,360
Speaker 8: I just didn't know if I was ready. Yes, super

1516
01:04:06,440 --> 01:04:09,880
Speaker 8: super healthy conversation. But there is a part three. Beth, Beth,

1517
01:04:09,920 --> 01:04:11,720
Speaker 8: this is the sister. I was like, who's Beth. Oh

1518
01:04:11,720 --> 01:04:14,960
Speaker 8: that is the sister, Yes, who moved away. During our discussion.

1519
01:04:15,200 --> 01:04:18,200
Speaker 8: Jay also had another heartbreaking revelation. He said that during

1520
01:04:18,200 --> 01:04:21,160
Speaker 8: the height of the pandemic, Beth's husband, Brian, reached out

1521
01:04:21,160 --> 01:04:23,520
Speaker 8: to him. Brian said that Beth had the VID and

1522
01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:26,120
Speaker 8: was confined in a hospital, and that he was already

1523
01:04:26,160 --> 01:04:28,800
Speaker 8: running low on funds due to bills and unemployment. He

1524
01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:32,040
Speaker 8: also said that Beth had been almost catatonic since Rosie's passing.

1525
01:04:32,120 --> 01:04:34,720
Speaker 8: She had been resistant to any outside and professional help,

1526
01:04:34,760 --> 01:04:37,280
Speaker 8: but she was institutionalized for about a year after a

1527
01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:40,520
Speaker 8: self harming incident. For the past decade, she's been cold, distant,

1528
01:04:40,560 --> 01:04:43,560
Speaker 8: and withdrawn from society. Apparently the rest of Jay's family

1529
01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:46,120
Speaker 8: also knew about this, but again they just swept it

1530
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:48,760
Speaker 8: under the rug. It seems like this family does that

1531
01:04:48,840 --> 01:04:51,720
Speaker 8: a lot, and it's not helpful to anyone involved.

1532
01:04:52,240 --> 01:04:57,160
Speaker 5: It's that thing of where we don't want to confront it. Yeah,

1533
01:04:57,200 --> 01:04:59,440
Speaker 5: so we put it off to the side until there

1534
01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:02,680
Speaker 5: is a point where it goes away or it gets

1535
01:05:02,720 --> 01:05:04,440
Speaker 5: to the point where we can no longer ignore it.

1536
01:05:04,520 --> 01:05:05,760
Speaker 1: Which is it's not healthy.

1537
01:05:05,840 --> 01:05:10,120
Speaker 8: It's not healthy for anyone. It wasn't healthy for Opie's boyfriend,

1538
01:05:10,120 --> 01:05:12,520
Speaker 8: and it wasn't healthy for Beth, who probably felt like

1539
01:05:12,600 --> 01:05:15,439
Speaker 8: she you know, she moved away, and then I'm sure

1540
01:05:15,480 --> 01:05:17,680
Speaker 8: that a lot of her family kind of didn't feel

1541
01:05:17,720 --> 01:05:20,120
Speaker 8: like they could talk to her, so they just didn't try,

1542
01:05:20,400 --> 01:05:23,160
Speaker 8: and so that's so isolating. To be fair, they had

1543
01:05:23,200 --> 01:05:26,400
Speaker 8: been helping Brian by sending financial aid to support Beth,

1544
01:05:26,480 --> 01:05:28,360
Speaker 8: but their version of the story was that Beth had

1545
01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:30,640
Speaker 8: just gone low contact since they moved. Also, to be

1546
01:05:30,760 --> 01:05:33,200
Speaker 8: very clear, Jay said that Beth never blamed him for

1547
01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:35,920
Speaker 8: what happened to Rosie, although he initially felt that way

1548
01:05:35,960 --> 01:05:37,840
Speaker 8: when he was younger. It was more of their parents

1549
01:05:37,920 --> 01:05:41,040
Speaker 8: interpreting and spinning things a certain way to avoid tarnishing

1550
01:05:41,120 --> 01:05:43,920
Speaker 8: their family's reputation. But when Brian reached out to him

1551
01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:47,600
Speaker 8: directly years ago, he started to understand better. However, he

1552
01:05:47,720 --> 01:05:51,040
Speaker 8: still hasn't processed everything, and he still partly blames himself

1553
01:05:51,080 --> 01:05:53,040
Speaker 8: for the whole thing, and there is a part for

1554
01:05:53,360 --> 01:05:57,240
Speaker 8: but again the family misinterpreting things and not talking to

1555
01:05:57,280 --> 01:06:01,800
Speaker 8: Beth and then putting that kind of misinterpretation on uh

1556
01:06:01,840 --> 01:06:03,680
Speaker 8: on too uh Jay.

1557
01:06:04,240 --> 01:06:04,800
Speaker 1: Part four.

1558
01:06:05,280 --> 01:06:08,720
Speaker 8: Our current situation for now, what we're exploring is couples

1559
01:06:08,760 --> 01:06:11,120
Speaker 8: therapy so we can discuss our mutual issues in a

1560
01:06:11,160 --> 01:06:14,560
Speaker 8: safe and pressure free space and hopefully kind of ease

1561
01:06:14,640 --> 01:06:16,840
Speaker 8: him into the world of therapy. That's great because then

1562
01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:18,080
Speaker 8: it's like you're there too.

1563
01:06:18,760 --> 01:06:20,920
Speaker 1: He doesn't feel alone. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

1564
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:23,160
Speaker 8: We've already found the perfect therapist to help us, and

1565
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:25,840
Speaker 8: we've now had six sessions with her. From what I

1566
01:06:25,880 --> 01:06:28,400
Speaker 8: can tell, Jay seems a lot happier and less burdened.

1567
01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:30,960
Speaker 8: We've also had homework from our session, and Jay was

1568
01:06:31,000 --> 01:06:32,760
Speaker 8: even the one reminding me to do them.

1569
01:06:33,080 --> 01:06:35,120
Speaker 1: This guy's just green flags all the way down right.

1570
01:06:35,360 --> 01:06:37,160
Speaker 8: This is so I mean, it was such a sad story,

1571
01:06:37,160 --> 01:06:39,360
Speaker 8: but like so much progress and so much you know,

1572
01:06:39,520 --> 01:06:41,800
Speaker 8: great work done. Right now, I'm just hoping that he

1573
01:06:41,840 --> 01:06:44,400
Speaker 8: becomes ready enough to up about Rosie so he can

1574
01:06:44,440 --> 01:06:47,200
Speaker 8: heal and recover from his trauma. Not for me, but

1575
01:06:47,240 --> 01:06:49,960
Speaker 8: for his mental and emotional well being. No rush though,

1576
01:06:50,120 --> 01:06:52,800
Speaker 8: all in his own time. Also, Jay is no social media,

1577
01:06:52,880 --> 01:06:54,800
Speaker 8: but I showed him the original Breddit post I made.

1578
01:06:54,880 --> 01:06:57,120
Speaker 8: He spent like three hours reading through all the comments.

1579
01:06:57,200 --> 01:06:58,880
Speaker 8: It was the first time I saw him get teary

1580
01:06:58,960 --> 01:07:01,880
Speaker 8: eyed because he never expected so many people giving him

1581
01:07:01,880 --> 01:07:04,960
Speaker 8: support and saying kind words. He was extremely overwhelmed by

1582
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:07,600
Speaker 8: everyone's kindness. So we're both grateful to all of you

1583
01:07:07,680 --> 01:07:10,280
Speaker 8: for that. We also saw some TikTok and YouTube versions

1584
01:07:10,280 --> 01:07:12,560
Speaker 8: of the story, and you bet Jay browse through all

1585
01:07:12,600 --> 01:07:15,680
Speaker 8: of them. He's still baffled. Why the TikTok versions have Minecraft.

1586
01:07:15,840 --> 01:07:18,280
Speaker 1: Oh god, that's crazy.

1587
01:07:18,360 --> 01:07:23,320
Speaker 8: This is a crazy story. It's like talking about drama

1588
01:07:23,400 --> 01:07:27,160
Speaker 8: and losing a child and it's just freaking Minecraft Parkour.

1589
01:07:27,520 --> 01:07:28,520
Speaker 1: It's brain rot.

1590
01:07:29,280 --> 01:07:32,000
Speaker 8: But you know what's not brain rot? Listening to fall

1591
01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:35,160
Speaker 8: episodes of stories just like this. Just go to Spotify,

1592
01:07:35,200 --> 01:07:37,560
Speaker 8: Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast happen such a cocky

1593
01:07:37,560 --> 01:07:40,200
Speaker 8: story time. So there, if you've made it this far

1594
01:07:40,240 --> 01:07:42,480
Speaker 8: into our story, thank you for your time. I have

1595
01:07:42,520 --> 01:07:44,000
Speaker 8: a good feeling that Jane and I are going to

1596
01:07:44,040 --> 01:07:46,040
Speaker 8: be fine. I think so. We still have a lot

1597
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:48,280
Speaker 8: of challenges ahead of us, but here's to open for

1598
01:07:48,400 --> 01:07:50,400
Speaker 8: the best and edit. So, Jay and I are now

1599
01:07:50,480 --> 01:07:52,720
Speaker 8: kind of sharing this account. He might reply directly from

1600
01:07:52,720 --> 01:07:54,720
Speaker 8: time to time. This is his first time on Reddit,

1601
01:07:54,800 --> 01:07:58,120
Speaker 8: so please be kind to him. Yeah, we're both reading everything,

1602
01:07:58,200 --> 01:08:01,640
Speaker 8: and thank you again for being so And that is

1603
01:08:01,720 --> 01:08:04,120
Speaker 8: for real, the end of that story.