1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:03,920 Speaker 1: All right, guys, it's time now for today's Strawberry Letter 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:08,920 Speaker 1: and listen. If you need advice on relationship, sex, dating, work, parenting, 3 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:12,440 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM 4 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:15,600 Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be 5 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:18,360 Speaker 1: reading your letter live on the air, just like we're 6 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:21,680 Speaker 1: gonna read this one right here, right now. Buckle up 7 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,799 Speaker 1: and hold on tight. We got it for you. Hiberti 8 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:28,000 Speaker 1: A Strawberry Letter, Thank nephew. Subject my mom and my 9 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:31,160 Speaker 1: baby daddy. Dear Stephen Shirley. I have known my baby 10 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 1: daddy since high school. When I was twenty, I got 11 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:37,520 Speaker 1: pregnant and we moved in together. But he cheated a lot, 12 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: so when my son was six, we broke up and 13 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:43,760 Speaker 1: my mom offered to let him live with her temporarily. 14 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:47,480 Speaker 1: My son is sixteen now and my baby daddy still 15 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:51,080 Speaker 1: lives with my mom. My mom has seven sisters that 16 00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:54,720 Speaker 1: are very messy and they're They've always joked with my 17 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:57,319 Speaker 1: mom about having a fine young man living with her. 18 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 1: One of my aunts has said for years is that 19 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:03,280 Speaker 1: she's one hundred percent sure that my mom and baby 20 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 1: daddy are messing around. She swears that my mom got 21 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 1: drunk at a house party and went into the bathroom 22 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 1: with my baby daddy for close to twenty minutes and 23 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 1: came out bragging about how good he was. Over the years, 24 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: I heard stuff like, how's your mama and baby Daddy. 25 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:19,919 Speaker 1: One of my older aunts finally told me the truth, 26 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,679 Speaker 1: but I didn't want to believe it. She said that 27 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:25,959 Speaker 1: my mom told her she really likes my baby daddy 28 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:29,360 Speaker 1: and it's way more than a sugar mama thing. She said, 29 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 1: my mom feels terrible about it, and she's not going 30 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,759 Speaker 1: to stop having sex with him or put him out 31 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:38,759 Speaker 1: the short A short while after that, my baby daddy 32 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,480 Speaker 1: came over to see our son and he had been drinking. 33 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,760 Speaker 1: They were playing video games and my baby daddy's phone rang. 34 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:47,919 Speaker 1: My son heard him say I love you too, baby, 35 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:50,760 Speaker 1: and I'll be home after I beat your grandson in 36 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 1: one more game. My son tried to fight his daddy 37 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,040 Speaker 1: and I had to get between them. My baby daddy 38 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 1: told my son he teach him about being a man 39 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: later and how stuff like this just happened. I tell 40 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:07,680 Speaker 1: my son that's not what manhood is about, and how 41 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:10,400 Speaker 1: do I fix this for my son? I'm hurt too. 42 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:14,720 Speaker 1: But I'm more worried about him. This is really sad. 43 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:18,919 Speaker 1: I mean, this is a horrible, horrible situation here. I mean, 44 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 1: your your mom did the ultimate betrayal. And I could 45 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 1: see why you didn't want to hear the truth because 46 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,960 Speaker 1: you probably already suspected in any way, but you didn't 47 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 1: want to hear it because this is your mother. It's unthinkable. 48 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 1: I mean, you know you're you're beyond mad at this point. 49 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,120 Speaker 1: I know you want to fight her. You want to 50 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 1: fight your mom, and you probably would if it wasn't 51 00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 1: your mom. I mean, this is not what a mom 52 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:47,920 Speaker 1: does to her daughter. This mom don't do this. Uh, 53 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:51,240 Speaker 1: and and to her grandson for that matter. I mean, 54 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:54,120 Speaker 1: both of them are to blame. Of course, the baby daddy, 55 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:58,239 Speaker 1: oh my god. But it's just it's hard to get 56 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 1: over this kind of hurt. It's hard. It doesn't matter 57 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 1: if you and the baby daddy were no longer together, 58 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:07,520 Speaker 1: that doesn't even matter at this point. It's just wrong. Okay, 59 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 1: you told your son right when you said that this 60 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,920 Speaker 1: is not what manhood is about. His father is a 61 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:17,840 Speaker 1: very poor example of manhood. How can he date his 62 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:23,200 Speaker 1: son's grandmother and his mother? I mean, stuff like that. 63 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 1: It just doesn't happen. So he told him wrong. So 64 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 1: you know, he's teaching his son that men have no 65 00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:37,280 Speaker 1: control over themselves or they just you know, if it's okay, 66 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 1: if they date their mom and their grandmother, that's okay. No, 67 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:45,560 Speaker 1: that's not okay. It's just really wrong. You you know. 68 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:49,800 Speaker 1: My suggestion is to, I don't know, get your son 69 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 1: to a mentor, a real good mentor a good example 70 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 1: of what a man should be in his life, so 71 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 1: he could show them what it really is all about. 72 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 1: It's not what his father father is talking about, not 73 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:04,720 Speaker 1: this mess, but I mean that. That is my suggestion 74 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:08,520 Speaker 1: to you talk more to your son, you know, about 75 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 1: this situation, because I'm sure he's upset, and why would 76 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:13,920 Speaker 1: his dad say that in front of him anyway, to 77 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:17,560 Speaker 1: his grandmother, you know, this is just a mess. But 78 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:21,279 Speaker 1: I would look into a mentor some man that will 79 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:24,400 Speaker 1: be a shining example to what a man should be 80 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:28,919 Speaker 1: for your son. Steve Okay Sherley, I agree. I agree. 81 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:32,040 Speaker 1: I have so many problems in this letter. At first 82 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:34,800 Speaker 1: I was going to joke about it, but then it 83 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:39,919 Speaker 1: turned really seriously because there's this little boy involved. Y'all, adults, 84 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:43,440 Speaker 1: I don't care what y'all do, but I do care 85 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:48,080 Speaker 1: about what adults do in front of children, and especially men, 86 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 1: because men, we've you just have to do a better 87 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:56,920 Speaker 1: job of setting examples for our sons, you know. I mean, 88 00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:00,280 Speaker 1: it's for the little things. It's okay to tell your 89 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:02,920 Speaker 1: son not to cry, but you also have to inform 90 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 1: him that it's okay to cry, you know what I mean. 91 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 1: That has to be a balance. You know. Listen, you 92 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 1: got pregnant when you was twenty with your high school sweetheart, 93 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 1: and y'all moved in together. But he cheated a lot. 94 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,360 Speaker 1: The letter just takes a turn right away. So when 95 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 1: my son was six, we broke up and my mom offered, 96 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 1: and my mom offered to let him live with her temporarily. 97 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:34,839 Speaker 1: Wait a minute, hold up, I'm confused. You and your 98 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:39,120 Speaker 1: boyfriend break up and you have a baby, your mom 99 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,920 Speaker 1: offers to let him come live with her. Why aren't 100 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,720 Speaker 1: you and the boy go live with your mama? That's 101 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:47,279 Speaker 1: normally high go in the normal scope of things. The 102 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,520 Speaker 1: daughter goes with her mom with her son, so she 103 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:53,680 Speaker 1: would have some help, and you know, and let this 104 00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:59,080 Speaker 1: dude fend for herself. That's all that was, so I 105 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:02,600 Speaker 1: was confused by that. Well, my son is now sixteen, 106 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:06,520 Speaker 1: and my baby daddy still lived with his mom. My 107 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,440 Speaker 1: mom has seven sisters. They're very messing. They've always joked 108 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,520 Speaker 1: with my mom about having a fine young man living 109 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 1: with her. Excuse me, he left when he was six. 110 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 1: Your son, sister, he been at your mama house ten years? Right? 111 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:27,160 Speaker 1: Ten years? Who need ten years to get on their feet? Who? Yeah, 112 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:34,160 Speaker 1: anybody can pull it together in ten years too. I'm confused. 113 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 1: I have more when we come back. But this is 114 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:44,680 Speaker 1: tri Yeah, it really is bad. It's bad. All right, Steve. 115 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,720 Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response coming up at 116 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour. My mom and my 117 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:52,440 Speaker 1: baby Daddy. We'll get back into it right after this. 118 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:57,200 Speaker 1: You're listening Steve Morning Show. All right, Come on, Steve, 119 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,840 Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry letters subject my mom and my 120 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:05,400 Speaker 1: baby Daddy. Well, this young lady twenty years old, got 121 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,040 Speaker 1: pregnant by her high school sweetheart to move there together. 122 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 1: He cheated a lot, so when their son was six, 123 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:14,520 Speaker 1: they broke up and her mother offered to let him 124 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:18,480 Speaker 1: live with her temporarily. Like I said earlier, that's backward 125 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:21,400 Speaker 1: usually the girl and the baby go stay with one 126 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,680 Speaker 1: of their parents so they can have some help and 127 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 1: assistance and let the guy go feed for himself. That 128 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 1: was backwards already. Well, my son is sixteen nine. My 129 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:34,080 Speaker 1: baby Daddy's still live with his mom, with your mama, 130 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:37,280 Speaker 1: that's ten years. He been at your mama's house for 131 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:40,480 Speaker 1: ten years now. If she was honestly trying to help 132 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,720 Speaker 1: him out in the beginning, she's been helping him for 133 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 1: ten years. Has she been helping her daughter and her 134 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 1: grandchild or she just helping him? This sucks, man. Now, 135 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 1: my mom has seven sisters that are very messy, and 136 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:01,239 Speaker 1: they've always joked with Mama Mom about having a fine 137 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,960 Speaker 1: young man living with her. Well, let me throw this in. 138 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:07,400 Speaker 1: If your mom got seven sisters that are messy, ain't 139 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:10,360 Speaker 1: your Ain't your mamma wanted your sisters? Ain't she from 140 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:14,680 Speaker 1: a messy family? Starting to sound like the story to me. 141 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:18,080 Speaker 1: If all seven of your sisters is messy, how does 142 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 1: she skip the messiness? She didn't? What are your aunts 143 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,360 Speaker 1: has saying for years? And she's one of hundred percent 144 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:28,680 Speaker 1: sure that my mom and baby daddy I'm messing around? Well, 145 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,840 Speaker 1: he'd been there ten years. Who living at this house 146 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 1: for ten years? And what now? She swears that my 147 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:41,000 Speaker 1: mom got drunk out of house party right there. See, 148 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 1: we were in a family that's still throwing house party. 149 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:51,240 Speaker 1: You see where this is going. There's no progression in 150 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:54,079 Speaker 1: this story at all. Your mama got drunk out of 151 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:57,679 Speaker 1: house party. How old are you to stop going to 152 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:01,080 Speaker 1: house parties and get drunk? See this this story ain't 153 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 1: got no upside And came and went to the then 154 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,480 Speaker 1: went into the bathroom with your baby daddy for close 155 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:11,800 Speaker 1: to twenty minutes, came out bragging about how good he was. 156 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:22,199 Speaker 1: You saw Boomerang. You you saw the movie when the 157 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:24,960 Speaker 1: late grade Witherspoon came out that bare room with that 158 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:30,640 Speaker 1: jacket inside out. You saw him occasion. I heard stuff 159 00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:33,400 Speaker 1: like how your mom and baby daddy. One of my 160 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 1: older aunts finally told me the truth, but I didn't 161 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:38,520 Speaker 1: want to believe her. What is it? You didn't want 162 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:42,439 Speaker 1: to believe one of the older aunts finally told her, 163 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,920 Speaker 1: and you didn't even want to believe it. Why he's 164 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:49,600 Speaker 1: been over that ten years? She said? Your mom told 165 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:51,800 Speaker 1: her she really likes my baby daddy, and it's more 166 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:55,199 Speaker 1: than the sugar mama thing. Okay, so she taking care 167 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:59,000 Speaker 1: of this boy, she said, My mom feels terrible about it, 168 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,439 Speaker 1: but she's not gonna sta having sexual in him or 169 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:04,360 Speaker 1: putting him out. Sure. A while after that, my baby 170 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:09,520 Speaker 1: daddy came over to see our son. He'd been drinking. Okay, 171 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,839 Speaker 1: See there's no progression in this story. Your baby daddy 172 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:15,440 Speaker 1: is still drinking. Your baby daddy's still live at home 173 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:20,440 Speaker 1: with your mama. Yo, boy, he'd been over that ten years. 174 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:24,840 Speaker 1: He thirty four. You got pregnant at twenty, Your husband 175 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:27,160 Speaker 1: was six twenty left. He'd been over that ten years. 176 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:34,000 Speaker 1: Your husband, thirty six years old, was six. Now the 177 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,880 Speaker 1: boy was six. The baby was six when he wouldn't 178 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,679 Speaker 1: live with your mama. He'd been over that ten years. 179 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:45,440 Speaker 1: You was pregnant at twenty. Your man is board. Your 180 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 1: baby's daddy, boy is thirty six and live with your 181 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:54,080 Speaker 1: mama that she taken care of, and she want to 182 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,959 Speaker 1: have sexual in machine putting him out. Then your baby 183 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 1: daddy came over to see our son. He was drinking. 184 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,480 Speaker 1: At thirty six, still drinking, still living home with your mama. 185 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:06,640 Speaker 1: They playing vidego games. My baby daddy phone rang. Your son, 186 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:10,319 Speaker 1: who is older, now heard him say I love you too, baby, 187 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:12,880 Speaker 1: and I'll be home after I'll beat your grandson and 188 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 1: one more guns. Then your son tried to fight his daddy. 189 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:20,000 Speaker 1: Why because your son know that's wrong. However, all your 190 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,920 Speaker 1: son is he already know his daddy wrong. For that, 191 00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:26,680 Speaker 1: I had to get between him. My baby. Daddy told 192 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,480 Speaker 1: my son he teach him about being a man. Laid on. 193 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:34,320 Speaker 1: When is he gonna teach him? He don't know. So 194 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:38,040 Speaker 1: this is a trifling mama. This is a trifling baby daddy. 195 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,640 Speaker 1: And so Shirley is correct. You gotta get a male 196 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:44,720 Speaker 1: mentor in front of this young man. And it's a 197 00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 1: damn shame that he gonna teach him about being a 198 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,480 Speaker 1: man later. And how stuff like this just happens. It 199 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 1: don't just happen. See anything that's been happening for ten years, 200 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:59,280 Speaker 1: don't just keep happening. At one point we on purpose. 201 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:03,520 Speaker 1: You can write to having sex off with your mama's 202 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:10,559 Speaker 1: your stepmama one time, but unless you've been drunk continuously 203 00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:17,840 Speaker 1: for ten years, you ain't had a sober moment in 204 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:22,160 Speaker 1: ten years to rethank this. I told my son that's 205 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:25,240 Speaker 1: not what manhood is about. You are absolutely correct. How 206 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:27,320 Speaker 1: do I fix this for my son. I'm hurt too, 207 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:30,880 Speaker 1: but I'm more worried about him. Get your son around 208 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,480 Speaker 1: some men, Get your son to church, Let him be 209 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:37,079 Speaker 1: around some solid people. He's got to have faith in 210 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:42,160 Speaker 1: this situation, and so do you. You may need counseling 211 00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:45,600 Speaker 1: and prayer, and you need to get yourself together so 212 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:49,960 Speaker 1: you and your son can move forward. And I don't 213 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,880 Speaker 1: know how you're going to address your mama with this, 214 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:56,320 Speaker 1: but something, something gotta get bought to light could act 215 00:12:56,400 --> 00:13:02,120 Speaker 1: like this is happening right here. Super Here's post your 216 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:05,760 Speaker 1: comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on 217 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:09,320 Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand, 218 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:12,240 Speaker 1: coming up at forty six minutes after Junior Sports Talk. 219 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:16,000 Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening to the Dave Harvey Morning 220 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:16,280 Speaker 1: Show