WEBVTT - Knotty Pine! 0:00:02.240 --> 0:00:04.760 I can't spend it tunity here. 0:00:05.040 --> 0:00:06.160 This place. 0:00:07.320 --> 0:00:10.000 It reads fish. 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:14.640 Get this? What is this? 0:00:15.680 --> 0:00:21.119 Naughty Pye. The Black Fat Fem Podcast is a production 0:00:21.200 --> 0:00:26.000 of iHeartRadio and Doctor John Paul LLC. Hey everyone, welcome 0:00:26.040 --> 0:00:28.800 to another episode of The Blackfatfem Podcast, where all the 0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:32.559 intersections of identity are celebrated. I am one of your hosts, 0:00:32.600 --> 0:00:35.200 John also known as Doctor John Paul. 0:00:35.880 --> 0:00:40.080 And you heard it at the top of the show. 0:00:40.120 --> 0:00:43.560 What you heard is not only the one and only 0:00:43.680 --> 0:00:47.880 Jessica Lane giving us an iconique performance as Fiona Good 0:00:48.440 --> 0:00:50.080 in America Horror Story. 0:00:50.640 --> 0:00:52.639 Mama had had it. 0:00:53.040 --> 0:00:56.440 She had reached her peak in that moment, she said, 0:00:56.880 --> 0:00:59.320 so for ya, okay, So let me for those who 0:00:59.320 --> 0:01:03.640 don't get the reference in her season, Mama was sent 0:01:03.720 --> 0:01:06.520 to hell for all this shit's and it's not lost 0:01:06.560 --> 0:01:09.920 on me that her name was Fiona Good even though 0:01:09.920 --> 0:01:13.200 she was the most evil person in that season of 0:01:13.280 --> 0:01:19.280 that show. But anyway, it's American Horror Story coming and literally, 0:01:19.319 --> 0:01:21.800 Mama was just given the energy that I'm given today. 0:01:22.000 --> 0:01:24.080 What is this not a pie? 0:01:26.240 --> 0:01:33.200 Because Nigga, we are in Hell. I asked folks last 0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:35.400 week if they could tell, like if they would tell 0:01:35.440 --> 0:01:37.920 me if we were really in hell, and people like 0:01:38.000 --> 0:01:40.200 responded back to me and was like, how do we 0:01:40.280 --> 0:01:40.720 not know? 0:01:40.959 --> 0:01:43.320 Like, yes, nigga, we are in hell. 0:01:43.480 --> 0:01:45.440 And so today I'm just sitting with the fact that, 0:01:46.800 --> 0:01:49.200 right I'm sitting with the fact that Jessica Lang told 0:01:49.280 --> 0:01:51.240 us that we what is this? 0:01:51.600 --> 0:01:52.600 Not a pie? 0:01:52.800 --> 0:01:56.160 Literally, I'm gonna be screaming at all weekend what is this? 0:01:56.840 --> 0:02:03.320 It takes me down every time. The way she said 0:02:03.360 --> 0:02:06.000 it was just so classic. But anyway, how are you 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:07.080 my sister? You know? 0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:11.960 I am that? So that's what you said? That was like, 0:02:12.000 --> 0:02:15.120 what the fuck? Does? It? Just shut me? But also 0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:17.079 and make me think of that pisode we did with XD, 0:02:17.240 --> 0:02:18.480 the Personal helpisode. 0:02:18.560 --> 0:02:20.400 I'm like, yeah, this is a good moment to bring 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:22.360 to bring that one back for them. 0:02:23.560 --> 0:02:27.080 Fam. It's Jordan ak your boo jo hoo aka giving 0:02:27.120 --> 0:02:31.560 us Ray Charles today. And at this point, I feel like. 0:02:31.600 --> 0:02:34.200 Twenty five I'm giving it. It's giving a switch up, 0:02:34.280 --> 0:02:37.680 like I need twenty twenty five. I'm going to I'm 0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:41.639 going to I don't really I'm gonna become masked. I'm 0:02:41.639 --> 0:02:44.679 gonna like, I'm like I'm start like playing football and 0:02:44.720 --> 0:02:47.119 ship and being like but the show. 0:02:47.320 --> 0:02:49.520 How we going to Black Firs film? If you. 0:02:51.720 --> 0:02:51.800 Like? 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:52.480 How's that going? 0:02:53.120 --> 0:02:55.000 I didn't think about that, bitch, I didn't. Deemi got 0:02:55.040 --> 0:03:01.200 me on that one show. No, No, I can't. Why 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:02.240 are you trying to limit me? 0:03:02.960 --> 0:03:05.480 I wouldn't say. I think you have to. It'll have 0:03:05.560 --> 0:03:08.040 to be a balance. You'll have to You'll have to 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:11.760 not you back in your. 0:03:16.400 --> 0:03:18.120 I think about that. Bas She really got on the 0:03:18.160 --> 0:03:22.239 one thing about that. How would I? Maybe you know what, 0:03:22.280 --> 0:03:25.200 Maybe I'll come in with like a queen. Maybe I'll 0:03:25.200 --> 0:03:28.240 get like vocal surgery and I'll be like, here. 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:34.960 You're still giving. Yeah, it'll be butch fam Okay. 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:35.960 It'll be giving. 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:40.400 It'll be who there's there's a drag queen, the bearded queen. 0:03:41.080 --> 0:03:42.840 It'll be Yeah, it'll be given that. 0:03:44.400 --> 0:03:48.160 I agree. I lives y'all. This this episode is gonna be 0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:48.960 a fun episode for you. 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:51.440 Today we're gonna we're gonna talk all about recapping the 0:03:51.480 --> 0:03:54.000 past year for close out the rest of twenty twenty. 0:03:55.120 --> 0:03:57.800 So this week to hairy segment, we're gonna honor our 0:03:57.840 --> 0:04:01.320 girl to Cambo and asked what did we really survive 0:04:01.440 --> 0:04:01.839 this year? 0:04:01.920 --> 0:04:04.320 How are we still here? Also broke this is real. 0:04:04.400 --> 0:04:07.840 Quick shout out to our good friend Trel Anderson because 0:04:07.960 --> 0:04:12.920 I had it into them last week event for a 0:04:13.320 --> 0:04:14.840 national sossion about juralists in l A. 0:04:15.440 --> 0:04:17.599 And the singer has just popped out. 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:20.720 I'm started screaming and pointing at me. 0:04:21.080 --> 0:04:25.279 Still that. 0:04:27.400 --> 0:04:27.679 Man. 0:04:27.880 --> 0:04:31.080 So but yeah, so we read about the way to 0:04:31.160 --> 0:04:36.720 what weakes about. I know, for me, I really survived, 0:04:36.920 --> 0:04:40.280 Like I don't want to get so deep with y'all, 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:43.520 but I'm like, I'm gonna deep with y'all. I survived 0:04:43.520 --> 0:04:46.640 a really challenging friend breakup, which is really hard. Like 0:04:47.000 --> 0:04:49.760 no one tells you friend breakups so hard. He can 0:04:49.920 --> 0:04:53.599 hurt worse than like real. I mean, yes, but they 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:55.960 are big as be rough because those are people that 0:04:56.040 --> 0:04:58.000 you think you think they're gonna be a rock. And 0:04:58.000 --> 0:05:01.320 this for this breakup really ten tested me. And I 0:05:01.400 --> 0:05:03.440 was worrying about what the fallout might be with the 0:05:03.560 --> 0:05:05.440 surrounding friends because they'd be a whole friend group and 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:07.680 we had like there's a dramma and the friend group 0:05:07.720 --> 0:05:09.280 and I wasn't part of this, Like yeah, that's why 0:05:09.279 --> 0:05:10.840 you can't have gays with your friends. Because these games 0:05:10.839 --> 0:05:15.280 were crazy. These games are trying to murder me. But 0:05:15.640 --> 0:05:17.480 as it dragged on and became more and more clear 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:19.800 that like, I only have a lot to fear when 0:05:19.800 --> 0:05:23.560 it came to this person, and are you bringing about 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:24.000 from make up? 0:05:24.040 --> 0:05:26.440 Like and did? It was a mess. 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:29.840 It was a lot of messiness, but it ended with 0:05:29.920 --> 0:05:33.160 both of us saying like, listen, like I care for you, 0:05:33.560 --> 0:05:35.320 and I hope you're gonna do well, but I just 0:05:35.400 --> 0:05:38.320 know that it's not it's it won't be healthy for 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:39.840 me to be a part of that growth for you 0:05:40.560 --> 0:05:41.640 and that posse o. 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:42.000 Pause. 0:05:42.080 --> 0:05:43.920 So I got I have I do have some messages. 0:05:43.920 --> 0:05:45.640 I'm gonna say, I want to get into some messages. 0:05:45.880 --> 0:05:49.080 I do have some questions. Okay, So my first question 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:53.000 is is this friend or I put quotations around friends. 0:05:53.320 --> 0:05:56.039 Is this the girl that you had mentioned about that 0:05:56.160 --> 0:05:59.120 story who wanted to sleep with the person that you 0:05:59.200 --> 0:05:59.960 were interested in? 0:06:00.120 --> 0:06:02.200 We know, first of all met Me and him are 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:06.200 not friends. 0:06:04.320 --> 0:06:10.680 Okay, colleagues and okay, okay, so you know I would 0:06:10.920 --> 0:06:13.920 never let some I've never let some like that. 0:06:14.279 --> 0:06:16.479 Okay, I know that's right. Okay, So I'm just trying. 0:06:16.760 --> 0:06:19.520 I'm asking questions from no, no, no, good question, good question. 0:06:19.800 --> 0:06:22.640 You and the other guy as well to let me 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:25.760 don't even sorry, because the other guy was still right. 0:06:26.640 --> 0:06:29.320 No, see, one one day we're gonna start. 0:06:29.640 --> 0:06:31.359 So one day we're gonna get in our bag and 0:06:31.360 --> 0:06:33.560 we will start a Patreon and then that'll be where 0:06:33.560 --> 0:06:38.320 we keep all those stories behind the actual paywall, so 0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:41.000 that way we don't get you or anybody else canceled. 0:06:41.080 --> 0:06:42.960 The other question that I have is have I ever 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:43.920 met this person? 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:45.240 You have not? You have not? 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:45.640 Okay? 0:06:45.720 --> 0:06:47.839 Good, okay, because I didn't want to have to go 0:06:47.920 --> 0:06:50.120 through my socials and delete them to no. 0:06:50.120 --> 0:06:52.280 No, I mean honestly, and I feel like if you 0:06:52.320 --> 0:06:54.000 have met them, like you wouldn't even wanted to up 0:06:54.000 --> 0:06:54.760 with them, Like. 0:06:55.000 --> 0:06:56.240 I probably would have clocked them up. 0:06:56.200 --> 0:07:01.880 Early for sure. Like it's just like they like their energy. 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:05.600 Their energy wouldn't have been welcoming. I think, like, uh, basically, what. 0:07:05.480 --> 0:07:09.240 You're saying, m okay, well good, I'm glad that you 0:07:09.320 --> 0:07:12.320 got them up out out of your energy. 0:07:12.680 --> 0:07:15.200 Was that? What was it that said, don't give a 0:07:15.240 --> 0:07:17.040 fuck up by my house and get the fuck up 0:07:17.040 --> 0:07:17.640 by my house? 0:07:18.080 --> 0:07:20.800 Yes, yes, yes, yeah, yes, Sometimes you got to tell 0:07:20.840 --> 0:07:22.320 people to grab their bags and go. 0:07:22.560 --> 0:07:24.280 You got you gotta hit them with the viola. 0:07:24.360 --> 0:07:27.240 Davis, you just gotta grab your bag and get up 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:29.600 and and you know, and kind of walk, you know 0:07:29.720 --> 0:07:33.920 a way. Sometimes it be that way sometimes, but I'm happy. 0:07:34.040 --> 0:07:36.880 I'll say this so for anybody listening, and also for you, 0:07:36.960 --> 0:07:39.520 Joe Hoo, this is just a word, you know. I 0:07:39.800 --> 0:07:42.600 So I made a note about this too, because as 0:07:42.640 --> 0:07:45.880 you're talking about this this year, I went through the 0:07:45.880 --> 0:07:47.800 same thing last year. There was somebody who I thought 0:07:47.840 --> 0:07:49.680 I wouldn't say I was close to, but I thought 0:07:49.720 --> 0:07:52.000 I was really cool with and then they hit me 0:07:52.040 --> 0:07:53.400 with a I don't think I want to be your 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:55.920 friend anymore. And I was like, oh shit, okay, So 0:07:55.960 --> 0:07:58.480 I remember that being it was actually two people, So 0:07:58.520 --> 0:08:00.320 I had two people hit me with that, and it 0:08:00.720 --> 0:08:02.960 did feel a little bit of a It felt like 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:04.960 a thing. But I think once you get over the 0:08:05.000 --> 0:08:07.239 hump of it, you kind of recognize, like, oh, okay, 0:08:07.480 --> 0:08:11.520 maybe there was something that you there's something about you 0:08:11.600 --> 0:08:15.960 and your light that triggered that person to become who 0:08:16.000 --> 0:08:18.400 they are, or maybe they were just a villain at 0:08:18.400 --> 0:08:22.080 the top of the story in general, and sometimes they 0:08:22.200 --> 0:08:24.080 just needed to be removed, and so you're just making 0:08:24.160 --> 0:08:26.960 room for other people you know, So. 0:08:26.320 --> 0:08:31.760 Now do I know the person that you had them? 0:08:33.200 --> 0:08:35.640 No, I don't think you know. I don't think you 0:08:35.720 --> 0:08:38.479 know either one of them. One person I was introduced 0:08:38.520 --> 0:08:42.080 to through another person, and then the other person was 0:08:42.120 --> 0:08:46.440 somebody that I knew from just general like my life 0:08:46.720 --> 0:08:49.800 working in student affairs. They were someone who had become 0:08:49.800 --> 0:08:52.160 my friend, and then over time I just started to 0:08:52.200 --> 0:08:55.319 realize that they were part of They were one of 0:08:55.360 --> 0:08:58.040 the people that were like feeding into kind of the 0:08:58.400 --> 0:09:03.760 They were feeding into a lot of the stuff that 0:09:03.920 --> 0:09:06.640 was happening, and and and to be clear, they were 0:09:06.679 --> 0:09:09.559 never nice to me. I always just was like I 0:09:09.559 --> 0:09:11.959 was always cordial to them, thinking that, okay, if I'm 0:09:12.000 --> 0:09:14.240 cordial to them, then you know, it won't create any 0:09:14.240 --> 0:09:16.120 other tensions than any of the others because we ran 0:09:16.200 --> 0:09:17.079 in the same spaces. 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:18.880 And then it'sicially just one day, I you. 0:09:18.800 --> 0:09:20.720 Know, I jumped in their inbox and I basically just 0:09:20.720 --> 0:09:22.679 went off and I said, you're a bum bitch, and 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:25.440 I know what you're doing, I know what you've been doing, 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:28.439 and you'll never be the girl you think you're going to. 0:09:28.400 --> 0:09:29.920 Be because of you are. 0:09:30.400 --> 0:09:33.120 It's you just gotta let people know you know, sometimes 0:09:33.160 --> 0:09:35.920 you just gotta let the niggas know what I will 0:09:35.960 --> 0:09:38.520 say to your point. So I appreciate you saying this 0:09:38.640 --> 0:09:41.040 because I think there are a lot of people who 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:43.920 are going into next year kind of reassess. It's funny 0:09:43.960 --> 0:09:47.280 because I was on on threads. I saw a thread 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:49.080 of this, of people being like, you know, you know, 0:09:49.360 --> 0:09:52.120 sometimes you got to clean up and clean out your space. 0:09:52.280 --> 0:09:54.840 And I've been thinking about that a lot. But what 0:09:54.880 --> 0:09:57.720 I will say for me, what I survived outside of 0:09:57.760 --> 0:10:00.400 the friendship thing, I think it really feeds into a 0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:06.640 lot of this year. I survived just being And I 0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:08.520 don't know how much you feel this, but I know 0:10:08.600 --> 0:10:10.360 I feel it, and I've talked to other creatives who 0:10:10.400 --> 0:10:12.800 feel this way. I feel like I survived being a 0:10:12.880 --> 0:10:15.560 creative in a really fucked up industry. And what I 0:10:15.640 --> 0:10:17.920 mean that is it's not even just fucking like it's 0:10:18.200 --> 0:10:21.800 it was fucked up before the pandemic, and then like 0:10:21.880 --> 0:10:24.600 the pandemic hit, and then like it got even more 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:27.360 fucked up, and then we had all of like the 0:10:27.600 --> 0:10:29.920 you know we had basically in twenty twenty three, we 0:10:29.960 --> 0:10:33.000 had the major shutdown of like people basically protesting and 0:10:33.760 --> 0:10:35.920 marching and saying like, yo, we need to be paid, right, 0:10:35.960 --> 0:10:38.160 and then we have the actual like shutdown of the 0:10:38.280 --> 0:10:40.040 entertainment industry and it just and it just and it 0:10:40.160 --> 0:10:43.560 feels like ever since, you know, everyone started talking about 0:10:43.600 --> 0:10:48.360 the strikes, more and more of like execs have become 0:10:48.440 --> 0:10:52.480 more and more awful and the ways that the system 0:10:52.520 --> 0:10:55.079 and when I say creative, I'm talking about movies, I'm 0:10:55.080 --> 0:10:57.640 talking about podcasting, I'm talking about there's anything in the 0:10:57.679 --> 0:11:01.000 creative circle, right, I feel like there are some execs. 0:11:01.040 --> 0:11:02.679 I don't want to say all execs, because there are 0:11:02.720 --> 0:11:06.400 some really good execs, some execs who I'm really close 0:11:06.520 --> 0:11:08.400 and good friends with and have had my back and 0:11:08.760 --> 0:11:11.400 it's one of the reasons why I'm still working, right, 0:11:12.120 --> 0:11:14.360 you know, shout out to Will, shout out to Miles, 0:11:14.360 --> 0:11:16.960 shout out to you know, a lot of people that 0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:19.400 I know who are who have been really just keeping 0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:21.720 you know, who've been keeping my pocket line with work. 0:11:21.840 --> 0:11:23.679 So I do want to say, like I don't I 0:11:23.679 --> 0:11:25.959 don't want to make a general sweeping comment that all 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:28.880 execs are terrible, but I do feel like there are 0:11:28.880 --> 0:11:30.800 a lot of execs who are like, oh, well, if 0:11:30.880 --> 0:11:33.000 y'all are going to talk about how bad this industry is. 0:11:33.200 --> 0:11:35.680 Then I'll just stand my villain, you know, era, and 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:37.560 I'll make it even work, you know. 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:40.280 And so I say that, you know, I survived it, 0:11:40.400 --> 0:11:41.880 And what I mean by that is, you know, we 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:43.920 still have a show. Thank you Will for keeping our 0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:46.760 show up. Thank you Anna, Thank you Bay for continuing 0:11:46.760 --> 0:11:49.679 to believe in our show and continuing to keep pushing 0:11:49.880 --> 0:11:52.320 you know, what we're doing over here with BFF. But 0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:55.440 also like just you know, continuing to prosper in an 0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:58.360 industry that said, you know, basically that doesn't want to 0:11:58.400 --> 0:12:01.000 do anything with us, right, you know the fact that 0:12:01.040 --> 0:12:03.480 there's so many people who are trying to eradicate DEI 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:07.000 and I'm still speaking, I'm still traveling, I'm still working, 0:12:07.840 --> 0:12:10.920 I'm you know, getting our show renewed, really even thinking 0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:14.640 about selling a book in a publishing industry that genuinely 0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:16.400 told me for two and a half three years that 0:12:16.440 --> 0:12:18.960 my book would never be good enough to say, right, Like, 0:12:19.040 --> 0:12:22.480 the bottom line is that I and we survived in moments, 0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:27.160 you know, of an unintentional and intentional erasure. But it's exhausting, 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:29.160 and I think that's the other thing I really, I 0:12:29.480 --> 0:12:32.400 really wish we had more time, I wish, So I'll 0:12:32.440 --> 0:12:37.800 say this, I wish slash. I understand the importance of 0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:39.719 wanting to get into it, but I also understand the 0:12:39.760 --> 0:12:42.960 importance of why we haven't. But I do want to say, like, 0:12:43.040 --> 0:12:46.120 I feel like a collective tired that many of us have, 0:12:46.800 --> 0:12:49.760 but also this collective energy of being like we know 0:12:49.920 --> 0:12:54.160 that we can't stop anytime soon, because those in power 0:12:54.200 --> 0:12:57.240 who want to get rid of us will only get 0:12:57.280 --> 0:13:01.319 worse if we stop what we're doing, if we stop stop, 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:04.959 if we stop showing up, if we stop writing, right. 0:13:06.640 --> 0:13:08.319 So yeah, and then to add to that, I lost 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:14.840 my agent what oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. 0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:17.960 There was a whole to do around, you know, losing 0:13:17.960 --> 0:13:20.280 my agent too. So it was like it just it 0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:22.319 felt like you know, I I do want to say 0:13:22.320 --> 0:13:24.280 this without getting too deep, and I'll talk about a 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:26.000 little bit later on the show, but just there was 0:13:26.040 --> 0:13:29.280 a lot of loss this year for me and and 0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:32.200 finding the gumption. 0:13:32.360 --> 0:13:33.920 I think that's the right word. I've been using that word. 0:13:35.400 --> 0:13:38.800 I need m want to get up, to keep going 0:13:39.280 --> 0:13:42.320 when you constantly feel like my god, what else? 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:43.680 You know, what else? 0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:47.600 But anyway, you know, I believe with my book coming 0:13:47.640 --> 0:13:51.160 out and knowing it's going to get banned. It's it's 0:13:51.240 --> 0:13:54.560 making room for you know, other great things that are 0:13:55.080 --> 0:13:57.040 will potentially come through, not only just for me, but 0:13:57.120 --> 0:13:59.280 come through for all of us. So I just kind 0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:00.800 of want to say that I think that that this 0:14:00.920 --> 0:14:02.679 year has been a lot of that. It's like traversing 0:14:02.760 --> 0:14:06.280 loss in a much bigger way and then also trying 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:08.360 to figure out how do I continue to find the 0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:11.440 energy to keep going in spaces and in places that 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:13.839 are intentionally keeping out of. 0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:14.160 It, you know. 0:14:14.440 --> 0:14:17.920 So yeah, that's kind of where I'm at. But anyway, 0:14:17.960 --> 0:14:20.080 with that, band said, we're about to jump into some 0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:23.120 fun so we got to take a quick break, but 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:25.120 when we get back, we will come back with some 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:27.040 fun mess not a pan. 0:14:37.760 --> 0:14:38.440 All right, y'all. 0:14:38.520 --> 0:14:41.640 So this week we want to go ahead and jump 0:14:41.680 --> 0:14:45.560 into this. You know, we honestly wanted to say it's 0:14:45.600 --> 0:14:47.360 the end of the year. This will be the last 0:14:47.440 --> 0:14:50.480 episode of the year for us before we jump into 0:14:50.880 --> 0:14:53.960 you know, new topics and new things. And so even 0:14:54.000 --> 0:14:58.400 though twenty twenty four was a raggedy bitch, honestly, it 0:14:58.400 --> 0:14:59.640 feels like every year has been that. 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:01.480 But there's still been a. 0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:04.720 Lot of talk about growth, not only just between us 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:07.160 as people, but us in life. Right, we all are 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:10.360 becoming older, were becoming adults, and one of the things 0:15:10.360 --> 0:15:12.440 that I wanted to talk about and I ran this 0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:14.680 pipe by you, Joho, and I'm so happy that you 0:15:14.760 --> 0:15:18.240 obliged and said, yes, let's jump into this. We knowing 0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:20.480 all of the things that we've had to go through 0:15:20.520 --> 0:15:23.000 in all of the ways that we've gotten grown, the 0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:25.320 one thing that we have not talked about on the 0:15:25.360 --> 0:15:28.040 show is all of the stuff that adulting did not 0:15:28.200 --> 0:15:32.640 prepare us for. I wanted to pose that question to 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:34.400 you to just kind of talk through some of the 0:15:34.440 --> 0:15:38.960 things that you feel like life slash your mom or 0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:42.520 maybe even your dad, or even maybe your brothers and sisters, 0:15:42.600 --> 0:15:44.000 right because I know some of them are older, then 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:47.520 help you. And there are a lot of people around 0:15:47.520 --> 0:15:49.400 me who were adults, and I would hear them complain 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:52.040 about stuff, but they never sat down with me and said, look, girl, 0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:54.680 this is what it means to be an adult. And 0:15:54.760 --> 0:15:57.560 so I just you know, I really wanted to dig 0:15:57.600 --> 0:15:59.400 into that. So I know you have some thoughts. I 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:03.400 would love to kind of like what all talked about, 0:16:03.440 --> 0:16:06.120 and then I'll I'll I'll enter my own and then 0:16:06.160 --> 0:16:10.000 we'll so tell me what's what's on your mind? What 0:16:10.000 --> 0:16:12.600 are some of the things that life and adults and 0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:13.840 did not prepare you for. 0:16:13.960 --> 0:16:16.080 Okay, so the first thing, and this is not on 0:16:16.120 --> 0:16:17.920 the list of right now, but like, no one's that 0:16:18.000 --> 0:16:18.600 life is ghetto. 0:16:18.920 --> 0:16:20.480 Like no one told me that life is good. 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:26.400 No one was like girl, like like like you're growing up. 0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:28.800 Like my mom was always like you live, you die, 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:30.800 you pay taxes and that's it. And I was like, yeah, 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:33.120 I get it, but no one somebody that was like no, 0:16:33.200 --> 0:16:36.080 but like life is good like and like and like 0:16:37.840 --> 0:16:40.960 not ghettoing like the fun way and like like like 0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:43.960 like like ghetto as in like ooh girl, the getto 0:16:44.080 --> 0:16:46.680 like it's just not no one in my life is 0:16:46.680 --> 0:16:49.680 just trash like not like life is trash and always 0:16:49.680 --> 0:16:53.360 but just like things get harder, your body, your body 0:16:53.400 --> 0:16:56.240 gets more rickety and stuff, people be people be sucking. 0:16:56.400 --> 0:16:58.160 And also no one told me that, no one, no 0:16:58.160 --> 0:16:59.960 one that day that actually no one has to out 0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:02.680 like I might here thinking as a kid that everyone 0:17:02.680 --> 0:17:05.800 got together. Everyone's just like being a self sufficient independent girl, 0:17:05.800 --> 0:17:08.680 but no, people don't put together like no one does. 0:17:08.840 --> 0:17:09.080 You know. 0:17:09.359 --> 0:17:11.320 I mean, there are people who have more more have 0:17:11.359 --> 0:17:13.760 it more together than others, but I wish everyone tide. 0:17:13.760 --> 0:17:16.000 My dad was like, actually, no one knows what no 0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:18.040 one knows what they're doing. Like it wasn't until last 0:17:18.080 --> 0:17:21.359 year where someone someone's like, you know, twenties are the 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:24.320 teenagers of adulthood, and thirties are like when you actually 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:26.200 have like some adult adulthood. I was like, oh my god, 0:17:26.200 --> 0:17:28.439 this was so much sense because twenties felt like I 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:31.280 was like, why not like a teenager? Just like, I'm 0:17:31.280 --> 0:17:32.720 just a teen who can drink. It's really all that 0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:33.159 means to me? 0:17:33.480 --> 0:17:37.480 Really, yes, for me to buy a cigarettes to drink, it's. 0:17:37.359 --> 0:17:38.159 Really is So. 0:17:39.320 --> 0:17:43.120 I also would say, salaries and taxes, girl, they shouldn't 0:17:43.160 --> 0:17:43.760 make no sense. 0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:46.119 How you gonna tell me I'm making like what adie? 0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:47.840 But how can I say, like, oh, you salaries a 0:17:47.920 --> 0:17:51.160 DK but she we only getting only get fifty five 0:17:51.240 --> 0:17:52.639 K after taxes and stuff. 0:17:52.960 --> 0:17:57.399 But I rent application after my gross income. That's grosser. 0:17:57.400 --> 0:17:58.520 You ask me that because you know, I'm. 0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:02.919 Like, what like when when they say you say that 0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:05.960 deck can ratio for housing, but of your gross income, 0:18:05.960 --> 0:18:08.120 that makes no sense? Like that makes no sense because 0:18:08.119 --> 0:18:12.040 I just I can't because I can't like gross income. Like, 0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:14.120 first of all, if we're gonna play that game, then 0:18:14.240 --> 0:18:17.640 then we should have it should be a gross rent, 0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:20.640 should gross reatement because then as you thinking a percentage 0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:24.000 of the rent, be like if I that is, that's right? 0:18:23.640 --> 0:18:25.520 Right? Like, no, you're not wrong. 0:18:25.600 --> 0:18:27.800 And so you know what, I'm glad that we I'm 0:18:27.800 --> 0:18:30.080 glad that we started here because I've been sitting on 0:18:30.119 --> 0:18:32.919 this for a couple of months. You know, so a 0:18:32.920 --> 0:18:34.720 lot of people know that. Earlier this year, me and 0:18:34.800 --> 0:18:37.840 Jonathan started talking about wanting to buy a home, and 0:18:38.080 --> 0:18:41.120 you know, we dived into the process, we started going 0:18:41.119 --> 0:18:43.320 through all of that. And when the man started breaking 0:18:43.400 --> 0:18:46.200 down all of this stuff, even in my head as 0:18:46.240 --> 0:18:48.120 somebody who makes so I'm just gonna be transmitted. I'm 0:18:48.200 --> 0:18:50.280 me and my husband. Between the two of us at 0:18:50.280 --> 0:18:52.200 this point in time, we make good money. We make 0:18:52.240 --> 0:18:55.320 okay money between the two of us. And when he 0:18:55.400 --> 0:18:57.320 started breaking stuff down, I was like, none of this 0:18:57.359 --> 0:19:00.679 ship makes sense because why why do I have to 0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:02.479 make this? Why do I need to be making this 0:19:02.520 --> 0:19:05.520