1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,480 Speaker 1: Still living in manually taking notes. There is a better 2 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:05,560 Speaker 1: way to start the new year with auto dot ai. 3 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:09,040 Speaker 1: Automatically get meeting notes. Auto dot ai works for virtual 4 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 1: meetings like Zoom, Microsoft Teams, and Google Meet. Sign up 5 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 1: on the web for free or download in the app 6 00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: stores auto dot ai. That's O T T e r 7 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:20,680 Speaker 1: dot Ai. This podcast is sponsored by Better Help Online Therapy. 8 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 1: I'm Michlene Maloof and I'm Nadiadesi, licensed therapists and hosts 9 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: of Getting Better Stories of Mental Health. Join us for 10 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:30,520 Speaker 1: discussions with Megan Trainer, Chris Bosh, Rebel Wilson, and more, 11 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 1: from discussing motherhood to immigrating to general mental health. Our 12 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:37,680 Speaker 1: guests are awe inspiring. We all struggle with the same things, 13 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 1: so let's talk about it and de stigmatize them. Find 14 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,800 Speaker 1: our new podcast, Getting Better Stories of Mental Health on 15 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:50,240 Speaker 1: I Heart Apple Podcasts and Spotify. We've all felt left out, 16 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:53,040 Speaker 1: and for people who moved to this country, that feeling 17 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,840 Speaker 1: lasts more than a moment. We can change that learn 18 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 1: how it Belonging begins with us dot Org. Brought to 19 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:04,840 Speaker 1: you by the AD Council. Yes Yes, yes, yes Yes. 20 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 1: Welcome to money making conversation. I'm your man, Rashaan McDonald. 21 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:11,840 Speaker 1: I'm always the host. We're talking about entrepreneurship and entertainment 22 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 1: on this show. I recognized that we all have different 23 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:19,319 Speaker 1: definitions of success. For some, it's a sizeable tape paycheck. 24 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,760 Speaker 1: Mind is helping people wake up and inspiring them to 25 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,120 Speaker 1: accomplish their goals and live their very vast life. That's 26 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:25,679 Speaker 1: what I want to do when I bring them a 27 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:27,920 Speaker 1: guest on the show. That's my passion. That's why I 28 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:31,600 Speaker 1: drive to get those extra little motivational tools that they 29 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 1: have that have made them successful. Because we all have 30 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,280 Speaker 1: low moments and I try to get those stories out 31 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:38,280 Speaker 1: to let you know you're gonna have a little moment too. 32 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 1: When you have that little moment, what do you do? 33 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,240 Speaker 1: And some of the interviews that I have, maybe you 34 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 1: can get some information they if you heard in one 35 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:46,840 Speaker 1: of my interviews, that will allow you to get out 36 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 1: of that sad moment, to get out of that valley 37 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,480 Speaker 1: that can that can bury you. Sometimes the interviews on 38 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 1: my show provide relatable information to listen about career and 39 00:01:55,240 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 1: financial planning, entrepreneurship, motivation, leadership, overcoming the arts, and how 40 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:03,200 Speaker 1: to live a balanced life. My guests is someone you've 41 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 1: seen grow up on television, starting and sitcoms, dramas, and film. 42 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:10,160 Speaker 1: He is an Emmy nominated veteran TV and film actor, 43 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:14,600 Speaker 1: social activist, relationship coach, and author of Male Versus Man. 44 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:18,400 Speaker 1: He is currently ambassador for Delta Airlines Annual Dream Flight 45 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:21,960 Speaker 1: and ambassador for p Gas Beyond the Green mentoring program 46 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 1: for youth and college dudentes. He's on the show to 47 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:27,360 Speaker 1: discuss this new book, Mail Versus Man, which I have 48 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,320 Speaker 1: read and love it. Please welcome to Money Making Conversations 49 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:38,680 Speaker 1: my Man Dendre with philm my brother. Hey, brother, let's today. 50 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 1: You know what, man, I've been knowing you years man, 51 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:44,880 Speaker 1: and uh, the humbleness of your of you is always 52 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 1: something that stood out about me when I met you 53 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 1: because of the fact that there was always that look. 54 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 1: You always had that look? Man, What can I do next? 55 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:56,920 Speaker 1: Explain that about that? Before we get into detail. I 56 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 1: know that's that's a look that I always was like, Man, 57 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 1: Love that dude, man, because he really does care. Why 58 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:07,919 Speaker 1: Why is that passion in so much in you? Because 59 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:12,799 Speaker 1: I know that when people really care about someone, they 60 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:16,679 Speaker 1: invest in them. What's necessary in order to get them 61 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,800 Speaker 1: to come to the fullness of their life. Many of 62 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 1: our children in underserved and under resourced neighborhoods like the 63 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 1: one I grew up in Brooklyn. If we had the resources, um, 64 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:34,000 Speaker 1: if we had the kind of care, if people took 65 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 1: the kind of time to invest in our kids, our kids. Look, 66 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:42,960 Speaker 1: our kids do it in spite of not having all 67 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 1: of those things at times. So can you imagine if 68 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:50,200 Speaker 1: they had proper resourcing. One of the things that's um, 69 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: that's really eye opening in the conversation of what we 70 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:56,280 Speaker 1: what we're having about policing right now, is defunding the 71 00:03:56,360 --> 00:04:01,720 Speaker 1: police in order to properly fund our neighborhoods, right, and 72 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 1: our neighborhoods is really funding our children. Right. What do 73 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 1: they need? We've got, We've got, we need social work. 74 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 1: Our children are experiencing PTSD. They don't have to turn 75 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:16,080 Speaker 1: on the television to see violence being committed against them. 76 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:19,000 Speaker 1: They're watching it every single day in their own neighborhoods. 77 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:22,159 Speaker 1: They're watching it every single day in their own homes. 78 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:24,680 Speaker 1: So for me, I know that as a kid growing 79 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 1: up in Brooklyn, I was impacted greatly when people took 80 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:34,160 Speaker 1: the time to invest energy in me and so every 81 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,159 Speaker 1: single day as a man, I know that that is 82 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,279 Speaker 1: that that's my purpose in life, and that's important and 83 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,400 Speaker 1: you deliver it. I've seen you and many times with 84 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:46,279 Speaker 1: Steve and Steve Harvey and I had the mantoring camps. Man, 85 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,160 Speaker 1: what the loan phone call to get you there? Brother? 86 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:51,040 Speaker 1: You were there and just was there and get what 87 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 1: wasn't dressed like a star. You're just like a regular guy. 88 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:55,320 Speaker 1: You just ready to work. You know, ten use home, 89 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,960 Speaker 1: you know, little little formal pants and there's just a 90 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,320 Speaker 1: T shirt. If that that's all you needed because you 91 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:04,880 Speaker 1: saw something these young people that you know only you 92 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:08,440 Speaker 1: through your effort. And I said you other others there, 93 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:11,400 Speaker 1: but you take it personal. You take it personal though, 94 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,520 Speaker 1: and that's what I like about you know. You know 95 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:17,919 Speaker 1: what I saw in all of those young brothers, I 96 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:22,880 Speaker 1: saw myself. Yes, So even even I didn't even get 97 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 1: invitation to the mentoring camp, I had to reach I 98 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:31,240 Speaker 1: reached out to Steve Um, to Steve Folks. I got 99 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,919 Speaker 1: a conversation with one of his daughters. First, Yo, you 100 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,839 Speaker 1: guys need to have me there right, I'm not my 101 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,719 Speaker 1: answered like I begged my way in the in the 102 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:44,000 Speaker 1: getting there and then you know, many of our brothers 103 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:45,960 Speaker 1: and this is not a knock on any of them, 104 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,359 Speaker 1: but many of our brothers came in for the day 105 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:51,839 Speaker 1: and then they left. About a conversation. I had a 106 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 1: conversation with my with my two kids, my daughter and 107 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:59,039 Speaker 1: my son, and I said, I need your permission because 108 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:03,000 Speaker 1: it happens over father this day weekend, right, So I 109 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,880 Speaker 1: had a conversation with my daughter, with my daughter and 110 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:10,080 Speaker 1: my son to say, I need your permission. I need 111 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:13,640 Speaker 1: you to lend me to those kids that don't have 112 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:18,520 Speaker 1: a father. So I stayed there the entire weekend. I 113 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:21,880 Speaker 1: was actually the only brother there aside from of course, 114 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,839 Speaker 1: for the steelish. I was the only father there, the 115 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:28,040 Speaker 1: only quote unquote to left there that was actually there 116 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:32,960 Speaker 1: on Father's Day. And I did that because I know 117 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:37,560 Speaker 1: that our young you know, our young brothers need to 118 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 1: be able to to to feel that like they can 119 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 1: tell when you come in to make an appearance or 120 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 1: whether you're truly invested, right, They can tell that. Man, 121 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:50,240 Speaker 1: they can tell were you there for the shine? You're 122 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:52,560 Speaker 1: there for that when you're there for the shine, but 123 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:56,360 Speaker 1: you're there for the like yes, and and they and 124 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,720 Speaker 1: they're mad about it too, because it's been done so 125 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 1: many times. That's why man's not in there. That's why 126 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,240 Speaker 1: they won't and that's why they won't listen to you, 127 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:05,800 Speaker 1: because they can tell. They can see through that. Right. 128 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:08,400 Speaker 1: When you grow up in the streets, you learn how 129 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:11,840 Speaker 1: to recognize the bs, right, you learn how to like 130 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 1: size people up and go, oh man, this dude is 131 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 1: making an appearance. As soon as those cameras turn off, 132 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:22,360 Speaker 1: watch him turn off, right, they can they can steal it, right, 133 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: And I wanted those brothers to know, yo, man, no, no, no, 134 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be here. I didn't leave the camp. Matter 135 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 1: of fact, the first day at the camp. My first 136 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:35,000 Speaker 1: day at the camp, I stayed so long that I 137 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:40,240 Speaker 1: actually missed the rods back. Absolutely, that's a truth story. 138 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:44,360 Speaker 1: Remember that absolutely, because because you call, you said, hey, man, 139 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 1: I need a d Man, I've been here dealing with 140 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:54,440 Speaker 1: it with the kids, like I ain't got no way 141 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:57,160 Speaker 1: back to get to the hotel. Like that's putting in 142 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:01,280 Speaker 1: work and you know it, you need you know. And 143 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,520 Speaker 1: the reason I brought that story up and just our 144 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 1: relationship because I want to let everybody know why this 145 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,800 Speaker 1: book is important. There's always been a passion mission for 146 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:13,560 Speaker 1: him throughout his life. This finally allows us to read 147 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 1: why is it so passionate? In the words, the book 148 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 1: I'm talking about is male versus man Um. This is 149 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,680 Speaker 1: an amazing book. Mr Wilm calling you Mr with theil 150 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:25,240 Speaker 1: okay because you preach it him. You preach it him 151 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 1: in this book. When I got the Moses, you know, 152 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 1: when the Moses, I was looking for a plate. I 153 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:32,280 Speaker 1: was looking for a plate. I don't looking for a 154 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,760 Speaker 1: plate money. And and the thing about it is that 155 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 1: tell us the importance of importance of male versus man. 156 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 1: And we're gonna break down some details about it because 157 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,800 Speaker 1: there was some personal stuff that you mentioned in your 158 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,800 Speaker 1: book that hit home for me, and that's important just 159 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 1: the people I knew, a person I knew and I 160 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,600 Speaker 1: and I want to reflect on that. But tell us 161 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 1: the importance of male versus man. Well, you know, there is, 162 00:08:57,559 --> 00:08:59,599 Speaker 1: as as I t up in the book, and that 163 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:03,599 Speaker 1: I often say when I speak that every man that 164 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,520 Speaker 1: you meet as a male, but not every male that 165 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:09,280 Speaker 1: you meet as a man. There's a huge difference between 166 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:13,640 Speaker 1: being a male and being a man. So being a 167 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 1: male male is the gender that we were chosen to be, 168 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 1: But man is the job that we choose to do. 169 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 1: So males look to serve themselves, while men look to 170 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:34,560 Speaker 1: serve others. They look to be of service. Males look 171 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:38,199 Speaker 1: to be served. There's a huge difference between being a 172 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:41,400 Speaker 1: male and being a man, and many of our brothers, 173 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:48,239 Speaker 1: their development into manhood gets arrested at a very specific 174 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:52,640 Speaker 1: and early age, particularly when they don't have their father 175 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:57,800 Speaker 1: around to give them manhood messaging. Now, what's this. Just 176 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:03,040 Speaker 1: because you're the person and who gave you their DNA 177 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,520 Speaker 1: in your biological father, just because you have them in 178 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:09,719 Speaker 1: your life doesn't necessarily mean that you're gonna get the 179 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:12,079 Speaker 1: messaging that you need in order for you to matriculate 180 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 1: in the manner. Because what is your father never got 181 00:10:14,679 --> 00:10:19,000 Speaker 1: the messaging that he needed. Your father can't give you 182 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:24,480 Speaker 1: something that he never got. So many of our young 183 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:28,080 Speaker 1: brothers never properly matriculated in the manhood because they never 184 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:32,559 Speaker 1: received manhood messaging. My father was in and out of 185 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:38,160 Speaker 1: jail my entire life and throughout my adolescence, so I 186 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:41,559 Speaker 1: never got the messaging that I needed from my father. 187 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 1: But here's the thing. My father never got the messaging 188 00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:48,319 Speaker 1: that he needed either, So my father couldn't father me 189 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:54,559 Speaker 1: because he himself was unfathered. And in writing this book, 190 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:57,959 Speaker 1: I said to myself, you know what, and and this 191 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:02,200 Speaker 1: this came after me recond iling with my father after 192 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,200 Speaker 1: twenty years of the two of us being strange from 193 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: each other. At six years old, I threatened my father. 194 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:11,600 Speaker 1: I told him, if I ever saw him again, one 195 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:15,240 Speaker 1: of us wasn't what wasn't gonna be here, and it 196 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:19,920 Speaker 1: wasn't gonna be me. And uh so I can't say 197 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,439 Speaker 1: exactly what I said because I don't speak that way anymore. 198 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:28,520 Speaker 1: But that's one of the Lucas. Lucas Lucas without a doubt, right. 199 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:32,120 Speaker 1: So in boy, you're breaking it down, Sean, Now I 200 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:35,240 Speaker 1: get it bad. You really read this book. Oh my gosh, 201 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:39,839 Speaker 1: we're gonna get to the Book of Lucas to the minute. 202 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,520 Speaker 1: But boy, I can't even believe you breaking me up. Okay, 203 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 1: So literally, I wrote this book because what I wanted 204 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:52,079 Speaker 1: to do was I wanted to um. I wanted to 205 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:57,480 Speaker 1: break down UM for my father. I knew that my 206 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,720 Speaker 1: father could have been a great man had he had 207 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:05,320 Speaker 1: great instruction, right, And so I said, if my father, 208 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 1: if I need to write the playbook, for manhood that 209 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 1: if my father had it would have been abled him 210 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 1: to become a great man. And thankfully, odd eleven year 211 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,720 Speaker 1: old son, thankfully I'm in his life. But what if 212 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:24,160 Speaker 1: God calls me home sooner than I anticipated. I need 213 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:27,240 Speaker 1: to have a playbook for manhood that my son can 214 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:32,280 Speaker 1: immediately go to and say, Okay, here's here's what it is. Right, 215 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:37,240 Speaker 1: So this was the purpose behind me writing male versus 216 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,080 Speaker 1: man beautiful. And then I want to make a note, 217 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,480 Speaker 1: like I said, you know your faith has become strong 218 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:46,319 Speaker 1: in your life, has been a passage or write a 219 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:49,160 Speaker 1: passage for you and when you reunite with your father, 220 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:53,880 Speaker 1: he found Islam, and so so it's it's all about 221 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,600 Speaker 1: a journey. And like I said, his journey was doing 222 00:12:56,600 --> 00:13:02,000 Speaker 1: incarceration okay before he found his faith okay. And what 223 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 1: you lost, you and him to have a clear understanding 224 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:08,439 Speaker 1: of how you can communicate with each other, your your 225 00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 1: your journey to your faith in the Book of Lucas okay. 226 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:16,240 Speaker 1: And it's been derived through allowing us to see you 227 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:20,679 Speaker 1: grow and play out television movies and films, you know, 228 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:22,679 Speaker 1: starting on the cause. But shall all that stuff, you know, 229 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,320 Speaker 1: A look cute little boy you know what I'm saying, 230 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,240 Speaker 1: and so, but along the way, they are tragic moments 231 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:29,760 Speaker 1: that pop up. I can I can tell you this 232 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:33,200 Speaker 1: man when I was I wunderstand, was about five years old, 233 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:36,040 Speaker 1: one of my good friends. You know, he was blowing 234 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:38,920 Speaker 1: up a balloon and it sucked it down and he 235 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:42,719 Speaker 1: held it and he choked and died. That had a 236 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,439 Speaker 1: I'm changing man. That had a lasting effector it's even 237 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:49,120 Speaker 1: now it's it's to me. I can understand why you 238 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:52,800 Speaker 1: need counseling. While they said get counselor the counseling, get counseling, 239 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:56,079 Speaker 1: because nobody, Nobody'm a black neighbor. I'm black kids in 240 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,920 Speaker 1: the hood, there was no counsel you know, well, just 241 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 1: just feel sorry for hear you? You know, you know 242 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,640 Speaker 1: God called him home. You know it was his time. 243 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:08,920 Speaker 1: All those classic statements you get now, young man, that 244 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:12,800 Speaker 1: you're not both knew. I was Steve Harming. I was doing, 245 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:16,880 Speaker 1: uh name you going three to beat and in Los Angeles, 246 00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:20,160 Speaker 1: most popular radio format in l A at the time, 247 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,120 Speaker 1: and uh my mom Parker used to come up to 248 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:27,360 Speaker 1: the state good looking young man. I love that dude. Man, 249 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:30,880 Speaker 1: slender in shape by six one, you know we should 250 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:32,960 Speaker 1: laugh all the time whenever you come around that corner. 251 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:37,600 Speaker 1: He had energy, man, he had energy that you just 252 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,760 Speaker 1: calmed out, what are you taking man? When you come 253 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:44,560 Speaker 1: up from the station. And and then and telling and 254 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:47,560 Speaker 1: introducing him into this book. I learned the side of 255 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 1: you I didn't know about your motorcycle stills, you know, 256 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:54,440 Speaker 1: and the ability to be able to be special. That's 257 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,320 Speaker 1: why I always look at people like you, man, is 258 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:59,600 Speaker 1: that you know, God gives us all a lot of talents, 259 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,840 Speaker 1: you know, and that's just one of the talents that 260 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:05,240 Speaker 1: you became very good at. And in doing so, Mr 261 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:09,640 Speaker 1: Parker became enamored and wanted to share that experience tell 262 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:14,480 Speaker 1: us the rest of the story. You know, my a 263 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:18,440 Speaker 1: mind was my I love the fact that you recall 264 00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:24,080 Speaker 1: him through his staple, which was his energy. I love 265 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:28,600 Speaker 1: that kid, This dude, this brother was like like a 266 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:35,120 Speaker 1: pack of like a super Transformer pack of energy. And 267 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 1: no matter when you saw him, he was the same way. 268 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:43,240 Speaker 1: His mom um said that when I finally met her, 269 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,320 Speaker 1: she said that we were uh we were. We must 270 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:51,400 Speaker 1: have been separated at birth because our energy is always 271 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,360 Speaker 1: like the said, is one of the reasons why we 272 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:57,640 Speaker 1: we were attracted to one another as brothers because our 273 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:01,880 Speaker 1: energies matched. It was just off life. The dude didn't 274 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:05,000 Speaker 1: have you know, uh, he didn't have those kinds of 275 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,960 Speaker 1: advices and and all that stuff that would make him, 276 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:12,280 Speaker 1: you know, energetic. He was just energetic about life. And 277 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:16,680 Speaker 1: he became my best friend out here. And um, we 278 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:21,520 Speaker 1: did everything together with our families, together, our our our wives. 279 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,800 Speaker 1: Um we're great together our you know. I was really 280 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:31,080 Speaker 1: tight with his kids and a couple of months before 281 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:37,400 Speaker 1: my wife gave birth to our first child, my daughter. Um, 282 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:43,360 Speaker 1: a man decided that I was always a a ade motorcyclist, 283 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,720 Speaker 1: and my skill sets ran deep. You know. I was 284 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 1: really on the freeway and and do stoppings and um, 285 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:56,000 Speaker 1: you know, I raised motorcycles. Like motorcycles became a huge 286 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,800 Speaker 1: part of like my life. And I was doing stuff 287 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,640 Speaker 1: that while I was on television shows. And I would 288 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,200 Speaker 1: do all of these stunts on my motorcycle, and people like, 289 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:06,919 Speaker 1: I take my helmet off so I can get help 290 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:10,920 Speaker 1: people be like that's doing from that show. So people 291 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,800 Speaker 1: were like blown away at that. He would come over 292 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:17,359 Speaker 1: to my house, see my motorcycles, see my wife's motorcycle. 293 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:19,800 Speaker 1: He was like, man, I've always wanted to ride. I said, well, Yo, 294 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,360 Speaker 1: if you're gonna ride, you're gonna have to go through 295 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:26,560 Speaker 1: motorcycle stafsty course. So I made sure he went through 296 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:29,919 Speaker 1: the motorcycle safety course. He did all of that. Everything 297 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,520 Speaker 1: was good. I made sure his equipment was good all that. 298 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:36,040 Speaker 1: His first day of getting on the freeway, I said, listen, 299 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,680 Speaker 1: I'm gonna come pick you up. I was living in 300 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,520 Speaker 1: Targana at the time. He lived in Palmdale, so it's 301 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,359 Speaker 1: a big trip. So had to ride out there to 302 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,280 Speaker 1: his house. And uh, and we got on the freeway 303 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:51,520 Speaker 1: and we started rolling, and day was going great. And 304 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:54,399 Speaker 1: I talked about this in the book, and I'm not 305 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,600 Speaker 1: gonna go through the whole thing because it's a lengthy story. 306 00:17:57,280 --> 00:18:01,240 Speaker 1: But rather than the reason why I picked him up 307 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,720 Speaker 1: was because I knew that it was my assignment to 308 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:10,240 Speaker 1: look after my friends. And what I talked about in 309 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:14,200 Speaker 1: the book is the pain that you go through as 310 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:19,720 Speaker 1: a man when you abandon your post and you don't 311 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:27,520 Speaker 1: walk out your assignment in life. And I happened to 312 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:31,320 Speaker 1: leave him while we were on the freeway in order 313 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,399 Speaker 1: to go through these turns that I used to love 314 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:40,359 Speaker 1: to go through, and I'm speeding through. And after I 315 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:45,200 Speaker 1: get to the end, my other partner and I were 316 00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:47,440 Speaker 1: sitting there and we were waiting on him, and he 317 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:50,560 Speaker 1: never never came out of that turn. And in a 318 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:54,040 Speaker 1: car pulls up beside beside us and says, hey, you 319 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:56,840 Speaker 1: guys got a bite down back there. So we turned 320 00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:59,320 Speaker 1: because we were on our way to pass a demas 321 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:03,680 Speaker 1: and this uh you turn. Uh. Come up on the 322 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:07,560 Speaker 1: other side and I see my best friend laid out 323 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,840 Speaker 1: in the middle of the freeway. His motorcycle is up 324 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:14,119 Speaker 1: against the guard rail. Traffickers stop. We go up to 325 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,280 Speaker 1: the top, turn back around, come back over and get 326 00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:21,480 Speaker 1: down to him. Take off my helmet. I'm like, my mind, 327 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:26,040 Speaker 1: I'm like I said, you're good, all right. He's breathing, 328 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:34,440 Speaker 1: but he's not responding. His eyes are fluttering, his chest 329 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:38,199 Speaker 1: is comping, you know, trying to take in you know, oxygen. 330 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:43,560 Speaker 1: And I just begin you know, talking to him, going, man, hey, 331 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:46,320 Speaker 1: something just hit me. It's like, yo, you can't leave here. 332 00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:50,160 Speaker 1: You got a wife and two kids and you haven't 333 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:54,360 Speaker 1: even seen my daughter be born yet. And just kept 334 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:58,280 Speaker 1: talking to him, kept talking to him. Ambulance finally comes 335 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 1: transport him to the hospital. Long story short, he had 336 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:07,720 Speaker 1: so much swelling on his brain that they said that 337 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,119 Speaker 1: if he made it, he would never be the same again, 338 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,800 Speaker 1: and that he would just live his life, you know, 339 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:19,440 Speaker 1: in a vegitative state. And family, his wife, along with 340 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:24,320 Speaker 1: his mother, sister, they decided to give him a peaceful, 341 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:31,680 Speaker 1: you know, homegoing and it devastated me. It devastated me 342 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:38,120 Speaker 1: because while I know I'm not as powerful as God, 343 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:41,720 Speaker 1: and I don't know God's plan, all I know is 344 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:46,240 Speaker 1: is that as a man, I did not stand my 345 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,960 Speaker 1: post on that day. I didn't stay there. Now, I 346 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:53,600 Speaker 1: don't know if the both of us, we still don't 347 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,439 Speaker 1: know what happened. We don't know whether our car hit him. 348 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:59,280 Speaker 1: We don't know whether he lost control going into the term. 349 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,480 Speaker 1: We have no idea what happened. They still don't know, 350 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,399 Speaker 1: and I never got to start it off. To me, 351 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:06,240 Speaker 1: that's exactly what happened. All I know he was on 352 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:10,440 Speaker 1: the freeway, you know, and probably driving at a high speed, 353 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:13,040 Speaker 1: and that was it. And when it came back to 354 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 1: me Andre, I was like, huh, you kidding me? Because 355 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,680 Speaker 1: that that that and that my takeaway from that book, 356 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:24,520 Speaker 1: it's about it. There's no pointing fingers. It's about life. No, 357 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:28,040 Speaker 1: it's no, it's about life and and and really that's 358 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,840 Speaker 1: why I talked about this, because, like I said, I 359 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,800 Speaker 1: don't know if I stayed with him. I don't know 360 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,840 Speaker 1: if both of us, you know, I might have meant 361 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,760 Speaker 1: that you know the same thing. I have no idea. 362 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:44,640 Speaker 1: All I know is this, as a man, I knew 363 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:48,639 Speaker 1: that my job was to look after my brother, and 364 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:54,679 Speaker 1: for a moment, in order for me to feed my flesh, 365 00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:03,280 Speaker 1: I abandoned my post, and that Lesson stayed with me. 366 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:07,240 Speaker 1: First of all, his last name was Parker. My my 367 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:12,159 Speaker 1: he was. My daughter was born two months after he passed. 368 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:16,520 Speaker 1: Her name is Parker. So every single day that I 369 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,880 Speaker 1: look at her, every single day that I call her name, 370 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:24,280 Speaker 1: I think about him, and I also think about how 371 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:29,040 Speaker 1: devastating it can be when a man abandons his post. 372 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:35,000 Speaker 1: And so I've never since that day. And now my 373 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:39,800 Speaker 1: daughter comes September, will be sixteen. So that was sixteen 374 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:43,960 Speaker 1: years ago. So every single day when I walk as 375 00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:47,440 Speaker 1: a man, I walk with great purpose, Like just like 376 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,720 Speaker 1: this Father's Day. It's ironic. We were talking about the 377 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:55,240 Speaker 1: camp and talking about my commitments on Father's Day. This 378 00:22:55,480 --> 00:23:01,119 Speaker 1: Father's Day in Los Angeles, I am or anizing a rally. 379 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,159 Speaker 1: You can go to all of my social media's and 380 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:08,200 Speaker 1: you will see my call to action all fathers, not 381 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:14,800 Speaker 1: Black fathers, not white fathers, all fathers, all fathers on 382 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:18,119 Speaker 1: Father's Day eleven am in front of City Hall in 383 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:24,159 Speaker 1: Los Angeles, because we recognize that while we want equality 384 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:27,440 Speaker 1: injustice for all of our families, we recognize that right 385 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:33,240 Speaker 1: now black people are being denied those rights. And as 386 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:38,280 Speaker 1: all fathers, when one child or one person of our 387 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:43,200 Speaker 1: families is denied equality injustice, thus too many. So the 388 00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:47,919 Speaker 1: call to action is all fathers coming to stand up 389 00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:52,960 Speaker 1: for equality injustice for black people. So we are you know, 390 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:59,919 Speaker 1: you know, um, It's finally here, the season of celebration, 391 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,879 Speaker 1: and no matter how you celebrate with family and friends, 392 00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:07,040 Speaker 1: whether you're preparing for Reis Magos or Karamu lighting the Manura, 393 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,240 Speaker 1: are going to midnight mass, Coals has just what you 394 00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:14,119 Speaker 1: need to make those traditions special. Plus you'll find gifts 395 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:19,240 Speaker 1: for all your loved ones. Send warm wishes with cozy fleeces, sweaters, loungeware, 396 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:23,119 Speaker 1: blankets and throws. Support minority owned or founded brands by 397 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:26,920 Speaker 1: giving gifts from Human Nation and shame moisture or treat 398 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:31,159 Speaker 1: them to everyone's favorite active wear from top brands like Nike, Adidas, 399 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:34,560 Speaker 1: and under Armor. And in the spirit of giving, Coals 400 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:38,800 Speaker 1: Cares is donating eight million dollars to local nonprofits nationwide 401 00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,520 Speaker 1: committed to the health and well being of our communities. 402 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,879 Speaker 1: No matter how you celebrate, when you shop at Coals, 403 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:48,480 Speaker 1: you're right where you belong. So this season, give with 404 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,480 Speaker 1: all your heart with great gifts from Coals or coals 405 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,639 Speaker 1: dot com. Whether your event needed one room or an 406 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:59,000 Speaker 1: entire conference, under Hoppin has revolutionized the way people come together. 407 00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:02,560 Speaker 1: With hoppin, you can host a fully fledged digital meet up, 408 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,680 Speaker 1: complete with one on one meetings, hands on sessions, and 409 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:09,080 Speaker 1: expo booths. And because everything is hosted in a single, 410 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,560 Speaker 1: easy to use platform, it can be as big or 411 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,560 Speaker 1: small as you want, remain convenient for anyone who wants 412 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,280 Speaker 1: to attend, and give you access to data you never 413 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,680 Speaker 1: would have known otherwise. Visit hopen dot com to learn 414 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:24,640 Speaker 1: more and get started. Still living in one and manually 415 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,440 Speaker 1: taking notes, start the new year with auto dot ai 416 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:31,080 Speaker 1: to generate automatic notes for meetings, interviews, or lectures. With 417 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,560 Speaker 1: auto dot ai, you can search the meeting notes, insert images, 418 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:36,720 Speaker 1: play back the audio, and share them with your friends 419 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,320 Speaker 1: or coworkers. You can capture action items, remember meeting details, 420 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:43,520 Speaker 1: and keep everyone informed. Auto dot ai works for in 421 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:47,120 Speaker 1: person or virtual meetings like Zoom, Microsoft Teams, and Google Meet. 422 00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:50,000 Speaker 1: Sign up for free at auto dot ai or download 423 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,359 Speaker 1: the app for free auto dot ai. That's O T 424 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:56,639 Speaker 1: T E R dot Ai. I'm detas brother, your special 425 00:25:56,760 --> 00:26:01,439 Speaker 1: mayor you know and um and and been. I've been 426 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:05,040 Speaker 1: a part of your life watching you on TV. You 427 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,399 Speaker 1: came into my life and forced your way into my 428 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:11,840 Speaker 1: life doing something I love doing, you know, changing people's lives. 429 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,919 Speaker 1: Who you know, brother, we didn't you know you are? 430 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,600 Speaker 1: I came from, you know, like they say that the 431 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:20,800 Speaker 1: Golden spirting lifestyle. You know what I'm saying, and so 432 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,040 Speaker 1: and so and the give and the give part and 433 00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:26,600 Speaker 1: excuse me, Brooklyn Dre, let me go and just break 434 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:31,080 Speaker 1: it down to your Brooklyn Dre and uh you know, 435 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:34,080 Speaker 1: because that's because like you said, you know, we all 436 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,760 Speaker 1: have different slices of life that we live in, you know, 437 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:40,159 Speaker 1: like I said, But the term I want to take 438 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:41,800 Speaker 1: from the book that really hit home for me, this 439 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,000 Speaker 1: this statement, right here the mark of a man. This 440 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,840 Speaker 1: is in the book Male Versus Man. That's m a 441 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,560 Speaker 1: l e versus man. The mark of a man is 442 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,560 Speaker 1: that he can lead with his physicality, but chooses to 443 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:59,119 Speaker 1: lead with his mentality. You, sir, yes, sir. When I 444 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,680 Speaker 1: wrote that, I can't tell you, I literally when I 445 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:07,680 Speaker 1: wrote that, it came out of the fact that most 446 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:13,840 Speaker 1: of us have been taught that manhood really is masculinity, 447 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:20,440 Speaker 1: or really is our sexuality. Right, So our masculinity will 448 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,400 Speaker 1: speak to the fact that you know, uh, we could 449 00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:27,680 Speaker 1: bench press two hundred pounds, two hundred pounds, right. Our 450 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:31,800 Speaker 1: sexuality is about how many women can we you know, 451 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:38,199 Speaker 1: sleep with exactly right, because we're hunters. Right, even one 452 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:40,640 Speaker 1: of those things has anything to do with our manhood. 453 00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:48,240 Speaker 1: Our manhood is directly tied to our dedication to being 454 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:53,440 Speaker 1: a servant leader, serving the women and children in our lives. 455 00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:56,040 Speaker 1: I talked about in the book how every man has 456 00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:59,280 Speaker 1: to be the walking tree of his house and community 457 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:03,400 Speaker 1: because does a tree due a tree provides cover right 458 00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:07,399 Speaker 1: from the harmful elements of the world. Right, a treat 459 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:11,560 Speaker 1: also gives us oxygen when we give it carbon uh 460 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:17,720 Speaker 1: uh the Knox side right, So So the poison that 461 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:21,439 Speaker 1: we uh that we give the tree, the tree gives 462 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:24,280 Speaker 1: us oxygen. So that's what a man is supposed to do. 463 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,360 Speaker 1: A man is supposed to allow us to breathe better. Right. 464 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:30,159 Speaker 1: A tree also gives us fruit. What is that? That 465 00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:33,080 Speaker 1: is food? So a treat feeds us, a tree gives 466 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:36,400 Speaker 1: us shelter. The tree allows us to breathe better. That's 467 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:39,520 Speaker 1: the job of every man, for every woman and child 468 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:44,239 Speaker 1: in his life. So when I wrote that a man, uh, 469 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:48,760 Speaker 1: you know, could lead with his physicality because of our 470 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:52,840 Speaker 1: physical strength, but chooses to lead with his mentality, that 471 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,200 Speaker 1: left me in tears. I'll never forget it. I was 472 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:58,400 Speaker 1: sitting downstairs in my house righting that section, and that 473 00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:00,760 Speaker 1: brought tears to my eyes. Why you think I brought 474 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:02,360 Speaker 1: it up? You know, I know you, you know, I 475 00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:05,760 Speaker 1: know you of all that I brought that up, I said, 476 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:08,000 Speaker 1: I got to say this on this show and let 477 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:11,520 Speaker 1: him know that this meant something to me too. This 478 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:14,160 Speaker 1: meant something to me too. This is another statement from 479 00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,440 Speaker 1: the book that meant something to me. You believe that 480 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:20,040 Speaker 1: a man who is truly successful is one with healthy 481 00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:26,959 Speaker 1: and whole relationships h And that I attribute that statement 482 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,040 Speaker 1: to the to the journey you take us on in 483 00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:32,040 Speaker 1: this book because of the fact you define the difference 484 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:35,800 Speaker 1: between male versus man, You define the difference between your 485 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:39,320 Speaker 1: your relationships as you get finally met Sally and you 486 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:42,560 Speaker 1: have a whole family and the responsibilities of of what 487 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:44,720 Speaker 1: they are you talking about your son when he was 488 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,560 Speaker 1: when he had a racial slur hit to him by 489 00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:49,720 Speaker 1: his best friend Ben. The name was being in the 490 00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:52,520 Speaker 1: book and how you you know, it reminded me of 491 00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:54,880 Speaker 1: a situation with my wife and my daughter. When my 492 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,560 Speaker 1: daughter's being intimidated in her school. You know, my wife's 493 00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:01,160 Speaker 1: she went up to the school. Was nothing happening fast 494 00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:04,760 Speaker 1: enough for brother Roshawn, Okay, And so finally I had 495 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:06,680 Speaker 1: to go up there. You know, she thought I was 496 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,480 Speaker 1: gonna throw stuff against the walls and and go crazy. 497 00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:12,440 Speaker 1: I did, just like you. I had a conversation with 498 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:16,960 Speaker 1: the teachers and educating them and let them know because see, 499 00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:19,560 Speaker 1: it's all about the education and your demeanor. Place o't 500 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:23,760 Speaker 1: like that. This book is an educational book about life, 501 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:27,600 Speaker 1: about men and defining these these fallacies that we have, 502 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:31,680 Speaker 1: these physicality by being macho, by gotta break through a 503 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,320 Speaker 1: door instead of open the door. Gotta be gotta be 504 00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:36,760 Speaker 1: a champion for the cause instead of a speaker for 505 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,960 Speaker 1: the moment. This is what this book is about, everybody, 506 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,960 Speaker 1: mail versus man. This is a book, man, I think 507 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,560 Speaker 1: it's to me, it's a defining moment and uh and 508 00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:49,320 Speaker 1: and educating where we're at right now when you look 509 00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,200 Speaker 1: at these young boards out in the streets, man walking 510 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,360 Speaker 1: down with those churchs angry. Man, they gotta read this 511 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:55,880 Speaker 1: book there because they do a lot of they're doing 512 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:57,880 Speaker 1: a lot of physical things when it should be mental, 513 00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:02,160 Speaker 1: no question. And you know, it's so interesting. When I 514 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:06,960 Speaker 1: spoke earlier, I said, I think I'm misspoken to carbon monoxide, um, 515 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:10,440 Speaker 1: and meant to say carbon dioxide is what we breathe 516 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:14,880 Speaker 1: out when we breathe in our our our trees produce 517 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:18,920 Speaker 1: oxygen for us, and that that's what men are supposed 518 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:22,160 Speaker 1: to do. We spoke earlier about the Book of Lucas, 519 00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:28,080 Speaker 1: right right, So in the Bible there there are a 520 00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:33,160 Speaker 1: great many different books and so so in talking about 521 00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:36,400 Speaker 1: this in male versus man, I said, you know what 522 00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:41,840 Speaker 1: we we all know about the book the Five Love Languages, 523 00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:47,680 Speaker 1: And I said, you know they're actually is um. There 524 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:52,080 Speaker 1: are five paying languages. And that's how I came up 525 00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:55,560 Speaker 1: with quote unquote the Book of Lucas. Lucas is an 526 00:31:55,640 --> 00:32:08,280 Speaker 1: acronym for l rusting you unforgivingness, see cursing, a angers sarcasm. Right, 527 00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:14,400 Speaker 1: the five pain languages. Lusting is the passion of pain. Right, 528 00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:17,280 Speaker 1: So all of these things about the pain languages, Lusting 529 00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:20,280 Speaker 1: is the passion of pain. Right. So when we left 530 00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:25,120 Speaker 1: after somebody where we're we're really moving after them, there's 531 00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:28,640 Speaker 1: a passion for them, but it's because of our pain. 532 00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,680 Speaker 1: It really doesn't have anything to do with love. Right. 533 00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:36,160 Speaker 1: Unforgivingness is the memory of pain. If I remember something, 534 00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:39,440 Speaker 1: then I'm not gonna forgive you because I remember the 535 00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:43,120 Speaker 1: pain that it produced. So I can't forgive you, right, 536 00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:48,560 Speaker 1: c it's cursing. That's the vocabulary of pain. Right. Whenever 537 00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:51,560 Speaker 1: I speak, I used to always speak when I was 538 00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:55,720 Speaker 1: in Brooklyn, you know, uh, Curson was like the first language. 539 00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:59,440 Speaker 1: That's really English was the first language. Right. But I 540 00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:04,360 Speaker 1: and to realize that me cursing at my wife is 541 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,600 Speaker 1: never something that I should do because that is going 542 00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:11,000 Speaker 1: to cause her great pain. Me cursing that my children, 543 00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:12,959 Speaker 1: I should never do that as a man, that's going 544 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,760 Speaker 1: to cause them great pain. I began to realize that 545 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:19,600 Speaker 1: every time I curse at somebody, it only brings them pain. 546 00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:23,600 Speaker 1: So that's when I realized that's the vocabulary pain. That's 547 00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:27,840 Speaker 1: why I don't curse anymore. Right, Hey, it's for is anger. 548 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:33,040 Speaker 1: That's the emotion of pain. Whenever we feel pain and 549 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:37,000 Speaker 1: we get like hurt from that profound pain, anger shows 550 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:41,160 Speaker 1: up because that's the emotion that gets produced by it. Right. 551 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:46,959 Speaker 1: And then finally s is sarcasm. That's the humor of pain. Right. 552 00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:51,560 Speaker 1: So when somebody says something sarcastic to you, they're being funny, 553 00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:56,080 Speaker 1: but they say that sarcastic or make that sarcastic statement 554 00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:59,760 Speaker 1: towards you because they are in pain, but they find 555 00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:03,800 Speaker 1: a funny way of saying it or doing it. Right. So, 556 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:08,280 Speaker 1: those are the five pain languages. And lusting, unforgivingness, cursing, anger, 557 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:12,239 Speaker 1: and sarcasm and those things. When I began to examine 558 00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:17,320 Speaker 1: all those things, man, they changed so much of my 559 00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:22,920 Speaker 1: behavior because not very many people. People don't realize any 560 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,680 Speaker 1: of that, so they can't break that down for you. Right. 561 00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:29,359 Speaker 1: So when I got to that, man, I sat there 562 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,600 Speaker 1: and I said, oh my gosh, bro, you just gave 563 00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:37,839 Speaker 1: people a language to be able to recognize what behaviors 564 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:42,960 Speaker 1: they are walking out that cause other people pain from 565 00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,960 Speaker 1: their own pain. It's like that saying hurt people hurt 566 00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:50,160 Speaker 1: people when we hurt. These are the pain languages we 567 00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:54,799 Speaker 1: used to hurt other people because we are hurt. I'm 568 00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:57,359 Speaker 1: gonna tell you something, man, I know, I gotta wrap 569 00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:58,719 Speaker 1: up here. I want to You have a You have 570 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:02,799 Speaker 1: a Male Versus Main and video series features Will Smith, 571 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:05,960 Speaker 1: Kevin Hard, Trevor Jackson. Tell us about that every Friday 572 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:10,480 Speaker 1: at ten am uh uh a Pacific Coast time, one 573 00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:13,680 Speaker 1: am East Coast time. It's a new series, new setters 574 00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:18,000 Speaker 1: of videos, Mail versus Man talk to us about that. Yeah. 575 00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:23,760 Speaker 1: I produced this digital series along with my producing partners 576 00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:29,799 Speaker 1: of the Black Love Team. Oh yes, that's my crew. Yeah, 577 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:34,560 Speaker 1: those are my people, Cody uh and Tommy Oliver. Um. 578 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:36,960 Speaker 1: Those are those are my people that are my producing 579 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:42,319 Speaker 1: partners on the digital series. And I came to them 580 00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:45,400 Speaker 1: because I needed somebody to help me produce this. This 581 00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:51,120 Speaker 1: this series of talks with men about their matriculation into 582 00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:56,880 Speaker 1: manhoods Um. I knew that people needed to hear stories 583 00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:02,560 Speaker 1: from people that they considered to be accomplished um men 584 00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:09,080 Speaker 1: about how they went from going from maleness to manhood. 585 00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:13,400 Speaker 1: And so my first conversation was with my brother Will Smith, 586 00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:18,759 Speaker 1: and um it was extremely powerful. If you watch that 587 00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:24,840 Speaker 1: uh talk, it really talks about the fact that everything 588 00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:29,799 Speaker 1: that we've been told when we're younger, that it's going 589 00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:33,759 Speaker 1: to make you feel great about being an accomplished man, 590 00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:39,040 Speaker 1: in making money and doing the things that you do 591 00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:42,680 Speaker 1: in your career, in sleeping with a bunch of women, 592 00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:48,000 Speaker 1: none of them are going to sustain how you feel 593 00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:51,600 Speaker 1: about yourself as a man. Most of those things we 594 00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:57,160 Speaker 1: usually used as males to distract ourselves from the fact 595 00:36:57,239 --> 00:36:59,759 Speaker 1: that we don't really know what our purpose on this 596 00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:05,880 Speaker 1: earth is. So when Will talks about it, it really 597 00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:08,400 Speaker 1: breaks it down. Like it's one thing for me to 598 00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:11,400 Speaker 1: say it in my book, but when you hear powerful 599 00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:16,480 Speaker 1: brothers like Will, like Deal Hugely, like Kevin Hart, like 600 00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:20,800 Speaker 1: Trevor Jackson, like all of these brothers who have a 601 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:24,719 Speaker 1: powerful perspective about what that is and what it meant 602 00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:29,120 Speaker 1: to evolve and to matriculate in the manhood, it really 603 00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:32,680 Speaker 1: drives the point home. So this digital series is powerful. 604 00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,919 Speaker 1: It's all my YouTube channel, which is the male versus 605 00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:40,600 Speaker 1: man channel. Go check out all of the conversations. They're powerful, powerful, 606 00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:43,279 Speaker 1: powerful stuff. You know. I'm gonna do that. I'm talking 607 00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:46,360 Speaker 1: to deanre with fel I call him a friend. I 608 00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:50,120 Speaker 1: call him now. He's as he's a he's a he's 609 00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:53,040 Speaker 1: a minister, a minister of change. Here for us, I 610 00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:56,319 Speaker 1: understand what being a man and being a male are 611 00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:58,920 Speaker 1: two different things. It's a journey that we all need 612 00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:02,439 Speaker 1: to take upon ourselves. The book, it's a great chapter 613 00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:05,439 Speaker 1: and a happy wife, happy life. Love that chapter. God 614 00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:09,600 Speaker 1: plus do equal successful life. You know. Man, you uh 615 00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:13,239 Speaker 1: calm and chaos. I'm gonna tell you something, brother, thank 616 00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:16,239 Speaker 1: you for us book man, Thank you, thank you for 617 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:20,560 Speaker 1: for showing up in Dallas. And that's creating a relationship. 618 00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:23,160 Speaker 1: Uh the second time I've interviewed you on this show. 619 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,440 Speaker 1: Every time I talk to you, Mr whitt Phil, you know, 620 00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:28,080 Speaker 1: because you're preaching, you preach it. When you preach it, 621 00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:32,680 Speaker 1: I gotta call you, Mr Whittfield. You're blessing man. You're 622 00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:35,320 Speaker 1: blessing brother. My family see me some banners so I 623 00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,360 Speaker 1: can promote uh your YouTube channel on my on my 624 00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:40,920 Speaker 1: on my brand and uh, but I love you, man, 625 00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:44,640 Speaker 1: I really, really really do love you. Book Brooklyn Dre. 626 00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:48,319 Speaker 1: I love Brooklyn dra I love it, I love it all. 627 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:53,160 Speaker 1: Don't change, man, don't change. Okay, man. I appreciate you, brother, 628 00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:56,160 Speaker 1: than appreciate you more. Okay. Cool. If you want to 629 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:58,359 Speaker 1: hear more interviewers on Money Making Conversation, go to Money 630 00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:02,200 Speaker 1: Making Conversation dot com. Roshan mcdom I'm your host. In 631 00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:05,040 Speaker 1: this season of giving, Coals has gifts for all your 632 00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:07,440 Speaker 1: loved ones. For those who like to keep it cozy, 633 00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:12,320 Speaker 1: find fleeces, sweaters, loungeware, blankets and throws. Or support minority 634 00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:15,520 Speaker 1: owned or founded brands by giving gifts from Human Nation 635 00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:19,120 Speaker 1: and Shame Moisture and in the spirit of giving, Coals 636 00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:23,600 Speaker 1: Cares is donating eight million dollars to local nonprofits nationwide. 637 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:26,360 Speaker 1: Give with all your heart this season with great gifts 638 00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:30,480 Speaker 1: from Coals or Coals dot Com. Still living in manually 639 00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:32,480 Speaker 1: taking notes, there is a better way to start the 640 00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:35,640 Speaker 1: new year with auto dot ai automatically get meeting notes. 641 00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:39,040 Speaker 1: Auto dot ai works for virtual meetings like Zoom, Microsoft Teams, 642 00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:40,759 Speaker 1: and Google Meet. Sign up on the web for free 643 00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:43,399 Speaker 1: or download in the app stores. Auto dot ai that's 644 00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:47,880 Speaker 1: O T T E R dot AI, sticky notes, email alerts, 645 00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:51,480 Speaker 1: a string around your finger. They're just not big enough. 646 00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:54,360 Speaker 1: So here's a big reminder from the California Lottery. Tomorrow's 647 00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:58,480 Speaker 1: megamillions jack potties three million. Play now, Please play responsible. 648 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:00,279 Speaker 1: You must be eighteen years older to purchase Boy one.