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Speaker 1: Your execution on the Donkey of the day is something

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Speaker 1: to do.

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Speaker 2: Hold give you to read.

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Speaker 1: He gave me Donkey of the day, and I deserve that.

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Speaker 1: You need to know what you need to tell them.

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Speaker 1: I am you have the voice.

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Speaker 3: Tell them it's time for Donkey of the day.

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Speaker 4: It's a read, but you're so good at it, trying

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Speaker 4: to be a fake as Charlamagne.

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Speaker 1: You know what you wants, Charlamage, Yeah, Salomame.

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Speaker 2: Who do you give a dunky of the day? Toun

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Speaker 2: now Donkey of to day for Tuesday, February twenty seventh,

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Speaker 2: sexty Red goes to a sixty year old Texas man

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Speaker 2: named Mitchell vest.

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Speaker 1: No need to waste any time here today, folks.

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Speaker 2: I'm just gonna read you the headline from the New

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Speaker 2: York Post this morning.

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Speaker 1: The headline reads.

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Speaker 2: Kilt wearing shoppers seen stuffing antets up his button and

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Speaker 2: then placing him back on the shelves.

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Speaker 1: Let's go to Fox twenty six Houston for the report. Police.

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Speaker 4: Thursday, February eighth was a normal day at this Spring

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Speaker 4: antique store until cameras caught the moment a customer and

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Speaker 4: a kilt took a liking to certain items on the shelf.

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Speaker 2: I had to watch it a couple of times just

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Speaker 2: to be sure that I knew what I.

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Speaker 4: Was looking at. Susan Golden has managed the eighty five

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Speaker 4: thousand square foot shop for twenty years. Cameras show a

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Speaker 4: man in a tank top and kilt grab a kitchen

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Speaker 4: fork or spoon from a display. He then walks over

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Speaker 4: to the other side. His hand stays behind him for

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Speaker 4: a while. He's then seen placing the item back on

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Speaker 4: the shelf.

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Speaker 1: He spent want to put them back, that he wasn't

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Speaker 1: trying to steal them, he was doing other things with them.

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Speaker 4: In another section, a closer look, he grabs another item,

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Speaker 4: shoves it underneath the kilt, and puts it back.

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Speaker 1: He needs to be caught and stopped.

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Speaker 2: Mitchell Vess was stuffing antiques up his butthole and then

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Speaker 2: placing them back on the shelves. I got so many questions,

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Speaker 2: and I don't know which one to ask first, because

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Speaker 2: I need to know how big were these antique items. Oh,

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Speaker 2: and I need to know how big was his buttole Okay,

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Speaker 2: based on the side of the antiques, I can determine

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Speaker 2: the measurements of his anus, all right, This man is

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Speaker 2: a whole freak ladies in gettlement, and this is what

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Speaker 2: happens when you can't shame people.

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Speaker 1: All right.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I've told you this before, but you

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Speaker 2: have to let people have romantic rectum rendezvous if that's

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Speaker 2: what they want. Okay, y'all have demonized butt play, and

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Speaker 2: I don't think that's fair for those amongst us who

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Speaker 2: enjoy booty exploration. If you want to be Christopher columb

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Speaker 2: but you have that right and you shouldn't be shamed

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Speaker 2: for it.

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Speaker 1: Okay. That doesn't mean, though.

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Speaker 2: You can make poor choices just because you don't have

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Speaker 2: a safe space to do prostate stimulation, all right, Just

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Speaker 2: because you aren't comfortable popping the old gristle ring doesn't

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Speaker 2: give you the right to go commit a crime like this. Okay,

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Speaker 2: you were putting antique items back on the shelf after

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Speaker 2: giving them the scenic tore through Brown Town disgusting. Okay,

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Speaker 2: the good old poop hole loophole. Somebody out there touched

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Speaker 2: all your butt buggets just because you nasty, all right.

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Speaker 1: This is also why.

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Speaker 2: We have to lower inflation, okay, because clearly Mitchell couldn't

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Speaker 2: afford anta plucks right now, this morning, a Google dial

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Speaker 2: those for men, just to see the price of them. Okay,

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Speaker 2: twenty five ninety one for a jack duo mail anal dildo.

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Speaker 1: Okay, they got a coat male anal vibrator for third.

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Speaker 2: He won fifty nine, and poor Mitch can affords either

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Speaker 2: one of them. So instead he's in the antique shop

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Speaker 2: sticking talking pee wee herman dolls up his heini.

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right, I don't know what's happening.

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Speaker 2: Okay, this man is in a kilt sticking antiques up

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Speaker 2: his anus.

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Speaker 1: Okay, he is rowdy roddy fudgepacker. Now we have a.

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Speaker 2: List of things he used to uh, he used to

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Speaker 2: do the chocolate mushroom slap.

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Speaker 1: These are actual things that they said he put in

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Speaker 1: his butt.

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Speaker 2: A makeup brush okay, a restoration hardware piece.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know what that is.

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Speaker 2: Okay, an antique bottle opener, and a tobacco tin can.

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Speaker 1: What the hell is that?

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Speaker 2: What tobacco tint can?

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Speaker 1: These things ain't small items.

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Speaker 2: That's the stuff that you spit the tobacco.

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Speaker 1: Jesus Christ.

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Speaker 2: I'm reading the story, and it says the male was

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Speaker 2: then observed removing the items and placing them back on shelves.

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Speaker 2: If you cavity search this man, there is no telling

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Speaker 2: what you will find.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 2: That man has a pawn shop located right on Prostate Drive.

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Speaker 1: You just gotta go down Hershey Highway and make a left. Okay.

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Speaker 2: And he got everything you're looking for and probably some

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Speaker 2: things you not. Now?

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Speaker 1: Did you not?

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Speaker 2: That the name of an antique store, and I'm not

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Speaker 2: making this up was the Curiosity Shop.

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Speaker 1: I cannot make this kind of stuff up.

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Speaker 2: People, I'm not that good. Google the store. You'll see

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Speaker 2: it yourself. He went to the Curiosity Shop, had a

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Speaker 2: couple of backdoor gasms, and in the complaint, the store

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Speaker 2: owner said it had to throw away the items that

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Speaker 2: were used in this incident due to the items being

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Speaker 2: smothered and faces smothered.

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Speaker 1: And dangle gravy.

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Speaker 2: Oh, he's been arrested for criminal mischief and he's probably

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Speaker 2: disappointed because he won't be in there long enough to get.

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Speaker 1: His starfish stretched.

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Speaker 2: Please give Mitchell Vess the sweet sounds of the Hamiltons.

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Speaker 3: Oh the day, yeah, oh the day year.

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Speaker 1: Such a strange, delightful world we live in. Is is

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Speaker 1: he okay? Like? Mentally?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 1: Is it something you say sixty years old. He got

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Speaker 1: him said, the man has kinks. Man, okay, it.

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Speaker 2: Literally could be something wrong.

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Speaker 1: It has to be something wrong with sixty years old?

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Speaker 1: What what race is here? Play game? Yes, let's play

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Speaker 1: a game of yes what racy?

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Speaker 4: Alright?

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Speaker 2: Mitchell Vest, sixty years old from Texas was in a

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Speaker 2: store called the Curiosity Shop, which is an antique store,

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Speaker 2: wearing a kilt and he was sticking things up his button.

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Speaker 2: Yess what racey is?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 2: Uh?

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Speaker 1: What's his name? Mitchell Vest?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay, why you say why he's wearing kute? That's

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Speaker 1: what I was is Jade Smith. But you know he

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Speaker 1: not really black either, man, Shut up, tj envy Mitchell Vest.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Mitchell Vest, sixty years old from Texas was wearing

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Speaker 2: a kilt in an antique store called the Curiosity Shop, and.

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Speaker 1: He was caught sticking things up his butt. Gus, what racist?

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Speaker 1: I'm going white get kill. I can see why y'all

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Speaker 1: would say that it's the kilt. I can see why y'all. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's like and y'all are absolutely correct.

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Speaker 2: He is big white, big, big capital right white.

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Speaker 1: Right all right? He brought the Trump sneakers off. He

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Speaker 1: made for twenty two thousand dollars white.

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Speaker 2: Okay, right, in salute to the president of the Fat

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Speaker 2: Lives Matter Committee, Big Mac.

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Speaker 1: Big Massive.

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Speaker 2: Imagine beying an antique from that shop and sniffing it

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Speaker 2: and being like the eighties smell kind of Then he

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Speaker 2: said the dude, the dude sold all these items on

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Speaker 2: shark Tank.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, stupid, this guy, he's just from the back.

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Speaker 1: Texted me, okay, all right, well, thank you for that.

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Speaker 1: Donkey Today.

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Speaker 2: So Donkey Today is sponsored by renowned personal injury attorney

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Speaker 2: Michael to Bull lambing soft. Don't be a donkey when

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Speaker 2: you need a fighter on your side. If you're ever injured,

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Speaker 2: Bull dot Com. And when you mess with the Bull,

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Speaker 2: you get the horns.

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Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club