Speaker 1: The Nicky Glaizer Podcast. Here's Nikky. Hello here, I am
Speaker 1: welcome to the show. It's the Nicky Glazer Podcast, Fresh
Speaker 1: week of pod and for you. I'm joined in studio
Speaker 1: in Saint Louis. I'm back home. My mom is here.
Speaker 1: What's up, Julie. Hi, Nikky never called you that in
Speaker 1: my life, so sorry about that. Let's start this. Let's
Speaker 1: start it. Mom's getting old. Yeah, you're more than a
Speaker 1: mom to you.
Speaker 2: It sounds Jules. Just call me Julie mommy mommy would
Speaker 2: be nice. I think I've ever heard that.
Speaker 1: You never said it? I did? Oh mommy? Hut?
Speaker 2: Yeah, when did I drop it? Get let's get back
Speaker 2: to keep back to mommy?
Speaker 3: Like it?
Speaker 1: Daddy? I will never did. I used to say daddy, daddy, Yes,
Speaker 1: of course you did. I used daddy for Chris for
Speaker 1: the dog, and he silently puts up with it. But
Speaker 1: I can tell he really doesn't like it. We're like,
Speaker 1: we find daddy, Well, that's weird. I like it. I
Speaker 1: have a new joke about how you can't get mad
Speaker 1: at me for calling my dog being like do you
Speaker 1: love your mommy to my dog? Or being like I'm
Speaker 1: your mommy, because if I say, I'm oh, I'm your owner.
Speaker 1: Do you love your owner? I sound like Thomas Jefferson
Speaker 1: talking to his slaves. No, it's like owner is a
Speaker 1: weird thing to say. What else would I say in
Speaker 1: that situation?
Speaker 3: Master? Some people say mass see.
Speaker 1: That's that's that is giving plantation as well.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, some people go up to their dogs and
Speaker 4: say you're my slave.
Speaker 1: Wait on, no one tells that too there about Wait?
Speaker 1: Oh yes they did. I guess you're right. Well, dogs
Speaker 1: are slaves they kind of away. Yeah, well they're not,
Speaker 1: well they don't.
Speaker 3: They work for food.
Speaker 1: And he thought it was the other way around where
Speaker 1: their slaves.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, yeah, we're the ones picking up their ship.
Speaker 4: Thomas Jefferson picking his slave ship.
Speaker 1: Well, we did say that to Ceraleina's dog. We called
Speaker 1: her your little sex slave when she had a sex slave, Yeah,
Speaker 1: because she had a leather collar. And Taylor one time
Speaker 1: just saw the leather collar and was like, what's a
Speaker 1: little sex slave? And we were all like, what the fuck?
Speaker 1: And then we all just jokingly were like, Noah was there.
Speaker 1: We were on a girl's trip and we thought it
Speaker 1: was so funny that this dog that Taylor just out
Speaker 1: of nowhere was like, she's a little sex slave because
Speaker 1: she had a leather black collar and it's like she.
Speaker 5: Was a black, fluffy, small dog and she was so
Speaker 5: cute Billy.
Speaker 1: And we just started calling her sex slave and it
Speaker 1: was a sexy makes on the podcast recently, Cerleina loved it,
Speaker 1: but we kept being like, so then it just became
Speaker 1: her name. We're like, so, how sex slave doing? Like
Speaker 1: even when Billy the dog was dying, we were like,
Speaker 1: is sex slave? Okay, Like it just became her name.
Speaker 1: I love when nicknames that are so ridiculous take on.
Speaker 1: You guys always do the extra. Yeah with our friends group. Wait,
Speaker 1: there was one last night that I was we were
Speaker 1: saying and we were like, how is that just what we? Oh?
Speaker 1: Oh it was Octomom. We were talking last night. My
Speaker 1: mom goes, she's like reading her phone. She goes, oh,
Speaker 1: Octomom had another kid, and I go, that's well, that's
Speaker 1: impossible because that's she's too. I was quickly rating she
Speaker 1: had a grandchild, right, and then my mom goes, how
Speaker 1: many kids did that octomom have? And we just waited
Speaker 1: for her to.
Speaker 2: Do the math Sowly, you didn't wait that long.
Speaker 1: I didn't, I go eight, mom, And then you were like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm so dumb, and I go, you're not dumb, because Octomom.
Speaker 1: You don't even think about the number eight. It was
Speaker 1: just like what her name became. Yeah, and it's so
Speaker 1: funny that we all that's such a funny name. And
Speaker 1: then it was just like, that's just her name, and
Speaker 1: no one even laughs anymore when you say octomom, it's
Speaker 1: just like what it was.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So if one of those kids dies, she's still Octomom,
Speaker 4: and then it's like every time her name.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well she had yeah, eight, she had six. You
Speaker 1: had four at home already. I think she had two more. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think she already had kids and then she got
Speaker 1: pregnant with eight more.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she had fifteen or fourteen kids. She had fourteen,
Speaker 2: so she must have had five before the eight.
Speaker 1: I'll wait for you to do this math. I think
Speaker 1: it's exciting. I thought thrilling. I think people are on
Speaker 1: the edge of their fucking scene. I just wanted to
Speaker 1: dress some things. If you're watching the show, I'm wearing sunglasses.
Speaker 1: I'm just like not into my face anymore. I just
Speaker 1: don't want to see my face. I'm not loving the
Speaker 1: lighting in here. I'm not like I see the clips
Speaker 1: and I'm just like you just look tired. I just
Speaker 1: can't do it. And it's too early in the morning.
Speaker 1: My face is not like done the right flushing that
Speaker 1: it needs to do. I should be doing like you
Speaker 1: know where you like press on your limphs and like
Speaker 1: then drain your face with a face massage. If I
Speaker 1: did that, I would be fine, but I'm not don't
Speaker 1: know about that. I have too many things to do
Speaker 1: facial massage. So I just been wearing sunglasses that I
Speaker 1: got sent because I made a TikTok about how I
Speaker 1: got Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift was wearing some sunglasses at
Speaker 1: the US Open back. I bought them instantly. They're ninety
Speaker 1: nine bucks. Anything affordable that she wears, I will buy
Speaker 1: bottom within seconds. They arrived the next day, and then
Speaker 1: I did a TikTok where I put them on and
Speaker 1: I go, oh, actually, I don't like these. And it's
Speaker 1: not like I was gonna say I don't hate them,
Speaker 1: but it blew up, And then a company sent me sunglasses.
Speaker 1: You know, Emily, my social media girl is like Quai
Speaker 1: wants to send you sunglasses because of your TikTok. I'm like, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 1: So I'm wearing those and I do like those. I
Speaker 1: don't even care if you do, or I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: glad you do. Okay, I just I'm I'm I don't know.
Speaker 1: You glasses look good or not on me? Do you
Speaker 1: like them? I haven't even looked in the mirror yet.
Speaker 1: I unbox them and just put them on.
Speaker 2: Before the Niki. You look good in anything.
Speaker 1: That's what I like. And that's why I chose these
Speaker 1: they sent me to And these ones are more covered
Speaker 1: up my face. I really was thinking about wearing some
Speaker 1: sort of veil or something over my face to do
Speaker 1: the podcast. Like I'm not going totally, but like maybe
Speaker 1: a one with just maybe just the eyes that you know, like.
Speaker 3: Ninja turtle mask.
Speaker 1: She's thinking about, Oh, that's interesting, justin okay, I could
Speaker 1: do like a Ninja mask. I just don't. I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to appropriate anyone's culture or religion. Sometimes I could
Speaker 1: get on board with wearing a veiled look. Like there's
Speaker 1: that country singer. Have you ever seen him? He has
Speaker 1: like a country yet and he has like it's like
Speaker 1: almost coming down. Yes, that's his name, and he covers
Speaker 1: his face all the time because I think he does
Speaker 1: the sea thing, which Sia the singer always sings to
Speaker 1: the wall and she has a big wig on because
Speaker 1: she doesn't want to be she when she became famous,
Speaker 1: she didn't want to be seen in public and like recognized,
Speaker 1: so no one really you can. You can know what
Speaker 1: she looks like, but it's not like front and center.
Speaker 1: It's Oliver Pack. That's right. What if I or or yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's right. Well he was one of the guys that
Speaker 1: reached out to Chapel Row and that's all I know.
Speaker 1: But I could do the This would still be honoring
Speaker 1: my contract. If I did the podcast, it still iHeart
Speaker 1: could not sue me for not being on camera. I
Speaker 1: don't think they would, right, this would still work. I
Speaker 1: think I might try that some day.
Speaker 3: You wear a daft punk helmet.
Speaker 1: I should start getting creative with the cover because if
Speaker 1: I can't have hair and makeup, I really am not
Speaker 1: about it, and I'm all about like being yourself. But
Speaker 1: I'll tell you I have hair and makeup and I
Speaker 1: look amazing. I just don't want so much footage of
Speaker 1: me out there looking. I'll beat up there is. I
Speaker 1: wanted to be like a quick ticta. The ship has
Speaker 1: sailed on that. I know it's already out there. Well
Speaker 1: I think now I'm just I can't. I can't do
Speaker 1: it anymore. And I'm also wearing a shirt that I got,
Speaker 1: also for free, and this is not These are not plugs.
Speaker 1: I'm just like telling you about my shirt. It says sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm on voice rest. I saw Hannah Berner wearing this
Speaker 1: shirt on.
Speaker 2: Her.
Speaker 1: Oh, you're just split coffee. Oh man, we gotta see
Speaker 1: that again. God, can we do that her? Oh you're
Speaker 1: displaying coffee. Hell, it was a water breast. Oh, Julieik, Mommy,
Speaker 1: it's a black sweater. It's from the downstairs. This lid
Speaker 1: does not fit for suing my apartment building. It is there.
Speaker 1: So this shirt, I saw Hannah Burner wearing it and
Speaker 1: I DMed her and I was like, where did you
Speaker 1: get that shirt that says sorry, I'm one voice? Yes totally,
Speaker 1: And she said it's our merch for Giggly Squad. She goes,
Speaker 1: what size are you? And I go, whatever size you are.
Speaker 1: I like the way things fit on you. So she
Speaker 1: sent me this shirt and a sweatshirt. It is awesome
Speaker 1: because no one talks to you when you're wearing this.
Speaker 1: How often do you wear have you won? I just
Speaker 1: were today and in my elevator it was like, mum's
Speaker 1: the word, and not that. I don't want to talk
Speaker 1: to people in the elevator. I've been clear about this.
Speaker 1: Casual hello is fine, but I didn't even get that.
Speaker 1: I mean, it is really an antisocial shirt. And it's true.
Speaker 3: We're also wearing masks.
Speaker 1: I oh god, I love I love the shirt and
Speaker 1: I might never ever wear anything else except these shirts.
Speaker 1: Just wear that. In ubers, you hate talking to but
Speaker 1: anger drivers can't read backwards. They can't read. It's just
Speaker 1: very confusing. No no, Uber drivers. No, you can click
Speaker 1: I get Uber blacks and you can say conversation. No,
Speaker 1: no conversation, And then sometimes they go, well you click
Speaker 1: no conversations not then the doctor you and I go oh,
Speaker 1: well that's the okay. No. One doesn't punish me now
Speaker 1: with not no. They do sometimes snarkily say that, and
Speaker 1: then I go, no, I'm sorry, it's just clicked from
Speaker 1: the last time someone else had my app.
Speaker 3: I just like, lie, no, not you. I'd love to
Speaker 3: talk to you about it. You seem great Sun's graduation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you seem not you know, passive aggressive at all.
Speaker 1: You you seem to like to have a lot to
Speaker 1: say about bitcoin.
Speaker 4: Speaking of different languages, I was at a hotel, uh
Speaker 4: and I had a delivery. You know, you can deliver
Speaker 4: to the lobby. Obviously I've met with this guy and
Speaker 4: he didn't speak English. And have you seen those commercials?
Speaker 4: I think it's for like Google Pixel with that phone
Speaker 4: that like flips up like.
Speaker 1: You can like like you can stand it like a chair.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can stand it like a chair.
Speaker 4: And then like they have these commercials where someone's in
Speaker 4: a different country and they speak a language and the
Speaker 4: person's like, I don't understand what the fuck you're saying,
Speaker 4: and then she brings out her phone and she's let
Speaker 4: and then she says it into the phone and it
Speaker 4: translates it automatically.
Speaker 1: No, I haven't seen the commercial, but okay, I can.
Speaker 3: Well that's a commercial.
Speaker 4: And when I watch that commercial, I'm like, it doesn't
Speaker 4: really clock how amazing that technology is. But then I
Speaker 4: got a door dash delivered to the hotel lobby and
Speaker 4: the guy didn't speak English, and he was delivering like
Speaker 4: the wrong food to me, and I was like, I
Speaker 4: don't think this is mine. I think this is my bag,
Speaker 4: and he's like, I don't understand what you're saying. And
Speaker 4: then he took out his Google phone and I spoke
Speaker 4: into the phone in English and it translated it into
Speaker 4: whatever lang. I didn'tven know what language he was speaking.
Speaker 4: It was all these weird letters. I didn't understand. I
Speaker 4: couldn't even discern what language it was. What the phone
Speaker 4: translated what I said automatically. And then he said something
Speaker 4: back to me and the phone translated it for me,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, this is the most incredible technology I've
Speaker 4: ever seen.
Speaker 1: That's great.
Speaker 2: So you saw a firsthand.
Speaker 1: I saw. I saw that commercial too, so yeah, I
Speaker 1: know what you're talking.
Speaker 4: On the commercial, it feels like, oh, this is done.
Speaker 4: This woman doesn't want to have hot soup or whatever.
Speaker 4: And but in real life, it's like there's no language
Speaker 4: barrier anymore.
Speaker 3: As long as you have that.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine how awesome you didn't just see he
Speaker 1: didn't have your phone or your food was it was
Speaker 1: the wrong food, So obviously it's like the wrong courier,
Speaker 1: and so you just walk away like not in a
Speaker 1: rude way, but you're just like, oh, it's the wrong one.
Speaker 4: Like well, he winded me the bag and then I
Speaker 4: was about to walk away, and then I look in
Speaker 4: the bag and I'm like, wait a second, this isn't
Speaker 4: because I even said for Brian and he said yes,
Speaker 4: and it wasn't for Brian.
Speaker 3: He just didn't know English.
Speaker 4: He didn't know what I was saying, right, So I
Speaker 4: took the bag, I started walking away. I looked at
Speaker 4: it and I was like, this isn't enough stuff. And
Speaker 4: I ran after him and I said, hey, hey, I
Speaker 4: even said his name because it says the person's name
Speaker 4: on door dash, and he said, like Dylan, Dylan, and
Speaker 4: he turned around even though his name's not Dylan.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so this guy totally, this poor guy. You know,
Speaker 1: I feel so bad for anyone who come home to
Speaker 1: a country and is working and doesn't understand just basic,
Speaker 1: the basic language. Shout out to anyone. I mean, they're
Speaker 1: not listening to this. Maybe they're translating it. But if
Speaker 1: you are ailding their phone right up to this, yeah,
Speaker 1: but if that would be so hard. I like panic
Speaker 1: when I'm in another country and I don't speak the language,
Speaker 1: and I just feel so embarrassed. I feel so embarrassed
Speaker 1: and I but on the flip side, I've never embarrassed
Speaker 1: for people who don't know English. No, you're right, you shouldn't.
Speaker 3: I was amazed.
Speaker 4: I was just amazing, stunned at the effectiveness of this phone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's pretty cool. I mean there's I do
Speaker 1: the thing when I'm in foreign countries where you take
Speaker 1: a picture. You don't even take a picture, you just
Speaker 1: hold up you camera and every word gets translated on
Speaker 1: your screen.
Speaker 3: MM, yeah that's what Yeah.
Speaker 1: But I mean, like so if you like are looking
Speaker 1: like when we were looking for cough medicine for you,
Speaker 1: it just hold it up and it would just translate
Speaker 1: all the words on the picture. Oh how we get
Speaker 1: around before? Then? Well this is going to change everything.
Speaker 1: I mean it's been around for a while. I think.
Speaker 4: You can take a picture of French words and then
Speaker 4: it'll translate it for you to.
Speaker 1: Even take a picture. You just hold your camera over it,
Speaker 1: and then all the words on the picture on your
Speaker 1: phone that are in French will have a little uh
Speaker 1: you know, as if you were writing text in to
Speaker 1: type it, they will just have that text being who
Speaker 1: on a menu. It's awesome. It's just it's a free app.
Speaker 1: It's like Google Translate. I think, Wow, it's.
Speaker 4: A Translate is amazing. Thank god for Google. You know,
Speaker 4: they've saved this planet. Truly, that is the most amazing company.
Speaker 1: I was thinking to this weekend, Like, you know, we
Speaker 1: always talk about how no one looks anything, no one
Speaker 1: thinks anything anymore. They're just like, oh, who is that
Speaker 1: guy in that movie? And you just like google it
Speaker 1: and you find it, Like that is truly atrophying a
Speaker 1: part of your brain that used to have to eat.
Speaker 1: Like now my brain doesn't even think to think, if
Speaker 1: that makes any sense, Like if you were to be
Speaker 1: like Nikki, what's that one movie? I wouldn't even think
Speaker 1: to go let me think about it. I would just
Speaker 1: think to grab my phone entight. Yeah, so you don't
Speaker 1: even think to think.
Speaker 2: It's true, there's no thinking going on anymore, and so easy.
Speaker 1: They're really This is why meditation it makes so much sense.
Speaker 1: Why meditation has become such a huge part of our
Speaker 1: culture is because it is just the only way people
Speaker 1: do anything without being on their phones. Like people don't
Speaker 1: just sit with their thoughts anymore. Ever, you don't have
Speaker 1: to ever ever, ever, and you used to not really
Speaker 1: Like in the nineties, people watched a lot of TV,
Speaker 1: but now it's like now the whole joke is like
Speaker 1: anything you're watching on TV, you're not watching because you're
Speaker 1: on your phone. I mean, I read a meme I
Speaker 1: posted on my story yesterday that was like me watching
Speaker 1: a movie. I don't know, me watching a movie while
Speaker 1: on my phone the whole time. I don't know. It's
Speaker 1: just like slow and kind of boring and confusing. That's
Speaker 1: how I feel about everything. It's like I'm not giving
Speaker 1: any things a fair chance. No, it's my phone. It's
Speaker 1: not very easy just to google and you don't. But
Speaker 1: we have to challenge ourselves to like maybe try to
Speaker 1: think of that one song, or try like person or that.
Speaker 1: Push yourself a little bit, crossword puzzles. Help me do that,
Speaker 1: because you do need to think in those. But it's yeah, oh,
Speaker 1: elevate the app.
Speaker 4: Elevate by the way they did, they did fulfill their
Speaker 4: promise and they did give me a lifetime membership for freek.
Speaker 1: God that's great. Yes, Wow, it's an app that helps
Speaker 1: your brain. I know. I remember we were all talking
Speaker 1: about it. Yeah, and they offered a lifetime membership because
Speaker 1: I'm really into this thing of like, like you talk
Speaker 1: about something that people reach out and find you, Like
Speaker 1: Emily today just freaked out my social media girl. Emily.
Speaker 1: I'm not so I don't have to say social media
Speaker 1: girl every time, but Emily reached out to me today
Speaker 1: and she's like dead deceased, which means you know, something
Speaker 1: big happened. And I'm like, oh my god, what's this
Speaker 1: going to be? And that's gen Z for like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, this is amazing. I'm like so excited. I'm dead,
Speaker 1: I'm deceased, Okay, not living. Plan my funeral eulogize me
Speaker 1: and they just say that, but they say it was
Speaker 1: like it all caps. So she wrote dead, deceased, something
Speaker 1: like that, and then she wrote she sent me a
Speaker 1: screenshot that diet Coke commented on one of my tiktoks.
Speaker 1: She's like flipping out. She's like, Nikki, this is major
Speaker 1: because diet Coke commented something. She goes, no, no, dot
Speaker 1: fucking dot way, and then diet Coke commented, so important
Speaker 1: to set these boundaries because I posted a TikTok and
Speaker 1: then I go, oh my god, it's the Taylor Swift
Speaker 1: of brands and she goes, no, this is so huge, Wow,
Speaker 1: it's gonna happen. But I just love TikTok is becoming
Speaker 1: a new fun challenge for me. You're page is blowing
Speaker 1: up for sure, Like I did, thank you. I did
Speaker 1: one the other day, like Emily will send me, you know,
Speaker 1: a bunch of suggestions of ones we are on the
Speaker 1: road this weekend, and she sent me like, I was like,
Speaker 1: just send me some trends that are happening, maybe I'll
Speaker 1: do them. And I was looking them over and I
Speaker 1: didn't understand most of the jokes being made, like it
Speaker 1: just I will. I would like to I would like
Speaker 1: to talk to some people about the humor that's being
Speaker 1: passed around on TikTok because I don't understand it. I
Speaker 1: don't even have TikTok. We need to keep you off
Speaker 1: that you will be to anyone again. No, dad's addicted
Speaker 1: to Reddit. Reddit. Yeah, yeah, sorry, so different. Sorry, but
Speaker 1: TikTok You're gonna love. It's pretty much do you do
Speaker 1: reels on Instagram? Yeah, that's TikTok okay, but it's more
Speaker 1: curated and I think it's a little more addictive on TikTok. Anyway,
Speaker 1: this weekend. She sent me a bunch of ones, and
Speaker 1: one was like, you know, you could do this thing.
Speaker 1: It was like a Katie Perry song and are supposed
Speaker 1: to like sing it like sweetly to the camera and
Speaker 1: like look kind of cute doing it, okay, And it's
Speaker 1: for like girls who are cute that like their brand
Speaker 1: is being adorable, and like I totally honor that, and
Speaker 1: it's just not I'm not capable of being that, like
Speaker 1: I'm adorable and having everyone go yeah she hit you know,
Speaker 1: like it's just I can't do it. And so yeah,
Speaker 1: it's gotta it's gotta be funny. It's gotta be like
Speaker 1: I it's gotta I gotta sneak and people have to
Speaker 1: be think I'm adorable despite me, Like I have to
Speaker 1: look like I'm not trying to be are you right?
Speaker 1: But these like you try to be adorable and that's
Speaker 1: the goal. And anyway, so I looked at it, and
Speaker 1: I was with Bill and Sean, my friends, and and
Speaker 1: Bill was like supposed to film me for I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, Bill, will you film me for a TikTok?
Speaker 1: And so I'm just going through these like looking to
Speaker 1: see which one I'll do and I was just like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that. That's I'm not fucking doing that,
Speaker 1: and I I just and then I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that could be kind of funny, Like maybe that becomes
Speaker 1: a TikTok of me, and then I'll title it my
Speaker 1: social media manager sending my gen Z social media manager
Speaker 1: sending me things that I should do at or whatever.
Speaker 1: And then it's just me going I'm not doing that.
Speaker 3: No, hell, not not doing it.
Speaker 1: And then yeah, and then now it has like a
Speaker 1: million views just me saying that. Wow, and then the
Speaker 1: character was like, no, no chance, am I gonna be
Speaker 1: this adorable? And then we like kind of put the
Speaker 1: video I was watching in the corner so you can
Speaker 1: see what I'm watching and being like, uh uh, not
Speaker 1: doing that. And then it has a million views, and
Speaker 1: now that is being clipped. Me saying no, not doing
Speaker 1: that is now going to be a SoundBite that people
Speaker 1: use in their own tiktoks to like, do you know
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about?
Speaker 2: To yea to lip sync too, Oh right, I've seen
Speaker 2: I've seen that, and.
Speaker 1: It's taking on a life of its own. It's just this,
Speaker 1: this is fun to me, and I feel like anyone
Speaker 1: on TikTok watching me is not the same people on Instagram, Like,
Speaker 1: I feel so much freeer on TikTok.
Speaker 3: Wow, Like I.
Speaker 1: Don't feel like there can be watching me being like.
Speaker 3: Only people watching you is the Chinese government.
Speaker 1: My target audience. That's a good point. So yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: really digging it.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: So that's a new whole new thing, your trendsetter and TikTok.
Speaker 1: I mean, I hate to tell you how much money
Speaker 1: you make off of these. I mean, and you wouldn't believe.
Speaker 1: I had no idea. Emily's like, yeah, that video just
Speaker 1: made you. Oh how much one thousand dollars?
Speaker 3: Wow?
Speaker 2: Just from that going viral?
Speaker 1: That one maybe not I think like ones that have
Speaker 1: like two point five million, one thousand dollars. I didn't
Speaker 1: know there was money like this to mew. I guess
Speaker 1: people do know this because they watch YouTube videos about
Speaker 1: influencers making things. I'm I'm sorry that number.
Speaker 3: Is tricking people. People know.
Speaker 1: People know that. I didn't know that.
Speaker 3: I heard when I watched social media channels.
Speaker 4: I've heard that TikTok pays the least out of anybody,
Speaker 4: and that the real money is in what I said.
Speaker 1: She goes you need to start a YouTube, but I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: what do I do on there? So let her guide you.
Speaker 1: My God, but I'm scared on YouTube it's long form
Speaker 1: and there's more judgment and there's comments that are more
Speaker 1: accessible on the SAE.
Speaker 4: The podcast is supposed to be that, like you're that's
Speaker 4: what you would do? Is it's like an hour, like
Speaker 4: thirty minutes of just talking.
Speaker 1: That's right. Well, we don't have those kind of numbers
Speaker 1: on YouTube yet. But after this coffee spill that you've
Speaker 1: got to go watch my mom. It's gonna send people
Speaker 1: in throngs over there. We gotta go to break. We'll
Speaker 1: be back with I want to do a little I got.
Speaker 1: I got some things that I want to show you
Speaker 1: and I want you to give your thoughts on them. Fine,
Speaker 1: be back after this. Okay. So I went on, I
Speaker 1: got I got some stuff. I got back in town
Speaker 1: from being gone for three weeks, and there are a
Speaker 1: lot of packages waiting for me and I first year,
Speaker 1: I ordered a lot of stuff. Didn't I see you?
Speaker 1: At some point?
Speaker 2: You did see me, but I still missed you. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: still a long time.
Speaker 1: That's right. You flew Yeah, I saw you. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: partied it up, it up. We sure did. It was
Speaker 1: so fun. I almost didn't want to go too hard
Speaker 1: about how fun it was last night because with you
Speaker 1: and me and Dad at dinner because he knew I
Speaker 1: can't party, wasn't as fun as yours.
Speaker 3: He had.
Speaker 2: He had such a good time.
Speaker 1: He did, and he actually got to see me like
Speaker 1: present an Emmy and then get not like he was
Speaker 1: in the mix. He was in. He had a better
Speaker 1: like show experience. You had parties, your party.
Speaker 2: He was hanging with Rob Reiner.
Speaker 1: That's all he's really he wanted. He love. Okay, so
Speaker 1: open that thing I got. It's not for you, it's
Speaker 1: for me, but you can borrow it. But if this
Speaker 1: is the thing, its golden. Yeah, it is golden.
Speaker 3: Julie's opening a satchels pouring something.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I love it.
Speaker 1: Isn't it so good? You said you were going to
Speaker 1: order this, Yes, it's oh yeah, I sent it to
Speaker 1: you already, damn it, because I was going to have
Speaker 1: you guess the price.
Speaker 3: It's a golden chain.
Speaker 2: I really don't know the price.
Speaker 1: Well, it's a Versace.
Speaker 3: Video. What you need to make before you can take
Speaker 3: one fifth?
Speaker 1: Is this? Inspired by Taylor Swift. Oh yes, it's a
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift lover necklace that she wears that she's worn before.
Speaker 1: And I found it on Etsy for two hundred and
Speaker 1: ten bucks. Wow, that's the most I ever been a bargain.
Speaker 1: Oh I love I do love it too. I'm so excited. Okay,
Speaker 1: and then now I got another thing.
Speaker 2: I really don't know how to get this off. Just
Speaker 2: press the no, there's pressure, it's nothing.
Speaker 1: Well, you can keep it. Thanks.
Speaker 3: Also very quick with the fraction there.
Speaker 1: Really Yeah, I just went to two hundred and then.
Speaker 2: Two hundred is cheap for this.
Speaker 4: I mean I don't think i'd be able to get
Speaker 4: one fifth means two hundred that quickly.
Speaker 1: Out of a thousand.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think so. Math this real atrophying brain stuff.
Speaker 4: Math for me is like it might as well be
Speaker 4: like Egyptian hieroglyphics.
Speaker 3: I look at the numbers. Yeah, I can't even do it.
Speaker 1: Nipth guy? No?
Speaker 3: Is he that the words?
Speaker 5: Guy?
Speaker 1: kIPS?
Speaker 3: I mean I I let me give you a tip.
Speaker 1: Okay the bill. The bill is one hundred and eighty bucks.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, so tip twenty percent okay, uh, thirty six
Speaker 4: dollars yeah, okay, I.
Speaker 1: Would just round up to like for me to be easy,
Speaker 1: because sometimes I'm like eighteen, I'm like times two. I'm
Speaker 1: like so I would just go to any and then
Speaker 1: make it forty and then subtract four, or I would
Speaker 1: really just make it.
Speaker 2: Because I've seen you. Oh wait a minute, wait, I
Speaker 2: want to ask you.
Speaker 1: Yes, real, yeah, it's real. I think it like I
Speaker 1: think it retails for like five seventy fives. My god, Nick,
Speaker 1: use this a bargain, isn't it? Isn't it?
Speaker 2: Nick? I'm not kidding.
Speaker 1: I know, I know I love you would like it.
Speaker 1: I love it too, and see that that's I love this.
Speaker 1: It is so cool. This should be okay, a regular
Speaker 1: So then I also like so cool. Taylor Switchers at
Speaker 1: the VMA's I know who she has do it's tom Ford? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Well she was the vamze and someone asked her what
Speaker 1: she was wearing, like she smelled good, and she said
Speaker 1: tom Ford. And I don't know how Emily knew it
Speaker 1: was this kind of tom Ford, Like, who.
Speaker 2: Really guess there's two different ones? Oh, there's lots of
Speaker 2: different No, but she said which one? They I guess
Speaker 2: they surmised which one I read the same article. I
Speaker 2: saw Taylor Swift have the conversation. She did not say
Speaker 2: which tom Ford said it was tom Ward, but everyone
Speaker 2: seems to think it's this one based on the googling.
Speaker 2: And it's uh santal blush de parfume.
Speaker 1: And you know that Chris does not like sense. Oh,
Speaker 1: and so I've snuck this. He doesn't know him mallet.
Speaker 1: And I think I like it because it doesn't give
Speaker 1: too girly. It's not too it's not masculine, but it's
Speaker 1: not too floral. And yeah, you can try some of it.
Speaker 1: I want to see what you think. Wait a minute,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but I but I sprayed it this weekend
Speaker 1: and both and I told my both my male openers,
Speaker 1: because you wear it for I want women to think
Speaker 1: it smell good, but like I don't want men to
Speaker 1: be like pulse by it. And both my male openers,
Speaker 1: who I said, please do not just know that I
Speaker 1: will not be insulted if you don't like the way
Speaker 1: my wrist smells. Like right now, I just got this,
Speaker 1: I will give it away. It does not hurt my feelings.
Speaker 1: And they were like, no, that's really good. I don't
Speaker 1: know if I still trust them though, I think they will. Yeah, Sean, Yeah, Sean, right, wouldn't.
Speaker 1: They're like, they're telling me what I want to hear.
Speaker 1: They know I gave them every opportunity to not. I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 1: She's not a fan.
Speaker 2: It's kind of a they called Santeo. It's kind of
Speaker 2: a sandally uh like Sandal would Sandal like old Teva.
Speaker 2: I'm not a fan of us.
Speaker 1: You aren't. No, I don't. I wouldn't care. If it
Speaker 1: smelled like dog shit and Taylor Swift were it, you
Speaker 1: would love it. Yeah, I just don't care. I don't
Speaker 1: have my own. No, you really don't like it? Gets wrong?
Speaker 1: I like it. I like it. I'm gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 1: wear it.
Speaker 3: Broke So I was wearing the scent of coffee.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why I don't like it.
Speaker 2: It's mixed with that and it's not.
Speaker 1: A good So you're you don't like it? Do you
Speaker 1: like a sense? Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I honestly I cannot believe that smells like that. I
Speaker 2: couldn't wait to smell this. Yeah, I saw the same
Speaker 2: kind of article. I was like, I gotta go check
Speaker 2: this time. Well I did check it out. I know
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, well, here's the thing. I've never even
Speaker 2: thought you're so good. You're like going, oh, Chris, Dunlike.
Speaker 2: It's like I've never even asked your dad, do you
Speaker 2: like this?
Speaker 1: Well, dad, well, Chris offers, I do not like perfumes.
Speaker 1: I do not like smells.
Speaker 2: He's not gonna like that.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think so, but it's gonna be really
Speaker 1: too powerful. I have like shampoos, I have conditioners, I
Speaker 1: have hair sprays. I'm constantly wearing. You have a lot
Speaker 1: of things that smell, and Chris is never annoyed with those.
Speaker 1: So I'm just he doesn't even know that. He just
Speaker 1: thinks it's a more delicate. Yeah, they're not as potent,
Speaker 1: that's true. But I'm going to be very gentle with this.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: The concept of perfume, to me is as absurd, the
Speaker 4: idea that we need to like smell like walk through
Speaker 4: the world, like like if you go into a subway,
Speaker 4: there's like fifteen people wearing different perfumes and colognes and stuff,
Speaker 4: and it's like, this just smells insane.
Speaker 1: I see the point of it, because smell is such
Speaker 1: a memory trigger, and if someone like mimes, if I
Speaker 1: smell red door. It reminds me of mem There's nothing
Speaker 1: else that will elicit the same kind of emotional response
Speaker 1: in my body of like Mimi than the smell of
Speaker 1: red door. There's nothing I couldn't see something, even a
Speaker 1: picture of her would not give me the same like
Speaker 1: oh like like she's here as a smell. So I
Speaker 1: do think they're important, and I do think it's kind
Speaker 1: of cool when people have their own scent, and like
Speaker 1: care a lot about fragrance, Like I follow all these
Speaker 1: subreddits about fragrances, and these people are obsessed with them,
Speaker 1: and I wish that. I I want to like ers. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't trust my own taste.
Speaker 4: But then, also, like scent is, it's invasive. There's no
Speaker 4: way to get away from it. If you step into
Speaker 4: an elevator with someone who's wearing perfume, you're just scrapped
Speaker 4: in a in a stench dungeon.
Speaker 1: And then for a little I know, but then you
Speaker 1: get used to it because it's a part of you,
Speaker 1: like you get used to any smell.
Speaker 3: That is what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: If you if you're just on the elevator and then
Speaker 4: someone who has perfume on walks into the elevator. It's
Speaker 4: so invasive in your space to have this. What if
Speaker 4: you don't like the smell. It's like someone is just
Speaker 4: yelling in your face.
Speaker 1: Except except the only thing that I worry about is
Speaker 1: people being like offended by what I have on me.
Speaker 4: It's so different than wearing, than just having bo than
Speaker 4: just walking into an elevator.
Speaker 1: Different. It's unequivocally disgusting. Everyone hates. And then there's I
Speaker 1: think perfume is.
Speaker 3: I think rose water is disgusting.
Speaker 5: Oh I.
Speaker 1: That's my favorite se I don't know what it's.
Speaker 3: Smells like to.
Speaker 4: You know, Yeah, is fresh linens when a when a
Speaker 4: company tries to like make their soaps smell like something
Speaker 4: that people imagine fresh linen smells like fresh rain spring missed.
Speaker 3: All those sense smell like shit.
Speaker 1: They just are artificial, And I can understand why they
Speaker 1: irritate you because they're made with chemicals. But if something's
Speaker 1: made like with essential oil your things, I don't mind it.
Speaker 1: Where do you stand perfumes? I do not.
Speaker 5: I'm on Chris's side. I don't like when Avi wears cologne.
Speaker 5: I think because my dad would put so much on
Speaker 5: and we would be locked in the car with him,
Speaker 5: and it would give me headaches and stuff. But I
Speaker 5: do like natural ones, like ones made with like essential
Speaker 5: oils and stuff.
Speaker 1: Very very light, very light. Okay, I agree. I agree
Speaker 1: with that.
Speaker 3: MS.
Speaker 2: We were somewhere and some guy I hugged me, and
Speaker 2: his smell stayed with me.
Speaker 1: The restaurant. Remember we remember I took you and dad
Speaker 1: to a restaurant a couple of weeks ago with Chris.
Speaker 1: It was loud inside. Okay, I'm not gonna say where
Speaker 1: it is. It's really nice, I know, Oh yeah, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that guy, yeah waiter loved my parents talking about calling
Speaker 1: you mom. He called you mom, right, yeah, and then
Speaker 1: he gave her a hug on the way out, and.
Speaker 2: That's I was like, oh my god, we're even outside
Speaker 2: and I can't get this smell off of me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was really heavily. I can't. Okay, Now, I
Speaker 1: really regret this purchase. But I'm sure, Nikki, it's not tailor.
Speaker 1: It's good for me, and I don't believe it's tailor.
Speaker 1: Would ever wear that? What do you mean? It's tom Ford.
Speaker 1: It's like somebody's wearing it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, somebody's wearing She wouldn't wear that.
Speaker 1: Yes, stop saying it was. I don't like that tone.
Speaker 1: She wouldn't wear that is really an ear because you're
Speaker 1: making me, you're shaming me by using my.
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't wear that.
Speaker 2: She's kind of cool.
Speaker 1: Okay, tom Ford is cool, Mom, Nikki, smell it again.
Speaker 1: It's weird everyone to go back and listen to that
Speaker 1: tone my mom just did because that I don't mean
Speaker 1: her trying to get me to never do something and
Speaker 1: like to.
Speaker 2: No, I love that you follow Taylor and that necklace
Speaker 2: is over the top, Nikki, she would never wear something.
Speaker 1: I just feel like that with my tailor.
Speaker 4: And then you tried to put you tried to say,
Speaker 4: please don't use my idol against me. No, No, she
Speaker 4: just wouldn't wear it because she's cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah, honestly, I don't think she would wear it's it's
Speaker 1: it's it hurts my feelings. But that's okay. But you
Speaker 1: didn't you didn't invent it. It's not like and you're
Speaker 1: not even sure that's her scent. I'm pretty sure, pretty sure,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure it's not.
Speaker 4: Tom Ford was sitting in a lab a couple of
Speaker 4: weeks ago with sense.
Speaker 1: I'm opening a package. This is the shirt I got Chris.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's gonna fit him. What is that?
Speaker 1: It's Brian Adams from ann World Tour for his birthday. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I got him a couple of vintage shirts for his birthday.
Speaker 1: One of them got sent to the hotel that we
Speaker 1: already left, and I don't even know how to get it.
Speaker 1: I need an assistant in La, if anyone is trustworthy
Speaker 1: and can like run errands for me in LA. Someone
Speaker 1: who's trustworthy who I know, of course she is, I
Speaker 1: just feel I don't want to. She's got a lot
Speaker 1: going on. Yeah, she has way too much going on,
Speaker 1: and it's that's true. Yeah, but she does do stuff
Speaker 1: for me. But if there's anyone in LA who is
Speaker 1: looking for uh, some kind of wants to run some
Speaker 1: tasks for me. It doesn't mean you'll be a part
Speaker 1: of my life. You might never even meet me. I
Speaker 1: might have you just ship things to me and pick
Speaker 1: things up. So if you just you know, and that
Speaker 1: then you can just DM me.
Speaker 2: Someone will be there for sure. You've got plenty of
Speaker 2: l fans.
Speaker 1: Well, that would be nice. I'll pay generously, I mean,
Speaker 1: not like, oh I will do but you. Okay, this
Speaker 1: is so confusing to me. Whenever I pay anything, my
Speaker 1: mom goes, I would okay, this this is the wildest one. Okay.
Speaker 1: So what I so, okay my mom and dad for
Speaker 1: are their dogs. I got a sitter for their dogs, right,
Speaker 1: their dogs? That are my old dogs. Which is what
Speaker 1: was the plan? Whi's like, you know, if you guys
Speaker 1: take care of these dogs for the rest of their
Speaker 1: lives and which they want because they love the dogs.
Speaker 1: I'll pay for their food, I'll pay for their vets.
Speaker 1: I'll pay for literally every cost they ever have the
Speaker 1: rest of their lives. Fair deal. They're taking care of them.
Speaker 1: So when my parents go out of town, I are
Speaker 1: a dog sitterer. My mom found out how much I'm
Speaker 1: paying that dog sitter and this is my mom's words, Well,
Speaker 1: then I'll watch those dogs for that and I go
Speaker 1: they're your dogs. Like this doesn't even make sense, Like,
Speaker 1: now you keep talking about your dog. Oh, you'll watch
Speaker 1: my dog for that amount, don't? Yes, well it's I
Speaker 1: do it for free. Here's the thing is, I will
Speaker 1: you whenever you find out what I pay people, because
Speaker 1: I am I feel that I pay very generous, not
Speaker 1: very but like pretty generously for things you always go
Speaker 1: I would do that for that. And it's like, but
Speaker 1: I don't want you to have to like move an
Speaker 1: armoire for me, like.
Speaker 2: You, well I can't do that. Well yeah, but you
Speaker 2: the dog watching.
Speaker 1: If you need some money, I will give you.
Speaker 2: My don't thing Like, just listen, here's something I want money,
Speaker 2: earn money.
Speaker 1: I want to earn it. I don't want to. I
Speaker 1: want to give you. You've earned it by being my mom
Speaker 1: and being so supportive and you're my mommy, and so
Speaker 1: I give you money. I want to give you enough
Speaker 1: money that you stop saying I do that. I'll fly
Speaker 1: to La to get some packages for you. I love La.
Speaker 1: What is the price that you would not do a
Speaker 1: menial tax for task for forty bucks?
Speaker 2: What is something I want to do?
Speaker 1: Like, would you ever if you were a millionaire, would
Speaker 1: you still be interested in picking up a package for
Speaker 1: like in mailing it for fifty extra bucks? Yes, well
Speaker 1: you have a million dollars. Why do you need to
Speaker 1: do that? I just love to make money. This is
Speaker 1: so weird.
Speaker 2: It's not that weird, I mean.
Speaker 1: Because it is weird because your time is money. Your
Speaker 1: time is valuable and going off and sending a package
Speaker 1: is like not something you should be doing with your
Speaker 1: time if you have a million dollars.
Speaker 4: Well, people who are rich, they'll like pick up pennies
Speaker 4: and stuff and they'll be like, you got to save
Speaker 4: every penny and write about it on their website.
Speaker 2: Might be dumb, but it feels practical.
Speaker 1: But it's so funny to me that you're you're always
Speaker 1: trying to like, I want your life to be comfortable,
Speaker 1: yet you're still like, uh, like, oh, my parents TV
Speaker 1: broke yesterday, and I go just buy a new Can
Speaker 1: I buy you a new TV? I pulled out my
Speaker 1: phone to like look it up. I'm like, let me
Speaker 1: just buy you to be because I don't want my
Speaker 1: model meet some man in a Maryland Heights Lows parking
Speaker 1: lot because she found it on Craigslaw. I found out
Speaker 1: how cheap they're really, and we don't have the goddamn
Speaker 1: cord for it. But your dad's gonna go and he's
Speaker 1: gonna go find the cord and send them off to
Speaker 1: the cord And it'll take you five days to get
Speaker 1: a TV that you bought and you have to drive
Speaker 1: all the way out to Fluorescent.
Speaker 2: I'm doing that I'm not looking at these TVs now
Speaker 2: you aren't. No, you can't like an hour the doctor's office.
Speaker 2: Look one last time? Is there one?
Speaker 4: No, it's worth the price of a TV just to
Speaker 4: have a TV delivered to your house to not know.
Speaker 1: I know, yeah, I know. That's what My mom loves
Speaker 1: putting things in her car. She loves loading things into
Speaker 1: a car. It triggers me.
Speaker 2: Some day with something.
Speaker 1: He's like, we can't infit a TV, and yeah we can.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's not I'm you know what I'm in awe,
Speaker 1: I like respect it. There's a couple of things. Yes
Speaker 1: I do, Yes, I do. I honestly I don't because
Speaker 1: earn things too. So she absolutely does respect it. I respect.
Speaker 1: Here's here's what I am learning about myself. Like this morning,
Speaker 1: I was we're talking some girls chat and I'm one
Speaker 1: of our girlfriends has like their mother in law staying
Speaker 1: with them, and that I would never want, like not
Speaker 1: because I don't love no matter who my mother in laws.
Speaker 1: I'm not thinking about someone in particular, I mean any
Speaker 1: I don't want anyone staying at my house now, you
Speaker 1: li truly, ever, I don't care if it's my best friend.
Speaker 1: I don't care. I don't want anyone, and I know
Speaker 1: that's weird, and I don't know what's wrong with me.
Speaker 1: I just i'd like to do the things the way
Speaker 1: I like to do. I don't want to feel like
Speaker 1: I have to wake up earlier because they might be up.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to feel like, oh, they might not
Speaker 1: know how to work the coffee maker, so I need
Speaker 1: to be up to show them how. But people love
Speaker 1: having company. I'm not one of those people, and I
Speaker 1: just need to be okay with it. Here's another thing.
Speaker 1: I was watching Hacks last night and they were loading
Speaker 1: an old chest of drawers into a bus and they
Speaker 1: were at a yard sale, which reminded me of you Okay.
Speaker 1: It was on season two Okay pull Off. They go
Speaker 1: to a yard sale and what's her name finds a
Speaker 1: big chest of drawers that she's like, oh, this is
Speaker 1: worth twenty thousand dollars, and she tries the low ball
Speaker 1: the guy, and the whole time I'm thinking, I'm like,
Speaker 1: already stressing out where are they going to put this thing?
Speaker 1: They're on a bus ontour on the road, and that's
Speaker 1: I doubt anyone watching that scene would be like, what
Speaker 1: how are they going to transport it? And then instantly
Speaker 1: it cuts to them like loading it on, and I
Speaker 1: started getting almost hives from like having to like carry
Speaker 1: an armore and like load it onto something. That's why
Speaker 1: I don't think I want to move ever, is because
Speaker 1: I don't like watching people move furniture. I get stressed
Speaker 1: out by the idea of a couch fitting through a doorway.
Speaker 1: Anytime I go to like a living spaces and I
Speaker 1: see couches, I'm like, I can't believe people like getting
Speaker 1: new couches because it stresses me out having to take
Speaker 1: the old couch out and like angle it and have
Speaker 1: sweaty men being like oh got it and ruining their
Speaker 1: bodies in front of me. So I sit them like
Speaker 1: way too much because I felt like why you sorry.
Speaker 2: You had me come when you had this couch you did?
Speaker 1: You're like, I got out of town. When my couches
Speaker 1: delve back. I can't even be in the room with it.
Speaker 1: It was stressful. It stresses me because.
Speaker 2: Your couches were so big so they couldn't even get them,
Speaker 2: and they're like, how we're going to get this in?
Speaker 2: I know, I can't believe. And they were hand to
Speaker 2: move one couch. They they had to get the other
Speaker 2: couch totally out.
Speaker 1: I really did plan that so I wouldn't be here.
Speaker 2: You you were I paid you to do it. You
Speaker 2: were smart, and then we got it over to uh.
Speaker 1: I paid your you to just witness it because I
Speaker 1: know that it's stressful. I can't does anyone else feel
Speaker 1: that way when you guys move and stuff, are you like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I can't believe men are gonna have
Speaker 1: to come in here and like sweat and break their
Speaker 1: backs like it's it's I don't like fun.
Speaker 5: There is a term called lickophobia, which is apparently people
Speaker 5: who are afraid of couches.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's what we.
Speaker 1: Were all like. I don't I'm not afraid of couches.
Speaker 1: I'm just afraid of the stress of moving things and
Speaker 1: putting things in boxes.
Speaker 3: Phobia against moving couches, Like.
Speaker 1: Like Chris will be like, oh this, we should get
Speaker 1: this thing, and I'm like, but it needs to be
Speaker 1: installed and there needs to be drilling, and you will
Speaker 1: have to like move the table out again from the wall.
Speaker 1: I can't, Like, I'm not even kidding you, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna have to I want to move away for the
Speaker 1: first two months while Chris has everything loaded in because
Speaker 1: I can't. Yeah, I don't know what that is.
Speaker 2: I don't either. I mean, is it from your childhood,
Speaker 2: from us moving furniture.
Speaker 1: Possibly. I just get like your change. It's a fear
Speaker 1: of like things aren't gonna fit and then they're just
Speaker 1: gonna leave them there and then I'm gonna just be
Speaker 1: stuck with like this bed frame in my doorway or
Speaker 1: something like. I'm just scared because if I were remover,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, fuck you, lady, I'm not doing this,
Speaker 1: like it's not gonna fit by I'll just get a
Speaker 1: job elsewhere. This job pays crap anyway, I'll go work
Speaker 1: at McDonald's and then I would just leave the bedframe
Speaker 1: in the doorway and then I will have to step
Speaker 1: over it for the rest of my life.
Speaker 2: You know, move out, you're empathetic to people, That's what
Speaker 2: it is.
Speaker 1: You just feel bad. You're like I do. I feel
Speaker 1: so bad for movers.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I would honestly love that mover if he's
Speaker 4: just like, you know what, fuck you lady, fuck you
Speaker 4: come out.
Speaker 1: That's what I feeling they all should do. Like the
Speaker 1: fact that there are people bossing around movers is so
Speaker 1: wild to me, and like yelling at them and being like,
Speaker 1: don't do break that, like, don't stuff that. Fuck you lady.
Speaker 4: I feel like it should be a federal law that
Speaker 4: every laborer should get like three fuck you ladies a year.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, you know what, fuck you lady.
Speaker 3: I'm out, and then they don't have to do the
Speaker 3: job and.
Speaker 1: Pay them for Let's just give them more.
Speaker 3: Fuck you ladies, no recourse.
Speaker 1: Wait, you get Okay, it's it's a moving company and
Speaker 1: they are twenty percent less than every other moving company.
Speaker 1: But each man in the moving company has a right
Speaker 1: to say fuck you lady. I think that would be
Speaker 1: so fun.
Speaker 3: Careful with the fabric on that you lady, there.
Speaker 1: You go, Okay, there's one can you please put the
Speaker 1: can you please take off your shoes?
Speaker 3: It's like, lady, every single time.
Speaker 1: All right, we gotta go to break. We'll come back
Speaker 1: with more after this. So my mom is fresh from
Speaker 1: a camping trip.
Speaker 4: Yes, camping cane, Oh my god, that sounds amazing.
Speaker 2: Three days, three days on the Mississippi.
Speaker 5: Yes.
Speaker 4: So yeah, So you soared your camping gear in the
Speaker 4: canoe and you would camp along the river.
Speaker 2: Yes, we had we had sherpa's kind of but but
Speaker 2: they didn't set up her tents and everything. But we
Speaker 2: had a gourmet chef on the trip, and I think
Speaker 2: there were ten.
Speaker 1: Of the James Beard winning chef here. We're not.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's he's an amazing chef. And his wife joined
Speaker 2: us halfway through.
Speaker 1: But she came out of the woods.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Actually she came with your brother, your brother in law. Oh, okay, Matt,
Speaker 2: Matt who Matt who heads.
Speaker 1: Up Matt has the company, my sister's husband.
Speaker 3: Yes, So.
Speaker 1: What is it called Muddy, Big Muddy and money? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Is all in Missouri.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're all the Mississippi going down Missouri towards Arkansas
Speaker 4: or something going south.
Speaker 1: Yeah, going towards Arkansas. My dad's cousin flew in from
Speaker 1: San Francisco with his wife. Wife, and my dad's cousin
Speaker 1: is a big wave surfer. Right. Doctor, he's a cancer
Speaker 1: doctor who like wrote a book that changed cancer how
Speaker 1: patients are treated with cancer. It's called under Understanding Cancer.
Speaker 1: And he uh, he's also a big wave surfer. Like
Speaker 1: has been featured on sixty Minutes in the New York
Speaker 1: New York New Yorker magazine. There was like a forty
Speaker 1: page article written about him in the nineties. His name's
Speaker 1: Mark Rennicker. Is my dad's cousin. But he wanted to
Speaker 1: go down the Mississippi, so he flew out here. Well
Speaker 1: they made the friends with Chris Isaac. Oh that's true. Yeah,
Speaker 1: these are the three. And she's an amazing artist, right.
Speaker 2: She comes from father was a humorist. He was a
Speaker 2: humorous Her grandfather was a humorist. Her father was a
Speaker 2: screenplay writer.
Speaker 1: What did he write? That's okay, Ben her?
Speaker 2: Yeah, how green is my valley?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I mean she's cool people. And her grandmother, well, this
Speaker 2: was another thing she said on the trip. She goes,
Speaker 2: we were talking about women in gold medal. She goes,
Speaker 2: my grandmother was the first woman to win a gold
Speaker 2: medal in the Olympics. She wanted in nineteen hundred in
Speaker 2: Parish and she got.
Speaker 1: A gold medal.
Speaker 2: And she you know, oh, yeah, god, I mean these
Speaker 2: are people that have really interesting stories. But anyway, I
Speaker 2: was not all gung ho for this.
Speaker 1: You weren't.
Speaker 2: And we were in San France meeting with him and
Speaker 2: he's like, your dad was tell him about this is
Speaker 2: what this trip is and he goes, I want to
Speaker 2: do that, and when he says he wants to do something,
Speaker 2: he does it. So it was like, Okay, Mark's coming
Speaker 2: in for and he and EJ I'll go on this trip.
Speaker 2: Next thing, you know, his wife is coming, and so
Speaker 2: it was like, shit, Jessica's coming.
Speaker 1: Just push back on this. Just because a wife comes
Speaker 1: doesn't mean you have to go. Kind of no, it doesn't.
Speaker 1: This is what I think. I know you don't understand it,
Speaker 1: but I do understand it. I know you don't that
Speaker 1: you don't have a backbone when it comes to dealing
Speaker 1: with Dad and telling him you don't like to do
Speaker 1: things well and because you go I gotta go, Nick,
Speaker 1: And I go, no, you don't. What if you didn't,
Speaker 1: is he going to leave you for? He'll be pissed?
Speaker 1: Oak Tree like like mad.
Speaker 2: Now I have an attitude during the whole day. It
Speaker 2: was like I honestly, I.
Speaker 1: Just but I said, if you go, you're not allowed
Speaker 1: to paddle. I was like I told my parents. I
Speaker 1: told my dad, you are bringing an injured, broken woman
Speaker 1: on the river because of because she's going because of guilt,
Speaker 1: because she's going to be she's scared. You'll be mad
Speaker 1: at her, So she's going only because of that? Would
Speaker 1: you first of all, why would you want someone to
Speaker 1: go with you if they're only going so you wouldn't
Speaker 1: be mad at them? Can we all stop doing that? Well?
Speaker 2: Like, do you want some things you just do because
Speaker 2: you're married and you please?
Speaker 1: That's why I'm not going to get married. I don't
Speaker 1: think that. That's Chris would never make me do something
Speaker 1: I actively don't want to do unless it really meant
Speaker 1: something to him and like.
Speaker 3: It really wasn't what it is.
Speaker 4: Sometimes you don't want to do it, but then you
Speaker 4: do want to do it because it's.
Speaker 1: Because it makes him happy. Okay, well then okay, here's
Speaker 1: the only thing. Then if my mom's doing it just
Speaker 1: to make him happy, I need him to acknowledge it
Speaker 1: and say thank you. I know you don't want to
Speaker 1: do it, be nice, because this is what my dad says.
Speaker 1: I go, Dad? You know mom doesn't want to go? Yes,
Speaker 1: she does. Stop saying that she does want to go?
Speaker 1: I go, Mom? Do you want to go? No? I
Speaker 1: don't dad. Did you just hear Mom say I don't
Speaker 1: want to go? She wants to go? Mom? Do you
Speaker 1: want to go? Literally, this is a conversation last night?
Speaker 1: Did you want to go? I didn't want to go?
Speaker 3: Nick?
Speaker 1: Dad? Did you hear mom say she didn't want to go?
Speaker 1: She wanted to go? It's like, I don't understand what
Speaker 1: this kind of communication.
Speaker 2: I just know it's important that I should go because
Speaker 2: it makes him happy, and I mean I needed to go.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, I guess it's like about the end, do
Speaker 1: you regret going? Yes?
Speaker 3: God, she does?
Speaker 2: Okay, So I mean I don't regret it, regret it,
Speaker 2: but I will tell you the first Yeah, because it's over,
Speaker 2: thank you.
Speaker 1: But would you do it again? No? Not interesting. If
Speaker 1: you could go back in time and say, Julie, should
Speaker 1: you go on the trip? Would you say go on it?
Speaker 1: I would say, Jessica is gonna go too? Okay, Oh
Speaker 1: so you'd guilt your past self into going maybe, but
Speaker 1: probably not. I mean, I honestly, when does a woman
Speaker 1: just do what she wants and not like you were
Speaker 1: of a generation of just like we do things because
Speaker 1: other people want us to because I feel bad, and
Speaker 1: like we all do this early on our lives. When
Speaker 1: are you gonna doesn't Jane fond Of said, like she
Speaker 1: says that at some point in your life. You get
Speaker 1: old enough where you stop giving a fuck what people
Speaker 1: think and doing.
Speaker 2: That I love people well, and is that gonna hit you? Well,
Speaker 2: let me just say Jessica was in the same boat.
Speaker 3: She goes Mark literally.
Speaker 1: So this is what you do. Anyway, Let's hang out
Speaker 1: all weekend and you let's send these goofs off.
Speaker 2: I didn't even know if I wanted to do that.
Speaker 2: I was like, you know, okay, you know I'm going.
Speaker 2: So you were being nice, Okay, So anyway, it was fine,
Speaker 2: everything was great. We got there, but Friday night it
Speaker 2: poured down. They said forty percent answering, well, and we
Speaker 2: are already there and there were lightning bolts popping all
Speaker 2: around me. I was like, I'm getting in the tent
Speaker 2: and I'm gonna honker down. And I was scared to death,
Speaker 2: I have to admit. And it was something about having
Speaker 2: no control. I mean, it's like, I put myself in
Speaker 2: this situation where I have no control.
Speaker 1: Dad put you in that situation, well, and they did
Speaker 1: by not standing up to it and saying I just
Speaker 1: don't want to go and having that be a good answer,
Speaker 1: and you wonder why I go? Why can't I be
Speaker 1: the way other people are because I come from a
Speaker 1: family that goes. You do want to go camping? Yes,
Speaker 1: you do, and I don't. Final fat well, final thought.
Speaker 1: This is reminiscent of a camping trip we went on.
Speaker 1: We were on so many camping trips as a kid,
Speaker 1: and there were so many downpours and so many lightning storms,
Speaker 1: and it was, oh, yeah, I remember one where you
Speaker 1: were hunkered down in the tent, going I don't like this, EJ.
Speaker 1: And I was trying to be like a cool daddy's girl,
Speaker 1: to quote a word I would never have called myself
Speaker 1: back then, but I was trying to like my mom
Speaker 1: was the pussy in the tent. My dad's making fun
Speaker 1: of her for being a pussy. So I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: not a pussy. I'm going to watch the lightning with
Speaker 1: my dad. The lightning is striking all around us. I
Speaker 1: think I kind of remember this. Do you remember that?
Speaker 3: Yes, that's yes.
Speaker 1: And I was terrified, but I was trying to stay
Speaker 1: cool for dad. And then let's not even get into
Speaker 1: when you and Lauren almost drowned on the river. You
Speaker 1: wonder why I don't like going out on excursions. Their
Speaker 1: boat flipped and.
Speaker 2: I was at the helm, which I shouldn't have been.
Speaker 1: No, but you liked it. You wanted to be at
Speaker 1: the hell I did not do. You liked it. You
Speaker 1: wanted to be there. Yeah. And then it flipped and
Speaker 1: and Mom and Lauren Laura almost drowned. Lauren almost drowned.
Speaker 2: I mean was she went under a tree that was
Speaker 2: across the river and then I saw her going in
Speaker 2: and I just dove in after her.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: And I mean I could have died myself. Yes, but
Speaker 2: we both popped up underneath that thing. But I know
Speaker 2: about root wad and I know people get trapped under this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the dreaded Dad has told us about it many times.
Speaker 1: It was really scary. I was, but I for some reason.
Speaker 2: We had to take two canoes and he's like, you
Speaker 2: can do this, and I'm like, okay, I'm not a canoer.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: I've never steered. I've never pa ever ever even paddled.
Speaker 2: I've always been the queen in the front, never paddled.
Speaker 1: I have no So in the end though, this trip.
Speaker 2: In the end it was, I mean, it was, it
Speaker 2: was fun.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine any of it.
Speaker 3: It was.
Speaker 1: Okay, what was your favorite part? The food?
Speaker 2: I guess yeah, because I will be honest. I said,
Speaker 2: the chef I'm eating when he's cooking whatever he's cooking,
Speaker 2: and I ate.
Speaker 1: Oh and you had to eat some red meat again. Sausage.
Speaker 1: My mom gave up bread, meat and chicken in January, yes,
Speaker 1: on my birthday, on her birthday in January twenty second,
Speaker 1: and so she has it. She's only eaten seafood since then.
Speaker 1: And she had a little sausage. It's a sasage. Deer meat.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, my mom's been obsessed with deer meat. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm going to bag a deer because she
Speaker 1: thinks that if she if it's wild game, than she
Speaker 1: is allowed to eat it because it's really about factory farm. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's my whole thing. Yes, so I'm allowed to respect that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have respect it too, Okay, But I just
Speaker 2: guess what it is.
Speaker 1: What it's called.
Speaker 2: Somebody eats game meat, so anything game vegan?
Speaker 1: Why?
Speaker 2: I don't know, But you know, Julie Wagan, my.
Speaker 1: Mom's friend is named Julie Wigan. It's going to be
Speaker 1: another Julie Weegand I just don't think you just eat
Speaker 1: just eat cows. I don't want you to eat a
Speaker 1: lesser meat that you don't like because deer meat is delicious.
Speaker 1: It is. Yeah, it can be.
Speaker 3: Like gaming and difficult to chew.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I can eat it.
Speaker 5: Okay, And I have been watching alone.
Speaker 1: They can't know that. You and Ann you'll watch that show.
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, And they're down to like the last four
Speaker 5: guys living in austere conditions and one of the guys
Speaker 5: is eating mice.
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking, like, what would I.
Speaker 5: Like force myself to eat if I'm stuck somewhere for
Speaker 5: thirty days And I don't even think I could do that.
Speaker 1: I think you would. I think when you're starving, you'll
Speaker 1: eat fucking anything. Yeah, nice would be a hard one. Well,
Speaker 1: if you don't what, you're not preparing it. If somebody
Speaker 1: else prepared it, I could eat it. Oh if I
Speaker 1: don't have to look at it was Well, that's how
Speaker 1: everyone gets by, because if anyone had to actually animals
Speaker 1: that they wouldn't eat any answer. Yeah, but I do
Speaker 1: want to cite a moment. It was like a couple
Speaker 1: of weeks ago. It was before we left for the Emmys,
Speaker 1: and you said you would manifested deer meat or something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what happened. Well, I was.
Speaker 2: We were down at the river and I was like,
Speaker 2: craving deer meat. I was like, I have to eat
Speaker 2: some kind of meat. Well, I was craving meat.
Speaker 1: I was like, are you not getting enough protein? That's
Speaker 1: probably right?
Speaker 2: Maybe yeah, why don't you get some more protein? Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm going to with some deer. Anyway, we let we
Speaker 2: went for a walk.
Speaker 1: I said.
Speaker 2: He's like, how are you gonna get deer meat? And
Speaker 2: I'm like, because they don't, you can't buy it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So we're walking up the street talking to our other
Speaker 2: neighbors and here comes our neighbor driving down heading out,
Speaker 2: and he said, does anybody want a piece of deer meat?
Speaker 3: Wow?
Speaker 2: And I said what? And he said, I just cooked
Speaker 2: it on the girl. I had to cook it. And
Speaker 2: he had big chunks of tenderloin and he said, I
Speaker 2: marinated it. I'm just looking at your dad like you
Speaker 2: gotta be kidding me, like you had just been talking
Speaker 2: about it. I you couldn't ask for a better piece
Speaker 2: of meat. Tenderloin. They're called the backstraps.
Speaker 1: Okay, So did you say, oh my god, I was just.
Speaker 2: Said, you will not believe this. He said, well, here
Speaker 2: I am here you go.
Speaker 1: He didn't say he didn't really, I don't think. And
Speaker 1: then my mom told us the story when we were
Speaker 1: at Posto House for my dad's show, right before we
Speaker 1: left for the ummies, and she was like, I can
Speaker 1: manifest now, I'm manifested this deer meat. I can do it.
Speaker 1: I'm doing your emmy. You're gonna win an emmy. I
Speaker 1: didn't do it right. That was the first thing that
Speaker 1: your mom failed us. Yafter, I didn't do it right.
Speaker 1: I didn't manifest right. But they were serving deer meat
Speaker 1: at the after party.
Speaker 2: They did know. They served it on this strip. What
Speaker 2: do you mean deer meat on the strip that we
Speaker 2: just went on?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, how was it? What does it taste like?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 2: He had scrapple or it's called deer scrap we had
Speaker 2: for breakfast.
Speaker 1: I love that you just need the red meat, You're
Speaker 1: like Joe Rogan, I really need.
Speaker 5: I had a friend who was a nurse, and she
Speaker 5: told me, anytime your body is craving like a certain food,
Speaker 5: satisfy that craving because it means that you are deficient
Speaker 5: and inviting them that that thing has Yes.
Speaker 1: No, I I love when I'm craving something like I've
Speaker 1: been eating sushi for every fucking meal for weeks now.
Speaker 1: That's probably not good. And I think it's just because I, Oh,
Speaker 1: it's okay, because it's vegan. Yeah, it's the seaweed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm learning from a Yeah, seaweed. There's something of
Speaker 1: I a dine or something or maybe iron. I don't
Speaker 1: know a lot of you know, it's a lot. Oh god,
Speaker 1: I love it so much. It's all I want to
Speaker 1: eat for. I literally eat it for lunch and dinner
Speaker 1: for the past three or four weeks, maybe a month,
Speaker 1: maybe longer. I just I'm on My mouth is watering
Speaker 1: right now even thinking about it. I can't stop. It's
Speaker 1: so good. I will wait you did you've got some?
Speaker 1: We got some last night? Do you see some leftover?
Speaker 1: Have you yet? No? I haven't eaten it.
Speaker 3: Right now?
Speaker 1: Breakfast filled already? All right? You got to go to
Speaker 1: the doctor. Yeah, all right, now, thank you for stopping by. Okay,
Speaker 1: physical therapy, all right? Nice? But thanks to all the
Speaker 1: best he's for sending suggestions for my I love them they.
Speaker 1: I don't think a bestie sent that one, but I
Speaker 1: sent you one that's been working. Next stretch. Yep, I've
Speaker 1: never felt better about myself in my life. Were totally
Speaker 1: a video.
Speaker 2: Worked other people and they're like, it works.
Speaker 3: Really, yeah, how do you do it?
Speaker 2: Okay? It is a next stretch where you look all
Speaker 2: the way as far as you can to the right,
Speaker 2: and then you come and you just you picture what
Speaker 2: you the farthest you could see, like that lamp. And
Speaker 2: then you take your arms and you put the top
Speaker 2: arm of the right arm, right arm on top like
Speaker 2: a genie, like you're doing like a dream a genie.
Speaker 1: You go like this five times. You go to the
Speaker 1: other side of the last stretch it and then the
Speaker 1: right to the side.
Speaker 2: You don't do the right, just as center. Back to
Speaker 2: the left center five times, and and look again to
Speaker 2: your right after you're done, and you'll be able to
Speaker 2: see a little bit farther. It really works.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm going to do it right now home.
Speaker 2: You got to do it when you're whoa, I'm not
Speaker 2: kidding out.
Speaker 1: I went another inch. Yeah, I'm like an inch. Wow,
Speaker 1: it's impressive. Okay, that's cool. All right, Well, maybe send
Speaker 1: it back to me and maybe we can post it. Okay,
Speaker 1: if I remember, all right, this perfume isn't good. No,
Speaker 1: it's not good. I feel sick.
Speaker 2: It's got a weird I really feel sick. Yeah, yeah, strange.
Speaker 1: So if anyone wants some perfume, stop by. I'll tell
Speaker 1: you sell it on eBay. All right, thank you guys
Speaker 1: for listening. We'll be here tomorrow on the podcast don't
Speaker 1: be bye bye. The Nicki Glazer Podcast is a production
Speaker 1: by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts. Created
Speaker 1: and hosted by me Nicki Glazer, co hosted by Brian Frangie,
Speaker 1: Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Noah Avior
Speaker 1: edited it engineered by Lean and Loaf, video production Mark Canton,
Speaker 1: and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full
Speaker 1: episodes of the Nicki Glazer Podcast on YouTube, follow at
Speaker 1: Nikki Glazer Pod and subscribe to our channel