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Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rep An iHeartRadio podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing.

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Speaker 3: In, scrubbing in, like we're scrubing in.

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Speaker 2: Oh, Tanya is has just referred to herself as a

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Speaker 2: sinking ship.

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Speaker 3: I feel as though I'm a sinking ship over here.

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Speaker 2: So we got into this like right before we started

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Speaker 2: the podcast. But you're you had caffeine.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm weaning off of it. So I'm just putting

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Speaker 3: less and less in my morning espresso. So like I

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Speaker 3: always make an espresso at home, I put my almond

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Speaker 3: milk in it, and I come to work. I usually

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Speaker 3: bring two of them with me. I'll make two because

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Speaker 3: I have small little cups. Is going on the.

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Speaker 2: Harkst popular He's gonna spun on.

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Speaker 3: Well, so I bring two in and now I've gone down.

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Speaker 3: I went down to one, and then today I put

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Speaker 3: in half the espresso. So I'm still having the caffeine,

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Speaker 3: but I'm having crazy headaches.

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Speaker 2: Well, how many days did you do just one?

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Speaker 3: One?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's not how you wean off of something.

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Speaker 3: I don't know how. I've never weaned before.

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Speaker 2: Terrible. Yeah, you're supposed to wean like like you could

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Speaker 2: have done like one for like a few days, right,

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Speaker 2: and then done half. Yeah, it's not like your body

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Speaker 2: just adjusts after one day.

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Speaker 3: So my body's not adjusting. I have like gnarly headaches,

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Speaker 3: and I'm going to switch. What I realized is I'm

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Speaker 3: going to become a Macha person. Okay, So yesterday Robin

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Speaker 3: and I did some research on like, you know, a

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Speaker 3: little whisk togett, like whisk it and put hot water

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Speaker 3: and it. Yeah, but none of the supplies have arrived yet.

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Speaker 3: We ordered them on Amazon, So I'm gonna wean for

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Speaker 3: another like day or two.

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Speaker 5: Okay, great, But isn't this a sign that maybe you

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Speaker 5: shouldn't have any caffeine in your life if you're that

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Speaker 5: addicted to it, having.

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Speaker 3: The alarming But you know what's interesting, I'm surprised nobody

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Speaker 3: asked where this came from.

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Speaker 2: Well, we know where it came from.

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Speaker 3: No, I don't think you know.

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Speaker 5: Where did it come from?

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Speaker 3: So I met this gal who was like the epitome

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Speaker 3: of what I look like, what health is like. She

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Speaker 3: was talking to me like she just had this energy.

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Speaker 3: You know that energy and you meet somebody you're like, wow,

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Speaker 3: you have good energy. She had that energy, and I

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Speaker 3: started asking her. She was teaching this workout class that

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Speaker 3: I was in, and I started asking her about her life,

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Speaker 3: and I was just like, where is this energy coming from?

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Speaker 3: Like how are you so aligned? She was talking about

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Speaker 3: all the things that she does not consume, which is alcohol, caffeine,

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Speaker 3: She goes to bed at eight thirty, She drinks a

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Speaker 3: lot of water. I mean, she teaches probably like a

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Speaker 3: lot of hot pilates classes. But it's all all in

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Speaker 3: her diet. Doesn't smoke, doesn't do drugs, like, none of

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Speaker 3: that stuff like very very It's all standard things that

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Speaker 3: you would expect, you know. But then hearing it and

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Speaker 3: just seeing her glow, I was like, I want that glow.

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Speaker 3: And I've been doing all this stuff of getting rid

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Speaker 3: of all the toxins and trying to really you know,

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Speaker 3: be anti inflammatory for my health. And I'm like, why

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Speaker 3: don't I just take the leap and just like really

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Speaker 3: go for it this year which includes songs.

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Speaker 2: Coffee, and alcohol.

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Speaker 3: Well, so, uh, I think cutting alcohol might make me

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Speaker 3: sad a little bit, So I'm trying to slow.

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Speaker 2: Is interesting, This is an interesting take on this whole thing.

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Speaker 3: I'm trying to slow off.

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Speaker 5: You're just going to kick and shoes, Like, if you

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Speaker 5: want to be this woman, then she's giving you the

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Speaker 5: exact path.

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Speaker 2: I think I don't want to.

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Speaker 3: Be anybody but myself.

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Speaker 2: Alcohol is a depressant, and I think caffeine would be

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Speaker 2: I think alcohol. If you were like wanting to glow,

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Speaker 2: I think alcohol would be the first thing, and then

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Speaker 2: maybe the caffeine.

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Speaker 3: But sometimes alcohol makes me glow more.

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Speaker 2: I glow when I am drownk.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I am basically illuminating when I'm drying drunk.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 6: Same.

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Speaker 2: But that's interesting. So alcohol will eventually happen.

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Speaker 3: It's tapering off, it's slowing down.

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Speaker 2: Like does Robby want to give up any of this?

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Speaker 3: It's so interesting you bring that up because I was

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Speaker 3: scared he was going to be upset about the coffee,

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Speaker 3: but he was so game, and he was like, I'm

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Speaker 3: down to become a Macha man and like down to

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Speaker 3: do with me. And then this morning, well this morning

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Speaker 3: he sent me some articles that explain that cutting out

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Speaker 3: coffee is not really beneficial in the anti inflammatory world.

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Speaker 3: But I don't know what that means yet.

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Speaker 5: Look, I think the key is Gotti pilates, because I

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Speaker 5: don't do any of the things you listed, and I

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Speaker 5: never have my whole life and I don't have the glow.

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Speaker 3: It's interesting, Yeah, you don't have the same glow as

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Speaker 3: this girl.

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Speaker 5: I don't.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, interesting point, Mark.

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Speaker 5: But also I would also argue that you don't need

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Speaker 5: any of those things. You don't need alcohol, you don't

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Speaker 5: need caffeine, you don't need any of them.

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Speaker 3: So here's the thing in life you don't really need,

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Speaker 3: Like you don't need a home, but we have them.

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Speaker 2: We do.

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Speaker 5: Hak Food and shelter are needs. In fact, that's the

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Speaker 5: definition of basic needs.

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Speaker 3: Up there too. Food. I don't need this sweater, I

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Speaker 3: don't need this hair tie, but I enjoy them in

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Speaker 3: my life, right, But if.

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Speaker 5: You're addicted to them, maybe that's something you would not want.

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Speaker 3: It feels like a deeper because therapist, Perhaps I need

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Speaker 3: to seek the professional help on this one.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Well okay, so we're here, so we're weaning.

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Speaker 2: We're weeding quick, We're weaning fast, like this is a

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Speaker 2: fast wean.

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Speaker 3: You've never weaned like this before.

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Speaker 2: Let me tell you, you know, speaking of glow, you

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Speaker 2: know who has a glow but a different type, like

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Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know the girl that you're

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Speaker 2: talking about. So I don't know the glow that you

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Speaker 2: speak of.

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Speaker 3: I will show you her, but it's got to see

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Speaker 3: her in person. I'll bring you to a class.

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Speaker 2: Okay, great, can't wait. Jess Clark has a glow.

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Speaker 3: She does have a glove.

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Speaker 2: And she was at Dean and Kaylan's UH Jess Clark Higgins.

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Speaker 3: Jess Clark Higgins.

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Speaker 5: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she deserves that respect.

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Speaker 2: She was at Dean and Kaylan's UH engagement party, which

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Speaker 2: was so fun. I loved. I had such a great time.

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Speaker 2: I did too, and I didn't know Justice is gonna

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Speaker 2: be there. And I was talking to her and I

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Speaker 2: was like, you know, some people just have that that spark,

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Speaker 2: that glow in their eyes, and she has it.

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Speaker 3: She has it. Yeah, I agree, she's special. She is special.

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Speaker 2: Ben wasn't there. She just came by herself, I know,

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Speaker 2: which I love. Just like I went for the day.

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Speaker 2: She came up for the day and it was pouring rain,

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Speaker 2: and she was like, I would do the same thing

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Speaker 2: for you guys. I was like, noted, where do I

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Speaker 2: send it? But yeah, Dean and Kaylen had their engagement

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Speaker 2: party on Saturday. It was pouring rain, but it was

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Speaker 2: so the rain made it like romantic and magical and cozy,

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Speaker 2: and it was just like such a beautiful venue. It

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Speaker 2: was so nice.

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Speaker 3: It was really really fun. I feel like a lot

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Speaker 3: of the time in people that live in La don't

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Speaker 3: like to do things when it rains, and so it

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Speaker 3: was kind of like I felt sad for them because

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Speaker 3: it's like you think of rain, you just think of

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Speaker 3: blah blah. Yeah, yeah, but it really wasn't It was

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Speaker 3: such a fun, beautiful party.

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Speaker 2: My mother and father came and picked me up Ya Tanya.

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Speaker 3: And Robbie, thy mother and thy father and.

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Speaker 2: Didn't make me drive because Haley has been in her

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Speaker 2: riding camp so she wasn't there. So I was like,

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Speaker 2: they were coming to get me, and she goes, we're

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Speaker 2: gonna be a little bit later than I thought, so

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Speaker 2: you can go by yourself if you want, And I

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Speaker 2: was like, no, I don't want to walk in alone.

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Speaker 2: I hate go I hate I realized I hate walking

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Speaker 2: in alone.

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Speaker 3: The best part is though, I was like, I was

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Speaker 3: panicking because we were going to be about an hour

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Speaker 3: late and I don't like being late. Actually, really funny,

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Speaker 3: you ask, but.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't just a preface this It wasn't a like

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Speaker 2: sit down dinner or something. It was like a come

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Speaker 2: in go.

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Speaker 3: Party starts at three. We were't gonna get their closer

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Speaker 3: to four because we had Spectrum Man coming to the

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Speaker 3: house because we were so we were sa on internet

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Speaker 3: for four days. So if you want to ask what

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Speaker 3: I did for those days, I cleared out a lot

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Speaker 3: of photos out of my photo streams.

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Speaker 2: This is important.

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Speaker 6: Thank you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I felt like.

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Speaker 3: I made use of my time, did some br cleaned.

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Speaker 5: Out some things virtual reality those.

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Speaker 3: Goggles the kids haven't, so you know, it was time

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Speaker 3: well spent. But anyways, he was there fixing the internet,

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Speaker 3: and so we needed to answer some questions a lot.

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Speaker 3: So we just had a later bit of a start.

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Speaker 3: So I text Becca thinking she's going to be like, ill,

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Speaker 3: just uber, I'm close, you know.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to be literally right down the street.

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Speaker 3: Could not have been chiller. She's like, I have zero

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Speaker 3: stress about getting there late. You guys come pick me

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Speaker 3: up at your leisure.

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Speaker 5: I was like, okay, it's interesting that you won't walk

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Speaker 5: in loon. Meanwhile, Jess flew across the country to arrivalone and.

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Speaker 2: Even when she saw she was like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: I'm so happy all are here, because I didn't know

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Speaker 2: if I was going to know, like, no, no anyone

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Speaker 2: here other than obviously it's that glow. And I was

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Speaker 2: sinking to myself, could I ever do that?

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Speaker 3: It's the glow makes you glow, it makes you go

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Speaker 3: and maybe that's your low going.

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Speaker 2: Oh because I'm not glowing wow wow. Anyways, I realized, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I don't so any social event. I'm always like when

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Speaker 2: I'm when Ali or Tory sends me an invite to

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Speaker 2: something like do you want to go to this? I

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Speaker 2: always am like, do I get a plus one? Because

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Speaker 2: it's going alone. I'd rather just not go.

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Speaker 3: You know what's funny is those like industry events or whatever,

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Speaker 3: I never get a plus one. I always go to

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Speaker 3: them alone and I never know who's going to be

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Speaker 3: at them. I just show up and I'm like.

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Speaker 2: You go, I go, you go.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, I did go up to Natasha Berat is

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Speaker 3: it Beret?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I thought she was Chef Bay and I was like,

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Speaker 3: are you I follow you on Instagram? She's like no,

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Speaker 3: but I've heard that and I was like, oh, you

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Speaker 3: look very familiar.

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Speaker 2: Though she speaking of I saw her. She was like

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Speaker 2: doing to get ready with me on TikTok and she

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Speaker 2: was going to Nick and Natalie's engagement party.

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Speaker 3: Oh, she's friends with them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she's really good friends with them.

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Speaker 3: You her face, I knew her face, but then I

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Speaker 3: remembered it was like the hair. Her hair was your inspo.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, yeah, yeah, and it's probably so cute. And

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Speaker 2: you know, I later found out that she has a

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Speaker 2: very different hair type than me. So if you're gonna

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Speaker 2: cut your hair like someone, make sure you at least

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Speaker 2: have a similar texture and hair type because that can

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Speaker 2: make all the difference.

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Speaker 3: It's a great tip for a listeners.

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Speaker 2: Just here to give insight where I can't lave y'all

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Speaker 2: with no regrets like I have.

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Speaker 3: Was there anybody at the party that you hadn't seen

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Speaker 3: in a while that you were like really excited about

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Speaker 3: Dean and Kaln's Yeah, besides Jess.

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Speaker 2: Well I hadn't seen was like, n No, I hadn't

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Speaker 2: seen Sarah and Wells since their wedding and stuff, and

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Speaker 2: I always love seeing them. I love talking to Sarah, like,

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Speaker 2: I find her so interesting and she's so like kind

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Speaker 2: and funny.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, am I missing someone? No?

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 3: Oh, I thought you just questioned, just curious, George over here.

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Speaker 2: Was there anyone that you had missed?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I hadn't seen Wells in a really long time,

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Speaker 3: and I enjoy walls a lot.

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Speaker 2: The same I to enjoy Wells. Remember when you went

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Speaker 2: through your Dean phase. Yes, that was an intense wow.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so funny because I forgot about the Dean phase.

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Speaker 3: And I had two of my girlfriends over, Pauline and

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Speaker 3: Sophia over on Friday night. They're having dinner over at

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Speaker 3: the house, and I told him that tomorrow was the

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Speaker 3: you know, the next day was Dean and Klein's engagement party.

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Speaker 3: And she was like why, she goes, yeah, I saw

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Speaker 3: the engagement. She was I don't know why I follow

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Speaker 3: him on Instagram and I was like and then Paulina

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Speaker 3: was like, yeah, because T had like a crush on him,

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Speaker 3: and I think you probably you guys probably met somewhere.

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Speaker 3: And I was like, oh my gosh, how funny she's

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Speaker 3: been following Dean all these years because I like had

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Speaker 3: a crush on him for like two weeks.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and went, yeah, you saw together right, Yer.

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Speaker 2: Crushed too, as a whirlwind because then we went to

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Speaker 2: iHeart Festival and it was Tanya on drug.

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Speaker 5: It was a full.

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Speaker 3: Spot so bad.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Tanya was I don't know that I've ever seen

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Speaker 2: you like that since before or since correct, It.

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Speaker 3: Was a because you know what was interesting. It was like,

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Speaker 3: I will never date Dean. I don't want to date Dean.

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Speaker 3: We're so not compatible. And then Deane's like, well, give

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Speaker 3: me a chance, let's go out. So I went out

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Speaker 3: with him, and I was like, wait, I could date Dean.

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Speaker 2: I do think he's nice.

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Speaker 3: So I was like this roller coaster of emotions and

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Speaker 3: then when he didn't want me back, I was like, well,

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Speaker 3: what the hell? Why did we do this whole song

285
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Speaker 3: and dance? Like what is going on? I will say

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Speaker 3: in hindsight, Dean's rejection was God's protection.

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Speaker 2: I love Dean, but let me tell you something.

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Speaker 3: I love Dean.

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Speaker 2: Kaylan is a special, special human.

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Speaker 1: They are so perfect for each other, Like they are

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Speaker 1: really a good team and a good partnership and partner.

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Speaker 1: They are partners and he and I would have been

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Speaker 1: a terrible partnership.

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Speaker 3: And I am happy that it all worked out the

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Speaker 3: way that it did.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, I really went through a I just like

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Speaker 2: since I've known Dean, like meeting him post Bachelor, where

298
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Speaker 2: he was like the way girls reacted to him when

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Speaker 2: he we all went to like an Ed Shearon concert together.

300
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Speaker 2: It was like justin Bieber. There was a crowd of

301
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Speaker 2: girls following trying to get a selfie him, and.

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Speaker 3: I was like, what the he was the moment, but knowing.

303
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Speaker 2: Him from them, and then seeing him and Kaylen jingle

304
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Speaker 2: Ball the way he looks at her like without even

305
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Speaker 2: I don't even know if he realizes. I was just

306
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:23,200
Speaker 2: like I was watching her talk and I looked at

307
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:24,520
Speaker 2: him in the way he was looking at her. I

308
00:13:24,559 --> 00:13:27,280
Speaker 2: was like, who I never would have thought we would

309
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Speaker 2: see Dean this way like this, Yeah.

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Speaker 3: It is really cute. I remember we had some sort

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Speaker 3: of podcast weekend where we all went up to like

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Speaker 3: when you got COVID, Yeah, and so it was just

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Speaker 3: kind of we really bonded. Robbie and I bonded with

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Speaker 3: the two of them. We played fish Bowl and just

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Speaker 3: had like a really fun weekend and like Dean and

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Speaker 3: Robbie really hit it off. And then at your Christmas

317
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Speaker 3: party at the was a Gingerbread house making party, it

318
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Speaker 3: was it came back like their bromance just is like

319
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Speaker 3: so they have this thing. It's I don't know, it's

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Speaker 3: really I love to see it.

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Speaker 2: Probably really connects with other men. I mean he connects

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Speaker 2: with everybody because he's very thoughtful and listens. But like

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Speaker 2: the way he's like very thoughtful, especially when it comes

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Speaker 2: to like finding things in calm with other men.

325
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Speaker 3: I couldn't agree with you more. It's something that detracts

326
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Speaker 3: me to him so much. It's such a random thing.

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Speaker 3: But even like, uh, like the people that work the booth,

328
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Speaker 3: the where you get like if no, the tickets where

329
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Speaker 3: you get like the booths when you go to park

330
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Speaker 3: your car, oh, you take a booth, the ticket booth,

331
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:34,200
Speaker 3: people parking lot attendant. He will make conversation and be

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Speaker 3: like hey manah, like make a joke with them, like

333
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,000
Speaker 3: because there was a guy like hitting the button and

334
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,120
Speaker 3: he was like, nobody can figure out how to punch

335
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:41,880
Speaker 3: this button. You got to sit out here. He's like yeah, man,

336
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,760
Speaker 3: Like they have this full Bromo man while he's driving

337
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,760
Speaker 3: the car, And I'm like, I love that about him

338
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,800
Speaker 3: because he just engages with people. He listens.

339
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,760
Speaker 2: He's very intentional about like connection with people.

340
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, even if it loved that about him. Yeah, and

341
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,360
Speaker 3: like That's why I love because I could literally bring

342
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Speaker 3: him anywhere and he can really hit it off with

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Speaker 3: like anybody.

344
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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a really good quality to have in somebody.

345
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:06,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, like a butterfly a partner, like a social butterfly partner.

346
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Speaker 5: My partner Andy uses soap, so that's another advantage over Dean.

347
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:16,000
Speaker 3: Yes he does use soap. Yes, he is very clean.

348
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Speaker 2: That he's a clean man.

349
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:20,200
Speaker 3: He's a clean man and a handsome man.

350
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:26,560
Speaker 2: Okay, I got invited to this party. It was for

351
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:30,280
Speaker 2: the OBB media. It was like this, I don't know,

352
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,200
Speaker 2: it's like a media company and I didn't know what

353
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:32,560
Speaker 2: it was.

354
00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:33,680
Speaker 3: Okay, when's a party?

355
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,760
Speaker 2: It was? It was the night of Dean and Kalen sing, Oh.

356
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:38,960
Speaker 3: You should have gone, but we could have gone with you.

357
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:42,760
Speaker 2: I was, uh no for an Audrey invited me, so

358
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:47,920
Speaker 2: it was like you were invited. Sorry, But I was like, oh,

359
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:49,960
Speaker 2: you know, it was like rainy and so I have

360
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,240
Speaker 2: Poe home alone. I was like, I'm just gonna stay in.

361
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:58,120
Speaker 2: But it was like Justin Bieber performed, Hailey Bieber was there,

362
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:02,480
Speaker 2: Alex Earl thel Yes, and I'm just.

363
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:03,080
Speaker 5: Talking about her.

364
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:06,960
Speaker 3: I told you everybody's talking about her. Everybody like, I.

365
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,320
Speaker 5: Love doing research on her because you mentioned know, you

366
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:10,920
Speaker 5: want to talk about her later this week on the

367
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,960
Speaker 5: Seacrest Show. So I was doing my research and yeah,

368
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:14,720
Speaker 5: she's getting two million followers in a month.

369
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,400
Speaker 2: It's yeah, insanity. I don't think there's ever been.

370
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:22,240
Speaker 3: What shes doing? What do you mean like she hanging what?

371
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:24,760
Speaker 2: Yeah? Like as a guest, as a preaty observer.

372
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:26,400
Speaker 3: No, but what was she doing? Was she drinking a

373
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:27,240
Speaker 3: bottle of water?

374
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:29,640
Speaker 2: Rose? I didn't go.

375
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:36,080
Speaker 3: Oh, I forgot the couch. I didn't go. All these

376
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:36,760
Speaker 3: people were.

377
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,720
Speaker 2: There, Yeah, so I didn't go. And I'm like seeing

378
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,120
Speaker 2: all these videos and posts on TikTok and Instagram, and

379
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,120
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my gosh, why didn't you go?

380
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:46,040
Speaker 3: You gotta go, you gotta go, and I gotta go.

381
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:46,640
Speaker 6: I know.

382
00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:50,160
Speaker 2: So now I'm gonna say yes to everything.

383
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:51,800
Speaker 3: Oh this bodes well for me?

384
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,360
Speaker 2: What if I said no to you?

385
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,720
Speaker 3: For No, You've been really good in twenty twenty three.

386
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, seventeen days in Yeah, these have been a strong.

387
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,400
Speaker 2: Pretty Yeah, I've been pretty good. Yeah, in seventeen days.

388
00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:09,760
Speaker 2: But yeah, Alex Earl, she is just dominating the social

389
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:10,440
Speaker 2: media world.

390
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,840
Speaker 3: You know what's funny. I was watching her review air

391
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:18,600
Speaker 3: one food and I'm like, I love this, yes, why,

392
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:20,600
Speaker 3: I'm like, I've eaten these foods, I know what they

393
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,160
Speaker 3: taste like, and yet I want yeah, yeah, I don't

394
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:25,760
Speaker 3: need her to tell me that it was kind of

395
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:27,600
Speaker 3: good or like too much greens. I'm like, I like

396
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,520
Speaker 3: the greens. I like the colored greens, and yet I'm

397
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,199
Speaker 3: want to I want to watch more, Like if I

398
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:36,880
Speaker 3: do my gluten free reviews, I don't know if they're

399
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:38,000
Speaker 3: going to be that engaging.

400
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,639
Speaker 2: But what is it that makes her so engaging?

401
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:41,400
Speaker 3: I don't know.

402
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:45,120
Speaker 2: So I went to this event for summer Fridays last week.

403
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:45,800
Speaker 3: Was she there?

404
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:50,000
Speaker 2: She was there, but like there were so many people there,

405
00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:52,040
Speaker 2: and I just it's kind of like how we were

406
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,600
Speaker 2: talking about if you met like someone that you really admired,

407
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:56,600
Speaker 2: going up and saying hi, And I just was like,

408
00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:59,719
Speaker 2: I don't know, I missed my opportunity.

409
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,440
Speaker 3: But I gotta do it. I'll never forget. I saw

410
00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:07,760
Speaker 3: Kelly Kelly Kelly at a Kelly No No, No, Kelly Levec.

411
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:11,119
Speaker 3: She's like a she makes recipes and she's like a

412
00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:13,440
Speaker 3: wellness girl on TikTok or on sorry and Instagram and

413
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:14,680
Speaker 3: I follow her and I love her. And I saw

414
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,359
Speaker 3: her at Jessica Alba event and I was like, oh

415
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:19,520
Speaker 3: my gosh, I folloume so excited, Like I totally geeked out,

416
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,879
Speaker 3: and she was so sweet. Couldn't have been sweeter.

417
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,560
Speaker 2: Was there like a moment where y'all were next to

418
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:25,879
Speaker 2: each other?

419
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:27,399
Speaker 3: You want to right up to her?

420
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:27,680
Speaker 6: Yeah?

421
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:28,879
Speaker 2: I gotta be better about that.

422
00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:34,760
Speaker 3: Yeah. These people know millions of people follow them, so

423
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,560
Speaker 3: they're like, I know. It's like if somebody went up

424
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:38,280
Speaker 3: to you and said.

425
00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:42,239
Speaker 2: Hey, I love meeting people. Yeah, So I don't know

426
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:45,040
Speaker 2: why I fear that.

427
00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:47,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's interesting. Maybe ask her therapist about that.

428
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:51,120
Speaker 2: I should thank you so much. Thank you. You asked

429
00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:53,680
Speaker 2: about the eliminating things in your life, and.

430
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,120
Speaker 3: I'll yeah, yeah, my extremism.

431
00:18:55,440 --> 00:19:03,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely, some underlying thing is a great encompassing term.

432
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:06,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, I really do go to extremes. Because now I'm

433
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,480
Speaker 3: like all about phones out of the bedroom.

434
00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:12,760
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's a good Should we take a

435
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,720
Speaker 2: break and then talk about it. Okay, we'll be right back.

436
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:35,320
Speaker 2: All right, we're back talking more about Tonya's extremisms and

437
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,679
Speaker 2: now what is the new thing? No, funds in the bedroom.

438
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:39,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then I do want to remind you because

439
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,320
Speaker 3: I do want to talk about it because I've been

440
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:45,320
Speaker 3: very like on TikTok lately. I tried one of the

441
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,400
Speaker 3: I tried the Mary Phillips TikTok.

442
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:51,359
Speaker 2: Things interesting, Okay, okay, So let's start with the no

443
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,280
Speaker 2: funds in the bedroom?

444
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 3: No funds in the bedroom? So how did I get here?

445
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:00,480
Speaker 3: How did I get on that?

446
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:00,679
Speaker 2: Oh?

447
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:03,159
Speaker 3: Okay, So it's more Robbie. So when Robbie gets up

448
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,760
Speaker 3: to go to the restroom, he's he is on his phone.

449
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:10,000
Speaker 3: He gets on his phone, and I've started poop. No, no, no,

450
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,640
Speaker 3: he gets up to pee, but he'll just sit there

451
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,359
Speaker 3: and like it's hard for him to fall back asleep,

452
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,359
Speaker 3: so he'll just like scroll blah blah blah. And I

453
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,199
Speaker 3: started doing the same thing. Like if I get up

454
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:20,040
Speaker 3: to the bathroom, I'll I'll get my phone for the light,

455
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,680
Speaker 3: and then I'll sit to pee and I'll just start scrolling.

456
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'll never understand that. That is so bizarre to

457
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:27,720
Speaker 5: me because I know I'd never fall back asleep, so

458
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:30,520
Speaker 5: I would never be even. But what you pick it

459
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:30,840
Speaker 5: up for.

460
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,560
Speaker 3: The light, I pick it up for the light to

461
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:33,800
Speaker 3: watch and get to the.

462
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:35,280
Speaker 5: Bathroom and back without a light.

463
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:38,840
Speaker 3: Cannot Why what have you? Yeah?

464
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,959
Speaker 5: On what? But this is your bedroom and your bathroom.

465
00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:43,240
Speaker 5: Yeah there you know the route by now.

466
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:43,679
Speaker 6: You know.

467
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:48,240
Speaker 3: I don't though, and like Sunny's bones and toys and

468
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:49,320
Speaker 3: like there's just stuff.

469
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:51,240
Speaker 5: So it seems like a night light in your bathroom

470
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 5: would really solve this problem.

471
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:56,679
Speaker 3: I still don't like the phones. I still like the

472
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,439
Speaker 3: idea of the phones not being near our heads in

473
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:05,120
Speaker 3: our space. I like I enjoy watching television without us

474
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,359
Speaker 3: being on our phones. Like I feel like I wanted

475
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:10,520
Speaker 3: to just become like a phone free zone, you know,

476
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:11,560
Speaker 3: phone free zone.

477
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:16,480
Speaker 5: You have the self discipline right where you better self

478
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,720
Speaker 5: disciplined rather than to ban it from your bedroom.

479
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:20,600
Speaker 3: But I says the guy who has not had a

480
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,480
Speaker 3: sip of coffee in his life.

481
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:24,400
Speaker 5: Is that self discipline?

482
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:24,680
Speaker 1: Yeah?

483
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:25,920
Speaker 5: I mean I'm not attempting. I don't even know what

484
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:26,439
Speaker 5: it tastes like.

485
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:30,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, and where we're addicts here, Mark, Yeah, it's our hit.

486
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:34,400
Speaker 3: I need my hit of the TikTok and the Instagram. Yes,

487
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 3: I haven't checked my emails.

488
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:39,960
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, I don't. I actually probably should check my emails. More.

489
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,480
Speaker 2: I don't, but.

490
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,000
Speaker 3: So so I bought an old school alarm clock and

491
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,119
Speaker 3: put it up in the room and I've been using

492
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:50,679
Speaker 3: that and Robbie's been trying to stop like looking at

493
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:51,960
Speaker 3: his phone when he gets up in the middle of

494
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,359
Speaker 3: the night too, and like we're trying.

495
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:55,960
Speaker 2: Well, so he doesn't have his phone out of the room.

496
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,200
Speaker 3: He does have his phone in the room.

497
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:58,200
Speaker 2: Oh in the room.

498
00:21:58,280 --> 00:21:59,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, why.

499
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:05,160
Speaker 2: Got a wean, But you're not weaning. You're going cold turk.

500
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:09,119
Speaker 3: Mine's not necessarily Mine's not. It's just like a cross

501
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:11,159
Speaker 3: for me. It's not like outside that you.

502
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,040
Speaker 5: Can't reach it from her pillow.

503
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,560
Speaker 2: My only issue with this, tell me, what if there's

504
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:18,679
Speaker 2: an emergency and you need your phone.

505
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:22,239
Speaker 5: I mean, that's my concern. There have been days when

506
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:23,719
Speaker 5: I've called it four in the morning saying I need

507
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,320
Speaker 5: you to get right away because we have to record

508
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:26,120
Speaker 5: some stuff or that.

509
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:30,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was more like actual emergency, but not mark.

510
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 3: So I when I have yeah, I don't know. I

511
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:38,840
Speaker 3: have to figure that out.

512
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:40,720
Speaker 5: Well, if it's in the room, then I can probably

513
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:41,760
Speaker 5: get a hold of you.

514
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:43,160
Speaker 3: It's in the room, okay.

515
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,200
Speaker 5: And I got Robby's number two?

516
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:46,440
Speaker 2: Correct, Do you want to hear something I've just heard

517
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:49,600
Speaker 2: about on TikTok. What this guy was talking about, how

518
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:54,439
Speaker 2: like ways to be prepared in case like of someone

519
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:57,560
Speaker 2: breaking in or something, and like ways to like because

520
00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:00,400
Speaker 2: it was a video of someone being like we were

521
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,879
Speaker 2: in the middle of our sleep and someone entered our

522
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:04,639
Speaker 2: home and like we we looked at each other, like

523
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:05,919
Speaker 2: what do we do? And he was saying, like you

524
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 2: need to have a plan. And he was saying, how

525
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 2: if you have like a smart home and you have

526
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:12,240
Speaker 2: like your lights on a device that you can control

527
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:15,200
Speaker 2: from your phone, like that is a protective because if

528
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:17,520
Speaker 2: you are in your bedroom and someone's in room and

529
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 2: you turn on the lights, they're gonna like be freaked

530
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:21,160
Speaker 2: out that they're not in the dark anymore.

531
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 3: Well, I don't have a smart home, I know, but I.

532
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,439
Speaker 2: Think it's like if you're able. I mean, I know

533
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 2: it's a luxury to be able to, but it's like

534
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:29,280
Speaker 2: the simple as a light switch or switches.

535
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,760
Speaker 4: There's plugs. I have them all over my house. They're

536
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:33,960
Speaker 4: like ten bucks each. I'll send you a link and

537
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,360
Speaker 4: you can control it with an app or with Alexa

538
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 4: or with Google. They're all over the place now in

539
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:40,160
Speaker 4: my home, and it's so hard to shurn the lights

540
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:41,680
Speaker 4: on and off, but you can do it from your phone.

541
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 2: It's great and it makes sense to me that like

542
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:47,360
Speaker 2: that would be a way of like protection.

543
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:48,960
Speaker 3: Don't take me down this spiral.

544
00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:53,480
Speaker 2: I think this is smart, though it's just a tip

545
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:55,159
Speaker 2: that I was, like, I've never thought of it.

546
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,480
Speaker 3: I go home tonight and be like, what is our

547
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:01,240
Speaker 3: plan if somebody he breaks into the house.

548
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:06,719
Speaker 2: Everyone should have one. I have like so many bars

549
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:09,200
Speaker 2: and things protecting like that I put up at night,

550
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:10,639
Speaker 2: and like my windows and everything.

551
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 3: Do you remember when I first moved in, when I

552
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:14,840
Speaker 3: started living alone in my apartment for the first time,

553
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,840
Speaker 3: and I kept hearing noises, and obviously when you move

554
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,560
Speaker 3: into a new apartment complex, like there are noises, but

555
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:21,400
Speaker 3: I just wasn't aware of them because I was new

556
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 3: and so and I don't have locks on my bedroom doors,

557
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,280
Speaker 3: so I would sleep. I took like a broom out

558
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 3: of my like, uh closet with all my cleaning supplies,

559
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,119
Speaker 3: and I put the broom like sideways in front of

560
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:36,160
Speaker 3: the door. And then I also thought it would work

561
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:37,440
Speaker 3: as if I took it off and I could like

562
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:38,440
Speaker 3: hit somebody with Oh.

563
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, those those brooms are doing a lot of damage

564
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:41,240
Speaker 2: to people.

565
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 7: Yeah, And I'm like the thought that I did have

566
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 7: a thought though that if I have a really like

567
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 7: strong throwing arm, if I was able to throw this

568
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:52,719
Speaker 7: and hit someone in the head, I could knock them out.

569
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 2: I can throw, I can throw it really hard, but

570
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 2: I would be like have to it would just have

571
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,119
Speaker 2: to hit them in the right spot. So I'm just saying, like,

572
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 2: this could be, But.

573
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 3: Why do you if you want your phone, maybe throw

574
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 3: like you're maybe having to saying if you could have

575
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 3: a pair of scissors in your bedside table and throw those.

576
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 2: Oh, that's a good one, and hope that they land.

577
00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:12,720
Speaker 5: If you end up not having your phone in the

578
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:14,879
Speaker 5: room with you, that's one less at that point.

579
00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 2: At that point, if I'm in the room and someone's

580
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:28,359
Speaker 2: in there, then I just got paranoia feeding paranoia. I think.

581
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:30,920
Speaker 2: I think it's more about having a plan and being

582
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 2: prepared and not assuming like, oh, that would never happen

583
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,359
Speaker 2: to me. I think it's just like having a plan before.

584
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:38,200
Speaker 2: You need to have a plan. And I think there's

585
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,719
Speaker 2: things that you can do to prevent things. I mean,

586
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 2: I think the light switches is very smart.

587
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 5: Are you not next door.

588
00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:47,639
Speaker 2: I have a ring, which is similar.

589
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 3: Next Door is like an app that tells you what's

590
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 3: going on.

591
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:53,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, Ring does that too. It's called neighborhood or something.

592
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,919
Speaker 5: It's just a bunch of busy bodies. It's just a

593
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,160
Speaker 5: bunch of freaked out people and a lot of borderline

594
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 5: races with people just kind of scare of everybody, and

595
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:02,879
Speaker 5: it just creates a negative rule.

596
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:06,440
Speaker 2: There's some things going on in mind, not in my neighborhood,

597
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,160
Speaker 2: but are in the surrounding area where I'm like, that's

598
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:11,040
Speaker 2: questionable activity.

599
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 3: Oh me too. I've walked my dog past a man.

600
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 3: I can't no, no, I can say it on the podcast.

601
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:17,680
Speaker 3: Can I say jerking off?

602
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:18,399
Speaker 5: Please do?

603
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 3: I've walked my dog past a man jerking off on

604
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:24,120
Speaker 3: front lawn to my apartment complex.

605
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 2: Oh god, yes, that's a surprise.

606
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:31,280
Speaker 3: He was unhoused and it was very disturbing.

607
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:33,200
Speaker 2: Was this at night?

608
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 3: No broad daylight, like noon on a Sunday?

609
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:38,159
Speaker 2: Wow?

610
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:40,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, wow, that is awful. And I'm glad you don't

611
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:42,280
Speaker 5: live there anymore. I just hope one day you stop paying.

612
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:47,399
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, we're glad you're not there, but maybe stuff

613
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:48,160
Speaker 2: won't be there too.

614
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 3: Maybe one day my stuff won't be there, just fingers

615
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 3: crossed for that day.

616
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,119
Speaker 2: Well, anyways, I wasn't trying to breed fear or paranoria.

617
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 2: I was just saying I think it's I took it

618
00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:00,159
Speaker 2: as being like, oh, that is great advice, Like have

619
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:01,840
Speaker 2: a plan before you need to have a plan.

620
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:03,359
Speaker 3: I've alwa had a plan.

621
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:04,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, you love a plan.

622
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 3: I love a plan.

623
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 2: I'm just saying I don't know if the phone, like,

624
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,359
Speaker 2: maybe one of you. I think if one of you

625
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 2: keeps it, yeah.

626
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:13,639
Speaker 3: It's smart for now.

627
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 2: Well maybe once you lose the addiction of needing it,

628
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 2: you can keep yours in the room too. Yeah, and

629
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:23,919
Speaker 2: just put it on do not disturb. Yeah, that's an option.

630
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:27,160
Speaker 3: You know, we're just low learning and growing over here,

631
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 3: we are, and trying to become a better person.

632
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:33,159
Speaker 2: This brings me to another topic. Wait, what was the

633
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 2: thing you were going to talk about?

634
00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:35,040
Speaker 3: Oh, the Mary Phillips.

635
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 2: Oh, let's talk about that. You know, I'm not a

636
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:37,920
Speaker 2: makeup gal.

637
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:40,919
Speaker 3: Like I never try any of these trends, but this

638
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 3: one seemed easy enough. It just seemed like doing your

639
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,920
Speaker 3: makeup and reverse right, So I tried it.

640
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:47,879
Speaker 2: I don't know if you've.

641
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:51,720
Speaker 3: Noticed this about me. But I always have lines here where,

642
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:54,560
Speaker 3: like on my cheekbones for my bronzer. I always have

643
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,920
Speaker 3: lines because I do the blush, and I just always

644
00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:00,200
Speaker 3: have these like jarring lines. I'm lying free.

645
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:04,440
Speaker 2: Yeah it looks good, right, you're glowing.

646
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 3: I'm glowing and I've been doing my makeup the Mary

647
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 3: Phillips way.

648
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 2: I tried it, and I felt like once I put

649
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:14,280
Speaker 2: my foundational on, it just covered everything else.

650
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:16,639
Speaker 3: Like but did you put your foundation on with like

651
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 3: a beauty blender because you're supposed to use like a

652
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:22,159
Speaker 3: blush or not like a brush like a rah you're.

653
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 2: Just to do I think I did it too heavy

654
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 2: or something. But yeah, I finished. I was like, now

655
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:29,919
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to do like double makeup basically, so

656
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 2: I might need to try it again. But everyone else

657
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 2: who does it looks like so it's like light and

658
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 2: just like, oh, my lip just suched like so glowy.

659
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:40,560
Speaker 3: I know, yeah, I'm don't I look glowy.

660
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're glowing glowing. You're tweaking, yeah, from the lack

661
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:48,400
Speaker 2: of caffeine. But she's glowing while she does it. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

662
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 2: I was gonna say. I saw this other video where

663
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:54,200
Speaker 2: I don't even know who it was, but they were

664
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:57,320
Speaker 2: saying how they're they were their couple therapists was saying like,

665
00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 2: if you don't fix uh, like this issue and in

666
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 2: this relationship, it's going to probably come up in your

667
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:05,440
Speaker 2: next relationship.

668
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 3: Which issue it was just.

669
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 2: Saying, like talking about in general tease.

670
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 3: Oh, because we're gonna take a break.

671
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:15,160
Speaker 5: It works.

672
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 3: Before we take the break, I'm gonna text Robbie and

673
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:18,800
Speaker 3: say we need a plan in case someone breaks.

674
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:20,960
Speaker 2: Oh god, don't.

675
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 4: He's gonna go to home alone mode and starts saying

676
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:23,400
Speaker 4: booby traps.

677
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 2: That'd be so funny. Okay, we're back. So the video

678
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 2: is basically saying like, if you don't fix to me,

679
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 2: it's more about fixing the thing that you need to

680
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:55,360
Speaker 2: work on. Yeah, So like if I'm like, no, I'm

681
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:58,880
Speaker 2: still learning and working on communicating my feelings and my needs, right,

682
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 2: it's not like natural for me to do that. But

683
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,640
Speaker 2: if I am doing something that I need to work

684
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,960
Speaker 2: on and it's causing tension or arguments, like recurring arguments

685
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,760
Speaker 2: in our relationship and I don't fix that and then

686
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 2: we break up, I'm like I can't do this anymore.

687
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 2: Those same things are gonna happen to my next relationship, Yeah,

688
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:19,720
Speaker 2: of course. But I thought it was an interesting perspective

689
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 2: because I think it's to be aware enough and willing

690
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 2: to do the work to change things that are unhealthy

691
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:30,160
Speaker 2: habits in your life takes like a commitment and like

692
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 2: awareness and like willingness to do it.

693
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:36,480
Speaker 3: It is so true because I will admit, before I

694
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:38,960
Speaker 3: started dating Robbie, when I was like dating people, when

695
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 3: I was not in a relationship, I was like, I'm

696
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:44,600
Speaker 3: gonna be the freaking best, Like I can't get better

697
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:46,959
Speaker 3: than me, Like I'm the best catch. I got it

698
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 3: going on, like you know what I mean, Like I

699
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 3: had and I still think that way, Like I still

700
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 3: think I'm a really great partner. But there are things

701
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 3: that pop up in our relationship that I know are

702
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 3: on me, you know what I mean, Like there are

703
00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 3: things traits and things that I like. I like to

704
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:03,479
Speaker 3: control everything. I like to have a plan. That's how

705
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 3: I've always been. But when you have a partner in

706
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 3: your life, it can't always go every single way the

707
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 3: way that you want it to. And that was like

708
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 3: really hard for me, and it's like continues to be

709
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 3: hard for me, you know, what I mean, like I'm

710
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:17,440
Speaker 3: waiting for, you know, things to happen so that other

711
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 3: things can happen, and I want to plan other things

712
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 3: to happen, and so I'm like, you know, I get

713
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 3: all in my head and I get overwhelmed, and he's

714
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 3: like he always just like can kind of calm. He

715
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:28,960
Speaker 3: gets on my level and he hears me out, and

716
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 3: he's like, I got it. I on the same path,

717
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,520
Speaker 3: like he can. Really we really figured out a good

718
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 3: system now. But it is funny because I really had

719
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 3: to do a lot of work on myself and just

720
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,040
Speaker 3: kind of like figuring out, yes, these are the things

721
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 3: I bring to the relationship that cause tension, and how

722
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 3: do I work on those for myself, because yeah, I

723
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 3: can't control even if I started dating somebody else, I'm

724
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 3: gonna be the same way.

725
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:54,560
Speaker 2: Yes, exactly. But I think a lot of people go, Okay,

726
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:58,360
Speaker 2: this person's expecting too much of me. This relationship isn't working.

727
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 2: We're always fighting, and I'm going to move on to

728
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,360
Speaker 2: somebody else, And then they move on and it's like

729
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 2: the same pattern continues on the flip side. Obviously, if

730
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:10,480
Speaker 2: you're an unhealthy relationship and you're with someone who's abusive

731
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 2: or doesn't treat you well or isn't doing their part.

732
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 2: That's different. It's not saying like you have to figure

733
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 2: it out in this relationship or it won't work with

734
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:22,360
Speaker 2: anyone else. It's just saying, like, if you're not willing

735
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:23,880
Speaker 2: to work on the things that you need to work

736
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:25,960
Speaker 2: on in one relationship, you're going to carry that into

737
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 2: the next relationship. Yeah, which I thought was cool. It's

738
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:33,600
Speaker 2: encouraging because like you kind of have more power to

739
00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 2: figure things out and make it work if you're if

740
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:39,240
Speaker 2: you're willing to do the work.

741
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:43,880
Speaker 3: Yeah. And also, like taking accountability and responsibility for yourself

742
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 3: is actually a really empowering feeling. I used to point

743
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 3: the finger a lot.

744
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:52,000
Speaker 2: It's like you you, you same. And I also used

745
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:58,000
Speaker 2: to like shut down to avoid confrontation, which made me

746
00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:01,080
Speaker 2: feel like I was better than I was the peacemaker,

747
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,240
Speaker 2: but I really wasn't because I was just doing something

748
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 2: that would lead to resentment eventually, and that's that's a

749
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,800
Speaker 2: tough pill to swallow. And I still, I mean, I

750
00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 2: shut down in a way to protect myself, and it's

751
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 2: like I, you know, I have had to learn to

752
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 2: trust that, like Haley doesn't want to hurt me. She's

753
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 2: never trying to hurt me, right, But it's it's a lot,

754
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:25,240
Speaker 2: and I think you do have to be, like I said,

755
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 2: willing and self aware enough to know that it's worth

756
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:29,720
Speaker 2: the work and the challenges, because there's a lot of

757
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 2: times where I've been through a process of like, oh,

758
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 2: I'm really working on this and I'm in the middle

759
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:36,959
Speaker 2: where i feel like I haven't gotten to where I'm

760
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 2: good at it yet, but then like going back doesn't

761
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:42,560
Speaker 2: feel productive, and I'm in that middle spot where I'm like,

762
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 2: I feel very stuck and like stagnant, and that stuck

763
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:50,240
Speaker 2: is the worst, and it's so uncomfortable. So you're kind

764
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,959
Speaker 2: of like, what's the why even bother working on it?

765
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 2: Let me just be unhealthy. It's like a diet. It's

766
00:33:56,520 --> 00:34:00,240
Speaker 2: like giving up caffeine. It's like if you.

767
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,400
Speaker 3: Just quit during to work on it.

768
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then you'll get to the other side and

769
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 2: you'll be like, I'm so glad I went through that

770
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 2: because now I feel I'm glowing.

771
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:09,320
Speaker 5: You don't need it, well.

772
00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 3: Now I'm going therapy.

773
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:11,120
Speaker 2: Do you drink coffee?

774
00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:15,440
Speaker 5: Yes? Okay, just Mark is just a peard caffeine in

775
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:18,919
Speaker 5: twenty eight years. Wow, I have had caffeine. I haven't

776
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:20,080
Speaker 5: had coffee, but I've had caffeine.

777
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:21,040
Speaker 2: You only drink water.

778
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:23,239
Speaker 5: I only drink water. It's one of my rules. I

779
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:24,400
Speaker 5: have a lot of rules.

780
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 3: It works a lot of fun. Bring him to your

781
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:30,160
Speaker 3: next party.

782
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:33,000
Speaker 2: Does your wine for your kids drink soda or anything?

783
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, not really soda much, but yeah, they drink whatever.

784
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:38,320
Speaker 5: You know, they go to Starbucks and stuff like that. Yeah, okay,

785
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,279
Speaker 5: but they're always freaked out if they see me drinking

786
00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:42,640
Speaker 5: anything other than water, because it's very weird for dad

787
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:43,919
Speaker 5: to drink something other than water.

788
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 2: Like so like, if you went into like a pizza restaurant,

789
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 2: you get water to drink.

790
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:51,919
Speaker 4: That happened then washes down pizza better than a cold

791
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 4: glass of water.

792
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 5: All they ever drink is water except almond milk on

793
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:57,959
Speaker 5: my cereal. That's it. That's the rule.

794
00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:03,759
Speaker 3: It's crazy, like, are these dua Lipa's rules? Where these

795
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:05,120
Speaker 3: Why do you have these rules?

796
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 2: You know?

797
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:06,640
Speaker 3: It's funny.

798
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 5: I have these rules because I like to lead a

799
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:11,919
Speaker 5: disciplined life, and I think that's the best way to live,

800
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,520
Speaker 5: because otherwise it gets out of control if you.

801
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 3: Just let yourself drink anything, like what next you're drinking?

802
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,560
Speaker 5: Like, well, look at that. You're wasting so much money

803
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:24,239
Speaker 5: and calories on beverages. I have no interest in beverages,

804
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:28,360
Speaker 5: So why would I waste money and calories on beverages if.

805
00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:29,680
Speaker 3: It's good calories like a nice green juice.

806
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,200
Speaker 5: No interest in that. And by the way, that sounds gross.

807
00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:37,440
Speaker 2: Wow. The like the luxury of like an ice cold soda?

808
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 5: Nope, oh not interesting.

809
00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:43,319
Speaker 2: It's really hard to be like sometimes I just want

810
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,480
Speaker 2: to drink soda. I don't even need food with it.

811
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:47,360
Speaker 3: But like, even if you're sick, you don't want to

812
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 3: drink some orange juice or some natural remedy.

813
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:54,880
Speaker 5: Better than trying to just trying to stump him, nothing

814
00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 5: is better than water for you. For you, Yeah, that's

815
00:35:58,280 --> 00:35:58,799
Speaker 5: what I'm saying.

816
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:00,239
Speaker 2: Taste wise, I.

817
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 5: Enjoy the taste of water. I have no interest in

818
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:03,080
Speaker 5: anything else.

819
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,320
Speaker 2: Do you think different waters taste different? Uh?

820
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:08,719
Speaker 5: Somewhat, but not in a way that's going to deter me.

821
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:11,640
Speaker 5: I don't turn down any brand of water, like a

822
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 5: bubble water cross no carbon changes the whole flavor. I

823
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,239
Speaker 5: hate it. No, that's just how boring I am.

824
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 3: No, I don't like bubble water water.

825
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 5: I have a lot of rules, and when people ask

826
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:27,600
Speaker 5: me for them, I can't come up with them. They

827
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:29,279
Speaker 5: just come up throughout life. But like one is, don't

828
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:32,759
Speaker 5: chew gum. I never chew gum. I don't get it.

829
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 5: I don't see the point of it. It's this flavor

830
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,799
Speaker 5: for like thirty seconds and then you're just chewing on

831
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:42,359
Speaker 5: some tasteless gray blob. Don't get it.

832
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 3: As a gum chewer. In my day, I chewed a

833
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:51,840
Speaker 3: lot of gum, as you remember, yeah, stumble tooting around.

834
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:56,400
Speaker 3: I loved gum because to me, it was like a

835
00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:58,239
Speaker 3: it's good for your like I was felt like I

836
00:36:58,239 --> 00:36:59,759
Speaker 3: had fresh breath when I had come in my mouth.

837
00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 3: I felt minty fresh. I felt as if it would

838
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 3: replace like a sugar creaming, Like if I was just

839
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:07,640
Speaker 3: at work and I needed like a little sugar or something,

840
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:09,239
Speaker 3: I'd pop a piece of gum and I felt like

841
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:14,799
Speaker 3: I would get it. I like gum to me was

842
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:17,000
Speaker 3: like my tongue, like it was always in my mouth

843
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:22,080
Speaker 3: like I was gum girl. And then for your job,

844
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 3: it's so bad. It's like bad for your jobs, bad

845
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:25,239
Speaker 3: for your teeth.

846
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:25,640
Speaker 5: That's the thing.

847
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:25,879
Speaker 3: I see.

848
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 5: No upside, there's all.

849
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 3: These chemicals and gum and it like makes you hungrier apparently,

850
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,879
Speaker 3: So I'm like, I got rid of gum years ago.

851
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:37,440
Speaker 5: Well, Pie in a disciplined life. I'm just saying a

852
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:42,759
Speaker 5: disciplined life because you see people that are out of control, alcohol, drugs, obesity,

853
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:44,759
Speaker 5: whatever it is. You see just people that have just

854
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:48,319
Speaker 5: kind of and that's what living like a disciplined life

855
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:51,680
Speaker 5: prevents you from falling into those traps. So I'm disciplined.

856
00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:54,480
Speaker 5: Here's another big one. Once I brush my teeth, no

857
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 5: more food under any circumstances. That is a hard rule.

858
00:37:59,440 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 3: Mark.

859
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:02,040
Speaker 5: I just made cookies. Sorry, I brushed my teeth. That

860
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,279
Speaker 5: happened two nights ago. Ali got home the other night

861
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:08,400
Speaker 5: with Crumble cookies, big box of Crumble cookies. Sorry, can

862
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 5: you eat some of these because I don't want them

863
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:10,680
Speaker 5: in the house. Can you to get rid of something?

864
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:10,960
Speaker 3: I think?

865
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,759
Speaker 5: No, I brushed my teeth, no period. No you brush

866
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:16,759
Speaker 5: your teeth again, yes, but I will not because that

867
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:17,399
Speaker 5: is the rule.

868
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:25,920
Speaker 2: Man. The way that I brushed my teeth last night

869
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 2: and then they multiple brownie cookies and milk, and then

870
00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 2: brushed them again and went to sleep so filled, filled

871
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:36,240
Speaker 2: and contine.

872
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:37,759
Speaker 3: Like the amount I brushed my teeth. That's like I

873
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:39,040
Speaker 3: brushed my teeth constantly.

874
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 5: I can't.

875
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:42,279
Speaker 2: I try to implement that rule, like when I'm like

876
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:44,480
Speaker 2: trying to be healthy, I'll be like, Okay, once I

877
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 2: brushed my teeth, no more. But you know, cookies, I

878
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:52,840
Speaker 2: gotta have them. They were gluten free, gluten free brownie

879
00:38:52,880 --> 00:39:02,439
Speaker 2: cookies from where Lorenza, I don't know, friend, but yeah,

880
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 2: those are really good.

881
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 3: They are really good. I really want to get to.

882
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:08,960
Speaker 3: I think it's called something laur Laurel, Laurel, Sweet Laurel.

883
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 3: It's a bakery. She's all like gluten free and apparently delicious,

884
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:16,799
Speaker 3: apparently come into a review.

885
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:21,680
Speaker 2: I got. Okay. Someone tweeted me and said, I've always

886
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:24,279
Speaker 2: my whole life I have been told in some capacity

887
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:27,400
Speaker 2: that I resembled the Presley. So it was like, you

888
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:30,279
Speaker 2: look like Lisa Marie, you look like young Priscilla my

889
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:32,759
Speaker 2: whole life, my best friends always said it. I've never

890
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 2: like really seen it. But someone tagged me in a

891
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 2: tweet last night and said, Becker reminds me of young

892
00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:41,439
Speaker 2: Priscilla Presley. And I was looking.

893
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:44,640
Speaker 5: And yeah, I could see that.

894
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 3: Yeah I could see that too.

895
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:49,320
Speaker 2: Oh that one, sure, and that one she's thinking like

896
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 2: a funny face, but I was like so devastated when Lisa.

897
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:54,920
Speaker 2: Hearing about Lisa, Marie.

898
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:57,320
Speaker 5: Pressley especially, we all just washed her the golden clothes.

899
00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's really jarring because it's like one day or

900
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:01,560
Speaker 3: here in the next.

901
00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 5: She had a tough life.

902
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:07,000
Speaker 2: She really did, and like I just Perscilla, I don't know,

903
00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:10,319
Speaker 2: I just feel so sad for the whole family. It's devastating.

904
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 2: Should we get to emails.

905
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:17,759
Speaker 5: They're pretty good. This one's not actually both anonymous. They're anonymous.

906
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:20,160
Speaker 5: These days the trend of telling us your name when

907
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:22,840
Speaker 5: you email us is over. Anyway, This woman says, I

908
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:24,560
Speaker 5: discovered your podcast a month or two ago, and I

909
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:26,759
Speaker 5: have pretty much binged the whole thing since then. It's

910
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:29,840
Speaker 5: verging on unhealthy honestly, Well, thank you. That's very nice.

911
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:32,719
Speaker 5: It has brought me so much joy and also introspection

912
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:35,239
Speaker 5: on some really important topics. I really appreciate what you

913
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:37,160
Speaker 5: guys do and the light you spread in the world.

914
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:39,479
Speaker 5: I don't have a specific scenario to ask you about,

915
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:41,239
Speaker 5: but I'm curious to understand some of the advice you

916
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:43,439
Speaker 5: have given in the past. I've heard you say Mark

917
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:46,880
Speaker 5: specifically that men are stupid and need to be taught,

918
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:49,600
Speaker 5: that they're willing to learn, but need women to guide

919
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 5: them in the right direction. I have found that to

920
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:54,439
Speaker 5: be true in past relationships. But here's my question. Why

921
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:56,600
Speaker 5: is it up to women to teach our partners these things.

922
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 5: Can't they do some soul searching and figure it out

923
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 5: on their own? Or is that nice? Do you really

924
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:03,040
Speaker 5: have to lead a horse to water and force it

925
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:05,759
Speaker 5: to drink? Would love your thoughts on this, because I

926
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:08,400
Speaker 5: think your advice is probably correct. I just want to

927
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:12,560
Speaker 5: understand it. I'll start because you mentioned me, because I

928
00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 5: was that guy, and I think a lot of it

929
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,279
Speaker 5: because I've done a lot of thought thinking on this,

930
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:20,200
Speaker 5: especially since the pandemic of why am I like I am?

931
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:22,560
Speaker 5: And more importantly, why was I like I was in

932
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 5: my twenties, I think a lot of it with dudes

933
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,799
Speaker 5: is the coddling that happens at home. The mother's son

934
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:32,719
Speaker 5: relationship is very interesting because in most cases, not all

935
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 5: the son can do no wrong. Their son walks on water,

936
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:40,000
Speaker 5: he could rob a bank and be convicted of these crimes, like, oh,

937
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:41,960
Speaker 5: but he's such a good boy, He's got such a

938
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 5: good heart. You know, it's never his fault. He never

939
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:46,720
Speaker 5: knows anything wrong. And then they get into their twenties

940
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 5: and maybe there's a live it at home, but Mama,

941
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 5: I'll do your laundry. Maybe they get their own place.

942
00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 5: Moms like, I'll come buy and do your laundry. It's fine.

943
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:54,239
Speaker 5: I left the lasagna in the fridge for you. You know,

944
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 5: it's this coddling. It results in a reft of development,

945
00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:59,840
Speaker 5: and that also gives them a mentality that they're the

946
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 5: greatest person in the world, even though they're completely flawed,

947
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:08,480
Speaker 5: and that prevents them from evolving, maturing, and improving themselves.

948
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:11,360
Speaker 5: I think that's where this comes from. Yes, it's terrible

949
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:13,919
Speaker 5: that women have to do this for guys, but you're

950
00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 5: gonna have to, I think, unless you want to wait

951
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 5: and marry a fifty year old who has actually finally

952
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:21,719
Speaker 5: figured it out for themselves, because it takes forever for

953
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:24,480
Speaker 5: men to mature. And I don't know why that is.

954
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:28,120
Speaker 5: I watched my wedding video recently. I was thirty one,

955
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:32,480
Speaker 5: and I'm just like that guy didn't have a clue,

956
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:36,239
Speaker 5: and I'm so thankful and great my wife married me

957
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:39,520
Speaker 5: when that guy was not marriable. He really wasn't. It

958
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,960
Speaker 5: took a long time for me, and I feel like

959
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:45,480
Speaker 5: I'm one of the good ones. So you know, if

960
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:48,000
Speaker 5: there's something there in that guy, and you're in your

961
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,279
Speaker 5: twenties or early thirties and they so is the guy,

962
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:54,080
Speaker 5: and there's something there. He's funny, he's handsome, he's going

963
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 5: to be.

964
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:54,799
Speaker 2: A good dad.

965
00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:57,120
Speaker 5: You see, it's like a house with good bones. You know,

966
00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:59,839
Speaker 5: you feel like there's something there. You can take care

967
00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:02,759
Speaker 5: of the other stuff. You can wean him the theme

968
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,919
Speaker 5: of this episode. Wean him off the porn. You can

969
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:08,640
Speaker 5: teach him to put his clothes in the hamper, you know,

970
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:12,520
Speaker 5: you can help him get away from his mother coddling

971
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:15,359
Speaker 5: him to you not coddling him. There's a way to

972
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:18,359
Speaker 5: do that, And I'm sorry, I think you're gonna have

973
00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:20,800
Speaker 5: to otherwise it's gonna be pretty lonely.

974
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 2: Are you the only boy?

975
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, just me and my sister.

976
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:25,839
Speaker 2: Do you think there's a difference of like it being

977
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:29,040
Speaker 2: the only boy versus Yeah, maybe, yeah.

978
00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:32,200
Speaker 5: That's possible. Yeah, because I and I was treated completely

979
00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:35,560
Speaker 5: differently than my sister was. And we joke about it now,

980
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 5: but I know that's a painful thing for her.

981
00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:41,680
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, I don't think you're wrong, but I

982
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:42,799
Speaker 2: do wonder if that's a.

983
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:44,839
Speaker 6: Look.

984
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:47,360
Speaker 3: I feel like everybody needs to be taught something, you

985
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:49,320
Speaker 3: know what I mean, Like, you teach everybody in a

986
00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 3: relationship how to be a better hopefully your partner in

987
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:54,840
Speaker 3: life makes you become a better person.

988
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:55,640
Speaker 5: That's true.

989
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:56,680
Speaker 2: So it's not just.

990
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:59,040
Speaker 3: About teaching men, even though I do think it. I

991
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:01,680
Speaker 3: do think that women to lead more in that regard.

992
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:04,840
Speaker 3: I think it's both people teaching each other and growing

993
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:07,360
Speaker 3: and learning together. So it's like you're never going to

994
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:09,799
Speaker 3: get a perfect person because that perfect person is going

995
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 3: to clash with you in certain ways.

996
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:13,279
Speaker 5: That's true. I feel like, if you like, when I

997
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 5: met my wife, she was eighteen, and she was so

998
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 5: much more mature than I was. Because when you're in

999
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:22,400
Speaker 5: your twenties, most guys in their twenties it's sports, porn,

1000
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 5: video games, beer, and you think, I'm awesome and this

1001
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:27,000
Speaker 5: is great, and I need to find a woman who's

1002
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:28,640
Speaker 5: going to be fine with all that stuff for you know,

1003
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:32,239
Speaker 5: they'll figure it out eventually. But I feel like a

1004
00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:34,320
Speaker 5: woman is way more mature than a guy at a

1005
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:35,160
Speaker 5: much younger age.

1006
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:37,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I do agree. I think that there are

1007
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:41,760
Speaker 2: things that like, even being in a relationship with a woman,

1008
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:44,920
Speaker 2: there's still things where we were like, oh, can you

1009
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:46,560
Speaker 2: do this or can you work on this? Like I

1010
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:49,840
Speaker 2: think it's just like humans having certain habits, and I

1011
00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 2: think that men are just slower too mature and develop

1012
00:44:55,360 --> 00:45:00,960
Speaker 2: than women, and especially emotionally and like mentally. So I

1013
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:02,600
Speaker 2: think no matter who you're with, you're going to have

1014
00:45:02,719 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 2: things where, like like Tanya said, where they're gonna you're

1015
00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 2: gonna learn from them and they're gonna learn from you.

1016
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:10,120
Speaker 2: But sometimes I do think you are gonna have to

1017
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:12,360
Speaker 2: take the lead on partnership.

1018
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:14,480
Speaker 3: Oh your nerves.

1019
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:18,719
Speaker 5: But I think dating a woman is the way to gorus.

1020
00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:22,400
Speaker 5: But also Tanya, dating a fully formed mail is the

1021
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:23,719
Speaker 5: way to go. You wait till a guy was in

1022
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:25,400
Speaker 5: his mid forties and look at him.

1023
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:28,600
Speaker 3: Well, yes he's great, but that also comes with its

1024
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 3: fair share of nuances.

1025
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:32,799
Speaker 5: I suppose, so yeah, But I'm just saying, if he

1026
00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:34,400
Speaker 5: was twenty five when you met him, I don't know,

1027
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 5: who knows, totally a different person, totally, all right. Next one,

1028
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 5: this is about Tanya and Robbie's gas station analogy. She says,

1029
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 5: help I've been married to my husband for a little

1030
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:45,279
Speaker 5: over three years now. I met him when I was

1031
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:47,759
Speaker 5: twenty seven, and at that point everybody around me was

1032
00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 5: married with kids, and I was ready to have that too.

1033
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:53,759
Speaker 5: So I do remember having some gut hesitations, but I

1034
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:56,160
Speaker 5: got married. My husband's been nothing but good to me.

1035
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:57,960
Speaker 5: He cares for me, make sure I'm taking care of

1036
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,319
Speaker 5: our lives, fit together well. My family loves me as

1037
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:02,880
Speaker 5: a good job. He helps her on the house. I

1038
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:05,320
Speaker 5: feel like I can be myself with him. Over the

1039
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:09,280
Speaker 5: past three years, though our relationship has been mah, no spark,

1040
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 5: no excitement. We never even fight about anything. I told

1041
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:15,000
Speaker 5: my therapist, it's like I have a good roommate to

1042
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:18,080
Speaker 5: come home to every day. Marriages go through lulls. I

1043
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:20,680
Speaker 5: get that, but it shouldn't have started this soon. I'm

1044
00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:23,719
Speaker 5: thirty one now, I'm ready to have kids. He'd be

1045
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:27,359
Speaker 5: an amazing dad, but we have very little physical intimacy now,

1046
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:29,200
Speaker 5: So how are we supposed to have a child together

1047
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:31,359
Speaker 5: when I don't have the attraction to him to start

1048
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 5: the baby making process. I'm at a good gas station

1049
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 5: that provides for all my basic needs. It's not flashy,

1050
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:40,600
Speaker 5: it's not exciting when you pull up to it. But

1051
00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:43,480
Speaker 5: it's a good, reliable gas station. Do I stay at

1052
00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:46,040
Speaker 5: this gas station or is there a better gas station

1053
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:46,880
Speaker 5: up the road for me?

1054
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 3: Well, when she brings the gas, Yeah, it sways my

1055
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:58,200
Speaker 3: opinion slightly because the way you're describing this man, he's

1056
00:46:58,239 --> 00:46:59,920
Speaker 3: a good man, and I feel like good men are

1057
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:02,920
Speaker 3: very hard to come by. Unfortunately they are. There's a

1058
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:06,480
Speaker 3: lot of dickheads out there, and if he's a good man,

1059
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:13,279
Speaker 3: that is like a huge, huge check, I think, and

1060
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:16,160
Speaker 3: I think that it's not worth giving up. I feel

1061
00:47:16,160 --> 00:47:18,240
Speaker 3: like you should really try maybe go to therapy.

1062
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:22,280
Speaker 5: Maybe I skipped that part. They have tried couples counseling

1063
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:25,440
Speaker 5: promost to year with no improvements. But could you date somebody?

1064
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:25,839
Speaker 2: What is it?

1065
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 5: I don't want to phrase it. It's your phrase that

1066
00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:31,120
Speaker 5: when you met Robbie and you looked into each other eyes,

1067
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:32,840
Speaker 5: you felt.

1068
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:35,040
Speaker 3: Fanny flutters vagina tingle, that's the one.

1069
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:38,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, could you marry someone that didn't give you that feeling?

1070
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:39,640
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1071
00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 5: You could?

1072
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:42,359
Speaker 3: I mean I don't know, because I don't I can't

1073
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,240
Speaker 3: think about marrying and I wouldn't want to marry anybody

1074
00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:48,799
Speaker 3: else but him. But yeah, I don't think that that. Like,

1075
00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:50,960
Speaker 3: I know a lot of people that have been married

1076
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 3: that got married to men that they didn't have the

1077
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:56,759
Speaker 3: initial spark with that It took a couple of dates

1078
00:47:56,760 --> 00:48:00,120
Speaker 3: for them to have chemistry or get that that thing going.

1079
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:01,799
Speaker 2: But they eventually got it.

1080
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:04,680
Speaker 3: But they eventually got it. But this feels like it's

1081
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:05,360
Speaker 3: been years.

1082
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:09,320
Speaker 5: It's been four years. She's tired of feeling every day.

1083
00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:13,319
Speaker 2: I think that Remember that lady. I wish I could

1084
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:16,520
Speaker 2: remember her name because I literally loved her advice. She

1085
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:19,680
Speaker 2: was a sex therapist. Remember she was talking about like

1086
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:22,400
Speaker 2: intimacy and like how you learn each other's kind of

1087
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 2: like sex.

1088
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:34,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, we got to wait back, But I think like

1089
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 6: looking into something like that, because it sounds like the

1090
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:40,520
Speaker 6: physical intimacy is a huge thing that you feel like

1091
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 6: you're missing, So like giving yourself a chance because maybe you're, uh,

1092
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:47,160
Speaker 6: it's not it's not love.

1093
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:49,600
Speaker 2: Love language, it's not sex language. What is it, like

1094
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:52,720
Speaker 2: your sexual intimacy preferences or whatever.

1095
00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:55,319
Speaker 3: You go to a sex therapist too, But there's like

1096
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:57,920
Speaker 3: the sexual blueprint, everybody sexual.

1097
00:48:57,600 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 2: Blueprint, Like looking into that and maybe going to someone

1098
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:03,319
Speaker 2: who can help, because I really do think there's a

1099
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:08,040
Speaker 2: lot of like shame around sex and intimacy, especially when

1100
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:09,920
Speaker 2: you're married and not having it. I think there's a

1101
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:12,200
Speaker 2: lot of fear of like it's never going to come back.

1102
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 2: But it might just be as simple that y'all have

1103
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:17,600
Speaker 2: a different preference in blueprint when it comes to what

1104
00:49:17,719 --> 00:49:21,480
Speaker 2: you want and need in that physical relationship. But I

1105
00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:25,799
Speaker 2: think you try, and I think you try to get

1106
00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:28,160
Speaker 2: back to there because I think there was something there,

1107
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:32,040
Speaker 2: because to even commit to marrying someone and spending your

1108
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:35,319
Speaker 2: life with them, there was a there was something there

1109
00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:38,120
Speaker 2: that you were drawn to. Yeah, But at the same time,

1110
00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:40,920
Speaker 2: the other part of me goes, how long do you

1111
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 2: give it before you say I'm not feeling fulfilled? I'm not.

1112
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:47,000
Speaker 2: I don't feel like I'm like even living my life,

1113
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:48,640
Speaker 2: and life is moving by, and I.

1114
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:51,440
Speaker 3: Feel like you give it more shots in different ways,

1115
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:53,960
Speaker 3: you know, maybe bring some toys into the bedroom, maybe

1116
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 3: do a strip tease for him, maybe make him a

1117
00:49:57,080 --> 00:49:58,160
Speaker 3: little porno or something.

1118
00:49:58,239 --> 00:50:02,680
Speaker 2: I learn it learning, but what he wants or needs

1119
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:05,160
Speaker 2: and what you want or need, and like being able

1120
00:50:05,200 --> 00:50:06,719
Speaker 2: to show up for each other that way, I think

1121
00:50:06,719 --> 00:50:09,279
Speaker 2: that's like a worth it to try, because I think

1122
00:50:09,320 --> 00:50:13,880
Speaker 2: what feels like y'all are lacking. Is that physical intimacy?

1123
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:17,640
Speaker 5: That's good advice because the ability to turn on your

1124
00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:19,520
Speaker 5: partner is an incredible turn on.

1125
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:22,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think it connections. I know a lot

1126
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:24,719
Speaker 2: of people are like, sex isn't that important, and like,

1127
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:29,520
Speaker 2: believe me, I was a vision for however long, but

1128
00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:33,280
Speaker 2: I still when I dated people the physical like Robert

1129
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:36,200
Speaker 2: and I, because I was so shut down from like

1130
00:50:36,239 --> 00:50:39,759
Speaker 2: even letting myself feel emotionally connected. But we had like

1131
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:44,040
Speaker 2: really like good physical chemistry, and that has always been

1132
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 2: important to me. And I think that being able to

1133
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:50,400
Speaker 2: have that connection with someone, especially when you're married and

1134
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:52,560
Speaker 2: after you've been together for a long time, can like

1135
00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:56,520
Speaker 2: really revive the feelings of like wanting to be around

1136
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:58,520
Speaker 2: that person, the joy and the fun of being in

1137
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:00,800
Speaker 2: a relationship. So I think you give that a shot

1138
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:05,640
Speaker 2: before you just say because once again, if it's happening now,

1139
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:08,200
Speaker 2: couldn't happen in the next relationship.

1140
00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:10,480
Speaker 3: And you go to the next gas station and maybe

1141
00:51:10,480 --> 00:51:13,400
Speaker 3: this one's a little flashier, but he sucks, and he like,

1142
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:17,640
Speaker 3: isn't good? Isn't good? You know, Yeah, then you got

1143
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:19,880
Speaker 3: to go to the next gas station. Maybe that gas station.

1144
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:24,680
Speaker 5: Is bold, bald, but.

1145
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:27,040
Speaker 3: A great guy, but has no ambition.

1146
00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:30,200
Speaker 5: Lacks ambition, anonymous that is saying this. I hate decisions

1147
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:32,239
Speaker 5: and big changes, so the thought of starting over makes

1148
00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:34,279
Speaker 5: me break out in hives. I think we are unanimous

1149
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:36,279
Speaker 5: here that you should stick this out and figure this

1150
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:38,279
Speaker 5: out because you can make this work.

1151
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 2: I think it's worth exhausting all efforts to make this

1152
00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:46,520
Speaker 2: relationship work. But I also think at a certain point

1153
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:49,200
Speaker 2: you can say I've done all I can do and

1154
00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:52,320
Speaker 2: it's not working anymore, and give yourself the grace to

1155
00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:53,279
Speaker 2: navigate that too.

1156
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:56,239
Speaker 5: Yeah, well, there we go.

1157
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:01,840
Speaker 2: Sometimes I feel like we're giving advice on situations that

1158
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:02,920
Speaker 2: are so out of.

1159
00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:05,880
Speaker 3: Above us, but that's what you need. Sometimes you just

1160
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:08,800
Speaker 3: want to hear somebody's opinion that's not involved, you know

1161
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:11,640
Speaker 3: what I mean. Like, Yeah, it's interesting. I think about

1162
00:52:11,640 --> 00:52:13,600
Speaker 3: that because when I have questions or whenever I go

1163
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:15,560
Speaker 3: to like you guys, or you know, like I have

1164
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 3: go to my friends, but they're so invested and they're

1165
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:20,920
Speaker 3: so in it that they can't really see it for

1166
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:22,640
Speaker 3: what it is, black and white.

1167
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:25,840
Speaker 2: They're looking at it straight on and not overhead correct

1168
00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:26,520
Speaker 2: to see.

1169
00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:28,080
Speaker 3: Which is what we're doing. We're just looking at it

1170
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:30,160
Speaker 3: straight on and that.

1171
00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:32,239
Speaker 5: You needed to hear. Stay with him, stick it out.

1172
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:33,239
Speaker 5: You can make this work.

1173
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:35,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're looking from the end zone cam and not the.

1174
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:39,880
Speaker 3: Sky cam exactly. I don't know what that means, but

1175
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:40,960
Speaker 3: it's not a good.

1176
00:52:42,719 --> 00:52:44,520
Speaker 2: Well, I think that's it for today. Friends.

1177
00:52:44,719 --> 00:52:46,799
Speaker 3: We will not be back Thursday because we do not

1178
00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:47,359
Speaker 3: have a guest.

1179
00:52:47,520 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 2: We don't. We'll be back next Monday.

1180
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:55,280
Speaker 3: We will because we are here. That is what you you.

1181
00:52:55,280 --> 00:52:57,759
Speaker 3: You know, consistency that we are will be here.

1182
00:52:57,960 --> 00:52:59,960
Speaker 2: Well, today's Tuesday, so we weren't that consistent.

1183
00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:01,680
Speaker 3: But well, I'm gonna blame that one on you.

1184
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:03,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I took the day off yesterday.

1185
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:08,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, as did you know we were here? Okay, all right,

1186
00:53:08,360 --> 00:53:08,879
Speaker 3: love you all.

1187
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:11,320
Speaker 2: We'll be back Monday. I have a great rest of

1188
00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:13,480
Speaker 2: the week and weekend, and we love you so much.

1189
00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 3: Love you bye.