WEBVTT - Second Saturday Divorce Advice Workshop 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:06.720 Hi there. It's me Laura Wasser, the divorce attorney and 0:00:06.760 --> 0:00:10.040 the founder of It's over Easy, the online divorce service. 0:00:10.920 --> 0:00:14.080 I've been practicing family law for over twenty years and 0:00:14.120 --> 0:00:17.479 I've worked on thousands of divorces, shepherding people through what 0:00:17.600 --> 0:00:20.280 may be one of the most terrifying times in their lives. 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:22.919 Along the way, I often have to remind people to 0:00:23.040 --> 0:00:26.320 lower their expectations when dealing with matters of the heart. 0:00:26.600 --> 0:00:31.840 Rules simply don't apply, because all's fair in love and war. 0:00:32.400 --> 0:00:37.159 Open your heart, fasten your seatbelts, and let's go. Hello everyone. 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:40.080 I'm Laura Wasser, the attorney and CEO of the online 0:00:40.080 --> 0:00:43.160 divorce service It's over Easy, and I'm Johnny Rain's chief 0:00:43.159 --> 0:00:46.160 content officer. And It's over Easy. Over Easy is many 0:00:46.240 --> 0:00:49.600 things too many people. First and foremost, It's over Easy 0:00:49.680 --> 0:00:52.000 is a tool anyone can use with their student to 0:00:52.040 --> 0:00:55.440 be x to navigate their own legal divorce without attorneys 0:00:55.520 --> 0:00:58.400 at a great price. Considering the average divorce in the 0:00:58.480 --> 0:01:01.720 United States is upwards a fifth teen thousand dollars, I'd say, 0:01:01.720 --> 0:01:04.000 and It's over Easy divorce, which is all in between 0:01:04.080 --> 0:01:07.959 seven fifty is definitely worth the money. In addition, to 0:01:08.040 --> 0:01:11.720 its every easy being an easy to use yourself divorce platform, 0:01:12.000 --> 0:01:14.800 We've created a safe place for a community of modern voices, 0:01:14.920 --> 0:01:18.440 all of whom understand what we call the evolution of dissolution, 0:01:19.120 --> 0:01:21.800 also known as how to divorce without destroying your family 0:01:22.200 --> 0:01:25.480 or bankrupting yourself. If you listen to Divorce Sucks, you'll 0:01:25.480 --> 0:01:28.480 remember meeting a few of our future professionals from the index. 0:01:28.560 --> 0:01:31.320 And today we'd like to introduce you to the brilliant 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:34.560 women who created and sponsor one of the most important 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:39.280 organizations in our circle called Second Saturday, the co founders 0:01:39.280 --> 0:01:42.840 of the Women's Institute for Financial Education, which is brilliantly 0:01:42.880 --> 0:01:45.920 and more widely known as wife dot org. Welcome to 0:01:46.040 --> 0:01:53.200 us fair, Candice bar and Janita Wall. Hi, guys, So okay, 0:01:52.920 --> 0:01:55.960 I I have been a big fan of Second Saturday forever. 0:01:56.400 --> 0:01:59.360 But let's get a little bit of info about you, 0:01:59.360 --> 0:02:04.200 guys and backstory. What drew you two together? Well, that 0:02:04.360 --> 0:02:09.000 began about thirty two years ago. Janina and I worked 0:02:09.000 --> 0:02:12.919 professionally in the San Diego area, Janita being a CPA 0:02:13.000 --> 0:02:15.880 and a sort of five finance planner, and I owned 0:02:15.919 --> 0:02:18.840 my own investment firm, and we found that we both 0:02:18.880 --> 0:02:23.079 had an interest not only in working professionally with our clients, 0:02:23.080 --> 0:02:27.600 but also in helping women understand more about money and 0:02:27.680 --> 0:02:31.679 going from there, we created the Women's Institute for Financial 0:02:31.760 --> 0:02:36.080 Education because we wanted a nonprofit, non biased way to 0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:39.280 teach women about money. Going from there, we found out 0:02:39.400 --> 0:02:42.239 one of the biggest financial issues that women may ever 0:02:42.360 --> 0:02:46.440 face is going through divorce. So we created a program 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:49.560 for divorce. I love it and we've been running it 0:02:49.600 --> 0:02:52.080 ever since. And I mean the fact that you guys 0:02:52.080 --> 0:02:54.120 started it, that you stuck with it. I'm sure you 0:02:54.160 --> 0:02:58.280 have seen it so many amazing both sad but also 0:02:58.520 --> 0:03:01.239 hugely inspiring story. I spoke a couple of years ago 0:03:01.280 --> 0:03:03.560 at the Women or at Tina Brown's Women in the World, 0:03:03.600 --> 0:03:06.080 and we what the panel that I was on was 0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:09.520 assigned this topic, which is women and financial issues and 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:13.360 how we as women so often kind of abdicate financials 0:03:14.000 --> 0:03:17.960 reponsibility and it doesn't matter what level of wealth you're at. 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:20.160 I've had women come into my office that, you know, 0:03:20.440 --> 0:03:22.880 they could get a table at any restaurant in Los Angeles. 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:26.000 They've got personal shoppers at Neiman Marcus and Barney's when 0:03:26.000 --> 0:03:29.480 it existed, and they're sophisticated and and they say, I 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:33.000 am so embarrassed. I have no idea what our financial 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:36.280 situation is. I know kum laude at at my college, 0:03:36.320 --> 0:03:37.960 and yet I got married and I kind of just 0:03:38.040 --> 0:03:41.280 completely left it to him. And I said, well, the 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:44.080 good becausiness. You're never going to be in the situation again. 0:03:44.120 --> 0:03:46.040 We're going to get you all of that information because, 0:03:46.040 --> 0:03:48.600 as you both know, it's all discoverable as part of 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:53.400 the divorce process and really learn how to become the 0:03:53.440 --> 0:03:57.120 master of your own destiny. Um. And again, it's all relative, 0:03:57.160 --> 0:04:00.120 whether it's those women or men that have lived at 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:01.920 such a high level of wealth, or somebody that says, 0:04:02.360 --> 0:04:03.840 I don't know how I'm going to do this because 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:06.240 if I leave him, I'm going to be living in 0:04:06.280 --> 0:04:08.080 my car, or I'm not going to be able to 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:10.760 have the same kind of an apartment, you know, to 0:04:10.840 --> 0:04:13.280 one bedroom, as opposed to to as opposed to studio. 0:04:13.360 --> 0:04:18.760 So um, Janita, tell us about you. You you went 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:22.600 to Antioch in Ohio. Yes, yes, I went to Antioch 0:04:22.680 --> 0:04:26.560 College and I became a c p A. And then 0:04:26.640 --> 0:04:31.040 in the eighties I became a certified financial planner and 0:04:31.080 --> 0:04:34.240 then I sold my big accounting practice in New Mexico, 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:38.120 and I moved to San Diego, and Candice was the 0:04:38.160 --> 0:04:40.960 second person that I met in San Diego, and we 0:04:41.360 --> 0:04:45.080 really we just started meeting every week and saying, what 0:04:45.160 --> 0:04:48.839 can we do to help the people of San Diego 0:04:48.920 --> 0:04:52.159 and more specifically the women of San Diego, because women 0:04:52.200 --> 0:04:54.520 were really coming into their own in the eighties. They 0:04:54.560 --> 0:04:59.119 were earning paychecks there, they were advancing, but so many 0:04:59.160 --> 0:05:01.440 of them, as you said, and we're leaving the money 0:05:01.480 --> 0:05:05.520 matters up to men. And then when we hit the 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:09.400 financial crisis of the late eighties with the stock market plunge, 0:05:09.960 --> 0:05:13.400 they suddenly went, oh, my gosh, men don't know any 0:05:13.400 --> 0:05:16.080 more about this than we do. They weren't able to 0:05:16.120 --> 0:05:19.840 prevent that, and so we set up wife dot org 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:24.120 to start to start educating women. And then a couple 0:05:24.160 --> 0:05:27.800 of years later, we started Second Saturday and Candice and 0:05:27.839 --> 0:05:32.239 I started that program together. It's Second Saturday, what Women 0:05:32.320 --> 0:05:35.800 Need to Know about Divorce. I've been running it ever since. 0:05:35.880 --> 0:05:39.599 In San Diego. About twenty years ago we added a 0:05:39.640 --> 0:05:44.200 program for men called the Men's Divorce Workshop, and then 0:05:44.240 --> 0:05:48.080 about five years ago we started expanding the program around 0:05:48.120 --> 0:05:51.680 the country and now you guys are online as well. Correct, 0:05:52.800 --> 0:05:57.679 we are as of now, as of the virus days. Yeah, 0:05:57.720 --> 0:06:01.760 that's taken us online. We've always at in person workshops, 0:06:01.760 --> 0:06:05.880 and in person workshops are incredibly valuable where people can 0:06:05.920 --> 0:06:09.400 get together for three or four hours, support each other, 0:06:09.600 --> 0:06:14.839 learned together, really form a community where it's safe to 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:18.880 say what you need to say. And that's not possible 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:21.520 right now. So we've done the next best thing and 0:06:21.600 --> 0:06:25.640 taken it online. Not for four hours, because that would 0:06:25.680 --> 0:06:29.640 be really hard to spend four hours sitting at your computer, 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:34.279 but we've shortened it down and we've empowered our leaders 0:06:34.320 --> 0:06:38.480 around the country to put on the program on a virtual, 0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:44.000 online live setting. I have a question. So both of 0:06:44.040 --> 0:06:48.480 you clearly good at finances, good probably at maths, which 0:06:48.560 --> 0:06:51.440 I never was. I am seeing some schools. I have 0:06:51.680 --> 0:06:53.880 one kid that's in elementary school and one kid that's 0:06:53.920 --> 0:06:57.160 a freshman in high school, and I am seeing schools 0:06:57.160 --> 0:06:59.960 and educators because we're I'm on the board at our school, 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:03.480 and I also obviously speak with many parents and educators 0:07:03.520 --> 0:07:06.920 about what kids go through during divorce. But away from 0:07:06.920 --> 0:07:11.560 that for a moment, I have seen elementary and middle 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:15.760 school kids being divided up by gender to learn math. 0:07:15.880 --> 0:07:18.520 And I have heard that girls, little girls do better 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:21.720 in math classes if boys aren't in there because then 0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:25.040 they feel more comfortable. And I'm I've torn about this, 0:07:25.080 --> 0:07:27.920 but I thought it was really interesting. Any thoughts about that? 0:07:27.960 --> 0:07:30.640 I mean, two women who clearly excelled, or maybe you didn't, 0:07:30.640 --> 0:07:32.760 maybe it came to later in life. I was never 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:34.960 good at math, so I just hire a forensic accountant 0:07:34.960 --> 0:07:37.440 in my cases, or somebody like one of you. What 0:07:37.520 --> 0:07:39.600 do you think about that idea that we actually really 0:07:39.600 --> 0:07:43.600 are wired differently genetically and can do better and perform 0:07:43.680 --> 0:07:46.120 better if we're if we don't have young males in 0:07:46.120 --> 0:07:49.480 the classroom with us. I'll take that. This is Candice. 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:53.600 We saw a series of studies that were conducted a 0:07:53.680 --> 0:07:57.080 number of years ago that showed as girls reach out lessons, 0:07:57.760 --> 0:08:00.960 they begin to dumb down a little bit. It because 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:03.200 they want to impress the boys, they don't want to 0:08:03.280 --> 0:08:08.000 outshine them. So from that standpoint, having two separate classes 0:08:09.520 --> 0:08:13.080 very beneficial. In fact, that's actually what we felt when 0:08:13.080 --> 0:08:16.880 we first started Second Saturday. Having a workshop for women 0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:19.960 only we felt was very valuable, and we see it 0:08:20.000 --> 0:08:23.360 because women aren't afraid to speak up often we defer 0:08:23.600 --> 0:08:26.080 again to men, well, they might know more, they might 0:08:26.120 --> 0:08:29.880 know better. When you're in an all women workshop, you 0:08:29.960 --> 0:08:34.280 get honest communication and there's no fear of being better 0:08:34.360 --> 0:08:38.559 than or worse than somebody else. Interesting, all right, this 0:08:38.640 --> 0:08:41.520 is I think your catch players, which if he wants 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:45.000 to tell me what your catchphrases, a man is not 0:08:45.120 --> 0:08:48.040 a financial plan. I love that. I mean I really did. 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:51.040 I went to cal um and I graduated with so 0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:54.440 many young women who I really enjoyed. And again no judgment, 0:08:54.840 --> 0:08:57.760 but they decided that their plan was going to be 0:08:57.840 --> 0:09:00.480 that they were going to get married to somebody wealthy 0:09:00.480 --> 0:09:02.600 and they were going to be his wife. And if 0:09:02.640 --> 0:09:05.600 there Mrs Degree right, and some of them are doing great, 0:09:05.679 --> 0:09:08.720 and some of them have since divorced and have really realized, 0:09:09.440 --> 0:09:11.760 I mean, even if any big support checks, they've said, 0:09:11.800 --> 0:09:14.680 I'd so envy you. And if I had something to 0:09:14.800 --> 0:09:17.160 tell my twentiesomething year old self, it would be like, 0:09:17.280 --> 0:09:20.680 keep my toe in the work pond, continue to have something. 0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:22.480 Now my kids are at school, I got nothing to 0:09:22.520 --> 0:09:25.520 do all day, and I'm dependent on somebody else for 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:31.280 my finances. That's true. Marrying Prince Charming can really backfire 0:09:31.760 --> 0:09:36.160 when it comes to divorce, because you've probably signed a 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:40.520 prenuptial with Prince Charming that says what's his will be his. 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:44.920 After the divorce, you've given up your earning power. You 0:09:45.160 --> 0:09:49.600 have perhaps accumulated some assets together, but not a lot, 0:09:50.520 --> 0:09:56.240 and your friends who took the career route are much 0:09:56.280 --> 0:09:59.440 better off than you are, even though they're not getting 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:03.720 those big support checks. Sometimes we're paying the big support checks. Actually, 0:10:03.760 --> 0:10:07.559 that's frustrating to yes, Canadice, and I'd like to speak 0:10:07.559 --> 0:10:09.520 to that from a standpoint of somebody who's been married 0:10:09.520 --> 0:10:13.400 for more than forty years. We manage money together, but 0:10:13.520 --> 0:10:17.319 we also manage money separately because it's important, in my opinion, 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:21.000 to be a partner, not a dependent. We also, in 0:10:21.080 --> 0:10:24.199 my career as a financial advisor working with people over 0:10:24.240 --> 0:10:26.680 the years, I've seen it where it's the opposite. The 0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:30.000 man is completely dependent on the woman. But what happens 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:33.000 if somebody passes away. Even if you remain married for 0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:36.320 the rest of your life, you need to understand what 0:10:36.559 --> 0:10:38.960 is going on and have a foot in it. You 0:10:39.000 --> 0:10:41.280 don't have to do everything, but you do need to 0:10:41.320 --> 0:10:47.600 be able to ask the right questions. Absolutely so, just 0:10:47.640 --> 0:10:50.440 by the way for our listeners. Wife dot org was 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:53.679 recently named one of the top five hundred financial sites 0:10:53.760 --> 0:10:57.400 by Online Investor. And you guys are the oldest nonprofit 0:10:57.520 --> 0:11:01.560 organization dedicated to providing financial education to women in their 0:11:01.640 --> 0:11:04.840 quest for financial independence. Because as they, as the ladies 0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:08.840 told us, they founded in a nine Okay, now, some 0:11:08.960 --> 0:11:12.480 questions about Second Saturday, which really is our topical for 0:11:12.600 --> 0:11:16.040 what we do here on All's fair? Um, Candice tell 0:11:16.160 --> 0:11:19.160 us what actually is Second Saturday and how is it 0:11:19.200 --> 0:11:23.480 helpful to women? Particularly? So as Janine and I worked together, 0:11:23.960 --> 0:11:27.120 we began to see that women needed to have the 0:11:27.200 --> 0:11:30.920 information about divorce. Divorce can be one of the largest 0:11:30.960 --> 0:11:34.440 financial transaction that a woman ever goes through, and you 0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:38.520 need to go through divorce in a rational logical way. 0:11:38.800 --> 0:11:42.080 Who are the farthest thing from being rational logic? So 0:11:42.200 --> 0:11:45.000 Janina said, how can we begin to work and help 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:49.680 people to understand what divorce is because frankly, if you're 0:11:50.240 --> 0:11:54.079 contemplating divorce or in the earliest stages, that's the best 0:11:54.080 --> 0:11:56.920 time to figure out what you need to know. So 0:11:57.200 --> 0:12:01.520 Second Saturday is a workshop. We began it or more 0:12:01.559 --> 0:12:05.280 than thirty one years ago in San Diego, um. It 0:12:05.360 --> 0:12:10.199 covers the three major actually three and a half major 0:12:10.520 --> 0:12:13.520 areas in divorce. We go over the legal We typically 0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:16.319 have an attorney that speaks about the legal things. Can 0:12:16.400 --> 0:12:20.000 you do divorce yourself? How does divorce work? What is 0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:23.600 a litigated divorce? What are the processes that you go through? 0:12:23.640 --> 0:12:27.080 How much does it cost? Janita typically does the financial 0:12:27.679 --> 0:12:30.080 What happens to if if you want to stay in 0:12:30.120 --> 0:12:33.000 the house, can you divide the house? Can you should 0:12:33.000 --> 0:12:35.640 you sell the house? What about pension plans? We have 0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:39.640 a therapist talk about family, how to go through divorce 0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:43.640 in a in a reasonable and comfortable way, to make 0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:46.080 sure that your children are okay. And then we also 0:12:46.120 --> 0:12:50.200 talk about mediation. Our goal with Second Saturday is to 0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:54.880 give people the information that they need in a compassionate 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:58.720 and comfortable arena where they can talk with other people. 0:12:59.080 --> 0:13:02.440 And here from the experts, our goal is not to 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:05.080 do the divorce for them. It's to give them the 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:10.400 resources that they need to have, including again what you've 0:13:10.400 --> 0:13:13.120 been doing, Laura, as an option for people who feel 0:13:13.160 --> 0:13:17.280 they want to go through divorce themselves. Amazing again, and 0:13:17.360 --> 0:13:21.400 so much of this really is just about feeling there's 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:23.400 somebody there at the other end of the line, or 0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:26.680 to go, you know, speak with as Janita said, in person, 0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:29.880 is definitely better if possible. But just knowing that there's 0:13:29.920 --> 0:13:32.320 a community, that there's a safe place that people have 0:13:32.400 --> 0:13:35.959 been through before, divorce can be so isolating you feel 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:40.200 scared and lonely. I've had people of all ages say 0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:41.679 I feel like I'm a failure. I just feel like 0:13:41.720 --> 0:13:43.600 I feel that that's so having, as you said, other 0:13:43.640 --> 0:13:46.000 people around who are not judging, who can who have 0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:49.400 either been through it or going through it, super super helpful. 0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:52.560 Janita tell us a little bit more about what Second 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:54.760 Saturday offers. By the way, I've spoken at some of 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:57.880 the ones at the Beverly Hills location on Saturdays, and 0:13:58.040 --> 0:14:01.679 my partner Samantha Client has as well, and the way 0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:06.520 that these women approach it and the appreciation is nothing 0:14:06.559 --> 0:14:08.600 feels better. I mean, any kind of pro bono stuff 0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:10.559 that I've done has always been huge, But really, I 0:14:11.559 --> 0:14:13.680 thank you both from the bottom of my heart for 0:14:13.760 --> 0:14:17.040 coming up with this, because I see at any level 0:14:17.040 --> 0:14:21.080 of wealth, how unbelievably scary it can be, and just 0:14:21.160 --> 0:14:24.360 having those workshops to go to is huge. But I 0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:27.040 I started talking over my own question tell us a 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:30.680 little bit about what you guys offer at these Second Saturdays, please, 0:14:30.920 --> 0:14:33.960 I'd be I'd be happy to you know I What 0:14:34.040 --> 0:14:39.080 you said is absolutely correct, and what Second Saturday offers 0:14:39.200 --> 0:14:43.920 people more than anything else is a really solid place 0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:48.640 to stand because people know what they'd be getting out of. 0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:51.160 What they're not really sure of is what they'd be 0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:55.440 getting into. And I know that you're an attorney, but 0:14:55.520 --> 0:14:58.800 when you get right down to it, divorce isn't about 0:14:58.840 --> 0:15:02.680 the law. Divorce. This is about family, It's about emotion, 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:07.760 and it's about money, and it's very very scary. People 0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:12.600 are uncertain of what happens next. We give them the 0:15:12.680 --> 0:15:17.880 information that they need to start making decisions. We get 0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:21.680 the uncertainty as much as we can out of their 0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:26.480 lives so that they can take the steps forward, whatever 0:15:26.520 --> 0:15:29.880 steps those are for them. As Candace said, we talk 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:34.280 about the legal, the emotional, the financial aspects of divorce, 0:15:34.800 --> 0:15:38.280 ways to get things settled without going to court. And 0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:42.480 you know what, very often people leave going like, oh 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:46.080 my gosh, I thought divorce was a solution, but it's 0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:49.160 just a whole another set of problems. I'm going to 0:15:49.280 --> 0:15:52.880 go home and work on my marriage. And they do absolutely. 0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:56.680 I see that too. Usually that realization doesn't come until 0:15:56.680 --> 0:16:01.040 I tell them what my retainer payment will be. But no, 0:16:01.200 --> 0:16:04.320 it's happening absolutely to people. I don't know that this 0:16:04.400 --> 0:16:06.640 is the norm, but that they find this freedom and 0:16:06.680 --> 0:16:08.720 it will be so much easier. It's hard, it's hard 0:16:08.760 --> 0:16:11.200 to get divorced, it's hard to stay married. You have 0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:13.200 to really decide what you want. And I think having 0:16:13.200 --> 0:16:17.040 a safe environment again with experience, people who have been 0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:21.400 through it who can give different perspectives, is huge. I 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:24.720 see in my notes that UM the Flagship San Diego 0:16:24.760 --> 0:16:27.920 Workshop has helped over ten thousand women and that you've 0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:30.640 raised over four hundred thousand dollars for the San Diego 0:16:30.720 --> 0:16:34.320 community in the form scholarships and educational programs. How do 0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:36.760 you raise the funds? I know the second Saturday workshops 0:16:36.880 --> 0:16:40.120 are either low cost or no cost. Correct, that's right. 0:16:40.640 --> 0:16:44.520 It's forty five dollars for a workshop and that price 0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:47.440 has remained the same over the last thirty five years, 0:16:47.480 --> 0:16:49.840 so or thirty years, so you know, yeah, you know 0:16:49.880 --> 0:16:52.720 how much that is relative to getting on the legal 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:57.360 train there and we then go through miracast to college. 0:16:57.520 --> 0:17:02.480 We give one third back to the community through scholarships 0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:05.400 and through other educational programs. We give one third back 0:17:05.440 --> 0:17:08.879 to Miracles to College and one third goes to fund 0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:14.360 our nonprofit Women's Institute for Financial Education. And you mentioned 0:17:14.440 --> 0:17:16.720 our acronym is wife dot org. I want to share 0:17:16.720 --> 0:17:18.760 a little bit we we came up with that concept 0:17:18.760 --> 0:17:21.480 a number of years ago in terms of every woman 0:17:21.560 --> 0:17:25.040 needs a wife. We've heard Glorious Steinham say that, And 0:17:25.040 --> 0:17:28.720 what we want to be for all women is that support, 0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:33.280 that sounding board, that partner to move them from fear, 0:17:33.560 --> 0:17:36.560 especially as they are going through divorce, to help them 0:17:36.600 --> 0:17:40.520 be more focused, to be determined, to be hopeful, and 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:43.640 really finally to be empowered to make the decisions they 0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:46.639 need to make to make the best best choices for 0:17:46.680 --> 0:17:49.720 their family. So true, God, I need a wife. I 0:17:49.760 --> 0:17:51.560 thought Johnny was going to be my wife, but he 0:17:51.640 --> 0:17:54.000 decided to be somebody else's has more more of a 0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:57.280 side check. Yes, I've got a question for you, ladies 0:17:57.359 --> 0:17:59.560 in the post me too. You know of it all 0:17:59.680 --> 0:18:03.960 in the creation of your men's group. I'm just curious 0:18:04.000 --> 0:18:06.280 to know if you have noticed any differences in in 0:18:06.359 --> 0:18:09.280 the needs or the questions that come from the men's side. 0:18:09.400 --> 0:18:12.400 The male side of this conversation versus what you're hearing 0:18:12.440 --> 0:18:16.280 now in the female conversation post me too. Yeah. Absolutely. 0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:19.800 The men's workshop is so different from the women's workshop. 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:24.359 First of all, there's fewer people there because men don't 0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:28.080 tend to gather in groups and talk about things together. 0:18:28.760 --> 0:18:31.480 We also can't find it because they won't ask for directions. 0:18:33.119 --> 0:18:36.680 I'm not going to touch that one anyway. They've got 0:18:36.680 --> 0:18:40.960 our GPS. So anyway, in the in the women's one, 0:18:41.400 --> 0:18:43.680 you know, the women come in, they don't know each other, 0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:47.200 but by the time we have the first break there 0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:51.119 on a first name basis, they've been they know about 0:18:51.160 --> 0:18:55.480 each other. By the time the workshop is over, there 0:18:55.560 --> 0:18:58.679 leaving together to go have lunch with people that they 0:18:58.720 --> 0:19:02.000 didn't know coming in who are now their new best friends. 0:19:02.880 --> 0:19:07.720 And there's just a camaraderie there that that isn't present 0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:11.600 by and large in the men's workshop. In the men's workshop, 0:19:12.160 --> 0:19:16.720 the you could not have done a mathematical equation that 0:19:16.800 --> 0:19:20.160 would have gotten the men sitting in this room further 0:19:20.280 --> 0:19:24.359 away from each other. That's for starters, and then during 0:19:24.400 --> 0:19:27.720 the breaks, they're all turned away from each other with 0:19:27.760 --> 0:19:30.359 their backs to each other, talking on their cell phones 0:19:30.680 --> 0:19:34.000 or looking at their cell phones. Yet the interaction there 0:19:34.640 --> 0:19:38.399 is is not as as great as at the Women's 0:19:38.520 --> 0:19:42.359 As for the questions, the questions are very similar, that 0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:45.800 issues are very similar. And what we find a lot 0:19:45.920 --> 0:19:50.360 in our women's workshop is that there's plenty of women who, 0:19:50.440 --> 0:19:53.960 as you were saying, are paying alimony or faced with 0:19:54.080 --> 0:19:57.560 paying alimony. There's plenty of women who have the career 0:19:58.000 --> 0:19:59.880 and how long am I going to need to sup 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:04.280 court my soon to be ex husband? So the issues 0:20:04.400 --> 0:20:08.280 are the same, and and and of course there's issues 0:20:08.600 --> 0:20:12.719 because in divorce, at best, you're going to end up 0:20:12.760 --> 0:20:16.040 with only half of what you had before. And that's 0:20:16.280 --> 0:20:20.000 the whatever is left after legal cost that's going to 0:20:20.080 --> 0:20:25.320 be divided in half, and that can be a problem. Absolutely. 0:20:26.640 --> 0:20:29.960 Um to our listeners, ladies, what other states, cities and 0:20:30.000 --> 0:20:31.879 states here and now? As I said, in addition to 0:20:31.920 --> 0:20:34.800 San Diego, obviously there is one in Los Angeles, Beverly Hills. 0:20:35.080 --> 0:20:37.879 Where else have you kind of expanded to so that 0:20:37.920 --> 0:20:42.720 they can come find you? So they can anybody who 0:20:42.760 --> 0:20:45.639 may be looking for a Second Saturday in their area 0:20:45.760 --> 0:20:48.840 can go to Second Saturday dot com and they'll be 0:20:48.880 --> 0:20:53.199 able to find where a local Second Saturday is and 0:20:53.280 --> 0:20:57.840 this is really important because there's the list are different 0:20:57.880 --> 0:21:00.240 in each state, so you really do want to have 0:21:00.440 --> 0:21:04.199 the information that is in your local area. And we 0:21:04.280 --> 0:21:09.359 now have more than one hundred twenty locations around the country, 0:21:09.440 --> 0:21:13.040 including the Los Angeles areas you said, the Beverly Hills area, 0:21:13.600 --> 0:21:17.400 UM Northern California, a lot on the East Coast, all 0:21:17.440 --> 0:21:21.359 around the country. We are very very careful to fet 0:21:21.400 --> 0:21:25.520 the people that we allow to run our Second Saturday programs. 0:21:26.560 --> 0:21:30.080 Janita and I have worked out over the years figured 0:21:30.119 --> 0:21:34.240 out a way to provide the content that we give 0:21:34.280 --> 0:21:37.480 to the people here in San Diego. To the other 0:21:37.640 --> 0:21:41.040 leaders that we have. They're highly qualified, and one of 0:21:41.080 --> 0:21:45.040 the things that really really resonates is that most of 0:21:45.080 --> 0:21:49.240 them have had experience with divorce, either their parents perhaps 0:21:49.280 --> 0:21:53.760 got divorced there, or perhaps they've experienced it themselves or 0:21:53.760 --> 0:21:58.200 their siblings, so they've had a personal act. So they're 0:21:58.200 --> 0:22:02.280 not just professionals in their field, high qualified, certified financial 0:22:02.280 --> 0:22:05.800 advisors or attorneys, but there are people who are compassionate 0:22:05.840 --> 0:22:11.520 and want to help AM Now, as a result of 0:22:11.600 --> 0:22:16.679 COVID nineteen, have you guys expanded to those of us 0:22:16.720 --> 0:22:18.760 who can't, well, all of us that can't leave the 0:22:18.800 --> 0:22:22.639 house during this time period. Yeah, it's very interesting times 0:22:22.640 --> 0:22:25.439 because we're all in this together. We're all in the 0:22:25.520 --> 0:22:29.080 same boat. And yes, we had our first and our 0:22:29.119 --> 0:22:34.639 first of many uh second Saturday workshops online this past Saturday. 0:22:34.840 --> 0:22:37.159 And I talked to a woman this morning who was 0:22:37.359 --> 0:22:40.520 on that call on Saturday. It was a zoom call, 0:22:41.160 --> 0:22:45.520 and she was so incredibly grateful to be able to 0:22:45.560 --> 0:22:48.800 get some information. She and her husband have been having 0:22:48.840 --> 0:22:54.000 marital issues. They're now separated. She's living in Hawaii, and 0:22:54.720 --> 0:22:57.600 she was like, I didn't know where to start. I'm 0:22:57.640 --> 0:23:01.040 ready to start a divorce and I didn't know what 0:23:01.160 --> 0:23:03.399 to do. And then I found out from a friend 0:23:03.800 --> 0:23:06.960 about this workshop that you were having online. She says it, 0:23:07.600 --> 0:23:10.880 before I was just floating. Now I really feel like 0:23:10.960 --> 0:23:14.560 I have some direction and I can take that direction. 0:23:14.680 --> 0:23:20.040 Once this COVID nineteen lockdown is complete, then I'll be 0:23:20.080 --> 0:23:23.640 able to move forward with some certainty in my life 0:23:23.640 --> 0:23:27.639 because we're all dealing with uncertainty and divorce. How's this 0:23:27.720 --> 0:23:30.240 going to Where is this going to end? We're dealing 0:23:30.240 --> 0:23:34.720 with uncertainty because of COVID nineteen, and where do we 0:23:34.760 --> 0:23:38.280 ever get out of the house again, and the courts 0:23:38.320 --> 0:23:42.440 are closed in many jurisdictions, so there's nothing you can do. 0:23:42.680 --> 0:23:47.399 It's it's paralyzing, and we're able to give people hope 0:23:47.520 --> 0:23:51.520 and looking forward to the future by being online. And 0:23:51.560 --> 0:23:54.440 I think that that's really a wave of the future, 0:23:54.600 --> 0:23:57.800