WEBVTT - Vicky Christina Madelyn Cline 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:01.800 Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and 0:00:01.880 --> 0:00:05.000 Mighty Tour. In August, you can find me in Red Bank, 0:00:05.080 --> 0:00:09.119 New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, and Calgary that's Canada. And 0:00:09.200 --> 0:00:12.239 September I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego, New 0:00:12.320 --> 0:00:21.599 York City, Philly, and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise, 0:00:21.760 --> 0:00:25.159 Idaho and Spokane. And then in November I'll be in 0:00:25.200 --> 0:00:28.480 San Francisco. I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston, 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:31.960 Dallas Babies, I'll be there. And then in December I 0:00:31.960 --> 0:00:35.440 am closing out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So 0:00:35.640 --> 0:00:38.520 get your tickets at Chelseahandler dot com for the High 0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:42.880 and Mighty Tour. Hello Catherine, Hi, Chelsea. 0:00:42.920 --> 0:00:44.239 Are you fluent in Spanish yet? 0:00:44.720 --> 0:00:47.640 I am doing pretty well. I mean, my driver in 0:00:47.720 --> 0:00:50.839 New York's named Rafa and he speaks Spanish and he 0:00:51.080 --> 0:00:54.200 cannot believe how much I've improved in two weeks. 0:00:54.480 --> 0:00:55.320 Oh fantastic. 0:00:55.480 --> 0:00:57.560 Yeah, he didn't know I went to school in Spain, 0:00:57.800 --> 0:01:01.360 so I told him in Spanish and he was like, 0:01:01.640 --> 0:01:03.160 and then he started and then He's like, oh my god, 0:01:03.160 --> 0:01:04.560 I'm not gonna be able to correct you anymore. And 0:01:04.560 --> 0:01:06.200 I'm like, oh, don't worry, You'll find a fucking way 0:01:06.480 --> 0:01:08.720 and then of course within it. But yeah, he was 0:01:08.720 --> 0:01:11.960 really impressed. And also a couple of people I work 0:01:12.040 --> 0:01:14.880 with where I was talking Spanish with, so I definitely 0:01:15.040 --> 0:01:18.399 understand a lot more and I know a lot more. 0:01:18.880 --> 0:01:22.240 I'm not fluent, but I am definitely way better than 0:01:22.280 --> 0:01:24.800 I was when I out there. So that's exciting. 0:01:25.000 --> 0:01:27.160 I notice you've been improving with your like low and 0:01:27.280 --> 0:01:29.200 lot like the I think it's the possessive stuff. 0:01:29.760 --> 0:01:30.760 I mean, you're crushing it. 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:33.720 I just I loved my time alone. It felt like 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:35.800 I was a mother away from her children, even though 0:01:35.800 --> 0:01:38.640 I don't have children. I just walked to school every 0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:42.400 day by myself with my little rucksack. And then I mean, 0:01:42.440 --> 0:01:44.039 I don't have a rucksack, but I just wanted to 0:01:44.040 --> 0:01:46.360 throw that out there. And then I already had like 0:01:46.400 --> 0:01:49.320 a group of doctors. By day three, I was getting 0:01:49.320 --> 0:01:51.640 a massage and then I was like, oh, I need 0:01:51.680 --> 0:01:53.800 to get this kind of dry needling they had this. 0:01:54.160 --> 0:01:56.600 Madrid is such a beautiful city. So many of my 0:01:56.640 --> 0:02:00.240 friends were coming through Madrid unbeknownst to me, so that 0:02:00.360 --> 0:02:03.200 was a surprise. I'd go to school for three hours, 0:02:03.520 --> 0:02:07.960 my teacher only, my professora only spoke Spanish, and then 0:02:08.240 --> 0:02:12.000 after that I would take myself to some ridiculously delightful lunch, 0:02:12.560 --> 0:02:16.000 have like two glasses of wine, and then I'd walk 0:02:16.080 --> 0:02:19.320 through the streets of Madrid. It was heaven on earth. 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:22.200 How lovely You're just like, fill your life with whimsy's. 0:02:22.440 --> 0:02:25.480 I just loved it. I just was so happy. Everyone 0:02:25.480 --> 0:02:27.880 at the hotel was like they kept testing me on 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:30.920 my Spanish day three, day four, and I was like 0:02:30.960 --> 0:02:33.680 Eloise at the plaza. I just was like, I was 0:02:33.720 --> 0:02:37.680 just so happy. I love I just belong in a hotel. 0:02:38.800 --> 0:02:39.160 Aha. 0:02:39.480 --> 0:02:41.480 I agree with that. How did your blind date go? 0:02:41.600 --> 0:02:43.280 By the way, did that materialize? 0:02:43.360 --> 0:02:44.720 I don't think I went on a blind date. 0:02:44.800 --> 0:02:44.840 No. 0:02:45.000 --> 0:02:47.520 I was set up with people like friends, not like 0:02:47.639 --> 0:02:48.840 in a romantic matter. 0:02:49.280 --> 0:02:49.440 No. 0:02:49.600 --> 0:02:52.519 I didn't even think about men. Honestly. There was one 0:02:52.520 --> 0:02:54.560 guy that was trying to hit on me once. I 0:02:54.639 --> 0:02:57.480 was in the bar at my restaurant and I was like, 0:02:57.560 --> 0:03:00.160 is this guy hitting and he was. I mean, he's 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:02.440 to have been twenty years old and he was like seriously 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:04.760 trying to stray, and I was like, I was like, 0:03:04.919 --> 0:03:07.440 at one point I wanted to go. I meant to say, 0:03:07.480 --> 0:03:10.960 like not signor but whatever the other word for it 0:03:11.040 --> 0:03:13.360 is in Spanish, but I couldn't think of what it was. 0:03:13.840 --> 0:03:16.160 I was about to call him like boy, and then 0:03:16.160 --> 0:03:18.360 I'm like, don't call him boy. That's not right either. 0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:20.440 But I wanted to be like, I could be your mother. 0:03:20.520 --> 0:03:23.040 Get away from me. I'm not interested in that. I 0:03:23.160 --> 0:03:25.520 like young boys, I mean not, I like young men. 0:03:25.560 --> 0:03:27.760 I don't. I don't like young boys, you know what 0:03:27.760 --> 0:03:30.480 I mean? Like, it's got to be something like in 0:03:30.520 --> 0:03:34.400 the appropriate ag urge. Not interested anyway. I'm home now, 0:03:34.440 --> 0:03:36.640 I'm in New York City and we have a great 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:41.560 episode today. You know this actress, she was adorable from 0:03:41.560 --> 0:03:44.800 Glass Onions, Stranger Things, and her hit series which is 0:03:44.840 --> 0:03:48.960 now in its final season, Outer Banks. Please welcome Madeline Kleine. 0:03:49.640 --> 0:03:53.400 Oh my god, we have Madeline Klein here today. Hi, Cutie, ptuity, 0:03:53.400 --> 0:03:56.000 fresh and fruity. What were you talking about? You're talking 0:03:56.000 --> 0:03:56.800 about snowboarding? 0:03:56.960 --> 0:04:00.400 Yeah so, I so we were talking about how wake 0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:03.040 poarding makes you feel like you can absolutely snowboard because 0:04:03.080 --> 0:04:04.320 it's kind of the same thing. 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:08.080 Yes, I understand this. Yes, I had a very easy 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:10.160 time wagsurfing the very first time I did it. I 0:04:10.200 --> 0:04:11.960 think I got up on the first time I did too. 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:15.680 Have you been water skiing? No, okay, that's much more hard. 0:04:15.800 --> 0:04:16.680 That's much more. 0:04:16.520 --> 0:04:18.640 Difficult, especially when they do it on like the one ski. 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:19.920 Yeah, I can't do that. 0:04:19.920 --> 0:04:20.640 That's insane. 0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:23.279 I can't water ski period. And I can snow ski 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:24.599 really well, but I can't water ski. 0:04:24.680 --> 0:04:26.440 I just know I would wipe out and like break 0:04:26.480 --> 0:04:27.560 every bone in my face. 0:04:27.680 --> 0:04:30.280 It feels like if one of your legs goes in 0:04:30.320 --> 0:04:33.239 the wrong direction, all your dog breaks. Oh you're great, 0:04:33.400 --> 0:04:35.520 and it does, it does. It's not pretty where you 0:04:35.520 --> 0:04:36.039 wipe out. 0:04:36.240 --> 0:04:40.960 No, So I went snowbarning for my birthday in twenty 0:04:41.200 --> 0:04:43.080 twenty one, I think. 0:04:43.680 --> 0:04:48.320 And I like the way you said twenty one twenty one. 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:50.840 Thank you. 0:04:51.200 --> 0:04:54.400 It's Christian. I'm trying to enunciate more because a lot 0:04:54.440 --> 0:04:57.680 of times I just so, I've been on I've been 0:04:57.720 --> 0:05:00.960 on like red carpet interviews, and I go back and 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:04.360 I rewatch it and I'm like, I sound so drunk, 0:05:04.440 --> 0:05:06.320 and then I'll like, look at the comments and they're like, oh, 0:05:06.320 --> 0:05:09.960 our girls gone, and I'm like, I really wasn't maybe 0:05:10.040 --> 0:05:12.720 had a glass or two before that gone. 0:05:12.880 --> 0:05:15.400 Sometimes I'll record a stand up set that I'm doing 0:05:15.440 --> 0:05:18.120 and I always have a drink before I go on stage, obviously, 0:05:18.200 --> 0:05:20.560 and I yeah, of course, and I then I look 0:05:20.680 --> 0:05:22.599 and then I'll watch it and think and like I'll 0:05:22.600 --> 0:05:25.760 be like, oh, clip that for socials to my social team, 0:05:26.200 --> 0:05:27.720 and then they'll send it to me and I'm like, 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:29.880 oh my, I'm like, look for this area when I'm 0:05:29.880 --> 0:05:32.960 talking about this, and I'm like, my god. But there's 0:05:33.080 --> 0:05:35.680 just like an as soon as yeah, because if I 0:05:35.680 --> 0:05:37.360 don't have a drink, I talk too fast, I talk 0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:40.400 like this, I have to take it down. 0:05:40.920 --> 0:05:42.760 Yeah, if I don't, if I don't have a drink 0:05:42.880 --> 0:05:44.800 or beta blocker bone. 0:05:44.520 --> 0:05:46.760 Right or beta blacker, I take beta blackers as well. 0:05:46.839 --> 0:05:49.800 I get so scared and so anxious and I'm like 0:05:50.160 --> 0:05:52.760 and then I'm like what I'm saying is so stupid. 0:05:53.360 --> 0:05:56.160 And then I just to. 0:05:56.120 --> 0:06:01.400 Be fair, some of those questions are stupid. 0:05:58.480 --> 0:05:58.560 Like. 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:02.440 Who are you wearing? That's the stupid question. 0:06:02.680 --> 0:06:03.640 I know. I hate that. 0:06:03.760 --> 0:06:05.600 It's like why do also have to talk about that? 0:06:05.680 --> 0:06:06.200 Who cares. 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:11.080 I mean, well, I mean some people, the designer does care, 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:14.400 so that's for their but like sometimes it's just not 0:06:15.080 --> 0:06:17.520 I don't know, it doesn't always feel like an appropriate question. 0:06:17.400 --> 0:06:19.920 No, because it's like the designer obviously does care, but 0:06:20.080 --> 0:06:22.640 like for the majority of the people watching, I don't 0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:24.720 think it's really like the most. 0:06:24.560 --> 0:06:27.400 Most important thing. And also when we post it, you 0:06:27.440 --> 0:06:30.440 give credit to who you're wearing. Anyway, it's just a 0:06:30.480 --> 0:06:31.640 silly conversation to have. 0:06:31.720 --> 0:06:33.799 I agree, it's like also a really weird opener. 0:06:36.120 --> 0:06:40.320 And then you're away. It's my wedding, obviously I'm wearing 0:06:40.440 --> 0:06:43.000 You're away. I've been married multiple times, oh my god, 0:06:43.560 --> 0:06:47.280 yeah seven seven. I've never been married. Oh and I 0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:48.320 will never be married. 0:06:48.360 --> 0:06:49.719 I think that's chic. I know. 0:06:50.080 --> 0:06:52.480 I think it would be cute to get engaged, yeah, 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:55.800 and just stay engaged and keep having engagement parties. 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:58.000 I'm just like, just give me the fucking ring. 0:06:58.279 --> 0:07:00.240 But do you need the ring from some man? I mean, 0:07:00.279 --> 0:07:01.240 can't you buy your own ring? 0:07:01.360 --> 0:07:03.200 Yeah, but I don't really feel like paying for it. 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:05.000 If he will, right, okay, I copy you know what 0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:05.400 I mean. 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:09.760 Then I can go some of my money like another ring. 0:07:11.720 --> 0:07:13.800 You've never been married. You're too young to be married. 0:07:13.920 --> 0:07:14.840 I've never been old for you. 0:07:15.040 --> 0:07:17.480 Twenty eight, twenty eight, okay, that's not too young. 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:21.840 To the other day, so well, someone asked me my age, 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:26.720 and I was like, twenty six or twenty seven. Wait, 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:31.200 I don't know. 0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:33.640 Did you forget or you just oh, you did. 0:07:33.640 --> 0:07:37.240 Genuinely forgot, And I'm not even I'm neither twenty six 0:07:37.320 --> 0:07:40.200 nor my twenty seven. I'm actually twenty eighty eight. But 0:07:40.240 --> 0:07:42.440 I actually forgot, and I had to go and do 0:07:42.520 --> 0:07:44.600 the math because I just did you. 0:07:44.600 --> 0:07:49.040 Do the math? You went and I came. You went 0:07:49.080 --> 0:07:50.960 back to the you were born and counted back. 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:58.360 Seven eight and I went one hundred. I just genuinely 0:07:58.480 --> 0:08:03.440 stopped caring. I think about which birthday it was after 0:08:03.560 --> 0:08:05.160 twenty five, twenty fifth. 0:08:05.280 --> 0:08:07.920 Yeah, well you'll care again at thirty, and then thirty 0:08:07.960 --> 0:08:09.000 five and then forty. 0:08:09.080 --> 0:08:10.160 I'm excited about thirty. 0:08:10.200 --> 0:08:13.040 It's gonna get better and better and better, so you 0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:15.600 have nothing to worry about. Life gets better as a woman. 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:19.360 The more experience you have being a woman, the better 0:08:19.440 --> 0:08:20.120 it gets. 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:22.560 Like the closer I get to thirty is I can 0:08:22.720 --> 0:08:27.520 feel my court is all dropping. It's awesome. I'm like, okay, great, 0:08:27.560 --> 0:08:28.840 I'm getting less stressed. 0:08:29.280 --> 0:08:31.320 That's a good I'm mad for something. 0:08:31.120 --> 0:08:35.160 Making it for a day to block. I really I 0:08:35.280 --> 0:08:37.280 really need to, Like I need to invent something. I 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:39.920 need to invent a brand. Maybe I can do something. 0:08:40.679 --> 0:08:41.640 Maybe that's my ad. 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:44.800 Yeah, yeah, that's a good tagline for whatever your ad is. 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:47.080 The closer I get to thirty, I can feel the 0:08:47.080 --> 0:08:47.920 cord is all dropping. 0:08:48.000 --> 0:08:51.120 Yeah, so I'm like, well, then I wonder how thirties 0:08:51.120 --> 0:08:53.160 are gonna I'm gonna have zero cord is all at all. 0:08:53.480 --> 0:08:55.240 That's the thing like, as you age, you kind of 0:08:55.240 --> 0:08:56.880 like care less about what other people think. 0:08:56.920 --> 0:08:59.280 You become more of yourself and I think they're awesome. 0:08:59.400 --> 0:09:00.719 You have to take an active role in that a 0:09:00.760 --> 0:09:02.760 little bit too, But I think it also just happens 0:09:02.760 --> 0:09:03.400 as you age. 0:09:03.480 --> 0:09:06.040 So are you a millennial or No, You're not a millennial, 0:09:06.040 --> 0:09:06.520 You're gen Z. 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:09.960 I'm like a millennial gen Z cuss cusp. Yeah, so 0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:12.800 but I feel like I am technically gen Z. But 0:09:12.840 --> 0:09:16.280 I feel like sometimes I do millennial things like the 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:20.840 millennial pause that everyone like flames millennials for doing, like 0:09:20.840 --> 0:09:23.200 like when you go on Cameo and you get a 0:09:23.240 --> 0:09:26.280 cameo from like Jax Taylor, and he's like, you can 0:09:26.320 --> 0:09:27.800 tell he like. 0:09:29.360 --> 0:09:30.280 Not that you've done that. 0:09:30.640 --> 0:09:35.319 No, I have it, but I've seen someone else's and 0:09:35.320 --> 0:09:37.800 and he like is recording and it's like literally three 0:09:37.880 --> 0:09:41.679 seconds where he's just waiting for it to start. Oh, 0:09:42.240 --> 0:09:45.520 I have I have done that. It's embarrassing. I did 0:09:45.600 --> 0:09:47.960 get a cameo from Boston rob. 0:09:48.280 --> 0:09:51.120 I've never gotten a cameo for someone. Yeah, but people 0:09:51.200 --> 0:09:52.439 seem to like that as a gift. 0:09:52.520 --> 0:09:54.480 It's it's really funny. I think as a gag gift. 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:57.520 Yeah, absolutely, not as a serious gift, no, like an 0:09:57.559 --> 0:10:00.240 ironic yeah, because usually the people who are giving you're 0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:02.320 providing the cameos, are you know. 0:10:02.320 --> 0:10:04.280 They're it's the Jacks Taylor's of the world. 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:08.120 Yeah, yeah, I mean no, it's that's not gonna sound good. However, 0:10:08.160 --> 0:10:10.040 I try to clean up, so never mind, I'll just 0:10:10.040 --> 0:10:15.920 step right go rotten hail. Anyway, sign up for cameo. 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:20.479 Everybody get a cameo, get a cameo account, or maybe. 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:22.760 Maybe we could do a one for someone together, you 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:23.080 and me. 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:24.360 I would love to do they can. 0:10:24.280 --> 0:10:25.200 Do one for Boston Rott. 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:30.240 Wish we should create the next level of cameos cameo 0:10:30.240 --> 0:10:32.760 plus for more legitimate. 0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:38.319 People, it's like Ryan for cameo cameo exactly. 0:10:39.040 --> 0:10:41.520 What is your biggest dating deal breaker? 0:10:42.280 --> 0:10:45.840 I feel like sometimes when you're in a relationship with someone, 0:10:45.920 --> 0:10:47.960 especially when it's new, I'm like, I'm always like I 0:10:47.960 --> 0:10:50.240 feel like I'm being pranked because there's like you hit 0:10:50.280 --> 0:10:51.959 like a certain month mark and all of a sudden 0:10:51.960 --> 0:10:53.480 they start being mean or. 0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:57.040 They start being real. Yeah, right, you start to see 0:10:57.080 --> 0:10:59.360 them like they're real. Do you think that month mark 0:10:59.480 --> 0:11:00.000 is how many? 0:11:00.320 --> 0:11:02.200 I feel like it's like it's always been kind of 0:11:02.240 --> 0:11:04.800 like three for me. Yeah, if I even make it 0:11:04.800 --> 0:11:08.400 that far, like because I feel like I'm always away 0:11:08.800 --> 0:11:11.400 like on right working, so I feel like it usually 0:11:11.400 --> 0:11:12.800 expedites that process. 0:11:13.440 --> 0:11:17.199 Yes, well, I feel like it's kind of similarly. I 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:20.640 also date like a lot of long distance people, so 0:11:20.960 --> 0:11:23.080 it takes longer to get to that three month mark. 0:11:23.120 --> 0:11:25.800 So it usually happens around the five or six month mark. True, 0:11:25.960 --> 0:11:28.560 where you start to see more than you saw in 0:11:28.600 --> 0:11:31.440 the beginning, totally, where it's not all sunshine and roses. Yes, 0:11:31.840 --> 0:11:33.960 What is something that somebody would have to do to 0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:36.239 ike you out in a dating scenario. 0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:39.200 The problem is, like I get the eggs so easily. 0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:41.920 Me too. I'm like, what's the littlest thing you've gotten 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:44.960 a neck from? I like like mouth breathing, like closeure mouth. 0:11:45.520 --> 0:11:48.640 Yeah. I don't like when it's somebody a man, says 0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:50.280 they're going to go take care of something and then 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:51.880 they come back empty handed. 0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:52.920 I don't like that either. 0:11:53.000 --> 0:11:55.800 Like even if it's just like if we're out of 0:11:55.840 --> 0:11:58.280 function and then we can't find the bar and I'm like, okay, 0:11:58.280 --> 0:12:00.000 you need to go get us the drinks. Yeah that's where, 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:02.319 and they're like I couldn't get it, and it's like, no, 0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:03.560 that's not an option. 0:12:04.400 --> 0:12:05.319 Use your brain. 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:07.520 You have to can't come back empty handed. It doesn't 0:12:07.520 --> 0:12:10.120 have to be only alcohol focused either. I just want 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:12.120 to make this clear. I don't know, it has to 0:12:12.160 --> 0:12:15.240 be task focused. If you're getting me something, yeah, get 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:17.199 the job done and don't come back until you've got 0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:19.839 it done, because like I would never if you needed 0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:21.599 something and I said I was gonna get it, I 0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:22.439 would come back with it. 0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:24.840 Or just like okay, so this maybe wasn't like a 0:12:25.040 --> 0:12:27.920 relationship thing. But like on the same note, it's like 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:30.199 when people don't like use like their brain or common 0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:32.080 sense to like solve a problem. 0:12:32.320 --> 0:12:32.480 Right. 0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:36.520 Like I was on a trip one time and the 0:12:36.559 --> 0:12:39.320 person I was on the trip with like, we were 0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:44.280 our like our tickets to like this one, our tickets 0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:47.880 are the QR code was not scanning, and then like 0:12:48.520 --> 0:12:52.520 they just stood there and I was like, go go 0:12:52.559 --> 0:12:54.559 to the ticket like wait, go talk to someone, and 0:12:54.640 --> 0:12:56.320 they were like, I just don't know what to do. 0:12:56.360 --> 0:12:58.599 And I'm like, so I had to sprint to the offices, 0:12:58.679 --> 0:13:02.120 like try to express what was going on. The boat 0:13:02.160 --> 0:13:06.000 was about to leave, and it was just like it's 0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:10.480 just I don't like feeling like I have to do everything. 0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:14.320 I think women in general are feeling this place. We 0:13:14.400 --> 0:13:15.280 are exhausted. 0:13:15.640 --> 0:13:16.960 I'm exhausted by. 0:13:16.640 --> 0:13:19.640 Being so efficient. Yes, what I get done in the 0:13:19.640 --> 0:13:22.480 first two hours of my day would rival what any 0:13:22.520 --> 0:13:24.760 man I've ever dated gets done in. 0:13:26.679 --> 0:13:29.960 Productive like yeah, so like and I mean. 0:13:30.080 --> 0:13:35.040 Efficient though yeah, not only productive efficient multitasking. Okay, there's 0:13:35.080 --> 0:13:37.800 eighteen emails. I'll get them all taken care of before 0:13:37.960 --> 0:13:41.000 I get going, and so like when when you like, 0:13:41.040 --> 0:13:43.120 I once stated a guy who didn't answer emails, he 0:13:43.160 --> 0:13:44.760 didn't look at emails and I was like, what do 0:13:44.800 --> 0:13:46.720 you mean you to look at emails. You're a professional. 0:13:47.240 --> 0:13:49.440 He's like, I only operate through texts. 0:13:49.640 --> 0:13:53.880 I respond better to texts. I actually, no, I take 0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:57.560 it back. I'm really bad at text I'm phone call like, 0:13:57.559 --> 0:13:58.400 like pick up the phone. 0:13:58.400 --> 0:14:01.319 I'm curious about people who are bad a texting because 0:14:01.320 --> 0:14:04.400 that is like the most immediate like way to communicate. 0:14:04.480 --> 0:14:06.360 And it's on your. 0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:08.880 Phone, right, yeah, it's and it's coming up on my phone. 0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:11.440 And the thing is, I am so like there's so 0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:14.760 many things happening at one time that like I see 0:14:14.760 --> 0:14:16.360 it and I'm like, okay, I'm going to respond to that, 0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:19.760 so I don't open it. And then by the end 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:22.160 of that, by the time I have like a chance 0:14:22.600 --> 0:14:26.280 or remember to look, there's like ten more I see 0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:30.760 and I get so overwhelmed. Okay, and so I end 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:32.160 up usually like calling. 0:14:33.080 --> 0:14:35.120 But you just said you don't like phone calls. No, 0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:37.840 I do, Oh you do like phone calls. 0:14:37.880 --> 0:14:41.040 I prefer because I feel like that is I don't know, 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:43.720 my thumbs get tired. I like that a phone call 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:44.920 like to respond to a text. 0:14:44.920 --> 0:14:47.320 I think that is nice. I mean, you can't ever 0:14:47.320 --> 0:14:49.080 get mad at a phone call. Unless you're me and 0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:50.960 you do get mad at phone calls, but I've actually 0:14:51.040 --> 0:14:52.960 more tapped a phone calls. Yeah, I don't like a 0:14:53.000 --> 0:14:56.040 surprise face time, Like I don't like, but I need 0:14:56.040 --> 0:14:59.280 you to like preliminarily discuss that with me or give 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:00.960 me a heads up, like I'm going to face and 0:15:01.000 --> 0:15:03.400 the people who FaceTime me are whackad's Like I'm like, 0:15:03.480 --> 0:15:06.840 I'm not just answering a random FaceTime but I've grown 0:15:07.640 --> 0:15:12.520 like I've kind of gotten more okay with FaceTime. I 0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:14.960 don't like the act of sitting there and holding a 0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:18.240 phone for that one. You know, that's the right. So 0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:19.680 like when you're talking the phone, you can put an 0:15:19.680 --> 0:15:21.640 AirPod in and walk through the airport, Like I'm not 0:15:21.640 --> 0:15:22.800 going to walk through the airport. 0:15:22.600 --> 0:15:25.360 On a face efficiency, Yeah exactly. 0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:27.120 I want to be on the phone and also doing 0:15:27.200 --> 0:15:28.320 me doing other things. 0:15:28.400 --> 0:15:31.440 Yeah that's fair. I understand that. I just feel like 0:15:31.520 --> 0:15:37.480 I always feel like I'm able to convey information much more, 0:15:38.120 --> 0:15:41.560 much clear, much more clearly if it is me just 0:15:42.160 --> 0:15:44.720 my stream in my stream of consciousness, like okay, and 0:15:44.880 --> 0:15:48.000 oh in this thought, in that thought, and I feel 0:15:48.040 --> 0:15:51.400 like sometimes over email or text I can't quite. 0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:53.760 Do that as well. 0:15:54.760 --> 0:15:59.080 Yeah, I understand. 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:02.680 Do you have like a group of girlfriends or are 0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:04.600 you like a best friend kind of girl? Like? 0:16:04.600 --> 0:16:07.760 What's your I have a group, so it's I wouldn't 0:16:07.760 --> 0:16:10.640 say it's like a girl group, but I guess it's 0:16:10.680 --> 0:16:11.520 just a bunch of people. 0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:14.800 Have you ever had a really bad friendship breakup? Yeah? 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:15.640 I've had a couple. 0:16:15.880 --> 0:16:17.880 Really Yeah, And how do you handle that? 0:16:18.520 --> 0:16:19.960 It's really gnarly. 0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:23.120 It's gnarly for anyone. I was. I say this, I 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:24.560 was at dinner with a girlfriend last night and we 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:26.240 were talking about it. We had the same breakup with 0:16:26.240 --> 0:16:29.640 the same girlfriend, and we didn't know, and so she 0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:31.840 and so then we went to dinner when we found 0:16:31.840 --> 0:16:34.400 out that's good and we just sat there. 0:16:34.280 --> 0:16:40.080 And lie so much. Was it like for the same reason? 0:16:40.440 --> 0:16:43.880 Yes, So that was like very because it was like 0:16:43.920 --> 0:16:46.520 we both it was both unveiled that the same person 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:49.400 did the same thing. And I already knew that because 0:16:49.680 --> 0:16:51.520 I've been around this town. I know a lot of 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:54.640 the same we know, and but it was very It 0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:57.080 felt like we were little girls in a sense, because 0:16:57.200 --> 0:17:00.640 you know, I'm a charger than you obviously, and you 0:17:00.840 --> 0:17:02.400 kind of want to get out of the habit of 0:17:02.480 --> 0:17:05.359 like gossip, but it didn't feel like gossip. It felt 0:17:05.359 --> 0:17:10.720 like therapy. I felt being seen and validated, Like, oh, 0:17:10.760 --> 0:17:14.159 I was exactly right in what I deduced, but it 0:17:14.200 --> 0:17:16.040 took me so much longer than it took her to 0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:17.159 figure out what was going on. 0:17:17.280 --> 0:17:21.960 Right. Also, like, it's not gossip if you're just spreading awareness. 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:26.080 That's a great line too, that's for your other brand. 0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:30.040 It's not gossip if you're spreading awareness. My driver the 0:17:30.080 --> 0:17:32.320 other day said to me, it's not gossip, because I 0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:34.720 said the same thing about this conversation to him. I go, 0:17:34.920 --> 0:17:38.840 it was like he said, it's not gossip if it's information. 0:17:39.320 --> 0:17:43.119 That's a thing you know, Actually, because there is a way, 0:17:43.359 --> 0:17:45.480 there is a way where you can get with your friends, 0:17:45.640 --> 0:17:49.440 whether they're your guy friends, girlfriends, whatever, where it can 0:17:49.520 --> 0:17:52.359 be nasty and you're talking about someone. 0:17:52.240 --> 0:17:55.280 It can be malicious. Yes, that is that to me, 0:17:55.480 --> 0:17:58.960 like is toxic and bad, bad. 0:17:59.000 --> 0:18:01.240 And a bad habit to get into on the regular. 0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:06.280 Absolutely, Like there's no reason to say nasty things about 0:18:06.480 --> 0:18:09.520 people if there is something that needs to be conveyed 0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:13.399 then and if you're just telling the truth then like 0:18:13.480 --> 0:18:14.960 if they get mad at it, then they shouldn't have 0:18:15.000 --> 0:18:20.359 done it. Mm hmm, but I lost your. 0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:20.800 Train of thought. 0:18:20.920 --> 0:18:21.240 I did. 0:18:21.480 --> 0:18:23.960 Well. Luckily we're on the phone and not texting, so 0:18:24.000 --> 0:18:28.080 I can pick up the conversation for you. But I 0:18:28.119 --> 0:18:30.200 do I think that's a good way to exp because 0:18:30.240 --> 0:18:32.199 there is a way to do something meanly, and then 0:18:32.200 --> 0:18:34.280 there is a way to just send somebody a warning 0:18:34.359 --> 0:18:36.439 like hey, just so you know, I know that person, 0:18:36.600 --> 0:18:39.320 and this is how that goes. And sometimes people are 0:18:39.359 --> 0:18:41.600 on the exact same page as you and you could. 0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:43.240 Just know they are, yeah, and you know that they're 0:18:43.240 --> 0:18:47.040 also not saying anything in it like to paint anyone 0:18:47.119 --> 0:18:48.160 in a bad light. 0:18:48.600 --> 0:18:51.359 So when you do have like a friendship breakup or 0:18:51.400 --> 0:18:54.960 any like experience that you've had, how do you handle 0:18:55.200 --> 0:18:55.920 that situation? 0:18:56.960 --> 0:19:00.720 Honestly, I feel like sometimes they are worse, if not 0:19:00.760 --> 0:19:04.119 the for me, they I think both times were worse 0:19:04.160 --> 0:19:08.760 than an actual breakup, Like, yeah, that is the worst 0:19:08.760 --> 0:19:10.280 thing ever, and. 0:19:10.600 --> 0:19:13.840 Because it's you know why, because it's like there's a 0:19:13.880 --> 0:19:18.600 sisterhood and that betrayal is more unexpected than that betrayal 0:19:18.720 --> 0:19:19.720 from a. 0:19:19.680 --> 0:19:24.080 Guy totally, and with friendship breakups, I don't know. I 0:19:24.359 --> 0:19:27.160 think I just like have to fully, like completely remove myself. 0:19:27.240 --> 0:19:29.199 But do you do you let the person know like 0:19:29.280 --> 0:19:31.520 this relationship is over, or do you ghost them. 0:19:31.920 --> 0:19:36.320 I've not ghosted in this in this particular instance with 0:19:36.400 --> 0:19:41.240 a friendship breakup, but like I also, it's happened two times. 0:19:42.040 --> 0:19:44.760 The first time was something I fucked up and I 0:19:44.840 --> 0:19:48.640 did something bad, and I spoke to her and I 0:19:48.680 --> 0:19:51.600 was like, I'm really sorry and I did something really 0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:55.280 bad and if you can't forgive me, I would. I 0:19:55.320 --> 0:19:58.800 totally appreciate it, but I also understand if you won't, 0:19:59.280 --> 0:20:02.200 and I'm sorry. And the other time it happened where 0:20:02.200 --> 0:20:04.560 it was done to me and I have it's like 0:20:04.600 --> 0:20:07.720 it's not ghosting, but I'm trying to figure out how 0:20:07.760 --> 0:20:12.280 to have like the conversation I see right, you know, 0:20:12.320 --> 0:20:14.360 because it's like it's just as painful. 0:20:15.040 --> 0:20:17.280 Well, I think that's something you learn too. You get 0:20:17.280 --> 0:20:19.520 better at as your age. I think you get better 0:20:19.600 --> 0:20:23.120 at like break breakups all all across the board because 0:20:23.720 --> 0:20:25.879 you you just realize that's kind of part of life, 0:20:25.960 --> 0:20:29.919 and your expectations not fade as you get older, but 0:20:29.960 --> 0:20:32.560 your expectations just aren't where they are when you're like 0:20:32.680 --> 0:20:35.840 idealizing things like when you meet a guy when you're 0:20:35.880 --> 0:20:39.679 in your twenties, it's a different expectation and romanticizing of 0:20:39.720 --> 0:20:42.320 a relationship than it is if you're meet you meet 0:20:42.320 --> 0:20:44.399 someone at my age, like you're like, oh, that'll be 0:20:44.440 --> 0:20:47.479 a fun fling for a few months, or like, oh 0:20:47.520 --> 0:20:49.440 this guy will be fun. Let's see what he's got. 0:20:49.480 --> 0:20:52.320 You know, there's like an adventurous spirit, but it's not 0:20:52.400 --> 0:20:55.080 like I'm tying myself to the end result of it. Sure, 0:20:55.280 --> 0:20:58.480 So congratulations for this is season five of Outer Banks? 0:20:58.800 --> 0:20:59.359 Where done? 0:21:00.160 --> 0:21:01.320 And how does that make you feel? 0:21:01.800 --> 0:21:04.919 I'm really really proud of of everyone, and I mean, 0:21:04.960 --> 0:21:06.600 it's crazy that we had a show that went for 0:21:06.640 --> 0:21:13.600 five seasons, because that's impressive. And I'm also I'm happy, 0:21:13.920 --> 0:21:17.080 you know, it's it's time to close the book, and 0:21:17.320 --> 0:21:20.240 I think it's bittersweet, but I think and I but 0:21:20.280 --> 0:21:23.720 I think everybody knows and everybody is like appreciative of 0:21:24.400 --> 0:21:28.080 how and when we've decided to cut it off. We've 0:21:28.119 --> 0:21:29.879 told all the story and they made me pregnant, you know, 0:21:29.960 --> 0:21:31.040 that's when it show's done. 0:21:32.040 --> 0:21:34.639 I like the idea they made you pregnant. I like 0:21:34.720 --> 0:21:38.440 that sentence they made like a group of men did 0:21:38.480 --> 0:21:42.720 it problematical? Yeah, that would be problematical, which. 0:21:42.600 --> 0:21:46.840 Definitely was not my favorite character development. 0:21:47.560 --> 0:21:50.199 It wasn't you weren't happy about that? 0:21:50.240 --> 0:21:50.639 I know. 0:21:52.000 --> 0:21:54.040 I was like, it was like, I don't want to 0:21:54.080 --> 0:21:56.360 wear the belt, Like I don't want to wear those 0:21:56.480 --> 0:22:00.840 heavy like in the South Carolina summer where like the 0:22:00.840 --> 0:22:02.960 heat index gets like one hundred and ten. 0:22:03.320 --> 0:22:05.520 Yeah. When I was watching that show, I was just 0:22:05.600 --> 0:22:09.920 thinking to myself in my sinister, well cynical way. It's 0:22:10.000 --> 0:22:12.840 a cynical way. I was like, and tell me if 0:22:12.880 --> 0:22:15.119 this is true, because I've never felt film to anything 0:22:15.119 --> 0:22:18.040 in that climate, but to be on an island seems 0:22:18.080 --> 0:22:22.120 like a nice idea, but the filming aspect is probably 0:22:22.160 --> 0:22:24.880 not that nice. Being in the sun all fucking day long. 0:22:25.040 --> 0:22:28.560 Yeah, it is it. I mean when we were in Barbados, 0:22:28.600 --> 0:22:31.800 it was like, I don't know, it was both at 0:22:31.800 --> 0:22:34.879 the same It was so beautiful and so I mean 0:22:35.040 --> 0:22:37.359 a lot of our locations are stunning. 0:22:37.520 --> 0:22:40.520 And so windy. Sometimes we have. 0:22:40.480 --> 0:22:43.320 To re record sound for all of those. Oh. 0:22:43.400 --> 0:22:45.520 I was thinking there was so much wind in some 0:22:45.600 --> 0:22:47.480 of the scenes that I'm like, how can they even 0:22:47.520 --> 0:22:48.640 hear each other on the set? 0:22:48.760 --> 0:22:51.480 Eventually I have to stop down for I know, especially 0:22:51.480 --> 0:22:54.080 when we're having like a really like intense scene in 0:22:54.119 --> 0:22:58.840 conversation and like maybe my my psychotic brother comes into 0:22:58.840 --> 0:23:00.960 the scene and then everyone it's like yelling at each 0:23:01.000 --> 0:23:04.439 other and then like I don't know, Dad's dying and 0:23:04.480 --> 0:23:07.280 it's just like your hair's in your face. It's like 0:23:07.560 --> 0:23:10.640 it feels it starts to feel very like Scooby Doo 0:23:10.680 --> 0:23:16.040 as like it becomes a little like silly. It's like, okay, 0:23:16.280 --> 0:23:17.240 like what what else. 0:23:17.960 --> 0:23:20.879 I like the way that you handle people's responses to 0:23:20.960 --> 0:23:24.480 your growing over the course of five years or five seasons, 0:23:25.280 --> 0:23:28.440 like your body, your face, the way you look, And 0:23:29.080 --> 0:23:31.359 I liked your response to that. It's like, yeah, because 0:23:31.359 --> 0:23:33.800 I'm getting older and like things have changed. 0:23:34.119 --> 0:23:35.159 Experiences different. 0:23:35.640 --> 0:23:39.160 Yeah, I'm eating different things. I have been through breakups. 0:23:39.200 --> 0:23:41.399 I've been through all of those things. Like you have 0:23:41.520 --> 0:23:43.400 changed as a person over the course of five years. 0:23:43.440 --> 0:23:45.160 Of course you're going to start to look different after 0:23:45.200 --> 0:23:45.920 five years. 0:23:45.680 --> 0:23:47.560 Totally, or like you go through breakups, or like you 0:23:47.600 --> 0:23:50.000 find like comfort and food or like I don't know, right, 0:23:50.160 --> 0:23:53.159 like we're always changing, Yeah, like drinking sometimes or like 0:23:53.240 --> 0:23:55.520 unhealthy habits, or you're not going to the gym or 0:23:55.600 --> 0:23:58.320 I don't know, you're on your period. Like it's just 0:23:58.880 --> 0:24:02.000 but it's always like insane, like people's to me, people's 0:24:02.040 --> 0:24:09.399 fascination with especially women's bodies, and like I mean, thanks, what, 0:24:09.720 --> 0:24:13.159 but like so shut the fuck up. Have you like 0:24:13.280 --> 0:24:14.400 major peace with that? 0:24:14.520 --> 0:24:17.560 Like how like being the subject of sort of this 0:24:17.680 --> 0:24:19.080 endless online fascination. 0:24:19.320 --> 0:24:21.560 I've made my peace with it. I've also like I 0:24:21.600 --> 0:24:25.760 also just accept that, you know, my body, like my 0:24:25.840 --> 0:24:30.040 body reflects what whatever is going on with me, and 0:24:30.080 --> 0:24:34.200 so I understand that sometimes it's going to change. And 0:24:34.200 --> 0:24:37.880 and it's also like carried me through everything that I've 0:24:37.920 --> 0:24:42.760 been through, and I'm like healthy and alive because of it. 0:24:42.840 --> 0:24:46.280 So I also, you know, like if people can make 0:24:46.320 --> 0:24:47.080 comments about it, I. 0:24:47.080 --> 0:24:50.480 Don't care, Like yeah, I mean, I mean just in 0:24:50.560 --> 0:24:54.879 like being even like say we just take this podcast 0:24:54.960 --> 0:24:57.280 like there I will see comments as like oh my god, 0:24:57.320 --> 0:24:59.440 look at all her plastic surgery. And I'm like, first 0:24:59.440 --> 0:25:01.840 of all, I was hung over that day, you know 0:25:01.840 --> 0:25:05.280 what I mean, Like, like my face can be literally 0:25:05.440 --> 0:25:08.119 like twice the size that it is. Some days I 0:25:08.119 --> 0:25:09.800 have cheekbones, some days I don't. 0:25:09.920 --> 0:25:11.920 My face was the first place it shows I. 0:25:11.840 --> 0:25:14.040 Mean, it's like, are you I'm a woman, I have 0:25:14.280 --> 0:25:18.280 completely different every single day. Like it's the lighting, it's 0:25:18.359 --> 0:25:22.000 what you like when you eat, Like I mean, for 0:25:22.119 --> 0:25:24.719 two episodes, I looked orange and I'm like, why am 0:25:24.760 --> 0:25:25.399 I so orange? 0:25:25.400 --> 0:25:26.159 And then we realized that. 0:25:28.200 --> 0:25:32.239 Coming down literally the curtains that are orange and are 0:25:32.960 --> 0:25:36.520 refracting off of me or I'm refracting off. But it's 0:25:36.520 --> 0:25:39.440 so ridiculous that you don't understand that people look like 0:25:40.000 --> 0:25:41.879 I mean, when I was on when I had a 0:25:41.880 --> 0:25:43.640 talk show, it was every single day and I could 0:25:43.680 --> 0:25:46.560 look vastly different day to day, you know what I mean. 0:25:47.240 --> 0:25:50.159 I don't think people quite understand that all of the 0:25:50.240 --> 0:25:53.320 stuff is not reflective also of how you look in 0:25:53.359 --> 0:25:56.520 real life, like all of the camera stuff adds stuff. 0:25:56.920 --> 0:26:00.320 And also the camera like the way it magnified like 0:26:00.640 --> 0:26:04.359 any and everything it possibly can. And that's how like 0:26:04.600 --> 0:26:08.040 when we were shooting seven years of Outer Banks and 0:26:09.080 --> 0:26:11.480 been through so much, but like from season to season, 0:26:11.520 --> 0:26:14.840 I look so different and it's reflective of like what 0:26:14.920 --> 0:26:17.040 I was going through and like and that's okay, but 0:26:17.160 --> 0:26:19.679 people would make comments about it, and at first it 0:26:19.720 --> 0:26:23.439 bummed me out, but I'm like, yeah, you know, but 0:26:23.480 --> 0:26:26.359 also they're making us like we were. We would have 0:26:26.400 --> 0:26:29.080 to wear like crazy like faked tans, and then they 0:26:29.280 --> 0:26:33.199 you know, lots of like makeup and silicon belly and 0:26:33.240 --> 0:26:36.880 also like I wasn't an automatic to wear mascara, and 0:26:37.400 --> 0:26:41.159 there was no there was nothing. They didn't want anything 0:26:41.440 --> 0:26:45.640 to make us look like no concealer. They didn't want 0:26:45.680 --> 0:26:49.359 any any like pretty makeup because why they wanted us 0:26:49.480 --> 0:26:53.479 to look supernatural and sweaty and dirty and so like. 0:26:53.720 --> 0:26:57.359 So automatically it's like, well they're they're not setting us 0:26:57.400 --> 0:26:59.919 up for success for people to make nice comments about them. 0:27:02.119 --> 0:27:03.760 We were already at a disadvantage. 0:27:03.840 --> 0:27:06.280 I have always wondered this when you're out in the 0:27:06.320 --> 0:27:08.440 sun all day and you're on set, like what is 0:27:08.480 --> 0:27:11.800 the sunblock situation? Are there people slathering you? Like how 0:27:11.880 --> 0:27:12.399 is that working? 0:27:12.680 --> 0:27:18.000 I mean there's spray obviously, like the spray sunscreen was 0:27:18.200 --> 0:27:22.399 king because and then we would put like a foundation on, 0:27:23.160 --> 0:27:26.680 but it was so hot we would just sweat it off. Yeah, 0:27:27.000 --> 0:27:30.480 so just re spraying. But also the bug situation was 0:27:30.520 --> 0:27:33.200 so bad. So when we were laying our splearing ourselves 0:27:33.240 --> 0:27:38.240 with spray sunscreen and deep and we all its sound 0:27:38.440 --> 0:27:39.080 so bad. 0:27:39.200 --> 0:27:42.199 I know that deep stuff smells so bad. It's like 0:27:42.240 --> 0:27:44.480 I think I would rather be fried by the sun. Well, 0:27:44.520 --> 0:27:46.760 I don't know the bugs. I'm trying to think which 0:27:46.920 --> 0:27:50.680 which element is more annoying because the bugs are so annoying. 0:27:50.800 --> 0:27:51.440 There's so bad. 0:27:51.520 --> 0:27:54.600 Yeah, but then the sun can kill you. The bugs 0:27:54.640 --> 0:27:58.240 can't really kill you. I mean they could carry I 0:27:58.240 --> 0:27:58.560 don't know. 0:27:58.600 --> 0:28:00.480 The bugs in South Carolina are kind kind of like 0:28:00.720 --> 0:28:05.640 you're kind of meddle as fuck. 0:28:07.600 --> 0:28:09.440 I was like, is that a phrase? I don't know about? 0:28:10.520 --> 0:28:13.760 Middle So, you've dated a lot of people. You've dated 0:28:13.760 --> 0:28:16.000 a DJ, you've dated an actor, you've dated a musician, 0:28:16.000 --> 0:28:18.960 if you dated a comedian, sure, yeah, So is there 0:28:19.000 --> 0:28:21.000 anyone that you would never date again, any type of 0:28:21.000 --> 0:28:22.800 career that you would never date again? Or is there 0:28:22.800 --> 0:28:27.040 a career choice out there of somebody you wouldn't date, Like, 0:28:27.080 --> 0:28:28.280 would you date a finance guy? 0:28:28.960 --> 0:28:29.560 I don't know. 0:28:29.760 --> 0:28:30.440 I don't think I would. 0:28:30.480 --> 0:28:32.760 I don't. I don't think I could. 0:28:32.520 --> 0:28:35.120 Unless they were bringing like huge amounts of cash. 0:28:35.280 --> 0:28:40.280 Well yeah, okay, actually maybe yeah maybe. So I wouldn't 0:28:40.280 --> 0:28:42.640 say like never again to any of them. But I 0:28:42.680 --> 0:28:44.840 do think, you know, after a while, I was like 0:28:44.880 --> 0:28:51.880 maybe like maybe this industry is a little gnarly for dating. Sure, 0:28:51.960 --> 0:28:55.239 like maybe I should look elsewhere, so I you know, 0:28:56.360 --> 0:29:00.400 maybe that lends itself to a finance guy, but or. 0:29:00.440 --> 0:29:03.160 Just somebody that's not in the business. The reason why 0:29:03.240 --> 0:29:05.240 we everyone in the business dates other people in the 0:29:05.240 --> 0:29:07.480 business is obviously because of proximity. Like those are the 0:29:07.480 --> 0:29:09.240 people you meet, and those are the people you're around 0:29:09.240 --> 0:29:11.480 the most. That's why I feel like it's so important 0:29:11.520 --> 0:29:13.600 to have a real life, you know, like outside of work, 0:29:13.640 --> 0:29:16.200 so that you can meet real people and normal people. 0:29:16.760 --> 0:29:18.800 But then it's really hard for those normal people to 0:29:18.920 --> 0:29:22.240 kind of assimilate to the lifestyle because the lifestyle is 0:29:22.280 --> 0:29:26.560 not like movable or manageable. It's like refra shoot dates 0:29:26.600 --> 0:29:28.560 like those are non negotiable. You don't know how long 0:29:28.600 --> 0:29:30.800 you're going to work each day, and there's no room. 0:29:30.680 --> 0:29:33.040 For like that's the thing. It is, Like I have 0:29:33.160 --> 0:29:36.360 also dated people who weren't in the industry in an 0:29:36.360 --> 0:29:40.400 effort to fix that problem. But that was the problem, 0:29:40.760 --> 0:29:44.479 or fix the problem of dating. And then yeah, and 0:29:44.560 --> 0:29:47.520 then and then I got annoyed because I felt like 0:29:47.560 --> 0:29:55.040 I was having to explain everything. I'm like, this is 0:29:55.160 --> 0:29:58.480 just my job and also this is my life. 0:29:59.360 --> 0:30:03.640 Yeah, I had a similar situation where I recorded a podcast. 0:30:04.080 --> 0:30:05.840 This is a guy I dated a couple of years ago. 0:30:06.000 --> 0:30:08.760 I recorded a podcast. It was before I had met him, 0:30:08.760 --> 0:30:10.640 and I was just talking about how great it is 0:30:10.680 --> 0:30:12.880 to be single. And they held the podcast for a 0:30:12.960 --> 0:30:15.720 couple of months, and then the podcast came out after 0:30:15.760 --> 0:30:19.000 he and I had gone public, and he couldn't wrap 0:30:19.040 --> 0:30:21.160 his head around the fact that I had recorded a 0:30:21.200 --> 0:30:24.280 podcast it was old, and he's like, why would you 0:30:24.440 --> 0:30:26.840 talk about the guys? And I was like, because that's 0:30:26.880 --> 0:30:29.040 what I was doing before I met you. And he 0:30:29.160 --> 0:30:31.600 couldn't wrap his head around the fact that the podcast 0:30:31.680 --> 0:30:34.280 had been recorded months ago and they just released it 0:30:34.320 --> 0:30:35.280 like he thought it was live. 0:30:35.960 --> 0:30:38.200 So that also happened to me one time where I 0:30:38.280 --> 0:30:43.400 like made comments before like you know, we had you know, 0:30:44.080 --> 0:30:47.480 become official official, and then in the timing of the 0:30:47.560 --> 0:30:52.520 release of those comments was really bad, like really gnarly 0:30:52.600 --> 0:30:56.240 for him. But I like, I explained, I explained everything, 0:30:56.320 --> 0:31:01.160 but you know, just it still felt like he was 0:31:01.160 --> 0:31:03.880 still just not happy, and I'm like, I don't I'm sorry. 0:31:04.120 --> 0:31:06.160 Are you someone that looks too like do you think 0:31:06.160 --> 0:31:08.880 about yourself in the future. Do you think about being married, 0:31:08.960 --> 0:31:10.800 Do you think about having children? Is that something you 0:31:10.960 --> 0:31:11.440 care about? 0:31:11.640 --> 0:31:13.840 I do. I think it's you know, I think they're 0:31:13.880 --> 0:31:19.440 all fun things to think about. But the idea of 0:31:19.520 --> 0:31:24.360 childbirth really terrifies me. Really, Yeah, because I was only like, 0:31:24.920 --> 0:31:28.320 only last year did I learn like really gnarly details 0:31:28.320 --> 0:31:30.240 about childbirth. 0:31:30.400 --> 0:31:33.880 Yeah, childbirth seems like something that the less you know 0:31:34.280 --> 0:31:36.080 about it going in better. 0:31:36.440 --> 0:31:39.000 Well, there's a girl on TikTok who has a list. 0:31:39.200 --> 0:31:42.160 So when women go on to TikTok and tell their 0:31:42.920 --> 0:31:46.520 birthing stories and she gets really specific, it cuts to 0:31:46.600 --> 0:31:48.440 this girl writing down a list and there's like three 0:31:48.520 --> 0:31:51.440 hundred reasons she has so far of why not she 0:31:51.480 --> 0:31:54.360 does not want to have a baby. So I like 0:31:54.440 --> 0:31:56.760 to think about all these things. But, like we were 0:31:56.800 --> 0:31:59.120 saying earlier, I mean, I'm just like marriage, sure, but 0:31:59.320 --> 0:31:59.959 just give me the right. 0:32:00.840 --> 0:32:02.680 Yeah you said that now twice that you want the 0:32:02.760 --> 0:32:06.280 ring so hopefully because it's sparkly. Yeah, I get it, 0:32:06.320 --> 0:32:08.840 I get it. I understand people want rings and jewelry. 0:32:08.920 --> 0:32:15.920 Girls like jewelry, love jewelry. Do you still I heard 0:32:15.960 --> 0:32:18.600 something when I was doing my research on you that 0:32:18.720 --> 0:32:21.840 you felt like you had imposter syndrome in this business, 0:32:21.840 --> 0:32:24.160 which I hear all the time from everyone, which I've 0:32:24.160 --> 0:32:27.160 also felt. Do you feel that way still? 0:32:27.280 --> 0:32:30.080 I do. I feel like I'm getting a lot more 0:32:30.120 --> 0:32:34.160 comfortable in my skin, but I do still feel like. 0:32:34.720 --> 0:32:38.920 I just went and shot a movie with jud Appatite, 0:32:39.120 --> 0:32:42.520 and it was it was the best time I have 0:32:42.920 --> 0:32:44.040 truly ever had. 0:32:43.840 --> 0:32:46.600 Shooting, and that's nice. 0:32:46.680 --> 0:32:48.840 It was really fun. But it's the first time I've 0:32:48.960 --> 0:32:54.120 legitimately done comedy, and I've always wanted to, but I 0:32:54.520 --> 0:32:57.080 was just once it was once we were in prep 0:32:57.120 --> 0:33:00.320 and once you know, we were getting scripts, I it's like, 0:33:00.920 --> 0:33:03.560 oh my god, I don't know. I don't I don't know. 0:33:03.960 --> 0:33:07.400 Maybe I'm not funny, Like just like I don't, I 0:33:07.400 --> 0:33:10.360 don't think I'm maybe are they sure they've got the 0:33:10.440 --> 0:33:13.560 right girl? And then you know, also I was playing 0:33:13.720 --> 0:33:17.640 a singer and then so there with that also came 0:33:17.680 --> 0:33:21.040 a lot of movement and vocal training, which was very cool. 0:33:22.160 --> 0:33:23.960 But I was so afraid that on the day I 0:33:24.000 --> 0:33:29.040 was going to walk on and just like be a fraud. Right, 0:33:29.120 --> 0:33:32.400 So yes, I still get it badly. But then but 0:33:32.440 --> 0:33:35.120 then like once, once we started getting into our flow 0:33:35.160 --> 0:33:36.360 state then it went away. 0:33:36.600 --> 0:33:38.880 Yeah, yeah, I mean the singing part is scary too. 0:33:39.240 --> 0:33:41.240 I have to see it because are you a natural singer? 0:33:41.720 --> 0:33:45.480 You know? Eric petrou Had did some like miracle work 0:33:46.040 --> 0:33:46.600 ye on me. 0:33:47.280 --> 0:33:49.760 Yeah, I think you can get almost anybody to be 0:33:49.840 --> 0:33:53.400 able to like at least hold a tune, which is 0:33:53.400 --> 0:33:56.040 what I carry. So I can't even refer. 0:33:56.120 --> 0:34:00.440 I think I feel like I've said that too, hold 0:34:00.440 --> 0:34:02.680 a tune. Are we both wrong? 0:34:02.920 --> 0:34:05.960 I think, But I mean it's the same idea. Yeah, 0:34:05.960 --> 0:34:07.840 it doesn't really matter semantics. 0:34:08.120 --> 0:34:11.120 Is there anything that you're like, you know, talking about 0:34:11.120 --> 0:34:13.560 trying comedy for the first time. Is there anything that 0:34:13.640 --> 0:34:16.120 you are you want to do in the future but 0:34:16.160 --> 0:34:17.120 you are scared to do. 0:34:19.160 --> 0:34:22.560 I think I think comedy was really scared of because 0:34:22.760 --> 0:34:25.759 it's hard. It's not like, yeah, you can't just make 0:34:25.800 --> 0:34:28.400 something funny like you. It either is or it isn't. 0:34:29.280 --> 0:34:32.840 And it's also I think in like a comedy movie, 0:34:33.160 --> 0:34:35.160 like all four wheels have to be hitting the ground, 0:34:35.920 --> 0:34:38.320 everyone has to be like kind of throwing their fastball. 0:34:39.160 --> 0:34:42.120 And so that was really scary. But I would love 0:34:42.239 --> 0:34:46.480 to do more. We had the best time. I would 0:34:46.520 --> 0:34:49.200 love to do action. We do a lot of action 0:34:49.239 --> 0:34:50.720 on outer banks. I think that's fun. 0:34:50.960 --> 0:34:52.040 And how do you like about that? 0:34:53.880 --> 0:34:56.520 Because it kind of makes me feel a little badass. 0:34:56.680 --> 0:34:58.040 Yeah, you know what I mean. 0:34:58.520 --> 0:34:59.920 So I think it'd be really fun to do more. 0:35:00.960 --> 0:35:06.000 And I think comedy is also really closely related to horror, 0:35:06.000 --> 0:35:09.520 and like camp camp horror, which I think is really sick. 0:35:09.680 --> 0:35:11.160 Yeah, what did you grow up watching? 0:35:11.680 --> 0:35:14.959 I grew so Actually I wasn't allowed to watch horror 0:35:15.000 --> 0:35:17.439 growing up. But the very first horror movie I did see, 0:35:17.560 --> 0:35:21.440 which is actually a comedy, were the scary movies? 0:35:21.640 --> 0:35:25.120 Okay, yeah, those are hard to miss. Yeah, there's another 0:35:25.120 --> 0:35:26.360 one that just came out. 0:35:26.280 --> 0:35:30.840 Yes, and then and then I think, like, oh, and 0:35:30.880 --> 0:35:33.520 then the first real horror movie I watched I think 0:35:33.680 --> 0:35:36.480 was Insidious too. 0:35:37.080 --> 0:35:38.040 I don't know if I saw that. 0:35:38.560 --> 0:35:38.759 I'm not. 0:35:40.239 --> 0:35:41.719 I'm not into horror as much. 0:35:42.000 --> 0:35:44.680 Yeah, have you done any horror? I did? I know 0:35:44.719 --> 0:35:46.680 what you did last summer that was like slasher? 0:35:47.320 --> 0:35:49.640 What's the difference between slasher and horror? 0:35:49.960 --> 0:35:55.360 Like slasher slasher horrorse like like there's this there's a 0:35:55.680 --> 0:35:58.400 deranged serial killer on the loose who's gonna get you, 0:35:58.680 --> 0:36:02.760 And it's probably like your ex boyfriend's uncle for some reason, 0:36:03.520 --> 0:36:04.160 and he was like. 0:36:04.200 --> 0:36:07.560 You know, it's very heightened, even more than horror, Like yeah, 0:36:07.600 --> 0:36:10.360 like right, like horror is gonna like really scary you, 0:36:10.360 --> 0:36:13.200 whereas like Slasher is like a rump with scary themes. 0:36:13.400 --> 0:36:17.080 Yes, and that's that's what we did, which was really fun. 0:36:17.440 --> 0:36:20.839 I enjoyed that very much. My favorite thing too, it 0:36:20.880 --> 0:36:24.600 is like when you're when we were making a horror 0:36:24.600 --> 0:36:26.560 movie and like something in the take would go wrong 0:36:26.680 --> 0:36:28.960 or the timing would go off, it would immediately turn 0:36:29.000 --> 0:36:32.479 it into Scooby Doo and like really funny, like where 0:36:32.560 --> 0:36:34.560 you know you're running. They're running down the hallways and 0:36:34.640 --> 0:36:37.320 they miss each other and it's it was really funny 0:36:37.360 --> 0:36:40.520 because I'm like, oh wait, this could so easily become hilarious. 0:36:40.680 --> 0:36:43.279 It just which I guess is what they like do 0:36:43.320 --> 0:36:44.160 in a scary movie. 0:36:44.200 --> 0:36:46.440 But what about lying? Are you good at lying? 0:36:46.880 --> 0:36:49.399 What a terrible liar? You are a terrible liar. 0:36:49.480 --> 0:36:51.040 It's an actor, You're a bad liar? 0:36:51.680 --> 0:36:53.880 Yeah? Is it acting? 0:36:54.040 --> 0:36:54.600 Just lying? 0:36:54.719 --> 0:36:56.439 But the thing is like when I'm when I'm lying, 0:36:56.480 --> 0:36:58.680 I don't believe myself. And when I'm acting, I'm like 0:36:58.760 --> 0:37:01.319 I have to have to believe what's coming out of 0:37:01.320 --> 0:37:02.759 my mouth, or I just will start over. 0:37:02.960 --> 0:37:04.800 How did you discover that you were bad at lying? 0:37:07.239 --> 0:37:11.040 I think it was pretty early on. I specifically remember 0:37:11.480 --> 0:37:14.120 my mom one time asking me if I had done 0:37:14.200 --> 0:37:17.800 my reading for the day, like my twenty minute reading 0:37:17.920 --> 0:37:21.240 for school, and she was like, when did you finish? 0:37:21.280 --> 0:37:24.279 And I was like this. I was also really young too. 0:37:24.360 --> 0:37:30.280 I wasn't this stupid, but I said, at three seventy two. 0:37:33.000 --> 0:37:38.040 That is stupid. That's funny. I'm like, i feel like 0:37:38.200 --> 0:37:41.320 I was a good liar, but I'm sure I probably wasn't. 0:37:41.960 --> 0:37:44.439 I don't like to lie, just because my lies would 0:37:44.440 --> 0:37:47.839 turn into these volcanic eruptions, like I wouldn't just tell 0:37:47.880 --> 0:37:50.880 a lie, I would like double mouth the lie, and 0:37:50.920 --> 0:37:53.759 then they were like three other people involved, and like 0:37:53.800 --> 0:37:56.640 the things that people could easily check, and then just 0:37:57.200 --> 0:38:01.640 like basically implicate other people, like I would basically implicate 0:38:01.640 --> 0:38:03.640 people that weren't involved in it at all. So you're 0:38:03.640 --> 0:38:06.879 basically dragging everyone down with you. And my friends would 0:38:06.880 --> 0:38:08.680 be like, why didn't you just say like you're not 0:38:08.760 --> 0:38:11.280 in the mood, you know, like why do you involve 0:38:11.400 --> 0:38:14.600 everyone else? Why are you involving so many people in 0:38:14.640 --> 0:38:17.240 your lives, Like why are they so multi levels? 0:38:17.840 --> 0:38:19.920 Go to dinner because my best friend's dog died. 0:38:20.160 --> 0:38:23.400 And then yeah, I was once trying to get a 0:38:23.480 --> 0:38:25.440 rid of a guy. We were in Barcelona and I 0:38:25.520 --> 0:38:27.239 was on a date and I was trying to I mean, 0:38:27.400 --> 0:38:29.719 this guy flew to Barcelona to meet me, right, I 0:38:29.880 --> 0:38:31.960 had a bunch of friends there. We were there, and 0:38:32.000 --> 0:38:33.640 then as soon as I saw him, I was like, 0:38:33.680 --> 0:38:36.680 oh no, no, this is not going to happen. And 0:38:36.719 --> 0:38:38.680 then I made up a friend. I made up a 0:38:38.719 --> 0:38:42.359 fake character, I made up a wedding, I made up 0:38:42.440 --> 0:38:45.560 I It was right after that Vicki Christina Barcelona movie 0:38:45.640 --> 0:38:48.840 came out, so I kept calling her Vicki Christina my cousin, 0:38:49.440 --> 0:38:51.640 and I was like, she's getting married in Barcelona and 0:38:51.640 --> 0:38:53.920 we actually have to go buy her some wedding shoes 0:38:54.000 --> 0:38:54.439 right now? 0:38:55.680 --> 0:38:56.200 Is crazy. 0:38:56.440 --> 0:38:58.880 And my friend was watching me and was like you 0:38:58.960 --> 0:39:01.440 were And we ended up running into them at the 0:39:01.440 --> 0:39:03.320 hotel when we were supposed to be at the wedding. 0:39:03.560 --> 0:39:05.399 This guy came out and flew out with his friend. 0:39:05.560 --> 0:39:07.560 We thought when we said it was a wrap and 0:39:07.600 --> 0:39:09.279 I was going to the wedding, that he would go 0:39:09.360 --> 0:39:11.560 back to London where he came from. But he came 0:39:11.680 --> 0:39:14.680 back and stayed there and we got caught red handed. 0:39:15.080 --> 0:39:18.040 And as I saw him, I just I was like, 0:39:18.080 --> 0:39:20.920 don't no matter what. And they're like, Chelsea, shut up, 0:39:21.320 --> 0:39:24.759 like you are caught red handed because saying no matter what, 0:39:25.120 --> 0:39:32.040 we are still going to the wedding. Just keep this story. Yeah, 0:39:32.400 --> 0:39:36.640 so I can't. So I don't lie just because I mean, 0:39:36.760 --> 0:39:39.680 because you're I do sometimes, but I do. I when 0:39:39.680 --> 0:39:41.520 I when I think about lying, I'm just like, just 0:39:41.560 --> 0:39:43.640 it's just so much easier to tell the truth totally. 0:39:43.800 --> 0:39:47.000 Don't implicate other people and just say the truth. 0:39:47.120 --> 0:39:49.239 I know. But that's the thing is, like I I 0:39:49.320 --> 0:39:51.360 also do the I I just tell the truth. I 0:39:51.360 --> 0:39:53.640 am such a confessionalist that sometimes I give people too 0:39:53.719 --> 0:39:56.959 much information and then it actually does throw people under 0:39:57.000 --> 0:39:57.319 the book. 0:39:57.600 --> 0:40:00.560 Yeah, I'm with you. That's what I do out of 0:40:00.640 --> 0:40:06.520 doing that or or stunt in my careerd cbd. 0:40:07.120 --> 0:40:09.960 I actually have a listener question that's all about how 0:40:10.000 --> 0:40:10.560 to lose a guy. 0:40:10.760 --> 0:40:13.719 So maybe we just transition. Oh okay, you ready for 0:40:13.760 --> 0:40:14.479 some advice question? 0:40:14.719 --> 0:40:15.480 Yeah, let's do it. 0:40:15.560 --> 0:40:18.840 Okay, Well, this one's just an email, but Meg says 0:40:19.280 --> 0:40:22.360 dear Chelsea. I'm a thirty two year old female. I 0:40:22.400 --> 0:40:25.000 recently escaped a five year relationship, and I find myself 0:40:25.000 --> 0:40:27.319 getting into pickles with men I'm not interested in. 0:40:27.480 --> 0:40:29.439 Pickles? Is an interesting This. 0:40:29.360 --> 0:40:32.680 Is interesting specifically men I'm acquaintances with and see on 0:40:32.719 --> 0:40:35.959 a regular basis work neighbors. When they ask to spend 0:40:35.960 --> 0:40:38.719 time with me, I regrettably agree on the spot because 0:40:38.719 --> 0:40:41.399 I'm not sure how to reject them politely. I then 0:40:41.480 --> 0:40:44.240 struggle to either reject them later or I avoid them. 0:40:44.120 --> 0:40:44.760 Like the plague. 0:40:45.040 --> 0:40:46.680 You know, I don't owe them anything, but the fact 0:40:46.719 --> 0:40:48.480 that there are people that I will continue to see 0:40:48.480 --> 0:40:50.680 on a regular basis and the desire not to make 0:40:50.680 --> 0:40:52.400 anyone feel bad it makes it hard to say no. 0:40:53.040 --> 0:40:55.480 I need a blueprint on how to handle these situations 0:40:55.520 --> 0:40:57.759 on the spot, because they usually happen when I'm not 0:40:57.880 --> 0:41:00.160 expecting it and when I've got my friendly coworker or 0:41:00.200 --> 0:41:01.120 neighbor mask on. 0:41:01.400 --> 0:41:04.399 Thanks Meg, Wow, So these are people that she's gonna 0:41:04.440 --> 0:41:04.920 see again. 0:41:05.800 --> 0:41:08.760 I want to hang out like a coworker, it's a neighbor, 0:41:08.800 --> 0:41:10.640 it's a somebody you see regularly. 0:41:11.040 --> 0:41:13.439 Oh. Because I have a good answer for people, you'll 0:41:13.480 --> 0:41:18.240 never see again. You can just you're having a terrible outbreak. 0:41:18.640 --> 0:41:22.000 That usually ends the conversation right away. But I think 0:41:22.120 --> 0:41:24.120 what's a good way to shut someone down if you're 0:41:24.120 --> 0:41:26.920 not interested in a nice way? Because I do think 0:41:26.920 --> 0:41:29.719 it's important to not leave people hanging and holding off 0:41:29.760 --> 0:41:32.480 for hope. So I mean, and if you're saying you 0:41:32.560 --> 0:41:34.080 have a you can't lie and say you already have 0:41:34.120 --> 0:41:36.520 a boyfriend or a girlfriend. They're gonna if you're gonna 0:41:36.640 --> 0:41:39.600 if these are recurring characters. But you can say I 0:41:39.760 --> 0:41:42.760 just actually started seeing someone, and then that could fall apart. 0:41:42.760 --> 0:41:45.600 It's new, Yeah, it's new, And then that way it 0:41:45.640 --> 0:41:48.839 doesn't have to come to fruition, right good. I mean, 0:41:48.880 --> 0:41:51.080 I think that's a decent way. Another thing you can 0:41:51.120 --> 0:41:54.720 do is just say I'm so sorry, but I'm totally 0:41:54.760 --> 0:41:57.200 not even looking at you in that way or feeling 0:41:57.440 --> 0:41:59.600 anything in that way, so I don't even want to 0:42:00.239 --> 0:42:01.959 I mean, I know that's a little it sounds hard 0:42:02.000 --> 0:42:03.839 to say, but there's a succinct way to say that, 0:42:04.280 --> 0:42:06.640 to say, like, I really want to keep it perfect. 0:42:06.719 --> 0:42:08.640 Especially if you work with them, you can always use 0:42:08.680 --> 0:42:10.719 that as an excuse to be like, I really don't 0:42:10.760 --> 0:42:13.359 want to mix work with pleasure. I've had a bad 0:42:13.400 --> 0:42:17.480 experience in the past totally, or you could say I yeah, 0:42:17.560 --> 0:42:21.160 you could say that, and then the only problem with 0:42:21.200 --> 0:42:22.879 that is if you start dating a different co work, 0:42:24.520 --> 0:42:27.600 but at that who gives a ship? But I'm a 0:42:27.640 --> 0:42:29.960 fan of telling people letting people down at night, like 0:42:30.280 --> 0:42:34.040 like I'm just saying being because so many people ghost, 0:42:34.160 --> 0:42:37.120 so many people, yes, and I think that's kind of 0:42:37.280 --> 0:42:39.880 really fucked up. It fucks with people's psyches, right, Like 0:42:39.960 --> 0:42:41.879 you have to just be really direct and say I'm 0:42:41.880 --> 0:42:42.719 not feeling. 0:42:42.400 --> 0:42:43.360 It or I'm not seeing it. 0:42:43.360 --> 0:42:45.600 I don't want to see anybody, right, I'm in something 0:42:45.640 --> 0:42:47.719 slightly and I want to see where this goes, you know, 0:42:47.840 --> 0:42:50.799 like that's a nicer, softer land like that. What do 0:42:50.840 --> 0:42:52.840 you tell somebody when you're not interested? 0:42:53.320 --> 0:42:56.440 See, here's the problem? Like, sometimes I let it go 0:42:56.520 --> 0:42:57.000 too far? 0:42:57.360 --> 0:42:58.399 Did I used to do that too? 0:42:58.480 --> 0:42:58.640 Yeah? 0:42:58.640 --> 0:43:00.520 I think every woman doesn't because. 0:43:00.280 --> 0:43:03.680 I don't want. I hate letting, like I hate hurting 0:43:03.719 --> 0:43:06.760 people's feelings. And then I'm like, what was I thinking? 0:43:07.040 --> 0:43:12.879 But whatever? And so then I usually call and I'm 0:43:12.960 --> 0:43:17.000 like and I just tell them I just but sometimes. 0:43:16.400 --> 0:43:17.399 Say what what do you say? 0:43:17.600 --> 0:43:21.759 Sometimes they ask like why right, and then I'm a 0:43:21.800 --> 0:43:26.560 confessionalist and I'll tell them, but then that ends up hurting. 0:43:26.200 --> 0:43:28.319 Their feelings, like what what what have you said to 0:43:28.360 --> 0:43:31.160 someone who's whose feelings have been hurt in that in 0:43:31.200 --> 0:43:32.840 that kind of situation. 0:43:32.440 --> 0:43:34.560 You eat all my food and you didn't pay for anything. 0:43:36.200 --> 0:43:38.520 You like, I want my ring like that, I'm out 0:43:38.600 --> 0:43:40.280 here looking for a ring everybody. 0:43:40.920 --> 0:43:45.160 I just don't think it's gonna work out. Yeah, And 0:43:45.239 --> 0:43:47.279 I think we should not speak anymore. 0:43:48.120 --> 0:43:49.759 I love that men don't think that they have to 0:43:49.800 --> 0:43:52.719 pay for things, Like what's that about? I think they're confusing. 0:43:53.080 --> 0:43:57.160 They're confusing like chivalry with misogyny almost like. 0:43:57.719 --> 0:43:59.400 You know what I mean, I don't have to make 0:43:59.400 --> 0:43:59.800 an effort. 0:43:59.880 --> 0:44:02.360 Like everyone's getting everything confused. It's like, well, why do 0:44:02.400 --> 0:44:03.800 we have to pay for things? You guys want to 0:44:03.800 --> 0:44:06.759 be treated equally. It's like, that's not the reason, that's 0:44:06.800 --> 0:44:08.160 not that doesn't have anything. 0:44:07.960 --> 0:44:09.719 To do like that, you didn't say anything. I'm like, 0:44:09.880 --> 0:44:11.799 I'm I'm literally use your brain. 0:44:12.560 --> 0:44:14.839 Yeah, just like and also it's like a polite thing 0:44:14.880 --> 0:44:16.319 to do if I were to take a woman out 0:44:16.360 --> 0:44:19.239 to dinner or ask a woman to dinner if I 0:44:19.320 --> 0:44:22.399 would pay, like just if it's a friend situation, it's 0:44:22.440 --> 0:44:27.000 like whoever asks you pay, And dating historically and traditionally 0:44:27.560 --> 0:44:29.600 is just like a nice way for a man to be, 0:44:29.719 --> 0:44:31.960 like I'm going to take you out for on a day, show. 0:44:31.840 --> 0:44:36.560 Them a nice time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally, Yeah it's nice. Meg. Yeah, 0:44:36.719 --> 0:44:37.520 I'm sorry, Meg. 0:44:37.840 --> 0:44:43.759 Yeah, we have live callers. Are you ready for that? 0:44:44.000 --> 0:44:44.719 So exciting? Yeah? 0:44:44.960 --> 0:44:46.560 I hope you've been to therapy so you can give 0:44:46.600 --> 0:44:47.759 some because that's what we do here. 0:44:48.280 --> 0:44:49.960 Yes, all right. 0:44:50.160 --> 0:44:54.840 Lennee has a very tricky question, so she says, dear Chelsea, 0:44:55.360 --> 0:44:57.040 please help me know what to say so I don't 0:44:57.040 --> 0:45:00.160 feel like a ball busting asshole to my husband. I'm 0:45:00.160 --> 0:45:02.839 married to a wonderful, thoughtful, and caring man who only 0:45:02.840 --> 0:45:05.480 wants me to feel fulfilled and happy. I know some 0:45:05.560 --> 0:45:07.640 men would think I'm impossible to live with, but this 0:45:07.760 --> 0:45:10.240 man has never said a negative word about my hatred 0:45:10.239 --> 0:45:11.759 for football and video games. 0:45:12.000 --> 0:45:12.360 I know that. 0:45:14.040 --> 0:45:16.400 I know that he participates much less in both of 0:45:16.400 --> 0:45:18.640 these interests because of a clear boundary I set when 0:45:18.640 --> 0:45:21.239 we were dating. Lately, even our choice of what we 0:45:21.280 --> 0:45:24.960 watch on television together isn't vibing I'm interested in documentaries, 0:45:25.000 --> 0:45:27.480 and my husband finds these to be mostly depressing. He 0:45:27.560 --> 0:45:30.839 prefers something lighthearted, but I cannot watch another rerun. 0:45:30.520 --> 0:45:31.879 Of Friends or the Office. 0:45:32.120 --> 0:45:34.120 My husband thinks he's found the solution for us, but 0:45:34.160 --> 0:45:35.600 I don't have the heart to tell him that this 0:45:35.719 --> 0:45:39.200 solution is triggering to me. He thinks I love watching 0:45:39.280 --> 0:45:42.680 food eating challenges with him on YouTube. Beard meets Food 0:45:42.719 --> 0:45:44.960 seems to be his favorite. He'll wait for me so 0:45:45.000 --> 0:45:46.799 we can watch new episodes together, and he. 0:45:46.880 --> 0:45:48.840 Travel a lot for work. 0:45:49.239 --> 0:45:51.520 He sees it as our new show and gets excited 0:45:51.560 --> 0:45:54.080 to watch it together. The thing is, I have struggled 0:45:54.080 --> 0:45:56.640 with bolimia since I was twelve. He knows this, but 0:45:56.680 --> 0:45:59.120 we haven't discussed it in years. I'm now forty, and 0:45:59.160 --> 0:46:01.280 it's been getting harder harder not to binge and purge 0:46:01.280 --> 0:46:02.560 when my husband isn't around. 0:46:03.040 --> 0:46:05.240 This show triggers me. Oh my god. 0:46:05.560 --> 0:46:07.560 When I'm watching, I'll be dreaming of the moment I 0:46:07.560 --> 0:46:09.799 get to be alone again to binge and purge, and 0:46:09.880 --> 0:46:12.160 I hate that feeling. I feel like if I tell 0:46:12.160 --> 0:46:14.200 my husband, it will be yet another thing that I 0:46:14.239 --> 0:46:17.160 hate and he enjoys. How do I have this conversation 0:46:17.239 --> 0:46:20.400 without him feeling like I'm micromanaging his interests. Am I 0:46:20.480 --> 0:46:22.759 just doomed to sit through sitcomer runs for hopefully the 0:46:22.840 --> 0:46:25.359 next forty years with the love of my life, Lenae. 0:46:25.719 --> 0:46:30.000 Hi Line, Hi, Hi, Hi. This is our special guest, 0:46:30.080 --> 0:46:30.880 Madeline Klein. 0:46:31.120 --> 0:46:32.759 Hi. Nice to meet you. 0:46:32.920 --> 0:46:33.400 Hello. 0:46:34.320 --> 0:46:36.520 Maybe you guys can watch Outer Banks? 0:46:36.800 --> 0:46:39.000 Yeah, watching Outer Banks together? 0:46:39.920 --> 0:46:40.560 We haven't. 0:46:40.920 --> 0:46:42.160 I haven't tried that show. 0:46:42.600 --> 0:46:44.879 It's a fun it's a fun romp. 0:46:45.719 --> 0:46:48.759 I think that you have to be really honest with 0:46:48.840 --> 0:46:52.640 your husband because now you're in a precarious situation with 0:46:52.760 --> 0:46:56.600 a history of an eating disorder that is triggering. Like 0:46:56.640 --> 0:47:00.680 that is completely valid information. And listen, here's the thing. 0:47:01.080 --> 0:47:04.319 You guys don't have to watch TV together. You just 0:47:04.520 --> 0:47:10.840 don't like. It's not like a fundamental necessity. It's great 0:47:10.840 --> 0:47:13.080 if you can find something or a series that you 0:47:13.080 --> 0:47:17.720 guys are gonna like together, but it's not absolutely necessary. 0:47:17.760 --> 0:47:19.520 You can do other things together. Why don't you go 0:47:19.600 --> 0:47:22.480 for a walk? Like I know that sounds like the blah, 0:47:22.600 --> 0:47:24.759 but actually lots of people do that and it's a 0:47:24.760 --> 0:47:27.759 way to connect without any distraction. Because I don't really 0:47:27.760 --> 0:47:31.800 feel like necessarily watching TV with people is the biggest connection. 0:47:32.239 --> 0:47:32.640 Yeah. 0:47:32.840 --> 0:47:35.919 Yeah, it's kind of like a lazy connection. That's true. 0:47:35.920 --> 0:47:37.960 We've been talking a lot. We own a lot of 0:47:37.960 --> 0:47:39.719 book I have quite a book collection. We've been to 0:47:40.080 --> 0:47:43.200 about needing to read more together. Yeah, but when we've tried, 0:47:43.280 --> 0:47:45.360 it's just the dead silence in the house and so 0:47:45.400 --> 0:47:47.839 we're talking about all music in the background while we read. 0:47:48.200 --> 0:47:52.480 We just haven't quite found the groove of that yet. 0:47:50.520 --> 0:47:53.440 You know, Okay, with reading, I can help you with this. 0:47:53.800 --> 0:47:55.680 With reading, you have to set the tone. You have 0:47:55.760 --> 0:47:57.720 to get into the groove, and you have to force yourself. 0:47:58.000 --> 0:47:59.960 You can put on some jazz, put on some class 0:48:00.320 --> 0:48:03.080 so it's not distracting. Obviously, you know you're not gonna 0:48:03.080 --> 0:48:05.560 be listening to hip hop and reading. So like, just 0:48:05.600 --> 0:48:08.960 put on some background music and literally sit there with 0:48:09.040 --> 0:48:12.279 your partner. You don't even have to read the same book. No, 0:48:12.560 --> 0:48:15.400 you can just both read fifty pages of a book 0:48:15.440 --> 0:48:18.360 and sit down and discuss it after. Or you can 0:48:18.440 --> 0:48:20.640 read fifty pages. I mean you can read fifty pages 0:48:20.640 --> 0:48:22.560 of the same book. Or you can read and you 0:48:22.560 --> 0:48:25.640 can start small, start with twenty five pages. Anyone could 0:48:25.680 --> 0:48:28.120 read twenty five pages of a book and just set 0:48:28.120 --> 0:48:30.759 a new pattern, like of something that you guys can 0:48:30.840 --> 0:48:34.080 do together. And you know, if you're not really agreeing 0:48:34.200 --> 0:48:36.480 on shows to watch, I don't know that you're going 0:48:36.560 --> 0:48:39.440 to be having the same interest in books necessarily. So 0:48:39.640 --> 0:48:41.640 I think you can be open to like reading two 0:48:41.680 --> 0:48:45.000 different things and then just talking about it, like telling 0:48:45.000 --> 0:48:47.200 each other the story about it. It's just more of 0:48:47.239 --> 0:48:50.960 a connectivity. I find watching TV with a partner to 0:48:51.040 --> 0:48:54.200 be pretty lazy, quite frankly. I mean, no judgment, but 0:48:54.320 --> 0:48:55.920 you know, when I do it, I'm always like, what 0:48:55.960 --> 0:48:58.600 are we doing this for? Shouldn't we be like fucking 0:48:58.719 --> 0:49:02.319 or doing something more. I definitely agree, you know, and 0:49:02.360 --> 0:49:04.720 maybe there's some other things you guys can start doing together, 0:49:04.840 --> 0:49:06.840 like going out at night and go into the movies 0:49:07.000 --> 0:49:10.120 or going bowling or stupid shit, you know what I mean. 0:49:10.239 --> 0:49:11.560 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:49:11.640 --> 0:49:13.239 He travels so much for work. 0:49:13.280 --> 0:49:15.040 I feel like it's something he looks forward to, like 0:49:15.200 --> 0:49:19.120 actually being at home and decompressing and enjoying that. And 0:49:19.440 --> 0:49:21.800 my biggest hesitation because I can tell him anything. 0:49:22.360 --> 0:49:23.719 I just he's a. 0:49:23.760 --> 0:49:28.440 Huge overcorrector, so I feel anytime I'll give him feedback, 0:49:28.480 --> 0:49:31.040 you know, help cooking more dinners. The next thing is 0:49:31.040 --> 0:49:35.840 a homemade from scratch lasagna, revel taco night or something. 0:49:35.920 --> 0:49:39.160 So I don't ever want him to feel like a 0:49:39.280 --> 0:49:40.960 huge overcrrection is needed. 0:49:41.080 --> 0:49:45.200 But just you should tell him that, honestly, because like that, right, 0:49:45.400 --> 0:49:48.759 like that is so sweet, and that the fact that 0:49:48.800 --> 0:49:51.920 he's that he's actually like he's listening to you and 0:49:51.960 --> 0:49:54.640 he's hearing what you're saying, and just tell him, like, 0:49:54.680 --> 0:49:57.480 I don't want you to overcorrect, but this habit or 0:49:57.520 --> 0:50:02.239 this this activity is maybe on a group activity for 0:50:02.400 --> 0:50:05.120 me to be included in, and like don't make him 0:50:05.160 --> 0:50:10.239 feel like his interest is like invalid or lame. But 0:50:10.400 --> 0:50:13.360 I think if he will, if he does over correct, 0:50:13.360 --> 0:50:15.640 then maybe there's the potential that he can just correct 0:50:16.320 --> 0:50:19.080 course correct to a different activity together. 0:50:19.239 --> 0:50:21.759 Yeah, play games like play Rummy cue. 0:50:21.520 --> 0:50:27.239 There's always so Yeah, puzzles are just boring though like a. 0:50:28.960 --> 0:50:32.080 Game at least there's like conversation going a little bit 0:50:32.160 --> 0:50:35.399 more than a puzzle. And I just think, like I 0:50:35.480 --> 0:50:37.560 understand if he's tired, and I feel that way when 0:50:37.600 --> 0:50:39.239 I come back from the road, like I'm tired. I 0:50:39.280 --> 0:50:40.759 just want to like get in bed and not think 0:50:40.840 --> 0:50:43.040 I get it. I totally get it. So give a 0:50:43.080 --> 0:50:45.839 couple of options and be malleable, which I'm sure you 0:50:45.880 --> 0:50:49.080 already are. But the most important thing is you don't 0:50:49.120 --> 0:50:51.920 have to care for his feelings into the degree that 0:50:51.920 --> 0:50:54.280 you're talking about when you're talking about and eating disorder, 0:50:54.600 --> 0:50:57.960 like you're the number one priority in that situation. And 0:50:58.080 --> 0:51:00.680 he would say the same thing, yeah, yeah, So like, 0:51:00.800 --> 0:51:05.400 don't apologize for his overcorrection. If he's gonna overcorrect, you 0:51:05.400 --> 0:51:08.440 can tell him, like Madeline said, like you can tell 0:51:08.480 --> 0:51:10.960 him you don't have to overcrack. But also like you 0:51:11.040 --> 0:51:14.560 need to be very honest about your truth. You are 0:51:14.560 --> 0:51:16.360 the number one priority in this situation. 0:51:16.480 --> 0:51:18.400 Yeah, And a great thing to tell him is like 0:51:18.719 --> 0:51:20.440 you can go ahead and watch the show. This is 0:51:20.480 --> 0:51:22.360 your show to watch in the hotel when you're traveling 0:51:22.360 --> 0:51:24.279 for work, Like this is a new show, I just 0:51:24.719 --> 0:51:25.120 I just. 0:51:25.080 --> 0:51:26.120 Can't watch it. 0:51:26.200 --> 0:51:29.080 To get a little more book nerdy about setting the stage. 0:51:28.760 --> 0:51:30.080 For when you're reading together. 0:51:30.239 --> 0:51:32.759 Sure, I like putting on music, but this is like 0:51:32.960 --> 0:51:36.480 very nerdy. You can go on YouTube and find background 0:51:37.080 --> 0:51:38.200 that you put on the TV. 0:51:39.080 --> 0:51:40.080 It's kind of fun. 0:51:40.160 --> 0:51:43.000 Like if I'm reading a spooky book, I'll put on 0:51:43.080 --> 0:51:45.960 a background that's like stormy night and you're in a 0:51:46.000 --> 0:51:47.840 cabin and it's kind of fun. 0:51:48.080 --> 0:51:50.160 Well, you were right to warn me about that advice. 0:51:50.280 --> 0:51:54.160 Thank you. First of all, if I could figure out 0:51:54.200 --> 0:51:55.640 how to fucking do that, my life would be a 0:51:55.680 --> 0:51:58.840 lot different. I could set the settings on my TV screen. 0:51:58.920 --> 0:52:00.840 I mean, I go to houses. I my god, how 0:52:00.880 --> 0:52:03.800 did you do that? But also, yeah, find some stuff 0:52:03.840 --> 0:52:05.600 to do. That's like, you know, there's so much you 0:52:05.640 --> 0:52:08.480 can do, like learn how to play cribbage together, learn 0:52:08.520 --> 0:52:11.279 how to play gin ye, play gin together, play a 0:52:11.320 --> 0:52:14.279 card game. There's other ways to connect and relax that 0:52:14.320 --> 0:52:16.840 don't require like leaving the house. You know, if he 0:52:16.880 --> 0:52:17.960 really wants to chill out. 0:52:18.480 --> 0:52:21.799 I had a small conversation about wanting to have more 0:52:21.840 --> 0:52:24.560 deep conversations with each other a few months ago, and 0:52:25.000 --> 0:52:27.879 he literally went out and bought this card game that's 0:52:27.960 --> 0:52:31.080 for connecting and and then I'm the one. 0:52:30.920 --> 0:52:32.880 Who kind of stopped. 0:52:32.880 --> 0:52:37.239 The questions got real and I kind of shut down 0:52:37.239 --> 0:52:39.520 a little, so I know, we should pick that game 0:52:39.640 --> 0:52:42.600 back up again. He took the effort to hear me 0:52:42.719 --> 0:52:47.000 and move forward with us to connect through that. I just, 0:52:48.200 --> 0:52:49.480 you know, one of the first questions of how have 0:52:49.520 --> 0:52:52.560 I ever let you down? And it just was so 0:52:52.560 --> 0:52:53.600 so deep, so quick. 0:52:55.040 --> 0:52:59.480 Yeah, yeah, I bet there's other card games so that 0:52:59.640 --> 0:53:01.880 I feel there definitely are that are like more conversation 0:53:02.000 --> 0:53:05.560 starters than like relationship bummers you know what, I'll send you. 0:53:06.320 --> 0:53:08.319 I can't remember what they're called, but there are these 0:53:08.360 --> 0:53:11.719 like packs of like conversation starters that you can like 0:53:11.920 --> 0:53:13.680 use together and they're fun when you have guests over 0:53:13.719 --> 0:53:14.680 and super fun. 0:53:15.400 --> 0:53:18.880 Yeah, Perka, thank you so much. Yeah, but definitely, like 0:53:19.200 --> 0:53:22.320 you know that is you're a number one like focus 0:53:22.360 --> 0:53:24.520 on telling the truth you want to know. 0:53:25.080 --> 0:53:27.840 Yes, it's not an excuse, that's a reason and it's. 0:53:28.160 --> 0:53:30.359 Oh there you go. That's another tagline for your other 0:53:30.400 --> 0:53:32.040 brand that we're going to come up with. Yeah, I 0:53:32.080 --> 0:53:33.640 have three brand taglines. 0:53:33.920 --> 0:53:35.479 Will you check back in with us, Have you guys 0:53:35.480 --> 0:53:36.360 have the conversation? 0:53:36.719 --> 0:53:39.440 Yes, absolutely absolutely, I'll follow up. 0:53:39.440 --> 0:53:40.239 Thank you so much. 0:53:40.280 --> 0:53:41.400 All right, thanks Renee. 0:53:42.840 --> 0:53:45.600 I've got lots of couples have problems connecting like after 0:53:45.680 --> 0:53:47.360 a while, because it's like, what do you talk about 0:53:47.440 --> 0:53:50.279 after you've been with somebody for fifteen years? Yeah, you're 0:53:50.320 --> 0:53:53.000 of the generation where everyone was named Madeline because I 0:53:53.000 --> 0:53:56.080 had a cabbage batch kid name or cabbage Batch kids 0:53:56.120 --> 0:53:59.759 were a prelude to a generation of names because everyone name, yes, 0:54:00.040 --> 0:54:04.360 everyone who was my age who named like Gretchen, Gracie Taylor, 0:54:05.520 --> 0:54:08.799 and then then everyone grew up that was my age 0:54:08.800 --> 0:54:12.120 and had babies and then named them those babies. Yeah. Yeah, 0:54:12.160 --> 0:54:14.200 but I like the name made little too. It's a 0:54:14.200 --> 0:54:14.520 good name. 0:54:14.600 --> 0:54:18.440 That's your middle name, Renee. Okay, yeah, I liked Madeline. 0:54:18.680 --> 0:54:21.719 I think I think the story like my parents found 0:54:21.760 --> 0:54:23.399 out that they were going to have me when they 0:54:23.400 --> 0:54:27.400 were visiting there in Paris, and they thought that then 0:54:27.680 --> 0:54:30.520 the book, the Madeline Book was really cute. Oh yeah, 0:54:30.560 --> 0:54:33.680 the Little Cookies. So they just changed the name. 0:54:34.120 --> 0:54:35.040 Do you have siblings? 0:54:35.239 --> 0:54:36.000 I'm an only child? 0:54:36.040 --> 0:54:37.640 Oh really? Yeah. 0:54:37.920 --> 0:54:41.040 They had a hard time having or getting pregnant with me, 0:54:41.239 --> 0:54:46.920 so and then I was apparently very happy, quiet baby. 0:54:47.040 --> 0:54:48.839 So they were like, maybe we should just quit while 0:54:48.880 --> 0:54:51.080 we're ahead. Yeah, but they took me to the doctor 0:54:51.120 --> 0:54:53.120 when I was little because I would not speak. 0:54:53.360 --> 0:54:54.600 How long did it take you to speak? 0:54:54.840 --> 0:54:59.040 Mm? It was pretty quiet up until like maybe when 0:54:59.040 --> 0:55:00.920 I was ten, I just are yapping away? 0:55:01.120 --> 0:55:02.040 What do you mean ten? 0:55:02.280 --> 0:55:04.000 Yeah? I just didn't really speak. Like my mom would 0:55:04.040 --> 0:55:06.399 be like how is your day and be like. 0:55:07.840 --> 0:55:10.520 At six and five, like when you went to school, speak. 0:55:10.360 --> 0:55:12.680 Right, I could speak. I just chose not. I just 0:55:12.719 --> 0:55:14.040 didn't want to. Interesting. 0:55:14.280 --> 0:55:15.719 I must have been concerning for them. 0:55:15.840 --> 0:55:18.520 That's yeah, that's they were like, she's just fine. She 0:55:18.680 --> 0:55:20.400 just she doesn't see a reason. 0:55:21.560 --> 0:55:23.719 It's an interesting attitude for a little kid. 0:55:23.920 --> 0:55:26.480 Yeah, it's so funny, Abstained. 0:55:27.160 --> 0:55:29.160 Yeah, I'm the youngest of six kids, so it would 0:55:29.160 --> 0:55:31.200 never have occurred to me not to speak, because that 0:55:31.280 --> 0:55:32.840 was the only way to get shipped down. 0:55:32.880 --> 0:55:35.760 Or to get like I'm sure to be like yeah heard, Yeah. 0:55:35.600 --> 0:55:37.719 I'm like, fuck all these other people. Yeah, hell no, 0:55:37.880 --> 0:55:41.279 I need some attention. But that if you are an 0:55:41.320 --> 0:55:43.400 only child, why why would you, jock? You're like, I 0:55:43.480 --> 0:55:46.000 got everything I need right here. 0:55:46.120 --> 0:55:50.680 We did lots of puzzles without speaking, did you ye 0:55:50.800 --> 0:55:52.120 while ding puzzle? Yeah? 0:55:56.160 --> 0:55:57.959 Okay, I really want to get to those collars because 0:55:57.960 --> 0:56:01.920 this is a really interesting question. So Hallie is twenty 0:56:01.960 --> 0:56:04.640 seven and her subject line is the twenty seven year 0:56:04.640 --> 0:56:08.520 old with fifteen year old daughters. Dear Chelsea. When I 0:56:08.560 --> 0:56:11.560 was twenty four years old, I accidentally became a mom 0:56:11.640 --> 0:56:14.799 to two twelve year old girls. When I say twenty four, 0:56:14.880 --> 0:56:18.040 I mean barely twenty four. They celebrated their twelfth birthday 0:56:18.040 --> 0:56:22.160 and I celebrated my twenty fourth together. I know, accidentally 0:56:22.239 --> 0:56:24.960 adopted two preteens. Sounds like a story that would involve 0:56:25.000 --> 0:56:28.040 a cult, drugs, possibly a head injury. But I worked 0:56:28.040 --> 0:56:30.640 with foster kids and was started as helping out somehow 0:56:30.680 --> 0:56:34.240 turned into motherhood. And before anyone tells me this is normal, 0:56:34.360 --> 0:56:36.520 I know people start families young all the time. I 0:56:36.640 --> 0:56:39.200 genuinely just never thought it would happen to me. Now 0:56:39.280 --> 0:56:44.400 I'm twenty seven and they're fifteen. I envisioned my twenties dating, traveling, partying, 0:56:44.440 --> 0:56:48.000 and making regrettable decisions. Instead I spent mine explaining to 0:56:48.000 --> 0:56:52.200 two teenage girls why they shouldn't make regrettable decisions. Although 0:56:52.239 --> 0:56:54.160 to be fair, I do try to lead by example. 0:56:54.520 --> 0:56:56.800 To be clear, I love these girls more than anything, 0:56:56.880 --> 0:56:59.319 but I do occasionally feel like I skipped directly from 0:56:59.360 --> 0:57:01.759 age twenty four, or to exhausted mother who's fighting for 0:57:01.840 --> 0:57:04.399 her life every day, and the time flies when you're 0:57:04.400 --> 0:57:08.440 fighting for your life. My biggest fear becoming a grandmother, Chelsea. 0:57:08.560 --> 0:57:11.480 I cannot stress this enough. I am not built for grandmotherhood. 0:57:11.719 --> 0:57:14.160 I still get carted. I have brought them to school hungover. 0:57:14.320 --> 0:57:16.080 Some days, I feel like I'm moving backwards on the 0:57:16.280 --> 0:57:20.160 responsibility scale. I can't cook and have no understanding of finances. 0:57:20.200 --> 0:57:22.920 There's absolutely nothing about me that says mom, much less grandma. 0:57:23.400 --> 0:57:25.080 So now I spend most of my time trying to 0:57:25.200 --> 0:57:29.160 raise two independent, responsible, successful young women, while simultaneously begging 0:57:29.200 --> 0:57:30.880 them not to do anything that could result in me 0:57:30.960 --> 0:57:34.880 raising another child. Here's my question. Am I delusional for 0:57:35.000 --> 0:57:38.040 looking at the calendar and thinking, Okay, when these girls graduate, 0:57:38.120 --> 0:57:40.560 I can finally have my twenties or is that selfish? 0:57:40.960 --> 0:57:41.600 Is there such a. 0:57:41.520 --> 0:57:43.960 Thing as a delayed young adult phase? Can I be 0:57:44.000 --> 0:57:46.040 grateful for my life and still feel like I missed 0:57:46.080 --> 0:57:46.560 a chapter? 0:57:46.960 --> 0:57:47.840 Or am I just a mom? 0:57:47.920 --> 0:57:48.120 Now? 0:57:49.160 --> 0:57:52.480 Honestly, I'm receptive to any advice, criticism, reality checks are 0:57:52.520 --> 0:57:54.920 tough love. I'm just desperate for at least one person 0:57:54.960 --> 0:57:56.720 not to answer with, well, what did you think was 0:57:56.760 --> 0:57:57.320 going to happen? 0:57:57.440 --> 0:57:58.960 Because clearly I was not thinking. 0:57:59.280 --> 0:58:03.480 Sincerely, Halle, Hi, Halle, Hi, Helle Hi. 0:58:03.680 --> 0:58:06.080 This is our special guest, Madeline Client is here today. 0:58:06.240 --> 0:58:06.560 Hello. 0:58:07.320 --> 0:58:10.960 Hey, First of all, way to go. That is awesome 0:58:11.080 --> 0:58:13.640 and generous and loving and such a thing that a 0:58:13.680 --> 0:58:16.560 woman would do is adopt to twelve year olds. So 0:58:16.880 --> 0:58:19.360 that's awesome that you did that. And you're giving them 0:58:19.360 --> 0:58:22.280 a stable home, and you're giving them love, and you're 0:58:22.280 --> 0:58:25.960 giving them an education on life. So all of these 0:58:26.000 --> 0:58:28.920 things are beautiful. Are you delusional to think that you 0:58:28.960 --> 0:58:31.720 can have your own life once they hopefully are they 0:58:31.720 --> 0:58:35.000 going to go to college? These girls, that's the hope. Yeah, 0:58:35.000 --> 0:58:37.439 they want to. Yeah, okay, great, that's all they need 0:58:37.480 --> 0:58:39.280 is to want to do it and then that will 0:58:39.320 --> 0:58:43.240 most likely happen. No, you're not delusional. Yes, you're gonna 0:58:43.240 --> 0:58:46.880 have your life. This is fucking awesome that you already 0:58:46.920 --> 0:58:50.800 have too. Sixteen fifteen or they're fifteen now right, three 0:58:50.880 --> 0:58:55.360 years okay, you have two more years of this until 0:58:55.360 --> 0:58:58.919 they go to college. Two more years. Dive into them 0:58:58.960 --> 0:59:01.360 big time. Make sure they know that you are not 0:59:01.400 --> 0:59:03.600 going to be a grandmother. Make sure that they are 0:59:03.760 --> 0:59:07.720 educated about birth control. Get them injected with whatever nouva 0:59:07.800 --> 0:59:10.080 ring they need to have. I don't know why I 0:59:10.120 --> 0:59:12.760 touched my elbow or the inside. I was thinking of 0:59:12.800 --> 0:59:14.440 my v because that's how you get a neuva ring 0:59:14.480 --> 0:59:20.480 in my mind, you know. But just make sure that 0:59:20.520 --> 0:59:22.680 they are you know, they've got it. They don't want 0:59:22.680 --> 0:59:24.440 to have a baby. Do they want to have a baby? 0:59:25.480 --> 0:59:30.760 No, But I just worry where Okay, but don't worry 0:59:30.800 --> 0:59:33.120 about things that haven't happened, do you know what I mean? 0:59:33.600 --> 0:59:37.000 That's just like you're almost almost like manifesting it by 0:59:37.000 --> 0:59:39.840 worrying about it so much that you should probably flip 0:59:39.880 --> 0:59:41.600 it and reverse it and be like, they would never 0:59:41.680 --> 0:59:44.360 do such a thing to me. You're not even their 0:59:44.720 --> 0:59:48.040 biological mother, Like how could you be expected to raise another, 0:59:48.520 --> 0:59:52.040 you know, generation of children. Like that's just like that's 0:59:52.040 --> 0:59:55.520 not a default setting in my viewpoint. You would be 0:59:55.560 --> 0:59:57.280 there to help, but you're not going to be there 0:59:57.360 --> 1:00:00.240 to you know, step in and raise a baby. So 1:00:00.760 --> 1:00:02.520 obviously have you made that clear to them? 1:00:03.040 --> 1:00:03.480 I did. 1:00:03.840 --> 1:00:08.120 I just worried because they create like negative attention. 1:00:08.200 --> 1:00:10.160 A lot of the time, uh huh, And. 1:00:10.080 --> 1:00:12.240 So I try to give them space to kind of 1:00:12.240 --> 1:00:14.120 be who they are, figure out who they are, but 1:00:14.320 --> 1:00:17.120 also while set in boundaries and it's just a little difficult. 1:00:17.320 --> 1:00:19.800 Yeah. Yeah, And do you have someone who helps you, like, 1:00:19.840 --> 1:00:21.640 do you have like a parenting coach or do you 1:00:21.800 --> 1:00:24.160 like how do you how do you know how to 1:00:24.200 --> 1:00:28.240 do this. You're just figuring it out as you go Google. Yeah. Great, 1:00:28.480 --> 1:00:31.280 Well that's what most parents are doing anyway, So don't 1:00:31.280 --> 1:00:34.760 worry about that. But the broader question is you're going 1:00:34.840 --> 1:00:36.640 to have your own life. The fact that you have 1:00:36.680 --> 1:00:38.360 two kids that are going to college when you're going 1:00:38.440 --> 1:00:40.880 to be like twenty nine years old, that's when your 1:00:40.880 --> 1:00:42.000 life is going to begin again. 1:00:42.200 --> 1:00:45.680 We were just talking about at the beginning of this 1:00:45.880 --> 1:00:48.880 podcast was how excited I am from my thirties because 1:00:49.640 --> 1:00:51.320 I feel like they're going to be even more awesome 1:00:51.360 --> 1:00:54.120 than my twenties. So I feel like. 1:00:54.200 --> 1:00:56.400 They are and they are awesome. I'm here to tell 1:00:56.400 --> 1:00:59.000 you it gets better as you age as a woman. 1:00:59.080 --> 1:01:01.560 It just keeps getting better and better and better. You're 1:01:01.600 --> 1:01:03.520 more like, look what you've already accomplished. 1:01:03.720 --> 1:01:04.000 Cool. 1:01:04.080 --> 1:01:06.960 Most people are gonna be like ten years from where 1:01:07.000 --> 1:01:09.760 you are, raising seventeen year old children or fifteen year 1:01:09.800 --> 1:01:11.600 old children, do you know what I mean? Like, you 1:01:11.680 --> 1:01:14.560 have an advantage because you were so young, so stop 1:01:14.640 --> 1:01:16.840 looking at it as a disadvantage and look at it 1:01:16.880 --> 1:01:19.520 as an advantage. You gave these girls a safe place 1:01:19.520 --> 1:01:24.200 to grow up, so like that is invaluable like beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, 1:01:24.560 --> 1:01:27.439 and yeah, and so like you have like the whole 1:01:27.480 --> 1:01:30.080 world ahead of you, and of course you're missing out 1:01:30.120 --> 1:01:32.959 on this time in your twenties, but honestly, this isn't 1:01:32.960 --> 1:01:35.560 the best time of your life anyway. Like your thirties 1:01:35.560 --> 1:01:37.800 are going to be even better than your twenties. So 1:01:37.920 --> 1:01:39.840 then you can be free, and then you could go 1:01:39.880 --> 1:01:41.800 out and spread your wings. 1:01:41.440 --> 1:01:45.760 And fly when you're smarter and cooler than ever. Yes, yes, absolutely. 1:01:45.400 --> 1:01:48.000 Hope so yeah, yeah, but don't hope. So no, So 1:01:48.160 --> 1:01:51.720 that's what's gonna happen. Where do you live? I live 1:01:51.800 --> 1:01:54.160 in Louisiana? Okay? I was gonna say that accent I 1:01:54.160 --> 1:01:58.160 couldn't quite place, and that's usually Louisiana when you can't 1:01:58.160 --> 1:02:02.040 place it. Are you in New Orleans? Another part close 1:02:02.120 --> 1:02:05.240 by New Orleans? Okay? So how did these girls come 1:02:05.280 --> 1:02:06.120 into your life? 1:02:06.520 --> 1:02:09.480 I work with kids in the Foster hair system, and 1:02:09.520 --> 1:02:12.160 I worked closely with them. They went home with their 1:02:12.280 --> 1:02:14.520 dad and I just kind of kept in touch just 1:02:14.560 --> 1:02:19.720 in case, and one day he dropped him off and 1:02:19.760 --> 1:02:22.400 said pretty much he can't do it anymore. 1:02:22.560 --> 1:02:23.480 And I tried to. 1:02:23.440 --> 1:02:25.120 Work with them the best that I could, but then 1:02:25.160 --> 1:02:29.040 it was like I had to make a decision to 1:02:29.040 --> 1:02:32.440 step up or I would have had to be the 1:02:32.480 --> 1:02:34.680 bad guy and put them back where they did not 1:02:34.760 --> 1:02:37.760 want to go. And so I mean it was the 1:02:37.840 --> 1:02:40.120 easy yes for me at the time. I just I 1:02:40.200 --> 1:02:44.720 didn't think future, Like I wasn't thinking what my life 1:02:44.720 --> 1:02:47.000 would look like, you know, five years from that moment 1:02:47.120 --> 1:02:47.560 or whatever. 1:02:47.720 --> 1:02:49.920 And how good for those girls that you weren't thinking. 1:02:50.040 --> 1:02:52.960 You know, yeah, yeah, you did it. That's a beautiful 1:02:53.000 --> 1:02:55.840 thing that you've done. And these girls aren't gonna they 1:02:56.080 --> 1:02:58.000 they're gonna get it. They're not gonna go out and 1:02:58.040 --> 1:03:00.280 get pregnant. And if they do get pregnant, then hoefully 1:03:00.320 --> 1:03:02.320 they'll get an abortion and they won't have a baby 1:03:02.320 --> 1:03:04.560 before they're ready to have a child, you know what 1:03:04.600 --> 1:03:07.960 I mean. Like people do make mistakes and that then 1:03:08.160 --> 1:03:10.840 and you can you know, I don't know if Louisiana 1:03:10.880 --> 1:03:13.600 is a state where you can, but whatever. Don't like 1:03:13.760 --> 1:03:17.160 think about that aspect of things. Just make sure they're educated, 1:03:17.160 --> 1:03:20.240 which I know you already are doing about getting pregnant 1:03:20.400 --> 1:03:22.960 and about protecting themselves. And I understand that young girls 1:03:23.000 --> 1:03:26.000 get off on negative attention. I know that, and that 1:03:26.040 --> 1:03:28.120 can be a bad habit, but it's also kind of 1:03:28.160 --> 1:03:29.160 part of growing. 1:03:28.920 --> 1:03:32.280 Up and the fact that you're also like allowing them 1:03:32.400 --> 1:03:36.440 space while also setting boundaries with them and like allowing 1:03:36.480 --> 1:03:40.400 them to be individuals with their own thoughts and feelings, 1:03:40.440 --> 1:03:45.320 and you're not you're not helicoptering them. You're allowing them 1:03:45.360 --> 1:03:50.240 to grow up and still teach them and tell them 1:03:50.240 --> 1:03:53.680 to like learn from me. Is that is so amazing? Yea, 1:03:53.920 --> 1:03:57.040 Like the the lessons and the freedoms that you're giving 1:03:57.080 --> 1:04:01.400 them is truly Like, especially I know it's so difficult 1:04:01.560 --> 1:04:06.240 when when they're teenagers. I remember like how annoying I was, 1:04:06.840 --> 1:04:10.520 But like I was always so grateful when my parents 1:04:10.680 --> 1:04:14.080 gave me a little bit of freedom, So I trust 1:04:14.200 --> 1:04:14.720 and trust. 1:04:14.800 --> 1:04:16.920 Yes, I think the way to build trust is to 1:04:17.360 --> 1:04:20.240 give people a little latitude and seeing what they come 1:04:20.280 --> 1:04:23.760 back with. Like sometimes when you trust people who haven't 1:04:24.200 --> 1:04:28.080 been entrusted before, they really value that, you know what 1:04:28.080 --> 1:04:30.440 I mean. So it's like giving them a little of 1:04:30.480 --> 1:04:34.640 latitude and seeing how they respond in that situation. And yeah, 1:04:34.640 --> 1:04:37.200 I'm sure these girls are like endlessly grateful to you. 1:04:37.920 --> 1:04:38.320 They are. 1:04:38.800 --> 1:04:41.280 It's I just want to make sure that I'm doing 1:04:41.360 --> 1:04:43.919 the best possible thing. And I know that no parent 1:04:44.000 --> 1:04:47.200 is perfect, like for sure, but that's why I'm always 1:04:47.240 --> 1:04:49.760 willing to learn and to hear from other people. 1:04:50.240 --> 1:04:52.680 Yeah, you do, you are. You're doing a great job. 1:04:52.880 --> 1:04:56.880 You are and calling and asking questions and being open 1:04:56.920 --> 1:04:59.760 to that is also great. I have no doubt that 1:04:59.840 --> 1:05:02.160 you the best influence that these girls have ever had. 1:05:02.720 --> 1:05:03.280 Thank you. 1:05:03.400 --> 1:05:08.920 Yeah. Yeah, so just hold tight and then get your 1:05:08.960 --> 1:05:11.280 pussy out when they go to college and get the 1:05:11.320 --> 1:05:12.440 fucking party started. 1:05:13.680 --> 1:05:14.600 Yeah, I can't wait. 1:05:17.520 --> 1:05:20.000 Okay, thanks for calling, Kelly. 1:05:20.320 --> 1:05:21.200 Thank y'all. 1:05:21.520 --> 1:05:22.280 Bye bye. 1:05:24.160 --> 1:05:25.600 I love accent. 1:05:26.000 --> 1:05:28.520 I know. It was like I was like, where is 1:05:28.720 --> 1:05:30.840 and then she said something else and I'm like, wait, no, 1:05:30.920 --> 1:05:34.640 that's not Mississi, And then that is occasion accent for sure. 1:05:35.360 --> 1:05:36.320 Yeah. 1:05:36.440 --> 1:05:39.280 Okay, Well that's our episode of Madeline Kline, who has 1:05:39.360 --> 1:05:42.920 been so cute and oh my god, you guys can 1:05:42.960 --> 1:05:45.240 watch Outer Banks. Season five is going to be on 1:05:45.280 --> 1:05:47.640 Netflix in a couple of weeks. In a couple of 1:05:47.680 --> 1:05:56.000 weeks August twentieth. Everybody, they have a couple tongues like draff. 1:06:03.680 --> 1:06:07.400 If you want advice from Chelsea, write into Dear Chelsea Podcast. 1:06:06.960 --> 1:06:11.040 At gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartMedia. 1:06:11.320 --> 1:06:14.280 Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler, and find 1:06:14.360 --> 1:06:18.160 Katherine on TikTok at flash Cadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited 1:06:18.200 --> 1:06:22.320 and engineered by Brandon Dickert executive producer Katherine Law. Find 1:06:22.360 --> 1:06:25.520 full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix, and get 1:06:25.520 --> 1:06:33.720 tickets to see Chelsea live at Chelseahanler dot com