Speaker 1: Really now, really, really.
Speaker 2: Now, really Hello, and welcome to really know Really with
Speaker 2: Jason Alexander and Peter Tilden, who keep melodically reminding you
Speaker 2: to subscribe, subscribe, subscribe, as if we're singing some kind
Speaker 2: of Christmas Carol, and speaking of Carol. Comedy writer and
Speaker 2: stand up comic legend Carol Leafer has written some of
Speaker 2: the funniest shows on television, including the OSCARS broadcast, The
Speaker 2: Larry Sanders Show, Saturday Night Live, and Seinfeld, for which
Speaker 2: her one time romance and subsequent friendship with Jerry Seinfeld
Speaker 2: became the real life role model for the character of
Speaker 2: Elaine Vennis.
Speaker 1: Really No Really.
Speaker 2: Her whole career has been about writing things that make
Speaker 2: people funnier, and today she's talking about her new book
Speaker 2: that can actually help you and everyone you know be
Speaker 2: funnier and better at speechify. It's called How to Write
Speaker 2: a Funny speech for a wedding, bar mitzvah, graduation, and
Speaker 2: every other event you didn't want to go to in
Speaker 2: the first place. See even the title's funny. Today, she
Speaker 2: talks to the guys about life, love, and her story
Speaker 2: career that has led to multiple Emmy nominations and a
Speaker 2: win for her outstanding contribution to the hit show Hacks.
Speaker 2: And speaking of Hacks, here are two of the best
Speaker 2: ones in the biz, Jezon Alexander and Peter Tilden.
Speaker 1: Now, how we going to get into this one? You
Speaker 1: know how many episodes have we done? One hundred and what?
Speaker 3: But it feels like one hundred episodes underwater one hundred and.
Speaker 4: I always wonder how we're going to start, how we're
Speaker 4: going to start, how we're going to do this one.
Speaker 3: Feels like Larry, I can't do this, can't be done again.
Speaker 3: The reason we have Carol leifer.
Speaker 5: On, I'm here to promote my book, by the way,
Speaker 5: unusually long.
Speaker 4: How to write a funny speech dot dot dot for
Speaker 4: a wedding, by mits, for graduation and every other event
Speaker 4: you didn't want to go to in the first place.
Speaker 3: And it's a template in there, right, Yes, so you
Speaker 3: can write speak like a mad lab.
Speaker 1: I can use one page. I'm gonna loved.
Speaker 3: And Jerry and we may use his name always said
Speaker 3: that giving speeches ranks above. It's the thing people are
Speaker 3: the scaredest about because they're to get up in front
Speaker 3: of people, even my wife get up and go just know,
Speaker 3: write something that you can't wait to tell him. We'd
Speaker 3: be you know, have moments, you know, but people get panic.
Speaker 3: Do you think Jerry's act, he says at a funeral,
Speaker 3: the guy speaking is worse off than the coffee. As
Speaker 3: far as that goes, death doesn't still stuck on. Scaredest,
Speaker 3: more scared, more frightened, Yes, more scared, more frightened.
Speaker 4: That those are two words that exist in the Scaredest
Speaker 4: is someone who you know, like racist scaredest, They like, yeah, scared.
Speaker 3: I make my point of memorable. One of the things
Speaker 3: you do is memorable.
Speaker 4: Be memorable relief because I got to spend lovely time
Speaker 4: with her on our show together when I was learning
Speaker 4: all about comedy and television and you were just.
Speaker 1: God, come on, come on.
Speaker 4: That was I have to say, I don't know anybody
Speaker 4: else's experience. I had a great time while we were
Speaker 4: doing the show I did. I was always grateful, and
Speaker 4: did anybody. I don't know if you checked everybody, but
Speaker 4: I have grown more fond of it in distance, you know,
Speaker 4: I guess because when you're doing once it's hit you
Speaker 4: kind of went, oh, yeah, I'm on a big TV show,
Speaker 4: what's next?
Speaker 1: What's next? And in retrospect, you look back and go,
Speaker 1: what's next.
Speaker 4: Most people don't get that, you know, for God's sake
Speaker 4: exactly to just sit and go with I always say,
Speaker 4: you know, any any project is an arranged marriage. You
Speaker 4: don't know what you're who you're getting. I don't know anything.
Speaker 4: And I loved the people, love the material, love the characters. Yeah,
Speaker 4: it was just it was the whole thing was really
Speaker 4: a blessing. And though I was aware of it, I
Speaker 4: think I'm you know, exponentially more aware of You.
Speaker 5: Know, the thing I always say about the show is
Speaker 5: you guys individually I mean amazing, but put together it
Speaker 5: was like lightning in a.
Speaker 6: Bottle and it just all worked.
Speaker 5: And in talking about what a great place to work
Speaker 5: it was, I mean, also, don't you think the tone
Speaker 5: that Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld said it kind of
Speaker 5: you know, the think you know, the fish stinks from
Speaker 5: the top down, like when it's good guys at the top.
Speaker 5: You know, the love that they spread, the crew, everybody
Speaker 5: loved everybody.
Speaker 4: And also the you know, well Jerry talks about this
Speaker 4: about writing stand up and I'm sure you can speak.
Speaker 1: To this as well.
Speaker 4: It's how much do you care how much are you
Speaker 4: going to put into it? And I remember, I mean,
Speaker 4: Jerry told a great story recently about when they came
Speaker 4: up with the ending for the Marine Biologist, and he
Speaker 4: talks about it in praise of me learning the monologue,
Speaker 4: which was, you know, that's just a card trick. But
Speaker 4: what I tell the story about is they had an
Speaker 4: ending that we were all very excited about during the week,
Speaker 4: and then we got it in front of the audience
Speaker 4: and it didn't quite.
Speaker 1: Get the reaction. You remember what it was.
Speaker 4: I don't. I wasn't because I wasn't in it. My
Speaker 4: storyline stopped when I walked out into the ocean.
Speaker 6: That's so funny.
Speaker 4: But I think it was a coffee shop scene and
Speaker 4: I don't remember what storyline we were tying up, and
Speaker 4: it wasn't mine. Yeah, and they did the scene in
Speaker 4: front of the audience and it got a fine reaction,
Speaker 4: but they just went and I remember the you guys
Speaker 4: all circle the wagons, the circle of wagons of writers,
Speaker 4: And fifteen minutes later Larry comes over and goes, how
Speaker 4: FSK can you learn them all? But I always go
Speaker 4: to have that idea in their back pocket. Yes, work
Speaker 4: it out while the audience is sitting there and not
Speaker 4: we were a hit show at this point.
Speaker 1: They could have let it go.
Speaker 3: Let it go on that note, because I'm thinking back,
Speaker 3: there was a scene with the ugly people in the restaurant, yes,
Speaker 3: and they needed a line, Kerb and Larry needed a line,
Speaker 3: and your line was right.
Speaker 5: He needed a line when he saw the ugly people
Speaker 5: as he was walking through. So I gave him what
Speaker 5: happened here.
Speaker 3: But that's that kind of thing where you're stay there
Speaker 3: embedded in my brain. But that's the writing. That's when
Speaker 3: people say, what.
Speaker 1: Is it the writing?
Speaker 4: But and again another compliment for care, it's writing for
Speaker 4: the guy you're writing for. I mean, in and of itself,
Speaker 4: it's a smart line, but it's not as my home run.
Speaker 3: I mean that jumped out because I remember writing for shows.
Speaker 3: I wrote for a lot of sitcoms of Earth, and
Speaker 3: I hated it more than anything. I hate sitting in
Speaker 3: writer's rooms trying to guess what's in the executive prinster's head.
Speaker 3: And I'd watch it on t VINGO. It's not that funny,
Speaker 3: right right. I hated the writer's rooms. But your experience
Speaker 3: on Curb and also with Seinfold was pitching big idea.
Speaker 3: It was a big idea show rather than a whole
Speaker 3: story with a bit whatever. Did you have to pitch
Speaker 3: ABC and D story like stories for each each of them,
Speaker 3: how they intersected or did you just go in and say,
Speaker 3: nail saloon. She can't understand what they're saying, so she
Speaker 3: hires somebody to interpret. Well.
Speaker 5: It was an interesting process at Seinfeld on NBC, by
Speaker 5: the way, like unlike a lot of other shows where
Speaker 5: there's a group writing room, it was one on one.
Speaker 5: You'd have an idea, you'd go in with a few
Speaker 5: ideas because time with Larry and Jerry in their office
Speaker 5: that they shared was rare. So you'd go in and
Speaker 5: you'd sit on the couch and they would sit at
Speaker 5: their desk and you would pitch the idea. But knowing,
Speaker 5: you know, and a bunch of the ideas, you know,
Speaker 5: you always knew when Larry didn't like it, because it'd
Speaker 5: be like the look on his face and he'd move
Speaker 5: his shoulder and he'd be like, I don't know. You know,
Speaker 5: you could see that on another show that was like
Speaker 5: the worst. But but like I remember it like it
Speaker 5: was yesterday when I pitched George brings a deaf woman
Speaker 5: to a party with him to find out why his
Speaker 5: girlfriend broke up with him.
Speaker 6: You know, Larry would shoot up from his chair. Yeah
Speaker 6: we're doing that. Yeah, we're doing that.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 5: So you started to get an idea of what kind
Speaker 5: of things they were going to respond to and what things.
Speaker 4: So once he said you were doing that, then you
Speaker 4: got sent off and do a drift.
Speaker 5: Well that was your story, and then it was Jerry.
Speaker 5: Remember it was all about the lines woman, Marley Matten Marley,
Speaker 5: So then that became Jerry's story with her with Marley Mattlin,
Speaker 5: with the lip reading and mistaking, sweep I need to
Speaker 5: sweep up with sleep with somebody, So that became that story.
Speaker 5: A Laine's story, Oh that was with another. You know,
Speaker 5: they always loved personal ideas, so at that before I
Speaker 5: joined the show, I was a comic full time, and
Speaker 5: you know, I'd have these flights at like five in
Speaker 5: the morning and a car service guy would pick me
Speaker 5: up and he'd be like chatty Kathy at five am,
Speaker 5: you know, like on and on, and sometimes I wished,
Speaker 5: like I could tell them I was deaf so they
Speaker 5: would shut the So I pitched that story for Elane
Speaker 5: that she pretends that she's deaf cause she doesn't want
Speaker 5: to talk to the car service guy. And then the
Speaker 5: story for Kramer Jason. As you know, the stories we
Speaker 5: could come up with for Michael Richards were always well,
Speaker 5: if we have a tennis setting, well Kramer should be a.
Speaker 1: Ball man at the US Open.
Speaker 5: You know, he was easy to come up with ideas
Speaker 5: far because he was so.
Speaker 6: Physical and it was like you knew that would be
Speaker 6: a home run.
Speaker 5: So you had to go back to your office, figure
Speaker 5: out the other three stories, go back to them and
Speaker 5: say what do you think of these other stories, and
Speaker 5: then go and write your draft. And then the beauty
Speaker 5: of Seinfeld was you know, normally writers we hate being
Speaker 5: rewritten and you know, get surly about it. You'd wait
Speaker 5: outside the door to see what their draft was because
Speaker 5: as a writer, I love to see what they kept
Speaker 5: of my draft and then what they changed or added,
Speaker 5: because and I learned so much from that because the
Speaker 5: draft would always be that much better, you know, elevated
Speaker 5: to another degree. So it was really a great education
Speaker 5: for me. And you know, learning I think from the masters.
Speaker 3: So you were one of the funniest people I know,
Speaker 3: and it's hard to do what you do. The Oscars
Speaker 3: are a hard thing because it's a you got to
Speaker 3: figure out, especially Lissia with Conan and the politics are
Speaker 3: going on, and you're you're walking a tightrope and you
Speaker 3: have to know his personality. You have to know culturally
Speaker 3: what's going on. You have to know what's going to
Speaker 3: resonate with a big audience. Yeah, and then you're watching
Speaker 3: the whole show to see what moments are happening that
Speaker 3: you can then mention.
Speaker 1: Right, Well, here's the thing.
Speaker 5: When I write on the Oscars, sometimes I'm on the
Speaker 5: host team and sometimes on the on the show team,
Speaker 5: where you write.
Speaker 6: For the presenters.
Speaker 5: So Conan brought in I think it's mostly, if not all,
Speaker 5: the writers from his show that he has a comfort
Speaker 5: with and ease with. And I was on the show team,
Speaker 5: so we write, you know, the team rights for the presenters.
Speaker 5: But what I think was masterful about Conan was not
Speaker 5: only were the jokes brilliant, but in the moment he
Speaker 5: was amazing and having uh, you know, this stable of
Speaker 5: incredible comedy writers there was perfect. And the story that
Speaker 5: I'm telling about the Oscars a lot is I know Conan,
Speaker 5: and so before the show I went up to wish
Speaker 5: him good luck and he said he looked great, relaxed,
Speaker 5: and he said, you know what, I'm just going to
Speaker 5: go out and have fun. And you know, God damn it,
Speaker 5: that's what he did, which is amazing. Yeah, because I've
Speaker 5: seen the look of fear of other hosts before they
Speaker 5: go out, you know, and that's what it's all about.
Speaker 6: Go out and have fun.
Speaker 3: And Jerry, Jerry Seinfeld did a benefit for us Jason
Speaker 3: and asked him and he did a wonderful benefit. It
Speaker 3: was him as Ray Ramono. Jason did some stand up
Speaker 3: and Jerry and you would know this. Jerry's about to
Speaker 3: go out stage and I go nervous and he looked
Speaker 3: at me like I had a third off. He went like,
Speaker 3: you're an idiot, Like why would I be Why would
Speaker 3: I be nervous? He couldn't wait to go do it
Speaker 3: is like zero nerves. You just can't. It's like this
Speaker 3: is what I do. There's no nerve.
Speaker 5: That's I think he's the exception to that because and
Speaker 5: we talk about it in my speech book, which I
Speaker 5: know we'll get to. But I get I get anxious,
Speaker 5: I get nervous before I perform always and that you know, people,
Speaker 5: I'm not afraid of my nervousness because, as you know
Speaker 5: Jason also as a performer, it gives you a certain
Speaker 5: amount of energy that's good to bring out on stage
Speaker 5: with you. So you know, Jerry is his own performer
Speaker 5: and person in many ways. And yeah, he sure does
Speaker 5: look forward to it. But I think what people don't
Speaker 5: necessarily realize about him is he might not be nervous
Speaker 5: because he works so hard on his act all day
Speaker 5: writing that he goes out there prepared. He's not just
Speaker 5: winging it, and I think that gives him probably a sense.
Speaker 4: Of comment and he's got you know, forty years of
Speaker 4: backup acky.
Speaker 3: But then I think he was confident, you know, doing
Speaker 3: what he was doing.
Speaker 5: Yeah, because I first started at the Comic Strip, he
Speaker 5: was the MC. I was the open mic nighter that
Speaker 5: I went to with Paul Reiser. But he was already
Speaker 5: a star at the comic Strip. He'd only been doing
Speaker 5: it a year, but he was like the big man
Speaker 5: on campus. So even when I met him as someone
Speaker 5: just starting out in the business, he was already a
Speaker 5: big mocker.
Speaker 6: As our people.
Speaker 1: Yes, as we say, yes, all right, I watched this segment.
Speaker 4: So, uh, you've written this book which I'm going to
Speaker 4: hold up how to write a funny speech for a
Speaker 4: wedding but mits for graduation and every other event he
Speaker 4: didn't want to go to in.
Speaker 1: The first place.
Speaker 4: And I want to ask you about writing this book, okay,
Speaker 4: and why you.
Speaker 1: Thought to write this book.
Speaker 4: But before I do that, yes, writing, So I do
Speaker 4: remember you because I'm old enough. I remember when you
Speaker 4: started making the scene, especially on television as as a
Speaker 4: stand up comedy. Yes, yes, and I now, of course
Speaker 4: stand up comedy is writing. But but to me, stand
Speaker 4: up come comedians want to be performers.
Speaker 1: There.
Speaker 4: I think most stand up comments that I know think
Speaker 4: of themselves primarily as performers that.
Speaker 6: We need a lot of attention.
Speaker 1: Yes, but arguably.
Speaker 4: I think at this point the bigger part of your
Speaker 4: professional life has been as a writer.
Speaker 1: Yes, did you know that was where you were heading?
Speaker 1: Were you happy that's where it went to? Was it?
Speaker 1: Did it shock you or did you go no? This?
Speaker 1: I know this was part of the plan.
Speaker 5: Well, I'll take you back to a story about my dad,
Speaker 5: who was a big influence on me and wanted to
Speaker 5: go into stand up. I was doing stand up and
Speaker 5: then there was audition for Saturday Night Live for new
Speaker 5: performers at the Comic Strip and I went on. I
Speaker 5: had a good set, and Al Franken was there as
Speaker 5: a producer and the head writer Jim Downey, And when
Speaker 5: I came off stage, they said, we really enjoyed you.
Speaker 5: Would you like to be a writer on the show.
Speaker 5: So of course, you know, I was so excited at
Speaker 5: the possibility. And I went back to my dad and
Speaker 5: I said, they've offered me a writing jump, but you know,
Speaker 5: I love to perform.
Speaker 6: And I want to be a stand up. My dad
Speaker 6: was like, you.
Speaker 5: Know what, Carol, in any career, you got to diversify.
Speaker 5: So if I were you, I would take no questions
Speaker 5: asked jump at this writing job.
Speaker 6: And I did.
Speaker 5: I followed his advice and I did see that. Hm,
Speaker 5: I do like this writing too. And what's been great
Speaker 5: about it over the years is stand up is amazing.
Speaker 6: I still do it.
Speaker 5: I was just performing this weekend at wolf Trap. I mean,
Speaker 5: I love it. But the great thing about writing is
Speaker 5: anna is a lonely profession. You're traveling by yourself, without
Speaker 5: an agent and a manager. You're in the podunk this
Speaker 5: you're in this town and once I was in a
Speaker 5: writer's room with other writers. I loved it. I felt
Speaker 5: like I'm home. I'm with every funniest person that I've
Speaker 5: ever known, and how great is this? And also it's
Speaker 5: a profession where you don't have to travel, and especially
Speaker 5: now being married having a kid, that was the saving
Speaker 5: grace to.
Speaker 3: Menstly, that was tough for you because from what I understand,
Speaker 3: Frank brought you in, but Lauren Michaels never gave his blessing.
Speaker 3: It was not he never accepted you what he did.
Speaker 6: I love this story because, from what I.
Speaker 3: Understand, prank of Bart you in, but Lauren Michaels never
Speaker 3: gave his bless It was not he never accepted you
Speaker 3: or he did.
Speaker 5: I love this story because you know people like, oh,
Speaker 5: you wrote for refn L.
Speaker 6: Do you have your meeting with Lauren to make it official?
Speaker 5: So I got dressed up and I thought, you know,
Speaker 5: I'll be in there for an hour and I have
Speaker 5: every answer ready. It was literally the meeting was they
Speaker 5: were still auditioning performers for the season. He walks outside
Speaker 5: the door. He says, al and Jim, tell me that
Speaker 5: you're really good. You do know that the show you're
Speaker 5: going to have to stay late many nights, Tuesday nights,
Speaker 5: most writers stay over. I say, yeah, no, that's mine.
Speaker 5: I went okay, and I was hired.
Speaker 1: So that my meeting was about a minute.
Speaker 6: But when I got there, Lauren had a bit of
Speaker 6: a club.
Speaker 5: I think a lot of people who run a show,
Speaker 5: you know, the people that they avitate too. And I
Speaker 5: wasn't part of the club, so I always felt kind
Speaker 5: of on the outs that way. But as a young
Speaker 5: writer or a young person my inexperience, as I've learned
Speaker 5: over the years, I kind of like accepted it and
Speaker 5: kind of flew under his radar. Now doing this for
Speaker 5: forty years, I would have done it differently.
Speaker 6: You know, if someone doesn't.
Speaker 5: Take to you right away, I would have tried harder
Speaker 5: for him to like me, you know, engaged him more,
Speaker 5: made more of a college try to work it out
Speaker 5: instead of like, well, I'll side step him, because that's
Speaker 5: that's what you need to do at a job.
Speaker 6: Your boss needs to like you a lot.
Speaker 5: You know. Jim Downey and Al Franken were you know,
Speaker 5: second level and they liked me great. But he has
Speaker 5: a thing plaque on his desk. You know, the captain's
Speaker 5: word is law and it sure has served him well
Speaker 5: over the years. But know he's the big number.
Speaker 3: One of the writers said that you go in and
Speaker 3: you just make sure you put two things together because
Speaker 3: you can't create the volume that you have to come
Speaker 3: up with ideas. So he goes, uh, the submarine loaga maker.
Speaker 3: You know, you're just you're throwing and they go do
Speaker 3: it and you go, I have no idea what that is?
Speaker 3: And I got to go back.
Speaker 1: Is that accurate?
Speaker 5: Yes, Because the way the show works is Monday, the
Speaker 5: host come in, comes in. They you all go to
Speaker 5: Lauren's office. The host is sitting in kind of a
Speaker 5: chair of prominence, and then talk about pressure.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 5: They go around the room in Lauren's office. I remember,
Speaker 5: what are you thinking about? What kind of sketter you
Speaker 5: thinking of doing this week? And Yeah, a lot of
Speaker 5: times you make something up because you know nobody's going
Speaker 5: to remember it never happened, but you got to be
Speaker 5: prepared for something.
Speaker 6: You hosted the.
Speaker 4: Show I hosted one time when I can't remember the year,
Speaker 4: I can tell you who was there. It was Mike Meyer,
Speaker 4: Rob Schneider, Sandler, Chris rock was there.
Speaker 1: I was so on my heels that whole week because
Speaker 1: exactly that.
Speaker 4: I come, Man, these are the writers of Usnel and
Speaker 4: they're go, what do you think about a thing? And
Speaker 4: I'm going it sounds is there a can I read it?
Speaker 4: I don't have it yet. Okay, Yeah, that could be funny.
Speaker 4: You know, anything could be funny.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: My memory was Tuesday went by. I think I did
Speaker 4: photographs on Tuesday. That was the big contribution.
Speaker 5: Wait, let me back to it. Monday night, did Lauren
Speaker 5: take you out to dinner?
Speaker 1: No? I didn't get a dinner. I never got a dinner,
Speaker 1: red button.
Speaker 4: It didn't end well with me and Lauren. I think
Speaker 4: probably Tuesday. Nothing happened. Wednesday around five o'clock a stack
Speaker 4: of like one hundred sketches shows us. Some of them
Speaker 4: have been on the stack for seasons already, because I
Speaker 4: remember there was one about the adventures to take off
Speaker 4: on Dobey Gillis. It was called the Adventures of Pubie
Speaker 4: Gillis about his pubacare showed out of the top of
Speaker 4: his fans and the minute they went, oh my god,
Speaker 4: Phubie Gillis is back. And you read every one of
Speaker 4: these scripts and then Lauren took me into his office
Speaker 4: and said, so, what do you like? And I went, oh,
Speaker 4: I remember I thought, I thought the Mafia thing was funny,
Speaker 4: all right?
Speaker 1: What else? I thought the Masterpiece Theater thing was fun okay? Well?
Speaker 4: And I went, are you just asking my opinion? Am
Speaker 4: I picking of the show? I didn't know what was
Speaker 4: because everything I said we wound up. I mean the
Speaker 4: ones that I said we wound up at least going
Speaker 4: to rehearsal with Thursday. There's a bunch of sets, but two.
Speaker 4: There's twelve sketches, but there's two sets. They go, we'll
Speaker 4: rehearse the two. We'll rehearse those two. And then I said, well,
Speaker 4: we could rehearse all of them. I mean, we don't
Speaker 4: have to have a set. It's just a chair, you know.
Speaker 4: And Lauren said, you're from the theater, you know how
Speaker 4: to do this. We rehearsed in the theater a lot.
Speaker 4: We spent a lot of time rehearsing. And his line
Speaker 4: to me to calm me down was I promise, by
Speaker 4: the time we go to air, you'll have done everything
Speaker 4: at least twice. It did not come mew Friday. The
Speaker 4: other sets were there. We rehearsed everything once and then
Speaker 4: I remember there was some makeup stuff and Saturday, next
Speaker 4: thing I know, we're in dress and then things changed
Speaker 4: after Anyway, we go to the reason why I think
Speaker 4: I may have blown it with Lauren is we go
Speaker 4: to the after party. He says that did you have
Speaker 4: a good time? I said I did, But you know
Speaker 4: I can I just say, I think you're making this
Speaker 4: harder than it has to be.
Speaker 1: Buy good night, nurse. That was my time. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was trying to be helpful because I just thought,
Speaker 4: you know, if you have an actor that is at
Speaker 4: least from a comedy or a theater background, huh, you
Speaker 4: don't have to wait till Friday to rehearse. We might
Speaker 4: find something funny. Yeah, if we rehearse it once.
Speaker 5: Well, you know, the system is the system that's been
Speaker 5: going on fifty years. Yeah, I think for actors, yeah,
Speaker 5: it is. You got to be prepared for that week ruling.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 5: I always kind of get a little upset when SNLU
Speaker 5: doesn't get the Emmy because as opposed to one show,
Speaker 5: you know, one special, because.
Speaker 1: Week after week you have to do all the.
Speaker 6: Volume of it.
Speaker 5: I mean, there's gonna be some clunkers and they'll cop
Speaker 5: to that. But look at you know how much they produce.
Speaker 3: Oh isn't sane? Yeah, So so that sounds like the
Speaker 3: craziest grind in the world.
Speaker 4: I know, the Seinfeld grin. I'm going to come back
Speaker 4: to the book in one second. But and I don't
Speaker 4: mean to be stupid, because God knows, I've done Curb.
Speaker 1: But when you write for Curb, yeah, what are you writing?
Speaker 4: Is it coming up with the story of yes, and
Speaker 4: because I mean I remember my Curb script when I
Speaker 4: first before the Seinfelder, right, it was about nine pages
Speaker 4: of and then and then this kind of happens, and
Speaker 4: this kind of happens, and this kind of happened.
Speaker 1: Right, So what was what is that?
Speaker 6: It's a very different process there.
Speaker 5: But again, you go in at the start of the
Speaker 5: season and you pitch ideas to Larry David and Jeff Schaeffer,
Speaker 5: who we both know as a former writer of Seinfeld,
Speaker 5: and the same thing.
Speaker 6: I would go in with a lot of stuff.
Speaker 5: So certain ideas, like the first idea I pitched for
Speaker 5: Kerb was when a comedian is out with regular people
Speaker 5: and the comedian says something funny and the regular person says,
Speaker 5: but umpum, this is so infuriating to anybody funny you
Speaker 5: want to strangle that person, strangle them. So I knew
Speaker 5: the first one in. I was so happy. Larry loved it.
Speaker 5: You know, we got to use that somewhere. So it
Speaker 5: became something when I think they go to sell a
Speaker 5: show to Hulu and they're bantering with the receptionists and
Speaker 5: they say something funny and she goes, oh, but umpum.
Speaker 6: So there is little things like that.
Speaker 5: Also, a thing that I pitched was I hate when
Speaker 5: you go to a meeting, usually in show business, and
Speaker 5: you pitch an idea and the executive says, you know,
Speaker 5: I don't love it. You know, do they say I
Speaker 5: don't like it? No, you know, so you didn't like it.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 6: It's always taking.
Speaker 5: Things the next step, but you know, I don't love it.
Speaker 5: Became something that Larry really was smarted to. So there
Speaker 5: are always things like that. But then the bigger ideas,
Speaker 5: Oh god, there's so many show business related ones. I
Speaker 5: told them how I had just been at a meeting
Speaker 5: at NBC and they have the fruit bowl in the
Speaker 5: middle of the table, and of course the thought becomes
Speaker 5: what you do what is acted out on curb.
Speaker 6: And I said to Larry and Jeff, I always thought.
Speaker 5: If I picked up an apple from that crupal and
Speaker 5: I started eating it, how it's seeing weird?
Speaker 1: Would that be when I've done throwing.
Speaker 6: It in the office trash can? And that became.
Speaker 5: Artificial fruit that episode. So you pitch the ideas, you know,
Speaker 5: other things like so we self serving, you know ideas
Speaker 5: from back from Seinfeld. You know things that are shameless
Speaker 5: things you do for selfish purposes. I had an Audi.
Speaker 5: I took it to the dealership and van Nie and
Speaker 5: I would go and they had a nice spread there,
Speaker 5: you know, nice coffee machine, and they had those little
Speaker 5: bunt cakes from nothing bun capes, and you know, I
Speaker 5: have one of these bunkcakes, like this is delicious. So
Speaker 5: every time I was in the valley and I passed
Speaker 5: the Audi, I'd bring the car in and be like
Speaker 5: I hear a little ping, here's something, and I'd go,
Speaker 5: I'd have my coffee.
Speaker 6: I have nothing bunk And then we use that in curve.
Speaker 5: But Larry changed it to licorice that the car dealer
Speaker 5: has greatly bush.
Speaker 6: So you'd pitch the ideas.
Speaker 5: He would tell you the ones he liked the big
Speaker 5: idea or the funny things to say, and then he
Speaker 5: and Jeff would go off and come up with an outline,
Speaker 5: usually about ten pages, pretty much of what happens in
Speaker 5: every scene and a line here and there. But also
Speaker 5: there's a masterclass and improv with these actors that they
Speaker 5: can just take this stuff and go with it. And
Speaker 5: then when he would bring the writers in was when
Speaker 5: we would shoot it, so you were there for the
Speaker 5: entire shoot. You'd be on set, like with the I
Speaker 5: need a line.
Speaker 3: When I come out, they're waiting to see what's not
Speaker 3: working that they can wow.
Speaker 5: Yeah, So it's being you know because as you know,
Speaker 5: then the action happens on set and some things go
Speaker 5: off where you don't think they're going to go off,
Speaker 5: and how many things hit that you don't even expect
Speaker 5: to hit. Yeah, So it's a very different process than
Speaker 5: other shows.
Speaker 3: That way a lot of pressure because you're doing it
Speaker 3: in real time. It's like we got a couple of
Speaker 3: minutes here, finish the scene. I need a fun of
Speaker 3: your line, somebody.
Speaker 6: Well, he had a good stable.
Speaker 4: I needed I needed you, I needed your book because
Speaker 4: there was I will say before I ask you.
Speaker 1: More about this.
Speaker 4: The greatest joy for me on Curb is all the
Speaker 4: years unsidable, I guess because Larry was, you know, writing
Speaker 4: a lot of it.
Speaker 1: I can make Larry laugh, but you know not how
Speaker 1: I mean.
Speaker 4: He enjoyed what I was doing. He knew what it
Speaker 4: was going to be. He was writing for me.
Speaker 1: At that point.
Speaker 6: Uh huh.
Speaker 4: We got the Curb, and the first episode that I
Speaker 4: did of Curb outside of the arc was he and
Speaker 4: I were going to work on a pilot together. He
Speaker 4: was going to create a pilot for me. Let's take
Speaker 4: a meeting. But he lives in the.
Speaker 1: Palisades and my office is a studio city. So we
Speaker 1: tossed the coin.
Speaker 4: He's gonna come to me first for the first meeting,
Speaker 4: and then I'll go to him for the second meeting.
Speaker 4: And the whole episode is about everything happens to him.
Speaker 4: He gets a flat tired and he shows up to
Speaker 4: my office four hours late. They say, well, clearly I
Speaker 4: can't have the meeting. So on the next one, you
Speaker 4: come to me in the Palisades and I go. But
Speaker 4: we but we didn't have the meeting we made, we said,
Speaker 4: he said, but I'm here.
Speaker 1: I came and I said.
Speaker 4: You came four hours late to a meeting. We didn't
Speaker 4: have to tell me we can't have a meeting. Let's
Speaker 4: stick with the plan. Come here, we'll have a meeting.
Speaker 4: And well, he could not get through a scene with me.
Speaker 4: And he said, I've never been confronted with myself and
Speaker 4: it was such a joy. Yeah, to make him break. Yeah,
Speaker 4: he breaks in a lot of scenes.
Speaker 3: Einstein, Bob Einstein would make him break a lot.
Speaker 4: So now I am here to tell you I have
Speaker 4: not read this book yet, So tell me the derivation.
Speaker 1: How did this come to be?
Speaker 6: Okay? And and that's easy?
Speaker 4: Yeah, and and and if I buy it? And I
Speaker 4: won't because you're giving me this one? What's here? What
Speaker 4: am I looking?
Speaker 6: Okay?
Speaker 5: So what happened was Rick Mitchell, who I co wrote
Speaker 5: this with, who's a comedy writer. He worked for six
Speaker 5: years on Alnja Generes's talk show, Emmy Winning.
Speaker 6: I might add to.
Speaker 4: Anybody with me, everybody but men.
Speaker 5: We got together during the strike, met for lunch. I
Speaker 5: had just been to a wedding, saw a horrible speech
Speaker 5: by the father of the bride. He had been to
Speaker 5: an event where someone you know stank up the joint
Speaker 5: with his speech and we were sitting there going, you
Speaker 5: know a lot of people people don't know not only
Speaker 5: one oh one about speech making, but making it funny
Speaker 5: and having a good speech is really not that difficult.
Speaker 5: And if we can help people, you know, step by
Speaker 5: step the beginning of a speech, middle end. Uh, this
Speaker 5: will be a public service to people because we've all
Speaker 5: gone to events where someone has given a lousy speech
Speaker 5: and it's put a damper on everything. Or it was
Speaker 5: also taped, you know, with the advent of taping these things.
Speaker 5: Now with your phone you can't escape it. So that
Speaker 5: was the impetus for the book. And as you can see,
Speaker 5: it's not you know, the Encyclopedia Britannica. It's small, it's handy.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 5: We give you know, we have templates for if you're
Speaker 5: really lazy and you want to write a speech.
Speaker 6: We have like mad lips, fill in the blanks, and.
Speaker 5: We have jokes at the end that you know, if
Speaker 5: you are stuck on a joke for an event, steal
Speaker 5: our jokes that that's what they're there for, Go nutty.
Speaker 5: And it's really you know, it's number one now on
Speaker 5: Amazon and Public Speaking. How long, just two weeks and
Speaker 5: Carol Burnette.
Speaker 6: As you'll notice, So.
Speaker 5: It's been really going great because I feel like we're
Speaker 5: filling a void that hasn't been filled.
Speaker 3: You also addressed the AI think because everybody now is
Speaker 3: using chat eptine on the right speech, and you tried it.
Speaker 3: So it came out no, because it can't do humor.
Speaker 3: Got stuff wrong right.
Speaker 5: Yes, a friend of mine, her daughter was getting married.
Speaker 5: I don't know her daughter, so I did what I
Speaker 5: do when I help people write a speech. We got
Speaker 5: together for it's a lot of meals for dinner, and
Speaker 5: I said to her, you know, let's tell me some stories,
Speaker 5: funny stories about your daughter, some heartfelt stories, and we'll
Speaker 5: put something together.
Speaker 6: It'll be easy.
Speaker 5: And she talked about how when her daughter was little,
Speaker 5: she used to collect snails.
Speaker 6: In the garden. Uh.
Speaker 5: And so we thought we'd put that in, you know,
Speaker 5: in the speech. And you know, the bunchline is like, yeah, boy,
Speaker 5: you know you laugh. But what I saved on Barbie's
Speaker 5: was amazing. So we put all these, all the bullet
Speaker 5: points that she gave me into Aiuh. The snail story
Speaker 5: became like as a daughter, she preferred the company of
Speaker 5: gastropods as opposed to people, gastropod I don't even know
Speaker 5: what that is. And Ai did it with every element
Speaker 5: made it not funny, and then also added things that
Speaker 5: weren't true, which the last thing you want to do,
Speaker 5: like what you know, people sitting there like that never happened.
Speaker 3: Such a great speech, by the way, reading the AI
Speaker 3: speech at at an event that is wrong.
Speaker 5: You know, that's a great idea. Yes, you do your
Speaker 5: speech and then go here's what.
Speaker 3: I am here came up? Did you pay? Did the woman?
Speaker 3: So this is what you do for a living?
Speaker 6: Peter?
Speaker 3: That's really did she charge that? Take it? Take it?
Speaker 3: God bless you.
Speaker 6: Take my job.
Speaker 3: Take my joke.
Speaker 1: Please take you my joke.
Speaker 3: Did the woman pay you? Or is it just meals?
Speaker 3: Because this is what you do for a living. That's
Speaker 3: a curb that people who are reaching out, how Carol
Speaker 3: will help you? Of course at three o'clock in the
Speaker 3: morning and.
Speaker 5: Fred stolear episode with Banya right with I'm going to
Speaker 5: give you some material and give you a meal, and
Speaker 5: then it became just sup Yes.
Speaker 4: Frank and told me when he was in the Senate
Speaker 4: that all the senators would call him and I need
Speaker 4: I'm talking to a rotary club, you got anything else?
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he'd he'd be giving away material left and right. Right.
Speaker 3: So you do a lot of corporate stuff, right, And
Speaker 3: what do they think they're getting when they get you
Speaker 3: or did they tell you we want something about this?
Speaker 3: We sell computer parts, So can you write a whole
Speaker 3: chunk about computer parts?
Speaker 6: Well, there are two kinds.
Speaker 5: They're either they know what my thing is going to
Speaker 5: be and I talk about being female, being in the
Speaker 5: comedy business for almost fifty years, which is kooki. So
Speaker 5: they know they're going to get my story and how
Speaker 5: it can relate in the bigger picture to anybody who's
Speaker 5: in business. And then sometimes they come to me with
Speaker 5: this quality about Joe and this guy in accounting does
Speaker 5: this blah blah blah, and they really eat it up
Speaker 5: because it's about them and it's the funny things about
Speaker 5: the people they work with. But that's a big point
Speaker 5: of our book. You know, the personal is the gold
Speaker 5: in any speech writing because you have the relationship with
Speaker 5: this person that nobody else has, So to really capitalize
Speaker 5: on that, because you're important enough in their life that
Speaker 5: they've asked you to do a speech, So to really
Speaker 5: think about those stories and those things about your relationship
Speaker 5: that'll set you apart from everybody. And we also have
Speaker 5: a section of you know, you can make it funny,
Speaker 5: it's not that hard, and we walk you through step
Speaker 5: by step of how you can do that.
Speaker 4: But you know, I'm so, for instance, right now I'm
Speaker 4: going to do I'm going to EMC a thing for
Speaker 4: La Family Housing in the next month. And they said,
Speaker 4: could you do six minutes? I went, I'm not a
Speaker 4: stand up I don't have six minutes. Well, if there's
Speaker 4: something funny about building and housing, so I'm sitting down
Speaker 4: already talking about but.
Speaker 1: You see, I don't, I don't.
Speaker 4: So I'm yesterday I was doing a thing about a
Speaker 4: lot of building going on in Los Angeles, A lot
Speaker 4: of building.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is.
Speaker 4: Sixteen years lax, lax. We're going to have a people move.
Speaker 4: Disney got rid of the people moving. They only get
Speaker 4: sixty people we're gonna find. But I'm trying to come
Speaker 4: up with bits and now with this book. Please say yes,
Speaker 4: because would this book give me any insight on how
Speaker 4: to do what is literally they're asking me to do
Speaker 4: almost a stand up bit?
Speaker 1: Yeah, got a whole cloth.
Speaker 5: Well, I want to go back, because what gig was it?
Speaker 5: I saw you host a Hollywood Bowl. Sure, yeah, stravaganza
Speaker 5: where you killed And it's not just thirty people, it's
Speaker 5: how many thousands of people too were amazing.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you by the way, Peter helped me right there. Ah.
Speaker 4: But it's not that I I mean, you know, I'm
Speaker 4: an actor. I can play somebody who knows how to
Speaker 4: tell a joke. It's just it's that's the thing I
Speaker 4: always talk about with Seinfeld and I would imagine and
Speaker 4: every good show you've worked on, and I'm sure this
Speaker 4: is true of Hacks as well. When people talk to
Speaker 4: me about the success of Seinfeld and they go, you
Speaker 4: guys were so great, I went, thank you. When someone
Speaker 4: throws you the ball at the two yard line, it
Speaker 4: doesn't take as to fall into the episode. We had
Speaker 4: great stuff to work with, you know, And that so yes,
Speaker 4: at the Hollywood Bowl. If someone writes me a funny line,
Speaker 4: I can probably deliver it. Yeah, but when But for
Speaker 4: for the situation I'm in right now, That's what I'm
Speaker 4: talking about, where I don't do what you do. I
Speaker 4: don't sit down to write a comedic monologue. I don't
Speaker 4: on a spot specific subject. Does this help me?
Speaker 1: Or do you? Or is that a different book.
Speaker 5: I think what they're looking for from you is not
Speaker 5: necessarily a speech, because that's about the heartfelt and honoring
Speaker 5: somebody in particular. But I know you do other events,
Speaker 5: performing by yourself. Yeah, and you have a lot of
Speaker 5: great What do I would mind things from?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 4: I used I use Peter's model, and you know, honestly,
Speaker 4: all I need in a six minute bit I need
Speaker 4: four good lines because I can kerfuffle my way through,
Speaker 4: you know. So that's what I look for, is okay,
Speaker 4: what's a fun the observation about I mean to me,
Speaker 4: I look at things like there's I live very close
Speaker 4: to the to the subway line that they're building under
Speaker 4: Wilshire Boulevard that's going to go from downtown to Santa Monica.
Speaker 4: And I go, first of all, why who in Los
Speaker 4: Angeles in an earthquake going the zone is going underground
Speaker 4: for their transportation necessities?
Speaker 1: And you know, this makes no sense to me.
Speaker 4: And also if I'm sitting in downtown, do I go
Speaker 4: you know where I'd like to go today? Santa Monica?
Speaker 4: Between down Santa Monica. What I might like to get
Speaker 4: over vice versa. If I'm if I'm at the beach,
Speaker 4: you're going, you know, fun day, Let's hit little Tokyo downn.
Speaker 3: You know what already in l A, you got to
Speaker 3: drive to the station where you parked car already, Right,
Speaker 3: I'm already I get there. I'm driving around the circle's space.
Speaker 1: Right should I look for us?
Speaker 4: I look for the things, just like you said that
Speaker 4: when you were pitching ideas, the little things that the
Speaker 4: no me yes I go to Because I always thought,
Speaker 4: if you're going to build transport, public transportation in LA. Honestly,
Speaker 4: what I would have looked into where sky cable cars. Yeah,
Speaker 4: people want to see where they're going, and those polls
Speaker 4: move when there's an earthquake, you can sway in the rock.
Speaker 1: It seems cheap or safer fat what what if it is?
Speaker 6: I for again?
Speaker 5: You said La so La jokes are going to kill absolutely.
Speaker 5: But I also think, Jason, what I think is important
Speaker 5: At these gigs and I anywhere I speak, I always
Speaker 5: talk a little bit about Seinfeld. You have played this
Speaker 5: iconic character. Yeah, and people I think really appreciate a
Speaker 5: story or two, which I know you have about being
Speaker 5: George your time on the show. I would definitely throw
Speaker 5: that in because people eat it up, they want to
Speaker 5: hear it.
Speaker 3: Well.
Speaker 1: I do that, you know in personal appearance stuff.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I do a whole section my Q and a
Speaker 4: show where I show, you know, a montage.
Speaker 1: From the show and then it's questions and I know
Speaker 1: every question's come and they're not going to find a note.
Speaker 6: What's the question you get the most? I'm just interested?
Speaker 4: Favorite episode? How did you know it was a hit?
Speaker 4: Who was your inspiration for George?
Speaker 1: Things like that? What do people say to you the most?
Speaker 5: His favorite episode? Marine Biologist?
Speaker 4: I would guess no, No, here's my answer truly is
Speaker 4: I go, I don't have I don't literally have a
Speaker 4: favorite episode. I say, I can tell you the two
Speaker 4: that are remarkable to me where I took note of
Speaker 4: the show. First one was the Chinese restaurant because NBC
Speaker 4: came in and said, are you keeping crazy? What's wrong
Speaker 4: with And we were not hit? In fact, we were
Speaker 4: I don't even think on the ball. Yes, And you know,
Speaker 4: Larry and Jerry got read the Riot Act. But the
Speaker 4: only thing they didn't say, and this was Larry's line
Speaker 4: when they left, Larry said, well they didn't say we
Speaker 4: couldn't do it, so they did it anyway. And I
Speaker 4: remember thinking, you know, I don't know if this thing's
Speaker 4: going to last. But these guys they have integrity.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they know what they want to do and they're
Speaker 4: willing to roll the dice with it. And that was
Speaker 4: when I was first kind of proud of the show.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 4: The one where I think it turned our fortunes for
Speaker 4: the whole show was the contest.
Speaker 1: Yes, the contest was.
Speaker 4: The one where, you know, we heard about it coming,
Speaker 4: then we went how they can be able to do this?
Speaker 4: How they going to do this? And then it was
Speaker 4: so brilliant. And the thing that I always talk about
Speaker 4: that not only made it brilliant, but even more brilliant
Speaker 4: was Elaine was in the contest. So not only are
Speaker 4: we doing masturbation on a national broadcast television show, but we're.
Speaker 1: Going and girls too.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 1: It was so audacious.
Speaker 4: Yes, and I just and you know, the story is
Speaker 4: that by the time the West coast there the shows,
Speaker 4: the numbers had tripled from Wow the East Coast.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: People were on the phone going, oh.
Speaker 4: My god, you got to see this, see this.
Speaker 5: And I knew that when we got away with my
Speaker 5: episode the Rye. You know Elaine's boyfriend who's the exophonist. Uh,
Speaker 5: I'm sure is ruined from what is implied and we
Speaker 5: know as going down on all right, Yeah, because he did.
Speaker 3: Were they worried about so we do? No, not at all. No,
Speaker 3: the network didn't say anything to that.
Speaker 6: Thing at that point.
Speaker 5: I think after Chinese Restaurant they were not going to
Speaker 5: disagree with Larry David or Jerry Seinfeld on any Plat point.
Speaker 4: I remember Jerry told me a story about you know,
Speaker 4: the network gave Larry notes about maybe the pilot or
Speaker 4: the second episode, and Larry's response was to sit there
Speaker 4: very calmly and listen to the notes and then said, here's.
Speaker 1: My response to you. Nothing.
Speaker 3: I were afraid. I think they were afraid to give. Well,
Speaker 3: but the brilliant thing about it, I wish I had
Speaker 3: done this unco I worked on. When you say I
Speaker 3: can't do that, hire a guy who can do that,
Speaker 3: because then it puts it back on them. Yeah, you're
Speaker 3: actually not being mean and saying I think your note sucks.
Speaker 3: You're saying I can't do that. That's not what I
Speaker 3: hire somebody to do that. I'm leaving. And then what then.
Speaker 1: That's Larry Diddy left.
Speaker 3: Were you ever there with a note meeting in the
Speaker 3: beginning or no.
Speaker 5: No, they always gave notes, but they were never really
Speaker 5: like you can't do this storyline. I mean they always
Speaker 5: did have notes. But wait, man, I want to backtrack
Speaker 5: because I think I interrupted you.
Speaker 6: Jason. You're saying you normally you tell when you do
Speaker 6: your corporate.
Speaker 4: I always do that stuff, but it's something like an
Speaker 4: event like this. It's not about me. I'm there to
Speaker 4: serve that thing. Yes, I don't want to drag it
Speaker 4: back to here's something you probably want to know about
Speaker 4: me and my career. Try and keep it as much
Speaker 4: as I can in their things. Yes, so you know,
Speaker 4: it's just a different mandate.
Speaker 1: But I listen.
Speaker 4: Another question I got all the time is are you
Speaker 4: sick about talking about Seinfeld? And honestly, it's not performative.
Speaker 4: It's Peter s heard me tell the story a thousand times.
Speaker 4: My mom used to say to me, you know, it
Speaker 4: would be a good life. I hope you live a
Speaker 4: life of service to other people. And I go, well,
Speaker 4: not going to happen, mon, because I'm an actor and
Speaker 4: it's really the most selfish thing in the world.
Speaker 1: I do it because I seem to be okay at it.
Speaker 1: They pay me.
Speaker 4: I get jobs, you know, And I thought, I'm never
Speaker 4: gonna do that thing my mother wanted me to do.
Speaker 1: This has been true of I found.
Speaker 4: It's been true of a bunch of things I've been
Speaker 4: lucky enough to do, but nothing more than our show.
Speaker 1: Yes, I meet people.
Speaker 4: Still every week, or or I get letters every week
Speaker 4: that say I was going through dark stuff and I
Speaker 4: had lost certainly my sense of joy, my sense of humanity.
Speaker 4: And I would watch your shows back to back to back,
Speaker 4: and I would find the laughter again, and you got
Speaker 4: me through. Thank you for getting me through. And I
Speaker 4: got and I would look up at the sky. I
Speaker 4: guess I got the service, Mom, I guess I got.
Speaker 4: And so, having never expected that I would be part
Speaker 4: of something doing what I do, that would be so
Speaker 4: much more than what it was, not just the TV show.
Speaker 4: It is something that really affects people and has for
Speaker 4: a long time. And I just go, I'm going to
Speaker 4: be grateful for that for the rest of my life.
Speaker 4: And if you fair enough to tell me about it,
Speaker 4: I care enough to chat with you.
Speaker 5: About it, that's great. I mean, we were part of
Speaker 5: a legendary show. How many people can say that. I mean,
Speaker 5: that's such an honor.
Speaker 4: And we started today a little bit before we started
Speaker 4: recording about Peter Belling about you and Hacks, and I
Speaker 4: got to tell you it's glorious. I mean, you continue
Speaker 4: to work on stuff that is so good. It's just
Speaker 4: so thank you good. I hope you're having the time
Speaker 4: of your life because the work is beautiful.
Speaker 6: Thank you. I really am.
Speaker 5: And I feel lucky every day that I get to
Speaker 5: do what I do because you know, these shows affect
Speaker 5: people that really do and I'm sure you got a
Speaker 5: lot what I got during COVID. People said during COVID
Speaker 5: Seinfeld save me. Yeah, I was watching I don't know
Speaker 5: how many episodes, and it is, you know, of service
Speaker 5: to people, it may sometimes restorative. And how great that
Speaker 5: we were part of that and still a part of
Speaker 5: it because it's on reruns every three seconds, thank god.
Speaker 6: And just to be a part of it is such
Speaker 6: a joy to watch.
Speaker 4: How I marry Seinfeld and your book, Yes, Wayne Night,
Speaker 4: I wish he was here because he tells the greatest story.
Speaker 4: I will only butcher it, but it is the greatest
Speaker 4: cross section between if someone had your book as a template.
Speaker 1: Yes, and it still didn't work. So he had an aunt,
Speaker 1: huh that he.
Speaker 4: Barely knew, who passed away years ago in Las Vegas.
Speaker 1: Wa ain't happened to be in Las Vegas.
Speaker 4: His mother called and said, Yeah, the only member of
Speaker 4: the family anywhere near you gotta go to go to
Speaker 4: the funeral.
Speaker 1: Go to the funeral, Go comfort your uncle. He barely knew.
Speaker 1: He goes.
Speaker 4: He sat with the uncle and the person doing the eulogy.
Speaker 4: He was unknown to all of them, and they said,
Speaker 4: I'm gonna spend some time with your uncle to get
Speaker 4: some information about your aunts so I can personalize.
Speaker 6: The the eulogy.
Speaker 4: Wayne said, he is sitting in what is is almost
Speaker 4: like the Elvis Chapel, and it's just a horrible The
Speaker 4: ant is laid out in the box up front. It's Wayne,
Speaker 4: some other guy, the uncle, and i think a paid
Speaker 4: witness to be in the other and the guy with
Speaker 4: the eulogy. And he said, the guy who had the
Speaker 4: Mad Live version of your book. The theme was but
Speaker 4: an end to all that, but it was things like
Speaker 4: what the uncle, who I'm sure was had to mention
Speaker 4: at this point, Yeah, showed him. So it was things
Speaker 4: like Rose enjoyed chocolate, but an end to all that.
Speaker 4: Towards the end, her medications caused her some flatulence, and
Speaker 4: she found that embarrassing.
Speaker 1: But God, he's got the he's got the right template.
Speaker 1: He just doesn't have to stuff to put I got.
Speaker 5: You know, I didn't get to tell my famous Seinfeld
Speaker 5: story with you.
Speaker 3: Tell okay, oh we're out of top.
Speaker 7: Okay.
Speaker 5: You know I didn't get to tell my famous Seinbeld
Speaker 5: story with you.
Speaker 3: Te okay, Oh we're at a top.
Speaker 7: Okay?
Speaker 5: The kiss Hello. So I was in it as an actor.
Speaker 5: I played Wendy Malick's assistant. And you come to the
Speaker 5: delicate genius of Wendy Malick, and then I tell you
Speaker 5: that you have to pay. We required twenty four hours notice,
Speaker 5: we're all cancelations, and you had to write a check
Speaker 5: on the set and hand it to me. Jason would
Speaker 5: write the most exploitive, filled, funniest things on this check
Speaker 5: with the express purpose of cracking me up. And I
Speaker 5: had to really keep my actor hat on because everything
Speaker 5: he wrote every check was funnier than the next.
Speaker 6: So, Jason, I remember that from that.
Speaker 5: Episode that you would try to crack me up, and it.
Speaker 6: Was all I could do not to And those.
Speaker 3: Checks are on eBay right now if you go look.
Speaker 3: I shouldn't say that the book is.
Speaker 4: Available hacks, but I'm gonna final little Do you remember
Speaker 4: were you with us when the crew used to do
Speaker 4: funny things on the menu board at the back of
Speaker 4: the diner. No, and they would put very obscene things, really,
Speaker 4: and somebody with a big TV freeze framed it, and
Speaker 4: there was trouble in paradise. My memory is we had
Speaker 4: to pay all kinds of fines because because we would, oh,
Speaker 4: they were offend.
Speaker 3: And was that so that when you do your line
Speaker 3: it was so in the sight that you would if
Speaker 3: you were you know how sometimes would the booth we
Speaker 3: would have to be all the way to the front.
Speaker 4: So if it's all the way to the front and
Speaker 4: you're shooting the master, you can see that thing way
Speaker 4: in the back. You can't read it unless you blow
Speaker 4: it up to you know, I'm a somebody.
Speaker 6: I did not know that.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, now people are gonna be searching again
Speaker 3: and being offended again. The last quote before you go,
Speaker 3: Frank Sinatra said, you're one funny broad right, and then
Speaker 3: an amazing the biggest compliment ever. There you go. Look
Speaker 3: at that.
Speaker 5: Biggest compliment ever, said some cryptic things when I opened
Speaker 5: for him, when I came out.
Speaker 6: Like Carol Leifer, she'll knock you over for the phone.
Speaker 6: She's big.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know, I had no idea.
Speaker 1: What that.
Speaker 5: All?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: That kind of ruined the other thing, but that's okay.
Speaker 5: Hey, funny broad I'll take fun and every time has kills.
Speaker 3: What an amazing show. Emotional funny and gene smart is
Speaker 3: just brilliant.
Speaker 4: So other than the book that we should be looking
Speaker 4: for that we don't know about.
Speaker 5: Well, uh a date specific, I'll be opening for Paul
Speaker 5: Reiser at the Comedy of Magic Club.
Speaker 1: Check your local listing. We'll make Yeah.
Speaker 5: And by the book, I mean, I'm so thrilled. It's
Speaker 5: already number one on public speaking.
Speaker 3: By the way, you kill at your next funeral.
Speaker 5: I do very at what we like to call celebrations
Speaker 5: of celebration.
Speaker 3: But that's there's an end to that.
Speaker 1: What is it?
Speaker 3: Great book titles? Tell your other book title, how to.
Speaker 6: Succeed in Business without really.
Speaker 3: Crying, and the other one as far as.
Speaker 5: When you lie about your age, the terrorists win.
Speaker 3: And still I'm still laughing at get those two people
Speaker 3: still laughing at the restaurant, ugly people, and you said.
Speaker 6: Uh, what happened here? Oh? Thank you guys. It was fun.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, thank you everybody. This has been really.
Speaker 1: As another episode of Really No Really.
Speaker 2: He comes to a close. I know you're wondering, since
Speaker 2: we're talking about writing an effective speech, what are some
Speaker 2: of the most influential speeches in modern history. Well, I'll
Speaker 2: answer that dream of a question in a moment, but
Speaker 2: first let's thank our guest Carol Leafer. Her book, in
Speaker 2: case you've somehow forgotten, is how to write a funny
Speaker 2: speech for a wedding, bar mitzvah, graduation, and in every
Speaker 2: other event you didn't want to go to in the
Speaker 2: first place. And to follow Carrol, she is at Carol
Speaker 2: Leafer on Instagram, X and Facebook, and her.
Speaker 1: Website is Carolleafer dot cal.
Speaker 2: Find all pertinent links in our show notes, our little
Speaker 2: show hangs out on Instagram, TikTok YouTube, and threads at
Speaker 2: really No Really podcasts, And of course, you can share
Speaker 2: your thoughts and feedback with us online at reallynoreally dot com.
Speaker 2: If you have a really some amazing fact or story
Speaker 2: that boggles your mind share it with us, and if
Speaker 2: we use it, we will send you a little gift.
Speaker 2: Nothing life changing, obviously, but it's the thought that counts.
Speaker 2: Check out our full episodes on YouTube, hit that subscribe
Speaker 2: button and take that bell so you're updated when we
Speaker 2: release new videos and episodes, which we do each Tuesday.
Speaker 2: So listen and follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple
Speaker 2: podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And now the
Speaker 2: answer to the question, what are some of the most
Speaker 2: influential speeches in modern history? Well, that assessment can be
Speaker 2: pretty subjective, but here are a bunch that most people
Speaker 2: have determined as pretty significant.
Speaker 1: President John F.
Speaker 2: Kennedy used his inaugural address to challenge America's commitment to
Speaker 2: the nation when he said, ask not what your country
Speaker 2: can do for you, ask what you can do for
Speaker 2: your country. In nineteen forty, is Nazi troops were invading
Speaker 2: much of Europe. Britain's Prime Minister Winston Churchill rally the
Speaker 2: nation when he said, we shall fight on the beaches,
Speaker 2: we shall fight on the landing grounds. We shall fight
Speaker 2: in the fields and in the streets. We shall fight
Speaker 2: in the hills. We shall never surrender. In nineteen eighty seven,
Speaker 2: President Ronald Reagan offered a challenge to Russian President Gorbachev
Speaker 2: which featured the line, mister Garbaschev, tear down this wall.
Speaker 1: The Gettysburg Address.
Speaker 2: Delivered by Abraham Lincoln that the height of the Civil
Speaker 2: War in eighteen sixty three, is considered one of the
Speaker 2: nation's most memorable speeches and was written by Lincoln on
Speaker 2: the train to the occasion.
Speaker 1: In it, he.
Speaker 2: Writes, we here highly resolve that these dead shall not
Speaker 2: have died in vain, that this nation, under God shall
Speaker 2: have a new birth of freedom, and that government of
Speaker 2: the people, by the people, or the people, shall not
Speaker 2: perish from the earth. And lastly, a speech that still
Speaker 2: resonates around the world, spoken by doctor Martin Luther King
Speaker 2: Junior on the Capitol steps on August twenty eighth, nineteen
Speaker 2: sixty three. In his plea for racial justice and equality,
Speaker 2: he said, I have a dream that one day, on
Speaker 2: the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves
Speaker 2: and the sons of former slave owners will be able
Speaker 2: to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
Speaker 1: I have a.
Speaker 2: Dream that my four little children will one day live
Speaker 2: in a nation where they will not be judged by
Speaker 2: the color of their skin, but by the content of
Speaker 2: their character. I have a dream today all this is
Speaker 2: proved positive that great ideals expressing great words can be
Speaker 2: truly immortal. So pick up that book with the really
Speaker 2: long title no Reason, really, No really is production of
Speaker 2: blase entertainment.