Speaker 1: You're listening to comedy Central stock market. Do you guys
Speaker 1: celebrate the stock markets? Yeah, well maybe not today she
Speaker 1: goes crashing, son, It was the wildest thing I've ever seen,
Speaker 1: just like red, red, red, red, red, red red. And
Speaker 1: then Bitcoin was also crashing, which makes no sense to
Speaker 1: me because people tell me bitcoin is the thing that's
Speaker 1: supposed to protect you from the market, but then bitcoin
Speaker 1: goes with the market, which makes no sense. At one
Speaker 1: point I tried to check my stock portfolio app, and
Speaker 1: my app was just like, maybe go play some wordle buddy.
Speaker 1: It's not a good day. Actually, you know what, I
Speaker 1: feel bad for all the Wall Street guys who jumped
Speaker 1: out of the window at noon because the market rebounded
Speaker 1: and it came up higher at the end of the day.
Speaker 1: So now you know there's at least like one guy
Speaker 1: who jumped out of the window. And then it's like, man,
Speaker 1: you gotta wait till the end of the day to
Speaker 1: kill yourself, fellas, you never know what the market is
Speaker 1: gonna do. Imagine jumping out the window and you're like
Speaker 1: and then as you're falling down the building, you're looking
Speaker 1: in the windows of your building. Then you're seeing the
Speaker 1: thing go up and you oh no, no, I'm rich.
Speaker 1: I'm rich. Yeah, but that happens to down the stock markets,
Speaker 1: and I think it's rebounded. They said it ended higher
Speaker 1: than where it started in the day, which must be
Speaker 1: terrifying for people's money because we always think about this
Speaker 1: from our perspective as humans. But imagine how your money feels.
Speaker 1: The stock market is like a roller coaster for your money.
Speaker 1: And you're not terrifying that ship is. You just put
Speaker 1: your money in there. You don't even think about your money.
Speaker 1: Your money buys you food, your money buys you shelter,
Speaker 1: and you don't give a ship. You're just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: money go to the stock market, and then your money
Speaker 1: is just that terrified. I'm down, I'm up, I'm less,
Speaker 1: I'm more. It's terrifying. I do that on purpose though,
Speaker 1: with my money. I put my money in the stock
Speaker 1: market just so that it appreciates my bank account more.
Speaker 1: Then when my money comes back to my bank accounts,
Speaker 1: like yo, Trev, I'm never going to talk about this.
Speaker 1: And again, man, it's coming to you from the heart
Speaker 1: of times in New York City, the only city in America.
Speaker 1: It's the daily. Here's the tonight, the playoffs in overtime
Speaker 1: Ticktik's new villain day sty. This is the Daily Show
Speaker 1: with Trevor no Hey. What's going on? Everybody? Welcome to
Speaker 1: the Daily Show. I'm Trevor Noah and joining me for
Speaker 1: today's headlines is our very own Daisi Light. What's TV?
Speaker 1: I missed you? You know I'm making the most of
Speaker 1: my January. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm doing dry January actually,
Speaker 1: and I feel great. I feel really good. It's hard,
Speaker 1: but you know, I'm just like drinking a ton of water,
Speaker 1: dropping a little lst every night, taking the edge off.
Speaker 1: So far, I feel awesome. The whole point I think
Speaker 1: is to you know what, good for you, Daisy, Thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you. I'm really proud, completely sober. All right, let's
Speaker 1: jump right into today's headlines. We kick things off with
Speaker 1: the NFL sports so good, we totally forgot about the
Speaker 1: brain damage. Now. This weekend had some absolutely crazy NFL
Speaker 1: playoff games. I mean, football hasn't seen anything this exciting
Speaker 1: since that Super Bowl where the Patriots accidentally took on
Speaker 1: a Puppy Bowl team. You remember that, yo, Those puppies
Speaker 1: got blown out and for all four games this weekend.
Speaker 1: If you didn't stick around till the very end. You
Speaker 1: basically missed the entire thing. There may have never been
Speaker 1: another playoff weekend like the one that you saw this weekend.
Speaker 1: The Kansas City Chiefs and Buffalo Bills capped off one
Speaker 1: of the wildest weekends of football of all time, with
Speaker 1: all four games decided on the final play. Remarkable. The
Speaker 1: Chiefs and Bill scored a combined twenty five points over
Speaker 1: the final two minutes of regulation, with the lead changing
Speaker 1: three times. Buffalo went ahead with thirteen seconds remaining after
Speaker 1: Josh Allen's fourth touchdown pass of the game, all of
Speaker 1: them to Gabriel Davis down the middle, but Patrick Holmes
Speaker 1: led the Chiefs down the field to set up a
Speaker 1: forty nine yard field of goal to send the game
Speaker 1: into overtime. Kansas City won the coin toss and marched downfield.
Speaker 1: Mahomes connected with Travis Kelsey to secure their spot in
Speaker 1: the a f C Championship game to the end zone
Speaker 1: for the wind. He caught it, Yes, yes, he caught it.
Speaker 1: He caught it. Did you see that? Oh man, he
Speaker 1: caught it. It was so great to see and it's
Speaker 1: also so great to hear someone say he caught it
Speaker 1: and it's not about o Macron. Wow, for real, guys,
Speaker 1: that game it was incredible. It was incredible, all the
Speaker 1: games were I was so amped up I had trouble
Speaker 1: going to bed afterwards. It was a huge problem. In fact,
Speaker 1: I think when the NFL is a game like this
Speaker 1: on Sunday nights, like they should think about us people
Speaker 1: who need to go to sleep, you know, they should
Speaker 1: like maybe always a New York Jets game afterwards, just
Speaker 1: to help you relax, you know. Yeah. Oh, and you
Speaker 1: know what else they need to do in the NFL.
Speaker 1: They need to get rid of the sudden death room. Okay,
Speaker 1: Like if one team scores, the other team should have
Speaker 1: a chance to respond. We did this in soccer a
Speaker 1: long time ago. We So it's not fair, Like what's
Speaker 1: the rush? No one is watching an NFL playoff game
Speaker 1: in overtime thinking this is the most exciting part of
Speaker 1: the game. Oh, I hope it ends soon. And also
Speaker 1: to base the possession on a coin, flip, who came
Speaker 1: up with this? It's not fair, it's archaic. Instead of
Speaker 1: a coin, they should switch to krypto. Yeah, both teams
Speaker 1: get a bitcoin and then whichever side can explain why
Speaker 1: it's not a scam. They get to go first. I
Speaker 1: think that's more fair. Although honestly, I think this game
Speaker 1: shouldn't have even gone into overtime. You're telling me that
Speaker 1: the Bill's defense couldn't have held on for thirteen seconds.
Speaker 1: Thirteen seconds, I've had thoughts that lasts longer than that.
Speaker 1: And yes, Mark Guy, I have seen a doctor about it,
Speaker 1: and yeah, he does have some serious concerns. But that's
Speaker 1: not the point. I will say this. I think you
Speaker 1: can accomplish a lot in thirteen seconds. Thirteen seconds is
Speaker 1: a great amount of time. It's a right amount of
Speaker 1: time that you should spend with your kid every day.
Speaker 1: It's exactly the amount of time that the CDC says
Speaker 1: you should wash your hands. It's exactly the amount of
Speaker 1: time that you should spend before sending a tweet out
Speaker 1: like thinking about it. Yeah, Like you'd be surprised how
Speaker 1: much you could do in thirteen seconds, don't you think.
Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever changed my mind about something
Speaker 1: in thirteen seconds? Well, I don't know you could. The
Speaker 1: corn the coin flip thing I'm with you on. Though
Speaker 1: it does not belong in football, does not belong in
Speaker 1: it could belong in other things like I did flip
Speaker 1: a coin to figure out which vaccine I should take.
Speaker 1: It was like heads, I do Fiser, tails, I do Maderna.
Speaker 1: If the coin drops into the sewer, I do J
Speaker 1: and J. So I got visor. But it really could
Speaker 1: have gone in a different d oh Man J J. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I should maybe figure out a different system for doing
Speaker 1: stuff like that. Oh, all right, let's move on to
Speaker 1: a team that hopefully has a better defense than the Bills. Ukraine.
Speaker 1: Four months now, tensions have been building on the border
Speaker 1: of Ukraine, as Russia has sent one hundred thousand troops
Speaker 1: to the region, and now it's looking like war could
Speaker 1: break out at any time. With Russian troops massing along
Speaker 1: Ukraine's northern, southern, and eastern borders. Europe now teetering on
Speaker 1: the brink of war, US officials ordering the evacuation of
Speaker 1: family members of US embassy staff in Ukraine. The order
Speaker 1: comes as tensions mount in the region, with some fearing
Speaker 1: of Russian invasion could come at any time. Despite consistent
Speaker 1: denials by the Kremlin. Now the New York Times reporting
Speaker 1: that President Biden is weighing sending thousands of US troops,
Speaker 1: warships and aircraft to Eastern Europe. Secretary of State Anthony
Speaker 1: Blincoln reaffirming US support for the Ukrainian government. If a
Speaker 1: single additional Russian force goes into Ukraine in any aggressive way,
Speaker 1: as I said, that would trigger a swift, a severe
Speaker 1: and the United response from US and from Europe. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you heard the man. Russia better not enter Ukraine in
Speaker 1: an aggressive way. But if the whole army just kind
Speaker 1: of shimmies in, though, that will be kind of cute.
Speaker 1: You know, We'll let that slide. Exkills me, skills me,
Speaker 1: coming through, the coming through, the come through police. And look,
Speaker 1: those are strong words from America's Secretary of State. But
Speaker 1: if I'm a Ukrainian, probably gonna hedge my bets. You know,
Speaker 1: I'll look at what happened with Afghanistan and I'll book
Speaker 1: my seats on that evacuation flight now. And this isn't
Speaker 1: just about Ukraine, by the way, many countries, many countries
Speaker 1: are worried about what this war could mean for the
Speaker 1: entire region, help even for the entire world. It could
Speaker 1: spiral out into a bigger war like World War three.
Speaker 1: And personally, I don't think America is ready to fight
Speaker 1: Russia over Ukraine. I mean, America has been fighting brown
Speaker 1: people for so long, doesn't even remember how to fight
Speaker 1: white people. At least Ukraine has time to prepare, though.
Speaker 1: And that's the thing about war these days. The elements
Speaker 1: of surprise is gone. And you've got a satellite. You
Speaker 1: see them hundred thousand Russians at your border. Back in
Speaker 1: the old days you could launch a surprise attack, but
Speaker 1: now you send troops to the other border. Ways. Just
Speaker 1: tell is everybody, Hey, the Russian army is causing slowdowns
Speaker 1: on your route, so you probably want to avoid the freeway.
Speaker 1: The thing I don't get is why Russia even once
Speaker 1: Ukraine so badly, Like, what do you want? Have you
Speaker 1: seen a map of Russia? Just just go to Siberia.
Speaker 1: There's a Ukraine sized piece of land with one guy
Speaker 1: living on it. You don't even have to fight Ukraine.
Speaker 1: You can just fight Dmitri. I know why Russia is
Speaker 1: doing this. They're doing it because we're in between James
Speaker 1: bonds right now. I mean, who's gonna stop Russia if
Speaker 1: it's not for having one British alcoholic guy. We gotta
Speaker 1: pick a bond, Gotta pick a bond. I would have
Speaker 1: never thought of that as being the reason. But it's true.
Speaker 1: We are bondless. We're bondless. It's not that hard. We
Speaker 1: gotta pick someone. I think it is hard. I mean
Speaker 1: there's so many of them. Well yeah, but we've got
Speaker 1: a lot of great choices. You could do it. Are
Speaker 1: you putting it? You could do it? No, I couldn't see.
Speaker 1: Yes you could. I don't like I don't like vodka.
Speaker 1: Well you can vake it though. It's a part. It's
Speaker 1: an acting role you can do. And I saw that
Speaker 1: Shimmy can fake drinking vodka because if you you when
Speaker 1: you drink it, it's like it's stool. You taste it
Speaker 1: and then you like, I throw up. Try a little LSD.
Speaker 1: You could be a dry bond, but then replace it
Speaker 1: with LSD. Oh, I like that. I'll call your agents.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Dasy, You're welcome. I'll take my LSD shaken,
Speaker 1: we'll workshop it. Okay, let's move on from a wall
Speaker 1: that might never start to one that never ends. The
Speaker 1: battle over COVID vaccines After what shoes should Eminem's wear?
Speaker 1: Asking whether vaccines are good is literally the dumbest thing
Speaker 1: people can fight about, but they are fighting, and yesterday,
Speaker 1: thousands of people held a rally in Washington, d C.
Speaker 1: To hear why vaccine mandates are worse that Hitler. In
Speaker 1: the nation's capital, Sunday, demonstrators gathered at the Lincoln Memorial,
Speaker 1: many voicing opposition to the COVID nineteen vaccine, others protesting
Speaker 1: vaccine mandates. Among the speakers Robert Kennedy Jr. Sonator Mayte,
Speaker 1: New York Senator and Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy. Well,
Speaker 1: we're saying today is what I call turnkey totalitarianism. They
Speaker 1: are putting in place all of these technical, technological mechanisms
Speaker 1: for control, and we've never seen before. Even in Hitler, Germany.
Speaker 1: You could you could cross the out Toto Switzerland. You
Speaker 1: can hide in an attic like and Frank die. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the man is right. Who could argue? No one ever
Speaker 1: talks about how good and Frank had its free room
Speaker 1: and board all the time in the world to write
Speaker 1: pretty short deal. If you ask me, I will say,
Speaker 1: though crazy is relative because RFK maybe saying wild ship
Speaker 1: about the Holocaust, but off the people he's talking to,
Speaker 1: don't he and believe the Holocaust happened? And just standing
Speaker 1: there like and Frank, and realize this guy was such
Speaker 1: a liberal. Oh my god, It's like every family has
Speaker 1: that one loose cannon, like just a total embarrassment. Every
Speaker 1: family has that, although I have to say I don't
Speaker 1: think there's one in my family. Everyone is pretty normal,
Speaker 1: not like one major embarrassment. So, oh my god, am
Speaker 1: I the embarrassment? Am I the one? Oh god, I'm
Speaker 1: the chet Hanks shit? So I better not put out
Speaker 1: that rap video Patma was getting so good deleted anyway,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry you found that out on TV? Dizzy are
Speaker 1: we on TV? Alright? Finally, let's talk about movie trailers.
Speaker 1: It's a question asked myself all the time, to be honest,
Speaker 1: aren't Finally let's talk about movie trailers. They're the free
Speaker 1: sample that the theater hands out so that hopefully you
Speaker 1: buy the whole movie momently. Trailers are a simple thing
Speaker 1: that we watched and then we move on with our lives.
Speaker 1: But now some people are very upset about a trailer
Speaker 1: that promised more than it could deliver. Well. Two fans
Speaker 1: of actress Anna day Arms have filed a federal class
Speaker 1: action lawsuit against Universal. They say the actress was not
Speaker 1: in the final cut of the movie Yesterday, although she
Speaker 1: appeared in the trailer. The student accuses Universal of engaging
Speaker 1: and accepted marketing techniques, false advertisement and just enrichment and
Speaker 1: violating competition laws. The suit sinks to recover at least
Speaker 1: five million dollars. Hell yeah, give these people there five
Speaker 1: million dollars. Give it to them. This ship drives me crazy. Man.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. This happens all the time,
Speaker 1: and nobody does anything about this. They have trailers that
Speaker 1: have nothing to do with the just put things in
Speaker 1: and then I go there, Like there's a badass scene
Speaker 1: in the trailer for Liquorice Pizza right with Lee Cooper
Speaker 1: is doing some kung fu smashing thing with like car
Speaker 1: windows got like a pair of squeegees. But that doesn't
Speaker 1: happen in the movie. Never happens. The whole movie I
Speaker 1: was waiting for it never happened. I didn't step through
Speaker 1: the credits to see if like it comes off towards nothing.
Speaker 1: I mean, Samuel Jackson came out and he recruited everyone
Speaker 1: for the Avengers, but otherwise nothing about the car windows.
Speaker 1: That's the problem with movie trailers. They all go too
Speaker 1: far in one direction or another. They either showing me
Speaker 1: the stuff that's not in the movie. Oh, they're showing
Speaker 1: me the entire movie. First they fell in love, but
Speaker 1: then they broke up, but then they reunited on the
Speaker 1: Eiffel Tower. That's the big finality. You never see it coming,
Speaker 1: except we just showed it to you, so you will
Speaker 1: this summer. Stop doing that. Just pique my interest. That's it,
Speaker 1: I will say. At the same time, though, five million
Speaker 1: dollars is a big penalty, and if the movie studios
Speaker 1: should have pay five million dollars for this, like, I
Speaker 1: think it would be enough to just give them a
Speaker 1: free popcorn at the next movie, you know, but making
Speaker 1: a large popcorn because the lawyers they're gonna take two
Speaker 1: thirds of it. Yeah, that's how all works. But there
Speaker 1: should be some punishment for lying to your audience about
Speaker 1: who's in your movie. I'd just get away with that,
Speaker 1: or there's no punishment than fine, but then I should
Speaker 1: get to do it too. Yeah, make sure to stick
Speaker 1: around from my exclusive interview with the Ghost of Princess
Speaker 1: Diana coming up next. I feel if we're gonna sue
Speaker 1: movie trailers for anything, it should be for destroying our
Speaker 1: favorite childhood songs. They always like put in some creepy,
Speaker 1: slowed down version of a kid's song, like yeah, right,
Speaker 1: Like they're like ring around the roasy. I'm like, great,
Speaker 1: thanks for ruining my favorite childhood song of people dying
Speaker 1: in the plague, destroyed it forever. They're like from the
Speaker 1: creators of soul. It's head shoulders, kneeds intols crazy. It's awful.
Speaker 1: You better hope they don't reboot Jaws. It'll be like
Speaker 1: baby Shark, do do Do do? That song became very
Speaker 1: creepy when you sang it slower, trying getting that out
Speaker 1: of your head for the rest of the day, just
Speaker 1: like someone walking through if someone was singing there at
Speaker 1: night in my house really like do do do do?
Speaker 1: Do do? That's terrifying. Actually, yeah, I got nightmares about it.
Speaker 1: It could be the LSD. But you should never mind.
Speaker 1: All right, When we come back, we'll talk about west
Speaker 1: Elm Caleb and why social media is the best place
Speaker 1: to hash out your drama. You don't want to miss it,
Speaker 1: do you guys? Do you guys see this thing about
Speaker 1: West Elm Caleb. Has anybody seen the story? It's a
Speaker 1: huge story that like it has it blew up. It's weird.
Speaker 1: It started on TikTok, and then it got bigger and
Speaker 1: it went from it went from TikTok to like tabloids,
Speaker 1: and then from tabloids it went to like newspapers and
Speaker 1: like you know, the New York Times, and everyone wrote
Speaker 1: about it. The longest short of the story is, um,
Speaker 1: there's a woman on TikTok who posted a story about
Speaker 1: a bad date that she had with a guy named Caleb.
Speaker 1: Then other women saw that video and they thought she
Speaker 1: was talking about another Caleb, and then they were like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: we met Caleb, and she's like, well, not that Caleb.
Speaker 1: But they were like, but what is who's this Caleb?
Speaker 1: And so that there's a Caleb who apparently worked at
Speaker 1: West Elm, the furniture place, And then these women were
Speaker 1: not like, yeah, this Caleb is a dick. What he
Speaker 1: did was he took me on a date and then
Speaker 1: went on a bunch of dates with me and then
Speaker 1: ghosted me and disappeared. And then I don't know if
Speaker 1: like one of the women or the other one was
Speaker 1: like he also sent unsolicited dick picks. And this became
Speaker 1: a huge but it became huge online, like I mean massive, right,
Speaker 1: And then what happened was like one of the women's
Speaker 1: videos went really viral and she she put up Caleb's
Speaker 1: face and his name and everything. So people tracked him down,
Speaker 1: found his workplace, started threatening like West Elm, like about
Speaker 1: like furniture and ship and him and then um and
Speaker 1: then like he's he's gone. Now the guys like basically
Speaker 1: had to go deep undercover. He's just gone. He's a
Speaker 1: six ft four white boy named Caleb and he's gone.
Speaker 1: And he answered this, and this became a huge story
Speaker 1: in line because people were like, yeah, he got what
Speaker 1: he deserved. You know, this is terrible what he did
Speaker 1: to to two women and whatever. And I was I
Speaker 1: was going, I was watching the story of all over
Speaker 1: the weekend, and you know what was what was going
Speaker 1: through my was First of all, I was thinking, like,
Speaker 1: it's amazing how much coverage he got from ghosting. He
Speaker 1: didn't do anything like super bad. From what the people
Speaker 1: are saying, unsilic is unsolicited. Dick Picks will talk about
Speaker 1: obviously that's bad, but I'm saying he he just ghosted.
Speaker 1: And then the guy's viral on every newspaper in the country,
Speaker 1: And all I kept thinking was the wagers in China,
Speaker 1: they should go to someone I've never seen them get
Speaker 1: this much coverage. Yeah, just like ghost a few people
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, everyone's gonna be talking
Speaker 1: about you, you know. But it was wild to me
Speaker 1: that like this thing became such a big story considering
Speaker 1: it was like a private date and a private convers
Speaker 1: and don't get it. Don't get it. I'm not blaming
Speaker 1: women who went on dates for anything. It's like a
Speaker 1: commentary on the culture that we live in, do you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? But I felt like, I don't
Speaker 1: know if I was the only person I was going
Speaker 1: have we lost the ability to go on bad dates?
Speaker 1: Is that' not a thing anymore? Yeah? Because I go like,
Speaker 1: if you if you have a bad date, you're allowed
Speaker 1: to feel upset about it, right, and you should be
Speaker 1: able to talk about it. I mean you and you
Speaker 1: should be able to roast, Like if you went on
Speaker 1: a date with a ship guy, roast him all you want,
Speaker 1: Like that's in the constitution. I think the whole point
Speaker 1: of dating is so that you can talk ship about
Speaker 1: bad dates. Like that's why you go on dates, because
Speaker 1: you want to get those stories about how ship the
Speaker 1: dates were, you know. Otherwise, what's the point of dating
Speaker 1: you like trying to find love. That's boring. You don't
Speaker 1: love is like what you want at the end, but
Speaker 1: you want the bad dates stories along the way. That's
Speaker 1: why you're dating. Otherwise you just do an arranged marriage
Speaker 1: that you just go straight in. No stories, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. But now, like what what was weird
Speaker 1: to me with the story is like these people are
Speaker 1: sharing stories that I personally felt you would share with
Speaker 1: your friends, right, but now they're sharing them on social media, like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is what happened to me personally in my life.
Speaker 1: And then social media jumps on because the algorithm takes
Speaker 1: the story which is like a funny story because I
Speaker 1: should also include the woman who had like one of
Speaker 1: the most viral videos. She came out after and she's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I didn't want Caleb to get death threats. I thought
Speaker 1: I was just telling a funny story two people on TikTok,
Speaker 1: which she was. But then the algorithm goes like a conflict,
Speaker 1: you know, it's like the conflict monster, and then it
Speaker 1: put it out to the world and then the world
Speaker 1: was like, we don't see anything funny. Caleb must die.
Speaker 1: They're like west Alvim Caleb must die and I love
Speaker 1: that that was his thing. Tabloids everyone was like west
Speaker 1: Alvim Caleb, west Alm Caleb, everyone, which is shitty in
Speaker 1: my opinion. I I do not know west Elm Caleb.
Speaker 1: I have no affiliation with west Elm Caleb. I do
Speaker 1: not care for him. He's some random six and four
Speaker 1: white boy. I don't care. But maybe that's part of
Speaker 1: the reason it's fashionable to dunk on him because he's
Speaker 1: a straight white guy. So people are like, I get him,
Speaker 1: but I still go, he's a human being. We haven't
Speaker 1: heard his side of the story and people can just
Speaker 1: ship on him, and I don't think it's fair. I
Speaker 1: genuinely don't think it's fair that, like like internet mobs
Speaker 1: just jump on you like this and then your job.
Speaker 1: The ship went to his job. Imagine how your boss
Speaker 1: is there and he's like good sales quarter, you know,
Speaker 1: but the streets are saying you're a boy. No one
Speaker 1: deserves that, and west Elm doesn't deserve this. It's poor.
Speaker 1: People are trying to sell furniture. Next thing, their phones
Speaker 1: are ringing off the hook. They mustn't be like, oh, ship,
Speaker 1: dads are working when they pick up the Hello, what
Speaker 1: no no, I won't forward your bomb to Caleb, thank you,
Speaker 1: And it's like this. The story for me was like
Speaker 1: the perfect encapsulation of all the things that are great
Speaker 1: about social media, but then also on the downsides of
Speaker 1: social media. And part of it was a lot of
Speaker 1: the language that people were using because they were saying
Speaker 1: what Caleb does because apparently he sent some of the
Speaker 1: women the same playlist that he sent the other women,
Speaker 1: but he called them different names, and so they were like, oh,
Speaker 1: he's gas lighting us. I was like, no, that's just
Speaker 1: recycling game, you know what I mean? That that's most
Speaker 1: people have limited game. I don't know why everyone thinks
Speaker 1: they're fancy. Most people. Everything you think that's unique about
Speaker 1: a person, they've done to everybody else that they've met. Oh, well,
Speaker 1: is it just me? Or are you Yeah, you've done
Speaker 1: this many times. There's nothing spontaneous about anybody. They've done
Speaker 1: all the ship that you've met, them doing every sexual position,
Speaker 1: every everything. Do you know what I mean? They're not
Speaker 1: gaslighting you. And then they were saying he's loved bombing,
Speaker 1: which if I understand correctly, means he was he like
Speaker 1: like just he piled it on thick at the beginning
Speaker 1: and then just disappeared after it. So he was like,
Speaker 1: I like you, I like you, I like your texting, texting, texting.
Speaker 1: Then he disappeared, and they were like, that's love bombing.
Speaker 1: And here's the thing. I'm glad that people are going
Speaker 1: to therapy. I'm going to therapy. Everyone's going to therapy,
Speaker 1: but we should be careful to bring the therapy speak
Speaker 1: into life because we are not therapists, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. I don't know if this is love bombing.
Speaker 1: I think this is human nature. We get obsessed with
Speaker 1: the thing when it's new. We love using it, and
Speaker 1: that's it. When I was young, my mom bought me
Speaker 1: a fire truck. I drove the ship out of that
Speaker 1: fire truck like the whole house was burning for a week.
Speaker 1: And then I didn't use the fire truck. My mom
Speaker 1: didn't come and be like you love bombing that fire truck.
Speaker 1: She's just like you, you got bored. The thing is
Speaker 1: not what you know what I mean. And then they're like,
Speaker 1: this is abuse. This is a form of abuse. Look, man,
Speaker 1: I take abuse really seriously. I think we all should,
Speaker 1: you know, But I don't think all rejection is abuse.
Speaker 1: Life is about getting rejected. Unfortunately, for everyone to get
Speaker 1: a yes, someone had to get a note, every one
Speaker 1: of us here. The fact that you're in a relationship
Speaker 1: with someone is because other people rejected them or rejected you.
Speaker 1: That's the only reason we get there. Life is about rejection.
Speaker 1: People have a right to reject you. It's ships, but
Speaker 1: they have a right to reject you, you know, all
Speaker 1: of these things, like people. It's like, now we're living
Speaker 1: in a world where people are like, oh, no, I
Speaker 1: you know, I don't have a right to not feel good. No,
Speaker 1: that's I don't want you to not feel good. But
Speaker 1: people have a right to reject you. In fact, ghosting
Speaker 1: it's not as bad as people think because the person
Speaker 1: is sending you a message. By not sending you a message,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, I've never been ghosted
Speaker 1: and being like, but how do they feel about me?
Speaker 1: That's what do they telling you? They're telling you He's like,
Speaker 1: I don't know how they feel about the Yeah, you
Speaker 1: know how that? You know what I mean. The only
Speaker 1: people who don't understand ghosting is those automatic services that
Speaker 1: text you. Then they say reply stop. If you want
Speaker 1: to stop getting these messages, please reply stop. You know,
Speaker 1: so I don't know. I think it was unfair for
Speaker 1: west ELM Caleb because look, I get, I get what
Speaker 1: that woman was doing. She was telling a funny story online.
Speaker 1: I don't think she should have included his face. I
Speaker 1: don't think she should have included his name. You can
Speaker 1: tell the story and it will be just as funny
Speaker 1: without telling. You could even calling furniture boy. And that's
Speaker 1: a great name, furniture boy. Great, you know. But then
Speaker 1: I think a society as well, we need to calm
Speaker 1: down with just being these like you know, we're not
Speaker 1: even like detectives. We just jump into viral mobs. We
Speaker 1: don't know the people. We don't know the full story,
Speaker 1: all right. All we know is that strangers are having
Speaker 1: drama and then before you know it, we just decided
Speaker 1: to insert ourselves. And I always think to myself, before
Speaker 1: you insert yourself in any drama like this, ask yourself
Speaker 1: if that's what you would want strangers doing to you.
Speaker 1: Just ask yourself that question. That's just my opinion on it,
Speaker 1: you know, And and please, I know, people, I'm not
Speaker 1: talking about the dick pics. Just to be clear, I'm
Speaker 1: not including that unsolicited dick picks are never okay, never okay,
Speaker 1: dick picks in general, people, I don't know why anyone
Speaker 1: is sending dick picks. All right, They're not cool, do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like, have you ever seen
Speaker 1: the statue of David even there Michael Njelo was like
Speaker 1: giant statue dick. No, hen just he's like, you're doing
Speaker 1: this thing now. Dicks are not like, they're not cool.
Speaker 1: No one's days ever made better by an unexpected dick pick.
Speaker 1: You know, no one's ever like girls really depressed. But
Speaker 1: then it's so very he's dick, and I thought, you
Speaker 1: know what, everything's gonna be okay, Like if a woman
Speaker 1: wants to see your dick, she will ask you for
Speaker 1: a picture, or she'll watch Euphoria. It's like a dick
Speaker 1: of minutes in that show, which is great. Don't send
Speaker 1: your dick to anybody. Nobody, nobody's days made better by
Speaker 1: you randomly sending them your dick. Have you seen veenuses?
Speaker 1: Look like depressed old men who wants to see your dick?
Speaker 1: So that's west down kid. Oh, by the way, did
Speaker 1: I tell you about the dates I had with the
Speaker 1: restoration hard Way Heather, Welcome back to the Daily Show.
Speaker 1: My guest tonight is Mindfulness Experts Jay Shetty. He's here
Speaker 1: to talk about his new partnership with the meditation app Calm.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the day. Thanks for having me. Many people
Speaker 1: see your face and they go like, I know this guy.
Speaker 1: I know him from Instagram. Maybe you know I know
Speaker 1: him from having conversations with Oprah, with Ellen or you
Speaker 1: you very quick, they have become the face of I
Speaker 1: mean Calm for many people. You know and and and
Speaker 1: You've talked about thinking like a monk your New York
Speaker 1: Times best selling book. So I wanted to know this.
Speaker 1: Number one, what does a monk think like? I know
Speaker 1: it's in the whole book. What does a monk think like?
Speaker 1: And secondly, when was the last time you got angry?
Speaker 1: So one of the first things that I realized when
Speaker 1: I trained to become a monk is that monks are
Speaker 1: very normal there. We're all normal people. They come from
Speaker 1: normal backgrounds. They weren't born monks like you don't come
Speaker 1: out of the womb as a month and so a
Speaker 1: big part of that was learning new mindsets. So we
Speaker 1: were on a seventy two hour train journey from the
Speaker 1: north of India to the south of India. Now, as
Speaker 1: a monk, you don't travel in first class, you don't
Speaker 1: travel in economy. You travel in the lowest class possible.
Speaker 1: So we're on the train. Wait why, because you're trying
Speaker 1: to have as least attachment to your surroundings and at
Speaker 1: least least desires. Now, I stopped at the different stops,
Speaker 1: I get off and I meditate. I get back on
Speaker 1: the train and my teacher notices that, and he says
Speaker 1: to me, why are you not meditating on the train?
Speaker 1: And he said, well, all, I said, it's so hectic
Speaker 1: on the train, but the stop is peaceful. So I
Speaker 1: get off at the stop, I do my meditation, and
Speaker 1: I get get back on. And he said, do you
Speaker 1: think life is peaceful like the stop or is it
Speaker 1: difficult like the train? And you know, I'm not like
Speaker 1: my first week of monk training right now, And I said,
Speaker 1: I think it's difficult like the train. He said, well,
Speaker 1: that's where you practice how to meditate. So that's how
Speaker 1: monks think. Monks think, how can we be in the chaos,
Speaker 1: be in the clutter, but still look for stillness in
Speaker 1: that time? So when was the last time you got angry?
Speaker 1: The last time I got angry would have to be
Speaker 1: probably like a month ago, were you angry about I
Speaker 1: think it was angry because I didn't get the Christmas gift.
Speaker 1: I wanted the opposite, the opposite. Would your monk teachers
Speaker 1: say about that, they'd be very, very disappointed. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: So this this is an interesting life that you've lived,
Speaker 1: j because I mean, you decided, you know what, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna go straight into business. I'm gonna go to
Speaker 1: to the world of being a monk. What stopped you
Speaker 1: from continuing the monk life? You know, like, don't most
Speaker 1: monks call like I don't want for anything, I don't
Speaker 1: need anything, no attachment, And that's what it feels like.
Speaker 1: You've gone opposite, You've gone monk. But then I also
Speaker 1: don't mind bawling. So most of my friends are still monks,
Speaker 1: and a lot of them have continued to be lifelong monks.
Speaker 1: And for me, it was a purpose. The way we
Speaker 1: were trained was that the greatest gift, or the greatest
Speaker 1: focus of a human is how can I serve others?
Speaker 1: How can I best help others and serve others? And
Speaker 1: so when I shared this doubt that I had with
Speaker 1: my teachers, they said to me, Jay, we feel the
Speaker 1: same way. We feel that you'd better serve if you
Speaker 1: were to move on. I think that was a nice
Speaker 1: way of saying with you, Yeah, that seems like you
Speaker 1: it's me relationship breaker. But but they agreed with me.
Speaker 1: And now when I still go and study with my teachers,
Speaker 1: or I meet with them, or I travel with them,
Speaker 1: it's really beautiful to see how they've continued with that
Speaker 1: completely detached lifestyle. But they're so kind and gracious with
Speaker 1: how they allow me to be my true self and
Speaker 1: allow me to serve in that way. And I think
Speaker 1: that's what we're all looking for. We're looking to be
Speaker 1: accepted for who we truly are, to accept ourselves, but
Speaker 1: to use what we've been given to serve and help others.
Speaker 1: Let's talk a little bit about the Calm app then.
Speaker 1: I think we all want to become more present. We
Speaker 1: all want to be less shaken by the world every
Speaker 1: single day. And then you get apps on your phone
Speaker 1: that are helping you to disconnect from your phone and
Speaker 1: find the calm, Like there is a paradox in that,
Speaker 1: and you're teaming up with Calm now to to to
Speaker 1: essentially curate experiences around mindfulness. Is that in and of
Speaker 1: itself not a paradox or we're not living in a
Speaker 1: world where you should be going like, no phones. I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna email you guys something that you can read
Speaker 1: once and then you're gonna know how to meditate. It's
Speaker 1: a massive paradox. I mean, Trevor, if you're ready to
Speaker 1: come with me to India tomorrow and we're gonna pack
Speaker 1: our bags three months, not use our phones, we'll do
Speaker 1: a little retreat together. I'm in I would do that
Speaker 1: if you people here didn't pay me. That's a problem
Speaker 1: for everyone now. And so I understand that people can't
Speaker 1: just leave. They can't just stop. Everyone has bills to pay,
Speaker 1: everyone has lives to lead, everyone has children or family
Speaker 1: or whatever it may be. So I think we have
Speaker 1: to meet people where they are. And to me, that's
Speaker 1: what the appstitude there's you're meeting someone where they are
Speaker 1: in the world, that they understand, in the world, that
Speaker 1: they can contextualize. And if we can create a platform
Speaker 1: whereby for seven minutes a day, you're using your phone
Speaker 1: to invest in yourself, you're using your phone to take
Speaker 1: time for yourself, then I think that's a great starting point,
Speaker 1: and that's what it is. What do you think the
Speaker 1: biggest misconception around meditation is I think the biggest misconception
Speaker 1: or our meditation is that you have to change what
Speaker 1: you're wearing, you have to change where you're sitting, and
Speaker 1: that you have to silence the mind. I think people
Speaker 1: are trying to quiet their mind. They're trying to stop
Speaker 1: everything from happening. And meditation is not about stopping. It's
Speaker 1: about observing, it's about sitting with it's about understanding, it's
Speaker 1: about being curious. You now live in I mean the
Speaker 1: hearts of capitalism. You know, it's the exact of what
Speaker 1: you did for three years in India. You know, there's money,
Speaker 1: there's money to be made. There's a balance between giving
Speaker 1: a thing and getting a thing in return. I even
Speaker 1: think about this with like meditation and therapy. Sometimes I go,
Speaker 1: it's amazing that the thing most people need the most
Speaker 1: is the thing that you have to pay for, So, like,
Speaker 1: how do you balance that conundrum in a world where
Speaker 1: you're trying to do for others, but then it seems
Speaker 1: like sometimes it can only be for something in exchange. Yeah,
Speaker 1: one of the biggest things that I've definitely tried to do,
Speaker 1: and that's why the partnership with Calm is awesome. Is
Speaker 1: we've tried to provide the service at scale. So right now,
Speaker 1: if you sign up, you can sign up for forty
Speaker 1: two dollars for the whole year. Okay, so that's like
Speaker 1: three and a half dollars a month, right, Like, that's
Speaker 1: the average. So it's fully accessible. We've tried to make
Speaker 1: it as affordable and accessible for each and every human
Speaker 1: on the planet because that's the true desire. But the
Speaker 1: way I grappulate with that is I really enjoy being
Speaker 1: in the battle and realizing how weak I am and
Speaker 1: seeing my ego arise, seeing my attachment of money come through,
Speaker 1: and then having to process it and work on it,
Speaker 1: rather than be so removed that I believe I'm pure.
Speaker 1: So I'd rather be reminded of my flaws and impurities
Speaker 1: and have to grapple with that on a daily basis
Speaker 1: to make me hold on to higher ideals, then be
Speaker 1: so far removed from them that I walk around feeling
Speaker 1: like I've conquered my mind, but in reality, I haven't.
Speaker 1: So I really enjoyed that paradox. Man, It's quite the
Speaker 1: paradox um I could talk to you for hours about this,
Speaker 1: but thank you so much for joining me on the show,
Speaker 1: and congratulations on all of your success. Hopefully we'll we'll
Speaker 1: have you again when the mid terms are on and
Speaker 1: then we'll test all of these theories. I'd love to
Speaker 1: help a barrier calm down. Thank you so much. Thank
Speaker 1: you appreciate it. Be sure to check out The Daily Jay,
Speaker 1: available exclusively on Calm Alright, we're gonna take a quick break,
Speaker 1: but we'll be right back after this. Well that's our
Speaker 1: show for tonight's but before we go, This weekend was
Speaker 1: the forty ninth anniversary of Roe v. Wade, and while
Speaker 1: it is the law in much of the country, women's
Speaker 1: reproductive rights are being threatened, but Planned Parentshood is on
Speaker 1: the ground helping deliver vital reproductive healthcare, sex education and
Speaker 1: information to millions of people, not just in the United
Speaker 1: States but worldwide. So if you want to support them
Speaker 1: in their mission, then please donate at the link below
Speaker 1: until tomorrow. Stay safe out there, get your vaccine, and remember,
Speaker 1: just because James Bond is in the trailer doesn't mean
Speaker 1: he's in the movie. What's The Daily Show weeknights at
Speaker 1: eleven tenth Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes
Speaker 1: anytime on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central
Speaker 1: podcast