WEBVTT - Lois + Jane 0:00:03.680 --> 0:00:08.840 You're gonna give you the wrong coffee. Now, getting out 0:00:08.840 --> 0:00:11.399 of here pain and go back to you your little 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:14.600 man caves. We might not make it to fifty seven years. 0:00:14.640 --> 0:00:17.560 I'm telling you that right back. Well, now you got 0:00:17.560 --> 0:00:24.720 a career who needs That's one of those hangers on rita. 0:00:25.160 --> 0:00:27.400 Do you know who we're gonna be hearing today. We're 0:00:27.400 --> 0:00:31.280 gonna hear a great duo Lois and Jane. And from 0:00:31.280 --> 0:00:34.320 what I hear, these are two terrific people. And they're 0:00:34.440 --> 0:00:38.120 so similar they're like almost one. I'm very much looking 0:00:38.120 --> 0:00:45.199 forward to it. Oh, please pass me the page with 0:00:45.400 --> 0:00:49.960 the O bits. I cheer those who hit ninety three 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:54.200 on a very good day with the O bits. All 0:00:54.240 --> 0:01:06.120 the old folks are older than me. Lois Stein is 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:09.360 my grandmother. She's eighty nine years old and she lives 0:01:09.360 --> 0:01:14.279 in Long Island. She is the greatest grandmother of all time. 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:19.720 She is so popular, she's so bright, she's so talented 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:26.679 and funny, and I'm incredibly close to her. She's just 0:01:26.880 --> 0:01:34.000 like me. Phone man is Jane Rebecca Rosenfeld. This recording 0:01:34.080 --> 0:01:35.959 was the first time we've seen each other in four 0:01:36.000 --> 0:01:39.199 months because of the coronavirus. We talked on the phone 0:01:39.240 --> 0:01:42.120 and through face time, through the whole shutdown. But there's 0:01:42.200 --> 0:01:45.160 really nothing like seeing her in person. If you asked 0:01:45.200 --> 0:01:50.640 me to describer, I would say that they should synergetic, friendly, warm, 0:01:51.040 --> 0:01:55.160 everybody loves her. That's not what she's like me kind 0:01:55.680 --> 0:02:01.640 and she staying the best teacher. We really think of 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:05.000 each other more as friends than as grandmother and grandchild. 0:02:05.520 --> 0:02:08.440 Even more than that, almost as an older and younger 0:02:08.560 --> 0:02:12.400 version of the same person. It was very early on 0:02:12.480 --> 0:02:15.360 in my life that we discovered our special bond. I 0:02:15.480 --> 0:02:20.880 came to her second birthday and everybody was playing. She 0:02:21.000 --> 0:02:24.280 came over to me and said, I want to play, Mama, 0:02:25.240 --> 0:02:28.639 And we went into the bedroom and we play. Yeah. 0:02:28.680 --> 0:02:31.799 I was more excited about having my grandma play with 0:02:31.800 --> 0:02:34.440 me than the like fifty friends that my parents had 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:38.560 probably invited. I remember telling my mom whispering in her ear, 0:02:38.639 --> 0:02:42.480 like can she sleep over? From then on, I think 0:02:42.480 --> 0:02:45.760 we've always had a lot of fun together. One word 0:02:45.760 --> 0:02:52.000 of advice for new grandmother's, feed them. It's just like 0:02:52.080 --> 0:02:56.560 a puppy dog. The first movie I ever saw in 0:02:56.680 --> 0:02:58.880 theaters was with my grandma. We went to see The 0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:02.080 Wizard of Oz. There was this movie theater really close 0:03:02.080 --> 0:03:03.800 to where I grew up on the Upper West Side. 0:03:03.840 --> 0:03:06.480 It was on the east side. Actually, no, it was 0:03:06.520 --> 0:03:09.480 the one on a hund and Broadway. Sure, yeah, I'm positive. 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:14.600 And I was so so scared. I think I remember 0:03:14.760 --> 0:03:18.920 like asking if we could leave. She chooses two seats 0:03:18.960 --> 0:03:22.640 in the top row in the corner, and she was 0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:28.520 wearing a blue and white check dress like Dorothy. But 0:03:28.600 --> 0:03:31.440 I was really scared of that movie. For many years. 0:03:31.480 --> 0:03:35.080 I was too. Yeah, you were to see the monkeys. 0:03:41.440 --> 0:03:44.200 I have to smile because that move and see it 0:03:44.320 --> 0:03:47.480 is right near where I live, and it's still there, 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:52.200 closed and it is a scary movie. She's right. I 0:03:52.240 --> 0:03:55.040 love the closeness that they have, and I love the 0:03:55.160 --> 0:03:59.080 biplay between the two of them and their wonderful memories 0:03:59.120 --> 0:04:02.080 seemed to be this same memories. Although Jane said it 0:04:02.160 --> 0:04:04.200 was on the east side and the grandmother said it 0:04:04.280 --> 0:04:06.760 was on the west side, and which because she's eighty 0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:11.520 nine years old, I'm Mandy, and I remember there's nobody 0:04:11.600 --> 0:04:16.320 like you. I loved it. I thought my granddaughter and 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:20.479 I were closed there, even closer. They're adorable and I 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:22.800 read obits. If I don't see my name, I get 0:04:22.839 --> 0:04:25.760 out of bed. When you get to our age, you 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:28.400 read obits. It's a sixth thing to do, but we 0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:31.800 read it. My mother used to get the New York 0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:35.080 Times every day and the first thing she went to 0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:41.200 was the obits, and then she would read them and go, oh, oh, 0:04:41.600 --> 0:04:45.640 what's the matter? Mom? A Jewish man. There could be 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:49.640 nine other people who had died, but my mother is 0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:55.479 a Jewish Man. I look at the obits and I said, 0:04:55.480 --> 0:04:58.400 if I don't see myself, I'm the bill that's right. 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:01.520 And my sister in we want to make sure that 0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:04.720 they do the right thing. So we both wrote all bits, 0:05:04.800 --> 0:05:07.800 which we're holding kicking when we go. I have one. 0:05:08.240 --> 0:05:11.400 I have absolutely got one that I wrote. Nobody knows 0:05:11.480 --> 0:05:14.120 me better than I do. I said, I don't need 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:17.240 a big funeral. Just make sure my opening is posted 0:05:17.279 --> 0:05:20.000 in the New York Times and then you write, you know, 0:05:20.120 --> 0:05:26.760 something like with thousands in attendance. The congregation mourned right. 0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:29.600 I told my kids, I'm not gonna die in the 0:05:29.600 --> 0:05:33.040 pandemic because you can't have a funeral. And when I go, 0:05:33.160 --> 0:05:36.000 I want a big funeral. I want everybody coming, I 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:39.839 want everybody crying. I want everybody to say nice things 0:05:39.960 --> 0:05:42.880 even if they don't mean it. If I'm around, I 0:05:42.920 --> 0:05:46.360 want to give I'm gonna tell my kids. She's very 0:05:46.400 --> 0:05:50.840 good at this. She does a terrific ulity. If the 0:05:51.040 --> 0:05:59.159 podcasts you could be don't have a career, you don't 0:05:59.200 --> 0:06:08.760 do podas Algie I called my company. And if we 0:06:08.839 --> 0:06:11.760 can laugh about these things, what can I tell what? 0:06:12.000 --> 0:06:14.680 I don't think I laugh with anybody like I laugh 0:06:14.800 --> 0:06:20.479 with your reader. Okay. I was just handed a list 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:24.000 of part titles, and this is the first one. Part one, 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:32.560 How to make friends and influence people. My grandmother has 0:06:32.600 --> 0:06:36.680 this extraordinary ability to make friends. She has stories of 0:06:37.200 --> 0:06:39.240 seeing what a person is reading on the subway and 0:06:39.320 --> 0:06:42.200 talking to them about it, or walking down the street 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:45.400 and complimenting someone on what they're wearing, and becoming friends 0:06:45.480 --> 0:06:48.200 with my friends. And then before you know it, you're 0:06:48.240 --> 0:06:52.240 invited to the pool, and you're invited for Thanksgiving. At 0:06:52.279 --> 0:06:54.839 the end of the hour, I might ask you over 0:06:55.600 --> 0:06:57.640 somehow though you still have time to talk to me. 0:06:58.360 --> 0:07:03.000 We talk every single night. We do the crossword mini 0:07:03.120 --> 0:07:06.320 puzzle as soon as it goes live at ten, and 0:07:06.520 --> 0:07:10.200 we have a competition. And she would give me a handicap, 0:07:10.680 --> 0:07:15.200 so she had to do it faster than maid to win. 0:07:15.960 --> 0:07:19.480 She has more of a party, nightlife, sleep schedule than 0:07:19.520 --> 0:07:22.960 I do, because I watch KOBEA and I go to 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:26.640 bed at ten of twelve because then my son Wretched 0:07:26.800 --> 0:07:30.520 goals to discuss scope. And then she's up at like 0:07:30.640 --> 0:07:32.840 eleven in the morning, and I don't come down till 0:07:32.920 --> 0:07:36.720 twelve because it takes me three hours to get ready 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:40.440 when it used to take me ten minutes. And then 0:07:40.600 --> 0:07:44.520 there are the lists. She'll make, lists about anything, list 0:07:44.560 --> 0:07:46.560 of all her friends, list of all her kids friends, 0:07:46.880 --> 0:07:49.440 list of all the people who help her on the house, 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:51.800 so she's eventually gonna owe money too one day when 0:07:51.840 --> 0:07:54.320 she dies. And then recently she's been making a list 0:07:54.400 --> 0:07:57.080 of all of her friends who have died, just to 0:07:57.200 --> 0:08:00.320 compare the numbers, which I've told her she should doing 0:08:00.400 --> 0:08:03.080 because it makes her sad, but she actually seems to 0:08:03.560 --> 0:08:08.280 enjoy it quite a bit. But I have two replacements, 0:08:09.680 --> 0:08:12.760 and usually the replacements are the people who have died, 0:08:12.920 --> 0:08:18.360 their children and their grandchildren who love her. Soon Lois 0:08:18.400 --> 0:08:21.600 will be ninety. She'd been planning her ninety birthday party 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:27.040 for years, but then the pandemic arrived. The governor had 0:08:27.080 --> 0:08:29.120 stated that you could only have parties in groups of 0:08:29.200 --> 0:08:31.760 ten or less. One of the things she mentioned was 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:35.800 having nine different parties of ten people, and they kind 0:08:35.840 --> 0:08:38.720 of correspond to the list. A party of her family, 0:08:38.800 --> 0:08:41.880 a party of her dead friend's children, a party of 0:08:41.920 --> 0:08:43.760 all the people who help her on the house, a 0:08:43.840 --> 0:08:46.480 party of her neighbors. I would have had a party 0:08:46.880 --> 0:08:52.079 with my grandmother and I tell each other everything, and 0:08:52.160 --> 0:08:55.040 in the process, we've discovered that our lives overlap in 0:08:55.120 --> 0:08:58.560 countless ways. So we decided early on we should write 0:08:58.600 --> 0:09:02.559 a book together. So, for example, I'll write about the 0:09:02.640 --> 0:09:04.880 first time I was in love and will compare and 0:09:05.000 --> 0:09:07.320 see how they are the same, see how they're different 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:11.439 depending on time and place. And the title is then 0:09:11.559 --> 0:09:19.160 and Now. My grandmother has mastered the art of getting 0:09:19.240 --> 0:09:22.480 exactly what she wants out of life. I've always thought 0:09:22.600 --> 0:09:24.840 she must have gotten this from her parents, who seemed 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:28.480 to turn every situation into an advantage. I grew up 0:09:28.840 --> 0:09:32.719 in the Bronx opposite the Yankee Stadium. They put in 0:09:33.320 --> 0:09:38.360 night baseball for the first time, and it's shown into 0:09:38.440 --> 0:09:43.040 my father's bedroom. And my father was an attorney, and 0:09:43.160 --> 0:09:46.240 he wrote them a letter that he'd serve them with 0:09:46.360 --> 0:09:50.160 an injunction if they did not turn off the lights, 0:09:51.120 --> 0:09:56.160 and they wrote back, Mr Weinberg, you're in your legal rights, 0:09:56.840 --> 0:10:01.000 But instead of ruining the pleasure of millions of people, 0:10:01.240 --> 0:10:04.439 will you be our guests with your family in a 0:10:04.600 --> 0:10:08.760 box seat every night baseball game. I wish we still 0:10:08.800 --> 0:10:11.800 had those box seats. Things like that always seemed to 0:10:11.840 --> 0:10:14.040 happen to you when you were growing up. And did 0:10:14.160 --> 0:10:18.160 that make me popular? So you were like the cool 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:20.040 girl in the apartment building? I don't know if I 0:10:20.200 --> 0:10:22.880 was cool. I always thought I was a drip. I 0:10:23.000 --> 0:10:25.439 still was like a ringleader. Why do you think you 0:10:25.520 --> 0:10:29.360 were a drip? Because I was tall? That was my 0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:32.920 biggest hang up. I don't know. I just didn't swing 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:35.440 the way a lot of the girls did, and I'd 0:10:35.440 --> 0:10:39.400 never be picked to be a cheerleader or something. You're 0:10:39.440 --> 0:10:46.520 not a drip, Nana. I realized that now, finally she's funny. 0:10:47.000 --> 0:10:49.720 She's really got a good sense of humor. She's moving 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:53.360 her life a little very nicely. The grandmother, absolutely, the 0:10:53.440 --> 0:10:56.360 grand daughter is amazing. The things the grandmother does. You 0:10:56.440 --> 0:10:59.640 know what I'm so interested in is that the disparity 0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:04.280 and age and yet there's such a closeness. It's real friendship, 0:11:04.440 --> 0:11:07.000 and I envy that. I have to say, she and 0:11:07.120 --> 0:11:09.520 I have a lot in common. If I make a 0:11:09.640 --> 0:11:13.240 list and go to the supermarket, I forget the list 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:16.360 at home, no matter what lest I make. It gives 0:11:16.400 --> 0:11:18.839 you something to do. If you make lists, you may 0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:21.040 have to use it, but it kind of keeps your 0:11:21.120 --> 0:11:24.520 mind in order. You know, I do keep list to 0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:27.720 the medications I take, for which I probably need about 0:11:27.840 --> 0:11:35.559 four cell phones. Okay, Ellen, you know it's time for 0:11:35.679 --> 0:11:38.520 commercial break. Okay, it's fine. It gives me time to 0:11:38.559 --> 0:11:41.240 have a fight with Peter, a fight or a bite, 0:11:42.040 --> 0:11:53.080 A fight, a fight, Okay. The next part is part two, 0:11:53.720 --> 0:12:03.160 Embarrassing parents. My parents swore lawyers, including my mother, and 0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:07.760 I was so ashamed of that because everybody else mother 0:12:07.960 --> 0:12:11.920 was a housewife. And when I was at school, the 0:12:12.080 --> 0:12:16.240 teacher asked everybody what their father did, and then she 0:12:16.400 --> 0:12:20.360 went and lois, tell the children what your mother does? 0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:26.319 And I said, she's a housewife? Wow? Really, yes, Oh 0:12:26.400 --> 0:12:28.760 my goodness. People would think it's so cool, but she 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:33.640 was in this generation. And the other thing was we 0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:37.079 had air Aide drills, and not only was she the 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:42.360 only woman air aid warden. She was the sector warden, 0:12:43.200 --> 0:12:45.959 so I was ashamed of that too, but yet had 0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:50.080 a very good relationship with her. Yeah, I don't see 0:12:50.160 --> 0:12:53.439 me resembling either of them in my way of life. 0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:58.520 Did somebody else entirely kind of influence? You know, you've 0:12:58.559 --> 0:13:01.920 just sort of paved your own know, I just influenced me. 0:13:03.120 --> 0:13:08.200 Oh my goodness, your trailblazer. I went to law school 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:11.120 like she did, but not to be a lawyer. I 0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:14.640 wanted to meet a guy. No, I didn't want to 0:13:14.679 --> 0:13:17.240 be a pace set like she wants. But I think 0:13:17.320 --> 0:13:22.000 I became one. Yeah, maybe unintentionally. You actually really admired 0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:26.880 everything your mother did, I guess. So she ran an 0:13:27.000 --> 0:13:35.000 international women's exposition was wartime and Eleanor Roosevelt came to speak, 0:13:35.520 --> 0:13:39.439 and my mother asked me to escort her from the 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:43.520 entrance to the stage. And I didn't want to go 0:13:43.800 --> 0:13:47.640 take some old lady there, and she said, if you 0:13:47.800 --> 0:13:53.000 don't do this, you'll regret it all your life. So 0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:58.160 I did it, and she did nothing but asked me 0:13:58.280 --> 0:14:03.480 about myself all the way to the stage. How my 0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:12.120 mother was right. I'm still telling people Eleanorman FD are 0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:16.880 unbelievable couple. Unbelievable. She actually was his you know, his 0:14:17.040 --> 0:14:19.880 legs in the world. She went all over and brought 0:14:19.920 --> 0:14:22.560 back all the information she was. She was really like 0:14:22.760 --> 0:14:25.720 the seer good President. She was a woman way before 0:14:25.800 --> 0:14:30.200 her time, way before her time. Absolutely, that's something she'll 0:14:30.200 --> 0:14:33.040 always have as a memory. And you know what it means. 0:14:33.360 --> 0:14:35.920 You got to take advantage of things in life, no 0:14:36.080 --> 0:14:39.120 matter when. Just go with it. That's what makes life. 0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:42.200 You gotta hang on to every experience because you'll never 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:46.000 know when you're doing a podcast that's right, that's right, 0:14:46.440 --> 0:14:52.600 And I'm terrific. Imagine to be ashamed to be a lawyer, unbelievable. 0:14:52.680 --> 0:14:55.760 It just shows you how times have changed. And as 0:14:55.800 --> 0:14:58.200 I said once before on the podcast, I would have 0:14:58.280 --> 0:15:00.400 loved to been a lawyer, and I think Guy would 0:15:00.400 --> 0:15:03.000 have been good, but it just was not an option. 0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:07.200 Look at RBG. She couldn't even get a job when 0:15:07.280 --> 0:15:10.960 she got out of top law schools number one in 0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:14.840 Harvard Law. Now Columbia Law. She got out of Columbia Law. 0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:20.720 So times have changed. Women have the opportunity today, Yes, yes, 0:15:22.680 --> 0:15:26.680 And now we're gonna see in part three how Lois 0:15:26.800 --> 0:15:30.200 met her husband. I'm always curious about how people make 0:15:30.280 --> 0:15:34.280 their husbands. This should be very interesting. So you're a 0:15:34.360 --> 0:15:36.720 third grade teacher at the time, and a new third 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:39.720 grade teacher at a different school asked for your advice 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:42.360 on what to teach her students, and she was really 0:15:42.440 --> 0:15:46.680 impressed with your lesson plans. The teacher there said, oh, 0:15:47.440 --> 0:15:51.520 my nephew would love a girl like that. So she 0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:54.320 asked me and I said, I don't go on a 0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:58.000 blind date. She said, he has a drug store on 0:15:58.160 --> 0:16:01.840 Hunt five screen. We could go up and look him over. 0:16:02.640 --> 0:16:04.800 So you and your friend Esther went to the pharmacy 0:16:04.880 --> 0:16:08.000 to introduce yourselves to Lenny. And after a brief exchange, 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:11.360 you left the pharmacy and my grandfather had you followed 0:16:11.440 --> 0:16:14.240 by his delivery boy. And what was it you said 0:16:14.280 --> 0:16:18.760 to Esther? I said to her, not bad, not bad. 0:16:19.440 --> 0:16:22.320 And then the delivery boy brought the message back to 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:25.680 my grandfather at the pharmacy. He said to Lenny, they 0:16:25.800 --> 0:16:29.960 say not bad, not bad. A few weeks after that, 0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:32.520 Esther ran into Lenny at a bar mitzvah they both 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:35.280 happened to be invited to, and has just said to him, 0:16:35.760 --> 0:16:38.000 what did you think of the girl I brought in 0:16:38.120 --> 0:16:43.440 the drug store? And he said, not bad, not bad. 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:47.960 So Esther wrote Lois his name on a napkin and 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:51.440 handed it to Lenny. But there was another woman at 0:16:51.480 --> 0:16:54.880 the party who wanted Lenny for her daughter. She wrote 0:16:54.960 --> 0:16:57.480 her daughter's name on a napkin too and handed it 0:16:57.600 --> 0:17:00.800 to him, and as fate would have it, in all 0:17:00.920 --> 0:17:05.520 of this napkin transferring, he lost the other napkin and 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:09.600 then he called. This was all sounding very promising. He 0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:13.000 was terrific as a date. So he took me up 0:17:13.040 --> 0:17:16.480 to Connecticut and he brought an easel and made sketches 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:19.119 of it, and he took me ice skating, and he 0:17:19.200 --> 0:17:23.000 took me to theater, and he was very imaginative. Now 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:27.520 I liked my courtship, my court and I really began 0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:30.719 to like him. But there was a problem. He had 0:17:30.800 --> 0:17:35.320 never been in the service, and nobody in those days 0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:39.840 that was dating me and served in the service. And 0:17:39.920 --> 0:17:43.840 he looked perfectly healthy. And I said, did you ever 0:17:44.000 --> 0:17:49.000 spend time in a mental institution? And he said, I 0:17:49.160 --> 0:17:53.000 took you to theater and dancing, and you think I'm crazy. 0:17:53.520 --> 0:17:57.440 And it turned out that he had puncture ear drums 0:17:57.960 --> 0:18:02.280 since he was five, and those days they didn't put 0:18:02.359 --> 0:18:07.119 you into service if you weren't, you know, perfect, He 0:18:07.320 --> 0:18:11.479 asked me to marry him. The next day he called 0:18:11.560 --> 0:18:14.879 and said his mother said it was too soon. He 0:18:15.000 --> 0:18:18.320 didn't know me long enough, so we should call it off. 0:18:18.640 --> 0:18:21.320 So I did, and I made a date with somebody 0:18:21.359 --> 0:18:24.639 else that weekend. Wow, you were not waiting for anyone, 0:18:24.840 --> 0:18:28.399 but there were two people in between. Um what, I 0:18:28.520 --> 0:18:31.160 didn't even know that. Oh my gosh. All right, well, 0:18:31.400 --> 0:18:35.000 you've certainly met your fair share of men, and Lenny 0:18:35.040 --> 0:18:38.280 at the pharmacy still wanted to see you. I said 0:18:38.320 --> 0:18:40.160 to him, I have to do it in two weeks, 0:18:40.359 --> 0:18:42.800 because I told the other guy i'd go out with 0:18:42.920 --> 0:18:46.280 him next week. Apparently my grandfather was okay with this, 0:18:46.480 --> 0:18:48.399 because you kept your date with the new guy to 0:18:48.480 --> 0:18:51.840 go dancing, and you had a great time. Right, But 0:18:52.080 --> 0:18:55.080 you did save the following weekend for my grandfather. I 0:18:55.200 --> 0:18:58.359 played with his nephew and nine month old baby, and 0:18:58.480 --> 0:19:01.800 he watched me, and he's said, are you gonna marry me? 0:19:01.960 --> 0:19:05.359 On that she went to her friend Hilda for advice. 0:19:05.920 --> 0:19:09.840 She said, what was a burdenhand is worth two in 0:19:09.920 --> 0:19:15.320 the bush. Three months later, she married my grandfather and 0:19:15.560 --> 0:19:22.800 wanted to change his mind. Wow. The minute I heard that, 0:19:22.880 --> 0:19:24.760 the mother thought it was too soon. That would have 0:19:24.800 --> 0:19:28.639 been the kiss of death for me. She's alright, she 0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:32.120 she went out, held him on the side. She shrewd, 0:19:32.840 --> 0:19:37.400 she knows how to play the angles. She won by default. 0:19:41.600 --> 0:19:44.720 He went out of the running. The other guy his 0:19:44.960 --> 0:19:51.399 napkin went down the toilet. That was the end of 0:19:51.480 --> 0:19:57.680 that match. I can't add anything to that. She was sensible, 0:19:57.880 --> 0:20:00.159 you know. She know a good steady guy of that 0:20:00.320 --> 0:20:03.040 at a drug store and would always make a living. 0:20:03.480 --> 0:20:06.800 My husband was a blind date. Phil was also a 0:20:06.880 --> 0:20:10.159 blind day. A friend of mine worked in an office 0:20:10.280 --> 0:20:14.280 with Phil's sister. Let's tell you he wore an outfit 0:20:14.400 --> 0:20:20.000 that should have worn the he had to the day 0:20:20.080 --> 0:20:22.879 when he died. He had the worst taste and quote. 0:20:26.920 --> 0:20:30.200 Next on the list is part four, to work or 0:20:30.320 --> 0:20:33.040 not to work? And I think Lois had her own 0:20:33.119 --> 0:20:39.320 ideas about this. Did you get this sense, Nana, that 0:20:40.200 --> 0:20:42.760 he would support you as a working woman or did 0:20:42.840 --> 0:20:44.720 he need to be kind of worked on at all? 0:20:44.840 --> 0:20:50.040 I'm the least feminist woman walking on God. I didn't 0:20:50.640 --> 0:20:53.480 want to work at all. The only reason I went 0:20:53.640 --> 0:20:57.040 back was all the other women did, so we couldn't 0:20:57.080 --> 0:21:00.480 just live on one income if everyone was living on too. 0:21:02.040 --> 0:21:04.119 Did you get the sense that he would support you? Know? 0:21:04.280 --> 0:21:08.080 I hope so, I assumed so he did. In my opinion, 0:21:09.040 --> 0:21:11.719 I thought he'd own a chain of drug stores. But oh, 0:21:11.800 --> 0:21:15.600 he didn't live up your expectations on that way. So 0:21:15.800 --> 0:21:18.320 for a woman who didn't want to work, you certainly 0:21:18.440 --> 0:21:21.080 put a lot of energy into preparing yourself for the 0:21:21.160 --> 0:21:26.000 working world. You transferred schools so many times, five times, 0:21:26.760 --> 0:21:29.600 and I decided to go to law school. I was 0:21:29.800 --> 0:21:32.800 very good at it, but I didn't like to do paperwork, 0:21:33.080 --> 0:21:36.760 so I took the master's in education and loved it. 0:21:37.440 --> 0:21:39.400 So but tell us about how you landed your first 0:21:39.440 --> 0:21:41.680 teaching job. Wasn't it that you were on your way 0:21:41.920 --> 0:21:45.399 to interview at an ad agency, but then you got 0:21:45.520 --> 0:21:48.359 sidetracked by the sounds of kids in a schoolyard. I 0:21:48.480 --> 0:21:51.679 went in and said to the principle that I walk around, 0:21:52.320 --> 0:21:55.480 that I had this teaching license, and I told the 0:21:55.600 --> 0:21:59.960 children the story of Katie note pockets without a book. 0:22:00.480 --> 0:22:03.360 And when I came out, she said, someone's going out 0:22:03.440 --> 0:22:07.679 on maternity. Would you like a job here? Oh my gosh, 0:22:07.920 --> 0:22:11.080 That's how I got my first staging job. But just 0:22:11.320 --> 0:22:15.840 as your career was getting underway, I got pregnant and 0:22:16.000 --> 0:22:20.160 the minute I told them, they made me leave that day. 0:22:20.520 --> 0:22:25.399 What they wouldn't let children see that you were pregnant. Wow, 0:22:25.720 --> 0:22:29.400 so we've come a long way, baby. You can't say 0:22:29.520 --> 0:22:32.400 we've come a long way baby if you're not a feminist. 0:22:32.920 --> 0:22:35.760 This must have been a serious financial blow to your family. 0:22:35.840 --> 0:22:38.680 At the time, I didn't think of it that way. 0:22:39.240 --> 0:22:43.160 I just loved what I was doing. I was disappointing, right, 0:22:43.800 --> 0:22:46.200 But you just said a minute ago you never even 0:22:46.280 --> 0:22:48.560 wanted to work in the first place. So if it 0:22:48.680 --> 0:22:51.320 wasn't a financial necessity, why did you care? And I 0:22:51.400 --> 0:22:54.240 have no one to play with, So it was more 0:22:54.600 --> 0:22:57.359 because you would have been bored. I don't know if 0:22:57.359 --> 0:23:00.159 it was like actually out of you needed them. No, 0:23:00.240 --> 0:23:03.200 it was both. It was And that's how I put 0:23:03.240 --> 0:23:06.920 in the swimming pool. I saved my first year's salary 0:23:07.800 --> 0:23:11.000 swimming put in the pool, which we still use today. 0:23:13.760 --> 0:23:17.040 I was a teacher when I got pregnant with my 0:23:17.200 --> 0:23:21.840 first child, and I was allowed to work as long 0:23:21.920 --> 0:23:24.600 as I didn't show, But after that I had to 0:23:24.680 --> 0:23:28.480 stay home. Today, you even had women not doing newscasts 0:23:28.640 --> 0:23:33.520 on the television with pregnant bellies doesn't matter which is Listen. 0:23:33.640 --> 0:23:37.440 It's normal, it's nature, it's life, and there's nothing talk 0:23:37.560 --> 0:23:43.600 to be ashamed of to be pregnant. Absolutely. Okay, Wait, 0:23:43.760 --> 0:23:46.800 it's time to shut our mouths and let somebody else talk. 0:23:46.880 --> 0:23:49.439 It's time for a commercial. Well you need it, Ellen, 0:23:49.480 --> 0:24:00.280 I need a little water to wet my whistle. Go ahead, guys, Okay. 0:24:00.400 --> 0:24:03.520 Next on my list is part five, doing what you 0:24:03.640 --> 0:24:06.840 want with your time as a mother. You really don't 0:24:06.920 --> 0:24:10.600 have your own time. Either I was working or I 0:24:10.840 --> 0:24:14.520 was with my children. Time was something that was very precious. 0:24:15.080 --> 0:24:19.520 Let's see what Lois does with her time. Tell about 0:24:19.560 --> 0:24:22.400 the whole parallel life you lived in the theater while 0:24:22.480 --> 0:24:26.840 raising your kids. I played the old stripper and gypsy 0:24:27.400 --> 0:24:31.920 and the Jewish mother income blow your horn in the 0:24:32.160 --> 0:24:36.879 same month, and I dare Meryl Streep to do that. 0:24:37.560 --> 0:24:39.760 So who was putting my mom and her siblings to bed? 0:24:40.320 --> 0:24:45.000 I think they put themselves to bed? Oh my gosh. 0:24:46.720 --> 0:24:49.240 And you developed a gifted program at the school you 0:24:49.320 --> 0:24:52.440 taught at, which is actually still in place today. Did 0:24:52.520 --> 0:24:55.840 you bring home some of those lessons to your own kids? No, 0:24:56.400 --> 0:24:59.160 I was so tired of the other kids. I didn't 0:24:59.200 --> 0:25:03.359 do that. How I did read them stories or take 0:25:03.440 --> 0:25:06.639 them to theater. Oh and also I put them in 0:25:06.760 --> 0:25:11.000 my plays. David was in Sound of Music. He was 0:25:11.080 --> 0:25:14.040 one of the things, and I was one of the things, 0:25:14.119 --> 0:25:17.240 you mean, one of the kids. And I was a 0:25:17.680 --> 0:25:23.240 frau Schmidt, the housekeeper. I hear other people talk about 0:25:23.600 --> 0:25:27.160 how involved they were with their kids. I was involved 0:25:27.200 --> 0:25:30.840 with me at least. You're honest. A lot of parents 0:25:30.960 --> 0:25:33.439 signed their kids up for like all these different activities, 0:25:33.520 --> 0:25:35.320 and you were kind of just like, do whatever you want, 0:25:35.440 --> 0:25:39.000 go out in the traffic and play. Oh my gosh, 0:25:39.280 --> 0:25:42.360 but look how wonderful they turned out. They did turn out. Well. 0:25:43.119 --> 0:25:46.120 Do our values and ideas about how to live life 0:25:46.200 --> 0:25:50.560 match your own, Well, they're different because we're a different generation. Yeah, 0:25:50.840 --> 0:25:53.639 like you people are all hung up on careers and 0:25:54.080 --> 0:25:57.840 women first and all that. Oh yeah, what a bummer. 0:25:57.960 --> 0:26:02.880 Women first, you're creating a bed to lie in. You're 0:26:02.960 --> 0:26:07.240 making your life hard. Why because you gotta worry about 0:26:07.359 --> 0:26:12.240 careers and having families at the same time, and whether 0:26:12.359 --> 0:26:15.160 to marry or not, and whether the woman can make 0:26:15.320 --> 0:26:18.159 more than the man. You've got a bunch of problems 0:26:18.480 --> 0:26:22.520 for no good reason. My god, everyone thinks i'd be 0:26:22.600 --> 0:26:27.240