Speaker 1: Help I suck at dating and I heart radio podcast.
Speaker 1: What's going on, guys, James Maslow here? I thought i'd
Speaker 1: jump on into the studio and help post the show today.
Speaker 1: Are we all doing doing well? Yeah? So this is
Speaker 1: my friend over here. Also, I think officially my stalker.
Speaker 1: This is like a weird, a weird relationship we have
Speaker 1: because we share a best friend. And I never thought
Speaker 1: my work world would come in contact with James, but
Speaker 1: now I see him at literally every I heeart event
Speaker 1: and it's starting to get like creepy. Yeah, that's that's
Speaker 1: her side of the story. That's adorable. So she's been
Speaker 1: stalking me now for what five or six years? Um, actually,
Speaker 1: somehow now has a job working with me for the
Speaker 1: first time. I'm I'm pretty highly concerned, but I'm gonna
Speaker 1: shove that way down for this here podcast and we'll
Speaker 1: talk about that later. No, it's great. So Christine is
Speaker 1: like my little sister, and I'm so happy that you're
Speaker 1: you're killing it. I'm happy to see you here. I'm
Speaker 1: doing okay, I'm doing all right. We're a pretty fancy studio.
Speaker 1: We're actually talking about the niceties microphones, are you know?
Speaker 1: It's a nice studio in a successful world and podcast
Speaker 1: when the microphones are what gold plated, bronze plated, or
Speaker 1: in an actual studio, not in somebody's kitchen, which is
Speaker 1: still step up from somebody's basements. I don't know why
Speaker 1: I made that creepy, but I just imagined a much,
Speaker 1: much worse scenario exactly. All right, So this is fun.
Speaker 1: You know, of all the things I've spoken about, I've
Speaker 1: never really gotten into my dating life, but of all
Speaker 1: the times in my world, this is a really good
Speaker 1: time to talk about it. Because I went from thinking
Speaker 1: I would be perpetually single in this crazy town of
Speaker 1: Los Angeles, and I was single for better part of
Speaker 1: four years. Yeah, and not just single, I mean like
Speaker 1: aggressively single, like super single, and those are core years,
Speaker 1: your years to be single. I think that everybody at
Speaker 1: all sincerity like your twenties are your time to be selfish.
Speaker 1: And I mean in the best of ways, because when
Speaker 1: you get older, you only inevitably have more responsibility and
Speaker 1: less opportunity to be selfish. And what I don't want
Speaker 1: to be is that old dude in a relationship, serious
Speaker 1: relationship that decides then, oh now is my time to
Speaker 1: be selfish? No, I'd rather get it out of my system.
Speaker 1: And boy, I got a lot out of my system.
Speaker 1: And recently I met uh, I met my girlfriend. Also,
Speaker 1: let's not use that term too much. It is a
Speaker 1: fair term, but it's new to me kind of scary. Um.
Speaker 1: But her name is Gabby and she's great and let's
Speaker 1: move on. Who woa whoa wa wa wa move on.
Speaker 1: How have you used the word girlfriend with her? Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna just drop it here. First, listen to
Speaker 1: the show gabs it. Yeah, it was. We hadn't used it.
Speaker 1: We started dating like maybe two months. I really didn't
Speaker 1: know where it's going, but I kind of fell into
Speaker 1: dating right before it did Celebrity Big Brother. And then
Speaker 1: after like six weeks two months of kind of dating,
Speaker 1: just disappeared for a month, which she reminds me of
Speaker 1: pretty much every day. And that was actually a great
Speaker 1: litmus test because both of us thought about each other
Speaker 1: every day and when we came out, were like, sorry,
Speaker 1: we didn't have this conversation before, but I really want
Speaker 1: to date you. Let's make this official. And it was
Speaker 1: super sweet and it's going well. And how did you
Speaker 1: meet her in the first place? Through my friend Francesca.
Speaker 1: Props to Franny, thanks for that one. Oh a big time.
Speaker 1: I had a music video release party. Actually it was
Speaker 1: for my song who Knows, and I just on a
Speaker 1: really cool music video and so why not, you know,
Speaker 1: excuse throw a little party and went out to I
Speaker 1: think Delilah for drinks afterwards. Like the most l A story,
Speaker 1: It's actually not the most l A story, so I'm
Speaker 1: not talking about being like on dating app. We actually
Speaker 1: met in person friends, so we did go to the
Speaker 1: most l A spot in the world. Though after I look,
Speaker 1: I'm a musician, I'm allowed have a music video. It's
Speaker 1: like I live in l A too, so stop it,
Speaker 1: stop it, stalker. And uh, anyways, frances just randomly hit
Speaker 1: me up. I invited her out to come join and
Speaker 1: she brought Gabby and the rest is history. And uh,
Speaker 1: what was your first date? My first date? Uh after
Speaker 1: that was actually going and meeting her for tea. Oh
Speaker 1: tea is a nice first. It was early evening. It
Speaker 1: was super early evening. Yeah, it was early evening tea.
Speaker 1: I think I had an early morning and also just
Speaker 1: wasn't sure that I wanted to commit to like a
Speaker 1: full fledged dinner as I think that's smart. A lot
Speaker 1: of people say that you gotta coffee, drinks, tea something,
Speaker 1: so there's an exit plan if necessary. Yeah, and also
Speaker 1: to make sure that you can, you know, have a
Speaker 1: great conversation, you know, because we met over a few drinks,
Speaker 1: and funny enough, we met kind of talking about how
Speaker 1: sloppy another person in our group was, and it was
Speaker 1: just funny thing we're kind of talking, didn't know each other,
Speaker 1: and it was after maybe five or tenminous conversation we
Speaker 1: kind of look at each other like, you're really attractive.
Speaker 1: Started enjoying this conversation with this friend of a friend,
Speaker 1: think it would be super casual, and then eventually was
Speaker 1: like I enjoy lots of things about this and kept going.
Speaker 1: So I think the next the coffee tea was like
Speaker 1: to make sure that that was real, and turns out
Speaker 1: it was. And did the tea day extend from there?
Speaker 1: Did you go get food? Did? Or did you exuly?
Speaker 1: Just to keep it cool? Chapter cool? It went on
Speaker 1: for longer than expect did? We hung out for maybe
Speaker 1: a couple of hours when like a cute little walk
Speaker 1: and I dropped her off and I thought, you know what,
Speaker 1: I don't want to ruin a good thing. Let's see
Speaker 1: if this is good yet another time and space it out.
Speaker 1: So took it far more slow than I have anything
Speaker 1: in a long time, and I think it's part of
Speaker 1: the reason that it's it's working. Have you met her parents?
Speaker 1: Have not yet? Have not, so that'll be uh, that'll
Speaker 1: be a good steps still coming, but that's good. We're
Speaker 1: glad you're happy. It's not rush, but that's kind of
Speaker 1: marked things. So, yeah, we're planning a future with kids.
Speaker 1: No off my list. Then what kind of relationship advice
Speaker 1: do you adhere to have you been given in your
Speaker 1: life that you've really found connected and that you used
Speaker 1: to this day. Yes, it depends on what type of
Speaker 1: relationship you're looking for, because a lot of my buddies
Speaker 1: have asked me a lot of dating questions, but it's
Speaker 1: more about like, hey, how do we just met a
Speaker 1: girl at a bar? And I think it depends on
Speaker 1: what you're looking for. If you if you want to
Speaker 1: just go and meet somebody and have fun, to have drinks, like, okay,
Speaker 1: there's a way to do it without being a douche. Honestly,
Speaker 1: there's a way to talk to somebody by just talking
Speaker 1: to him. Don't start with a pickup line, just say hi,
Speaker 1: like if you if anything, like hey, if they're out drinking,
Speaker 1: can offer to be played by somebody a drink. But
Speaker 1: when it comes actually dating someone, which once again is
Speaker 1: a little bit not that I haven't ever dated somebody's
Speaker 1: just been a while, I think it really is back
Speaker 1: to communication. And so from the very get go, we
Speaker 1: couldn't have been more blunt and honest about our previous relationships,
Speaker 1: why it didn't work, what we would expect moving forward,
Speaker 1: and we just kept aligning with with our thoughts and
Speaker 1: our morals and how we wanted things to work out.
Speaker 1: So it almost started as like a joke because we
Speaker 1: were so honest. But now we have this open line
Speaker 1: of communication which is really awesome. So I know it's
Speaker 1: it's a bit cliche, but you really have to tell
Speaker 1: people how you feel when you feel it, and not
Speaker 1: just let things pent up and become a fight, because
Speaker 1: if you're fighting, I don't care how long the relationship
Speaker 1: has been, like, there's just no reason for it. There's
Speaker 1: no excuse. So I think it's just a slippery slope,
Speaker 1: you know, I mean, because you fight once and it's
Speaker 1: just the first time, and then your second is on
Speaker 1: your second time, and eventually you're like that a couple
Speaker 1: that fights. I never want to do that. So honestly,
Speaker 1: it's openness. It's um talking about your exit. That's an
Speaker 1: interesting thing because some people would say to stay away
Speaker 1: from that, I think, but it's part of your past,
Speaker 1: it's part of who you are. I mean, maybe don't
Speaker 1: go in depth about it every time you go to dinner. Sure,
Speaker 1: I could get awkward, but I think if you don't
Speaker 1: ever cross those off the list of things that you
Speaker 1: know about the person, then inevitably you're gonna be out
Speaker 1: with their friends and they're gonna reference something, right, They're
Speaker 1: gonna reference their friends passed, which is just relationship, and
Speaker 1: all of a sudden you're the only person in the
Speaker 1: dark and you're the one dating that person. Yeah. That's uncomfortable. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I think better to just know. So I think
Speaker 1: you kind of just have to have those conversations and
Speaker 1: you can call it a day after that. But if
Speaker 1: you never do, then it's gonna come up in a way.
Speaker 1: I think that's gonna build up anxiety at the very least. Sure,
Speaker 1: you mentioned going up and meeting people, approaching people, you're
Speaker 1: interested in. And we've had a lot of talk about
Speaker 1: this lately, Tanya, especially if you know Tanya rad she
Speaker 1: knows you. I don't know. She introduced it that I heard.
Speaker 1: She lives large on all these podcasts where she she's
Speaker 1: in the room or not. She tried something recently. She
Speaker 1: approached to got a grocery store and asked him what
Speaker 1: his cologne was because she wanted something for her brother
Speaker 1: to get a dialogue and actually wanted for her brother. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was just to get a dialogue going, so she lied.
Speaker 1: She lied didn't work anyway because she just he just
Speaker 1: told her and moved on. He didn't continue the conversation.
Speaker 1: She had another one she wants to try. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: her friend Becca and if anyone listens to scrubbing in
Speaker 1: with Becca Tilly, you know this story. Becca was talking
Speaker 1: to a hockey player on a dating app. The conversation
Speaker 1: seemed a little shady, like maybe it sounds about right
Speaker 1: really the hockey player, so she finds the hockey players
Speaker 1: Instagram and DM Someone says, am I talking to you
Speaker 1: on this dating app? Or am I being catfished right now?
Speaker 1: And the hockey player said, you're being catfished? I'm not
Speaker 1: on that app, but now they're talking, So Tanya wants
Speaker 1: to approach you. Guys, just make that and say, hey,
Speaker 1: am I talking to you? Or am I being catfish?
Speaker 1: Just to get I can't wait till that doesn't work
Speaker 1: either in the responses like I don't know we're talking,
Speaker 1: like he really is on the app and he's just
Speaker 1: a creeper. Sorry, I'm not projecting to Sania how it
Speaker 1: works out for you. But so so, if a woman
Speaker 1: wanted to approach you, obviously, now you're in a relationship
Speaker 1: that's off lim with but six months ago, what is
Speaker 1: the best way for a woman to approach a guy
Speaker 1: that she's interested in? I think human being there's no
Speaker 1: secret to it, guys, there's no like, hey say this line,
Speaker 1: or hey, like, well maybe first of all, don't start
Speaker 1: by lying TONI um just say hi. You know what
Speaker 1: I mean? It can be It can be very attractive
Speaker 1: when the same thing I was saying earlier, like, hey,
Speaker 1: if you're out at a bar and you meet somebody,
Speaker 1: often then buy them a drink. Women can do the
Speaker 1: same thing, especially in today's day and age, and I
Speaker 1: think it can be attractive when you do it in
Speaker 1: a confident, cool way. I mean, part of it is
Speaker 1: not attracted to Gabby is because she has her own
Speaker 1: world going on, her own career, you know, I mean
Speaker 1: she makes her own money. Now, I sot offer to
Speaker 1: pay for everything, but then sometimes she just jump in
Speaker 1: and grab coffees, grab drinks, which is awesome, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. And I don't think you should ever
Speaker 1: be to one sided. I still I'm a gentleman, will
Speaker 1: always offer to pay and never have a problem with it.
Speaker 1: But it's attractive when you have that confidence. Was a
Speaker 1: woman is the same thing. Just go up, say hi,
Speaker 1: introduce yourself. Smile. I'm attracted to a smile first and foremost.
Speaker 1: I know it sounds scary, but it's scary for us
Speaker 1: two girls, it really is. But like what, Hi, I America,
Speaker 1: and then what they're like cool by then that's your
Speaker 1: answer the dude and fantastic you've moved on. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: Hi America. You'd say Hi, I'm James, and then you
Speaker 1: say oh, and then you talk, You talk like normal
Speaker 1: normal people. Yeah, Hey, I'm here with my friends. You
Speaker 1: guys want to come join us? Or hey, can we
Speaker 1: get you around a drink? So whatever it is, I mean, look,
Speaker 1: group setting are always easiest. It's definitely better than like
Speaker 1: being solo. I guess which because that's a social setting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a's a personal problem. I think we get a
Speaker 1: lot of emails from people think, can I should I
Speaker 1: ask this guy out? Should I approach him? Should I
Speaker 1: call him? Should I text him? And we always say yes,
Speaker 1: you have nothing to lose because you need to find
Speaker 1: out what's going on, if there's anything there and if
Speaker 1: there's not. Now, you know, I just don't see the
Speaker 1: downside to it. I know it's nerve racking, but guys
Speaker 1: these days are not being as aggressive as they used
Speaker 1: to be. They're not asking as much as they used to,
Speaker 1: so somebody has to well, of course, and I think
Speaker 1: more than ever, you know what I mean, people are
Speaker 1: unclear where the lines are and should be, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. And I think it's fair people afraid
Speaker 1: to go up and say hi sometimes, especially as a
Speaker 1: guy these days. So as a girl there's all that
Speaker 1: more opportunity, you know, and the end of the day
Speaker 1: kind of addressing that, it's like silly you can you
Speaker 1: can flirt with anybody one time and if they reciprocate
Speaker 1: it that's flirting. If they don't stop, it's pretty much
Speaker 1: as simple as that. But you can complient somebody, Hey,
Speaker 1: I think you're beautiful, gonna do this, and if they
Speaker 1: don't reciprocate it, maybe don't keep complimenting. I think you're
Speaker 1: kind of done, but you just try it. And I
Speaker 1: think that's less scary doing it in person and knowing
Speaker 1: one way or the other this is I gonna move
Speaker 1: forward or be done within five seconds. Then the idea
Speaker 1: of being on an app and like essentially blind dating
Speaker 1: somebody every time you meet up to me, that would
Speaker 1: inspire far more trepidation than just meeting somebody in person
Speaker 1: and going hey and sing if there's any chemistry at all,
Speaker 1: it's quicker, it's more efficient. Give it a try, real
Speaker 1: life guys, Try it out spoken by someone, right. I
Speaker 1: think I have a little bit more credibility to this now.
Speaker 1: I love it. Can we talk about celebrity Big Brother
Speaker 1: for a minute? Oh? We sure can. I've heard of
Speaker 1: that show. You were on there and you actually give
Speaker 1: it a run left episode? Yeah, I made it pretty
Speaker 1: much all the way to the end. And you know, look,
Speaker 1: I think had I changed my tactics and started making
Speaker 1: alliances like with Omarosa for example, I could have stayed
Speaker 1: in and maybe one, but to me, I had such
Speaker 1: a good run. It was very important to me to
Speaker 1: come out in an interesting environment, one that is incredibly
Speaker 1: for to me, a reality TV show that at that,
Speaker 1: and remain um, a class act as best as I
Speaker 1: can come out being a gentleman, which to me is
Speaker 1: kind of my version of being unscathed in what could be,
Speaker 1: you know, a really catty situation. So I think of
Speaker 1: getting out when I did was actually a pretty big
Speaker 1: win for me. Like I said, winning it could have
Speaker 1: been fun, but hey, I was the biggest target in
Speaker 1: the house from day one, almost an even the show
Speaker 1: will admit it, and that basically inspired the idea like, well,
Speaker 1: if I can turn this, if I cannot be out first,
Speaker 1: I can probably stay a long time. That was basically
Speaker 1: my tactic throughout it. And it worked and it was
Speaker 1: fun and I'm glad to be home. Would you do
Speaker 1: it again? Like it was with that kind of a
Speaker 1: one time experience? Most likely a one time experience, um,
Speaker 1: but I'm always open minded, you know, if they came
Speaker 1: back and it was a different situation or an all
Speaker 1: star cast, and I had the time. You just never know,
Speaker 1: but most likely that was what it was. And uh,
Speaker 1: we'll leave it at that. What was the worst part
Speaker 1: of it? I feel like there's to me that would
Speaker 1: be a long lift. If the camera seven, there's certain
Speaker 1: people who don't get along with, but you're with constantly,
Speaker 1: you're having no son. As strange as that may sun
Speaker 1: the regular Big Brother cast, Yes, it's three times as long,
Speaker 1: but they have a huge backyard and they have the sun.
Speaker 1: And I'm I'm an outdoor dog. I'm a beach boy.
Speaker 1: I live in the beach. I grew up in San Diego,
Speaker 1: and so I didn't really realize how important just being
Speaker 1: outside was to me. So I spent a month on
Speaker 1: the sound stage where we had a tiny little backyard.
Speaker 1: We don't get it at nights, and it was covered.
Speaker 1: We'd never see the sun. That might have been the
Speaker 1: hardest part. Wow, that's interesting. Who did you get close
Speaker 1: the cat? I mean, look, especially at the beginning, it
Speaker 1: was kind of the boys hanging with the boys, and
Speaker 1: so hanging out with Mark McGrath, who had you know,
Speaker 1: race cars with before, actually came much closer. He's such
Speaker 1: a good guy. Meta world piece is Buddy to this day.
Speaker 1: He's the nicest, biggest teddy bear in the world, has
Speaker 1: the craziest stories. You know, from being one of the
Speaker 1: NBA's gnarliest defenders ever so then changing his name to
Speaker 1: Meta world Peace and being like this big sweetheart than
Speaker 1: like you know sometimes. I mean, look, it's the funniest situation.
Speaker 1: He's great. Um Chocolate was my boy before, but then
Speaker 1: became close with Channon. She's awesome, incredibly intelligent. Omar Rossa
Speaker 1: is one of the most interesting people I've ever met.
Speaker 1: I mean, Marissa was just texting me actually funny. Have
Speaker 1: clips of celebrity Big Broad yesterday. Just spend a lot
Speaker 1: of time with these people. So I became close with
Speaker 1: most of the cast. Frankly, man of you kept in
Speaker 1: touch with you said meadow world Pace. You're still in
Speaker 1: touch with him. Yeah. We're supposed to go to a
Speaker 1: Lakers game next week, which I'm pretty excited. Guys. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna lie. I can't one of the best players
Speaker 1: in the game at that, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: So that'll be a lot of fun. Met if you're listening,
Speaker 1: don't forget our plans to go to that Laker game.
Speaker 1: Offer and you get used to the cameras after a
Speaker 1: while because they can't imagine that cameras they aren't bad, right,
Speaker 1: even when you're asleep, there's a camera here, we look
Speaker 1: they're they're basically two way mirrors. So you don't see
Speaker 1: the cameras. You see some of them in the hallways,
Speaker 1: but you don't see the majority of them. And said
Speaker 1: you see reflection of yourself, So you become really vain
Speaker 1: until you remember, like as you're picking that they get
Speaker 1: your teeth. You gotta dude on your de side, most
Speaker 1: likely just staring you down. So no, I always pretty
Speaker 1: keenly aware that they were there at all times, because
Speaker 1: you know, as much as I was myself and dropped
Speaker 1: my guard to a point, there's always going to be
Speaker 1: a bit me that's reserved when I'm on camera, even
Speaker 1: in a situation like that, because you want to keep
Speaker 1: a little bit of yourself to yourself. That makes sense.
Speaker 1: And you and Brandy butted heads. But would you say
Speaker 1: you didn't get as close with her or that was
Speaker 1: at all water under the bridge. No, I think it's
Speaker 1: fair insane didn't get as close with Brandy. Speaking about
Speaker 1: being reserved, um, that was one of the biggest reasons
Speaker 1: that I had to play docile if you will, because
Speaker 1: I did had I had no intention of engaging with
Speaker 1: a reality star like that. She was really the only one.
Speaker 1: I guess Omarosa in a different way, the only that
Speaker 1: came from a reality platform, which I've never understood. I've
Speaker 1: never really watched, and I have no intention of being
Speaker 1: and I'm my My career is just different. I grew
Speaker 1: up training to be an actor. Still, that's what I
Speaker 1: do to sing, That's what I do. Those are my
Speaker 1: careers already do enough. Don't need to add being catty
Speaker 1: on reality television over stupid things to that list, quite frankly.
Speaker 1: So I'm happy for her that she's created a career
Speaker 1: out of that, because that's such a unique thing to
Speaker 1: be able to do. It's just not my cup of tea.
Speaker 1: When you're a real house if your skill is to
Speaker 1: create drama and create interesting television, and you could easily
Speaker 1: get sucked into that. Yeah, I think interesting television might
Speaker 1: be where we differ an opinion, but yet to create
Speaker 1: something to just create a big old mess at an
Speaker 1: absolutely nothing for no reason. Um, that's what they don't know,
Speaker 1: if I can say they that's what she does, and
Speaker 1: she's good at that. I never want to be good
Speaker 1: at that. And that's the nicest way I can put it,
Speaker 1: because it was pretty annoying. I mean, she was just
Speaker 1: poke and poke and poke and prime prian prior and
Speaker 1: she's a freaking adult and I had to be the
Speaker 1: adult in the situation every single time, which is fine.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty seven years old. I don't want to be
Speaker 1: the adult in every situation, but in that case, no problem.
Speaker 1: The example I want to set to my fans and
Speaker 1: people who look up to me is that that's not
Speaker 1: what you do. If you have a problem, talk about
Speaker 1: it and don't instigate things for the sake of doing it.
Speaker 1: I really I was bullied as a kid. I will
Speaker 1: always stand up to bullies. And the best way to
Speaker 1: stand up to a bully like that is, you know,
Speaker 1: just to not engage. We'll cool, cool, I guess it's.
Speaker 1: Having said all that, if I saw Brandy, I'd give
Speaker 1: her a hug. And you know, we've been out with
Speaker 1: some of the casts and had some drinks, and she's
Speaker 1: she is who she is through and through, and that's
Speaker 1: where like that, That's who she is, and I'm accepting it.
Speaker 1: To a point, you know what I mean. So that's
Speaker 1: that's that. There we go. Yeah, that's the Brandy chet
Speaker 1: Erica here has a date tonight. Yeah. I was like,
Speaker 1: where are we going with this? So this is any
Speaker 1: harmony days? Yes, And that's totally. I mean I just
Speaker 1: hate the you were like the blind dating every time
Speaker 1: you go out thing like that's where I have like
Speaker 1: my reservations on going. But I mean I think it'll
Speaker 1: be good. How long have you guys been talking texting
Speaker 1: the harmony about a week or so? Um? What drew
Speaker 1: you to him in the first Fine, I'm not even sure.
Speaker 1: Well we were like matched, and so why did you
Speaker 1: choose him? I think I just was like, sure, he
Speaker 1: looks nice, right you look at your first and he's
Speaker 1: like he's handsome. Yeah, he went to a college that
Speaker 1: I almost went to l AMU, Like I think he Okay,
Speaker 1: he is educated. The education thing is a thing like college. No,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know. So she thinks she's she
Speaker 1: thinks she don't know what he studied. Of all the
Speaker 1: things to look into. I feel like if that's something
Speaker 1: that's a criteria priority for you, right, that he's educated,
Speaker 1: you want to know and what that's a good conversation
Speaker 1: for tonight. I think, yeah. But my problem is he
Speaker 1: said yes or a couple of days ago, like do
Speaker 1: you want to get dinner slash drinks on Wednesday? And
Speaker 1: I'm I am a strict no dinner first date situation.
Speaker 1: That could be ours um that you're already going in
Speaker 1: with a negative frame of mind. No, no no, no, but
Speaker 1: I just all, I just want to do drinks and
Speaker 1: then like like, if it's a great day, we'll go
Speaker 1: out again next week. And that's fair, that's fair, right.
Speaker 1: I also work very early in the mornings and go
Speaker 1: to bed, like I don't want to she'd rather just
Speaker 1: drink alcohol on a Wednesday. And oh, I'm just trying
Speaker 1: to frame this in what what I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: figure out what you So, Okay, here's what here's the
Speaker 1: way you've looked at this. Yes, you've you've basically ruled
Speaker 1: out most likely that he's a serial murderer. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: that's enough for you to go, Hey, we're gonna go
Speaker 1: to not dinner but drinks. Take a few back and
Speaker 1: if conversation isn't just riveting at that point, then there's
Speaker 1: no chances it's going to work. And you've eliminated all together.
Speaker 1: That's fair, especially like loose them up with a drink
Speaker 1: on a first date. Yeah yeah, like a little bit
Speaker 1: liquid courage. Never heard like to drink Max. That's smart.
Speaker 1: I think that's actually very classically. I do not want
Speaker 1: to end up being like, you know, poppy or anything.
Speaker 1: And come on, that doesn't stop me. I'm only twenty four,
Speaker 1: but no, I'm kidding. I usually keep it really tame
Speaker 1: on the weekdays. So what do you like about him?
Speaker 1: And are there any red flags? Um, he's cute, he's yeah,
Speaker 1: he's like a good looking Okay, yeah, he's got some
Speaker 1: like scruff, which I'm into. He's like really tan and
Speaker 1: full beard, but no full beard. I'm not really into
Speaker 1: full beards. Um, he's good looking. He seems like smart,
Speaker 1: and like he has hobbies, which is a really weird
Speaker 1: things a person like he plays soccer. He told me
Speaker 1: last night he won his soccer championship yesterday. How do
Speaker 1: you researched that? Because you could be lying? But I
Speaker 1: have not researched that. But I did find him on Facebook.
Speaker 1: I found his ex girlfriend. Like, these are not things.
Speaker 1: A second, this dude you've not even met yet. I
Speaker 1: stalked him back to our first conversation to the point
Speaker 1: of knowing who his ex girlfriend is. What's wrong? I
Speaker 1: don't know who she is. I just saw photos. Because
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to do and Mark knows I have
Speaker 1: a problem with this is I'm trying to figure out
Speaker 1: how tall he is. Oh my god, I have this
Speaker 1: this just like concern of like showing up to a
Speaker 1: date and being like a five seven girl. What if
Speaker 1: I were booties then we're up to like five ten maybe,
Speaker 1: And what if he's like so much shorter than me?
Speaker 1: What's wrong with I'm a tall guy, but I I'm
Speaker 1: six two, But I can never I just feel bad
Speaker 1: for anybody who's shorter because you can't control that, right
Speaker 1: if you're out of shape, that could be on you,
Speaker 1: go to the gym, eat healthier, whatever it is, but
Speaker 1: you can't control your height. So I'm standing up for
Speaker 1: short dude right now? What is wrong with short? What
Speaker 1: is what if he is the most charismatic, kind, educated,
Speaker 1: soccer championship winning son of a gun, but he's five
Speaker 1: six Huh, what's wrong with that? I just feel like, Wow, Judge, yeah, totally,
Speaker 1: but you're five sets. Like if you were six ft tall,
Speaker 1: I could understand it being a concern because you're gonna
Speaker 1: run into that problem all the time. But five seven
Speaker 1: if you run into that a lot, that a lot
Speaker 1: of guys aren't tall enough for you. But she's so
Speaker 1: she deserves above average guys. Okay, I do have I'm
Speaker 1: above average because like, I just believe all women should
Speaker 1: think that about themselves. But no, I think it's don't
Speaker 1: don't you think that there's a thing like if a
Speaker 1: guy is like shorter and he walks in a date
Speaker 1: and he realized it's like his date is really tall,
Speaker 1: I almost feel like then they get weird, and then
Speaker 1: I get weird. What you should just like line up
Speaker 1: at the door. He's gonna look up and you go, yeah,
Speaker 1: we tried nice to meet you. Why did you every
Speaker 1: day tonight at eleven? That way, when he walks in,
Speaker 1: you can see on the side of the door how
Speaker 1: tall he is, and you can just end it right
Speaker 1: there before you have it's a hide. Okay, I take
Speaker 1: it all back. I'm going on the date. Yes, I
Speaker 1: found him on face but the good news is we
Speaker 1: did have a mutual friend. Okay, um who has weirdly
Speaker 1: sense deleted her Facebook, so I went back to double check,
Speaker 1: and then this is up. Can you take a chaperone
Speaker 1: on this? Seriously? Text her friend like meet at the
Speaker 1: same bar, low key, Like I'm actually concerned. I mean,
Speaker 1: I hope it goes well, but I'm a little concerned.
Speaker 1: You had a friend that's no longer even a friend.
Speaker 1: Don't remember who the friend it was. I know, I
Speaker 1: know exactly what it was, but I was just trying
Speaker 1: to make you're like you still have a Facebook like
Speaker 1: anybody in the world, or what happened. I mean, I
Speaker 1: could text this person and be like, hey, do you
Speaker 1: know this guy? But that's why I don't know that
Speaker 1: you still not like each other. Guys, this is pain.
Speaker 1: You know what really negative that's got to come go
Speaker 1: behind you. You know, here's a good part. It's either
Speaker 1: gonna work, it's not gonna work. You can move on
Speaker 1: to the next harmony match. Yes. And the great thing
Speaker 1: was I didn't want to go on this date, and
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, it's either gonna be a really
Speaker 1: great date or it's gonna be a bad date. And
Speaker 1: then you move on. Yeah, then it's over quickly. Then
Speaker 1: you meet that girlfriend you have at the bar for
Speaker 1: your own safety once again, which I'm encouraging for a
Speaker 1: drink with her. You know what I mean. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to be unsafe. Every bad date is a stepping
Speaker 1: stone towards the one. It's a learning experience more what's
Speaker 1: important to you and what you want in a life partner,
Speaker 1: don't you think? I think so. And if every single
Speaker 1: date it's a bad date, then perhaps that's a time
Speaker 1: for self reflection. Well I don't on many dates lately.
Speaker 1: So this is because you blew a guy off recently,
Speaker 1: that's why. But tonight you're going, Yes, I am, I'm
Speaker 1: not what time? I don't know? All right, guys, can
Speaker 1: we just solidify these plans. It's a day of I
Speaker 1: know we're millennials and just got texts an hour before
Speaker 1: going to tell you, and he's off work. He thinks
Speaker 1: around seven thirty will be when he will. Actually don't
Speaker 1: like that. I don't like a vague. If he's going
Speaker 1: to be safe, make it. I believe me. He's not
Speaker 1: flaking on this day. I know that the only flake
Speaker 1: is coming for me. So he seems pretty excited about this.
Speaker 1: They're smiley faces involved. Oh my goodness. When the emojis.
Speaker 1: I guess I'm let that one passed, right? Are we
Speaker 1: cool but emojis? And are you not an emoji guy? James,
Speaker 1: I'm not a big emoji guy. Gotta be honest. I
Speaker 1: feel like it's become acceptable for guys to use emojis.
Speaker 1: I think at first it was, and I think it's
Speaker 1: okay now who said that? Fine? If you start getting
Speaker 1: like the emoji thing, then I'm dropping blind alright, face fine,
Speaker 1: But if you're just dudes, you have a little have
Speaker 1: a little self respect, like, don't be bit emoji in it.
Speaker 1: And I know that because my assistant has it and
Speaker 1: uses it and downloaded it. But then I don't know
Speaker 1: how to read download it. And I'm proud of that. Okay,
Speaker 1: kind a new phone. Don't know how to read download
Speaker 1: it anyways, what you say, everyone seems to think they
Speaker 1: look like they're bitmoji, And there's never any human who
Speaker 1: looks like they're bitmoji. No one does. I look so
Speaker 1: much like maybe nothing like your bit emoji. Nobody does.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, no, thank god, that would be a weird thing. Also,
Speaker 1: what emojis are okay for a guy to use? Because
Speaker 1: I don't think it's all of them. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's a full with it's like the normal like smiley
Speaker 1: smiley maybe, the crying laughing maybe. And that's funny because
Speaker 1: you can do thing it automatically translates sometimes, and I'll
Speaker 1: give that one a break, which doesn't automatically translate it does?
Speaker 1: What kind of are you a special one? What about
Speaker 1: a heart not acceptable for a guy who it's with? Okay? Yeah,
Speaker 1: also like that would be a red flag where it
Speaker 1: with somebody he's never met. Okay, sure, I think there's
Speaker 1: a time and place when the heart can fall into
Speaker 1: your emotive. Do you use heart emojis? Really? But I
Speaker 1: don't use that many heart emojis about winky face? M hmm,
Speaker 1: all right, okay, here's the question for you. On that note.
Speaker 1: There's the winky face and there's like the weird like
Speaker 1: smirky emoji, which I'm pretty sure is slightly more sexual
Speaker 1: than the winky face. But I use them interchangeably, and
Speaker 1: I even use them and like, oh, I use them
Speaker 1: at any time, at any moment purposely because I don't
Speaker 1: really know what they're supposed to mean, and it just
Speaker 1: brings me joy to think what the other people are
Speaker 1: interpreting those as so ladies, I use them all the time.
Speaker 1: I will say those two of my favorite but it
Speaker 1: doesn't really mean anything. And I use it because girls
Speaker 1: read way too much into these things. Again just brings
Speaker 1: me joy, breaks me joy. Call me if you actually
Speaker 1: have a question for me, Stop it, you silly little girls.
Speaker 1: You're you're you're you're like you're a millennial, but you
Speaker 1: act like a gen exer to me. I completely don't
Speaker 1: fit into my generation in some ways us you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. I am old fashioned in some call
Speaker 1: me like who wants a phone call? I do because
Speaker 1: I never have a phone call. That's over, you know,
Speaker 1: succinct in thirty seconds. We got we need to talk
Speaker 1: about when needs were done? Boom plans moving on. Then
Speaker 1: eighty five text messages. Besides, it's also a location thing,
Speaker 1: at geographic thing. I live in l A, which means
Speaker 1: I'm driving all the time. It's safer, hush, it's just
Speaker 1: not switch that on my side. It's safer to just
Speaker 1: call me. Stop texting me. And if you got to
Speaker 1: text me one text message, not eighteen in a row?
Speaker 1: Do you know who you are? Do you know who
Speaker 1: you are? I'm like all of those things. I prefer
Speaker 1: phone calls, but I will text eighteen times in a row.
Speaker 1: How do you feel about FaceTime, James? A lot of
Speaker 1: my friends love FaceTime, they really do. I still kind
Speaker 1: of prefer a call because I'd rather have actual FaceTime
Speaker 1: in real life, with your real face. An ambush FaceTime
Speaker 1: up in advance is not a good thing in my opinion.
Speaker 1: I agree. And you know, sometimes I'm in my office
Speaker 1: and that's with quach quote and I very much mean
Speaker 1: my bathroom. And I get a lot of work done
Speaker 1: from my office, okay, and I want to take a call.
Speaker 1: It's my own business, mom progative. You don't need to know, Okay,
Speaker 1: how long I'm in there, what I'm doing in there.
Speaker 1: Maybe I've got one those old fashioned hotel phones on
Speaker 1: my wall. Our parents been doing this for years. And
Speaker 1: if you you surprise ambush FaceTime me, that's gonna be
Speaker 1: awkward for you. It's not gonna be that awkward for
Speaker 1: me because I'm gonna pick up all right, So that's
Speaker 1: on you. Now you know what's up, You know what
Speaker 1: might happen. I think before you FaceTime. Just think before
Speaker 1: you FaceTime, guys. The echo of a bathroom, like, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of issues here. Erica was talking to a
Speaker 1: guy that she usually want to date with and he
Speaker 1: ambushed FaceTime. During the middle of the conversation, she said, oh,
Speaker 1: my room is a messy goes let me see. All
Speaker 1: of a sudden, we're on the phone, which you already
Speaker 1: have no excuse not to pick up because you're already
Speaker 1: talking to it. And I'm that's rude. What's no makeup?
Speaker 1: Ponytail hungover? I mean, I think that's cute when you're
Speaker 1: dating somebody. That's aggressive, suggressive move. But here's the this
Speaker 1: question for you. Did you pick up yes? Odd, I
Speaker 1: couldn't just be like, okay, I don't know, I died something.
Speaker 1: We still liked you afterwards, Well we never went on
Speaker 1: that date, so maybe shouldn't pick that one up. But
Speaker 1: also bra a little aggressive, little even little rude. But
Speaker 1: at the same time, she figured that one out quickly,
Speaker 1: so I guess that worked for him. I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: while we're on the subject to the harmony, Yes, we
Speaker 1: need to talk a little bit about how people need
Speaker 1: to get on this because if you're looking for a
Speaker 1: relationship and not just a hook up, because a lot
Speaker 1: of these dating apps, a hook up sites, and you
Speaker 1: don't really know the motivation of the the other people
Speaker 1: on those apps. But with the harmony, you do. The
Speaker 1: harmony is the place to go if you're looking for
Speaker 1: a relationship. You're not going to get all the other apps,
Speaker 1: lazy text messages, dead end conversations, random matches that don't
Speaker 1: turn into anything random, Hey, sub how are you good?
Speaker 1: And then it just kind of dwindles and nothing else happens.
Speaker 1: But real people are finding real matches on the harmony.
Speaker 1: In fact, I have some example here, Lisa and Mark. Lisa,
Speaker 1: Mark and Mark. They said, we never thought we'd meet
Speaker 1: somebody online that was so compatible, and we're so grateful
Speaker 1: that we were able to find each other. Look at that,
Speaker 1: Lisa and Mark. How about Bruce and Laurie? They said,
Speaker 1: don't settle for anything less, you too, will meet the
Speaker 1: one that will complete your life. I even have pictures
Speaker 1: of these people if you guys are interested about, I mean,
Speaker 1: very interesting. They're gazing into each other's eyes. These people
Speaker 1: are legit happy relationships, because that's what the harmony does.
Speaker 1: They help you find lasting, meaningful relationships. I just realized
Speaker 1: I don't know why, like even in my time signing
Speaker 1: up for it. I just as my mom met my
Speaker 1: stepdad on the Harmony. Another success, and like totally they've
Speaker 1: been married for shoot three years. I don't know how long, sorry, mom,
Speaker 1: but they've been married a long time and they're happy,
Speaker 1: and they're so happy. And yeah because of the Harmony. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they weren't on these apps and swiping and hooking up
Speaker 1: with people. They wanted a real commitment and that's what
Speaker 1: they found there. That's fantastic. They've helped over a million people,
Speaker 1: including Erica's mother and stuff father find a perfect match.
Speaker 1: And right now you can get a free month with
Speaker 1: the Harmony when you sign up for a three month subscription.
Speaker 1: Enter the code help at checkout as in help I
Speaker 1: sucker dating the name of this podcast, help at check out.
Speaker 1: That's what we all need start your journey to satisfying,
Speaker 1: meaningful relationship. It can be fun to play around in
Speaker 1: those apps. Were you ready to fall in love with someone?
Speaker 1: E Harmony is there for you, the one app that's
Speaker 1: built to bring you real love and come see how
Speaker 1: Harmony can change your life. Go to e harmony dot
Speaker 1: com and get started. The code is help at checkout
Speaker 1: Harmony dot com help at check out. When you sign
Speaker 1: up for a three month subscription, you get a free month.
Speaker 1: I like it. That's what I wanted to say. Harmony.
Speaker 1: You really convinced me that the state's gonna be good.
Speaker 1: It is going to be Actually, do think you know
Speaker 1: when it's e harmony, people are actually serious about it,
Speaker 1: and that's good. Hey, he's emojiing, so he's happy. Actually
Speaker 1: he's not. It's not an emoji. It's the dots in
Speaker 1: the parentheses. It's a whole thing. Oh you know, I'm
Speaker 1: not even mad at that's a little old school, more
Speaker 1: into that, a little more into that, slightly more of
Speaker 1: the original. Yeah, like the ai am the moticon. I
Speaker 1: think that's what they used to be called. Straight up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love that. I'm less worried about the state. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to We got a bunch of emails. You
Speaker 1: get people who needs some dating advice. Are you ready
Speaker 1: to give these people dating advice? I can't wait. You're
Speaker 1: in a relationship now. That makes you an expert. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: Alex is a female she found out there within her
Speaker 1: friend group. She's known as the three day Queen because
Speaker 1: when I find a guy I like, he goes on
Speaker 1: three days with me and then ghosts me. Trust me.
Speaker 1: I don't know why either. It's not because I sleep
Speaker 1: with them or do anything physical with them. I don't
Speaker 1: even have them over to my apartment. We do fun things.
Speaker 1: We go to movies and food festivals and ice skating,
Speaker 1: fun things. I sometimes plan them, he sometimes planned them.
Speaker 1: I'm just not sure why I could never move past
Speaker 1: the third date. I'm twenty three. Everyone tells me I'm young,
Speaker 1: don't worry, but I'm beginning to feel like a spinster.
Speaker 1: I'm againing to feel like there's not really anyone out
Speaker 1: there for me. It also doesn't help that I'm the
Speaker 1: only single girl out of all of my friends. Therefore,
Speaker 1: that makes meeting new people hard because none of my
Speaker 1: friends ever want to go out. I've used dating apps before,
Speaker 1: but I can't really get excited about them because guys
Speaker 1: are flakes. Most of the time. We'll talk for a week,
Speaker 1: exchange numbers, and then silence. I'm not afraid to text
Speaker 1: person be the one reaching out more, but I'm tired
Speaker 1: of pursuing man. I want someone to pursue me. Do
Speaker 1: you have any advice for someone that can't get past
Speaker 1: three days? That's alex Well, Alex, if all of your
Speaker 1: friends are taken, perhaps find some single friends, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, just some other people that are going out,
Speaker 1: because it is so much easier when when you're in
Speaker 1: a social setting, um or have you tell your friends
Speaker 1: to just I don't know how, stop being so boring
Speaker 1: and have them go out with their significant other. You
Speaker 1: can still go out when you're with someone. I'm with
Speaker 1: someone and we go out probably too much. That's a
Speaker 1: different conversation. But also I'm kind of curious what these
Speaker 1: what these dates are, because you talk about like fun adventures,
Speaker 1: but you never invite them over. And I think that
Speaker 1: there's kind of a fine line. You you want to
Speaker 1: wait and take things slow, which I completely respect, especially
Speaker 1: if you want something to be real, because you go
Speaker 1: too fast and it's going to be just a hook up, right,
Speaker 1: But if it's only just like fun activities and you're
Speaker 1: not showing any interest and maybe not even kissing or
Speaker 1: holding hands are getting intimate anyway, I think that it's
Speaker 1: easy for a guy, especially after three days, to go, oh,
Speaker 1: this is just a friend, which is fine, but guys
Speaker 1: sometimes need to be lead. If you will need to
Speaker 1: be just to be very clear, like we all we
Speaker 1: don't overthink things. Sometimes we underthink things and would just go,
Speaker 1: oh she wants to go ice skating, Great, that was fun.
Speaker 1: Oh she wants to go bowling this time. Alright, we'll
Speaker 1: be going batting cages next time. Great. I found another bra,
Speaker 1: got my homie. Chick here likes to do sports, and
Speaker 1: that's exciting. But you need to let them know you're
Speaker 1: interested too. So maybe just maybe that is kind of
Speaker 1: where there's some confusion going on. I think that's good
Speaker 1: advice that she doesn't do anything physical with them, and
Speaker 1: nobody here is encouraging you to sleep with anybody, to
Speaker 1: do anything you're not comfortable with. But maybe a kiss
Speaker 1: might be assigned to them that we're taking the next step,
Speaker 1: because three days of funzies and no kissing of any kind,
Speaker 1: they're gonna think this isn't going they wear Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean even if it's hand holding or some sort of
Speaker 1: intimacy in some ways, um, but especially basically you said
Speaker 1: that you don't ever have them over to your apartments,
Speaker 1: like if everything is social and there's never really any
Speaker 1: alone time with you guys, Yeah, are they interesting getting
Speaker 1: to know each other? Really? That's what I was wondering
Speaker 1: with that. Make a gun at your apartment, that's a
Speaker 1: really nice day. Or have him over to watch the
Speaker 1: movielix Neflex and you get the whole chill. Maybe Alex
Speaker 1: doesn't need Netflix and chill. I think maybe maybe maybe
Speaker 1: Date number three, it's Netflix and Hill. We've enjoyed ice skating,
Speaker 1: we've gone out man bowling with Brad was super exciting,
Speaker 1: kind of held hands, he gave me a little kisses time.
Speaker 1: Look at that Date two went already. Date three, you're
Speaker 1: gonna Netflix and you're gonna chill. But do it on
Speaker 1: your own terms. Okay, do it early, cook that dinner.
Speaker 1: So if you've got an early morning, you don't want
Speaker 1: them to spend the night, that's still your choice. But
Speaker 1: if it does go somewe a little further than great, right,
Speaker 1: it needs to be going in a direction. And then
Speaker 1: Date four suddenly materializes. Now they're in a loving relationship.
Speaker 1: Date four their futures. Wow, I'm Alex. I'm excited for you,
Speaker 1: I really am. And you're welcome. What about your friends
Speaker 1: with these guys that they're dating, can't they try to
Speaker 1: hook you up with somebody one of their guys friends?
Speaker 1: Girls are the worst. That's setting up other girls. That's
Speaker 1: just it. I just like, yeah. But the guys that
Speaker 1: the girl's boyfriends thinking like, oh, I've got this buddy
Speaker 1: and you've got this girl. I mean, yeah, come on, friends,
Speaker 1: throwing some double dating action here, right, Alex, your friends
Speaker 1: might be letting you down. So maybe back to my
Speaker 1: first point, let's get some new friends, just some new ones.
Speaker 1: Let's move on, all right. This is from Ali. I've
Speaker 1: been seeing this guy for a few months, we've been
Speaker 1: talking for over a year. Seeing and talking are in quotes,
Speaker 1: and we'll find out in the second why. I met
Speaker 1: him a few summers ago at a restaurant we both
Speaker 1: worked at. I was the hostess, he was a waiter.
Speaker 1: Sounds like a typical movie romance, but it isn't going
Speaker 1: that way now. Everything with him is super vague, vague.
Speaker 1: I was of trouble with that word because I'm from Wisconsin,
Speaker 1: so I it's easy to go vague on it. So
Speaker 1: I have to kind of split the difference from vague,
Speaker 1: and then I get it wrong. But anyway, it's one
Speaker 1: of those words I struggled with, wet, hang up. He
Speaker 1: used to show interest so much when we first started
Speaker 1: now I'm the one always initiating how long to hook up?
Speaker 1: Budd He's last. He shows interest sometimes, but other times
Speaker 1: he's distant. He never follows through. I have some feelings
Speaker 1: and it seems like he only thinks of himself. It's
Speaker 1: not that I wanted to be my boyfriend, but I
Speaker 1: can't even get simple gestures. Have you guys experienced a
Speaker 1: hot cold relationship. We've been doing this for months and
Speaker 1: we haven't even been on a date. He claims it
Speaker 1: because he's in the heating business and when the season
Speaker 1: slows down we can try to hang out more. There's
Speaker 1: your hot cold relationship right there. He does wake up
Speaker 1: for work around six thirty am. But if you like
Speaker 1: and care about someone, you prioritize that is the truth. Ali. Anyway,
Speaker 1: he's told me his last girlfriend left a bad imprint
Speaker 1: on him. I sympathize, But he's also told me that
Speaker 1: if I don't like the way he handles things, I
Speaker 1: should not hang out with him. I've broken it off
Speaker 1: a few times. When we come back to one another.
Speaker 1: Is it because we know the hookup is good? Or
Speaker 1: is it because we have a connection and we don't
Speaker 1: get much opportunity to explore it. Thanks guys. I hope
Speaker 1: I didn't ramble. I hope it makes soundse. I love
Speaker 1: the podcast and everyone who's a part of it. XO
Speaker 1: xo Ali Hearts Hearts Hearts move Ali, What are you doing?
Speaker 1: You've been a hooking up with this dude for a
Speaker 1: year and you're still waiting around for it to be serious.
Speaker 1: I mean, please move on. I mean, homie is just
Speaker 1: gonna let you keep being the hook up if you
Speaker 1: just keep letting it happen. He's super vague. Yeah, a
Speaker 1: year into casually hooking up with somebody, want to try
Speaker 1: to be super vague too, because I wanted to keep
Speaker 1: going on as long as they're gonna stick around. I mean,
Speaker 1: this is on you, girl. You gotta move on if
Speaker 1: you want some real it's not this dude. I have
Speaker 1: nothing that I just we're done with this and you
Speaker 1: did ramble, so I won't you deserve better? Do deserve battle?
Speaker 1: Battle battle, They deserve to how to speak? Eng's my
Speaker 1: Bad's on me. Look just that's it, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? And I know you like him for whatever reasons,
Speaker 1: but he's not showing it back. It's been a year.
Speaker 1: That's enough time you know he's not reciprocating. I think
Speaker 1: you need to find somebody who will. That's true. A
Speaker 1: year is all seasons of the year, the hot which
Speaker 1: season we're waiting for, waiting for that mystical fifth season
Speaker 1: to come around, waiting for him to grow up? And
Speaker 1: he's not there, So move on. Jessica is one years old.
Speaker 1: She recently went home with a guy that she just met.
Speaker 1: They were both drinking. We really hit it off. I
Speaker 1: didn't want the nex to end. He's twenty two, and
Speaker 1: we slept together. I regretted it the next day, but
Speaker 1: I was happy. I met him. Five days later. We
Speaker 1: hung out again, sober at his apartment and I slept over.
Speaker 1: I knew that's why he wanted to hang out, but
Speaker 1: I just really wanted to see him again. I didn't
Speaker 1: hear from much after that, but on St. Patrick's Day
Speaker 1: he called me drunk and wanted me to go over
Speaker 1: when I didn't, and I snapchatted him the next day
Speaker 1: and he never answered. I keep thinking about him. Is
Speaker 1: he embarrassed? Does he just want sex from me? In general?
Speaker 1: Help I second dating. I've got the answer to this one,
Speaker 1: but didn't also want to start us off. This is
Speaker 1: just bad. I it's it's not let me see if
Speaker 1: if on the same page as you, let's go. He
Speaker 1: just wants that from you, and that's all I'm afraid
Speaker 1: that's all this is in his mind. I'm sorry. That
Speaker 1: is correct. He's not embarrassed. He you're the hook up,
Speaker 1: and if you don't want to be the hook up anymore,
Speaker 1: you gotta stop. It's as simple as that, you know,
Speaker 1: and hopefully you had fun with it. There's nothing wrong
Speaker 1: with that. There really isn't. Sex should be enjoyable. It
Speaker 1: sounds like it was completely mutual and you had a
Speaker 1: great time. Um, and then you went and you did
Speaker 1: it again. You did sober, which just validated that, hey,
Speaker 1: this is a cool thing that we can do. And
Speaker 1: I think that, especially at twenty two years old, I
Speaker 1: think it is fair to say the girls grow faster.
Speaker 1: Twenty two year old dude is just excited to be
Speaker 1: hooking up with a pretty girl right now, and you're made.
Speaker 1: You've made it. Not that you've made it easy on
Speaker 1: you both. You both ended up doing this pretty quickly
Speaker 1: and pretty casually, which to him was so exciting, like, oh,
Speaker 1: we can keep doing this. But the moment you're going
Speaker 1: to try and take it further. I feel like it
Speaker 1: might just be too late to stop. And if he
Speaker 1: really is interested, then whether it's a week or a
Speaker 1: month or whenever, he might come back and then say hey,
Speaker 1: I missed this, and then you can address a potential relationship.
Speaker 1: But you can't just keep poking up with them and
Speaker 1: expect it to go somewhere further. The friends with benefits relationship,
Speaker 1: somebody often the girl, but somebody's going to develop feelings
Speaker 1: in that situation, and then it's gonna be problematic if
Speaker 1: somebody's gonna get hurt. And I think every girl finds
Speaker 1: them in one of those relationships at some point and
Speaker 1: accidentally sometimes right like you didn't how do that? Oh
Speaker 1: my god? I yeah, too many times and then you
Speaker 1: end up sitting there like wait a minute, this is
Speaker 1: like so not me, Like that's not what I want.
Speaker 1: And if she's trying to have contact with him outside
Speaker 1: of what he wants and he's not reciprocating, it's done.
Speaker 1: So yes, But on that note, don't be embarrassed because
Speaker 1: everybody does do this in it right, So hopefully you
Speaker 1: had fun and just find someone else and show them,
Speaker 1: you know, if you're interested a little earlier on maybe
Speaker 1: and if this guy is, you know, really interested and
Speaker 1: grows up, he'll probably text you back in a little bit.
Speaker 1: I like that you give some hope to this situation.
Speaker 1: There should be hope. Let's live in a state of hope.
Speaker 1: Absolutely more. Organ we know more than Morgan has tweeted
Speaker 1: as a bunch of times, I got her name wrong
Speaker 1: and she'll never let me forget that I called her Megan,
Speaker 1: and I feel bad about it. But I have a
Speaker 1: dog named Morgan and a daughter with the middle name Megan.
Speaker 1: So it's all confusing, super confusing. Hi, Sarah, happy to
Speaker 1: have you. Morgan's interesting. She goes to the same restaurant
Speaker 1: once a month, sometimes once a week, and she's really
Speaker 1: into the manager. His name is Austin. He's cool, he's kind,
Speaker 1: and he said to her she looks super cute, but
Speaker 1: at the time she was dating someone, which she got
Speaker 1: the super cute. Now that she's been single for a
Speaker 1: few months, she's been trying to see him, but she's
Speaker 1: not told him that she's single, and he hasn't asked either.
Speaker 1: What she wants to do with her friend go with
Speaker 1: her and talk about how single she is and kind
Speaker 1: of make it obvious to him, and she's not sure
Speaker 1: if that's weird or not. Should she tell him she's
Speaker 1: single and let it go? It's been four years she's
Speaker 1: been going at this restaurant and nothing's happened yet. She's
Speaker 1: twenty three, so since she was nineteen, she's been a
Speaker 1: regular at this place. And also what if he's dating someone? Now?
Speaker 1: What's sure? Also he does cute things for me. He
Speaker 1: gives her immune boost Choose, I love this place. I
Speaker 1: want to go there, give me hot tea for free.
Speaker 1: When my voice is gone. He doesn't even make me pay.
Speaker 1: I pay him later. Is he just kinder? Is he interested? Also?
Speaker 1: Just random thing to throw? And when your voice is gone?
Speaker 1: How often is your voice? Maybe? I guess has happened
Speaker 1: once or twice. It's just like a reoccurring thing. Are
Speaker 1: you a singer? I can understand that. Wait also four
Speaker 1: years and talk about this again? Taking four years to
Speaker 1: even asked this? Show some advice? Yeah? I mean yeah,
Speaker 1: he's probably dated eighteen people. I don't just do you
Speaker 1: could have a wife and kids at this point. I
Speaker 1: think I think you might need to say something pretty soon,
Speaker 1: not wait another four years for else. I don't know,
Speaker 1: you just might risk him dating someone else, because, like
Speaker 1: we said, why not just just initiate this, right? Can
Speaker 1: she be a little more obvious about this? I think
Speaker 1: you need to be if you like them and you
Speaker 1: keep going there once a week, don't lie to us, girl,
Speaker 1: It's not once a month. Even said it could be
Speaker 1: once a week. It's clearly twice a week. And you know,
Speaker 1: just just say hey, by the way, you know I'm single.
Speaker 1: You know, do you want to go out for tea
Speaker 1: sometime at another tea place? Mean, look, be cute about it,
Speaker 1: be awkward about it, that's okay, but say something awkward, adorable, awkward,
Speaker 1: Yes it is. It's not working for me. Awkward is
Speaker 1: kind of your thing? Yeah, totally. But anyway back to
Speaker 1: more and raise your own awkwardness. Someone's going to find
Speaker 1: their own flavor of awkward. Yeah. I mean, look, if
Speaker 1: you want to be super awkward and have your friend coming, like,
Speaker 1: how are you going to just talk about a single you? Guys,
Speaker 1: I don't love it. I don't love it either. What
Speaker 1: is this sex in the city? And like we just
Speaker 1: get super loud, like, oh my god, I haven't been
Speaker 1: with a guy in eight months and that's just gonna
Speaker 1: sound weird too. Can't you just go up here and say, look,
Speaker 1: I've been coming here for four years. I've really enjoyed
Speaker 1: seeing you here every time I was look forward to
Speaker 1: seeing you. Would you want to hang out sometime? Like?
Speaker 1: What's wrong with that? Literally? Just verbat and repeat what
Speaker 1: he just said. Just that's just as simple as that.
Speaker 1: You just just say something honest and and that's very honest,
Speaker 1: and clearly he likes you in some capacity. He is
Speaker 1: giving you what vitamin? Choose? Both choose? Do you just
Speaker 1: get sick all the time? Is your voice always? I
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean play it up. You guys can
Speaker 1: go play doctor or something. I don't know. Okay, maybe
Speaker 1: wait until like the third day for that one again.
Speaker 1: That's my fourth date specialty playing doctor. I want to
Speaker 1: lead people to straight here. Yes, say something, Morgan, I think.
Speaker 1: I think the theme of today's show is guys, don't
Speaker 1: be afraid. What do you really have to lose? That's
Speaker 1: the thing. You might have to go to a different
Speaker 1: health food restaurant. Okay, you know, I guess if you're
Speaker 1: getting free teasev what's more valuable? The free tease and
Speaker 1: health choose. If that's the worst case scenario, I think
Speaker 1: you gotta go for it. Just ask him to hang out.
Speaker 1: I think so, I think so, and you'll know immediately
Speaker 1: his response. And I mean literally, next time you go there,
Speaker 1: don't wait even a month, because you're gonna get to
Speaker 1: a pattern of waiting. Doing this for four years that
Speaker 1: really is adorable. Maybe don't say you've liked him for
Speaker 1: four years. That could come across as a little bit
Speaker 1: much at first, but honestly, you're a saving company for
Speaker 1: a long time. He knows you know him and just say, hey,
Speaker 1: let's uh would hang out sometimes? I like it is
Speaker 1: Is it a red flag at all that he told
Speaker 1: her she looks SuperH my god, that's what I was
Speaker 1: going to bring up. Super cute. It's a weird Did
Speaker 1: straight guys say, oh my gosh, you look super cute?
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, okay, iddy, you did, You're no. I think
Speaker 1: that's fine. You look you look really cute. I mean,
Speaker 1: i'd probably say really, but you can say super It's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you look super cute today. Who knows this is over
Speaker 1: four years he said a lot of Okay, so let's
Speaker 1: say that he's so let's say that was him being
Speaker 1: honest and genuine. That was he was opening the door,
Speaker 1: him trying. So hopefully that wasn't when you were nineteen
Speaker 1: and this was closer to you being twenty three. Because
Speaker 1: that happened recently, he's clearly interested. I think the doors
Speaker 1: open and then things could have changed. But if it
Speaker 1: happened recently, you could even compliment him back and started
Speaker 1: that way. But like, hey, you look great today. I mean,
Speaker 1: you can flirt once, he said, he's flirted once. He's
Speaker 1: been a gentleman. Actually, he flirted once and you didn't
Speaker 1: reciprocate it. So we didn't do it again, So he
Speaker 1: probably won't until you do. This one is definitely on you,
Speaker 1: definitely on you more than go for it. Let us know,
Speaker 1: let us know what happened. Tweet me. You know how
Speaker 1: to do that. Can't wait, Austin, lucky man. Four years
Speaker 1: she's been falling for you. What a great story to
Speaker 1: tell your kids someday I went to his restaurant for
Speaker 1: four years. Really up here, by the way, our email address,
Speaker 1: I suck at dating and I heeart media dot com.
Speaker 1: And they'll head into it one more here because we
Speaker 1: got to keep these emails coming they're great stuff. This
Speaker 1: is an anonymous and those are usually the juiciest. She's
Speaker 1: twenty two. She went in a couple of days with
Speaker 1: a guy and it was great. He was such a gentleman,
Speaker 1: and we agreed we wanted to hang out again. In
Speaker 1: the following days. We exchanged the lighthearted banter on Snapchat, Instagram,
Speaker 1: et cetera, and he was super conversational and sarcastic, which
Speaker 1: I love. Later that week, I have to hang out
Speaker 1: again and he didn't answer. A day or two later,
Speaker 1: I sent a gift that said rejected because he has
Speaker 1: a good sense of humor, and he apologized incessantly. He
Speaker 1: sent Smiley's just like You're Gay. Erica suggested things we
Speaker 1: could do, share that he was nervous. I was actually
Speaker 1: mad and said, he text me. Well, since then, he's
Speaker 1: been distant. The funny banter is gone, and I feel
Speaker 1: like he's completely uninterested. All of a sudden, What happened?
Speaker 1: He was the one initiating, and all of a sudden
Speaker 1: it's stopped. Is he just telling me he's busy as
Speaker 1: an excuse? Should I still put an effort? Any advice
Speaker 1: is welcome. She's anonymous, Hi anonymous? How are you. This
Speaker 1: is a tough one because I think we all find
Speaker 1: ourselves in situations like this, especially when you're single and
Speaker 1: you're dating, you know, especially with all the apps and
Speaker 1: and all the opportunity to meet somebody new. Most people
Speaker 1: are talking to several people at once, and so it's
Speaker 1: a combination of meeting the right person and then timing
Speaker 1: because if things are going well, you can't wait around
Speaker 1: go and meet that person, continue to get another person
Speaker 1: because if you wait you long, you're both talking to
Speaker 1: five or ten people or twenty people on these freaking things. Now, yeah,
Speaker 1: he's gonna end up meeting somebody else. You're gonna have
Speaker 1: talking to someone else. You can only keep each one
Speaker 1: of these conversations going for so long, which is why
Speaker 1: the apps I think that they're referring to don't work
Speaker 1: super well. It's too much opportunity too quickly. So if
Speaker 1: you like him and you've gone on these days, it's
Speaker 1: I mean, just I would initiate trying to do more
Speaker 1: in person. Again, you're not gonna win if you're just
Speaker 1: competing over text or over snapchat or whatever it is
Speaker 1: with all the other people, You're gonna win being in person,
Speaker 1: being the great person version of you that you are.
Speaker 1: So I think that's if you like somebody, that's where
Speaker 1: you gotta differentiate. You don't get in the habit of
Speaker 1: just texting back and forth because you're both doing it
Speaker 1: with too many people and trying to do your jobs,
Speaker 1: whatever they may be, and live your lives. It's too much.
Speaker 1: So it's inevitable that, especially a guy, is going to
Speaker 1: be distant because guys won't. I don't personally. I don't
Speaker 1: like keeping up on text all the time. So if
Speaker 1: you like him, let him know that, go out in
Speaker 1: person again and feel it out in real life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think there's something going on and you don't know
Speaker 1: what it is, and you almost don't have to know
Speaker 1: what it is. But he's moved on, he's over it.
Speaker 1: He's maybe got his eye on somebody else. Man. I
Speaker 1: guess he could be super busy or something like the
Speaker 1: girl and me wants to be like, oh he hail,
Speaker 1: it's maybe his dog the flu right. Yeah, we could
Speaker 1: go on forever, but it's a great excuse, sespecially when
Speaker 1: you don't have a dog. The bottom line is, if
Speaker 1: he wanted to go out with you again, he would
Speaker 1: go out with you again. Percent easy, and I'm sorry
Speaker 1: that he doesn't, and maybe he will someday, but you
Speaker 1: don't want to wait around for that because you can
Speaker 1: do better. You want a guy who's really excited to
Speaker 1: see you again. Absolutely, And i'd say, look, and I
Speaker 1: hate to hate to say be a guy in this regard,
Speaker 1: so I want to give us a little more credit.
Speaker 1: But a lot of guys will kind of almost give
Speaker 1: it like an ultimatum, which is like, hey, let's do
Speaker 1: this one thing and if you don't respond, they're gonna
Speaker 1: move on. They're gonna go they're gonna just let it go.
Speaker 1: And guys have an ability to do that, do the
Speaker 1: same thing, do it right back. But like, hey, been
Speaker 1: fun hanging out with you, would love to see you
Speaker 1: this week on free Thursday. Do you want to go out?
Speaker 1: Just be definitive and if his answers yes, and you
Speaker 1: guys go out and it's great, fantastic. If he doesn't
Speaker 1: respond or he's flaky on it, call quits, move on. Guys.
Speaker 1: That's interesting to bring that up, because guys do have
Speaker 1: a real issue with rejection. Whether it's I mean, it's
Speaker 1: a I know, but guys are really and I experienced
Speaker 1: this a lot. Uh in my dating life. I'm married
Speaker 1: now James, but back in the day, thank you kidding,
Speaker 1: that's awesome. You fear rejection, you really do. I mean
Speaker 1: it's asking somebody out or asking there's always, like he said,
Speaker 1: if you ask someone out and they say no, it's uh.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's a bloat your masculinity or
Speaker 1: whatever it is. You don't want to experience that again,
Speaker 1: so you're less likely to ask again. Absolutely, I think
Speaker 1: the guys are much more quick to put up walls
Speaker 1: and if it doesn't work at first, they're afraid to
Speaker 1: keep trying. And it's you know, I think there's there's
Speaker 1: something we said about sometimes a girl continuing to initiate
Speaker 1: the conversation and try for it. But if he's just
Speaker 1: shut off, he just moved on for whatever reason. Don't
Speaker 1: waste your time. Go meet somebody else. Can meet somebody
Speaker 1: who's going to reciprocate it. And once again, it may
Speaker 1: not be that he doesn't like you. It could just
Speaker 1: be a timing thing. You're twenty two, he's around your age.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you ladies, young guys, young twenties, especially in
Speaker 1: l A. I don't know where you live it's tough
Speaker 1: to take things too seriously. Um, there's too much opportunity. Man,
Speaker 1: everybody's got an app meeting eighty five thousand people a day.
Speaker 1: The second something isn't perfect in somebody's mind, they move
Speaker 1: on to the next thing, and it sucks. And I
Speaker 1: wish it wasn't that way because I don't like it.
Speaker 1: I am old fashioned in that regard. But just be realistic.
Speaker 1: That's the world we live in. And if somebody's gonna
Speaker 1: do that to you, don't waste your time. Go meet
Speaker 1: somebody else. You know what's interesting about you? Guys saying
Speaker 1: like men hate rejection whatever, Then why is it that
Speaker 1: men are always the ones who a month later, six
Speaker 1: months later, reach back in send you that text, want
Speaker 1: to remind you they're still around, Like after you've moved on,
Speaker 1: the sex was probably okay, well a little bored that weekend.
Speaker 1: I don't just come on just like it's just every
Speaker 1: guy I've ever dated. It is just like, well, you know,
Speaker 1: a year later, OK. For you, a year later, it's embarrassing,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I better play your cards right. I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, because guys forget the rejection after a while.
Speaker 1: They only remember the good parts. God, it's like when
Speaker 1: they're the ones who screwed it up, they should just
Speaker 1: stay away. Yeah, that's and that is Every guy who's
Speaker 1: ever like dumped me is like, oh hey, hold on
Speaker 1: a second though, and it's like no. Well, they also
Speaker 1: like to keep their options open. They like having a
Speaker 1: lot of possibilities at all times. They want the attention
Speaker 1: all right. They like a lot of a lot of
Speaker 1: pots and a lot of burners. Well, I'm gonna get
Speaker 1: my pots on my burner. Men. You go for a girl,
Speaker 1: you go for you just cook up a whole feast
Speaker 1: pots and burners. I don't know where this reference is going,
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna all right before we go, James, what's
Speaker 1: going on with you in terms of acting? In terms
Speaker 1: of music, Um, I I'm very excited. I've got a
Speaker 1: new single called All Day, which will be coming out
Speaker 1: here shortly. I currently have a single Falling that's out
Speaker 1: right now, so I'm very excited about that. Um. A
Speaker 1: couple of movies coming out just got Actually I don't
Speaker 1: know when this is. One's coming out, so I don't
Speaker 1: want to talk about it, but I'll show you the picture.
Speaker 1: It's super creepy. How do you not know when your
Speaker 1: movies are coming out, because that's that's the problem with that.
Speaker 1: I've got my movie Bachelor Lions. We had a premiere
Speaker 1: in January and it's slated to go to theaters, so
Speaker 1: we'll be getting a major theatrical release, which I'm very
Speaker 1: excited about. But they've got to figure out amongst all
Speaker 1: the other movies coming out when it's gonna go. This
Speaker 1: one's kind of fun. It's called Twisted Tenants. I have
Speaker 1: no idea what it's coming up, but I just got
Speaker 1: the post you today, creepy. It played a serial killer,
Speaker 1: which was mold of the World. So yeah, film and music,
Speaker 1: a bunch going on. I'm very excited. So just at
Speaker 1: James Maslow follow all my fun stuff and I'll keep
Speaker 1: you guys updated. Can we say we probably can't say
Speaker 1: any about what you told us earlier today the call
Speaker 1: you got this morning, because that was pretty cool. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you can say anything though, Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: of course. I mean, you never know what's gonna happen,
Speaker 1: but I um, just because it was kind of serendipitous,
Speaker 1: we're talking about it. I got an offer for a
Speaker 1: movie this morning, which is always amazing. I'm very, very
Speaker 1: blessed to be in a position where that's that's happening
Speaker 1: and starting to happen more exactly how I wanted to.
Speaker 1: My point is, I've always wanted to do a period piece,
Speaker 1: especially World War Two, because my grandfather flew B seventeen
Speaker 1: bombers in World War Two, actually has two purple hearts
Speaker 1: shotdown twice, saved his whole crew both times. And I've
Speaker 1: always wanted to, you know, be able to act, to
Speaker 1: pick that area as we kind of respect and homage
Speaker 1: to him. And got a an offer for a film
Speaker 1: in World World War two era, and it happens to
Speaker 1: be my grandfather's birthday today, and it happened today, So
Speaker 1: I just thought that was very serendipitous and very awesome
Speaker 1: and I can't wait to read the script and get
Speaker 1: into it, and I hope it is as awesome as
Speaker 1: it sounds. Yeah day, thank you great, thank you, thank
Speaker 1: you very much for being here today. It's you guys
Speaker 1: are so fun. I hope you'll come back and do
Speaker 1: this again. I would love to. And everybody who wrote
Speaker 1: in their emails, thank you guys, and all the listeners.
Speaker 1: I hope you guys enjoyed having me. It was fun
Speaker 1: being here. I suck at dating at I heeart media
Speaker 1: dot com. Keep them coming and give us updates and
Speaker 1: what's going on. You can let no James, if we
Speaker 1: can let James know if his advice was any good
Speaker 1: at all, if it worked, or if it didn't. You
Speaker 1: give good advice though, thank you. I'd like I'd like
Speaker 1: to think so, you know what I mean. We keep
Speaker 1: it all a little bit of levity with it, joke
Speaker 1: to a point, but I hope it actually helps. As
Speaker 1: somebody who's been navigating the dating world for the better
Speaker 1: part of the last ten years, not anymore. No, right now,
Speaker 1: we're we've navigated, we have found, we have found somebody
Speaker 1: really special. So hey, next time we'll talk about where
Speaker 1: that's at. Right of being good, Hey, I'll bring her
Speaker 1: on still going well, she's still being nice to me.
Speaker 1: That would be fun. Oh my god, that would be
Speaker 1: a little ridiculous. Actually not a bad idea. All right,
Speaker 1: Thank you, James. This has been help. I suck at dating,
Speaker 1: and next week maybe hopefully all of you will suck
Speaker 1: a little less. Sure, Yeah, hell, I suck at dating.
Speaker 1: On I Heart radio or wherever you listen to podcasts,