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Speaker 1: Do worlds, would you? It's your mind, your resilient pieces.

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Speaker 2: Banana ba.

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Speaker 1: Ba bana.

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Speaker 2: Guys, gals, non binary pals. Welcome to a Minnesota of bananas.

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Speaker 1: Hello, Scottie, Hey, Curty b what's up?

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Speaker 3: Man?

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Speaker 1: Not much? What is up? What is up?

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Speaker 3: Are you watching The Patient on FX and home?

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Speaker 1: Watching The Patient? I love that show. Yeah, it's pretty good.

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Speaker 2: It's surprising that it is still keeping my interest, you know,

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Speaker 2: because of the fact of its constraints.

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Speaker 1: Yes, is in time and space. I agree.

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Speaker 3: It makes me happy though. I like when things that

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Speaker 3: should be getting made get made. I like when movies

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Speaker 3: do well that they're like, wow, a comedy made one

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Speaker 3: hundred million dollars. You're like, well it should. Oh, I

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Speaker 3: have a funny story for you.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay.

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Speaker 3: When when I'm bored and home alone, don't have work

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Speaker 3: to do, I watch scary movies. I watch horror movies.

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Speaker 3: I have shutter, I have everything. And so yesterday Barbarians

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Speaker 3: came up on screen. I was like, I'm going to

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Speaker 3: buy it right now. So I buy this movie. I

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Speaker 3: turned it on. I start watching and it's a thriller.

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Speaker 3: And I'm watching, and I'm watching, and I'm like, I

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Speaker 3: know Kurt's going to be in this at some point,

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Speaker 3: and then I don't recognize anybody in it, and then

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Speaker 3: the movie doesn't do Everybody had told me that Barbarian

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Speaker 3: is about like an Airbnb or something, and I'm.

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Speaker 1: Like, this isn't about that at all, but kind of is.

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Speaker 3: And then thirty minutes in I just pause it and

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Speaker 3: realize that there is a movie called Barbarians with an

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Speaker 3: S that came out last year, and I downloaded the

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Speaker 3: wrong movie waiting for something cool to happen, waiting to

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Speaker 3: see Zach Kreeger, waiting to see you, waiting to see

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Speaker 3: any scary and the movie I watched not very good,

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Speaker 3: So Pan Animals. If you want to support Curtain, see

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Speaker 3: him in a surprising hit horror movie called Barbary in

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Speaker 3: singular wait till it's streaming because it's not now and

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Speaker 3: somebody got fourteen ninety nine out of this old dog.

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Speaker 1: Fourteen ninety nine Barbarios. Well, that's why I thought it

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Speaker 1: was your movie.

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Speaker 3: It's a It is like a dark scary movie from

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Speaker 3: I did turn it off because I wasn't really enjoying it.

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Speaker 3: But it opens with the guy jogging and there's like

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Speaker 3: a dead fox, and then the dead fox like kind

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Speaker 3: of comes back to life and yips at him and

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Speaker 3: snaps at him, and then he goes back home from

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Speaker 3: the jog and the fox is somehow in his kitchen

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Speaker 3: and dying there. And so I'm like, Okay, they're setting

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Speaker 3: a weird tone here. I know kurtzm movie shot in

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Speaker 3: Bulgaria or wherever, and I was like, Okay, this is

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Speaker 3: very European feeling that it's just not very good. So anyways,

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Speaker 3: now I'll just double down and buy a Barbarian when

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Speaker 3: it's on.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, baby, I'm excited that my special is out in

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Speaker 2: the world.

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Speaker 1: Oh, speaking of movie TV shows, people should watch. Yeah, dude,

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Speaker 1: res Dogs. I yeah, that shows amazing season and it's

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Speaker 1: Reservation Dogs.

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Speaker 2: It is so good and it is like it's I

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Speaker 2: can't I can't get over how much I love it.

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Speaker 2: I think it's my favorite comedy of because it's like

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Speaker 2: it's half dramatic but also it's in that FX comedy way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, They're awesome.

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Speaker 2: It's just so good and the and the ending of

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Speaker 2: the second season is beautiful and I was crying my

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Speaker 2: eyes out and so good.

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Speaker 3: That's really good. I'm glad to hear that, it's uh,

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Speaker 3: it's rare. Well, FX makes the best shows, That's what

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Speaker 3: we're ultimately saying those guys, I don't I don't even

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Speaker 3: like pitching there anymore because I'm like, this isn't good

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Speaker 3: enough for you guys.

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Speaker 1: Yeah you know it. I know it. Everybody knows what's

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Speaker 1: going on. Great shows on the wall while I talk

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Speaker 1: to you about it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, much more original, higher concepts, smarter shows with better cast.

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Speaker 3: I'm over here. It's like it's the Ham family. It's

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Speaker 3: a legacy of making Ham and then bears on the

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Speaker 3: wall and patients on the wall. I'm like, it's thick through,

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Speaker 3: thick and thin. They slice them together and they're like,

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Speaker 3: oh god, this is going so terribly.

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Speaker 1: Then it really starts the spiral.

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Speaker 2: But also think about like the bear. The bear is

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Speaker 2: like pitching that show like it's like it's all tone.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: People have pitched the show one hundred times before.

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Speaker 1: People have pitched that show.

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Speaker 2: Like somebody dies and somebody inherits a restaurant, they have

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Speaker 2: to run the restaurant. That's like that's been done billions,

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Speaker 2: one billion times. Yeah, and it's I don't understand how

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Speaker 2: you pitch it and just be like, well it's tone

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Speaker 2: though it's the tone is different, it's up.

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Speaker 3: Sure, it's the creator has enough cred where they go,

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Speaker 3: all right, this person knows what they're doing. Oh exactly,

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Speaker 3: I have one interesting thing. This is a good thing

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Speaker 3: to say on the minisod, so really test who pays

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Speaker 3: to listen to Wondery.

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Speaker 1: Plus a friend of mine.

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Speaker 3: Lee was like, Hey, there's this bar in Los Angeles

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Speaker 3: that they're going to sell the building, so it's only

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Speaker 3: going to be around for maybe three months, maybe six months,

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Speaker 3: maybe a year. Do you want to take it over

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Speaker 3: for three months, six months or year as a theme?

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Speaker 3: And I said, I want to open a bar called

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Speaker 3: the North Pole in Los Angeles that is Christmas theme

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Speaker 3: year round till it closes. So I don't have the

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Speaker 3: yes yet. He's going to look at it, but already

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Speaker 3: has the beer and wine. But anyways, so there, I

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Speaker 3: would say, right now, there's a fifty to fifty chance

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Speaker 3: I will be opening a bar in LA sometime in

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Speaker 3: the next few months, complete Christmas year round, like over

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Speaker 3: the top called the North Pole, and I'll bartend as

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Speaker 3: much as I can just so we make a buttload

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Speaker 3: of money, and you can come to a comedy show

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Speaker 3: there if you want, or oh whatever, you can show

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Speaker 3: your special there. People can do birthdays there, and.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I would totally do a premiere party there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. So I'll let you know, and I'll let all

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Speaker 3: the ban animals know, and if anybody's coming to LA

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Speaker 3: I'll make it very clear on the main pot if

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Speaker 3: it goes through. But it just is one of those

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Speaker 3: things where the owners love my friend who already has

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Speaker 3: a bar in a different property they own. They're like,

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Speaker 3: we're going to put this thing on the market at

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Speaker 3: some point. But in the meantime, if we want to

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Speaker 3: make some money, and you guys want to make some money,

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Speaker 3: do you want to do a pop up bar? And

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Speaker 3: I'm like, yes, yes, I do.

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Speaker 1: Such a great idea, wouldn't that be the best? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's so dumb.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well let's that's that's my confession as Santa Claus.

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Speaker 3: Like every bartender, Santa come in and just hang out. Okay,

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Speaker 3: so we do your stories, your confessions. The prompt from

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Speaker 3: two weeks ago was social media mistakes or blaming others

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Speaker 3: very far.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, I do have an idea for your bar. Oh please?

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Speaker 2: Is if you can have a velvet roped area that

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Speaker 2: doesn't go like there's a velvet rope to like a

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Speaker 2: hallway that it's just like whatever, it's employees or it's

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Speaker 2: like a toilet or whatever. Once a day, someone as

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Speaker 2: Santa comes in, No one's allowed to look at him

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Speaker 2: or talk to him. And then like a security group

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Speaker 2: walks with him just to that velvet area and like

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Speaker 2: goes in, but.

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Speaker 1: Everyone's like, don't talk to him.

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Speaker 3: Crazy that's coming.

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Speaker 1: Through And that just happens and that's it, and then

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Speaker 1: they like leave out the great idea. That's a great

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Speaker 1: idea and celebrity at that bar.

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Speaker 3: In social media moment, which is what we're all about

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Speaker 3: on bananas. Speaking of social media moments, Yeah, confessions were

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Speaker 3: blaming others or social media mistakes. Here's a quickie to

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Speaker 3: get us started. I once responded to a free pearl

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Speaker 3: necklace ad on Craigslist. It wasn't until years later I

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Speaker 3: realized what it meant. You're absolved, be careful out there,

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Speaker 3: especially Craigslist. My god.

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Speaker 1: I'd be like responded like yes, how much is it? Why? Yes?

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Speaker 1: I would enjoy and I'm paying you for this.

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Speaker 3: Okay, if you don't know what it is, Google it,

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Speaker 3: but make sure there are no children around. Okay, this

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Speaker 3: one I think is a Kurt Brown Oller fastball.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 3: When I was seventeen, I had my very first dramatic

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Speaker 3: breakup and had to tell all my social media friends

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Speaker 3: about it. So I posted quote, Adam and I are

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Speaker 3: borking up borking at Hontree. Every year when it comes

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Speaker 3: up on my Facebook memories, we're borking up?

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Speaker 1: Why is that so good?

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Speaker 3: I screamed out of that one so fast, like, hey, guys,

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Speaker 3: I'm having a really rough wee.

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Speaker 1: Kurt and I are we borked up? And my god,

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Speaker 1: I almost I almost vomited. That was so funny. Oh man,

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Speaker 1: we're borked up. Yes, that was right up my alley,

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Speaker 1: borking up. You had the knack, oh borking up?

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Speaker 2: Because also the O and the R so far away

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Speaker 2: from each other. There's so far away from each other. Yes,

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Speaker 2: he is far away from Oh, nothing's near. Oh and

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Speaker 2: bork is not a word, it's not an autocorrect that's right.

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Speaker 1: Oh.

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Speaker 3: Sorry, And it's like this is a young person.

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Speaker 1: Oh broken, it's broken, he's broken, not breaking up.

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Speaker 3: No, broken, Yeah, they wanted breaking up, they said, borken.

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Speaker 1: So the O in the R got swapped.

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Speaker 3: But it's like you're when you're young and you're trying

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Speaker 3: to get a little sympathy from your extended frank community

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Speaker 3: online and then you.

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Speaker 1: Just blow it so hard.

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Speaker 3: But good on that bananimal for not deleting it and

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Speaker 3: leaving it up there. Hank oh, Adam and I are

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Speaker 3: borken up. Here's another one. One time I screenshoted this

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Speaker 3: guy's messages who specifically said he hated screenshotting, and I

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Speaker 3: sent them back to him. That's fine, you put it

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Speaker 3: right back in his face. There you go, no problem.

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Speaker 3: This must have been on Snapchat. I'm assuming, I guess,

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Speaker 3: so disappeared. Oh yeah, well I know. Thank god I'm

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Speaker 3: not on that. There was a brief time in Comedy

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Speaker 3: Central paid us to have snapchat a company house party,

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Speaker 3: and because we had to, like every week when the

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Speaker 3: new episodes would come out, we'd.

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Speaker 1: Have to share stuff. And then as soon as that

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Speaker 1: was done, I was like, what am I doing? This

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Speaker 1: is just trouble making one.

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Speaker 3: Oh one, let's see there's a couple really fun ones

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Speaker 3: in here. Oh there's a good revenge one. Okay, let

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Speaker 3: me find this one.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if this counts as a personal social

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Speaker 3: media mistake, but several years ago, I found out my

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Speaker 3: long distance ex boyfriend was cheating on me through his

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Speaker 3: partner's Instagram and blog that he shared on his main

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Speaker 3: socials rather than his other accounts.

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Speaker 1: I didn't meet.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I found out long distance ex boyfriend is cheating

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Speaker 3: on me through his other partner's Instagram and blog. Okay,

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Speaker 3: that he shared on his main socials rather than his

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Speaker 3: other accounts. So this what I'm guessing. Yes, okay, I

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Speaker 3: think I understand secret.

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Speaker 2: He had a secret yes Instagram account, Yes, that was

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Speaker 2: for his other life in whatever city he.

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Speaker 3: Yes, that's what I'm thinking.

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Speaker 1: Mmm.

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Speaker 3: I didn't immediately confront him because he'd already bought plane

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Speaker 3: tickets to meet me in Ashville. I told him no

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Speaker 3: worries about renting a car because I would come pick

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Speaker 3: him up because I was going to arrive there the

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Speaker 3: night before. Instead, I let him fly several thousand miles

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Speaker 3: while I drove down to Disney World. I let him

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Speaker 3: call me for several hours after he landed before I

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Speaker 3: finally answered. He was furious and asked where the fuck

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Speaker 3: I was and that I needed to come pick him up.

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Speaker 3: I said, why don't you let Why don't you ask

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Speaker 3: Ashley to come pick you up? That is not her

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Speaker 3: real name. He tried to save it, but I was

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Speaker 3: not interested. I left him stranded in Asheville with no car,

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Speaker 3: no book, hotel, no friends, and no idea where to go.

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Speaker 1: He could still be there to this day for all

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Speaker 1: I know. Wow, that's pretty good. That's pretty damn good.

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Speaker 1: Good as to the Disney World that you gotta feel good,

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Speaker 1: happiest place on earth.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, uh, that is good revenge.

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Speaker 1: That is like a true excellent bust it.

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Speaker 3: And it takes a lot of uh serial killer patients

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Speaker 3: to pull that one off. Takes them a lot emotional

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Speaker 3: control to pull that one off.

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Speaker 2: For real, and then also to not answer the phone

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Speaker 2: for a couple hours or even to turn it off

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Speaker 2: like that is. That's masterful. I do not want to

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Speaker 2: ever cross that person.

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Speaker 3: Yes, but it's interesting that they like disney World, which

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Speaker 3: sort of goes into the adults who like Disney World

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Speaker 3: might be wired a little different.

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Speaker 2: Oh man, all right, give me a I do have

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Speaker 2: one here, give us one here it is I've been

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Speaker 2: waiting for the right podcast to send this story into

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Speaker 2: when I'm happy to say that Bananas is for sure

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Speaker 2: the right one. Yes, let me start by saying the

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Speaker 2: story is one hundred percent true, but you probably figured

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Speaker 2: that out by the end.

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Speaker 1: That's cool. Context two thousand and seven.

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Speaker 2: All right, I'm twenty four traveling for a consulting job,

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Speaker 2: one of these gigs where you're in a different city

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Speaker 2: every night. Yes, frosted. It's also the pre smartphone, pre

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Speaker 2: uber era. So I'm at the mercy the taxi driver

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Speaker 2: at the airport. I get into Omaha, nebrask at eleven

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Speaker 2: pm on a Wednesday night, get the first cab to

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Speaker 2: take me to my hotel downtown. It's an uneventful ride

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Speaker 2: and we get from the airport to the downtown area

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Speaker 2: without incident. Suddenly we're going through an intersection and the

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Speaker 2: cab driver slams on the brakes and there's a loud bam.

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Speaker 2: He's hit something in the street and there is a

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Speaker 2: gray substance all over the windshield.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: A guy on a bicycle shows up quickly, the cab

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Speaker 2: driver gets out and they begin trying to figure out

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Speaker 2: what exactly he hit. Yeah, the cops get there in

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Speaker 2: record time, and I'm left in the back of this

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Speaker 2: mini van Taxi's sitting in the center seat, clutching my

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Speaker 2: laptop bag, wide eyed, watching everything happening outside, trying to

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Speaker 2: make out exactly what is happening through them all the

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Speaker 2: mystery material that's covering the wind show.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's interesting.

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Speaker 2: Not having any clue where I was, I decided to

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Speaker 2: just sit there. They did a full accident report. Was

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Speaker 2: about thirty minutes in when they finally figured out what

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Speaker 2: exactly he had hit. A twenty gallon bucket full of

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Speaker 2: sour krowd. Amazing, yep, that kind of sour krowd, and

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Speaker 2: it was everywhere in the street, on the cab and

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Speaker 2: all over some biasstandards.

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Speaker 1: Wow, what a horrible moment.

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Speaker 3: You're just hanging out.

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Speaker 1: You're just hanging out in a cab.

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Speaker 2: Hits a twenty pound twenty pounds, So that's like, we

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Speaker 2: all know what a five gallon bucket is.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, twenty gallon bucket, A twenty gallon bucket, you just

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Speaker 1: matgin it. Gallon bucket. That's a that's like up to

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Speaker 1: your chest, that.

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Speaker 3: Huge bucket of sour kraut. Maybe somebody just borked up

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Speaker 3: with you. Maybe you're walking home after getting borken up

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Speaker 3: with and you're just getting crowded all over the place

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Speaker 3: to get borked and crowded.

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Speaker 1: And one night, same day, oh man, god, you.

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Speaker 3: Don't want to get borked and crowded. U.

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Speaker 2: After a laugh with the cops, cab driver jumps back

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Speaker 2: in the taxi, which is when I finally know the

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Speaker 2: meter was run the entire time.

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Speaker 1: Boom, fucking this. I hate this song.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my fifteen dollars cab ride was now over one

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Speaker 2: hundred and twenty dollars. Yes, like people forget oh yeah,

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Speaker 2: like people bemoan like the death of the taxicab industry.

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Speaker 2: But we were in lyft. Taxicab drivers would take every

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Speaker 2: opportunity to fuck you out of money, and it was

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Speaker 2: it drove me crazy.

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Speaker 1: Well, there was no accountability, there was no kind of bit.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, this is the only game in town.

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Speaker 3: Or who did you call? Yeah, my first, my first

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Speaker 3: time ever in Los Angeles. I think you and I

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Speaker 3: were pitching an animated show to Fox, maybe like twelve

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Speaker 3: years ago, thirteen years ago, and I came out and

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Speaker 3: we were staying with our buddy Rob. And it was

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Speaker 3: either before you got there or after you had left

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Speaker 3: something like that. But Rob and I went to a

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Speaker 3: party and it was my first sort of like Hollywood party.

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Speaker 3: There were some actors there, it was all comedy people,

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Speaker 3: which was really cool. And it was up off a

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Speaker 3: mall Holland Drive, which for those who are out here,

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Speaker 3: it's very windy roads to get up there. It's very isolated.

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Speaker 3: A lot of times cell phones didn't work up there.

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Speaker 3: It's so isolated and we're all drinking, hanging out. I'm

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Speaker 3: having conversations, we're laughing, and then the party starts to

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Speaker 3: die down, and then there's like the two factions of

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Speaker 3: the people that are like, we're gonna go to a

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Speaker 3: club or keep partying somewhere at somebody else's house. And

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Speaker 3: I had driven there and I was pretty drunk, so

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Speaker 3: I was like, I'm gonna leave my car and I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna call cab, and so I got it from the

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Speaker 3: owner of the house and he's like, oh yeah, just

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Speaker 3: call Bell cab or whatever it was. And so I

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Speaker 3: called and the guy's like, sure, twenty minutes. So I

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Speaker 3: wait forty five minutes. I'm talking to some woman and

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Speaker 3: she's like smoking a cigarette. Her ride comes, and then

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Speaker 3: I go back in the house because my cell phone

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Speaker 3: didn't ring, and there's like three people there, and I'd

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Speaker 3: be like, sorry, guys, the cab didn't come.

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Speaker 1: Do you care if I call again?

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Speaker 3: And so he's like, yeah, okay, nobody knew who I

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00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,400
Speaker 3: was of the people remaining. Oh now, so I'm like,

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00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,000
Speaker 3: I call again and they're like twenty minutes. So then

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Speaker 3: I wait outside and then I hear the doors lock

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Speaker 3: at some point, and so I'm just outside outside of

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Speaker 3: a house of some person I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god.

353
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Speaker 3: And about another hour and a half passes, and it

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Speaker 3: gets pretty cold in La at night, like you know,

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Speaker 3: I was like okay, and I can kind of see

356
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:17,639
Speaker 3: that in the distance maybe the sun is starting to

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00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:21,919
Speaker 3: rise a little bit. And then eventually I'm like, I'm sober,

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Speaker 3: I'm driving, And so I just drove my car home

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Speaker 3: because these two cabs took over three and a half

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Speaker 3: hours to show up, and I had no other Yeah,

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Speaker 3: so I had ended up sitting in my car and

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Speaker 3: then I'm like, I'm not drunk, it's been so long,

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Speaker 3: I'm going and so I just drove on down the hill.

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Speaker 1: Like it was so frustrating, but it was. There's no

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Speaker 1: accountability there's nothing you can do.

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Speaker 3: And then I don't remember if you remember this era,

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Speaker 3: but there was briefly a service in LA and might

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Speaker 3: have been in New York where they would ride a

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Speaker 3: bike to where you were, put a folding bike in

370
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Speaker 3: your trunk, and drive you to your house. And I

371
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,560
Speaker 3: saw the next time I did that. I don't remember

372
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Speaker 3: what it was called, but I laughed the entire time.

373
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Speaker 1: A guy. Sometimes it's a fold up scooter.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes it was an electric fold up scooter that was

375
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Speaker 2: just go in the trunk of your car.

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Speaker 1: So smart, it.

377
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:15,320
Speaker 3: Was so funny, and it was like they couldn't figure

378
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Speaker 3: out the connection of phone to uber, phone to lift

379
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:19,960
Speaker 3: or whatever it is now. It was like, well, what

380
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Speaker 3: if we get a non drunk person to drive a

381
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:28,040
Speaker 3: very drunk person's car, and then we get them which

382
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:31,119
Speaker 3: we're guessing is their destination, and then they get on

383
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:35,200
Speaker 3: their little folding bike and right away into the darkness.

384
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Speaker 1: I remember the being the We're in LA for one

385
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,119
Speaker 1: of the first time with Lauren.

386
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Speaker 2: Yeah, so we had just started dating and we went

387
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:50,080
Speaker 2: to something and and we met Eugene Merman out at

388
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Speaker 2: the bar right down the street here. But it was

389
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Speaker 2: like a part of East LA. That I'd never east

390
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Speaker 2: East Northeast LA. That had never been to before. I'd

391
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Speaker 2: been to silver Lake, but I had never been passed

392
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:04,000
Speaker 2: that right. And uh, and and we're and we're drinking.

393
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Speaker 2: It is Edendale. We're drinking out that place. I was

394
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:11,040
Speaker 2: pretty drunk and smoking cigarettes and uh. And Lauren was like,

395
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:12,960
Speaker 2: had agreed that she would drive home because I like

396
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,359
Speaker 2: drove us to where we were going or whatever.

397
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Speaker 1: And so we're driving.

398
00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:22,600
Speaker 2: We come up to a red arrow, a red left

399
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:27,320
Speaker 2: turn arrow and it's its own lane and both of

400
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:32,879
Speaker 2: us don't drive New York and uh, and I was

401
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,120
Speaker 2: just like, yeah, you just stop and then you go.

402
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:36,520
Speaker 1: And she's like okay.

403
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:40,160
Speaker 2: So she just drove through a red arrow, which is

404
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,239
Speaker 2: obviously driving through a red light. And a cop was

405
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:48,080
Speaker 2: directly behind us and then pulled us over, took her

406
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:51,840
Speaker 2: out of the car, and Lauren she was just furious

407
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,960
Speaker 2: and she was just just crazy. But then the cop

408
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:59,200
Speaker 2: and then another cop started coming over questioned me, going

409
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,360
Speaker 2: like hey you, uh, what's going on?

410
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,920
Speaker 1: Pal you drunk? And I was like I'm always.

411
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:09,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm buckled in the passenger seat, so eat

412
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,080
Speaker 3: my butt, dude.

413
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:12,320
Speaker 2: I was like, that's why she's driving. He's like, you've

414
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:18,920
Speaker 2: been smoking cigarettes? Why a ton of cigarettes?

415
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:22,479
Speaker 1: I've been drinking. I've been smoking and I'm not driving.

416
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think they just were like, what like,

417
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,360
Speaker 2: just put her back in the car to take that

418
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:29,040
Speaker 2: man home.

419
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:32,119
Speaker 1: Good, got away with it, did not get a ticket.

420
00:20:32,119 --> 00:20:32,760
Speaker 1: It was amazing.

421
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,040
Speaker 3: Oh the wild man defense.

422
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:37,360
Speaker 1: I hate that stuff.

423
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:41,360
Speaker 3: Yes, when I was in Mississippi, there were my girlfriend

424
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:43,560
Speaker 3: at the time down there, her sister was not a

425
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:46,960
Speaker 3: drinker and she would always designate drive us and it

426
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,520
Speaker 3: was a wonderful thing. And Jackie was driving us home,

427
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:53,400
Speaker 3: uh from a family gathering where all of a sudden

428
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:56,080
Speaker 3: had a few beers and somebody had brewed us beer

429
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,119
Speaker 3: like a six pack in their garage. So we had

430
00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:01,680
Speaker 3: a six pack of bottles and we drive it's about

431
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,200
Speaker 3: three mile drive from one house back to the house

432
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,600
Speaker 3: we were staying in, and the cops pulled us over.

433
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,920
Speaker 3: Jackie wasn't speeding, she wasn't drunk, she had didn't have

434
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,159
Speaker 3: a single sip. They pull us over. They're like, what

435
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:16,200
Speaker 3: are you guys up to tonight? And she's super politely, Oh, officer,

436
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,399
Speaker 3: we're just driving home tonight. Blah blah, blah, where do

437
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,520
Speaker 3: we live? Right around the corner on the street, and

438
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,400
Speaker 3: the other cop comes around, sees me in the back

439
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,200
Speaker 3: seat and it's like, you guys been partying. I'm like, no, sir.

440
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:28,640
Speaker 3: He's like, you guys have been drinking. Like, no, sir,

441
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,760
Speaker 3: and then he shines a flashlight in and between us

442
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,440
Speaker 3: in the middle back seat is the six pack of beer,

443
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 3: completely capped off and everything. And he goes there it is,

444
00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:42,679
Speaker 3: reaches in, steals the beer and then walks away. And

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00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:46,640
Speaker 3: then they leave us alone, and so I'm like, what

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00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,959
Speaker 3: is happening. I'm with three people from that town. We

447
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,399
Speaker 3: get back to the house. They don't mention it to

448
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:55,080
Speaker 3: anybody else, and I'm like, are you guys serious? And

449
00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 3: They're like what. I'm like, they just stole that beer.

450
00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:00,920
Speaker 3: They stole Haul's beer. The guy's name was Hall, and

451
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 3: they were like, oh yeah. I was like, they can't

452
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,480
Speaker 3: do that. I was like, you can't just take beer

453
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,360
Speaker 3: out of a car and they were like, well, it's

454
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:09,000
Speaker 3: a dry county.

455
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, you can drive beer. We're all in our

456
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 1: early twenties.

457
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 3: Like, and to them it was towly natural. I was like,

458
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 3: I was like, tomorrow morning I'm calling lawyers. I'm sue it,

459
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 3: I'm gone six I'm calling ATF Alcohol, tobacco, firearm needs

460
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 3: to know that I'm allowed. But they were. They were

461
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 3: so natural about it, and I like it was one

462
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:33,639
Speaker 3: of those things that, like hours later, I was way

463
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,959
Speaker 3: angrier than I should have been, but I was just stunned.

464
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:37,480
Speaker 3: I was like, well, there it is, and just stall

465
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,360
Speaker 3: a six pack of home broke and.

466
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 1: Then drank it in the car.

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00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:43,080
Speaker 2: I'm sure, So let me finish this, oh please story

468
00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:46,440
Speaker 2: for Lisa. Absolutely, So she finds out it's a hundred

469
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 2: tone of others. I figure I'll deal with the driver

470
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:49,959
Speaker 2: when we get to the hotel. So he puts taxiing gear,

471
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,240
Speaker 2: attempts to clean off the windshield with the wipers, and

472
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:58,760
Speaker 2: we continue our journey straight across the intersection to my hotel. Yes,

473
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 2: I had been sitting in a park cab for over

474
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:05,480
Speaker 2: an hour while my hotel was about ninety feet from

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00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 2: where we were. Oh God, did the cab driver not

476
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,119
Speaker 2: bother to clue me into this fact? And the stuper

477
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:13,320
Speaker 2: Sauer Kraut came me from seeing the hotel through the windshield.

478
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,880
Speaker 2: He demanded the entire one hundred and twenty.

479
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,200
Speaker 1: Dollars fee not cool.

480
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 2: I politely informed and that he was getting the original

481
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,679
Speaker 2: amount with tip and bounded out of the now awful

482
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:25,120
Speaker 2: smelling abomination of a taxian into the hotel. This story

483
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:26,600
Speaker 2: is a great reminder why I don't miss the pre

484
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:29,560
Speaker 2: smartphone days and why I started printing off directions from Matt.

485
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 1: Quis forever.

486
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:34,119
Speaker 3: The good old days.

487
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 2: Thank you, Oh it's actually Leslie. Thank you Leslie, Leslie.

488
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 1: You bringing that to us.

489
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 2: And this has been another minisode from Bananas folks.

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00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 1: Thank you Scottie, Thank.

491
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 3: You Curdie b Thanks to all the bananamals who listened

492
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:50,639
Speaker 3: to the mini soides. And we'll see you in Minneapolis

493
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,280
Speaker 3: and Kansas City. If this comes out before it, it

494
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 3: probably won't sounds good to me.

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00:23:56,560 --> 00:24:11,479
Speaker 1: Banana Hey. Bananas is an exactly right media production. Our

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00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 1: producer and engineer is Katie Levine.

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00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,240
Speaker 3: The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.

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00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 1: Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.

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00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:23,600
Speaker 3: And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and

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00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 3: Georgia Hartstart

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00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,440
Speaker 2: And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot

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00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,000
Speaker 2: intern